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1
00:00:04,414 --> 00:00:08,533
Attention Cloud 9
shoppers and employees.
2
00:00:09,154 --> 00:00:11,655
I, uh... I just wanted
to take this moment
3
00:00:11,657 --> 00:00:13,490
to, uh...
4
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:18,724
Uh, to... to say goodbye.
5
00:00:19,732 --> 00:00:22,192
This is my last day as manager here.
6
00:00:22,193 --> 00:00:25,721
I am stepping down to spend
more time with my family.
7
00:00:26,205 --> 00:00:27,437
Pretty emotional for a guy
8
00:00:27,439 --> 00:00:29,606
who only demoted himself
to floor worker.
9
00:00:29,608 --> 00:00:31,308
Yeah, you'd think
he'd mention that part.
10
00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:32,488
No, he's getting to it.
11
00:00:32,489 --> 00:00:34,711
He's been doing the
same speech every hour.
12
00:00:34,713 --> 00:00:37,080
He wants to cover
as many customers as possible.
13
00:00:37,082 --> 00:00:38,482
I've heard it five times.
14
00:00:38,484 --> 00:00:39,583
He's getting really good at it.
15
00:00:39,585 --> 00:00:41,652
My second family.
16
00:00:41,654 --> 00:00:44,504
While you've been helping
people find light bulbs
17
00:00:44,506 --> 00:00:46,004
and paper towels,
18
00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:50,316
you've also been
helping me find myself.
19
00:00:51,642 --> 00:00:54,335
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
20
00:00:55,833 --> 00:00:57,867
And guys, I say this a lot,
21
00:00:57,869 --> 00:01:00,717
but we really need to wet down
those raccoon droppings
22
00:01:00,745 --> 00:01:02,039
before we sweep.
23
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,328
Dry sweeping is the reason
24
00:01:03,329 --> 00:01:05,616
why those roundworm eggs go airborne.
25
00:01:06,789 --> 00:01:09,278
God, I just realized
this is the last time
26
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,181
I'm going to tell you guys
to spray your droppings.
27
00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:13,649
- Aww.
- And I finally get to stop
28
00:01:13,651 --> 00:01:15,718
sucking up to this guy. Right?
29
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:16,802
That's what you've been doing?
30
00:01:16,804 --> 00:01:17,670
- Yeah.
- So now
31
00:01:17,672 --> 00:01:19,622
that you're becoming a floor worker,
32
00:01:19,624 --> 00:01:20,623
what do we call you?
33
00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:21,624
Glenn's fine.
34
00:01:21,626 --> 00:01:22,725
- Glenn?
- Mm-hmm.
35
00:01:22,727 --> 00:01:23,609
Feels weird.
36
00:01:23,611 --> 00:01:25,594
Does this mean Dina's gonna be manager?
37
00:01:25,596 --> 00:01:26,829
No, thank you.
38
00:01:26,831 --> 00:01:28,339
Though I will outrank Glenn,
39
00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:30,766
who will be right below Marcus
and just above Jonah.
40
00:01:30,768 --> 00:01:32,285
You rank us?
41
00:01:32,287 --> 00:01:33,479
And I'm below Marcus?
42
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,271
That's crazy. I'm the worst.
43
00:01:35,273 --> 00:01:36,572
It's that kind of self-awareness
44
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:37,803
that keeps you a notch above Jonah.
45
00:01:37,804 --> 00:01:40,743
- So who's taking over?
- Well, I'm hoping it's Amy.
46
00:01:42,213 --> 00:01:43,713
- What?
- Cool!
47
00:01:43,715 --> 00:01:44,830
I mean, I doubt it.
48
00:01:44,831 --> 00:01:46,649
I have to get Laurie to interview me,
49
00:01:46,651 --> 00:01:47,807
and she hates me.
50
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,385
Oh, I'm sure she doesn't hate you.
51
00:01:49,387 --> 00:01:51,587
Eh, she's made some comments.
52
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,595
♪ Well, there's nothing I can do ♪
53
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:01,347
♪ I only want to be with you ♪
54
00:02:03,201 --> 00:02:04,797
Oh, here he does. Here he goes.
55
00:02:04,798 --> 00:02:06,514
Okay, chowder's headed down south.
56
00:02:07,238 --> 00:02:09,605
- Oh, my God!
- Eww!
57
00:02:13,344 --> 00:02:16,078
- Oh, God! I hate this!
- Excuse me.
58
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:17,346
One second. It's almost done.
59
00:02:17,348 --> 00:02:18,948
Oh, I think it's done now.
60
00:02:18,950 --> 00:02:20,583
Oh, hey. Hi, Laurie.
61
00:02:20,585 --> 00:02:22,533
It's, uh... uh, been a minute.
62
00:02:22,558 --> 00:02:25,626
Um, is your hair the same?
63
00:02:25,628 --> 00:02:26,300
Yes.
64
00:02:26,301 --> 00:02:28,529
Sorry, we were just watching HotNuts.
65
00:02:28,531 --> 00:02:29,920
What's HotNuts?
66
00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:32,833
YouTube guy pours
hot liquids on his genitals.
67
00:02:32,835 --> 00:02:34,101
Beverages, soups.
68
00:02:34,103 --> 00:02:35,523
Hmm, sounds brilliant.
69
00:02:35,524 --> 00:02:37,738
So where should our phones be
during work hours?
70
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:40,774
- Um, in our pockets.
- In your lockers.
71
00:02:40,776 --> 00:02:42,843
In our lockers, right. Yeah.
72
00:02:44,563 --> 00:02:46,947
So why don't you go do that now, okay?
73
00:02:47,366 --> 00:02:49,049
Nice to see you guys.
74
00:02:49,718 --> 00:02:50,868
Man, I really wanted to show you
75
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,619
the Thanksgiving one he did.
76
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:54,772
Ah, does he pour hot
gravy down his pants?
77
00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:56,356
Yeah, but he does it with his dad.
78
00:02:56,358 --> 00:02:57,691
It's really nice.
79
00:03:00,262 --> 00:03:03,330
Gosh, you know, everything
in here has a story,
80
00:03:03,332 --> 00:03:05,553
like this hole punch.
81
00:03:05,554 --> 00:03:08,168
Okay, it's only supposed
to be able to do 18 pages,
82
00:03:08,170 --> 00:03:10,838
but one day, I got it to do 25.
83
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,456
I went straight home
84
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,341
and made love to Jerusha that day.
85
00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:16,253
Well, that's a story I'll remember.
86
00:03:16,278 --> 00:03:18,485
Oh yeah. You like it?
87
00:03:19,064 --> 00:03:20,180
You should have it.
88
00:03:20,182 --> 00:03:21,665
Oh, uh, no, I... I...
89
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,834
Oh no, come on, please.
You love it. Take it.
90
00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:25,702
Um, if he gets a hole punch,
91
00:03:25,704 --> 00:03:27,271
can I get this bag full of cash?
92
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,568
- Whoa!
- Oh, that's my rainy day fund.
93
00:03:29,568 --> 00:03:31,796
Corporate sets aside
a certain amount of the budget
94
00:03:31,797 --> 00:03:33,064
for miscellaneous maintenance,
95
00:03:33,065 --> 00:03:34,321
so whenever we don't use it,
96
00:03:34,323 --> 00:03:36,260
I just take out in cash
and set it aside.
97
00:03:36,261 --> 00:03:37,541
You know, just in case.
98
00:03:37,543 --> 00:03:39,755
But they think you spent
this on maintenance.
99
00:03:39,756 --> 00:03:42,579
Yeah, and I would have
if I needed to, but I didn't.
100
00:03:42,581 --> 00:03:44,481
So just leave it there
for the next manager.
101
00:03:44,483 --> 00:03:46,683
Wait, so... so you told them
102
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,018
you spent money you didn't spend.
103
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,320
- Mm-hmm.
- Then you...
104
00:03:49,321 --> 00:03:51,021
took the money and kept it in a bag
105
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:52,589
hidden in your office.
106
00:03:52,591 --> 00:03:55,909
- Yeah.
- Isn't that embezzlement?
107
00:03:55,911 --> 00:03:58,896
No, embezzlement
is when you put jewels
108
00:03:58,898 --> 00:04:00,118
on your jacket.
109
00:04:00,119 --> 00:04:01,732
I think you mean bedazzling.
110
00:04:01,734 --> 00:04:03,125
Which is also a crime.
111
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,940
Oh, hey! Laurie! What's up, girl?
112
00:04:09,942 --> 00:04:11,963
It's been, like, forever.
113
00:04:11,964 --> 00:04:14,511
How's the district manager world?
114
00:04:14,513 --> 00:04:16,580
#DMLife, right?
115
00:04:16,582 --> 00:04:19,178
Uh, I'm still doing
some physical therapy
116
00:04:19,179 --> 00:04:21,282
from when you ran me over
with the golf cart.
117
00:04:21,654 --> 00:04:23,223
Yup, yeah.
118
00:04:23,656 --> 00:04:26,957
Um, well, anyway, since
Glenn is stepping down,
119
00:04:26,959 --> 00:04:29,827
I was wondering if, maybe,
I could interview for the job.
120
00:04:30,573 --> 00:04:31,746
You want to be manager?
121
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,889
Yeah, um, well,
I've been here for 15 years,
122
00:04:34,891 --> 00:04:37,725
and I did really well
in the Cloud 9 Academy.
123
00:04:37,727 --> 00:04:39,245
Oh, wow. Okay.
124
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,928
You did the one day,
uh, training session
125
00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:41,804
near the airport?
126
00:04:42,565 --> 00:04:44,398
I'm not sure what it
being near an airport
127
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,241
has to do with anything.
128
00:04:45,242 --> 00:04:46,467
I'm sorry. I would really love
129
00:04:46,468 --> 00:04:48,435
to interview you, but I actually have
130
00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,037
another candidate in mind, so...
131
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,440
- Oh. Okay. Great.
- Yeah.
132
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:54,525
Well, um, if that guy falls through
133
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:56,511
or, you know, if
anything else opens up,
134
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,913
I... I would love to throw
my hat in the ring.
135
00:04:58,915 --> 00:05:00,007
Shwoop!
136
00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,500
Sorry, I just touched your boob.
137
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,557
Hey guys, you won't be hearing from me
138
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,958
for the next five hours,
139
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,091
but don't worry,
I haven't been kidnapped.
140
00:05:13,116 --> 00:05:15,016
I just can't use my phone.
141
00:05:15,018 --> 00:05:17,051
But if you don't hear
from me after that,
142
00:05:17,053 --> 00:05:20,522
I probably have been kidnapped,
and it was probably my uncle.
143
00:05:20,524 --> 00:05:23,224
He's really nice,
but just statistically...
144
00:05:24,828 --> 00:05:25,593
Stay strong.
145
00:05:25,595 --> 00:05:26,961
You'll be out before you know it.
146
00:05:31,034 --> 00:05:33,017
Oh, shoot. I forgot my phone.
147
00:05:33,019 --> 00:05:34,267
Cheyenne.
148
00:05:35,939 --> 00:05:37,306
Oh, yeah.
149
00:05:40,744 --> 00:05:42,644
Glenn, it's... it's going to be okay.
150
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:44,729
Just... just breathe
and drink your juice.
151
00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:49,071
Well, not at the same time, obviously.
152
00:05:49,763 --> 00:05:51,536
Maybe they won't
even realize it's gone.
153
00:05:51,538 --> 00:05:53,888
They do an audit every time
there's a management change
154
00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:55,857
at the store. I think
they're going to notice
155
00:05:55,859 --> 00:05:58,092
$27,000 missing.
156
00:05:58,094 --> 00:05:59,093
You can't just return it?
157
00:05:59,095 --> 00:06:01,429
No, 'cause I already
told them that I spent it.
158
00:06:01,431 --> 00:06:02,831
Okay, maybe this helps.
159
00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:03,954
I found this jacket online.
160
00:06:03,955 --> 00:06:06,298
It's beaded, it's exactly $27,000.
161
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,735
So add to cart?
162
00:06:07,736 --> 00:06:09,291
Spending it isn't going to help.
163
00:06:09,292 --> 00:06:10,584
Actually, it might.
164
00:06:10,585 --> 00:06:11,607
- What?
- Yes!
165
00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:14,412
Glenn, can I borrow
$2,000 for sales tax?
166
00:06:14,878 --> 00:06:16,502
- Sure.
- No, not on the coat...
167
00:06:16,503 --> 00:06:19,447
that's bananas... but if you need
to spend it on maintenance,
168
00:06:19,449 --> 00:06:21,382
why don't we just spend it
on maintenance?
169
00:06:21,384 --> 00:06:25,274
How am I supposed to find
$27,000 worth of stuff
170
00:06:25,299 --> 00:06:27,110
to repair in one day?
171
00:06:27,110 --> 00:06:29,577
There's just not
that much stuff that's broken!
172
00:06:29,579 --> 00:06:31,930
Well, there would be if we broke it.
173
00:06:33,583 --> 00:06:35,750
Ugh, I can't wait to have a manager
174
00:06:35,752 --> 00:06:37,819
that's not a paunchy
idiot with elf hair.
175
00:06:37,821 --> 00:06:39,654
Well, it's not gonna be me.
176
00:06:39,656 --> 00:06:41,322
Laurie won't even let me
interview for the job.
177
00:06:41,324 --> 00:06:43,975
She's already decided who she's hiring.
178
00:06:43,977 --> 00:06:46,060
Whoa. It sounds like you need to go
179
00:06:46,062 --> 00:06:48,267
take a big, fat 17-B on her desk.
180
00:06:48,632 --> 00:06:50,532
Eww. What are you talking about?
181
00:06:50,919 --> 00:06:53,268
Rule 17-B. 17-B?
182
00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:55,503
Come on, you know 17-B. 17-B.
183
00:06:55,505 --> 00:06:57,150
B as in boy. Rule 17-B.
184
00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:58,404
You can't just keep saying it...
185
00:06:58,405 --> 00:07:00,742
Any employee who completes
the Cloud 9 Academy
186
00:07:00,744 --> 00:07:03,087
should be granted an interview if...
187
00:07:04,014 --> 00:07:07,649
if a management position
becomes available at their...
188
00:07:07,651 --> 00:07:09,717
- Dina, just say it.
- At their store.
189
00:07:10,283 --> 00:07:11,035
Okay?
190
00:07:11,037 --> 00:07:12,687
She literally has to let you interview.
191
00:07:12,689 --> 00:07:14,055
She's already decided who she's hiring,
192
00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:15,056
so what's the point?
193
00:07:15,058 --> 00:07:17,668
The point is you should get
to make your case.
194
00:07:18,226 --> 00:07:20,307
Look, if you feel awkward asking her,
195
00:07:20,308 --> 00:07:22,064
I'm happy to come back you up.
196
00:07:23,714 --> 00:07:26,165
Laurie Neustadt, you are
in violation of rule 17-B
197
00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:27,630
of Cloud 9 hiring policy.
198
00:07:27,631 --> 00:07:29,051
So you either interview Amy,
199
00:07:29,053 --> 00:07:31,220
or I file a 31-J with Kyle Robichot,
200
00:07:31,222 --> 00:07:34,056
and you do not want me filing
a 31-J with Kyle Robichot.
201
00:07:34,058 --> 00:07:35,224
So that's your move?
202
00:07:35,226 --> 00:07:36,876
You're forcing me to interview you.
203
00:07:36,878 --> 00:07:38,294
- I... I... I...
- Fine.
204
00:07:38,296 --> 00:07:40,312
Whatever, let's just
get this over with.
205
00:07:42,266 --> 00:07:43,497
Knock 'em dead.
206
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:54,189
So, should I start with
my qualifications?
207
00:07:54,426 --> 00:07:56,343
So I don't really think
that you are qualified,
208
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:59,012
but, you know,
it is your interview, so...
209
00:08:00,752 --> 00:08:03,424
Okay, all right, um, well,
210
00:08:03,790 --> 00:08:07,581
I've been at Cloud 9 for 15 years.
211
00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:12,670
I have strong relationships
with the staff, and over time,
212
00:08:12,672 --> 00:08:16,924
we have really built
a mutual respect and trust.
213
00:08:17,513 --> 00:08:20,010
Um, sorry, do you need a minute?
214
00:08:20,012 --> 00:08:21,879
No, I'm fine. No. Keep going.
215
00:08:23,902 --> 00:08:26,903
Okay, uh, well,
as far as specifics go...
216
00:08:26,905 --> 00:08:27,770
Yo, yo, yo, it's HotNuts here.
217
00:08:27,772 --> 00:08:29,939
I've undertaken a
number of initiatives.
218
00:08:29,941 --> 00:08:31,074
Uh, for starters,
219
00:08:31,076 --> 00:08:33,276
I streamlined our go-backs process
220
00:08:33,278 --> 00:08:36,604
so that we waste less time in restock,
221
00:08:36,604 --> 00:08:40,290
and also I reorganized
the women's wear section
222
00:08:40,315 --> 00:08:44,150
so that basics like camisoles
and strapless bras
223
00:08:44,152 --> 00:08:46,152
were easier to find
during wedding season.
224
00:08:46,154 --> 00:08:47,681
Oh, God! They look really bad!
225
00:08:47,681 --> 00:08:49,201
I'm not getting this job, am I?
226
00:08:49,547 --> 00:08:50,324
No.
227
00:08:54,296 --> 00:08:57,797
Um, are you scrolling
a block of cheese?
228
00:08:57,822 --> 00:09:01,524
Ugh, I miss my phone!
229
00:09:01,526 --> 00:09:03,192
Yeah, I know. Look, it's only
230
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,742
a couple more hours.
It's the length of a movie.
231
00:09:04,742 --> 00:09:06,525
If I can sit through
"The Hitman's Bodyguard,"
232
00:09:06,527 --> 00:09:08,160
I can make it through this.
233
00:09:08,162 --> 00:09:10,662
- "The Hitman's Bodyguard"?
- Yeah.
234
00:09:10,734 --> 00:09:12,374
You didn't see that? Ryan Reynolds,
235
00:09:12,374 --> 00:09:14,105
Samuel I. Jackson, and uh,
236
00:09:14,486 --> 00:09:17,492
the other guy. He always
plays a bad dude.
237
00:09:18,178 --> 00:09:19,376
Uh, he's British.
238
00:09:19,377 --> 00:09:20,953
- David Beckham.
- No.
239
00:09:21,156 --> 00:09:22,148
He's British,.
240
00:09:22,149 --> 00:09:24,599
Yeah, I know, but that's not who I'm...
241
00:09:25,392 --> 00:09:26,474
it's, uh... oh!
242
00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:28,525
Okay, you know who I'm talking about.
243
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,695
He's in everything.
244
00:09:29,696 --> 00:09:31,002
He was in Harry Potter.
245
00:09:31,002 --> 00:09:33,090
- Oh, Daniel Radcliffe!
- No.
246
00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:36,062
- Daniel Radcliffe is British.
- Yeah, I know. Okay?
247
00:09:36,794 --> 00:09:39,465
All right, I got a real grab bag!
248
00:09:39,682 --> 00:09:42,225
I've got hammers and
wrenches, crowbars.
249
00:09:42,226 --> 00:09:43,807
What do we need a bow and arrow for?
250
00:09:43,808 --> 00:09:46,017
I don't know. It felt... of the world.
251
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:48,412
Okay, well, where... where...
where do we begin?
252
00:09:49,109 --> 00:09:50,419
I figure we'd knock
253
00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:51,647
a few holes through this wall here.
254
00:09:51,648 --> 00:09:53,874
What, no! This... this wall?
255
00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:57,014
This... this is the wall
that Cody pinned me against
256
00:09:57,015 --> 00:09:59,162
when he was learning
to drive the forklift.
257
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,385
- Glenn, Glenn.
- Come on!
258
00:10:00,386 --> 00:10:01,408
If you don't want to go to jail,
259
00:10:01,409 --> 00:10:02,988
we're gonna have to do some damage.
260
00:10:02,989 --> 00:10:03,762
Yeah.
261
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,230
- All right.
- Go get 'em.
262
00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,655
I... I think, uh, I think you wanna...
263
00:10:12,656 --> 00:10:14,684
you wanna put your back into it
a little more.
264
00:10:15,466 --> 00:10:16,498
There you go.
265
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:17,402
- Ow!
- Oh, oh.
266
00:10:17,403 --> 00:10:20,111
So apparently, I'm just not
qualified enough for the job.
267
00:10:20,431 --> 00:10:22,488
You're more qualified
than Glenn ever was.
268
00:10:23,007 --> 00:10:24,495
Do you want me to seduce her for you?
269
00:10:24,496 --> 00:10:26,442
No. Thank you, though.
270
00:10:26,443 --> 00:10:28,396
Have you ever heard of
something called HotNuts?
271
00:10:28,397 --> 00:10:29,554
Oh yeah, that guy's great.
272
00:10:29,555 --> 00:10:31,238
He's worth, like, 10 million dollars.
273
00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:33,865
Excuse me, folks,
can everyone gather up?
274
00:10:34,421 --> 00:10:37,296
Um, I'd like to introduce
you all to someone.
275
00:10:37,297 --> 00:10:39,976
This is, uh, Blaine Neustadt,
276
00:10:39,977 --> 00:10:41,572
and he's going to be taking over
277
00:10:41,573 --> 00:10:43,252
for Glenn as manager.
278
00:10:43,253 --> 00:10:46,442
You... you... uh, excuse me, Neustadt?
279
00:10:46,443 --> 00:10:48,396
As in, like, your last name?
280
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:49,865
Uh-huh. Yeah.
281
00:10:50,132 --> 00:10:52,322
Not that it's any
of your business, but yes,
282
00:10:52,323 --> 00:10:54,216
Glenn is my son,
but that has nothing to do
283
00:10:54,217 --> 00:10:55,550
with why he got hired here.
284
00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:58,422
Wow, you do not look old
enough to be her son.
285
00:10:58,622 --> 00:10:59,516
That's an odd thing to say.
286
00:10:59,517 --> 00:11:01,745
Ah, I just want to say hey everyone!
287
00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:04,179
Uh, I'm so excited to be here.
288
00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:06,733
This is so cool to be part
of this great team.
289
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:10,099
Uh, mostly I am very excited
to be done doing Postmates.
290
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,055
Oh, my car reeks.
291
00:11:12,897 --> 00:11:14,196
This is a good choice
292
00:11:14,197 --> 00:11:17,186
if you're looking for graphics
and raw processing power.
293
00:11:17,187 --> 00:11:20,405
Um, for example, I'll just
pull up my Instagram account.
294
00:11:20,406 --> 00:11:22,592
Oh, I'm just looking
for a "get well" gift
295
00:11:22,593 --> 00:11:23,624
for my mother-in-law.
296
00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:25,632
She doesn't use a computer.
297
00:11:25,633 --> 00:11:27,903
What? Corona and Stacy S.
298
00:11:27,905 --> 00:11:29,538
Are hanging out at Chili's?
299
00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:30,920
I hate them!
300
00:11:31,575 --> 00:11:32,291
Like.
301
00:11:32,411 --> 00:11:34,743
Okay, so I heard that
if you look directly
302
00:11:34,745 --> 00:11:36,905
into the scanner light,
you instantly go blind.
303
00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:39,420
This weirdly makes me feel better,
304
00:11:39,421 --> 00:11:41,688
'cause it wasn't about me
being unqualified.
305
00:11:41,689 --> 00:11:43,394
She just wanted to hire her son.
306
00:11:43,395 --> 00:11:45,034
Yeah, but you can't let her do that.
307
00:11:45,035 --> 00:11:46,773
You need to go back
up to her and tell her
308
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,932
that she needs to either give
you a real shot at this job,
309
00:11:48,933 --> 00:11:50,119
or you'll go to corporate and tell them
310
00:11:50,132 --> 00:11:51,511
about her little nepotism hire.
311
00:11:51,512 --> 00:11:53,990
No, I'm not gonna go
tell on her like I'm 12.
312
00:11:53,991 --> 00:11:55,371
Besides, corporate doesn't care.
313
00:11:55,372 --> 00:11:56,886
It would be a waste of my time.
314
00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:59,179
Hey, um, you're
the floor supervisor, right?
315
00:11:59,180 --> 00:11:59,900
Uh-huh.
316
00:11:59,901 --> 00:12:01,343
Great, awesome, um.
317
00:12:01,344 --> 00:12:03,447
Can you tell me where inventory is?
318
00:12:04,908 --> 00:12:08,786
Uh, yeah, it's sort of all around us.
319
00:12:10,488 --> 00:12:13,050
Yes, yes, thank you.
320
00:12:13,051 --> 00:12:15,651
I will... I will go look
into that. Thank you.
321
00:12:20,868 --> 00:12:22,124
- Can we talk?
- No!
322
00:12:22,126 --> 00:12:22,794
Oh, God.
323
00:12:22,795 --> 00:12:23,990
I'm sorry. You're busy.
324
00:12:23,991 --> 00:12:25,837
- Get out! Go!
- Never mind.
325
00:12:31,616 --> 00:12:35,586
Amy! The Aiming of the Shrew.
326
00:12:36,117 --> 00:12:37,533
Hey, Laurie.
327
00:12:37,558 --> 00:12:39,341
I have been meaning to talk to you.
328
00:12:39,366 --> 00:12:42,534
I want to make you a manager.
329
00:12:42,536 --> 00:12:44,002
Um, what?
330
00:12:44,004 --> 00:12:46,590
What, uh, me? What about Blaine?
331
00:12:47,207 --> 00:12:49,040
He... Blaine's great. Um, it's just...
332
00:12:49,042 --> 00:12:50,375
you know, I've been thinking about it,
333
00:12:50,377 --> 00:12:52,711
and I looked through your
file, and clearly,
334
00:12:52,713 --> 00:12:54,745
you're the most qualified
person here, so...
335
00:12:55,698 --> 00:12:57,182
Um, wow.
336
00:12:57,184 --> 00:13:00,385
That is a lot to take in
all of a sudden.
337
00:13:00,387 --> 00:13:03,021
Big, big opportunity.
338
00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:06,869
I know, um,
just before I say yes or no,
339
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,226
I just want to be clear.
340
00:13:08,228 --> 00:13:10,228
Um, if you're offering it to me
341
00:13:10,230 --> 00:13:12,754
because I'm the best person
for the job, then yes!
342
00:13:12,755 --> 00:13:15,257
I will take and I will be kick-ass.
343
00:13:15,285 --> 00:13:17,587
But if you're offering it
to me because of...
344
00:13:19,605 --> 00:13:21,272
Then, uh, you know,
you don't have to do that.
345
00:13:21,274 --> 00:13:23,298
It's not like I'm going
to go tell anyone.
346
00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:25,276
Really? Wow.
347
00:13:25,727 --> 00:13:27,635
Okay. I appreciate that.
348
00:13:27,636 --> 00:13:29,280
Not too many people would do that.
349
00:13:29,282 --> 00:13:30,897
Thank you.
350
00:13:32,148 --> 00:13:33,481
Sorry, wait, I'm sorry.
351
00:13:33,483 --> 00:13:35,199
Uh, so where did we land exactly?
352
00:13:35,201 --> 00:13:37,652
- What do you mean?
- Do I have the job?
353
00:13:37,654 --> 00:13:39,440
But I thought you just turned it down.
354
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,083
Well, no, I mean, that just...
355
00:13:41,083 --> 00:13:42,497
only if you were offering it to me
356
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:43,355
because of the drug thing,
357
00:13:43,357 --> 00:13:45,390
but if you were offering it to me
358
00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:46,558
because of my abilities,
359
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,452
then...
360
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:49,681
Hmm.
361
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,057
So this is awkward.
362
00:14:35,016 --> 00:14:37,016
Go, go, go.
363
00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:49,061
Okay, no. You know this guy.
364
00:14:49,063 --> 00:14:51,207
He's a British actor, he's older,
365
00:14:51,209 --> 00:14:52,198
he likes being weird,
366
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,566
he's always doing stuff with his hair.
367
00:14:53,568 --> 00:14:55,234
Sometimes it's long,
sometimes it's short.
368
00:14:55,663 --> 00:14:57,536
He was in Batman.
Oh, uh, Christian Bale.
369
00:14:57,538 --> 00:14:59,572
No, no, no. He wasn't Batman.
370
00:14:59,574 --> 00:15:01,240
Like I said, he's older.
371
00:15:01,242 --> 00:15:03,209
Just... just look it up on your phone.
372
00:15:03,533 --> 00:15:04,319
Michael Caine.
373
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,794
No, it's not Michael...
just pull up IMDB!
374
00:15:06,795 --> 00:15:09,041
Dude, it's Michael Caine!
He plays the butler.
375
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,212
Yeah, I know he plays the butler.
376
00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:12,043
- The Joker?
- Yeah,
377
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:15,930
the older British actor
I'm thinking of is the Joker.
378
00:15:15,932 --> 00:15:16,820
Thank you.
379
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:18,055
I like movies.
380
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,190
And then she just offered me the job.
381
00:15:21,190 --> 00:15:23,292
This is awesome! You and me,
382
00:15:23,293 --> 00:15:24,652
manager, assistant manager?
383
00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:26,771
Oh, it's going to be like
we're Bush and Cheney.
384
00:15:26,773 --> 00:15:28,656
You know, I'm the brains
pulling all the strings
385
00:15:28,658 --> 00:15:30,608
behind the scenes, and you're
the super sexy puppet.
386
00:15:30,610 --> 00:15:32,944
What... I'm... I'm...
I didn't take the job.
387
00:15:32,946 --> 00:15:34,068
What? Why?
388
00:15:34,069 --> 00:15:36,614
Because that's not how
I wanna get the job.
389
00:15:36,616 --> 00:15:38,499
If they're going to hire me,
I want it to be because
390
00:15:38,501 --> 00:15:39,951
I'm the most qualified person.
391
00:15:41,621 --> 00:15:45,248
Hey, so I guess we're
just out of green beans.
392
00:15:45,249 --> 00:15:48,459
Should I get somebody to go
buy more from another Cloud 9?
393
00:15:49,846 --> 00:15:51,775
Is that really
what you think you should do?
394
00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:54,174
I guess. Right?
395
00:15:55,018 --> 00:15:56,801
I just hope they're not selling
them for more than we are,
396
00:15:56,803 --> 00:15:58,636
or else we're losing money on this.
397
00:15:59,606 --> 00:16:00,855
Okay.
398
00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:04,500
There is a lot of damage around here.
399
00:16:04,501 --> 00:16:05,663
Yeah, I know.
400
00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,645
It was a gang of teenaged hoodlums.
401
00:16:07,647 --> 00:16:09,864
You know, slicked hair,
leather jackets,
402
00:16:09,866 --> 00:16:11,649
combs in their back pockets.
403
00:16:11,651 --> 00:16:14,740
Uh, total, I'd say you're
looking at $18,000 for repairs.
404
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:15,559
$18,000?
405
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,120
Yeah, there's a lot to do around here.
406
00:16:17,121 --> 00:16:19,257
I thought it would be
more like $27,000.
407
00:16:19,826 --> 00:16:21,630
You never charge me this little.
408
00:16:22,309 --> 00:16:23,376
The truth is...
409
00:16:23,974 --> 00:16:25,857
I've been overbilling you for years,
410
00:16:25,882 --> 00:16:28,486
but I recently quit drinking
411
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,835
and I'm trying to be a better person.
412
00:16:30,837 --> 00:16:33,671
I can do it for $15,000,
but that's final.
413
00:16:33,673 --> 00:16:35,640
$15,000, but that's crazy!
414
00:16:35,642 --> 00:16:36,734
No, it's not crazy.
415
00:16:36,735 --> 00:16:38,481
It's... it's me trying to be
a better person.
416
00:16:38,482 --> 00:16:39,844
Can you go with me on this one?
417
00:16:39,846 --> 00:16:41,399
Yeah, okay.
418
00:16:50,297 --> 00:16:51,663
I'm just gonna say it.
419
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,077
Blaine is sexy,
but he is not a good manager.
420
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,410
He keeps pointing at me and goes,
421
00:16:55,411 --> 00:16:56,528
"This guy gets it,"
422
00:16:56,529 --> 00:16:58,362
and I don't. I don't get it.
423
00:16:58,364 --> 00:17:00,164
Well, none of us would have
to deal with Blaine
424
00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:02,833
if someone had taken the management job
425
00:17:02,835 --> 00:17:04,368
when Laurie offered it to her.
426
00:17:04,370 --> 00:17:06,036
- What?
- Uh, wait.
427
00:17:06,038 --> 00:17:07,187
She gave you the job?
428
00:17:07,188 --> 00:17:08,873
No. No.
429
00:17:10,209 --> 00:17:12,376
I mean, technically yes, she did,
430
00:17:12,378 --> 00:17:16,046
but only because I walked in on her
doing something embarrassing.
431
00:17:16,048 --> 00:17:18,215
Let's just say it involved
her nose and cocaine.
432
00:17:18,217 --> 00:17:19,216
What?
433
00:17:19,218 --> 00:17:20,351
Oh, my God!
434
00:17:20,353 --> 00:17:22,720
So you could've had the job,
but you turned it down?
435
00:17:23,088 --> 00:17:25,222
Guys, I'm not going to blackmail my way
436
00:17:25,224 --> 00:17:26,390
into being the manager.
437
00:17:26,392 --> 00:17:28,225
I should get it because I earned it.
438
00:17:28,227 --> 00:17:29,526
Right, just like Blaine earned it
439
00:17:29,528 --> 00:17:31,395
by coming out of the district manager.
440
00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:33,397
He was born into power
like Prince Charles.
441
00:17:33,399 --> 00:17:35,366
At least you're working for it
like Meghan Markle.
442
00:17:35,368 --> 00:17:38,235
Anyway, your blackmail
cancels out his nepotism.
443
00:17:38,237 --> 00:17:39,737
And it'd be a lot better for us.
444
00:17:39,739 --> 00:17:41,789
I mean I rather work for you
than a guy my own age.
445
00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:43,022
Oh, honey.
446
00:17:43,023 --> 00:17:44,909
You got to do what's
for the greater good.
447
00:17:44,911 --> 00:17:46,794
If you could cure cancer,
448
00:17:46,796 --> 00:17:48,796
but you had to blow up
a bus full of children,
449
00:17:49,327 --> 00:17:50,214
wouldn't you do it?
450
00:17:50,216 --> 00:17:52,416
I mean, I guess?
451
00:17:52,418 --> 00:17:53,949
Just take the job.
452
00:17:54,243 --> 00:17:55,252
You're not just doing it for you.
453
00:17:55,254 --> 00:17:56,970
You're doing it for all of us.
454
00:17:57,423 --> 00:17:59,390
I mean, I guess I would be
better than Blaine.
455
00:17:59,392 --> 00:18:01,726
- Yeah.
- Hey Amy, guess what?
456
00:18:02,144 --> 00:18:05,591
One of the kids
on that bus had the cure.
457
00:18:06,599 --> 00:18:07,765
Twist ending.
458
00:18:09,591 --> 00:18:11,708
Okay, well,
maybe prison won't be too bad.
459
00:18:11,710 --> 00:18:14,378
You know, maybe I can be
the guy that tells the warden
460
00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:16,180
that the other guys
are doing bad things
461
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:17,862
and I'll just work my way up.
462
00:18:17,942 --> 00:18:19,895
Glenn, you're not going
to go to prison, okay?
463
00:18:20,082 --> 00:18:22,840
It's fine. We... we
just need to do about...
464
00:18:23,034 --> 00:18:24,833
what, 12 grand worth of damage
465
00:18:24,835 --> 00:18:26,440
- in... in the next hour.
- Oh.
466
00:18:26,441 --> 00:18:28,253
We have fertilizer
in the garden center.
467
00:18:28,255 --> 00:18:28,964
We can make a bomb.
468
00:18:28,965 --> 00:18:30,506
I feel like going from embezzlement
469
00:18:30,507 --> 00:18:32,462
to domestic terrorism
is the wrong direction.
470
00:18:32,463 --> 00:18:34,213
We could hire termites
to eat the store.
471
00:18:34,215 --> 00:18:36,465
- How do you hire termites?
- I don't know, with wood?
472
00:18:36,467 --> 00:18:38,800
Guys, no. No more.
473
00:18:41,272 --> 00:18:43,222
She's been through enough.
474
00:18:48,979 --> 00:18:50,729
Gary Oldman.
475
00:18:51,149 --> 00:18:52,314
Gary Oldman!
476
00:18:52,316 --> 00:18:54,366
Yes, it's Gary Oldman!
477
00:18:54,368 --> 00:18:55,850
Oh!
478
00:18:56,487 --> 00:18:57,869
I don't know who that is.
479
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:06,183
Hey, Laur of the Rings.
480
00:19:06,877 --> 00:19:07,996
Hello, Amy.
481
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,332
Um, I was thinking a little bit more
482
00:19:10,334 --> 00:19:12,467
about... about what you said before,
483
00:19:12,469 --> 00:19:15,003
uh, regarding, you know,
who is a better fit here.
484
00:19:15,005 --> 00:19:16,126
Oh, right.
485
00:19:16,127 --> 00:19:17,723
Yes, except I already told corporate
486
00:19:17,725 --> 00:19:19,300
that I gave the job to Blaine, so...
487
00:19:19,467 --> 00:19:21,579
Oh, okay.
488
00:19:21,826 --> 00:19:23,729
Uh, well, um...
489
00:19:24,035 --> 00:19:27,047
speaking of... of telling things
to corporate,
490
00:19:27,048 --> 00:19:28,483
just wanted to let you know that I...
491
00:19:28,485 --> 00:19:30,519
I haven't said anything to them yet
492
00:19:30,521 --> 00:19:32,354
about the, um...
493
00:19:33,857 --> 00:19:35,173
Cocaína.
494
00:19:36,453 --> 00:19:37,492
That's cocaine.
495
00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:38,709
Right.
496
00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:40,862
Um, thank you.
497
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,532
Uh, you are a very good person.
498
00:19:44,776 --> 00:19:48,253
Well, I mean, am I?
499
00:19:50,494 --> 00:19:51,743
I don't know.
500
00:19:52,002 --> 00:19:54,819
I would just really hate
for corporate to ever find out,
501
00:19:55,512 --> 00:20:00,465
because that would be bad, Laurie-wise.
502
00:20:02,266 --> 00:20:03,385
Are you blackmailing me?
503
00:20:03,779 --> 00:20:06,103
No. No.
504
00:20:06,104 --> 00:20:09,024
God, no. No. Sorry.
505
00:20:09,026 --> 00:20:09,852
Okay.
506
00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:14,563
Okay, yes,
I am blackmailing you!
507
00:20:14,565 --> 00:20:16,398
If you don't give me the job,
I will call corporate
508
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,950
and tell them that you are
a huge [bleep] cokehead.
509
00:20:23,374 --> 00:20:25,741
Really? That's the picture you chose?
510
00:20:25,743 --> 00:20:27,705
I had to blow up the staff photo.
511
00:20:27,730 --> 00:20:29,062
I couldn't find any other photos of you
512
00:20:29,064 --> 00:20:30,864
other than the one
from Cheyenne's wedding,
513
00:20:30,866 --> 00:20:31,948
but with all the hair and makeup,
514
00:20:31,950 --> 00:20:33,366
it looked like you were trying
to be a supermodel.
515
00:20:33,873 --> 00:20:35,368
Yeah. Good call.
516
00:20:35,370 --> 00:20:36,569
I think it looks good,
517
00:20:37,706 --> 00:20:38,509
Boss.
518
00:20:41,994 --> 00:20:44,244
Well, I'm sorry we couldn't
get you all the way.
519
00:20:44,246 --> 00:20:46,046
Yeah, but you tried your best,
520
00:20:46,048 --> 00:20:47,714
and I really appreciate that.
521
00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:49,000
Are you gonna be okay?
522
00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:50,500
Yup, don't worry about me.
523
00:20:50,502 --> 00:20:52,469
Everything's gonna be just fine.
524
00:20:55,474 --> 00:20:57,424
I can't believe he's not freaking out.
525
00:20:57,426 --> 00:20:59,092
Yeah, well, I mean,
526
00:20:59,094 --> 00:21:00,727
once you finally decide
to tell the truth...
527
00:21:00,729 --> 00:21:01,595
wait, what's he...
528
00:21:01,597 --> 00:21:03,430
- Whoa, no, stop!
- No, no, no, no, no!
529
00:21:05,734 --> 00:21:07,017
Oh!
530
00:21:08,237 --> 00:21:09,556
Glenn!
531
00:21:10,322 --> 00:21:11,822
- Oh, my God, Glenn!
- Are you okay?
532
00:21:13,742 --> 00:21:15,358
That ought to cover it, right?
533
00:21:16,361 --> 00:21:19,029
- Yeah, pretty much.
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
534
00:21:19,031 --> 00:21:21,481
Yeah, I thought so.
38409
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