Original subtitles

[sighs] It's gonna be tight for the next few weeks, babe.

[woman] When's it not tight?

We'll be fine. I can get another Centrelink loan in three weeks, I think.

No, you know I don't like doing that.

Just because it's a Centrelink loan,

doesn't mean we're meth heads. Don't be such a snob.

I know, I'm not saying that.

It's just it's embarrassing.

It's not...

There's a big difference between

the dole and family assistance, Shaun.

Anyway, I've got to drop our son at your parents'

and get to work,

so as much as I'd love to stand here stroking your ego,

I've got to go.

Hey, maybe I can get some more photography work

and see if they can pay in cash, yeah?

That's exactly what you should be doing. Taking photos. You're so good, Shaun.

Well, there's nothing I'd rather be doing, but...

I've got a family to provide for.

Firstly, we've got a family to provide for.

Secondly, I can get some more shifts.

So don't worry. Don't let it get to you.

We're happy. We're healthy. We're in love.

Oh, don't forget we've got my parents for dinner tonight.

We're going there.

-Fan-fucking-tastic. -What was that?

I said it sounds horrible.

Actually, I... I can't. I've got a sales meeting on tonight.

What? When were you going to tell me that?

Yeah, I... I'm sorry.

I'll bring you home a plate. Come and say bye to Ethan.

[theme music playing]

[Tess] Hey there. How are you today?

-Not too bad. -In the market for a new TV?

Yeah, time to upgrade.

Bought my last TV last year. It's outdated now.

OK. And you're liking the Samsonic here?

Yeah. Actually, would you mind grabbing a salesman?

I got a few questions about this bad boy.

Oh, I can help you with that.

Are you a salesman?

Well, salesperson. [half-laughs]

Well, do you know anything about these?

Yeah, that's, um... that's my job. [chuckles]

Right.

Cool, um, anyway, so

do you know much about this particular TV?

Yeah, I've done some research,

but why don't you tell me what you know about it.

Go ahead. Sell it to me.

OK, well, as you probably know,

it comes in 42, 50, 55 and 62 inch screens.

It's 4K, but if we're honest,

it's probably a bit overkill for now.

Overkill? 4K is overkill?

-[laughs] -Well, I mean...

barely anything streams in 4K yet,

not even sporting events,

and even if you are watching it, you cannot notice the difference

unless you're inches from the screen.

So you're telling me that techrevive.com.au

is lying when they say that 4K is like an unbridled experience

not just for your eyes, but for all the senses.

Um, look, I probably couldn't comment on that.

It doesn't make sense.

Hey, guys! How are we going?

-At last. Are you a salesman? -I am, mate.

But I also don the 2IC hat at this establishment.

Tess, can I talk to you for a minute?

I'm just in the middle of a sale.

We're gonna let Brett take it from here. Need to talk to you now.

G'day, mate, how are you? You looking at the Samsonic?

Yeah, mate, good, yeah. Looks awesome!

Yeah, mate, she's a beauty. She's 4K in all her glory.

Can't believe you guys let her sell.

-Yeah. -Not bad to look at, though.

Yeah, been there, done that, mate. [blows raspberry]

What the fuck was that, Adam?

Yeah, Tess, when has it ever been OK

to make a customer doubt a product?

-What do you mean? -Well, your general attitude.

4K's overkill?

You know, my attitude

probably came from him being a condescending, sexist prick.

And, Adam, I'm not gonna lie to people just to sell something.

OK, Tess, you're clearly worked up.

Yeah because you embarrassed me and made me look like an idiot.

Tess, I like you, and I get it.

I'm sure it's very awkward for you around here at the moment.

But this might be a good time to have a look inside,

think about the choices you're making

and maybe make a change for the better.

Not to be the best employee, but to be the best you can be.

What is that supposed to mean?

Winston? Brett?

The Christmas party. I'm sure you know what I'm getting at.

No, no, Adam, I don't.

Please, please enlighten me.

Uh, OK, how do I put this delicately?

Um, look, Tess,

work probably isn't the best place to be... finding yourself.

Exploring womanly desires.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Hey, hey, guys, what's going on here?

Oh, Adam was just telling me

how I shouldn't be fucking around the workplace,

weren't you, Adam?

Just let it go, mate. She just needs a minute.

Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow.

It's too hard. I don't want to choose.

I don't want to think about it anymore.

Just pick! It's so easy!

What if I choose neither?

Then they both die.

Fuck!

Come on, dude, just pick.

Look, your mum and your girlfriend have swapped brains,

and you have to bang one for them to swap back.

Excuse me, lads, do you guys actually work here?

Yeah. How are you today?

Yeah, good, but I bought this laptop a few days ago

and it's faulty.

I don't know. It's frozen or something.

OK, well I'll have a quick look.

But if I can't fix it we'll have to send it away.

Well, hopefully, you can work something out.

What were you doing when it froze?

I don't know. Just the normal stuff.

-Hey, honey. -Oh, hey.

You finished shopping already?

I think I was emailing or something, I don't know.

OK, well, I'm having a look here.

I got it!

[woman on laptop moans sexually]

[woman on laptop speaks indistinctly]

[horse neighs]

Oh, that's disgusting!

Oh!

Babe... Babe, wait, it wasn't me.

[moaning and neighing continue]

No, keep it... Keep it open.

OK, so we got the camera, card, protector case,

lenses and warranty is all in there.

Just head to the front and they'll look after ya.

-Thanks, mate. -No worries.

You really know your stuff. Are you a photographer?

-Every chance I get, yeah. -Any good?

Yeah, I think so.

I mean, I make a bit of extra cash on the side. So that's pretty handy.

What are you doing wasting your time here, then?

Oh, I've got a family, so...

So?

So I've got to put them first, mate.

Sorry, mate, I didn't mean to pry,

I just don't know how someone your age

working in retail hasn't killed themself.

Me either.

Mate! Shauny!

Good little sale, that one, mate!

And you got the warranty in there as well.

-[laughs] -Thanks, mate.

Mate, you fired up about tonight?

Head office is sending down a bit of a gun,

so it should be pretty inspiring.

Yeah, should be good, mate.

Let's show them the passion that's in there for selling

and get you one step closer to that promotion.

Yeah, mate, have you heard anything about that?

I'm sort of struggling for cash at the moment,

and it's been on the cards for a while.

Mate, I'm in their ears all the time.

All the time.

Boys, boys, boys, boys! Who's pumped for tonight?

Gonna get some pizzas, maybe a bevvy or two.

What do you reckon, Shaun, close up and have a bevvy or two?

Yeah, sounds good, mate.

Been ages since I've had a bevvy with you, mate.

-We need to do it more. -Yeah, I just been busy, mate.

You know, with family and taking photos and...

Photos? Are you still doing that?

Yeah, I'm still doing it.

[scoffs] Mate, I'd choose bevvies over hobbies any day.

Yeah, it's not really a hobby, though, mate, is it?

Well, it's not really a job, though, is it?

I mean, it doesn't feed the family.

-No, not yet. -Yet?

Oh, forget it.

I like hobbies.

I'd like to see your photos, Shauny.

Yeah, hobbies... hobbies are good.

My only concern is that you could potentially let them

get in the way of work.

That's true.

There's a time for work and a time for play.

OK, guys, cool chat. I gotta go.

OK.

-[both laugh] -Yeah.

It's alright, have a good day, matey.

[sighs]

Why don't Electroworld hire males to be on the counter?

Dunno.

Actually, why don't they hire anyone ugly?

I don't know, I guess they try to make us sexy

to seduce the customers into buying.

-Yeah. -Hey, what are you poofs doing?

-Whoa! -Whoa! Poofs? Really?!

Yeah, what?

I didn't think people still said that these days.

What's... What's wrong with it?

Being gay isn't really a thing anymore.

It's, like, normal.

Mate, whatever floats your boat. I mean, you know,

just between you and me,

I don't mind a bit of a tickle round there. I mean,

nothing more than like a pink-up, though. Nothing more than that.

-[clears throat] -Right.

Oh, fuck me! Tell me what you'd do to that, boys.

Uh, I-I-I think she'd...

Yeah, I think she'd break me.

Who better to try your new

"girls like being treated like shit" style on?

Nah. No.

Yeah, yeah, no, mate, this is perfect.

Man, she loves it. Yeah, I've been there.

What? You've banged Beeanka?

Yeah. What? She's easy.

She's so angry all the time.

She could melt me with her eyeballs if she wanted to.

Hey, mate, it's alright to feel a bit scared, big man.

I'm not scared!

Yeah, actually you're really scared. You look like a child.

-Shut up, the both of you, OK? -Mm-hm.

I'm not scared. I'm cool, calm and collective.

Prove it.

Show us this style that you've been telling us all about...

works on Beeanka.

Yes.

Alright, fine. Watch this.

Oh, this'll be rich.

And he's back.

You pussy out, did ya?

-I don't know what to say. -Oh, OK.

Alright, come here. Come to Brett.

[whispers]

-Thanks. Bye! -Thank you!

'Sup, you bitch?

[mouths words]

Did you grow up on a chicken farm?

What?!

'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.

[laughs]

[giggles]

Oh, Winston, I had no idea you were such a bad boy.

Yeah.

Where have you been hiding this wild side?

Oh, you know,

up my arse.

[laughs]

Oh, and you're so funny too.

You know, we should really hang out more.

I love a bad boy. Don't be a stranger.

Yeah. Yeah. I will not be a stranger.

-Bye. -Bye.

-Bye. -Bye.

-Hm! -Bye.

Oh, my God!

I didn't know you two had a thing!

God, Sarah, as if I'd have a thing with him. Ew.

I was just doing it to fuck with Tess.

[gasps] Nice!

Here we go.

Well?

It worked.

It worked! Yeah!

What did I tell you? Stick with Brett, boys.

Touch wood! Touch wood! There we go!

Alright, see you later, boys. I'm going to TVs.

Thank you! Oh!

I actually needed that.

[knock at door]

Tess, come in.

[scoffs] Great.

Great, so it's not just enough to embarrass me on the floor,

but you have to go and run to Gary to tell on me.

-Tess... -No, I'm sorry, Gary.

But I just... I don't want to hear it.

He was an absolute prick out there today.

Tess! Listen.

Adam told me what happened today...

and what's been going on around here.

And I think something needs to be done about it.

Adam?

[clears throat]

[reads] "Tess...

It has come to my attention that my actions today,

even if they were out of the interest

of what's good for the store, may have come across

in a way that could have caused you to take offence.

Furthermore, as far as your personal life goes,

it is your business and not my place to question that."

And?

And... I'm sorry. Tess.

Good onya, mate!

Now, we good here?

Ha-ha-ha!

Beautiful.

Thanks, mate.

OK, off you go.

-[Tess] Thanks, Gary. -Don't mention it.

You know, the whole thing with Brett is just--

Not mine or anyone else's business.

[Gary] OK?

OK.

And now you better get out there for the sales meeting.

It's gonna be a real cracker.

[laughs]

[Gary] Good onya.

[indistinct chatter]

OK, buddy, well, you make sure

you're a good boy for Nanna and Pop, and have fun.

And I'll see you in the morning, OK?

Yeah. Love you.

Hey, yeah, look, they said it was gonna be an hour,

but you know what these things are like.

I'll, er... Yeah, I'll be home as soon as I can, OK?

Yeah. Love you.

[sighs]

OK, everyone, let's bring it in. Let's bring it in, guys. Let's bring it in.

Come on. Make a 'U'.

OK.

OK, team.

Boy, oh, boy, do we have a treat for you tonight.

Now, this guy needs no introduction,

but I would like to say a few words

as he is somewhat of a personal hero to me.

Now, this sharpshooter sold the most warranties

in the company three years running.

He has a perfect mystery shopper ranking

and worked his way from sales

to store manager to sales trainer

in just under three short years, and now has his sights set

on to become the youngest regional manager

in franchise history.

Ladies and gentlemen,

put your hands together for Chris Woods.

[Chris] Oi!

What the Lord Farquaad is up, you lot?

Man, it's been a long time. How long has it been, man?

It's been a long time. It's been a long time.

There are some familiar faces, Bretty, babe.

And some, er... some new faces.

Alright, guys, I know what you're thinking.

You're all thinking, "Oh, no.

They've sent the complete wanker down from head office

to steal us of our night."

Well, that's what you'd probably be getting...

if they didn't send me down.

-[Adam laughs] -Now come on, guys!

Look, we've got snacks...

Doritos, some Burger Rings.

Let's turn this bitch up to 11! What do you say, huh?

-Whoo! -Alright.

Now, guys, who can tell me...

where we're trying to get to?

Anybody?

How about you, mate?

Er, oh...

[Chris] To...?

To the...

[Spencer stammers]

-[Spencer] To... -To the top!

That's where we're trying to get.

We're trying to get to the top, guys.

Who can tell me how we're gonna get there, huh?

Hmm?

How about you?

Um...

we drive really fast?

-[Gary and Adam laugh] -[Chris laughs] How good is that?

No, ladies and gentlemen, we don't drive.

We take the teamwork train!

Whoo-hoo!

Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga. Toot! Toot!

Come on, guys! Get on board!

Chugga-chugga... Come on, Electroworld! Come on!

[Chris and Adam] Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga!

-Chugga-chugga! -No, seriously, guys.

-Come on. Get on board, guys. -[Adam] Come on! Get around. Come on!

[Chris] Teamwork train ain't leaving

-till the bad boy's full. -[Adam] That's right.

[Chris, Adam and Gary] Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga!

Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga!

Chugga-chugga!

Toot! Toot!

[staff members] Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga...

That's it. That's it. Right around.

Chugga-chugga-chugga. Chugga-chugga-chugga.

Chugga-chugga.

Hoot! Hoot!

Chugga-chugga. Chugga-chugga-chugga.

Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga...

Toot! Toot!

Chugga-chugga-chugga. Chugga-chugga...

-Chug! -Chugga-chugga-chugga.

Alright, dudes.

-Alright, everyone back to... -That's enough.

Yeah, right, right. That's great.

Make a 'U'. Make a 'U'.

There you go, love. Beautiful.

OK. You've had a few. OK.

Alright! Ah!

Thanks, mate.

[coughs] Time for a little bit of sales role-play.

Um, I'm gonna need to get somebody up here

to give me a little bit of a hand.

How about you?

[laughs] I work on the counter.

I don't sell.

OK, back up.

First of all, it's not just working the counter.

You're as much a part of this family as...

..well, er, the top salesman in the region.

And, guys, let's be honest, these are as much life skills...

as they are sales skills.

Now, come on. Get on up. Come on.

Yeah, give her a hand. Good.

Thanks.

Alright, I'm gonna play the customer in this one.

And, er, we'll play out a classic sales situation.

And I'll throw some common responses at you, alright?

-Yep. -Great. Let's do this.

-Excuse me, do you need a hand? -Whoa-ho, Nelly!

Sarah, is it?

Look, never ask a close-ended question, alright?

Ask me again and I'll show you why.

What? Do you need a hand?

No. No, not at all, thanks.

See, just like that, the sale's gone.

Alright, don't be afraid to get the customer chatting, you know?

Alright, show them that you're a real person.

Don't be afraid to get personal.

I like swimming.

OK. That was informative. Very informative.

But let's try something, I don't know...

something a little bit more relevant, yeah?

Cool.

I like watching TVs.

OK, that was relevant. OK, yeah, great.

But, guys, feel free to get a little bit personal,

you know what I'm saying?

-Come on. Personal, personal. -But...

We're gonna get personal, guys. We're all family here.

You gotta get personal.

Open up. Show them the real you, you know what I mean?

Show them the real you. Who are you?

Personal. Be personal to me.

Be personal to the customer.

We're all friends here.

Nobody's judging. You've got to be personal.

Sometimes... sometimes my boyfriend,

he used to shit the bed!

And I used to dream that I was a farmer

and that it was actually cow shit,

but really it was his shit.

OK...

Why don't we get somebody else up, huh?

Hey. Brett, mate, come on up here, mate.

Come on. Everyone give Brett a clap.

Alright, so that is why the customer is always right,

even when they're not, even when they're wrong.

[chuckles]

Alright, guys, so that's it from me tonight.

But please do stick around.

I'd like to, you know, say hi to everybody before I head off.

Even you, Vish.

So, thanks, guys. Thanks for coming down.

-Thank you. -That was fantastic.

Fantastic.

Shauny! Shauny, come over here for a minute.

Shauny, have you met Chris?

Er, yeah, yeah. How are you?

Shane, mate, I've been hearing

some good things happening down here.

Good. Great. I'm trying my best.

Well, that's all we can ask for.

And what Gary's been telling me, mate,

reckon you've got this promotion all locked up.

Oh, fingers crossed, heyl?

-OK, guys. -That's it.

Well, I'd better go.

-Great seeing you again, mate. -Good on you. Thanks, mate.

Take care. Thanks, Chris.

-That was a fantastic night. Fantastic. -Shall we go grab a beer?