Original subtitles

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No, I don't want a cup of tea! STOP PESTERING ME!

Gee whiz!

Oh...

Oh!

Yes!

I can't believe it...

I'VE DONE IT!

"Loyal, obsessive, inventive

and an enthusiastic tea drinker."

These were some of the words I have heard describe him.

It was, uh, Arthur's time.

There couldn't be a clearer message from the creator

than a lightning bolt from heaven!

And the divine light may have gone out for Arthur,

but not on the good work he did on this earth.

He leaves behind loyal wife Jill...

Jo... Ju... Jo... Joan...

...devoted son...

...and, uh, numerous...

...patents still pending!

Arthur was treasurer of the Amateur Inventors' Society,

a task he performed...

...adequately.

I can't stand it!

Lovely service!

Try and keep busy.

Volunteer!

Have you tried speed Sudoku?

It's very good for the cognitive functions!

Cognitive!

Um, the vol-au-vents are in the hall.

What? Oh, come on!

I've just seen ANOTHER wrinkle!

After the amount of calories I've just burned,

they should have melted by now!

I'm sure they weren't there yesterday

and I'm being smothered by spandex!

You should see it!

I mean, I love spinning class but I'd like to get some results!

Joanie... Joanie, are you there?

Well, how are you holding up?

Yes, I'm all right...

I was gazing at Arthur's coffin

and for a small moment I thought,

"This is going to be unbearably moving."

And then the vicar opened his mouth and all emotion went out the window!

"A task that he performed...

...adequately!"

I agree, yeah!

Talk about unprepared!

I don't think he even knew who Arthur was!

No, he didn't,

but aren't they supposed to do some research and at least SOUND sincere?

Mmm! Mmm! Mm-hm!

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm paying homage to Arthur with a bit of white chocolate!

How we all feeling? You all good?

Yeah?

Right, everyone's warm,

I want you to climb that hill, everyone up!

Let's work!

Good, let's feel that burn!

Let's tone those butts!

Nobody likes a saggy bottom, do they?

Well, why don't you come and take a bite and find out?

All right, ladies, keep going! Oh, God... Oh, God!

♪ LIZ CHRISTIAN: Call My Name

♪ Take my hand

♪ I promise I won't hide

♪ If you need somebody

♪ When you're all alone

♪ There's no need to worry

♪ And just think about...

♪ Say hello

♪ Yeah, I'll be by your side

Oh!

Careful! I've got you!

♪ I promise I won't hide

Come with me...

♪ If you're feelin' lonely

♪ Yeah, remember why I'm here

Woo! Woo!

♪ I'll be so near! ♪

Hello!

I've, uh, brought you some donations.

Let's see!

That's a GOOD trench coat!

It's only been worn once!

That's a LOVELY shirt!

It's, um... It's from Savile Row.

You know, in Mayfair!

Has it been cleaned?

Oh, don't be ridiculous, do I look like an old bag lady?

Everything's been washed! Recently?

Within the last three years!

It's just been stuck in the back of a wardrobe, that's all!

I suppose we could recycle some of the materials!

Uh, don't you want your suitcase?

Oh, no, keep it!

Mmm, we can't do anything with it!

Somebody might buy it! It's got no wheels...

Nobody's going to buy it, people want wheels nowadays!

Somebody might want it as a prop for theatre or radio!

There was a time when suitcases didn't have wheels,

when we couldn't just wheel things around with gay abandon,

you can't just write things off like that!

You'll be old one day

and then you'll think...

"I'm an old bag but I don't need any wheels!"

Would you like to sit down?

No, I'm fine.

Oh, please, it's no bother!

No, I'm perfectly capable of standing!

Thank you!

I'd feel happier if you sat down!

No, no, no, no, no! Oh!

I have queued for nine hours at Wimbledon

to get standing tickets on court number one

only to wait another five hours for Andy and Jamie Murray to play doubles

and then for it to be rained off

so I'm not afraid of a bit of standing!

I've spent my life sitting down!

Whoops! Oh!

Deary, deary me!

Oh, dear...

I warned ya!

I'm gettin' off at the next stop!

Oh... Oh, no!

I thought you had a fall, not brain surgery!

Can you suck strawberries through a straw?

Do you know who we are?

Do you recognise my voice?

No... Oh, I think we might have lost her!

Oh!

I'm in the NEXT bed!

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Excuse us and thank you so much!

Oh, here you are!

Oh!

I made you a strawberry trifle!

Oh! Wae a wee twist!

Let's just get out of here,

Nurse Ratched said you could go!

Oh...

I mean, hospitals, they just gimme the creeps!

It's official, I've turned into a mad person who rants at strangers on the bus

who are only trying to help

AND I suffer from falls!

Look at my medical notes!

"Lost footing, had a fall."

You need to be careful!

I mean, when you're young, you know, you just balance

but now we just kinda splat...

Thank you!

Mmm!

Considering almost NONE of his inventions actually worked,

I came to the conclusion it was his curiosity that drove him.

Oh, you know what you could do,

you could turn the shed into a yoga studio!

Ah! No?

Or I would use it for storing my supersize freezer!

Mmm.

Yeah, Arthur worked in it day and night.

It probably needs INDUSTRIAL sanitisation!

Eww! Right!

Right, there's no time like the present...

Rubber gloves, girls! Rubber gloves!

Oh, my God, what a horrible smell!

Oh, my God...

He wasn't making crystal meth, was he?!

Eww!

Oh, I could use this!

For my creme brulee!

Oh!

This was just like Karl, right?

Oh, typical man! This is disgusting!

Nothing clearly could stop him from his life's work.

When Karl left, I remember I needed more than a truckload of incense

to get rid of his man smell!

Eww! Urgh!

Urgh, what is that?

I have got a good, sensitive sense of smell!

Oh, no, no... Just give me a second! Give me a second!

Peaty... Woody.

Oh... A wee hint of coconut!

It sounds like a Caribbean cocktail!

Whisky!

No, whisky? Whisky!

He hated whisky!

Oh, no, no, I'm takin' a drink, babe!

I want it! Mmm!

Urgh!

You know, it tastes like vintage Johnnie Walker. Go ahead.

I had no idea he was a closet drinker!

Drunk! Drunk?

Drunk!

OK, listen...

I hereby convene the AGM for the Moonshine Society.

Firstly, apologies...

Arthur... Alas, huh?

Otherwise engaged.

Aww...

He ran a tiny yet well-formed moonshine operation,

a task which he performed...

Adequately!

To Arthur!

Oh, to Arthur! Arthur!

Oh, my God...

Mmm...

It's as if he's going to walk through that door at any moment

and I'm gonna tell him for the THOUSANDTH time

to wipe his muddy boots!

And he tells us off for drinking his firewater!

He'd probably want to join in!

Oh, I got an idea!

Watch... Watch this!

How about a little, like...

How about a little dance? Hmm? Woo!

No, no, stop it, I don't want to embarrass myself!

OK!

Uh-oh...

Oh, God, look at this...

I used to have pneumatic tits!

Yeah, and they were really perfectly shaped

and just, like, spear-like!

And I remember when me not wearing a bra would turn heads!

And now I don't think anyone would even look up!

Oh, for what it's worth, you'd turn my head any day!

Aww!

I love you! I second that!

Aww...

Look, I know, I know...

We're supposed to embrace getting older gracefully but it's such a drag,

isn't it?

Yeah, remember when you'd wake up in the morning,

your body didn't ache

and lines on your face from the pillow would vanish in two seconds!

Oh!

I don't remember exactly when my body gave up

but it was like a...

A gradual creep, like Japanese knotweed, you know?

Remember... Remember when we first met?

We could dance all night! I know!

Oh, it was so much fun!

Youth is wasted on the young.

Oh...

At least you two have been married!

You didn't miss much! No...

All men are ACTUALLY assholes!

It's all I ever wanted.

No...

Gladys...

Do I REALLY look that bad?

Oh...

Put the kettle on, tell the sun to GO AWAY!

Joan! Joan!

Where are they...?!

For God's... I'm right here!

I'm armed!

Joan!

What have you done with them?!

Oh, my God...

Oh...

Oh, my God! Uh...

Where did I go?

My... My face!

Oh, my God, Joanie, you look terrific!

Oh, my God!

I don't normally scare easily but...

You said the trifle had a 'wee' twist!

Aye, Chantilly cream, not this sort of twist!

Most of it's in shorthand and I could never read his writing!

I used to have a three-year plan but now, I mean...

Well, how long do you think this thing is going to last?!

I may need to rethink everything!

Did Arthur not mention anything to you about this?

Look at these puppies!

Can you stop doing that, please?! I'm trying to think!

I can't!

No pains, no aches,

no psyching myself up to stand!

I have a regular heartbeat!

Oh, for goodness' sake,

you're gonna ruin the springs in my settee!

Ah!

This...

Oh, biblical!

It's bigger than Sodom and Gomorrah!

What are we gonna do?

Find some more!

Go, go, go!

There's another three bottles he hid from you!

Where's the rest?!

God, Joanie, you should have paid more attention!

Maybe, but I found the details so BORING!

What he found fascinating would simply send me to sleep!

So, you never heard him say that he'd discovered the elixir of youth?!

In a bottle of Scotch? No!

Oh...

That makes four!

I think that's it!

Oh, God...

You can't give a puppy a bone then take it away!

No! No! It might last forever!

I wonder if it makes you forget your memories?

Or it might help you remember them better!

Oh, can't get rid of Karl!

Right, girls... Let's go out for the day!

When? What?

Right now!

Yeah, she's right!

You're never too old to become young!

Exactly!

Come on! Yeah!

All right, sexy!

Oh, come back, come back!

I'll find another one!

Granny chic, I like it!

Excuse me?!

Uh, the polyester threads, on trend!

Oh... Thanks!

So, what's your poison?

Uh, three cups of tea, please.

That's it? Tea?

How about Awabancha, bubble, tomato and mint

Wrestling Dragon?

Uh, Earl Grey, please.

Non-dairy milk?

You don't put milk in Earl Grey!

Don't forget to follow us on Insta for exclusive deals and discounts!

What? Sorry?

Take a seat, I'll bring them to you.

Huh...

So, what do we do?

We soak up the youthful atmosphere!

I think we need to get new clothes!

Nobody wears this type of floral anymore!

OK...

Oh, hello! What's this?

So, three Earl Greys, no milk

plus kombucha latte on the house!

I'll be over there if you need me, OK?

Fermented tea!

What is it with you and fermented stuff?

Mmm... That's quite nice!

Oh, that's undrinkable!

Urgh...

Think... Think of all the things that we can do!

Well, we could...

We could swim the Channel in THESE bodies!

Or sunbathe on the beach in our bikinis!

Jump out of planes!

You can do that at any age!

Well, let's make a list!

Oh!

Didn't you say you always wanted to see if gentlemen prefer blondes?

Experience tells me they date anything under 30, urgh!

What if it runs out?

Oh, don't overthink it!

Shall we just TELL people what's going on?

No!

Right...

God, there's SO many things I want to do!

What have you got?

Start cooking for other people,

get a wee conservatory put on the back of the house,

get a wee dog and call it Patch!

Aww!

And then maybe find a husband and have some kids...

At your age?!

Eh, you said anything was possible now!

What have you got?

Visit Vegas, go swimming with dolphins,

do nude pottery, find my chakras,

go skinny-dipping, try ayahuasca,

learn Inuit

and make my ex-husband Karl's life a living hell!

Mmm.

I'd...

I'd quite like to go back to a few of my old haunts.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news

but, hmm, yeah...

Ah! Yeah, yeah!

What? What?

Argh!

Moving out!

Go, go, go!

Sorry, sorry! Bye!

We changed back really quickly!

Everything is different,

I think we're gonna need a whole new wardrobe!

It's not just the clothes...

It's the make-up, it's the hair, the walk!

What about the catch... The catchphrases the kids use!

Oh, yes, that's right, the lingo!

We're going to have to learn a whole new language,

otherwise we'll end up looking a bunch of losers in cashmere sweaters!

Well, actually, I'm kind of partial to a cashmere sweater! You would be!

No, all we need to do is just blend in and change our mindset

and just be a little more down with the kids!

Why don't you try Facebook or something like that?

Oh, trust me, I've got plenty of books I can bury my face in!

'This my hack for a perfect contoured look

that will give you cheekbones you never knew you had!

Now, swipe along the forehead,

bridge of the nose and cheekbones

and blend, rubbing it into the skin until it looks completely natural,

giving you that amazing sculpted look you've ALWAYS wanted!

It's that simple, anyone can do it!

I love you guys!'

Oh, no...

Hmm, no, no...

Oh, he's nice!

Oh, no, he lives in Alaska!

♪ Pose! ♪

You know, I went on, like, A MILLION diets

trying to look skinny

but now when I look at my legs I realise they were actually quite sexy!

Mmm!

They used to weigh us EVERY week at secretarial college!

No wonder we're so self-loathing!

Speak for yourself,

I always thought I was quite bonnie!

You are quite bonnie, yeah!

What now?

Let's go, girls!

OK!

I'll just have whatever the young people are havin'.

Oh, OK, so we have landing strip,

Hollywood, half-strip, full strip,

Brazilian, Chilean,

you can also go au naturel...

No, really, I even spoke to a plastic surgeon for advice!

Yeah? And what did they say?

Get everything lifted

with full-size implants, facial fillers,

fat injections and Botox!

Oh, my God, what kind of look were you going for?

Frozen grin!

Do you want eyebrow reshaping, upper lip or sideburns?

Oh, keep going, I have hairs sprouting EVERYWHERE!

Ever since the menopause, I've become part werewolf!

Oh, we better get going, then! Argh!

Well, what do you have?

Oh, yeah, I went hardwood floors, I lasered it off years ago!

Very painful and I don't recommend!

However, what is trending right now is a full-on '70s shagpile!

Um, where'd you go out to have a good time?

Places that my friends don't get hit on by sleazebags!

Huh, and where would I go, say, if I WANTED to be hit on by a sleazebag?

Oh, honey, you come right here

because you need some lessons in self-respect!

What do you identify as? A woman on the edge!

We're old enough! We've been here before!

Come back in two years!

Can someone come and cover me, please?

I'm gonna need to see some ID! Oh!

Uh, oh, I... I'm sorry!

I don't have any!

How old are you? Have a guess!

Nineteen!

I'm 72!

Aye, and I'm pushin' 70!

Sir? There you go, honey!

I'd love to know her secret!

I'm 68!

Go!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk in again?

I'm not a photographer, but I can picture us together!

Well, here I am, what were your other two wishes?

Oh, my God!

Do you have a name or can I call you mine? Yes, yes, yes!

I mean, no!

Oh, my God!

Excuse me...

Um, I'll have a white wine spritzer, please.

I can match a drink to a person and I know you are NOT a white wine spritzer!

Spare me the spiel,

it's been my drink for a VERY long time!

OK, here's the spiel...

I'll make you a drink,

you don't like it, it's on the house!

This place is ON FIRE!

I feel like I'm burnin' up!

We should go, what if it wears off like last time?!

Oh, listen, Cinderella,

we're nowhere near pumpkin time!

We gotta rise up out of the ashes and spread our wings!

That's a lot of mixed metaphors, there!

Oh, loosen up, honey!

Plus, I think the DJ's got the hots for Susie!

Oh, he's a complete flirt!

He makes eyes at everyone!

Is he?

This is AMAZING! What is it? Uh, I made it for your friend!

Uh, sorry, what's your name?

Charming...

Oh, wait, wait, wait, no, no...

You need to know, this woman is my BESTEST friend!

OK, are you ready?

He said that I wasn't the woman he married,

that I had let myself go,

that I had started to look like his MOTHER!

Oh, Lind, that's enough!

Meet my best friend, Joan!

Because I wouldn't be here without her

and she deserves a chance to live her life again!

Who doesn't, right?

Yeah!

Let's dance!

Bye! Bye!

How comes I haven't seen you around here before? Oh, I don't go out much!

No? No, it's not my scene...

Fancy a drink? Aye. Yeah, go on.

What is it? Tequila!

Fancy one? Oh... Go on, then, I quite like it!

Cheers!

Oh! Oh, sorry!

♪ Yeah, we got soul... ♪

Oh, sorry, I don't feel so good...

Oh, God...

Oh, oh!

Lind!

Oh, there we go!

Think I've had enough!

That's it, you just drank too much! Yeah, I'm sorry...

The last time you did this was 40 years ago!

Seems like only yesterday! Not to me it doesn't!

I was a different person then!

I was ready to experience it all!

You know, fall in love...

And when Karl left me, you know, you really...

You picked me up!

And although I was really lonely, you know,

I realised not having little kiddies around was OK!

Look at all that grief you get from Robert!

I'll get you some water.

Club's closed, guys!

Have a safe trip home, yeah? Yeah.

You have a safe trip home too, sir.

What?

Lind, we've gotta go! Oh, OK!

Come on! OK!

Oh, right, um,

I'm gonna find my friends, I think!

One more?

Susie? Suze? Sue?

Susan?

Have you seen a Scottish girl? Have you seen a...

Someone in a silver, very short inappropriate dress?

Excuse me!

Susie! Urgh!

Sue! Where is she?

Come on, we really must get going! Sue!

Good morniiinggg!

Who are you?!

Oh... I'm nobody!

Did my mum put you up to this?

I didn't want to come here, you should have left me with my friends!

Find someone your own age!

Are you his mum?

If only we knew when we were going to change back!

Well, we were here at 11:00 and now it's 5:00am...

Yeah, so it lasts six hours!

Assuming it's the same every time!

Well, I suppose it depends on how much you've drunk.

No, no, girls, girls, just you remember it lasts six hours!

Right... Right. OK.

OK, well, we don't want to have any more embarrassing moments!

I'm sure I'm lookin' even older! DJ didn't think so!

Oh, OK, he was not my type!

All right, ladies,

tomorrow we are going to Sherwood Forest.

Uh-huh? Why Sherwood?

It's somewhere I went to when I was younger.

Ah!

Just felt like a different world.

That's the top of your bucket list?! Mm-hm! Yep!

Sherwood Forest here we come!

And look...

Ahhh!

No, no, no...

I would NEVER drink and drive!

What about skydiving in Vegas?

That's never going to happen, I'm scared of heights!

Oh, you just need some Dutch courage!

Speaking of which, I've got it right here!

I've got the glasses!

Just be patient!

Is this even the right way?

We'll be there soon,

I know this area like the back of my hand!

Honestly, I can't deal with it...

I don't think much of your shortcuts!

I'm gonna die of starvation!

Well, all the roads have changed since I was last here!

Hey, girls,

Looks like that surfer's on the menu!

Come on!

Well, hello and welcome to Arepas!

What can I get you?

Uh... (CLEARS THROAT) Him!

Oh, I can't help you there, miss!

I'm afraid he's gone back to Venezuela!

Oh!

Uh, what is all of this? Yeah!

This is Venezuelan street food,

and before you accuse me of cultural appropriation,

I'll have you know I am one quarter Venezolano!

This arm and my left leg!

Three, um, casupo arepas, please.

Sure, coming up!

Why don't you try my refried beans?

Mmm, thank you!

Coriander, cinnamon

and is that...

No... Cocoa?

Bingo! That's really good!

YOU'RE really good!

Here we are!

Two arepas for you!

Thank you.

And one on the house!

Oh, very kind!

Thank you. Enjoy.

He likes you! Stop it!

Oh, my God, he completely bought your chat-up line about the...

"Coriander, cinnamon, cocoa."

Oh, stop it!

It was just a little ingredient repartee!

Where's she going?

Joan, where are you going?

Why are you skipping? I don't know!

I'm gonna go climb a tree!

Oh, my God, I just feel so good!

Do you know what I fancy doing?

What? Climbing a tree!

Gosh, I want a drink!

When you're young, you've got so much time!

The world's your oyster!

Well, you don't get a free bus pass!

I'd swap a bus pass any day for a never-ending dose of youthful spirit!

How about a never-ending dose of Arthur's whisky?

Yeah, well, you used to get away with so much when you're young!

You know?

Like, you can get a dumb tattoo and still look sexy

and you can flirt outrageously without it being a felony!

You and I have always been SO different, haven't we?

So, Joanie, what is it about Sherwood Forest,

anyhow?

Well, happy memories, that's all...

With Arthur or did you have a fling with Little John?

Before Arthur!

Oh, the plot thickens!

I've never told anyone this but...

There was a time when it was my...

My happy place.

Oh, my happy place is in any cooking aisle of any large supermarket!

When I'm in there, I'm in heaven!

Oh, honey, you need to get out more!

Hey, Joanie, you OK?

Joan?

Come on! Come on!

Let's get some drink!

I'm parched!

Yeah, coming...

Stop right here!

Uh, hello?

Uh, excuse me...

Hi!

Um... Sorry, I'm closing now.

Oh, no, no, you see, uh...

You see that BEAUTIFUL young lady over there?

Yeah, well, THIS...

This... This is her number!

So, you call her and don't be a jerk!

Or I'll come and find you!

Hmm! Yeah!

You're so cute! Mmm!

Yeah!

This could be love, Susie!

Thank me later!

Oh, thank you so much!

That's sweet of you!

Ah! There we are!

Thank you, just what I needed!

Oh...

Mmm.

I loved a man once...

Yeah?

He was a manager at the bank.

I was so young, eager...

Ready to do ANYTHING he wanted me to do!

Oh, God!

He was handsome, polite.

Uh-huh?

He used to wear a pocket square

expertly folded in his jacket pocket!

Every lunchtime, we would go into the storeroom...

...and check ALL the stationery!

Oh, I know what...

I bet he showed you his pocket square!

Oh!

What happened? No, really?

Why didn't you marry him?

A bank manager can't be all that bad!

As it turned out,

he already had somebody who folded his pocket square.

Oh, married, typical!

Oh, I... I'm sorry, Linda!

What are you sorry at me for?

No, it's just that...

When you were married, I knew YOUR husband had affairs.

Ex-husband,

and you know what, I don't blame the women either,

not for ONE moment!

It was him. Mm-hm.

He couldn't stop sharing it about

and trust me...

...there wasn't that much to share!

Wait a minute, why didn't you meet anyone after that?

He broke my heart, I guess.

Oh, well, God, you know what,

I mean, there are SO many advantages to just being single!

Surely Karl wasn't all that bad?

Oh, no, no, he was worse!

It was our anniversary and we were supposed to go to Vegas.

You remember, my dream trip!

And Karl and I, you know, we still had something going then

and we were kind of enjoying each other's company, right?

Mmm.

And I was rushed into the emergency room

and, you know, everything that made me feel like a woman

was just, like, boom, gone,

taken away like that...

And then guess what...

A few days later when I woke up,

Karl said, "We'll never get the money back on those tickets!"

And that was that, we could never repair after that.

At least Arthur was a good man, right?

Mmm.

Yeah.

Oh...

A text from... Oh, his name's James!

He wants to meet me tomorrow!

Well, that's wonderful!

Oh, no, I can't do that!

He's expecting a young woman!

Right, girls...

What? Oh! We're sharing what's left!

Then that's it! Last orders, then!

Yeah...

We need to find some more!

I think I'm already hooked, you know what I mean?

But WHAT is the magic ingredient? Oh!

Four-leaf clover?

Dead Sea salt! Oh!

Tortoise shell? Tumbleweed? Spearmint?

Cow's tongue! Eww!

Tadpoles!

OK, OK, I got it! Moss!

No, let me save a note!

I'm saying wishbone now!

No, it's us, girls!

WE'RE the magic ingredient!

Cheers! We are!

Knock it back, hen!

Woo!

Mmm, mmm!

Oh! Whoa!

Oh, hi...!

Hi, Karl!

Who is it?!

Uh, I don't know, darling, I'll be right back!

Oh, are you not going to invite me in after all these years?!

You know, we could, uh, celebrate your birthday

and have dinner together!

I mean, your 70s, it's quite a milestone!

No, thanks! Oh!

Who are you?!

Hi!

And what's that? He's only 50! Yeah, right!

Oh, come here, baby, I've missed you! Mmm!

Mwah!

Oh!

You could have resisted! Didn't give me a chance!

Like a drive-by!

No man could have avoided that!

Yeah, no OLD man!

Look, I'm not being funny but this ain't funny!

What are you, a kissagram or what?

Oh, me? No, no...

Don't tell me you actually KNOW this woman?!

I have never seen this woman before in my life!

I think it's about time you left!

My fiance and I were about to open the champagne!

And then let me guess, uh, play strip Twister?

Yes!

No...

Oh!

Yeah, you know, honey, uh,

this man has an ADDICTION to younger women

so you're on dangerous ground!

OK, bye now, bye now!

And, uh, oh, congrats!

Congrats!

I don't know what you're talkin' about!

I'm not even that old!

How did she know that naked Twister was our thing?

Karl, I waxed and everything!

Um, I'm sorry to disturb you,

um, I wondered if I could speak to Karen Walters?

Um, I don't know her married name but...

Does... Does she live here? No.

Well, thank you, anyway.

You're welcome.

Well, I wanted my own restaurant a long time ago.

What do you mean wanted? You still can!

Well, I have a VERY deep distrust of bank managers

and I don't think I'd get much credit!

You're very wise...

I could walk you through my business plan, if you like!

It will take about two minutes.

I hadn't got a clue when I first started my truck!

Hmm. I loved your arepas.

The flavour of those peppers was just...

Why, thank you!

Yeah, you're cute!

Thank you!

So, are you comfortable? Yes!

Do you want me to adjust your seat for you?

Oh, no, no, I'm OK...

You know, I could just... Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh... Oh, wow!

Is there anything else you want to ask me?

Um, no...

I mean, I'm just here to... Oh!

Uh... Oh!

Yes, um, what gives you the darn right to do that?

Hmm?

Yes?

Sorry to disturb you again,

um, so, you've...

You've NEVER heard of her? No!

Karen Walters? No!

Are... Are you sure? Yes!

I'm sure! Very sure!

Well, thanks, anyway.

Sometimes things are just... Just not meant to be.

Right...

OK, so...

Full disclosure, and I know it's gonna make you run A MILE,

but I have to be honest...

You're married?

What? No! Well, yes, I WAS married!

But no, I have a kid. Caleb.

Really? Yeah!

He's six and I'd run to the ends of the earth for him!

Do you have a photo?

Yeah, I do!

Here's the little boy!

There we go!

Oh, he's lovely!

Isn't he?

You know, I... I have to protect him.

And I'm really wary about introducing him to new people

straight away.

So, I'd like to feel that you'd be up for meeting him one day!

And I'd like to feel that too.

Well, it's a bit different to Venezuela!

A little bit!

Is he yours? Yeah!

No, no... This is my parents' place!

That's Cecil!

Hello, Cecil!

I've gotta go now...

Obviously, this is the six-year-old son thing, right?

Women say they're cool and I don't hear from them again!

No, I'm... I'm cool as a cucumber!

OK, uh...

Look, I am too old and this is just...

I'm 24!

Age is just a number, right?

Right.

I've just got to go, that's all.

OK, uh, well, um...

See you again! See you!

OK!

OK! OK!

OK, bye, then! Bye!

Bye, then! Yeah, bye, thanks!

OK...

"Cool as a cucumber"?!

You nearly rumbled me!

Mum, you home? I'm in here!

Robert, what a surprise!

Nearly gave me a coronary!

Sorry, I didn't think you'd be in.

Ah, well, I am.

Uh, tea, coffee?

No, I'm just here to pick up dad's equipment.

Um, you're not going to use it to bake drugs, are you?

No, I'd like it because it was his.

Maybe that didn't cross your mind.

Why does everything have to be a criticism?

I'm sorry that came out wrong,

I know you don't do drugs.

What I meant was...

Yeah, get a job, settle down, yeah.

Get a car, find a career.

Do you have any idea what it's like to be young anymore?

Well, actually...

With your 60-year mortgages and your jobs for life?

The world's changed a lot since you were my age!

Oh, yes, the good old days

when, uh, they wouldn't let a woman have a mortgage without a man.

That's the way the world was.

Everyone just accepted it and got on with their lives.

Right, so...

You had to get married and have a kid.

That explains a lot.

Robert, just a minute!

When you were little, you were, um, six, I think...

You got a temperature, you were burning up

and then you developed a rash all over your body.

We took you to the hospital and they told us you had meningitis.

We weren't allowed to be in the room as you.

All I could do was look through the glass and watch

while they pumped your little body full of antibiotics.

I'd have done ANYTHING to have swapped places with you,

to have taken your pain away.

You still have the scar from the cannula on the back of your hand.

I don't remember.

I still have nightmares about that,

about trying to reach through the glass and hold you.

All I have ever wanted to do is protect you.

Who's Karen Walters?

All right, well, I'm going to pick up some of the stuff now

and I'll, uh...

I'll come back for the rest another time.

I agreed to meet Caleb.

Hmm? Who?

James' son!

There's hardly any left!

Oh...

How much do you like James?

I actually have feelings for him.

Well, just tell him you're pensionable,

see how interested he'd be in you then

with your varicose veins and your haemorrhoids!

You know what you could be? Maybe Caleb's grandmother! That's not very nice!

I just say it the way it is!

I know...

Why didn't Arthur make more of it, anyway?!

We need a lifetime supply at least!

I still have SO many things that I want to do!

Hmm...

What...?

Uh, OK...

What?

It can't be!

OK, so, uh, are you absolutely sure?

I know it's a lot for you to take in...

Would you like a glass of water?

I'd rather have a nice large whisky!

Sorry?

So, I don't... I mean, what is it?

What is it that the powers that be are trying to tell me?

Huh?

Why don't get you booked in with my oncology team?

They will REALLY help you, Linda.

You know what, I just want to say thanks for everything, OK?

See you in the next life!

Thank you...

Tia? Yeah?

You're good at tracking people down online, can you help me?

Yeah, all right, I'm coming!

I need to find someone.

Happy anniversary! Oh! Oh!

What? Oh!

At least you remembered!

I... I tried to get one with a meerkat on!

Oh, maybe growin' old isn't that bad after all!

Well, I mean, if you could find the right guy!

Hmm, I think things are gonna change for us!

I can feel it deep in my bones!

Oh-ho!

Oh, she looks great!

She's dressed for tennis!

Listen, I've only found another bottle!

No! Yes! Oh!

I've emptied the joint savings account,

sold off all the shares so we can blow the lot and go to Las Vegas!

Come on, girls, what are we waiting for?!

You'll catch flies like that, dear!

I'll say...

We should cancel their membership!

♪ Leavin' everything behind

♪ I'm leavin' everything behind

♪ When the sun began to rise

♪ I was calling out to someone

♪ With tears in my eyes... ♪

Shall we?

Oh! Oh, my God! Let's jump! Let's jump!

Oh, my God!

Viva Las Vegas! Wow!

Viva!

Las Vegas!

Hey...

I don't know what happened to the mirrored ceiling!

Where is it? Oh...

What happened to it? I don't know either1

Ta-da!

Oh, how did you manage that?!

I put it in the hold!

OK, wait, wait, wait, wait!

OK, first, you know what I need to do?

I need to powder my nose! OK!

So, meet back here, back here, one hour!

One hour! Deal! Deal!

Deal! Deal! OK!

You're saying there are no tickets at ANY price for tonight's show?

Oh, dear...

You... You're completely sold out?

Oh, it feels like a bit of a dream!

I can't believe that we're actually here! Mmm!

Is it time for a wee dram?

What?! Where did you get those?

I acquired them from the limousine!

Oh... Oh!

Yeah, I don't... I don't care for any, thank you.

No? Sorry?

No, I just kind of want to experience this as me!

But it... It... It is you!

No, no, no, I mean, as me NOW!

I mean, just for this last hurrah,

I don't need the whisky.

It doesn't, like, feel like the real me!

I think I'd be happier just being myself.

Oh, well...

Yeah.

Here's to being ourselves! Being ourselves!

To the real us! Mmm!

OK, this is our first night here!

Yeah!

Let's party! Heyyy!

Great party!

Incredible!

And you know what, you can almost stand up!

Are suggesting that I'm vertically challenged?

Yes! Yes!

OK, just checking!

Oh, your phone!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Hold it, hold it, hold it!

Oh, read this for me because I've left my glasses in the room!

OK, now wait...

OK, it says James wants to do screen time!

Just... Hey, just show him the view!

He's gonna love it!

Yeah, but he'll want to see ME!

Just say you don't know how to use the front and back camera!

Right? What does that mean?

Don't ask me!

Oh, be quiet!

♪ Hey there, brother, there's a world out there to see

♪ Just grab your boots and come on, walk along with me

♪ Hey there, brother, ride abandon on my knees... ♪

Oh, Arthur, this is as impressive as you said it would be!

Did you think I could be so brave, coming out here on my own?

I hope you're looking down right now and enjoying the view!

Who do I have to sweet-talk to get tickets for the show tonight?

Oh, I'm afraid when it says sold out, ma'am,

it's sold out.

Ah, OK...

There are no clocks in here,

how do I know if it's the right time for a drink?

Oh, it's, uh...

Always the right time in the world somewhere!

Name's Hal.

Uh, would you do me the pleasure of allowing me to buy you a drink?

Um, I'm Joan and the drinks are complimentary

so the casino can take advantage of it.

Oh, no, no, the house liquor isn't something I'd recommend!

I'd say we go for a double mezcal on the rocks.

Mezcal? Mezcal! Heaven in a glass!

Sunshine in a bottle. Trust me.

Are the house spirits that bad?

Well, I'll let you in on a little secret there, Joan.

I co-own this joint and I know what's in 'em. Ah...

It tastes more like drain water than Belvedere.

So, why do you stock it?

Well, it's, uh, cheap.

Anyway, nobody much cares.

Only thing they'll remember after losing all their money is the hangover!

Well, it's a novel approach to business!

Oh, you might as well go ahead and leave the bottle.

Right.

Uh, what makes you think one won't be enough?

Well, I don't know,

you might like the taste and decide to make a night of it!

To you, Joan.

To you, Hal.

Hold on, what is that?

Oh, that, my dear, is a scorpion.

Gives the mezcal its flavour.

And you expect me to actually drink this?

Well, why the hell not?

Life's about new experiences, Joan!

That's why you came here,

to the entertainment capital of the world!

Hmm, you mean the city of sin!

It's also the WEDDING capital of the world!

Just, uh, don't tell anybody

that Nevada also has the highest divorce rates in America!

I see a band there, Joanie, are you married?

I was.

Oh...

Yeah, me too.

Quite a few times, as a matter of fact.

You know, my folks, they were married for 61 years.

Used to be something I aspired to,

but not anymore.

If you did, would you restart the counter each time

or is it accumulative?

Ah, I'm still hoping to enjoy what time I have left with someone special.

Don't you mind getting older? Oh, I don't know...

I, uh... I see long-term, Joan.

Uh, when you're young you only see what's right in front of you.

What do you see now?

I don't know, let me take a good look...

I see a beautiful woman who's...

Ha!

...deciding what to do with the rest of her life.

Someone who's maybe at a crossroads.

Someone who maybe needs to take a breath.

Well, I'll drink to that!

Me too, Joan.

Oh...

Gets 'em every time!

Oh...

What, um...

What type of person are you attracted to?

Kind, smart and funny

and, well, I guess young!

Oh, well, not young!

Oh, now, come on, Joan, sure you are!

No, it's very kind of you to say so.

Only someone with a youthful spirit would take a drink that contained a scorpion

with a total stranger and still be sitting there!

You can meet a 20-year-old who's got a closed mind,

isn't going anywhere,

but not you, Joan, you're open to new things.

I... I think you'll always be young.

You know, I, uh, really ought to get back.

You know, it sure was nice meeting you, ma'am.

You too.

"I need to see you.

Please FaceTime me right now. James."

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm lost!

I don't know if this is my room or yours!

This is my friend's room!

Shh!

Oh, lithe and nimble one, you brought replenishments!

Hey, why don't you join me?

As tempting as that sounds, sweetheart,

I've got a full body transformation to organise!

Ah...

Mmm!

Oh!

Yeah...

You look like you need this!

A bit of lippy!

At this stage, I think I need a miracle!

You know what, I've seen you...

I've seen you before!

Oh, I know what, at CoCo's in London! Yes!

Oh, it was!

Oh, you're SO good!

Oh, stop it, stop flirting!

Thank you!

What brings you to Vegas?

Are you here with your partner?

No, no...

I'm on a girls' trip, yeah.

Oh, big old girls' trip!

Yeah! No holds barred!

Well, no, I mean, we're actually...

We're quite dignified,

especially my friend, Joan.

Well, I mean, she THINKS she is!

OK, I'm just gonna...

Let me try... Try a little lipstick. Yeah!

Yeah. Yeah.

Pat it on!

Oh, God, are you kidding? Yes, nice and glossy!

Glossy? Yes!

Oh, come on...

Look at you, a brand-new woman!

Yeah, right, thank you!

Yeah, totally, anyway...

If only, I don't know...

Anyway, yeah.

Are you OK?

I don't know if I am!

I feel like I just spent my whole life wishing things were different

and I wanted to be something that I wasn't

and I finally got what I wanted and it just still wasn't enough!

You know, I'm starting to think

that I just wished my whole life away!

It's true, you know...

I mean, that clock, it's ticking

and there's nothing I can do about it!

Let me... Wait, let me ask you something, OK?

OK?

Do you love yourself? I've worked hard to learn to!

It's part of the job! OK...

What is your secret for accepting who you are?

There is NO secret! No?

We all just have to walk our own path!

Sometimes in stilettos!

Yes!

You know I'm right, see?

OK? OK!

Just remember... Uh-huh? You're in Vegas!

You're with a drag queen in a restroom!

OK?

Don't mope around,

this is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

Right, OK!

Thank you!

Thank you for the advice!

Thank you so much! Thank you!

Yeah! Thank you!

Oh! It's beginner's luck!

I really... I have no idea what I'm doing!

Oh... Yeah?

Oh, my God... That one!

Oh, my God!

I beat you guys out, I slaughtered you!

I'm so happy!

'What are you watching?'

I have over 400 cooking channels and I haven't copied down a single recipe yet!

Why don't you watch?

Well, you still have time and I want to see YOU!

Oh, this is really interesting...

I'm going to have to take notes on that later!

Oh, shit... I didn't drink enough!

Sorry?

I have to tell you something...

Yeah, me too but you go first.

No, you.

OK, well, after my marriage ended

I was really hurt and...

Look...

It's been a long time since I've been with anyone.

Me too, a really, really long time!

And you have been blowing a bit hot and cold, you know?

I know you like honesty and that's why I...

Oh, I think... I think my battery's going!

Um, I'll call you later!

I was an eejit, I didn't take enough!

Did you call him back?

Well, why don't you send him some sort of a message?!

Am I falling in love?

Oh, well, uh...

What do you think, Joan? Yeah!

Huh? Joanie?

Joanie?

I fell in love...

Her name was Karen.

Oh...

Karen Walters.

We met at the lake in Sherwood Forest!

One summer night, when everybody had gone,

we stayed behind and laid down on the riverbank and stared up at the sky.

She had quite beautiful auburn hair.

Uh-huh?

And we lost touch...

She got married.

Nobody talked about it then. Only in hushed tones.

I thought there was something wrong with me

but then I met Arthur

and I thought, "Well, I could be happy."

He was a good man. Yeah.

He was patient...

No, actually he wasn't patient, but loving!

Loving! OK, OK!

I don't think we talked enough...

REALLY talked.

Because I was suppressing a part of myself.

But then, I did really love Arthur, so...

I love you!

You're drunk!

Oh, I don't care, I still love you!

Like a sister!

I mean, we've done so much together over the years!

I mean, how could I think of you as anything else?

And you... Wait, a minute, Suze...

Oh, hold on a minute!

Can somebody just tell me what's going on here? I'm a bisexual!

Uh-huh! You like ladies!

I've got it, yes!

I'm not TOTALLY green!

Just because I didn't get married doesn't mean to say that I don't know about love.

Of course not!

Well, I also happen to have discovered the secret of life...

Oh, well, come on, tell us!

Don't keep us hanging about! You have to accept who you are!

And believing that I wasn't thin enough

or pretty enough or smart enough...

There you are, you see, and I thought I was the only one!

I was exactly the same.

I fought my body my whole stupid life,

and guess what, it fought back!

And I'm not saying that it was my fault

but if I'd just stopped battling with myself I would've been so much happier!

Mmm!

But the one thing that has been a constant and NEVER has let me down...

...is you two.

Oh!

Oh, my God, here's to us!

Yes, to friendship!

Friendship.

To friendship. Friendship!

Oh, my God, I love you two!

Miss Joan? I'm so sorry, I'm not Joan!

No, I'm Joan.

Your tickets for the late-night show,

courtesy of the management!

Oh!

Thank you SO much! You're welcome!

Ah!

What magic did you use for that?

Oh, don't be silly!

Enjoy! Thank you!

Yeah, well, you two better get your asses changed!

That's all I gotta say!

It's true,

that's why we always say whatever happens in Vegas

stays in Vegas!

Well, that's enough from us style icons...

Yeah, even you!

Canadian Tuxedo, double denim, third row.

We can all see you! Yes!

Thank you for supporting this old but perfectly formed theatre.

Off-Strip!

And I mean OFF-Strip!

The only venue with absolutely no bad seats,

isn't that right, sir, sat behind the palm tree?

It is my absolute pleasure to introduce this next act...

He is the chameleon himself,

it is the one and only Boy George!

Oh, yes, and our maestro couldn't do it without his golden girls

and a little birdie tells me they're in the house tonight,

golden girls!

No, no, no, no...

You three golden girls, my darlings!

Yes, you, yes! All of you!

Come on up, ladies! Oh, my goodness!

It is your moment!

Stay close!

Come on up!

No, no, I can't...

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, who knew The Supremes were back in action, everyone!

Listen, I'm so excited, Vegas,

raise the roof and make some noise, scream, holler and shout

for Boy George!

♪ CULTURE CLUB: Karma Chameleon

Ladies, you look incredible!

Ohhh!

♪ Desert loving in your eyes all the way

Oh, thank you!

♪ If I listened to your lies would you say...

Come on!

♪ I'm a man without conviction?

♪ I'm a man who doesn't know

♪ How to sell a contradiction?

♪ You come and go

♪ You come and go...

♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon

♪ You come and go

Yes!

♪ You come and go...

♪ Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dreams

♪ Red, gold and green

♪ Red, gold and green...

♪ Every day is like survival

♪ Survival

♪ You're my lover, not my rival

♪ Every day is like survival

They love you! ♪ Survival!

♪ You're my lover, not my rival

Woo!

No, no, no, no, no!

What are you doing?!

♪ When you go, you're gone forever

♪ You string along

♪ You string along...

♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon

♪ You come and go... ♪

Did she not know that breakfast was complimentary?

Not like Linda to miss cinnamon pancakes!

No, it is not!

Lind, get ready, we are going skydiving!

Wake up!

Linda?!

Hello...

Oh, um, could you...

Could you let us in with a key?

Ah, great!

Great, thank you!

Thank you!

Ah...

Linda?

No...

Linda, no...

Why didn't she tell us it came back,

so that we could get prepared?

Ah, no, I think she was telling us in everything she did.

"Never stop living!"

But she DID stop!

I mean, there might have been something that the doctors could have done!

A new treatment!

She accepted what she had and who she was...

...and in the end she had fun.

Mm-hm. She did that. We all did.

Linda, she was greatly renowned, I believe, for her textile work,

being heavily involved in a spinning group and, uh...

"Dear Arthur...

I don't think I will ever be able to thank you enough.

You must be looking down at our recent adventures and having a good laugh!"

Cheers!

Mmm!

God, there's SO many things I want to do!

"You have opened my eyes to a life and a person I thought I had lost forever.

You gave me a chance to appreciate the people I have in my life

rather than dwell on those I don't.

I have laid a few ghosts to rest..."

Gird your loins!

Mwah!

"..and done a little haunting of my own."

And here's to us! To friendship!

Friendship.

To friendship.

Oh, please... Oh, my God!

"But mostly, I have found the joy and strength to walk my own path.

I will never forget how lucky I've been.

All my love...

Linda."

You OK, Mum? Where were you?

Um, well, I just thought I'd wait outside

cos I don't really like funerals.

Um, I remembered something.

Hmm?

When I was in hospital, uh,

yeah, I might have made this up but, um,

did you walk in the room dressed in a spacesuit?

It was PPE!

Yeah, I was...

I thought, "That's awesome! Mum's an astronaut!"

Astronaut? Talk about setting me up for a fall!

I'm sorry, Mum, um, for putting you through...

Uh, well, everything.

Well, no, I'm sorry if I wasn't always the mother I should have been.

I probably made a lot of mistakes.

I hope you can forgive me. Yeah.

Parents are people. Make mistakes.

They're not all astronauts.

I know you didn't always approve of the way your father and I lived our lives

but it worked for us.

There was love and you were very much wanted.

My new girlfriend is a tattoo artist.

How wonderful!

I'm a bisexual.

The thing with the next generation is they always think they've invented everything!

OK, boomer,

I'm sure you can still teach me a few things!

Have you ever thought of getting a tattoo, Mum?

Well, there's a first time for everything!

Hello!

What's happened? I can't breathe properly!

I can't even face going into the kitchen!

I feel like there's nothing in there for me anymore! What do you mean?

Is it wrong for me to want to know if James...

...can have feelings for the real me?

When do you want to go? How about right now?

Come on!

Come on!

Just be Susan!

I don't know who Susan is!

Of course you do!

Here we go...

Hey, Joan Collins, Tina Turner,

Dolly Parton, Cher all married younger men!

Hi! Hello!

You're just in time, my last bit of bean salad!

Oh!

OK...

Needs a wee bit more cayenne.

Right, OK!

Do I know you?

Huh...

I can see you're, uh, about to close up.

I'll... I'll go.

Wait, your laugh, it seems familiar!

Really?

Did I serve you last week?

We spent some time in the park!

You like the chimichurri!

I do like chimichurri but I don't remember seeing...

Uh, we chatted for a long time over the paella in Whitstable.

Did we? Yeah.

You were... Charming!

I was, was I? Yeah!

Right... Look, uh, I should go.

I've got to take my son swimming.

OK...

Here we are. Thank you. Goodbye.

Right... Bye.

You dropped this!

Yeah, that's my, um...

Business plan.

How's Caleb?

Look, I had to see you...

...because when you say something

you come from a really good place

and you always say exactly what you mean

and I always wanted a boyfriend and I don't feel lonely when I'm with you

and when I'm with you I feel like I can trust you completely!

And...

Oh, I know, I know, I've got a lot of explaining to do!

But age is just a number, right?

Right...

I... I like to cook!

Really? Mm-hm!

Maybe I could teach you something!

I'd, um... I'd like that!

Come on in!

Carpe bloody diem!

Hello? Hello, is that Joan?

Uh, yes, that's me.

Yeah, well, this is, uh...

This is Karen Daly's ex-husband, uh, Henry.

Uh, well, Karen Walters, as you knew her.

H... Hello? Uh, yeah, yeah, so... Yeah, sorry!

Um, yes, I'm still here.

Uh, your son, Robert, contacted me on Facebook.

She's dead, isn't she?

Heavens, no!

No, she gets confused but she's very much alive!

She's alive?

I mentioned your name and she was delighted...

...and she'd love to see you!

Yes, well, she had a fall.

Oh... Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Was it on a bus? Uh, no, on the pavement.

Yeah, she banged her head.

Yeah, um, so, there have been a few issues

but, uh, she should be out in a few days

once the swelling has gone down.

Hmm, everybody has falls.

There's no shame in that.

Now, look, uh, listen, she might not recognise you.

Could be the bump, could be something else,

but she talks about you all the time!

Really?

It was a long time ago!

Hmm.

Don't know if I've mentioned it to you

but we have a daughter called Joanie.

Joanie? Yeah.

And she's been ever so good,

she pops in to see Karen whenever she can.

Yes, you must have been such an inspiration.

Now, you should probably go in on your own.

If I were to be there, it might not be helpful,

the clash of past and present might be a bit confusing for her

so I'll leave you to it.

Thank you. Thank you.

Have you come to fix the bed?

Do I know you?

You know me better than most!

Aren't you a little bright-eyed to be a nurse?

Everyone in here seems to be so tired!

Could you be a dear and help me with my pillows?

Yes!

I want to be a bit more... Upright?

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

There we go...

Oh, thank you!

Um, could I borrow that glass a moment?

My mouth's gone a bit dry!

Yeah, of course!

Thank you.

Ah... Better!

Henry, your ex-husband, he seems very nice!

Oh, yes, he used to be a wonderful bowler

but he had a nasty sprain.

His overarm has never been quite the same again.

Do you play? What, cricket?

Um, enthusiastic spectator!

I've been told I run in my sleep.

Where do you go? Sherwood Forest.

You're a sight for sore eyes, Joanie!

What are you doing here, anyway?!

Oh, I've missed your laugh!

You haven't changed a bit.

Oh!

Your eyes, they...

They sparkle just like they did when I first met you!

I'm so glad you've come!

I've been dreaming about our nights by the lake for a long time...

We were lousy secretaries, weren't we?

Oh, God, hopeless!

We should have stayed in touch!

You stopped writing.

Well, I got married and we moved.

Same here.

Um, I'm sorry that we drifted apart.

No room for regrets.

One needs to work out what's important...

...only then can you find peace!

I know.

And that's what I hope I can do before it's too late.

I think you've found it. So do I.

And that's why I'm here!

Oh, you make me feel so young!

I'm older now.

Bye.

Are you ready? As I'll ever be!

You better appreciate this, Linda!

Only she could get us to do something like this!

It feels like we're gettin' just a wee bit closer to heaven!

I think I'm terrified!

Ah, what's life for if you don't just get on and live it?

Mmm, and thank goodness there's no age limit on us enjoying ourselves!

Oh, I'm supposed to be enjoying this?!

Oh, God!

Thanks a lot, Linda, for everything!

Right, let's do it!

Oh, an extra thanks to Arthur!

Arthur.

Let's do it!

Release these and let go!

Let go!

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

We love you, Lindaaaaa!

Woo!

Wow...

Geronimooooo! Here we go!

Well done, Joan!

Woo! Go, Mum!

Go ahead, Joan, now's a good time!

I'll always love you, Linda!

Goodbye!

Woooo!

Woo-hoo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo!

Wooooo!

♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon

♪ You come and go

♪ You come and go...

♪ Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dreams

♪ Red, gold and green

♪ Red, gold and green...

♪ Didn't hear your wicked words every day

♪ And you used to be so sweet

♪ I heard you say that my love was an addiction

♪ When we cling, our love is strong

♪ When you go, you're gone forever

♪ You string along

♪ You string along...

♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon

♪ You come and go

♪ You come and go...

♪ Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dreams

♪ Red, gold and green

♪ Red, gold and green... ♪

♪ CULTURE CLUB: All I Know

♪ They fall into pockets and they can't get out

♪ Stuck in the corner, no room for doubt

♪ Alligator teeth, thorns in your bed

♪ Twenty years of thinking 'bout what was said

♪ If there's a ghost of a chance that that ghost can dance

♪ I might take his hand

♪ If there's a ghost of a chance of a sweet romance

♪ I might stick around

♪ Because of all I know

♪ I'm learnin' to let things go

♪ Let go

♪ Because of all I know

♪ I'm learnin' to let things go

♪ They fall into pockets and they can't get out

♪ Stuck in the corner, no room for doubt

♪ And you, I feel like I'm 17

♪ Everything touching me in a brand-new way

♪ Hey, I love you more today

♪ If there's a ghost of a chance... ♪

- AccessibleCustomerService@Sky. - UK