Original subtitles

[electronic music playing]

I hate being late for work...

not because I think it's important to be at work on time,

but because I have to pretend that I'm sorry to be late,

which I'm not.

[theme music playing]

Oh, you know what else?

My roster says this shift starts at 8:50

so I'm here in time for a staff meeting,

but I don't actually get paid till 9:00.

[theme music continues]

-So my day consists of-- -[man] Hey, Shauny!

-Here we go. -[laughs]

-Hey, mate. -Hey!

Hey, are you alright?

You've been late a lot lately.

Yeah. Look, Gary, I'm really sorry about that.

I got caught behind an accident.

You should leave early to avoid things like that.

And then if you get into work early,

you can set your department up,

start the day with a bang, brother!

-Bang. -[laughs]

I kinda wanted to bring that up with you.

Yeah.

'Cause we don't actually get paid until 9:00.

Mate, mate, look, head office make the rules.

Now, I'm workin' on it. I'm on your side.

Believe me. I'm workin' on it.

Yeah, but you're still enforcing it, though. You--

Shaun, I like you, mate. I really do.

Your product knowledge is fantastic.

You're great with the customers,

but more so, you're one of the bros, bro.

One of the bros.

But, mate, we're a team here.

I've got to make sure

that we are all travelling in the same direction.

[imitates jet engine]

Anyway, look, forget about that.

What have you got planned for the weekend?

-A bit of a quiet one. -Perfect.

I'll need you for Sunday.

Brett's got something on, so... you cool?

Oh...

-Yeah, yeah. Should be good. -[laughs] Legend!

Pound it.

Legend! [laughs]

Now, mate, get out there and have a huge one.

[laughs] Good on ya, mate.

Damn it! Happens every time.

Rule number one of retail,

always have something planned,

otherwise they'll assume you can work.

-OK, so my day consists of-- -[man] Shaun.

Damn it.

Mate...

uh, what's going on with you lately, hm?

Third time you've been late this week.

Yeah, sorry, I got caught behind an accident.

Well, mate, you should leave with enough time to compensate

if something like that happens, and if you do get here early--

Oh, I can just work for free for half an hour till 9:00am, yeah?

Wow. Uh...

Don't know what to say.

-Yeah, but it's true, isn't it? -Mate, I'm just like you.

You know, we're a team.

-And, you know, head office-- -Oh, my gosh.

Do you guys work off a script or what?

Look, mate, Gary and I go in to bat for you guys all the time,

but head office make the rules.

You know, I've been where you are, but I put my head down,

I worked my arse off and look at me now.

2-fuckin'-IC.

Yep.

OK, mate, just get here on time, mate.

You know that floor manager job's comin' up

and, uh, you're looking good for it.

Also, I'd hate to have to discipline ya.

Discipline me? What, are you joking or...?

No, if I had to, I would.

I mean, for your own good.

Adam, your job description is exactly the same as mine

except for you get keys to close the store

and you've gotta do some filing.

Mate, that's it.

Regardless, you can't...

You can't discipline a grown man.

Shaun, I'm beggin' ya,

please don't make me discipline you.

I like you.

Try it. Go on. Honestly.

On thin ice, Shaun. Thin ice.

Adam, ladies and gentlemen.

Great. So, where was I? Oh, that's right. My day.

My day consists of pacing these aisles, smiling

and selling things to people,

which usually looks like this.

What's your best price on this?

-What's your best price on this? -Can you do any better for cash?

-Can you do any better for cash? -Come on, mate.

I've seen this way cheaper down the road.

I've seen it way cheaper than that.

I do spend a lot of money here.

It's 50 bucks cheaper down the road.

-Can you hurry up? -Mum!

OK, you get the idea.

Now there's the staff.

Like all retail stores,

we have a full range of alpha-male salesmen,

bitchy counter girls and incompetent managers.

This is my nine-to-five,

day in, day out.

Welcome to Electroworld,

or, as I like to call it...

hell.

-Excuse me? -Yes, hello.

-How are you today? -Do you work here?

I've been standing here for half an hour now.

Yes, I do work here. And are you sure about that?

Because I was behind here about 10 minutes ago.

-Are you calling me a liar? -No, not at all.

I was merely stating the fact

that maybe you overestimated the amount of time

that you were waiting here.

But, look, I'm sorry. How can I help you?

Hm. I'd like to return this camera, please.

Yeah, OK.

Yep. I can help you with that. What seems to be the problem?

It doesn't take good pictures.

How so? It's actually a really good camera.

All the photos come out blurry and some are dark.

Right. What were you taking photos of?

My husband and I went away for a weekend

and I was trying to take lots of photos as we drove around

and it all looked terrible.

OK, so when you say "driving around",

you mean you would drive, stop, take a photo?

No, we didn't have time to get out all the time.

What, so you were taking photos when you were driving?

While my husband drove, yes.

Right, that seems to be the problem.

It's really hard to hold these still while you're driving

and get a clear picture.

The camera's not faulty.

Plus, the car's moving as well.

You'd be struggling to get a good shot without a DSLR.

Look, I know how to use a camera and this one isn't working.

OK.

-Smile. -[camera shutter clicks]

Look at that. See?

Clearly in focus.

Well, that only happens sometimes.

Regardless, I want a refund.

It didn't work for the purpose I bought it for.

Look, I'm really sorry,

but we can't give you a refund unless it's faulty.

-It takes blurry pictures. -No, no, no.

Remember, I just took a photo of you.

You just can't take a photo out of a moving vehicle

and expect it to be in focus.

Well, that's false advertising, then.

Where did it say that on the box?

Well, the list of things it can't do

are much longer than what it can do.

How do you mean?

Well, I mean they're not gonna list

all the things that it can't do.

You know, you don't buy a toaster

and then they put on the packaging,

"This toaster won't turn into a car."

-Now you're talking nonsense. -No, I'm not.

I'm stating a fact.

I'm really sorry, but we can't return this

'cause it's not faulty.

I'll take a credit note, then.

It's the same rules apply, sorry.

I'd like to speak to the manager, please.

Yep. OK.

I'll see if he's available.

Hey, have a good one, mate.

Hey, good one getting that warranty.

Sleep soundly knowing you're covered.

-Brett. -Winno, you bastard.

-How are ya? -Brett, hey.

So, uh, you got any girls on the go at the moment?

'Course I do, mate.

What do you think I do at night,

bloody pull my dick or something?

Ha-ha! Good one, Brett. Yeah, yeah. I mean,

I know you were trying to pick up girls here around the store

so I thought you might have been single.

Mate, I'm in my prime fuckin' years, son.

You know, seriously, I can go out, right,

and the young chotch, they think I'm like, this cool older bloke.

I mean, you know, not so old that I'm a dirty old bastard,

but I'm young enough that the old MILFs,

they wanna ride me like a fucking stallion, Winno.

Like a fuckin' stallion.

So, Brett, uh, what's your strategy, then?

Mate, just fuckin' take 'em out the back

and tell 'em you wanna smash 'em.

-For reals? -Yeah, they love that.

-They don't even get offended? -Oh, well, some do.

But they're not gonna suck you off in the dunnies, are they?

-So, who cares? -What, and that's it?

Mate, I don't know. I'm usually pinging off me head, bro.

Wait, is that what you said to... to Tess?

Mate, just told her every single shift,

I wanna take her out the back and smash her.

And then on the Christmas party, yeah.

And Tess went up for it? Seriously?

Oh, mate. Did she ever.

She wanted me to bend her over in the toilets.

-[grunts and chuckles] -Seriously?

-Tess? Seriously?! -Oh, look, mate, I think...

I think I know what this is about, and the answer is yes.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Brett. Sorry, what?

Yes, the Brettinator will be your wingman.

Yes, we're gonna go out and get smashed

and yes, you're gonna drain those little balls, mate.

Just ask if you wanna party, bro.

Um, no, no, no, that's not what I was getting at.

I'm, uh, pretty busy anyway on the weekend.

-Oh, yeah? Yeah, busy when? -Uh...

Pff-tt-tt-tt. Uh, Friday.

[laughs] I was gonna say Saturday.

Sucked in, dickhead. It's on.

Don't be such a pussy.

You know what, Brett? Yes.

Yes, we can go out and yes, yes, yes, I will learn your style.

Attaboy.

Hey, can you look after TVs for a sec?

I gotta go snap off a deuce.

[clears throat] Alright.

Um, sorry, did I just overhear you and Brett

making plans to hang out on Saturday?

Uh... Uh... Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, actually. We're, um...

We're going out to the clubs

and we're going to, um, smash, uh, like, rivers of bitches.

-[chuckles] OK, what are you doing? -Why are you laughing?

This whole attitude just doesn't suit you.

This is the new me, Tess.

I don't see what's wrong with that.

What are you trying to achieve with your new dickhead persona?

I don't know, Tess.

I mean, it got Brett into your pants,

so, uh, maybe I'll get lucky too.

-Tess, I... -Maybe you'll get lucky?

Good one, dickhead. You and Brett deserve each other.

Tess... Tess...

[sighs]

-Hey, Shauny boy. -Hey.

How are you, mate? What's going on?

That lady with the camera?

She's got no receipt, no box and she still wants a refund.

Well, is it in good condition? Is it still working?

Yes! It's ridiculous.

Look, just return it, keep her happy.

-What? -Just return it, keep her happy.

Yeah? No big deal.

But that's not policy, mate.

I pretty much told her there was no way.

Yeah, but, look, I just want us to keep the reputation

of being nice guys.

Like Brett?

Number one sales guy right there.

Thanks, mate.

Finally! Well, how did you go?

Well, I spoke to the manager

and he said just this once, he's happy to give you a refund.

-I knew it. -Can you just grab--

Lucky you spoke to him.

It's incredible, the trouble you have to go to, to get good service.

Yeah, OK, cool. Can you just grab--

Huffing and puffing won't do anything,

and you're lucky I don't get your manager out here and--

Will you shut up?

I'm just following the same rules as everyone else.

I thought this job was gonna be easy,

but it's people like you who think they're royalty

who pooped out a couple of kids

and been on this earth 20 years longer than me

who complicate things.

-Well, I... -"Well, I..."

Blah, blah, blah, blah. What?

You think 'cause I'm wearing this polo shirt

and there's a desk between us that, what,

you have this magical power that excuses you from being a bitch?

Why don't you leave your camera,

go to the front desk and fuck off.

I'm in trouble.

What the fuck is this shit?

It's a return. Come on, mate.

Please don't break my balls. It's Gary's orders, mate.

Yeah, where's the box and the receipt?

Darren, I'm telling you, it's Gary's orders.

Oh. Gary's orders.

Don't bring this shit in here, Shaun!

I know you guys like to prance around out there in fairy land.

Well, in here, the real deal, mate,

we've actually got work to do.

I can't send it back without a receipt.

No, no, no, you don't have to send it back. It's not faulty.

All you have to do is put it through the system

and then put it back on the shelves.

Shaun, why would you bring me a camera that's not broken?

I mean, I like ya, mate, but are you retarded?

I-I just need to return it. Can you just return it?

-Yeah, but it's not broken! -I know it's not broken!

I've been busting my arse for the last hour with this shit.

Can you just return it and put it through the system?

Yeah, no.

No, if Gary authorised it, then he can deal with it.

Darren! Darren!

OK, have a great day.

-See you later. -[phone rings]

-Beeanka, can you just get that? -Sure.

Welcome to Electroworld. This is Beeanka.

How may I direct your call?

OK, I'll put you through to someone in that department now.

Oh, my God. What a bitch?

-Were you here for that? -No! What happened?

Tess was standing at the registers,

not doing anything again, and the phone rings

and she's all, "Oh, Beeanka, can you get the phone?"

Like she thinks she's better than me or something.

Oh, my God! She did that to me yesterday!

Who the hell does she think she is?

I'm gonna say something to her.

She walks around here like she owns the place

and no one says anything, but I see right through her.

And not to mention,

she's all over every single guy in the store.

[scoffs] I know. It's disgusting.

Like, seriously, I think she has a problem.

It's like she thinks she owns you,

and I'm just here, like,

"Excuse me, but did you buy me?

Like, did you buy me off my parents and I didn't know? No?

Well, lose the attitude, bitch,

because no one owns me, so I can't be bought.

I will never be bought."

I reckon she's one of those fat bitches in high school

that gets skinny and then she just thinks

that she can talk to anyone however she likes.

She's gonna come at me, she better be ready for war.

I swear, when she comes back out...

[Tess] Ow.

-Oh, my God! Are you OK? -I just cut my finger a bit.

Oh, let me see. You need to be careful, babe.

Yeah, well, it's fine, honestly.

But, like, I'm sorry if I felt a little bit pushy before.

I just.. I really needed to pee

and so I didn't really wanna get stuck on the phone,

so thank God she was there to save me.

[laughs]

What? Oh, you mean the phone thing?

Oh, don't be silly, babe. My God, no.

As if I'd think anything like that.

OK, good. Well, I just wanted to make sure, but

I just need to get a bandaid. So I'll just be back in a second.

Yeah, it's fine. Take your time. It's quiet anyway.

[Tess] Thanks.

-Oh. My. God. -I know.

What a suck-up!

She so clearly saw us talking about her

and made up this elaborate scheme to lie her way out of it.

I know!

I don't know about you, but I did not see any blood

when she hurt herself.

She must have planned this whole thing

just to feel like she had one up on me.

Pathetic.

-It's a Margherita. -Mmm.

-It's from Italy. -They're good, aren't they?

Yeah, you've just got a bit of... Can I just...?

-Mm. Mmm. -[knocking on door]

-Here he is now. -Shaun, mate.

-[Shaun] Hey. -I've been looking for you.

Gary, hey. I won't be long.

I was hoping I could leave the camera here.

Darren said he'd slit my throat and bone it if I left it there.

Darren's the least of your worries, mate.

Sorry, are we role-playing a bad cop movie from the '80s or...?

-No. -OK, that's awkward.

Shaun, what happened today with that woman is unacceptable.

I was shocked, but more disappointed.

-You heard. -Everyone heard.

Gary, if you're gonna drill me about this, can he not be here?

He has to be here, Shaun, to witness.

-Witness what? -It's strike one.

We've got you this time. I told you, you were on thin ice.

What is he even talkin' about?

I have to give you a written warning.

-Seriously? -That's your first of three.

Three written warnings is instant dismissal.

Well, what do you want me to do?

-We all have to sign. -Gladly.

Just there where it says 'Shaun'.

Yes. Thank you, Adam.

-OK, there. Done. Happy? -Pretty much.

Oh, I want you to write a apology letter to the lady.

No.

It's non-negotiable, Shaun.

Gary, this is bullshit. I'm not apologising to her.

She was a crusty old bitch.

You should be glad this is all you're getting, mate.

Adam, Adam, can I ask you a serious question?

-Fire away. -Why do you even care?

This has got nothing to do with you, mate.

Because you're poisoning my store

and soiling the good name of my company.

You don't actually own this company.

Neither do I, neither does Gary.

Gary runs it, so I understand why he's pissed off,

but you, I think you're just trying to create a bit of drama.

Shaun, it's Adam's store.

It's your store. It's all our store.

What does that even mean? How is it my store?

Would I be getting a written warning if it was my store?

Gary, you really effed me in the butt today.

I was following store procedure and you told me to break it,

and I was exercising a human right

to not get treated like a pile of poop.

And now... now you want me to apologise to her?

And you hit me with all this teamwork crap?

Yeah, man. Cool team!

Brother, I know it looks like that,

and I do apologise,

but there's some good news coming out of this.

Head office still likes you for that promotion that's coming up.

-Are you serious? -Look, everyone has off days.

Everyone.

If you apologise, all will be forgotten,

and you'll be moving up the chain of command, mate.

Yep.

Are we good, mate? My man.

There it is.

Oh. Oh, hoo!

Sorry to get so fired up.

I just...

I guess I'm just passionate about my team and my bros.

You know all brothers get into scraps, don't they, Gary?

Yeah, I guess it's just part of being in a family, eh?

Anyway. Look, it's almost knock-off time.

What do you say, mate?

Can you whip up that apology letter tonight

and bring it in tomorrow?

Yes.

Good man! Good man!

[Gary] Good on you, mate. Fantastic, Shauny.

See you, Shauny. [chuckles]

[sighs]

I gotta tell you, mate,

I hate the feeling before these heavy meetings.

I love it afterwards when you get it all out in the open.

-Makes you feel so much better. -I know what you mean.

I feel... [shivers] Yeah.

Good on you, mate. [chuckles]

-[chair squeaks] -Mmm.

[sighs]

Mmm.

[reflective music playing]

Oh, yeah, I get it. I know what you're saying.

If I hate my job that much, why don't I just leave?

Why bitch about something that I do nothin' about?

I don't leave because I have no qualifications

or experience in any other field.

It's not as if I could just go out

and get myself an awesome job.

I'm stuck there and I hate it.

But at least it keeps a roof over my family's head.