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1
00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,348
What?
2
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:17,418
How am I
getting shorter?
(knocking)
3
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,290
Jeremy.
4
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:23,357
Hey, Ab.
5
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:24,758
Hey.
6
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,660
Locked out
of my apartment.
7
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:27,795
You have a spare,
right?
8
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,131
No, I don't, I don't,
I would totally remember
9
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,566
if I had, um, one
of your keys.
10
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:33,834
That's weird.
11
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,769
You'd be the person I'd pick
if I gave someone a spare,
12
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,938
so, I just
assumed you had one.
13
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:38,972
I would be?
14
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,274
I mean, I
would take one.
15
00:00:40,308 --> 00:00:42,810
If we want to go through
that and that commitment,
16
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,745
I would have it with
me whenever.
17
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:45,913
Um...
18
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:47,548
While you're here,
inside my apartment,
19
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:50,984
maybe you could help me
put up a shelf?
20
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:52,286
I'd love to.
21
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,821
Let's do
that then.
22
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,624
* Blades of grass to look
like something new *
23
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,659
(crashing)
24
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,129
It's this guy.
25
00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:04,031
It won't
stay on the wall.
26
00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:05,833
Crazy.
27
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,435
Do you mind if
I take off my shirt?
28
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,137
Wow...
Um.
29
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:12,573
Sure.
30
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:16,377
Where'd you get
all that oil from?
31
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,945
Now I can put
up that shelf.
32
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:22,015
*
33
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:25,319
You're so...
slippery.
34
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:29,390
Wow.
35
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,760
That was
a hot dream.
36
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,628
My neighbor Abbi is so sexy
37
00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:38,699
and now I have this
great big humongous boner.
38
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,804
Oh my God.
39
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,173
(breathing heavily)
40
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:46,407
So intense.
41
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,775
Hey sleepyhead.
42
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,943
Someone had
a sexy dream, huh?
43
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,579
Shut up, Bevers.
44
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,282
Shut your
stupid face.
45
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,416
(groaning)
46
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,318
Yeah, girl,
get it!
47
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:58,319
Ilana.
48
00:01:58,352 --> 00:01:59,787
I'm so happy
you're here.
49
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,490
I was thinking maybe we could
masturbate next to each other.
50
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,657
Really?
51
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,193
I'm always trying to
get you to parallel play.
52
00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,360
You're never into it.
53
00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:10,063
It's because I
want to so badly.
54
00:02:10,097 --> 00:02:13,401
*
55
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,736
(gasping)
56
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:18,206
Oh my God.
57
00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:20,374
What a way
to start the day.
58
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,510
It's 5 p.m.
59
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:24,812
Great--
Closing time.
60
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,514
Have a good night.
61
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,283
* Four and three
and two and one, one *
62
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,759
Hurricane Wanda
has been upgraded
63
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,528
(knocking)
to a Category Four storm.
64
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:43,264
It is due to hit New York in
just a matter of hours.
65
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:44,365
The city--
66
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,433
Oh, thank God.
67
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:46,767
Hey, mama.
68
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,269
The lines were too long
at the grocery store,
69
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,103
so we just
went to the bodega.
Okay.
70
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,405
Cool--
Come in.
71
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,641
We got you the batteries and
duct tape, Sour Patch Kids,
72
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,577
Nutter Butters,
Mrs. Fields cookies.
73
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,580
'Cause we all might
die, so...
74
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,650
And they gave us
potato salad half off.
75
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,552
Wow... Great--
That's awesome.
76
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,520
So many awesome things
happening here right now.
77
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:08,489
Like, for instance,
Bevers is here.
78
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,259
And he invited
his sister to stay.
Ew.
79
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:13,461
Here--
Right now.
80
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,628
So...
81
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:17,831
Yeah-- I just found out that
she has an 11th toe.
82
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,567
Funny enough.
83
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,136
And she said that it's not where
you would expect it to be.
84
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,872
What do you mean?
I don't know.
85
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:27,107
'Sup--
Marla Bevers.
86
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,343
Do I smell potato
salad?
87
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,344
Just kidding.
88
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:31,479
I know I smell
potato salad.
89
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:34,715
I think it was a gift
for the host of the party.
90
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,116
(Matt)
Isn't this so fun?
91
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,718
It's like the
gang's all here.
92
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:38,819
Yeah--
I was dying to see
93
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,321
where my baby
bro lives.
94
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,456
Well, it's
not his apartment.
95
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,591
His girlfriend lives
here, so...
96
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:45,793
Where is your
girlfriend, dude?
97
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,362
Well, she went--
Yeah, she went to
her parents' house.
98
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:49,497
In Jersey.
99
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:50,831
To escape
the storm.
100
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,500
They were supposed to go--
She asked him to go.
101
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,535
I don't know what's
going on with that.
102
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,969
It's just
too much presh.
103
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,372
Her parents are like,
too into me.
104
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:02,310
They just think I'm really fun,
but the fun's staying here!
105
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,777
It's like
camp right now!
106
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,646
I have an idea--
Drinking game.
107
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,647
Yes!
108
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,581
Yes!
109
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:08,582
Mm.
110
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,418
Yes!
Yes, I get
the booze.
111
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,620
(Abbi)
I think that's
a great idea, Ilana.
112
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,222
Thank you for being here
and bringing people.
113
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:16,790
I love you too, dude.
114
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:17,958
It's like a moment.
115
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,860
I feel like nobody else
is here, you know?
116
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,667
In case we all die,
there is something
117
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,969
that I must
confess to you, Ilana.
118
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,404
Um...
119
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,005
*
120
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:38,245
Last summer, um, I switched our
laptop chargers in the night--
121
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:41,248
during the night,
like a sneaky thief.
122
00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:42,483
And that's why
yours never works.
123
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,084
And I see you try and
you try and you try
124
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,086
and it's
because it's mine.
125
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,688
Oh.
It's never gonna
work, Ilana.
126
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:48,956
I'm so sorry.
127
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,190
It's not a
big deal at all.
128
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,992
Really?
129
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,193
My God.
130
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,227
You are
forgiveness.
131
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:55,228
You are.
132
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,630
Wow-- Whew.
133
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:57,698
Thank you
everybody.
134
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:58,866
Namaste--
Gracias.
135
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,368
Okay--
I'll continue the game.
136
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,269
Um...
137
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:05,673
Never have I ever...
read a newspaper.
138
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:06,774
Really?
139
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,842
Even homeless people
read newspapers.
140
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:11,111
(Abbi)
Um, I'll
guess I'll go.
141
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,047
Never have I ever...
142
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,749
never have
I ever, um,
143
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,785
dealt with how my parents'
divorce affected my overall,
144
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,187
you know, being in
relationships.
145
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,590
So.
146
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:27,595
Hey.
147
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:29,697
Yeah... I mean,
it's an intense subject.
148
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,432
Can I get a bite
of that P-sal?
149
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:32,566
No, I'm still
working on it.
150
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,435
There's a lot of--
(screaming)
151
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,736
Bevers, calm down.
152
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,270
There's candles
somewhere.
153
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,406
My goodness.
154
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:39,640
(Ilana)
Relax-- Breathe.
155
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,808
(Jaime)
Calm down, Bevers.
156
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,143
* Boonce boonce
boonce boonce *
157
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,779
* Helicopter
Boonce boonce boonce boonce *
158
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:48,248
(Bevers laughing)
159
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,922
Time for a
Camp Miniwakaga favorite.
160
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:58,258
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
161
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,160
Come on, everybody
try to lift me.
162
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,195
You can only
use two fingers.
163
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,068
(all)
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
164
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:11,505
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
(stomach grumbling)
165
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,542
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
Hey.
166
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,845
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
167
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,079
Light as a feather...
168
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,247
You okay--
What's up?
169
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,751
Just a lot of people
here and I spite eat.
170
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,318
All of that
potato salad.
171
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,454
You're poop thing?
172
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:27,721
I wouldn't
call it that.
173
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,457
You gotta get
over it.
174
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:30,458
You have to
let it out.
175
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:32,025
It is seriously
dangerous.
176
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,326
There's too
many people here.
177
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,828
I can't--
I won't do it.
178
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,196
You got two
options here.
179
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,498
Either I'm going
to go in with you
180
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,000
and do ocean noises in
your ear to relax you
181
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,535
or I'll distract
everybody out here.
182
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:42,536
It's up to you.
183
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,037
I think we should go
with the second one.
184
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,739
Number two for
number two.
185
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:47,274
Nice.
186
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,477
Get in there.
187
00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:51,078
(all)
...stiff as a board.
188
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,046
You guys--
Bags!
189
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,616
Throw 'em up
in the air, huh?
190
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,485
It's like
"American Beauty."
191
00:06:57,485 --> 00:07:00,854
*
192
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,527
(laughing)
193
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,065
(handle rattles,
no flushing)
194
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,202
No, no, no.
195
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,504
Move these...
196
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,171
Okay.
197
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:20,541
All right,
so what is this?
198
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:23,043
Is the... ball caught
or something.
199
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:26,680
There's no water.
200
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:29,316
No.
201
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,350
(whispering)
Ilana.
202
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,819
Ilana.
203
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,153
Hey.
204
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,056
(Jeremy)
Just came by to see
if anybody needed anything.
205
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,758
(Ilana)
We're having a little
blackout party.
206
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,593
Come on in.
Cool.
207
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,162
(thunder rumbling)
208
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:47,868
(Abbi)
This is
an a-ha moment.
209
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:48,969
This is an a-ha moment.
210
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:52,072
I can make this an
a-ha moment weekend.
211
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,106
(bleep)
212
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,551
(Ilana)
What?
213
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,223
(knocking)
(Ilana)
Let me in.
214
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:11,692
It's just me.
215
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:17,565
Okay.
216
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,832
So it's bad.
217
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,568
I'm sorry this
is happening to you.
218
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,737
On the one night that Jeremy
comes over to my apartment,
219
00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:24,738
I explode.
220
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,239
Like, I mean,
this is the worst.
221
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,240
This is the best.
222
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,276
This is a sexy
situation.
223
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,244
It's terrifying
outside.
224
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,580
There's candles
all lit.
225
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,847
And who's
your competition?
226
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,583
Marla Bevers?
227
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,951
Abbi, I'm going to take
care of this for you.
228
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,587
There's no way--
229
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:42,756
I am a
doo doo ninja.
230
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:43,891
What does that
even mean?
231
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:46,393
You-- You do...
232
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,795
Do you grant
me permission
233
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:51,164
to use any means necessary
to make this go away?
234
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,600
Sure, fine.
235
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:57,905
Look me in the eyes and
tell me I have your permission.
236
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,472
You have my
permission.
237
00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,875
Any means necessary?
Any means necessary.
238
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:02,876
Great.
239
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,111
Awesome...
240
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,478
Now get out there,
bounce some little titties
241
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:09,116
for that hunky, quarter-Latino
and whatever else he is.
242
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,718
I dunno.
Okay-- Thank you.
243
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,052
Hey.
244
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,520
Gimme.
245
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:16,023
Oh my God,
thank you.
246
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,160
Okay.
247
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,294
(gasping)
248
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,529
Oh Lord.
249
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,064
(exhales deeply)
250
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:28,802
Hold up.
251
00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:31,371
Oh.
252
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,373
Yeah!
253
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,342
Hey...
There you are.
254
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,644
Hey, Jeremy.
255
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,979
I was just, uh, in my
bedroom 'cause a felf shell.
256
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,080
A felf shell.
257
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,381
A shelf fell.
258
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,850
Off the wall--
It was crazy.
259
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:43,917
You need some help?
260
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,318
I'm pretty good
with the felf shells.
261
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,319
No, no, no.
262
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:47,554
We should stay
out here.
263
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:48,856
We should
definitely--
(Matt)
Hey, guys.
264
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,557
We're putting
together a talent show.
265
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:52,926
Don't have to figure out what
your talent is, Ab.
266
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,896
Pretty sure it's
not washing dishes.
267
00:09:55,929 --> 00:10:00,668
She's always making
me wash dishes!
268
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,870
Such a jokester.
269
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,838
I love dishes
and washing them.
270
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:05,839
It is gone.
271
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:06,874
The deed is
done.
272
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,909
Your sh--
Iiit...
273
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:16,717
* It looks like
there's a talent show *
274
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,952
* In the living room
275
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:23,090
* I think that we should
go do that now *
276
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,128
I'll do anything if
she sings it like that.
277
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,097
As these wind speeds
increase, it is critical
278
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,498
that you stay inside.
279
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:33,266
We've already seen reports
of downed power lines
280
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,102
and we're
seeing heavy debris
281
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,737
blowing from
construction sites.
282
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,906
Wind gusts are going
to go a lot higher
283
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,774
before this is over.
284
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,375
Hello, my name
is Flo.
285
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,077
Everyone say,
"Hello, Flo."
286
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,079
(all)
Hello, Flo.
287
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,480
I can do
lots of dances.
288
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:50,583
I can do
the running man.
289
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:53,286
I can do the Roger Rabbit.
(Abbi)
It looks real.
290
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,389
I went into the park and
I did some jumping jacks.
291
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:59,727
One, two, three, four.
292
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,561
(beat boxing)
293
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:04,464
* We are the boys
of Danny's bunk eight *
294
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,200
* We like to eat Skittles
and master the bait... *
295
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,803
* ...Ting of hooks
and archery too *
296
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,873
* We're Counselor Danny's
bunk now who are you *
297
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,575
* I'm Matthew Bevers
I'm from Terre Haute *
298
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,378
* I like being on land I
get sick on a boat *
299
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,248
* We're Danny's boys
and we love to rap *
300
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,484
* Not just with our mouths but
with our mushroom caps *
301
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,920
(all)
No, no!
302
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,856
No, no, no,
the schlong song part
303
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,824
is the best part of the rap,
I swear to God.
304
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:31,892
(Marla)
I'll go next.
305
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,393
You sure?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
306
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,762
It's all right--
You can show it to me later.
307
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:39,867
My talent is I will leg
wrestle anyone in here.
308
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,902
You--
Cheekbones.
309
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:44,437
Let's do this.
310
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,240
Down on your
butt.
311
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:48,508
Here we go.
312
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,777
(Matt)
Yeah, lock 'em up!
313
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,278
(Lincoln)
Lock 'em up!
314
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,379
Oh!
315
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:55,548
I got a boot in my cootch
and I do not care!
316
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,549
What?
317
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,617
What are
you doing?
318
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,186
You are wasting
edge of death time.
319
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,620
Make a move.
What do you what
me to do?
320
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:04,624
My talent can't be
to like, wash his body.
321
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,795
You mean like, wash his
body after sex, right?
322
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,831
I want to make sure you're
optimizing your fantasies.
All right, it's
the first thing I thought of.
323
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,599
I know
what we will do.
324
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,301
I know what we
will do.
325
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,704
You say, "Let's
play Truth or Dare."
326
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:20,673
You pick me, I say, "Dare"
and then--
327
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:21,708
Got it, got it,
got it, got it.
328
00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,010
Say no more.
329
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,813
Okay, cool.
330
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:28,315
10, yes!
(Matt)
Whoo!
331
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,283
Champion!
(Jeremy coughing)
332
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,119
Don't feel bad.
333
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,987
I'm on speed.
334
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,189
Yeah.
335
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,624
Okay, you guys.
336
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,625
Truth or Dare.
337
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,626
No, come on.
338
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,128
We have to finish
the talent show.
339
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,262
No, we don't.
340
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:46,900
Um, hmm... Who should I--
who wants to-- Abbi.
341
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,001
Truth or dare?
342
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,202
Truth or dare?
343
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:50,470
Truth or dare?
344
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,372
You know what,
I'm gonna go with dare.
345
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,406
Okay.
346
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,576
I dare you to
suck Jeremy's (bleep).
347
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,211
(thunder rubmling)
348
00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,847
Um, that's a wrap
on Truth or Dare.
349
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,887
Oh my God.
350
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,922
Oh, this is an
amazing use of space.
351
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,925
See, this is next
level feng shui.
352
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:14,327
That pasty ass.
353
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,263
He lives
here for free.
354
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,131
Whoa.
355
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,399
That's Abbi's
roommate?
356
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:20,400
Yeah.
357
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:21,969
She is so hot,
it's bizarre.
358
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,570
Look at her body--
So tight.
359
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:26,974
Next to him, it's
just like, "You suck, dude."
360
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:30,878
Fully stocked
mini fridge.
361
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:32,880
Should I put my Lincoln Log
on one of these cans?
362
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,948
That is
so sweet.
363
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,749
Abbi would
love it.
364
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:40,087
Guys, there's something that
I want to get off my chest.
365
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,222
In case, you know,
we die today.
366
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,960
It's okay.
367
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:50,463
*
368
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,166
I once ate a corn
on the cob...
369
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,968
including the cob.
370
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,637
I can't really-- I don't see
anything wrong with that.
371
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,771
It's okay.
372
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,173
I'm sure it's good
for you in some ways.
373
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:02,342
Yeah.
I mean, it's roughage,
right?
374
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,911
I do it
every time.
375
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:07,280
I'm sorry, do you guys
smell something?
376
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,615
No.
377
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,117
Smell a little
like dookie, no?
378
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,751
Can you grab me some more
wine just to top it off?
379
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:15,188
It's getting flat.
Sure.
380
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,789
Jaime, it's you.
381
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,191
You smell terrible.
382
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,359
I smelled
it all night.
383
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:20,427
I'm sorry.
384
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:21,728
I think you stepped
in something.
385
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,096
I'm so sorry.
386
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:26,433
I think that we can all
agree that there's no smell.
387
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:27,734
It's the storm,
I think.
388
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,569
Yep.
389
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,940
*
390
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:35,242
Sweet dreams
on my ass, Bevers!
391
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:41,481
(farting)
Yes-- Got it!
392
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,050
(Ilana)
W-w-wait, wait, wait.
393
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,685
Ew.
394
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,957
It's tea time,
bitch.
395
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,458
Oh, governor!
396
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,460
I have a hole
in my weenus!
397
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,162
(laughing)
398
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,730
Have you been
to Africa?
399
00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:58,966
No.
Oh, you gotta go.
400
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,167
I would love
to go.
401
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,203
Yeah, I learned to cook meat
just out in the wilderness.
402
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,472
Yeah, you, you
cook a lot, right?
403
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,740
Every time I'm outside your
door, it smells so good.
404
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,143
It smells like garlic or--
You're smelling
my apartment?
405
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:13,846
Walking to places
that I go.
406
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,083
I go to a
lot of spots.
407
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,318
To answer your question,
I love to cook.
408
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,352
Me too.
409
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,721
I think cooking is
just a wonderful thing.
410
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:26,426
It's like, spices all over
stuff and mixed in.
411
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,995
What do you
like to make?
412
00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:30,230
Egg, mostly.
413
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,499
(angered shouting)
414
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,734
(Marla)
What the hell!
415
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,270
Who (bleep) in
my shoe?
416
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,776
Mother(bleep)!
417
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,812
So which one of
you maggots did it?
418
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,114
Okay, um, I'm
going to go.
419
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:48,315
I live right next
door, so--
420
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:51,251
No one's going
anywhere until I find out
421
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:55,788
who took a (bleep)
in my Shapely!
422
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,791
Was it you,
Dimples?
423
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,027
No, no.
424
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,728
I'm on a
low-fiber diet.
425
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,030
I go like, twice
a week, tops.
426
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,231
I promise.
427
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,498
You know, it could
have been anyone, actually,
428
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,067
'cause in hurricanes, people
are coming and going
429
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,402
and there's a lot
of stuff happening.
430
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,039
(urine splashing)
431
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:15,075
Matty,
come on, huh?
432
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,276
Camp was rough.
433
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,246
Tonight brought up a lot
of bad memories.
434
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,581
You took a dump
in my size 11s.
435
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,116
Just say so.
436
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,384
No, it wasn't me.
437
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,219
It wasn't me at
camp either.
438
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:27,354
Camp was the best.
439
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,056
I had
the best time.
440
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:31,591
Danny was the coolest
counselor ever.
441
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:35,395
Only me and Greg Shapiro
could blow ourselves.
442
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:38,065
I was always
the fastest at it.
443
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,899
Always!
444
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,201
What?
445
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,270
No.
446
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,072
No... Oh.
447
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,973
No, no, you got
it wrong.
448
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,875
It wasn't like that!
449
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:53,380
I would blow myself and Greg
would blow himself separate,
450
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:54,547
across the room.
451
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,083
There's a video
of it!
452
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,150
There's a--
453
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:07,627
Are you the secret dumper,
brown eyes?
454
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,296
Oh my God.
455
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,398
Marla, I know--
It was Brody.
456
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:12,399
Come on, Brody!
457
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,533
Come on out here, boy.
458
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:14,801
Come on out!
459
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,103
Brody's my dog.
460
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:17,537
And that
explains it.
461
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:18,638
Sorry, guys.
462
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,307
Oh, I feel like a crazy
methhead right now.
463
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,374
It's okay--
It's fine, it's fine.
464
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,676
Except for one thing!
465
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:29,916
If you had a dog, I'd be dead
because I'm allergic, bitch!
466
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:35,122
So Abbi, why'd you (bleep)
in my Shapelys?
467
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:38,191
And tell
it to the toe!
468
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:41,928
(thunder crashing)
469
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,496
Fine!
470
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,332
God, it was me!
471
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,866
I didn't (bleep)
in your Shapely though.
472
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,000
I wouldn't do that.
473
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:50,137
I (bleep) in the toilet,
but there's no water
474
00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,404
and I couldn't flush it.
475
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:52,872
Ilana said that she
would take care of it;
476
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:57,910
I did not think that that meant
she would put it in your shoe.
477
00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:58,911
God.
478
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,780
I'm sorry.
479
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,449
I'm sorry.
480
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,984
Okay, uh,
this was so fun.
481
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,287
I'm gonna go.
482
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,688
Glad I kept
my shoes on.
483
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:11,658
I will see you...
when I see you.
484
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,160
I feel like I
can explain it better.
485
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:14,261
In the hall.
486
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,429
Okay.
487
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,302
Oh, hey,
Ilana.
488
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:24,504
Crazy things
happening right now.
489
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,274
When you said you were a ninja,
I didn't know that that meant
490
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,542
you were just
gonna put it in a shoe.
491
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:30,677
What?
492
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:31,844
I didn't put it
in a shoe.
493
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,680
There's (bleep) in
this shoe, is there not?
494
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:37,184
Thank you so much
for covering for me.
495
00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:38,185
You're the best.
496
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,819
You (bleep) in your
sister's Shapely.
497
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,388
Just trying
to say thank you.
498
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,890
I'm really glad that Jeremy
thinks it was you and not me,
499
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,726
'cause I think I might be
developing a man crush on him.
500
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,195
He's pretty cool.
501
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,197
Let me take that.
502
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,832
You don't have to worry
about this again.
503
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:54,967
I get it.
504
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,236
Jeremy has
amazing teeth.
505
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,871
Yeah--
Jeremy's pretty amazing.
506
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,573
Do you mind if I talk to
Lincoln for a second?
507
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:01,641
Sure.
508
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,210
*
509
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:07,580
Hi, Lincoln, um, before we die,
which might be tonight,
510
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,416
there is something
that I have to say to you
511
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,218
and it's very hard
for me to say.
512
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,819
Listen, we've known
each other for a while,
513
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,221
so you can say
anything to me.
514
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,088
What's up?
515
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,590
Okay, Jaime
say it, okay?
516
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,259
Um...
517
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,561
When I was a little boy,
I had a pet turtle.
518
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,762
His name
was Franklin.
519
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:27,267
Privately, though, his
name was the N-word.
520
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,936
I would say,
"Come here, (bleep).
521
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,438
I love you, (bleep)."
522
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,573
I'm so sorry.
523
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,243
(laughing)
524
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,549
(laughing)
525
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:45,752
(sounds zipping backward)
526
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:48,054
Get out there and bounce
them little titties
527
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,156
for that hunky,
quarter-Latino.
528
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,858
Thank you.
Hey.
529
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,393
Gimme.
530
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,462
Oh my God,
thank you.
531
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,100
Hold up!
532
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:03,336
Oh!
533
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,605
Yeah!
534
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,708
*
535
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:13,780
We're just putting
together a talent show.
536
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,220
* Do it again *
537
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,630
*
538
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,067
It's all
in good fun.
539
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:39,572
It is gone.
540
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:40,640
The deed is done.
541
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,975
Your sh--
Iiit...
542
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:50,583
* It looks like
there's a talent show *
543
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,919
* In the living room
544
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:57,156
* I think that we should
go do that now *
545
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:00,993
Ooh.
546
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,663
Oh!
547
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:06,232
Oh!
548
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:09,001
Oh!
549
00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:10,870
Ah.
550
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,372
Oh.
551
00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:18,578
Press this button with your
left foot.
552
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,880
I'm tap dancin' and I'm
making money.
553
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,916
One, two, three, four
554
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,753
five, six and seven.
555
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,555
I didn't ten, I don't
like even numbers.
36546
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