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0
00:02:38,371 --> 00:02:39,633
-Hi.
-Hello.
1
00:02:41,608 --> 00:02:44,133
-You awake yet?
-No,
2
00:02:44,678 --> 00:02:47,772
but l will be
as soon as you give me another kiss.
3
00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:53,317
Sam, the kids'll be pounding at the door
any minute,
4
00:02:53,386 --> 00:02:57,015
and besides,
my mother is coming to take them to camp.
5
00:02:58,024 --> 00:03:01,858
-Sam.
-Hello, Mommy. Hello, Daddy.
6
00:03:02,395 --> 00:03:03,828
Good morning, Mommy.
7
00:03:03,897 --> 00:03:08,493
You're supposed to knock.
Go outside, girls, close the door and knock.
8
00:03:12,339 --> 00:03:14,330
-Can we come in?
-No.
9
00:03:14,407 --> 00:03:17,774
Silly old Sam. Come on, babies. Come on.
10
00:03:18,512 --> 00:03:20,241
How are my babies?
11
00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:21,971
-You smell so good.
-Their energy is beyond belief.
12
00:03:22,048 --> 00:03:23,606
-Mom?
-Give me a big fat kiss.
13
00:03:23,683 --> 00:03:24,809
Hello, Daddy.
14
00:03:24,885 --> 00:03:26,045
Sam, l'll put on the coffee.
15
00:03:26,119 --> 00:03:29,020
Jenna, you wanna help me with the knives
and forks and raisin bread?
16
00:03:29,089 --> 00:03:30,681
Hooray for camp.
17
00:03:35,495 --> 00:03:37,087
Good morning, Mrs. Bissell.
18
00:03:37,163 --> 00:03:39,154
-What a beautiful day, isn't it?
-Morning, Mrs. Bissell.
19
00:03:39,232 --> 00:03:40,256
Hi.
20
00:03:46,873 --> 00:03:50,001
-Hey, good morning, Harry. How are you?
-Fine, fine.
21
00:03:53,346 --> 00:03:54,870
Shut up, will you!
22
00:03:58,251 --> 00:03:59,912
-All right.
-ls everything okay?
23
00:03:59,986 --> 00:04:02,113
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24
00:04:03,123 --> 00:04:05,250
All right, be quiet, will you?
25
00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:16,559
Sam! Sam!
26
00:04:17,837 --> 00:04:20,431
Sam! Hey, Sam, you awake in there?
27
00:04:21,308 --> 00:04:23,606
For heaven's... Yeah.
28
00:04:25,812 --> 00:04:26,938
Sam?
29
00:04:28,281 --> 00:04:30,340
-What?
-Hiya. Morning, Sam.
30
00:04:30,884 --> 00:04:35,048
Hey, l just returned your lawnmower.
Thanks a lot. And your duck.
31
00:04:35,121 --> 00:04:37,919
That thing got loose again.
You know what happened?
32
00:04:37,991 --> 00:04:42,621
This duck got stuck in our breakfast nook
with no one to talk to but my wife.
33
00:04:42,829 --> 00:04:44,592
l know exactly how it feels, baby.
34
00:04:44,664 --> 00:04:48,600
The same thing happened to me once.
Hey, Sam, about your lawnmower.
35
00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:51,432
Very much appreciate it
if you'd get your cutter blade sharpened
36
00:04:51,504 --> 00:04:53,301
by next weekend, okay, pal?
37
00:04:55,408 --> 00:04:56,739
You need a ride downtown?
38
00:04:57,010 --> 00:04:59,535
Min is gonna take me down. Thanks, Earl.
39
00:04:59,613 --> 00:05:02,514
All right.
Well, see you at the office later, pal.
40
00:05:07,454 --> 00:05:08,751
And don't go
without your shoes and stockings.
41
00:05:08,822 --> 00:05:10,312
-lt may get cold.
-Well, she's done it again, Jenna.
42
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:13,359
Listen, honey,
this is about the fifth time l've told you.
43
00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:15,326
When you let Gretchen out in the morning
to play with her,
44
00:05:15,395 --> 00:05:18,489
-put her back in the pen. Now, not again.
-lt won't happen again.
45
00:05:18,565 --> 00:05:22,729
Sweetie, l didn't have time to fix your eggs.
l will as soon as l get this stuff packed.
46
00:05:22,802 --> 00:05:26,203
-Denise, let your grandmother in, honey.
-Okay.
47
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:28,766
That's a lot of stuff
for those two kids to be taking to camp.
48
00:05:28,842 --> 00:05:30,332
-l know, but they need clothes.
-Hello, Grandma.
49
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:31,434
And they gotta have all their toys.
50
00:05:31,511 --> 00:05:32,739
-Hello.
-Hi, Mother.
51
00:05:32,812 --> 00:05:36,873
Hi, Min. My goodness,
they're taking all that to camp?
52
00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:39,215
-Hello, Sam.
-Edna.
53
00:05:39,285 --> 00:05:40,912
Not dressed yet?
54
00:05:40,987 --> 00:05:43,683
Hi, Mother. Gee, it's sweet of you
to take the kids to camp.
55
00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:45,884
-l've gotta go to the airport to pick up...
-Hello, Grandma.
56
00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:47,324
Hello.
57
00:05:48,161 --> 00:05:49,958
-What were you saying?
-l've gotta go to the airport
58
00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:52,260
to pick up this old school chum of mine,
Janet Lagerlof.
59
00:05:52,332 --> 00:05:54,323
She's coming in from Europe this morning.
60
00:05:54,401 --> 00:05:56,869
-How's Sam getting to work?
-Well, l'm gonna take him to the office.
61
00:05:56,936 --> 00:05:59,496
He can ride home with Earl.
Here's some coffee.
62
00:05:59,572 --> 00:06:00,903
Come on, babies, eat your cereal.
63
00:06:00,974 --> 00:06:02,771
Drink all your juice
or you're not going to camp.
64
00:06:08,815 --> 00:06:10,806
Sam's made another one, huh?
65
00:06:10,884 --> 00:06:15,446
For the life of me, l can't understand
why Sam builds these silly things.
66
00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:20,824
He enjoys it, Mother. That's reason enough.
Sam's building a big mobile out in the patio.
67
00:06:22,629 --> 00:06:24,824
Where the neighbors can see it?
68
00:06:28,401 --> 00:06:30,164
For heaven's sake.
69
00:06:31,037 --> 00:06:34,495
-You like it?
-Like it? What the hell is it?
70
00:06:34,574 --> 00:06:39,034
lt's free-form sculpture, like my others.
Only this is a masterpiece.
71
00:06:39,112 --> 00:06:40,875
And when we have guests,
they can sit in the living room
72
00:06:40,947 --> 00:06:43,074
and watch it move from there.
73
00:06:44,284 --> 00:06:46,684
-You want me to turn it on for you?
-No, thank you.
74
00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:48,448
lsn't that Jenna's old bicycle frame in there?
75
00:06:48,521 --> 00:06:51,684
-Well, yeah.
-And there's part of Min's sewing machine.
76
00:06:51,758 --> 00:06:54,625
Yeah, well, you see, you're supposed
to enjoy this as a total entity.
77
00:06:54,694 --> 00:06:56,719
You're not supposed to try and pick out
individual parts.
78
00:06:56,796 --> 00:06:58,195
-That's not the idea.
-l see.
79
00:06:58,264 --> 00:07:02,633
See, the idea of found-object sculpture
is to find beauty and enjoyment
80
00:07:02,702 --> 00:07:05,262
out of an arrangement
of ordinary, everyday objects.
81
00:07:05,338 --> 00:07:07,772
Sam, dear,
if fooling with junk makes you happy,
82
00:07:07,841 --> 00:07:11,607
then l say do it,
no matter what anyone says.
83
00:07:11,678 --> 00:07:14,010
-Thank you.
-Mother, you haven't finished your coffee.
84
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,106
Thank you, darling.
We were just discussing Sam's junkyard.
85
00:07:17,183 --> 00:07:20,482
lsn't it wonderful?
Sam is so clever with his hands.
86
00:07:20,553 --> 00:07:23,215
l just love it. Sam, it's a real work of art.
87
00:07:23,289 --> 00:07:27,055
l don't know a thing about art.
l just know what l don't like.
88
00:07:27,127 --> 00:07:29,288
She didn't mean it.
Mother, why do you say those things?
89
00:07:29,362 --> 00:07:31,227
Will you help me get the kids ready?
90
00:07:35,902 --> 00:07:37,426
-Who asked you?
-Sam!
91
00:07:37,504 --> 00:07:40,564
Honey, it's time to kiss them goodbye.
They're ready.
92
00:07:42,408 --> 00:07:44,137
-Jenna, that's not nice.
-Goodbye, kids.
93
00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:45,541
-There, honey, you look fine.
-Give me a kiss.
94
00:07:45,612 --> 00:07:47,136
-You look real sweet.
-Be a good girl there.
95
00:07:47,213 --> 00:07:48,237
-Bye-bye, darling.
-Goodbye, honey.
96
00:07:48,314 --> 00:07:49,713
-Okay, in you get.
-Goodbye, Sam.
97
00:07:49,783 --> 00:07:50,807
-Be good girls, now.
-Be careful, now.
98
00:07:50,884 --> 00:07:52,181
-Do everything the counselors tell you.
-We will.
99
00:07:52,252 --> 00:07:54,277
-And have fun 'cause it costs a fortune.
-Don't lose your dolly.
100
00:07:54,354 --> 00:07:56,515
Watch your leg. Okay. Goodbye, Edna.
101
00:07:56,589 --> 00:07:58,250
-Drive slowly, will you, please?
-Bye-bye.
102
00:07:58,324 --> 00:07:59,313
-Bye.
-Bye.
103
00:08:00,527 --> 00:08:02,791
l tell you, there's nothing like
a good old-fashioned grandmother
104
00:08:02,862 --> 00:08:04,591
for the kids to remember.
105
00:08:05,799 --> 00:08:08,029
Now, come on, dear. l gotta get dressed.
You gotta get dressed.
106
00:08:08,101 --> 00:08:09,864
l'm late for work.
107
00:08:16,276 --> 00:08:19,177
l can't tell you how excited l am
about seeing Janet again.
108
00:08:19,245 --> 00:08:22,373
lt's been l don't know how many years
since l've seen her.
109
00:08:22,448 --> 00:08:24,245
She has a marvelous accent, Sam.
110
00:08:24,317 --> 00:08:26,182
She was raised in Europe
and came over here for college.
111
00:08:26,252 --> 00:08:27,981
That's how we met.
112
00:08:28,054 --> 00:08:31,615
Sam, would you mind
if l brought her home for dinner tonight?
113
00:08:31,691 --> 00:08:32,885
Sam?
114
00:08:33,493 --> 00:08:35,085
Sam, have you heard
anything l've been saying?
115
00:08:35,161 --> 00:08:37,356
Do you realize
that l've been in the same traffic jam,
116
00:08:37,430 --> 00:08:40,524
going to the same job
every day for six years,
117
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,397
and so have they?
118
00:08:43,536 --> 00:08:45,060
Every day, all the husbands, we get up
119
00:08:45,138 --> 00:08:47,663
and we take the same road
into the same job.
120
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:51,176
We even dress alike.
We put on the gray suit and the hat
121
00:08:51,244 --> 00:08:55,681
and that button-down shirt
and the tie and the... lt's like sheep.
122
00:08:56,549 --> 00:08:58,380
Sam, that's not true.
123
00:08:58,451 --> 00:09:01,352
You're not like anybody else.
And you're not a sheep.
124
00:09:01,421 --> 00:09:04,481
You've got character. And l love you.
125
00:09:07,193 --> 00:09:09,525
l wonder what's holding them up?
126
00:09:19,405 --> 00:09:21,532
Sam, did you say something?
127
00:09:27,847 --> 00:09:29,337
Here we go.
128
00:09:47,066 --> 00:09:48,761
Well, l'm off to the airport, honey.
See you tonight.
129
00:09:48,835 --> 00:09:52,965
-Yeah, goodbye, dear.
-Sam, are you depressed about something?
130
00:09:54,641 --> 00:09:59,010
No, l'm just bored, l guess, going to work.
131
00:09:59,579 --> 00:10:02,377
You know, it's the same job
and the same people, the same faces
132
00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:05,645
and the same community pigpen
for an office,
133
00:10:05,718 --> 00:10:08,846
doing the same stupid layouts
for the same stupid ads, and the...
134
00:10:08,922 --> 00:10:14,189
Sam, we do have two beautiful children,
and we have to make a home for them.
135
00:10:14,260 --> 00:10:17,320
l know that. lt's just one of those days
and don't worry about it
136
00:10:17,397 --> 00:10:20,298
-'cause l'm gonna be all right. Goodbye.
-Goodbye. ls Earl gonna drive you home?
137
00:10:20,366 --> 00:10:22,197
Yeah. Goodbye, dear.
138
00:10:25,204 --> 00:10:27,172
-Morning, Min.
-Hi, Earl.
139
00:10:27,473 --> 00:10:28,633
-Hi.
-Hi, Sam.
140
00:10:28,708 --> 00:10:31,199
-Have a good day, honey.
-Bye, dear.
141
00:10:38,818 --> 00:10:41,343
-Hey, Phil, what's in the papers?
-Help yourself.
142
00:10:41,421 --> 00:10:43,480
Obviously, we weren't
watching the same show.
143
00:10:43,556 --> 00:10:46,923
Come on, now. Let's not be foolish about it.
Let's go.
144
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,659
-Morning, boys.
-Morning, Mr. Burke.
145
00:10:56,736 --> 00:10:58,067
-Morning, Sonny.
-Morning, Mr. Burke.
146
00:10:58,137 --> 00:10:59,502
-Morning, Larry.
-Morning, Mr. Burke.
147
00:10:59,572 --> 00:11:00,834
-Morning, Earl.
-Morning, Mr. Burke.
148
00:11:00,907 --> 00:11:02,738
-Morning, Phil.
-Morning, Mr. Burke.
149
00:11:02,809 --> 00:11:04,003
Morning.
150
00:11:05,244 --> 00:11:07,804
-Name?
-Bissell. Art Department.
151
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,472
Morning, Bissell.
152
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:12,942
Good morning, Mr. Burke.
153
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,011
Larry, l looked at that draft last night.
154
00:11:27,367 --> 00:11:28,959
-Good morning, Mr. Burke.
-Good morning, Marsha.
155
00:11:29,035 --> 00:11:30,502
-Morning, Marsha.
-Good morning, everybody.
156
00:11:30,570 --> 00:11:32,162
-Morning, Mr. Blatchford.
-Morning.
157
00:11:32,238 --> 00:11:34,297
Morning, Mr. Boling. Good morning, Sam.
158
00:11:34,374 --> 00:11:36,706
Boys, boys. Just one moment, please.
159
00:11:36,776 --> 00:11:40,644
Now, let's all stay on the ball today,
shall we?
160
00:11:40,713 --> 00:11:44,479
Now, Mr. Nurdlinger is coming in
for a look-see at our billboard campaign,
161
00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:46,211
-as you know.
-Yes.
162
00:11:46,285 --> 00:11:49,652
Now what we want to do is
to edge him in with the billboard campaign,
163
00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:53,488
and then later,
we'll slip him into some nice TV spots,
164
00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,960
like our Hertz
''man in the driver's seat'' commercials.
165
00:11:58,131 --> 00:12:00,292
All right, let's give him a good show today,
shall we?
166
00:12:00,366 --> 00:12:01,355
We're ready for him, sir.
167
00:12:01,434 --> 00:12:03,402
-The red carpet all the way, Mr. Burke.
-No problems, Chief.
168
00:12:03,469 --> 00:12:05,266
Thank you, boys. Thank you. Good morning.
169
00:12:05,338 --> 00:12:06,896
-Good morning, Gloria.
-Good morning, Mr. Burke.
170
00:12:09,642 --> 00:12:12,475
-Good morning, girls.
-Morning, Mr. Bissell.
171
00:12:22,688 --> 00:12:24,781
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
172
00:12:31,831 --> 00:12:34,391
All right, fellows, we're going for a take.
Now settle down.
173
00:12:34,467 --> 00:12:37,027
Freeze off back there, please.
No walking around.
174
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:38,661
Close that big door over there,
will you, please?
175
00:12:38,738 --> 00:12:41,263
-Dave, you ready up there?
-You ready, Bob?
176
00:12:41,808 --> 00:12:44,003
-Okay, roll it, please.
-Roll it, Jim.
177
00:12:44,077 --> 00:12:45,442
Here you go, Stu.
178
00:12:46,312 --> 00:12:47,472
And action.
179
00:12:47,547 --> 00:12:51,210
Here we go. Two bars for nothing.
One, two, one, two, three.
180
00:12:51,284 --> 00:12:55,414
Let Hertz put you in the driver's seat
181
00:12:56,489 --> 00:13:00,949
Let Hertz take you anywhere at all
182
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:05,822
By the hour, by the day
By the week or any way
183
00:13:05,898 --> 00:13:10,926
Just let Hertz put you in the driver's seat
184
00:13:12,338 --> 00:13:15,671
-Let Hertz put you...
-No! Cut!
185
00:13:15,741 --> 00:13:17,641
What are you doing up there, you bum?
186
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:20,736
Listen, boss, this is the best l can do.
l can't do any better than that.
187
00:13:20,813 --> 00:13:23,441
-Put him in the driver's seat.
-That's the first one l've dropped all year.
188
00:13:24,784 --> 00:13:27,548
Dave, l'm very sorry. Next time...
189
00:13:32,892 --> 00:13:34,917
-Testing, one, two, three.
-Okay, how are those wires up there?
190
00:13:37,263 --> 00:13:38,958
l'm sorry l'm late, Mr. Verneer.
191
00:13:39,031 --> 00:13:42,023
-Vernier.
-Vernier, yeah. Kids, camp...
192
00:13:42,101 --> 00:13:43,591
-Hi, Sam.
-Hi.
193
00:13:43,669 --> 00:13:45,534
-Hello, Sam.
-Hi, guys.
194
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:08,788
Now just imagine,
if you will, Mr. Nurdlinger,
195
00:14:08,861 --> 00:14:12,729
those signs blown up on your billboards
20 times over,
196
00:14:12,798 --> 00:14:15,198
and look how effective they are
with the lights on them.
197
00:14:15,268 --> 00:14:17,600
Sonny, l'd like to congratulate you
on the artwork. lt was brilliant.
198
00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:22,573
-lt grabs me, if l'm any judge.
-Darn good commercial empathy there.
199
00:14:22,642 --> 00:14:25,611
Thank you. l felt it was simple
and punched across our point.
200
00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:29,136
''For the masculine way of life,
Nurdlinger eggs.''
201
00:14:29,215 --> 00:14:31,274
You know, what it has?
lt's got just the right curve.
202
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:35,252
We imply it without actually
hitting them over the head with it.
203
00:14:35,321 --> 00:14:38,813
You see, Mr. Nurdlinger,
what we're gearing up to here
204
00:14:38,891 --> 00:14:41,917
is to touch
that psychological nerve in all men,
205
00:14:41,994 --> 00:14:45,521
the symbol of masculinity and fertility,
the egg!
206
00:14:45,598 --> 00:14:48,294
-You know, Harve, l like it.
-Well thought out.
207
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,198
Hey, l don't know about you fellows,
208
00:14:50,269 --> 00:14:53,966
but after seeing this,
l'm gonna have eggs for lunch.
209
00:14:59,712 --> 00:15:03,011
He's going to have eggs for lunch.
That's rich, Phil. That's rich.
210
00:15:04,717 --> 00:15:07,948
Well, sir, what do you think?
211
00:15:19,198 --> 00:15:21,758
-You want to know what l think?
-Yes.
212
00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:29,173
l think it's an abomination. Pure filth.
l'm not a prudish man, sir,
213
00:15:29,642 --> 00:15:32,236
but l believe that the Almighty gave us
good, clean, married, conjugal love
214
00:15:32,311 --> 00:15:37,408
for the purpose of raising families,
not to sell eggs with dirty, salacious ads!
215
00:15:37,483 --> 00:15:43,046
Unchastity, venery,
wenching and fleshly lust.
216
00:15:43,122 --> 00:15:44,589
ls that the image
that you have of my company?
217
00:15:44,657 --> 00:15:46,750
-Certainly not...
-Look at that bustline!
218
00:15:46,826 --> 00:15:49,522
Harlots and popinjays to sell eggs?
219
00:15:49,595 --> 00:15:52,029
l tell you what l think of you.
l think you're all rotten to the core,
220
00:15:52,098 --> 00:15:54,089
and l think
l've chosen the wrong advertising agency.
221
00:15:54,166 --> 00:15:57,658
Just a minute, Mr. Nurdlinger!
We are all good, clean, family men here.
222
00:15:57,737 --> 00:16:02,367
Now don't try to fool me, sir.
l'm an old man but l'm nobody's fool, sir.
223
00:16:02,441 --> 00:16:05,842
Good clean-living family men.
Miss Halverson.
224
00:16:07,079 --> 00:16:10,606
l've run checks
on you clean-living family men.
225
00:16:11,183 --> 00:16:13,447
There are dossiers on each of you.
226
00:16:13,519 --> 00:16:19,890
Mr. Blatchford, Mr. Reisner,
Mr. Trilling, Mr. Burke.
227
00:16:21,961 --> 00:16:25,328
Mr. Boling,
the Nurdlinger account executive.
228
00:16:26,165 --> 00:16:29,362
Little trips to Oakland
twice a week, Mr. Boling?
229
00:16:29,435 --> 00:16:31,232
-Young secretary named...
-Now, see here...
230
00:16:31,304 --> 00:16:34,637
lt's all here. All of you just as bad,
231
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:38,799
libertinism and liquor,
impurity and wantonness.
232
00:16:40,212 --> 00:16:41,611
Well, no, thank you, sir.
233
00:16:41,681 --> 00:16:44,206
We're good, clean, family men
at Nurdlinger Farms,
234
00:16:44,283 --> 00:16:48,447
and l won't have our company represented
by bawds and lechers and libertines.
235
00:16:48,521 --> 00:16:49,818
Come along.
236
00:16:52,058 --> 00:16:55,516
Mr. Nurdlinger, we are quite flexible.
Now that we have the true picture...
237
00:16:55,594 --> 00:16:57,084
That was just one of a dozen good ideas.
238
00:16:57,163 --> 00:16:59,723
We could animate some eggs,
Mr. Nurdlinger.
239
00:17:00,099 --> 00:17:02,260
Mr. Nurdlinger, we're very flexible.
240
00:17:02,335 --> 00:17:04,826
Please, sir, give us another chance
now that we've got the true picture.
241
00:17:04,904 --> 00:17:07,600
l don't want that dirty man
on my advertising account.
242
00:17:07,673 --> 00:17:09,573
Mr. Nurdlinger,
you can have anyone you want.
243
00:17:09,642 --> 00:17:13,840
We have a whole office full of good,
upright, clean-living family men, sir.
244
00:17:13,913 --> 00:17:17,110
You wouldn't recognize
a clean-living family man if you saw one.
245
00:17:17,183 --> 00:17:20,016
-We're very flexible.
-Mr. Nurdlinger, give us another crack at it.
246
00:17:20,086 --> 00:17:23,055
Mr. Nurdlinger,
we are nothing if not facile here.
247
00:17:23,122 --> 00:17:26,580
Mister... Mister... Mister... Mister...
248
00:17:26,659 --> 00:17:28,991
Just one more chance.
249
00:17:29,428 --> 00:17:32,556
l am not going to take this lying down.
250
00:17:32,932 --> 00:17:38,268
There is a $600,000 account at stake.
Now, please, come up with somebody.
251
00:17:39,338 --> 00:17:43,866
There must be someone
in this whole, vast organization
252
00:17:43,943 --> 00:17:46,002
who can pass moral muster.
253
00:17:46,379 --> 00:17:52,181
A good husband, a good neighbor,
a normal, everyday family man.
254
00:17:58,157 --> 00:18:02,150
-Yes, what is it, Bissell?
-Mr. Verneer, l've come to a decision.
255
00:18:02,228 --> 00:18:04,594
-Vernier.
-Mr. Vernier, l've come to a decision.
256
00:18:04,663 --> 00:18:07,598
l will have been here six years
as of next week.
257
00:18:07,666 --> 00:18:09,998
l've been pretty patient
about waiting for a promotion.
258
00:18:10,069 --> 00:18:12,503
l just feel l'm not getting anywhere
with my career.
259
00:18:12,571 --> 00:18:14,402
Take it up with personnel.
260
00:18:14,473 --> 00:18:18,000
Well, l've made my mind up.
l wanna talk to Mr. Burke.
261
00:18:19,278 --> 00:18:21,337
You must be sick, Bissell.
262
00:18:21,414 --> 00:18:25,043
Nobody talks directly to Mr. Burke
about a promotion.
263
00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:31,085
Hello. Oh, yes. Yes, sir. Who?
264
00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:33,219
Mr, Bissell is here, sir,
265
00:18:33,292 --> 00:18:35,692
Send him right in, Gloria.
What's his first name?
266
00:18:35,761 --> 00:18:37,023
-Sam.
-Sam.
267
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,199
-Hello, Sam.
-Hi, pal.
268
00:18:42,268 --> 00:18:43,895
-How are you, boy?
-How's the family, Sam?
269
00:18:43,969 --> 00:18:46,460
-We're fine, sir.
-Sam, l've just been telling old Harve,
270
00:18:46,539 --> 00:18:51,806
Mr. Burke, all about you and Min
and the kids and the ducks
271
00:18:52,278 --> 00:18:54,803
and those crazy things,
you know, you build.
272
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,110
Junk sculpture. lt's sort of a hobby of mine.
273
00:18:57,183 --> 00:18:59,708
Better than some of the hobbies
l could mention around here.
274
00:18:59,785 --> 00:19:01,377
Sam, won't you sit down?
275
00:19:01,454 --> 00:19:03,649
-Sit down, Sam.
-Thank you, sir.
276
00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:08,719
Now, let's talk a little cold turkey.
277
00:19:10,062 --> 00:19:13,793
Sam, what we have here at Burke & Hare,
278
00:19:13,899 --> 00:19:18,768
is nothing if not a completely
democratic type of organization.
279
00:19:19,104 --> 00:19:23,541
You see, we like to help young people
do bigger things.
280
00:19:23,609 --> 00:19:26,339
So, l said to the fellows,
281
00:19:27,513 --> 00:19:32,041
''Fellows, let's look around
for a young, energetic,
282
00:19:32,985 --> 00:19:35,920
''clean-living, family-type,
283
00:19:35,988 --> 00:19:39,151
''nice fellow to head up
the Nurdlinger Dairy accounts.''
284
00:19:39,225 --> 00:19:44,322
And, Sam, l'll bet you a dollar to a donut
you can't guess who we came up with.
285
00:19:45,297 --> 00:19:46,321
Who?
286
00:19:46,866 --> 00:19:49,562
Mr. Nurdlinger? This is Sam Bissell.
287
00:19:49,635 --> 00:19:51,034
-How do you do, Mr. Bissell?
-How do you do, sir?
288
00:19:51,103 --> 00:19:54,197
Show Mr. Nurdlinger
those snapshots of your children, Sam.
289
00:19:54,273 --> 00:19:55,535
Yeah.
290
00:19:59,512 --> 00:20:03,414
That's Denise and there's Jenna. Our duck.
291
00:20:04,049 --> 00:20:06,210
-You keep ducks?
-Yes, he loves animals.
292
00:20:06,285 --> 00:20:08,810
Dogs, cats, ducks, you name it.
293
00:20:08,888 --> 00:20:12,619
His whole life revolves around his family
and that duck.
294
00:20:12,691 --> 00:20:15,387
Now don't try
and pull anything over on me, sir.
295
00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:17,324
l'll have him investigated, too.
296
00:20:17,796 --> 00:20:20,458
This is the genuine article, Mr. Nurdlinger.
297
00:20:20,533 --> 00:20:22,000
A good husband, good neighbor,
298
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:25,127
a clean-living family man
if you ever met one.
299
00:20:25,971 --> 00:20:30,032
Well, come along, Bissell.
We'll give you the indoctrination tour.
300
00:20:30,509 --> 00:20:31,874
Go ahead, Sam.
301
00:20:32,578 --> 00:20:35,911
Takes about five minutes
to milk the average cow.
302
00:20:35,981 --> 00:20:38,677
Milk flows through
those stainless steel tubes
303
00:20:38,751 --> 00:20:42,380
into the holding tanks,
then it's pasteurized and bottled
304
00:20:42,454 --> 00:20:44,649
without human hands touching it.
305
00:20:44,723 --> 00:20:46,657
Now, that's the image we want to convey.
306
00:20:46,725 --> 00:20:50,855
A responsible firm
dealing in a wholesome, superior product.
307
00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:53,330
l don't pretend to know anything
about advertising,
308
00:20:53,399 --> 00:20:55,458
but what l can do
is to give you a true picture
309
00:20:55,534 --> 00:20:57,195
of what our company stands for.
310
00:20:57,269 --> 00:21:02,002
We're plain, everyday people
dealing in a plain, clean, everyday product.
311
00:21:02,074 --> 00:21:06,943
We deal in chickens, eggs and milk.
Simplicity, purity, truth.
312
00:21:07,947 --> 00:21:12,077
Perhaps, Mr. Bissell,
just a plain white billboard,
313
00:21:12,685 --> 00:21:17,782
and across it in plain gold letters,
''Nurdlinger's eggs have bigger yolks.''
314
00:21:18,324 --> 00:21:19,689
Simplicity.
315
00:21:20,392 --> 00:21:23,418
And in the upper left hand corner,
a picture of me.
316
00:21:23,495 --> 00:21:24,894
-Truth!
-What do you think of it?
317
00:21:24,964 --> 00:21:28,161
lt's something to put in the forge
and maw on a little, l'd say.
318
00:21:28,233 --> 00:21:29,257
-l like it.
-So do l.
319
00:21:29,335 --> 00:21:30,529
l do, too.
320
00:21:31,103 --> 00:21:33,697
All right, Mr. Bissell,
what do you think of the idea?
321
00:21:33,772 --> 00:21:35,706
Frankly, sir, l don't like it at all.
322
00:21:35,774 --> 00:21:40,177
What are we talking about here?
We're talking about milk, correct?
323
00:21:40,813 --> 00:21:43,441
The simplest and most basic of foods.
324
00:21:43,515 --> 00:21:45,779
l think advertising should be
just as simple and basic
325
00:21:45,851 --> 00:21:47,842
as the product that you're trying to sell.
326
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,651
l think we ought to strip away
the sham and pretension from advertising.
327
00:21:51,724 --> 00:21:53,191
Who buys your products,
328
00:21:53,258 --> 00:21:56,091
your eggs and your milk and chickens,
Mr. Nurdlinger?
329
00:21:56,161 --> 00:21:57,788
Why, people.
330
00:21:57,863 --> 00:22:02,425
Exactly. People, just human beings.
Ordinary, plain people.
331
00:22:02,501 --> 00:22:05,698
l think we ought to,
maybe have candid shots of people,
332
00:22:05,771 --> 00:22:10,208
and real people, not actors or models,
and put them up on the billboard.
333
00:22:10,275 --> 00:22:12,004
And the copy should simply read,
334
00:22:12,077 --> 00:22:16,537
''Mr. and Mrs. Godfrey Hotchkiss''
or whatever their name might be,
335
00:22:16,615 --> 00:22:20,574
''say Nurdlinger products are better.''
And that's all. Period.
336
00:22:21,654 --> 00:22:25,454
Order up the billboards, Burke.
l buy it 100%%.
337
00:22:26,358 --> 00:22:29,054
ln the face of such honesty and truth,
l feel somewhat diminished.
338
00:22:29,128 --> 00:22:31,528
-Beautiful conception.
-Clean and true. Genius!
339
00:22:31,597 --> 00:22:33,997
This may start a whole new trend
in advertising.
340
00:22:34,066 --> 00:22:35,328
You're my man.
341
00:22:53,052 --> 00:22:59,184
Trans World Airlines Starstream
flight 87 1 Royal Ambassador service,,,
342
00:22:59,425 --> 00:23:03,862
-Jan! Oh, my gosh, l can't believe it.
-How are you? l'm so happy to see you.
343
00:23:03,962 --> 00:23:05,793
-You look wonderful.
-You're wonderful yourself.
344
00:23:05,864 --> 00:23:07,593
-Mink. ls that real?
-Yes.
345
00:23:07,666 --> 00:23:09,463
Where'd you get that suit? lt's marvelous.
346
00:23:09,535 --> 00:23:11,765
-l picked it up in Paris on the way over.
-ln Paris?
347
00:23:11,837 --> 00:23:14,431
-Have you been living in Paris?
-Yes. Well, l'll tell you all about it.
348
00:23:14,506 --> 00:23:18,602
-Let's get my luggage and let's have a lunch.
-Marvelous. Such a good idea.
349
00:23:18,677 --> 00:23:20,167
Listen, you haven't met Sam.
350
00:23:36,929 --> 00:23:39,727
Gosh, l am so envious of you,
living all over the world.
351
00:23:39,798 --> 00:23:44,132
-What a life you lead. Do you realize?
-No complaints. l adore my life.
352
00:23:44,670 --> 00:23:48,538
Remember when l always said in school,
''There's some girls born to be single.''
353
00:23:48,607 --> 00:23:51,906
Well, l'm one of them. l just love being free.
354
00:23:51,977 --> 00:23:56,914
Not that marriage isn't good for other girls.
lt obviously agrees with you, Min.
355
00:23:56,982 --> 00:24:01,749
You know, l expected you to look
all married and plump and l don't know.
356
00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:03,253
You're divine.
357
00:24:04,289 --> 00:24:08,282
l felt so bad when l heard about
you and Howard getting a divorce.
358
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:11,295
l don't know,
somehow l expected you to look different.
359
00:24:11,363 --> 00:24:15,197
What? With dark circles
under my tearstained eyes?
360
00:24:15,267 --> 00:24:18,828
-Something like that, yeah.
-l'll tell you something, Min,
361
00:24:18,904 --> 00:24:23,136
every girl should be
married to Howard Ebbets at least once.
362
00:24:23,208 --> 00:24:28,077
lt is like hitting your head against a wall.
lt feels so good when it stops.
363
00:24:29,348 --> 00:24:32,249
Leaving him was the most wonderful thing
ever happened to me.
364
00:24:32,317 --> 00:24:35,309
lt absolutely restored my faith in divorce.
365
00:24:35,888 --> 00:24:40,916
But looking at you, all so happy
and shining and... l don't know.
366
00:24:41,727 --> 00:24:43,888
Wait till you meet Sam. You'll understand.
367
00:24:51,537 --> 00:24:52,595
-Thanks, Earl.
-Yeah.
368
00:24:52,671 --> 00:24:55,265
Hey, l wish l could see Min's face
when you tell her.
369
00:24:55,340 --> 00:24:57,274
-Thanks again.
-Hey, remember, think milk.
370
00:24:57,342 --> 00:24:59,833
-Yeah. See you tomorrow.
-All right.
371
00:25:06,185 --> 00:25:08,483
Hey, honey, guess what?
372
00:25:09,154 --> 00:25:11,179
Where are you? Min?
373
00:25:26,138 --> 00:25:27,230
Dear!
374
00:25:40,118 --> 00:25:44,384
Min! Dear! These are for you.
Don't think l'm crazy.
375
00:25:44,456 --> 00:25:46,947
We're gonna celebrate.
The most wonderful thing happened today.
376
00:25:47,025 --> 00:25:51,928
lt's amazing. l went into the office,
you know, and l was gonna ask for a...
377
00:25:54,733 --> 00:25:59,898
You must be Sam.
l'm Min's friend, Janet. Janet Lagerlof.
378
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,572
-How do you do, Mrs. Lagerlof?
-How do you do?
379
00:26:03,642 --> 00:26:07,305
l mean, Lagerlof is only my maiden name.
380
00:26:07,379 --> 00:26:11,281
Till my divorce is final,
l am still Mrs. Howard Ebbets.
381
00:26:11,350 --> 00:26:13,784
-How do you do, Mrs. Ebbets?
-How do you do?
382
00:26:13,852 --> 00:26:16,912
-Nice to see you.
-Nice to see you.
383
00:26:16,989 --> 00:26:19,753
Well, look,
l don't wanna disturb your shower.
384
00:26:19,825 --> 00:26:23,556
-Can l get you anything? Soap?
-No, no. Thank you. l have everything.
385
00:26:23,629 --> 00:26:27,030
Washcloth? Well, make yourself at home.
386
00:26:27,099 --> 00:26:30,626
-Thank you.
-Oh, my goodness.
387
00:26:34,006 --> 00:26:37,066
-Min. lt's terrible.
-Hi, honey. l didn't know you were home.
388
00:26:37,142 --> 00:26:38,302
Never been more embarrassed in my life.
389
00:26:38,377 --> 00:26:40,902
Just made a fool out of myself
with your friend Janet in the shower there.
390
00:26:40,979 --> 00:26:41,968
-ln the shower?
-ln the shower.
391
00:26:42,047 --> 00:26:43,105
What the heck is she doing here anyway?
392
00:26:43,181 --> 00:26:46,048
Well, now, Sam, l invited her.
Now don't be like that.
393
00:26:46,118 --> 00:26:47,142
l want her to meet you.
394
00:26:47,219 --> 00:26:48,652
-Well, it's kind of...
-She's my guest.
395
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,087
Jan, Jan, l guess there's really no point
in introducing you two.
396
00:26:52,157 --> 00:26:54,148
-No.
-But, Jan, this is my husband, Sam.
397
00:26:54,226 --> 00:26:55,284
Sam, this is Janet.
398
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:56,452
-We've met.
-Yes.
399
00:26:56,528 --> 00:26:59,122
-l'm very sorry about that.
-Don't be. l think it's divine.
400
00:26:59,197 --> 00:27:01,290
Tell me, does he come home every evening
with roses?
401
00:27:01,366 --> 00:27:02,799
-For me?
-No. Yeah.
402
00:27:02,868 --> 00:27:04,529
-Well, it's a special occasion.
-Why?
403
00:27:04,603 --> 00:27:06,969
You see, l've been trying
to tell somebody this ever since l got home.
404
00:27:07,039 --> 00:27:09,530
Dear, you're looking
at the new account executive
405
00:27:09,608 --> 00:27:11,269
for the Nurdlinger Dairy account.
406
00:27:11,343 --> 00:27:12,537
-Me, today.
-Sam.
407
00:27:12,611 --> 00:27:14,636
-Yeah.
-l don't believe it.
408
00:27:14,746 --> 00:27:16,475
-That's...
-Wait. l got some champagne to celebrate.
409
00:27:16,548 --> 00:27:19,039
But l don't know what it is,
an account executive?
410
00:27:19,117 --> 00:27:20,209
lt's a very important job.
411
00:27:20,285 --> 00:27:23,220
He has charge of all the advertising
from his company.
412
00:27:23,288 --> 00:27:24,812
Honey, when did you find out?
413
00:27:24,890 --> 00:27:27,654
l was going up to the office
to ask for a raise,
414
00:27:27,726 --> 00:27:30,627
and before l could say anything,
Mr. Burke just gave me the job.
415
00:27:30,696 --> 00:27:32,857
l guess, l don't know.
Nurdlinger is a very strange old guy,
416
00:27:32,931 --> 00:27:34,262
and l guess he just kind of likes me.
417
00:27:34,333 --> 00:27:35,891
-Does Earl know?
-Does he know?
418
00:27:35,968 --> 00:27:38,368
He almost hit five phone poles
on the way home.
419
00:27:38,437 --> 00:27:40,871
He wanted to see your eyes when l told you,
he said.
420
00:27:40,939 --> 00:27:41,963
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
421
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:45,203
To my wonderful friends,
their love, their home and your new job.
422
00:27:45,277 --> 00:27:47,802
-Congratulations, honey.
-Thanks, dear.
423
00:27:49,514 --> 00:27:53,814
Good. Hey, l have a marvelous idea.
Why don't we celebrate
424
00:27:53,885 --> 00:27:55,079
-and go out to dinner tonight?
-Yes.
425
00:27:55,153 --> 00:27:56,450
Yeah, fine. Go ahead. You two get dressed
426
00:27:56,521 --> 00:27:58,318
-and then l'll shave afterwards.
-Yes. Okay.
427
00:27:58,390 --> 00:28:00,984
-You can use the shower now, Min.
-That's marvelous.
428
00:28:06,431 --> 00:28:08,524
Min, l'll keep Sam company.
429
00:28:10,102 --> 00:28:13,094
-Sam. Sam, where are you?
-Out here.
430
00:28:20,245 --> 00:28:21,405
Sam!
431
00:28:22,481 --> 00:28:25,075
-You like it?
-lt's marvelous.
432
00:28:25,150 --> 00:28:29,109
lt's wonderful. lt's so imaginative.
And that, and that!
433
00:28:30,389 --> 00:28:32,949
Sam, you know,
it's almost like Jean Tinguely in Paris.
434
00:28:33,025 --> 00:28:34,720
-Do you know him?
-Well, thank you.
435
00:28:34,793 --> 00:28:38,422
-You're a genius. Absolutely genius.
-Creative junkie is what l am.
436
00:28:38,497 --> 00:28:40,795
-Junkie? lt's not junk. lt's beautiful.
-Thank you.
437
00:28:40,866 --> 00:28:42,026
-You wanna see how it works?
-Yes.
438
00:28:42,100 --> 00:28:45,797
Well, you wait a minute while l tighten
this up. l'll give you a preview.
439
00:28:45,871 --> 00:28:47,065
Sam, you and Minnie are so sweet.
440
00:28:47,139 --> 00:28:49,107
l'm so happy
that we're going to be neighbors.
441
00:28:49,174 --> 00:28:50,334
What neighbors?
What do you mean neighbors?
442
00:28:50,409 --> 00:28:51,433
-You don't know it?
-What?
443
00:28:51,510 --> 00:28:52,568
-She didn't tell you?
-No.
444
00:28:52,644 --> 00:28:54,805
-l rented the house this afternoon.
-What, the Goodsen place?
445
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:55,938
-Yes.
-Well, l'll be.
446
00:28:56,014 --> 00:28:58,642
l'm staying in San Francisco for a while,
and l'm sick from hotels,
447
00:28:58,717 --> 00:29:01,686
and Min and l, we had two bottles of wine,
and it seemed a good idea.
448
00:29:01,753 --> 00:29:03,778
-Now it's even a better one.
-Well, l think it's a great idea.
449
00:29:03,855 --> 00:29:05,220
We've got two things to celebrate now,
450
00:29:05,290 --> 00:29:08,350
-my new account and our new neighbor.
-Yes. My new neighbors.
451
00:29:08,427 --> 00:29:10,895
-Thank you. Now, you ready?
-Yes.
452
00:29:10,962 --> 00:29:12,691
Cross your fingers.
453
00:29:18,570 --> 00:29:19,867
Beautiful.
454
00:29:20,772 --> 00:29:22,569
Sam, it's beautiful.
455
00:29:26,678 --> 00:29:27,770
Sam!
456
00:29:52,370 --> 00:29:54,668
-Wonderful.
-Life is wonderful.
457
00:29:55,707 --> 00:29:56,799
To you.
458
00:30:06,952 --> 00:30:09,045
l think we should go out more often.
459
00:30:09,121 --> 00:30:12,113
-More wine, sir? More wine?
-Yeah, good thinking.
460
00:30:13,091 --> 00:30:15,389
-Say, l have a wonderful idea.
-Yeah?
461
00:30:15,460 --> 00:30:17,428
Why doesn't Jan spend the night with us?
462
00:30:17,496 --> 00:30:19,794
That way she'll be there in the morning
when the moving vans arrive.
463
00:30:19,865 --> 00:30:22,095
Very good thinking.
And listen, Jan, if you need any furniture,
464
00:30:22,167 --> 00:30:23,794
l've got amazing stuff in the back of my...
465
00:30:23,869 --> 00:30:26,269
Jan has loads of furniture
from her grandfather.
466
00:30:26,338 --> 00:30:28,568
Yes, he died two weeks ago, Sam,
467
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:33,236
and l'm the closest living relative,
so l inherited a whole gloomy mansion
468
00:30:33,311 --> 00:30:36,280
full of furniture
and heaven knows what else.
469
00:30:36,348 --> 00:30:39,249
That's why l came to San Francisco,
to settle up his estate.
470
00:30:39,317 --> 00:30:42,081
-Do you think he left you any money?
-No. l'll know it tomorrow.
471
00:30:42,154 --> 00:30:43,849
The lawyers are coming over to talk.
472
00:30:43,922 --> 00:30:45,822
Listen, we are not here
to talk about lawyers.
473
00:30:45,891 --> 00:30:48,758
Let's speak about our account executive.
474
00:30:48,827 --> 00:30:51,352
Oui, Hey, you know, l'm having fun.
475
00:30:51,429 --> 00:30:53,124
-Hey, waiter?
-Yes, sir?
476
00:30:53,198 --> 00:30:54,495
-Could we have one more bottle, please?
-Certainly.
477
00:30:54,566 --> 00:30:56,625
Sam, don't you think
maybe we'd better have dinner?
478
00:30:56,701 --> 00:30:58,225
-Yeah, one more round, dear.
-Okay.
479
00:30:58,303 --> 00:30:59,702
-Right.
-Cheers.
480
00:30:59,771 --> 00:31:01,238
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
481
00:31:23,361 --> 00:31:27,923
So l told Mr. Nurdlinger, l said
''Nurdlie...'' No, l said,
482
00:31:27,999 --> 00:31:32,163
''l'm a plain, simple, clean-loving
family man, and l love my little old wife,
483
00:31:32,237 --> 00:31:35,673
''and l love my little old kids,
and l love my little old ducks,
484
00:31:35,740 --> 00:31:40,006
''and l love my little old neighbors,
and l love my little new neighbor, too.''
485
00:31:41,646 --> 00:31:43,477
Well, l told him. l just said, ''Mr. Nurdlinger,
486
00:31:43,548 --> 00:31:48,178
''the simplest and most basic thing
in the world is... ls milk.''
487
00:31:48,253 --> 00:31:51,347
You know, just good clean-living,
wholesome American milk.
488
00:31:51,623 --> 00:31:55,389
-Sam, l'm just starving.
-Let's order dinner, no?
489
00:31:55,460 --> 00:31:58,395
What a wonderful thing it would be
if the young people of today
490
00:31:58,463 --> 00:32:01,364
could benefit from my example, huh?
Of clean-living.
491
00:32:01,433 --> 00:32:03,867
l'm gonna find young people
and talk to them about clean-living
492
00:32:03,935 --> 00:32:05,493
and how rewarding that can be, boy.
493
00:32:05,570 --> 00:32:07,333
-Sam!
-lt's the least l can do, dear.
494
00:32:07,405 --> 00:32:09,737
Jan, we gotta get him out of here.
495
00:32:10,275 --> 00:32:14,371
Excuse me. l'd like to say a few words
about clean-living.
496
00:32:14,446 --> 00:32:16,141
-When l was your age l...
-Excuse us.
497
00:32:16,214 --> 00:32:17,442
Bissell philosophy...
498
00:32:17,515 --> 00:32:18,846
-Wait, dear, l want to speak.
-Come on, sweetie.
499
00:32:18,917 --> 00:32:19,941
They're very nice people.
500
00:32:20,018 --> 00:32:21,883
Don't be afraid of being
just plain, clean-living family.
501
00:32:21,953 --> 00:32:25,582
l'm proud of you.
l'm proud of every last one of you.
502
00:32:25,657 --> 00:32:26,885
And l say to you...
503
00:32:27,559 --> 00:32:29,151
Sam, did you give me the keys?
504
00:32:29,227 --> 00:32:31,525
l'll tell you one thing,
l'm having a great deal of fun,
505
00:32:31,596 --> 00:32:34,588
and whoever said that clean
and wholesome living couldn't be very...
506
00:32:34,666 --> 00:32:38,033
l don't have a pocket.
Are you sure l didn't give them to you?
507
00:32:39,771 --> 00:32:43,605
Would everybody here from Ohio
please raise their hand?
508
00:32:46,411 --> 00:32:47,673
Sam.
509
00:32:48,079 --> 00:32:49,876
-Sam.
-ln front of all these people.
510
00:32:49,948 --> 00:32:52,917
-The keys.
-Here, thank you.
511
00:32:52,984 --> 00:32:54,645
Where did we park?
512
00:32:54,719 --> 00:32:57,313
-We were parking... We came in here.
-No, that's wrong.
513
00:33:03,695 --> 00:33:05,060
Sam!
514
00:33:06,131 --> 00:33:10,795
Are you all right? Are you all right, Sam?
l'm sorry. l'm so sorry.
515
00:33:10,869 --> 00:33:15,738
-l'm terribly... Are you all right?
-Don't be upset. l just fell out of bed.
516
00:33:17,809 --> 00:33:21,176
Just a plain, everyday,
clean-living family man. Oh, my dear.
517
00:34:04,823 --> 00:34:06,188
Hey, kid...
518
00:34:20,038 --> 00:34:23,235
Please, will you put this on the... Thank you.
519
00:34:26,578 --> 00:34:28,375
-Min?
-Morning, Sam.
520
00:34:28,446 --> 00:34:29,879
Min. Hi.
521
00:34:29,948 --> 00:34:32,542
-lt was a wonderful evening.
-Yeah. ls Min around?
522
00:34:32,617 --> 00:34:36,280
-Hi, sweetie. How do you feel?
-What happened?
523
00:34:37,255 --> 00:34:41,385
Well, a certain clean-living family man
rolled all the way down the main staircase
524
00:34:41,459 --> 00:34:44,292
in the Fairmont Hotel last night.
lt caused quite a commotion.
525
00:34:44,362 --> 00:34:45,488
-Oh, no.
-Yes.
526
00:34:45,563 --> 00:34:47,531
-lt's true.
-Janet!
527
00:34:47,599 --> 00:34:49,499
-Hello, darling.
-Sam, please.
528
00:34:50,735 --> 00:34:53,465
-Hello, Mel, how are you?
-Hello. Nice to see you.
529
00:34:53,538 --> 00:34:55,335
-My associates, Mr. Wyeth.
-Hello.
530
00:34:55,407 --> 00:34:56,465
-How are you?
-Mr. Hausner.
531
00:34:56,541 --> 00:34:58,702
How are you?
My neighbors, Mr. Bissell, Mrs. Bissell,
532
00:34:58,777 --> 00:35:01,245
my grandfather's lawyer, Mr. Mellner.
533
00:35:01,312 --> 00:35:02,711
-Pardon me, coming through, please.
-How do you do?
534
00:35:02,781 --> 00:35:05,614
My, but this is a busy place.
We came here to talk, Janet.
535
00:35:05,683 --> 00:35:08,584
-lt's a mess.
-Why don't we come over to my house, Jan?
536
00:35:08,653 --> 00:35:10,382
lt's nice and quiet. l'll put on some coffee.
537
00:35:10,455 --> 00:35:12,013
-Fine.
-Right this way.
538
00:35:12,090 --> 00:35:13,216
Wait, l'll put this...
539
00:35:13,691 --> 00:35:17,491
The stock and bond portfolios
and the Lagerlof Brewery in Seattle
540
00:35:17,562 --> 00:35:19,792
bring the total considerably higher.
541
00:35:19,898 --> 00:35:22,628
And with the Oakland Brewery
and the corporate holdings in Fresno,
542
00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:24,964
the... Where is that packet, Wyeth?
543
00:35:25,036 --> 00:35:28,335
-Right here, sir. There you are.
-Thank you.
544
00:35:29,507 --> 00:35:33,807
The estate comes to something
in the neighborhood of $15 million.
545
00:35:34,846 --> 00:35:36,905
-Janet!
-$15 million!
546
00:35:36,981 --> 00:35:41,281
-You're a millionairess!
-You're the only millionaire l've ever known.
547
00:35:41,352 --> 00:35:42,842
-l don't believe it.
-Are you sure?
548
00:35:42,921 --> 00:35:46,413
Grandfather lived so simply
in that gloomy little house.
549
00:35:46,491 --> 00:35:48,823
Your grandfather
was a very conservative gentleman
550
00:35:48,893 --> 00:35:51,384
who didn't believe in extravagance.
551
00:35:51,463 --> 00:35:54,489
As a matter of fact,
you are the closest blood relative.
552
00:35:54,566 --> 00:35:58,002
There are, of course, your cousins,
lrene Krupp and Jack Bailey,
553
00:35:58,069 --> 00:36:01,095
who, incidentally, have already
been to see me inquiring about the will.
554
00:36:01,172 --> 00:36:02,662
But l don't think there's any problem there,
555
00:36:02,740 --> 00:36:06,540
provided you effect a reconciliation
with Howard as soon as possible.
556
00:36:07,979 --> 00:36:09,173
Provided l what?
557
00:36:09,247 --> 00:36:12,114
There's a codicil in your grandfather's will
which stipulates
558
00:36:12,183 --> 00:36:17,052
that in order to qualify for the inheritance,
your marriage must be sound and effective.
559
00:36:17,121 --> 00:36:19,715
Therefore, it's simply a matter
of locating your husband...
560
00:36:19,791 --> 00:36:23,056
-My ex-husband.
-...and effecting a reconciliation.
561
00:36:23,795 --> 00:36:26,229
Never. Not for any amount of money.
562
00:36:27,365 --> 00:36:30,425
As l remember, Janet,
you were divorced six months ago.
563
00:36:30,502 --> 00:36:34,336
Under California law,
it won't be final for another six months.
564
00:36:34,405 --> 00:36:38,239
l believe we can safely take the position
that you are still married.
565
00:36:38,309 --> 00:36:40,004
-What do you think, gentlemen?
-Well, legally...
566
00:36:40,078 --> 00:36:42,979
-They're not living together...
-Not exactly a legitimate marriage this way...
567
00:36:43,047 --> 00:36:44,981
But l suppose
one could say they were married.
568
00:36:45,049 --> 00:36:46,516
-ln effect.
-ln effect.
569
00:36:46,584 --> 00:36:49,018
Let's file with
the Probate Commissioner then.
570
00:36:49,087 --> 00:36:51,453
According to law,
Janet is still legally married.
571
00:36:51,523 --> 00:36:53,047
Unless someone points out
572
00:36:53,124 --> 00:36:55,524
that her husband doesn't actually
happen to be living with her.
573
00:36:55,593 --> 00:36:59,029
But, sir, excuse me, if somebody
does find out they aren't living together,
574
00:36:59,097 --> 00:37:03,261
-they could contest the will.
-Who would do a thing like that?
575
00:37:04,435 --> 00:37:06,801
With $15 million at stake, my dear,
576
00:37:06,871 --> 00:37:09,567
relatives come out of the woodwork,
you'll find.
577
00:37:09,641 --> 00:37:12,804
-You mean lrene and Jack?
-Exactly.
578
00:37:12,877 --> 00:37:15,641
How could they possibly know
Howard and l were divorced?
579
00:37:15,713 --> 00:37:18,978
Well, there are such things
as private investigators, you know.
580
00:37:19,050 --> 00:37:20,574
Well, let's not anticipate trouble.
581
00:37:20,652 --> 00:37:24,281
lf no one brings up the question of Howard,
things should go smoothly.
582
00:37:24,355 --> 00:37:26,118
The money is legally yours, my dear,
583
00:37:26,190 --> 00:37:29,250
and l'm going to do my best
to see that you get it.
584
00:37:30,128 --> 00:37:31,254
Nice to have met you, Mrs. Bissell.
585
00:37:31,329 --> 00:37:34,355
-lt was nice to have met you, sir.
-Goodbye, Mr. Bissell. Come, darling.
586
00:37:34,432 --> 00:37:38,163
Don't you worry one little bit, now.
Everything is going to work out all right.
587
00:37:53,451 --> 00:37:56,818
-lt's $15 million.
-$15 million?
588
00:37:57,488 --> 00:37:59,046
$15 million.
589
00:38:02,327 --> 00:38:04,352
-$15 million!
-$15 million!
590
00:38:07,298 --> 00:38:08,424
Jan!
591
00:38:09,167 --> 00:38:12,830
-What does anybody do with all that money?
-Listen, l can't think about the money now.
592
00:38:12,904 --> 00:38:15,372
l have to get that house settled.
Look at that mess.
593
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,034
Well, Jan's right. We gotta help this house
get pulled together.
594
00:38:18,109 --> 00:38:20,669
l'm gonna run and get some coffee.
You guys get started, okay?
595
00:38:33,958 --> 00:38:36,358
This, please, in the bedroom. Thank you.
596
00:38:44,702 --> 00:38:46,135
Hello, dear.
597
00:38:48,272 --> 00:38:51,435
-Hello, Janet.
-lt's nice to see you again.
598
00:38:52,210 --> 00:38:55,668
Cousin lrene, cousin Jack, what a surprise.
599
00:38:55,747 --> 00:38:58,079
-l hope we're not intruding.
-No, no, not at all.
600
00:38:58,149 --> 00:39:01,141
You have all of Uncle Otto's furniture.
601
00:39:01,219 --> 00:39:04,848
l'm so glad you got it, dear,
one of his favorite relatives.
602
00:39:07,325 --> 00:39:09,520
And his pet chair.
603
00:39:09,594 --> 00:39:13,121
l remember seeing him sitting in it
just before he died.
604
00:39:13,898 --> 00:39:16,196
Now, now, my dear, don't upset yourself.
605
00:39:16,267 --> 00:39:20,397
-May l sit down?
-Yes, of course. Please, please sit down.
606
00:39:20,471 --> 00:39:22,302
-Where?
-l'm sorry about this.
607
00:39:22,373 --> 00:39:23,533
Yes, right here over here.
608
00:39:23,608 --> 00:39:25,769
You know, l think
l took the wrong turn off the bridge.
609
00:39:25,843 --> 00:39:28,835
-Yes, it is difficult to find.
-l went to the left instead of the right.
610
00:39:28,913 --> 00:39:30,005
l hope we're not intruding.
611
00:39:30,081 --> 00:39:32,777
No, no, no. Please be comfortable.
Sit down, please.
612
00:39:32,850 --> 00:39:35,341
We just dropped by to pay our condolences.
613
00:39:35,420 --> 00:39:36,717
Sad about Uncle Otto.
614
00:39:36,788 --> 00:39:38,915
Loved the old man
just like he was my own father.
615
00:39:38,990 --> 00:39:42,892
-Sweet, dear old gentleman.
-We hoped Howard was around.
616
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:44,655
Never had the pleasure of meeting him,
you know.
617
00:39:44,729 --> 00:39:46,993
And, yeah, Howard, yes.
Well, unfortunately...
618
00:39:47,065 --> 00:39:48,828
-Hey, Janet.
-Yes?
619
00:39:48,900 --> 00:39:51,994
Listen, where do you want me
to put these towels?
620
00:39:53,805 --> 00:39:56,103
Darling, come here, please, one moment.
621
00:39:56,174 --> 00:39:58,768
-You've never met my cousins, have you?
-No.
622
00:39:58,843 --> 00:40:01,903
lrene Krupp, Jack Bailey,
my husband, Howard.
623
00:40:01,979 --> 00:40:05,278
These are the relatives we were
speaking about, remember, darling?
624
00:40:05,349 --> 00:40:08,250
By golly, Howard, it's good to meet you
after all these years.
625
00:40:08,319 --> 00:40:13,222
Well, Howard, dear.
So you're the lucky man who got Janet?
626
00:40:13,825 --> 00:40:18,057
Please, sit down. Sit down.
l'm sorry about all this mess, but you know,
627
00:40:18,129 --> 00:40:20,962
we just moved in this morning,
didn't we, dear?
628
00:40:22,100 --> 00:40:24,591
We just moved in this morning,
didn't we, dear?
629
00:40:24,669 --> 00:40:28,765
-We understand.
-lt'll be lovely some day.
630
00:40:29,340 --> 00:40:33,106
l guess there are people
who like these modern contemporary...
631
00:40:33,644 --> 00:40:35,942
Well, of course,
we don't really care where we are
632
00:40:36,013 --> 00:40:37,878
just as long as we're together. Right, dear?
633
00:40:37,949 --> 00:40:41,578
Yes, right. As long as we are together,
nothing else matters.
634
00:40:43,121 --> 00:40:45,885
Min. Min, darling, thank you very much.
635
00:40:45,957 --> 00:40:49,324
These are the relatives
we were speaking about, remember?
636
00:40:49,393 --> 00:40:51,691
My darling next-door neighbor,
Minerva Bissell,
637
00:40:51,763 --> 00:40:54,061
Jack, lrene Krupp, Jack Bailey.
638
00:40:54,132 --> 00:40:55,599
-How do you do?
-How do you do?
639
00:40:55,666 --> 00:40:58,658
Now, Howard and l, we were just saying,
640
00:40:58,736 --> 00:41:02,172
we'd be happy wherever we are
as long as we are together.
641
00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:04,674
-Howard and you.
-Yes, isn't that right, dear?
642
00:41:04,742 --> 00:41:07,677
Yes, indeed. Of course, we're very fortunate
living next door to you
643
00:41:07,745 --> 00:41:10,714
and your wonderful, wonderful husband,
Mrs. Bissell.
644
00:41:10,782 --> 00:41:13,876
-Aren't you sweet?
-No, l'm very serious.
645
00:41:13,951 --> 00:41:16,977
He is just one of the fine men, is all he is.
646
00:41:17,054 --> 00:41:21,115
Just a prince of the Earth, that man.
lsn't that right, Mrs. Bissell?
647
00:41:21,492 --> 00:41:23,892
-Would you like some coffee?
-Oh, no, thank you.
648
00:41:23,961 --> 00:41:26,521
That's sweet of you, dear,
but we really must be going.
649
00:41:26,597 --> 00:41:27,791
We just dropped by
to extend our sympathies.
650
00:41:27,865 --> 00:41:29,958
-l'm afraid we were a little early.
-No.
651
00:41:30,034 --> 00:41:31,899
l hope l can get the right turn this time.
652
00:41:32,570 --> 00:41:34,060
Say, where is Sam?
653
00:41:34,138 --> 00:41:35,537
l met two...
654
00:41:36,274 --> 00:41:37,901
-Yes.
-You know, 25 years ago,
655
00:41:37,975 --> 00:41:40,603
there wasn't anything like the population
in this county that there is now.
656
00:41:40,678 --> 00:41:43,806
lt must be very inconvenient for you,
living way out here.
657
00:41:43,881 --> 00:41:48,545
-Are you sure nobody wants some coffee?
-No, thank you. Goodbye, Mrs. Bissell.
658
00:41:49,420 --> 00:41:53,413
-So nice to have met you, dear.
-l just live over here.
659
00:41:53,491 --> 00:41:55,982
-Goodbye.
-Say hi to Sam.
660
00:41:56,060 --> 00:41:57,084
Well, goodbye, dear.
661
00:41:57,161 --> 00:41:58,856
-l'm glad to see that you're so happy.
-Goodbye.
662
00:41:58,930 --> 00:42:02,161
-Bye, lrene. See you soon.
-Howard, glad to have met you.
663
00:42:02,233 --> 00:42:04,724
-Thank you, sir.
-Goodbye, Howard.
664
00:42:04,802 --> 00:42:05,928
-Bye.
-Bye-bye.
665
00:42:06,003 --> 00:42:07,732
-Nice to have...
-Goodbye.
666
00:42:12,076 --> 00:42:13,941
That was the craziest thing
l've ever been through.
667
00:42:14,011 --> 00:42:17,606
Sam, you were brilliant. Just brilliant.
And by the way, thank you.
668
00:42:17,682 --> 00:42:20,651
That's all right. l think they know
about that will. That's why they came here.
669
00:42:20,718 --> 00:42:22,709
Well, of course,
l saw it immediately when they came in.
670
00:42:22,787 --> 00:42:23,879
Yeah.
671
00:42:24,455 --> 00:42:26,047
-l think we fooled them, though.
-We were great.
672
00:42:26,123 --> 00:42:27,647
Matter of fact,
l think we were both pretty good.
673
00:42:27,725 --> 00:42:30,091
We were great. Yes?
674
00:42:30,528 --> 00:42:31,552
Hi, it's me.
675
00:42:32,096 --> 00:42:34,428
Min. Hi. lt's Min.
676
00:42:34,899 --> 00:42:37,060
You two were marvelous,
but l think we're still in trouble.
677
00:42:37,134 --> 00:42:39,227
They're still out there, just sitting in the car.
678
00:42:40,238 --> 00:42:42,570
Sam, look if they are still out there.
679
00:42:48,346 --> 00:42:50,746
Hey, you're right. l gotta get to work.
What am l gonna do?
680
00:42:50,948 --> 00:42:52,040
What did he say?
681
00:42:52,116 --> 00:42:55,643
He has to get to work
and he's still in his pajamas.
682
00:42:56,387 --> 00:42:57,945
Well, he'll have to leave from your place.
683
00:42:58,022 --> 00:43:00,115
Come on over and l'll put his clothes
in a bag or something.
684
00:43:00,591 --> 00:43:02,456
All right, good idea.
685
00:43:02,727 --> 00:43:05,594
Sam. Sam, Min has the best idea.
686
00:43:05,663 --> 00:43:07,927
l go in your house
and l come back with your clothes.
687
00:43:07,999 --> 00:43:11,127
-Don't worry.
-Yeah, well... Bring my...
688
00:43:41,098 --> 00:43:43,760
Sam? Min suggested l drive you to work
689
00:43:43,834 --> 00:43:46,860
-so it will look legitimate, you know?
-Yeah.
690
00:43:46,938 --> 00:43:49,736
-What time do you have to be there?
-Holy smoke, now.
691
00:43:49,807 --> 00:43:51,832
First day as an account executive
and l'm late already.
692
00:43:51,909 --> 00:43:54,935
Don't panic. l'll get you there.
l'll drive the car out of...
693
00:44:07,425 --> 00:44:11,555
No socks. They forgot my socks.
You forgot... You...
694
00:44:25,743 --> 00:44:26,971
l haven't even shaved.
695
00:44:27,044 --> 00:44:30,707
They're across the street.
Keep your voice down and smile.
696
00:44:41,125 --> 00:44:42,888
-Follow them.
-Why?
697
00:44:43,327 --> 00:44:46,319
l can give you 15 million reasons why.
Now hurry up and follow them.
698
00:44:55,506 --> 00:44:57,940
Sam, please put that in the back.
699
00:45:06,350 --> 00:45:07,647
-What?
-Don't look around,
700
00:45:07,718 --> 00:45:12,018
but just glance into the rear-vision.
ls that the same car?
701
00:45:14,425 --> 00:45:15,619
They followed us.
702
00:45:16,460 --> 00:45:17,654
-Good morning. Good morning, sir.
-Good morning.
703
00:45:17,728 --> 00:45:20,322
-Morning.
-You remember all the boys, sir.
704
00:45:20,398 --> 00:45:21,660
-Morning.
-Mr. Nurdlinger,
705
00:45:21,732 --> 00:45:24,030
this is Richard Taragon, Mr. Nurdlinger.
706
00:45:24,101 --> 00:45:26,365
-He's the best photographer in the business.
-How are you?
707
00:45:26,437 --> 00:45:29,304
He's gonna take some really
fantastic pictures for your billboards.
708
00:45:29,373 --> 00:45:31,432
l don't want fantastic pictures.
709
00:45:31,509 --> 00:45:34,307
l want normal pictures
of normal everyday people,
710
00:45:34,378 --> 00:45:36,642
just like Bissell said.
You better check with Bissell.
711
00:45:36,714 --> 00:45:38,306
He's got his finger
on the pulse of this thing.
712
00:45:38,382 --> 00:45:39,406
Don't worry, Mr. Nurdlinger.
713
00:45:41,685 --> 00:45:44,745
There's our fair-haired boy now,
Mr. Nurdlinger.
714
00:45:46,824 --> 00:45:50,225
Say, they parked right behind us.
715
00:45:50,594 --> 00:45:55,395
Maybe we better keep the act going a little.
Bye, darling.
716
00:45:57,768 --> 00:46:01,636
ls that a charming picture of domesticity.
717
00:46:02,139 --> 00:46:05,768
-l'm sorry about all this, Sam.
-Well, it can't be helped.
718
00:46:07,378 --> 00:46:08,504
Morning, Sam.
719
00:46:08,746 --> 00:46:11,613
Sam, would you come over here
a moment, please?
720
00:46:11,682 --> 00:46:16,710
-Mr. Nurdlinger wants to meet Mrs. Bissell.
-Oh, yeah, Mrs. Bissell.
721
00:46:18,255 --> 00:46:19,950
-What?
-Who is he?
722
00:46:20,024 --> 00:46:22,390
lt's my boss and the client.
How am l gonna explain this?
723
00:46:22,460 --> 00:46:24,758
Well, it's perfectly simple.
Just tell them the truth.
724
00:46:24,829 --> 00:46:27,923
-Say l'm your next-door neighbor. Hello.
-Hello.
725
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,631
Good, clean-living, family-type men
don't go around
726
00:46:32,703 --> 00:46:35,137
making love to their next-door neighbors
on the street corners.
727
00:46:38,042 --> 00:46:40,670
Good morning,
you beautiful, beautiful people.
728
00:46:40,744 --> 00:46:41,768
-Morning, sir.
-Good morning.
729
00:46:41,846 --> 00:46:44,314
l don't believe l've had the pleasure,
my dear.
730
00:46:44,381 --> 00:46:48,909
-This... Mr. Burke, l'd like you to meet my...
-Mrs. Bissell, l am charmed.
731
00:46:48,986 --> 00:46:52,285
Allow me to help you.
Careful with your skirt.
732
00:46:52,356 --> 00:46:55,257
You know, your Sam is a big favorite
with us around here.
733
00:46:55,493 --> 00:46:57,757
l want you to come and meet Mr. Nurdlinger.
734
00:46:57,828 --> 00:46:59,557
-l'd love to.
-He's our toughest client.
735
00:46:59,630 --> 00:47:02,428
-Sam's the only one who can handle him.
-Really?
736
00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:05,799
Let's try and shave a little closer, Sam.
Wanna look neat, you know.
737
00:47:07,304 --> 00:47:10,296
Mrs. Bissell, may l present Mr. Nurdlinger?
738
00:47:10,374 --> 00:47:12,433
-Good morning, Mr. Nurdlinger.
-Good morning, madam.
739
00:47:12,510 --> 00:47:16,276
-l'm delighted to meet you. Morning, Sam.
-Morning, sir.
740
00:47:17,047 --> 00:47:18,344
-Sonny. Fellas.
-Morning, Sam.
741
00:47:18,415 --> 00:47:20,815
-Morning, Sam.
-l wonder if you'd give us the pleasure
742
00:47:20,885 --> 00:47:23,547
of having dinner with Mrs. Nurdlinger
and me tonight.
743
00:47:23,621 --> 00:47:25,555
l know she'd like to meet you both.
744
00:47:25,990 --> 00:47:29,790
Well, l'll have to call my wife at home
to see if she made any other plans.
745
00:47:29,860 --> 00:47:31,327
Call home? What are you talking about?
746
00:47:31,395 --> 00:47:34,592
We'd love to go to your house
for having dinner, wouldn't we, Sam?
747
00:47:34,665 --> 00:47:37,566
-Oh, boy.
-About 8:00, then.
748
00:47:37,635 --> 00:47:41,002
And, Sam, we always dress for dinner.
Black tie.
749
00:47:41,539 --> 00:47:42,836
Delighted to have met you.
750
00:47:42,907 --> 00:47:46,468
-Such a great pleasure to know you.
-The pleasure was mine. Goodbye.
751
00:47:46,544 --> 00:47:48,068
-Goodbye.
-Bye.
752
00:47:52,283 --> 00:47:54,979
-Now, remember. Normal pictures.
-Right.
753
00:47:55,052 --> 00:47:56,349
-Everyday people.
-Good.
754
00:47:56,420 --> 00:47:59,116
-Goodbye, Mr. Nurdlinger. Bye-bye.
-Bye.
755
00:47:59,190 --> 00:48:02,159
This thing is getting a little out of hand.
756
00:48:02,226 --> 00:48:04,956
-Don't you think...
-Goodbye, my darling.
757
00:48:11,669 --> 00:48:14,035
Goodbye, gentlemen. Pleasure meeting you.
758
00:48:14,104 --> 00:48:15,469
-Bye.
-Bye.
759
00:48:18,876 --> 00:48:20,366
Bye, darling.
760
00:48:27,117 --> 00:48:28,675
Lucky boy, Sam.
761
00:48:31,855 --> 00:48:34,346
Morning, Mr. Burke. Hi, fellas.
762
00:48:35,025 --> 00:48:38,017
Would you mind telling me
who that chick was?
763
00:48:38,095 --> 00:48:40,620
-Frightfully artistic...
-l'll do the same kind of thing l did before.
764
00:48:40,698 --> 00:48:42,495
Excellent, excellent.
765
00:48:45,269 --> 00:48:47,203
Why don't you just leave that to me, sir?
766
00:48:47,504 --> 00:48:50,337
What do you think about black and white
or color? l say black and white.
767
00:48:50,407 --> 00:48:53,433
Who the hell was that chick
you were kissing out there?
768
00:48:56,013 --> 00:48:58,504
-What we need is a normal, clean...
-Morning, Mr. Burke.
769
00:48:58,582 --> 00:48:59,776
-Morning, Mr. Boling.
-Morning, Mr. Boling.
770
00:48:59,850 --> 00:49:02,512
-Sam, you can tell me, will you? Hi.
-Later.
771
00:49:02,586 --> 00:49:04,986
-What do you mean, later? Sam.
-What is...
772
00:49:05,055 --> 00:49:08,149
Good morning, Mr. Bissell.
Good morning, Mr. Trilling.
773
00:49:08,225 --> 00:49:11,456
lt's very simple to explain,
but not here, please.
774
00:49:14,265 --> 00:49:15,459
Hello.
775
00:49:19,169 --> 00:49:22,696
-What is all the secrecy?
-l got myself in a bit of a jam.
776
00:49:22,773 --> 00:49:25,298
-Yeah, l bet you did.
-Look, it's Min's best friend.
777
00:49:25,376 --> 00:49:26,536
-Min's best friend?
-Yes.
778
00:49:26,610 --> 00:49:30,011
Hey, fellas, will you stop talking back there!
Quiet down!
779
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:33,311
Will you roll it, Jim? Thank you. Here we go.
780
00:49:33,384 --> 00:49:35,875
All right, we'll take it from the pickups
of bar nine this time. Got it?
781
00:49:35,953 --> 00:49:38,717
Here we go. One, two, a one, two...
782
00:49:38,789 --> 00:49:43,419
By the hour, by the day
By the week or any way
783
00:49:43,494 --> 00:49:48,022
Just let Hertz put you in the driver's seat
784
00:49:48,098 --> 00:49:50,862
Let Hertz put you in the driver's seat.
785
00:49:50,934 --> 00:49:52,959
-No, no, no, no!
-No!
786
00:49:53,037 --> 00:49:56,939
Cut it, will you? Cut it!
You're not getting the idea at all.
787
00:49:57,007 --> 00:50:00,135
-''ln the driver's seat,'' you idiot!
-How many times do l have to rehearse this?
788
00:50:00,210 --> 00:50:01,939
He's been doing that all of...
789
00:50:02,012 --> 00:50:03,775
Look. Will you start from the beginning?
790
00:50:03,847 --> 00:50:05,906
lt's Min's best friend
and she knows all about it.
791
00:50:05,983 --> 00:50:07,280
Sam, my boy! What are you doing in here?
792
00:50:07,351 --> 00:50:09,581
Come on, have we got something
to show you, the fellas and me.
793
00:50:09,653 --> 00:50:11,245
Come along, Sam.
794
00:50:12,289 --> 00:50:15,622
Come on, come on. Out here, Sam.
Girls, girls.
795
00:50:17,728 --> 00:50:19,821
Now, Sam, don't let this go to your head,
796
00:50:19,897 --> 00:50:25,802
but this is just our way of saying thank you
for delivering to us Mr. Nurdlinger.
797
00:50:28,305 --> 00:50:29,636
There you are, Sam.
798
00:50:29,707 --> 00:50:32,574
-Lots of luck, Sam.
-Take it away, Sam, baby. lt's all yours.
799
00:50:32,643 --> 00:50:34,133
-Good luck, Sam.
-Thank you.
800
00:50:34,211 --> 00:50:36,304
Go on in. lt's your office.
801
00:50:40,818 --> 00:50:43,378
-Where are you, Sam?
-How do you like this?
802
00:50:44,188 --> 00:50:47,157
Come on, come on. Sit down, sit down.
lt's all yours.
803
00:50:47,224 --> 00:50:48,555
Thank you.
804
00:50:49,893 --> 00:50:51,588
Here you are, Sam.
805
00:50:51,662 --> 00:50:53,653
-Executive cigar?
-Sure.
806
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:57,792
Go ahead, put your feet up
on the desk there, Sam.
807
00:50:57,868 --> 00:51:01,429
Just like you own the place.
Go on, get them up there, boy.
808
00:51:06,009 --> 00:51:08,034
Where are your socks, Sam?
809
00:51:10,748 --> 00:51:14,309
-lt's kind of hard to explain.
-That's all right.
810
00:51:14,385 --> 00:51:16,546
You don't have to explain to me.
l understand.
811
00:51:16,620 --> 00:51:20,317
l know how tough it is to make ends meet
when you've got a growing family,
812
00:51:20,391 --> 00:51:22,120
but we're gonna take care of that, too.
813
00:51:22,192 --> 00:51:26,856
There's a very nice raise
going into effect for you, starting today.
814
00:51:29,266 --> 00:51:31,291
All right, boys, let's get back to work,
shall we?
815
00:51:31,368 --> 00:51:33,768
-Cheers!
-Lots of luck, lots of luck, Sam.
816
00:51:37,241 --> 00:51:41,644
-Crank up on that Nurdlinger account, huh?
-Yes, sir, crank. And thank you again.
817
00:51:41,845 --> 00:51:44,336
Congratulations, Mr. Bissell, on the new job.
818
00:51:44,415 --> 00:51:46,781
-Thank you, Marsha.
-They assigned me to you.
819
00:51:46,850 --> 00:51:49,250
-That's nice.
-Can l do anything?
820
00:51:49,319 --> 00:51:52,686
Yeah. You could get Mrs. Bissell for me
on the phone, if you would, please.
821
00:51:52,756 --> 00:51:53,745
Thank you.
822
00:52:16,380 --> 00:52:19,474
-Mr, Bissell?
-Yes?
823
00:52:20,651 --> 00:52:24,109
-Your wife is on one, sir,
-Thank you.
824
00:52:26,824 --> 00:52:28,189
Hi, honey.
825
00:52:30,427 --> 00:52:32,088
Sorry, Mr. Burke.
826
00:52:34,164 --> 00:52:38,794
No, you're on the dictograph,
She's on the telephone, line one,
827
00:52:38,869 --> 00:52:40,234
Thank you.
828
00:52:42,172 --> 00:52:45,539
Hello. Hi, honey. Who was who?
829
00:52:46,243 --> 00:52:49,770
That was my secretary.
Yeah, my new secretary.
830
00:52:49,847 --> 00:52:52,941
l got a secretary now. l got a new office.
l got a raise.
831
00:52:53,016 --> 00:52:54,278
You should see this office.
lt's got everything.
832
00:52:54,351 --> 00:52:58,185
lt's got windows, everything. What?
Celebrate tonight?
833
00:52:59,590 --> 00:53:04,391
Yeah, well, l wanted to tell you.
A very peculiar thing happened
834
00:53:04,461 --> 00:53:08,727
on the way. lt's... l'm sure you'll understand.
You'll laugh when l tell you what it is.
835
00:53:09,266 --> 00:53:11,734
l don't know why you didn't just tell him
the simple truth.
836
00:53:11,802 --> 00:53:14,168
Well, dear, wait, l told you before.
837
00:53:14,238 --> 00:53:16,433
lt's just that you don't know Nurdlinger,
and he's a strange fellow.
838
00:53:16,507 --> 00:53:18,566
He's kind of a nut
about fidelity and marriage...
839
00:53:18,642 --> 00:53:21,736
l got it. This is the part l can do.
And he isn't ever gonna understand
840
00:53:21,812 --> 00:53:23,973
that beautiful friend of yours
kissing me like that.
841
00:53:24,047 --> 00:53:26,572
There's Janet. Now, look, dear,
we've just got to try and be reasonable,
842
00:53:26,650 --> 00:53:28,015
-all right?
-Well, l am trying to be reasonable,
843
00:53:28,085 --> 00:53:29,552
but it's awfully difficult to understand
844
00:53:29,620 --> 00:53:31,918
how you let yourself
get in this absurd position.
845
00:53:31,989 --> 00:53:35,425
-Look, honey, will you...
-l know. l'm trying to be reasonable.
846
00:53:35,492 --> 00:53:38,325
-l'm not succeeding, but l'm trying.
-All right.
847
00:53:38,395 --> 00:53:40,761
Min, l'm really sorry about all this.
848
00:53:40,831 --> 00:53:43,925
l wouldn't do anything to upset you or Sam
for a million dollars.
849
00:53:44,001 --> 00:53:46,401
-On the other hand, for $15 million...
-Min.
850
00:53:46,470 --> 00:53:50,065
l'm sorry. l didn't mean that. Really l didn't.
l'm fine, just fine.
851
00:53:50,140 --> 00:53:51,903
-You'd better hurry or you're gonna be late.
-Yeah, okay.
852
00:53:51,975 --> 00:53:55,240
-Bye. Let's go. l'll drive.
-Okay. We'll hurry, darling. l'm sorry.
853
00:53:55,312 --> 00:53:58,440
We'll get out of there
just as fast as possible.
854
00:53:58,515 --> 00:54:00,278
-You both look real nice.
-Yeah.
855
00:54:00,350 --> 00:54:01,408
Bye.
856
00:54:05,956 --> 00:54:08,356
Bye. Have a good time.
857
00:54:27,110 --> 00:54:32,571
My woman's club is starting a purge
on the evil, obscene publications
858
00:54:32,649 --> 00:54:36,278
which litter our libraries
and our newsstands.
859
00:54:36,353 --> 00:54:39,811
l'd love to have Mrs. Bissell join us
next Thursday
860
00:54:39,890 --> 00:54:42,791
for our weekly book-burning if she's free.
861
00:54:43,126 --> 00:54:45,526
Gee, l'm sure
she'd just love it, Mrs. Nurdlinger,
862
00:54:45,596 --> 00:54:49,157
but Thursday, l think,
is her church bingo committee.
863
00:54:49,232 --> 00:54:53,100
-l don't believe in gambling.
-They play for jelly beans.
864
00:54:54,371 --> 00:54:56,339
Well, that's different.
865
00:54:58,008 --> 00:55:01,466
You know, a man needs a foundation
on which to build an immaculate life.
866
00:55:01,545 --> 00:55:03,206
Mrs. Nurdlinger and l,
867
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:07,774
we detest the philanderer
and the infidelity which some men live by.
868
00:55:07,851 --> 00:55:09,182
Oh, yes, so do Sam and l.
869
00:55:09,252 --> 00:55:12,244
You wouldn't believe
some of the degenerate pursuits
870
00:55:12,322 --> 00:55:15,018
of some of the people in our society.
871
00:55:15,092 --> 00:55:18,391
But God will deal with the whoremonger
and the profligate.
872
00:55:18,462 --> 00:55:19,724
Their days are numbered.
873
00:55:19,796 --> 00:55:22,094
-lsaiah, verse six.
-Amen.
874
00:56:12,449 --> 00:56:14,815
l have my key, Sam. Thank you.
See you tomorrow.
875
00:56:14,885 --> 00:56:15,909
-Okay.
-Good night.
876
00:56:15,986 --> 00:56:17,510
Good night, Jan.
877
00:56:43,213 --> 00:56:47,343
-Sam! Someone's at the door!
-What? What is wrong, what?
878
00:56:47,417 --> 00:56:49,476
-lt's only me, Janet.
-What is it?
879
00:56:49,553 --> 00:56:51,612
-Don't turn the lights on.
-l can't see anybody.
880
00:56:51,688 --> 00:56:52,882
-Sam!
-Wait till l turn on the light.
881
00:56:52,956 --> 00:56:53,945
-No!
-What?
882
00:56:54,024 --> 00:56:57,755
Don't turn the lights on.
There's a truck in front of your house.
883
00:56:57,828 --> 00:57:01,958
lt's been there for hours. Come and see.
Come and see. Fast, quick.
884
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:04,833
Well, here we are in the middle of the night.
885
00:57:04,901 --> 00:57:06,528
We're gonna go and see a truck.
lsn't that nice?
886
00:57:13,210 --> 00:57:15,610
-See, there it is. l told you.
-Well, that's right. lt's a truck.
887
00:57:15,679 --> 00:57:17,704
Probably a guy sitting there
parked with his girl.
888
00:57:17,781 --> 00:57:20,375
Not on a residential street.
Can you read what it says on the truck?
889
00:57:20,450 --> 00:57:24,113
Yes.
lt's a Brookfield Vacuum Cleaner Company.
890
00:57:24,187 --> 00:57:28,647
Brookfield, Brookfield... There is no
Brookfield Vacuum Cleaner Company.
891
00:57:28,725 --> 00:57:33,287
l knew it. lt's a private investigator. l'm sure.
You remember, my lawyers warned us.
892
00:57:33,363 --> 00:57:35,126
Gee, this is kind of spooky, isn't it?
893
00:57:35,198 --> 00:57:38,759
l wonder what a private investigator
thinks he's gonna see from out there?
894
00:57:38,835 --> 00:57:41,599
Well, that's very simple. For one thing,
895
00:57:41,671 --> 00:57:45,835
he wants to see my husband to come,
tomorrow morning, out of my door.
896
00:57:47,511 --> 00:57:49,274
Oh, no, not again.
897
00:57:49,346 --> 00:57:51,814
Wait just a minute, Sam.
We've gone this far. We can't quit now.
898
00:57:51,882 --> 00:57:53,349
Well, look, it's getting light outside.
899
00:57:53,416 --> 00:57:57,147
And if there's anybody out in that truck,
he's gonna see me when l try to cross over.
900
00:57:57,220 --> 00:57:59,188
l'm afraid he's right.
901
00:58:00,157 --> 00:58:02,523
Wait a minute. Of course.
902
00:58:02,626 --> 00:58:06,255
There's a very simple way to get Sam across
to your house without being seen.
903
00:58:06,329 --> 00:58:08,024
What are you gonna do,
shoot me out of a cannon, dear?
904
00:58:08,098 --> 00:58:10,157
Don't be silly, dear.
We don't even have a cannon.
905
00:58:10,233 --> 00:58:11,723
l have a much better idea.
906
00:58:39,196 --> 00:58:43,565
-Come on, Sam. We're ready. Come on.
-Dear, l absolutely refuse to do this.
907
00:58:47,704 --> 00:58:51,140
-Barney. Barney, go home, sweetie.
-Don't drop me.
908
00:59:08,158 --> 00:59:11,616
Barney, get off! Go on. Are we there yet?
909
00:59:11,695 --> 00:59:14,528
-Be still. We're still hanging up clothes.
-Hurry up!
910
00:59:24,207 --> 00:59:27,608
-Wait. We're here. Barney!
-Sam, get up.
911
00:59:27,777 --> 00:59:30,974
''There's a very simple way to get Sam
over to your house without being seen.''
912
00:59:31,047 --> 00:59:34,278
-Here, you forgot your pants.
-Thank you very much.
913
00:59:34,885 --> 00:59:36,352
-lf you don't mind my saying so...
-Your shoes.
914
00:59:36,419 --> 00:59:39,877
...this is without question the most
ridiculous thing that l've ever heard of!
915
00:59:53,937 --> 00:59:54,995
Morning, Joe.
916
00:59:55,071 --> 00:59:56,868
Good morning, Harry.
How are you this morning?
917
00:59:56,940 --> 00:59:58,032
Okay.
918
00:59:59,676 --> 01:00:01,439
Morning, Mr. Palma, Mr. Ray.
919
01:00:01,511 --> 01:00:03,877
-Good morning, Mrs. Bissell.
-Morning, Mrs. Bissell.
920
01:00:09,119 --> 01:00:13,556
-Good morning, Mr. Ebbets, Jan.
-Hi, dear... Mrs. Bissell.
921
01:00:17,794 --> 01:00:21,890
-l forgot my socks again.
-We're being watched. Can't you feel it?
922
01:00:42,085 --> 01:00:45,714
-How's it going, Taragon?
-Getting some sensational shots, Mr. Burke.
923
01:00:45,789 --> 01:00:47,882
-Real weirdoes.
-No, no, wait.
924
01:00:47,958 --> 01:00:52,691
Nurdlinger does not want weirdoes.
Normal, everyday people, Harry.
925
01:00:53,196 --> 01:00:56,495
l got you. Here's a normal, everyday couple.
926
01:00:59,102 --> 01:01:01,002
No, no. Taragon, Taragon.
927
01:01:02,105 --> 01:01:03,732
They're too normal.
928
01:01:04,074 --> 01:01:08,602
Clean-cut types are what we want.
Average, clean-cut Americans, Taragon.
929
01:01:08,979 --> 01:01:11,880
There! There you are.
930
01:01:12,816 --> 01:01:17,014
Now there's a healthy,
clean-cut attractive man and wife.
931
01:01:17,087 --> 01:01:19,954
But that's Mr. Bissell. That wouldn't be fair.
932
01:01:20,190 --> 01:01:23,387
So he works for us.
What difference does it make?
933
01:01:23,460 --> 01:01:27,328
There is your average, plain,
everyday husband and wife.
934
01:01:27,397 --> 01:01:30,628
Now stop talking and take your pictures.
l'll see you later.
935
01:01:34,537 --> 01:01:37,665
Listen, Min and you,
you've been so absolutely wonderful to me
936
01:01:37,741 --> 01:01:40,107
-that there's something l'd like to do.
-What's that?
937
01:01:40,176 --> 01:01:44,203
As soon as l get my inheritance,
l'm going to give you $1 million.
938
01:01:44,681 --> 01:01:48,344
-You're gonna what?
-l'm going to give you $1 million.
939
01:01:48,418 --> 01:01:50,443
-You...
-But listen, if it hadn't been for you and Min,
940
01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:53,421
l would never have got the $15 million.
You know that's true.
941
01:01:53,490 --> 01:01:54,752
-Well, well...
-Well, l don't want any discussions
942
01:01:54,824 --> 01:01:57,657
and no arguments.
Anyway, the whole thing is settled.
943
01:01:57,727 --> 01:02:00,958
l'm going to Mellner's office right now
and make the arrangements.
944
01:02:01,031 --> 01:02:04,762
-Yeah, well, l don't know what to say.
-Don't say anything then.
945
01:02:04,834 --> 01:02:08,998
lf we just get through the next few days,
we'll all be millionaires.
946
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:11,632
See you tonight.
947
01:02:22,519 --> 01:02:25,317
-l don't like that.
-Well, this one has a lot of decency.
948
01:02:25,388 --> 01:02:27,288
-That's terrible.
-How about this?
949
01:02:27,357 --> 01:02:29,120
-Here's the norm, Harve.
-Terrible.
950
01:02:29,192 --> 01:02:32,821
-Here's the norm.
-Terrible. Terrible. They are all terrible.
951
01:02:32,896 --> 01:02:36,024
Not one of them typifies the clean-cut spirit
of this campaign.
952
01:02:36,099 --> 01:02:37,726
Am l right, Sam? Sam? Sam?
953
01:02:39,536 --> 01:02:41,231
-Sir?
-Would you please explain
954
01:02:41,304 --> 01:02:44,569
to these dunderheads, for the 10,000th time,
955
01:02:44,641 --> 01:02:48,668
the kind of people we want to see up here
on this billboard?
956
01:02:48,745 --> 01:02:51,805
Plain, simple, clean-cut,
ordinary, everyday millionaires.
957
01:02:51,881 --> 01:02:55,476
-What?
-People. Average, nice-looking people.
958
01:02:57,253 --> 01:03:00,916
-There you are, fellas. Thanks, Sam.
-All right.
959
01:03:18,241 --> 01:03:20,300
Mrs. Ebbets isn't home.
960
01:03:20,910 --> 01:03:22,741
-Hello.
-Can l help you?
961
01:03:22,812 --> 01:03:24,609
Well, maybe. Who are you?
962
01:03:24,681 --> 01:03:27,047
lt's none of your business,
but l'm the next-door neighbor.
963
01:03:27,117 --> 01:03:30,450
Well, how do you do? l wonder
if you could tell me when she'll be back?
964
01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:34,456
Well, l don't know. She went into the city
to pick up her husband.
965
01:03:34,524 --> 01:03:36,856
-Her husband?
-Yeah, her husband.
966
01:03:36,926 --> 01:03:39,394
He lives here with her,
like any normal married couple.
967
01:03:39,462 --> 01:03:43,762
Look, lady, l don't know who this joker is,
but he's not her husband.
968
01:03:43,833 --> 01:03:44,891
Well, he is so, too.
969
01:03:44,968 --> 01:03:46,367
And you'd better stop fooling
around their house
970
01:03:46,436 --> 01:03:50,770
-or l am going to call the police.
-Take it easy, lady. Take it easy. l'm leaving.
971
01:03:52,542 --> 01:03:55,841
l wonder if you'd give the happy couple
a message for me.
972
01:03:55,912 --> 01:04:00,315
Would you tell them l'll be back tonight
and fix both their wagons?
973
01:04:42,025 --> 01:04:46,052
Hello? Sam, l'm so glad you called.
l have so much to tell you.
974
01:04:47,664 --> 01:04:49,359
You are kidding. Break into Janet's house?
975
01:04:49,432 --> 01:04:50,956
-Well, what did he look like?
-What is it?
976
01:04:51,034 --> 01:04:54,970
She saw that private investigator
trying to break in your house here.
977
01:04:55,038 --> 01:04:58,337
He says l'm not married to you.
He'll be back tonight to fix our wagons.
978
01:04:58,408 --> 01:05:01,070
-Sam, l'm scared.
-Yeah, look, Janet's scared, dear.
979
01:05:01,144 --> 01:05:03,169
l'd better...
l'll be over as soon as it gets dark.
980
01:05:03,246 --> 01:05:05,544
l'll sneak over then.
l gotta hang up. My wife is waiting.
981
01:05:05,848 --> 01:05:06,872
Your what?
982
01:05:07,116 --> 01:05:11,075
Ostensibly, dear. Ostensibly.
l'll be over as soon as it's dark.
983
01:05:11,354 --> 01:05:13,618
Sam, l'm really frightened.
What do we do if he shows up?
984
01:05:13,690 --> 01:05:16,750
-Don't worry. l'm here, and l'll protect you.
-But you said you'd go home
985
01:05:16,826 --> 01:05:20,387
-when it gets dark.
-Well, just to say hello. l'll be back.
986
01:05:20,463 --> 01:05:22,124
Sam, l really hate to impose on you,
987
01:05:22,198 --> 01:05:27,295
but could you please stay tonight
with me here?
988
01:05:28,171 --> 01:05:32,232
-Yeah, l guess l'd better.
-Thank you. You're a darling.
989
01:05:32,976 --> 01:05:35,274
Now, let's see.
lt won't be dark for a couple of hours.
990
01:05:35,345 --> 01:05:37,609
What do we do? We'll have to kill some time.
991
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:39,773
What do you usually do
when you come home from work?
992
01:05:39,849 --> 01:05:41,612
Well, Min usually makes me a martini.
993
01:05:41,684 --> 01:05:44,517
All right, l make you a martini.
Get comfortable.
994
01:06:07,176 --> 01:06:10,509
Sam, aren't you supposed
to dance beside me?
995
01:06:10,613 --> 01:06:13,946
No, no. We can dance couples,
freelance, any old thing.
996
01:06:14,550 --> 01:06:15,915
All right.
997
01:06:29,699 --> 01:06:33,658
-Hey, what are you doing?
-Steak! Cha-cha-cha.
998
01:06:33,736 --> 01:06:35,328
Steak. Cha-cha-cha.
999
01:06:43,479 --> 01:06:47,279
-A little bit more steak? Potatoes or peas?
-l'm full, really.
1000
01:06:47,350 --> 01:06:50,148
-lt was just marvelous. Thank you.
-Sam, Min! What's the time?
1001
01:06:50,219 --> 01:06:51,982
9:00. Excuse me.
1002
01:06:57,927 --> 01:06:59,292
Be careful.
1003
01:07:01,631 --> 01:07:03,531
Thanks for dinner.
l'll see you in a little while.
1004
01:07:03,633 --> 01:07:05,123
See you later.
1005
01:07:13,910 --> 01:07:15,036
Honey.
1006
01:07:17,113 --> 01:07:18,478
Hi.
1007
01:07:23,086 --> 01:07:25,054
Gee, l'm sorry l'm late.
1008
01:07:28,958 --> 01:07:34,123
-Well, l had to wait till it was dark, dear.
-lt was pitch black at 8:18.
1009
01:07:34,197 --> 01:07:36,097
What have you been doing
all this time, anyway?
1010
01:07:36,165 --> 01:07:41,125
Well, just trying to kill time.
lt's not easy, you know.
1011
01:07:41,204 --> 01:07:44,935
-Jan and l don't have much in common.
-l heard music.
1012
01:07:47,877 --> 01:07:51,335
Finally, out of sheer boredom,
she put on some records. That's all.
1013
01:07:51,414 --> 01:07:53,041
And then went in and cooked dinner.
1014
01:07:53,116 --> 01:07:54,378
-Dinner?
-Yeah.
1015
01:07:54,450 --> 01:07:57,942
Sam, don't tell me you've eaten
after l fixed the casserole?
1016
01:07:59,155 --> 01:08:02,886
She's eaten. She was cooking just for her.
l'm starving to death, dear.
1017
01:08:02,959 --> 01:08:05,223
Okay, honey. Sit down.
1018
01:08:05,294 --> 01:08:07,353
-Yeah.
-Here are the rolls.
1019
01:08:11,768 --> 01:08:14,168
A little burned, aren't they?
1020
01:08:14,237 --> 01:08:16,603
They've been sitting in the oven for an hour.
1021
01:08:20,476 --> 01:08:24,606
Your favorite dish. Macaroni casserole.
1022
01:08:31,354 --> 01:08:35,791
-Thick heavy layer of mozzarella cheese.
-Just the way you like it.
1023
01:08:36,225 --> 01:08:40,286
Boy. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
1024
01:08:41,798 --> 01:08:43,493
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
1025
01:08:48,871 --> 01:08:51,396
A bit of crust here. You like that.
1026
01:08:54,377 --> 01:08:56,174
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
1027
01:08:58,347 --> 01:09:00,110
That's plenty.
1028
01:09:24,073 --> 01:09:25,700
You sure you don't want some more, honey?
1029
01:09:25,775 --> 01:09:28,573
You'll ruin it. Be gilding the lily.
1030
01:09:29,812 --> 01:09:32,872
-Do you really think we could take it?
-What?
1031
01:09:32,949 --> 01:09:34,974
The million dollars
that Janet wants to give us.
1032
01:09:35,051 --> 01:09:36,985
l mean, wouldn't you feel funny?
1033
01:09:37,053 --> 01:09:40,580
Well, it's just a million... lt's a million,
but she's got 15 million, so what's one?
1034
01:09:40,656 --> 01:09:45,093
Yeah, but, l mean,
here we are sitting in the kitchen, eating,
1035
01:09:45,161 --> 01:09:49,063
-and then, all of a sudden, we got $1 million.
-l know, but she insists.
1036
01:09:49,131 --> 01:09:53,329
And the lawyers said it's rightfully hers,
and all we're trying to do is help her out.
1037
01:09:53,402 --> 01:09:54,926
And they're making a lot of trouble,
1038
01:09:55,004 --> 01:09:57,234
-and l'm not her husband really...
-No, you're not.
1039
01:09:57,306 --> 01:09:58,671
lt's a technicality.
1040
01:09:58,741 --> 01:10:00,732
And think of all of the things
you always wanted.
1041
01:10:00,810 --> 01:10:03,244
-You know, a mink coat.
-Yeah.
1042
01:10:03,846 --> 01:10:07,304
Well, it's just too fantastic.
l can't think about it.
1043
01:10:10,353 --> 01:10:14,449
-Dear? Delicious.
-Thank you.
1044
01:10:16,826 --> 01:10:18,418
Excuse me, dear.
1045
01:10:20,096 --> 01:10:22,587
Hello? Hi, Jan.
1046
01:10:23,533 --> 01:10:26,969
Yeah. Okay, l'll send him right over. Bye.
1047
01:10:27,503 --> 01:10:30,165
lt's Janet. She's getting scared again.
1048
01:10:30,239 --> 01:10:32,969
Here's your toothbrush, honey,
and your razor and your socks
1049
01:10:33,042 --> 01:10:34,134
and a clean shirt.
1050
01:10:34,210 --> 01:10:36,474
Now listen, honey.
lf that man shows up tonight, be careful.
1051
01:10:36,546 --> 01:10:38,480
-Don't fight.
-Don't worry. l'm not afraid of him.
1052
01:10:38,548 --> 01:10:41,517
-l know, but just be careful.
-Yeah. Good night, love.
1053
01:10:41,584 --> 01:10:44,849
lsn't this awful?
Here l am kissing you good night,
1054
01:10:44,921 --> 01:10:47,355
and you're going across
to spend the night with another woman.
1055
01:10:47,423 --> 01:10:50,187
A very attractive woman. Be careful.
1056
01:10:50,259 --> 01:10:53,490
-l told you l'm not afraid of him.
-l don't mean him. l mean her.
1057
01:10:53,563 --> 01:10:57,363
-Dear! She's your best friend.
-l know. l'm sorry.
1058
01:10:57,433 --> 01:11:01,164
-Okay. Good night, dear. l love you.
-Good night. l love you.
1059
01:11:02,905 --> 01:11:05,032
-Bye-bye.
-Remember to sleep on your left side
1060
01:11:05,107 --> 01:11:06,904
-so you don't snore.
-l will. Goodbye.
1061
01:11:19,188 --> 01:11:20,951
Hi, Min. Thank you.
1062
01:11:22,625 --> 01:11:24,092
Good night.
1063
01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:26,185
-What did you say?
-Nothing. Sorry.
1064
01:11:26,262 --> 01:11:27,991
Lock the door, Sam.
1065
01:11:38,574 --> 01:11:39,973
Sam, l fixed your bed in here.
1066
01:11:40,042 --> 01:11:42,602
-ls that all right for you?
-Yeah, perfect. Thanks.
1067
01:11:43,145 --> 01:11:44,669
What do we do if he shows up?
1068
01:11:44,747 --> 01:11:47,545
Well, don't worry about that.
That's what l'm here for.
1069
01:11:47,617 --> 01:11:49,209
All right.
1070
01:11:49,285 --> 01:11:52,721
Here's a pair of my husband's pajamas
and the towels.
1071
01:11:52,788 --> 01:11:55,814
The bathroom is there.
lf you need anything else, just help yourself.
1072
01:11:55,891 --> 01:11:59,122
-Fine, fine.
-And thank you. l do appreciate that.
1073
01:11:59,195 --> 01:12:01,220
You're the sweetest man l've ever known.
1074
01:12:01,297 --> 01:12:02,696
-Good night. Sleep well.
-Good night.
1075
01:12:02,765 --> 01:12:04,096
Thank you.
1076
01:12:10,106 --> 01:12:12,700
Now, no wonder their marriage broke up.
1077
01:13:17,673 --> 01:13:19,573
Well, it's all Min's fault.
1078
01:13:27,316 --> 01:13:31,685
''Be careful,'' she says.
Well, it's a direct insult. Be careful.
1079
01:13:34,590 --> 01:13:39,584
Everybody knows what kind of a man l am,
for heaven's sake. l'm a family man. Decent.
1080
01:13:42,031 --> 01:13:43,999
l wonder why she left her door open?
1081
01:14:05,755 --> 01:14:07,518
Where are you going?
1082
01:14:08,657 --> 01:14:12,889
You wouldn't understand these things, Sam.
Lie back and live clean.
1083
01:14:43,659 --> 01:14:46,423
-Can't get to sleep, can you, my dear?
-No.
1084
01:14:47,997 --> 01:14:50,227
l don't know what it is, Sam.
1085
01:14:50,299 --> 01:14:52,460
-You don't?
-No.
1086
01:14:52,535 --> 01:14:53,866
l do.
1087
01:14:55,070 --> 01:14:58,471
-And so do you.
-No, Sam, l don't know. l...
1088
01:14:58,541 --> 01:15:03,535
-Yes.
-l don't... No! No! No! No! No!
1089
01:15:15,991 --> 01:15:18,323
l didn't do anything. l didn't do anything.
1090
01:15:25,301 --> 01:15:29,260
-Didn't do it. Didn't do it! Didn't! Didn't!
-Sam! You...
1091
01:15:30,072 --> 01:15:32,438
l didn't do it. Didn't do it!
1092
01:15:33,742 --> 01:15:34,800
You philanderer!
1093
01:15:35,377 --> 01:15:38,938
No! No! No! lt's not true.
1094
01:15:39,014 --> 01:15:42,472
l'm a plain, ordinary,
everyday, clean-living family man.
1095
01:15:43,252 --> 01:15:45,015
Oh, no.
1096
01:15:45,087 --> 01:15:48,989
She's lying in there thinking
that l'm gonna come barging in on her.
1097
01:15:49,058 --> 01:15:50,958
Oh, no. Oh, no, no.
1098
01:15:51,026 --> 01:15:54,086
l'd better just slip in there and tell her
that she's got nothing to worry about.
1099
01:15:54,163 --> 01:15:56,961
l'd never do a thing like that.
She's perfectly all right.
1100
01:15:57,633 --> 01:16:01,000
Jan! Jan!
Jan, listen, l just want you to know
1101
01:16:01,070 --> 01:16:02,560
l would never crash in here
in the middle of the night
1102
01:16:02,638 --> 01:16:04,333
and take advantage of the situation,
for the world.
1103
01:16:04,406 --> 01:16:06,897
-But, Sam...
-l mean, even if l wanted to. Which l don't.
1104
01:16:06,976 --> 01:16:09,672
-No, you don't. But, Sam, what happened?
-l mean, actually,
1105
01:16:09,745 --> 01:16:11,975
it's just something that Min dreamed up.
1106
01:16:12,314 --> 01:16:14,908
l'll explain to Min
that you behaved like a perfect gentleman.
1107
01:16:14,984 --> 01:16:18,647
-Everything is all right.
-Thank you. Thank you.
1108
01:16:20,656 --> 01:16:22,624
Sam, Sam, that's him.
1109
01:16:24,460 --> 01:16:26,121
Sam. Sam.
1110
01:16:32,268 --> 01:16:33,667
Be careful.
1111
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:39,194
Sam!
1112
01:17:40,803 --> 01:17:43,271
Look out, please. Don't let him hurt you.
1113
01:17:47,376 --> 01:17:48,934
-Okay, Sam, hold him.
-l got him!
1114
01:17:49,011 --> 01:17:50,740
-Hold him, Sam! Hold him!
-l still got him!
1115
01:17:50,813 --> 01:17:52,906
-l still got him.
-Howie!
1116
01:17:52,982 --> 01:17:54,711
Sam, let him up. lt's my husband.
1117
01:17:54,783 --> 01:17:56,580
-Your what?
-lt's my husband!
1118
01:17:56,652 --> 01:17:59,416
-l'm sorry. l didn't know.
-Sam!
1119
01:17:59,488 --> 01:18:00,955
-Sam, Sam.
-l'm sorry.
1120
01:18:01,490 --> 01:18:02,821
-lt's your husband.
-Sam, are you all right?
1121
01:18:02,891 --> 01:18:04,825
-Yes. Are you all right?
-l didn't know...
1122
01:18:04,893 --> 01:18:09,091
-Tell me. Did you hurt yourself?
-Who in the living hell is he?
1123
01:18:09,465 --> 01:18:11,399
l'm sorry. l'm trying to help Janet.
1124
01:18:11,467 --> 01:18:13,196
-Help her?
-Yes, he helped me.
1125
01:18:13,268 --> 01:18:15,600
l'll bet he's been helping you.
You look like you've been helping her,
1126
01:18:15,671 --> 01:18:18,868
you in pajamas and you in a nightgown.
1127
01:18:18,941 --> 01:18:23,002
What do you mean?
What an absolutely despicable remark.
1128
01:18:23,479 --> 01:18:25,538
How dare you? Apologize this instant!
1129
01:18:25,614 --> 01:18:26,706
-Apologize?
-Yes.
1130
01:18:26,782 --> 01:18:28,181
l come here in the middle of the night
1131
01:18:28,250 --> 01:18:31,617
and find some ape in fluorescent pajamas
with my wife in a nightgown.
1132
01:18:31,687 --> 01:18:32,847
Well, of course l'm in a nightgown.
1133
01:18:32,921 --> 01:18:35,446
What else would l be wearing
in the middle of the night? An overcoat?
1134
01:18:35,524 --> 01:18:36,582
Maybe you ought to be.
1135
01:18:36,658 --> 01:18:39,855
All alone with this idiot
and his moronic trick-or-treat pajamas.
1136
01:18:39,928 --> 01:18:42,158
lt is entirely your fault
that he had to be here at all.
1137
01:18:42,231 --> 01:18:43,255
-My fault?
-Yes!
1138
01:18:43,332 --> 01:18:45,732
l just gave him one of your old pajamas
which you never wore.
1139
01:18:45,801 --> 01:18:49,396
-Wait. Those are my pajamas.
-Yes.
1140
01:18:49,872 --> 01:18:52,739
Why, those are the pajamas you bought me
the weekend we drove to Carmel.
1141
01:18:52,808 --> 01:18:54,332
And now you give them to this gigolo?
1142
01:18:54,943 --> 01:18:57,537
Don't get all sentimental
over a pair of pajamas.
1143
01:18:57,613 --> 01:19:00,741
-Anyway, what are you doing here?
-l came here today to talk to you.
1144
01:19:00,816 --> 01:19:02,306
-Why didn't you?
-You weren't here.
1145
01:19:02,384 --> 01:19:03,408
Why didn't you wait?
1146
01:19:03,485 --> 01:19:06,852
Because that hysterical snoop next door
caught me and was gonna call the police.
1147
01:19:06,922 --> 01:19:11,256
-Don't call my wife a snoop.
-Your wife?
1148
01:19:11,827 --> 01:19:14,660
Yes, his wife.
And she also is my best friend,
1149
01:19:14,730 --> 01:19:16,857
and she kindly loaned me
the use of her husband
1150
01:19:16,932 --> 01:19:20,459
to make it look like l'm happily married,
which l never was with the likes of you.
1151
01:19:20,536 --> 01:19:22,163
-Now, now, just a moment...
-Yeah, but explain that...
1152
01:19:22,237 --> 01:19:25,229
Wait, wait. Please, let me...
Let me clarify this.
1153
01:19:25,741 --> 01:19:30,201
My wife loaned me, so to speak, to Janet,
but only so that she would qualify
1154
01:19:30,279 --> 01:19:32,304
to get her inheritance
under her grandfather's will, you see.
1155
01:19:32,381 --> 01:19:34,349
See, $15 million she gets.
1156
01:19:36,218 --> 01:19:39,346
-$15 million?
-Yes.
1157
01:19:39,721 --> 01:19:43,020
-And don't pretend you didn't know.
-Well, no, l...
1158
01:19:43,092 --> 01:19:47,654
lt dawns on me why you suddenly
showed up out of nowhere,
1159
01:19:47,729 --> 01:19:50,323
you moneygrubbing, dreadful man.
1160
01:19:50,399 --> 01:19:51,991
-No, no, no, no, listen, Janet.
-No.
1161
01:19:52,067 --> 01:19:55,298
-Janet, l... Janet, you are wrong.
-Of course l'm wrong, yes.
1162
01:19:55,370 --> 01:19:58,237
Janet, l swear l didn't know a thing
about this inheritance
1163
01:19:58,307 --> 01:19:59,774
until this very minute.
1164
01:19:59,842 --> 01:20:04,939
-lt's not money l came after. lt's you.
-Get out of here right now.
1165
01:20:05,013 --> 01:20:06,878
Listen, if you think l'm leaving
in the middle of the night
1166
01:20:06,949 --> 01:20:08,507
while my wife is in a nightgown
1167
01:20:08,584 --> 01:20:11,075
and this guy is in my pajamas,
you are crazy.
1168
01:20:11,153 --> 01:20:14,145
lf you get in that pajamas routine
once more, l'll scream!
1169
01:20:14,223 --> 01:20:18,091
-And l am not your wife! Now, get out.
-Are you kidding? l'm not leaving.
1170
01:20:18,627 --> 01:20:21,790
All right. Sam, please throw him out.
1171
01:20:22,965 --> 01:20:25,433
Yeah. Yeah, come on. Come on, Pajamas.
1172
01:20:25,501 --> 01:20:28,493
Throw me out now that you can't
jump me from behind. Come on.
1173
01:20:30,439 --> 01:20:31,531
Come on.
1174
01:20:38,780 --> 01:20:40,543
Why don't you settle
your own domestic quarrels?
1175
01:20:40,616 --> 01:20:43,380
lt's none of my business. l'm going back
to my own bed and my own house.
1176
01:20:43,452 --> 01:20:45,943
Oh, no! No, no, you can't do that to me. No.
1177
01:20:46,021 --> 01:20:47,716
You know that the detective
is watching this morning,
1178
01:20:47,789 --> 01:20:50,781
and what would he think?
He saw you this evening come in my house
1179
01:20:50,859 --> 01:20:53,293
and then tomorrow morning,
he'll see you leaving from your house.
1180
01:20:53,362 --> 01:20:58,356
No, please. lt's just only that one more time.
And it's only one hour to daylight.
1181
01:20:58,433 --> 01:21:02,335
Please, Sam, please. Please stay on.
Do it for me.
1182
01:21:07,576 --> 01:21:09,544
Hey, Pajamas?
1183
01:21:12,080 --> 01:21:13,445
You awake?
1184
01:21:14,349 --> 01:21:16,909
Old Jan was really mad out there
in the kitchen, wasn't she?
1185
01:21:16,985 --> 01:21:20,887
All that yelling and screaming,
sure gave me a nostalgic feeling.
1186
01:21:20,956 --> 01:21:23,652
Almost like we were still married.
1187
01:21:23,725 --> 01:21:25,283
You know,
some of the happiest days of my life
1188
01:21:25,360 --> 01:21:28,090
were spent fighting with that little girl.
1189
01:21:28,163 --> 01:21:32,099
lf you insist
on clumping down memory lane,
1190
01:21:32,167 --> 01:21:34,658
would you do it, please, more quietly?
1191
01:21:34,736 --> 01:21:37,705
When l say fights,
l don't just mean arguments.
1192
01:21:37,773 --> 01:21:39,866
l mean knock-down, drag-out fights.
1193
01:21:39,975 --> 01:21:41,840
Why, she's got a left hook. lt's beautiful.
1194
01:21:41,910 --> 01:21:45,641
l got a spot right here on my arm,
she used to nail me three out of five times.
1195
01:21:49,384 --> 01:21:51,978
You through? Look, l don't know about you,
1196
01:21:52,054 --> 01:21:54,045
but l have to get up in the morning
and go to work.
1197
01:21:54,122 --> 01:21:56,215
-Yeah, yeah, l know. So do l.
-Good, good.
1198
01:21:56,291 --> 01:22:00,694
Well, then why don't you just
get out of here now, while it's still dark?
1199
01:22:01,363 --> 01:22:02,796
Where am l supposed to go?
1200
01:22:02,864 --> 01:22:07,028
Well, what you do is you sneak across
to my patio, see.
1201
01:22:08,537 --> 01:22:12,166
And you go to sleep in a nice damp chair
that l've got over there.
1202
01:22:12,241 --> 01:22:14,607
And you wait until morning.
l'm gonna call up my wife,
1203
01:22:14,676 --> 01:22:16,940
l'm gonna explain
this whole ridiculous thing to her.
1204
01:22:17,012 --> 01:22:19,640
She'll let you in the back door
and then you go out the front door, you see,
1205
01:22:19,715 --> 01:22:22,149
and the fella in the truck out there
will think that you live there
1206
01:22:22,217 --> 01:22:25,277
and you were off on a business trip
for a couple of days.
1207
01:22:26,888 --> 01:22:28,355
That's the best you can suggest,
1208
01:22:28,423 --> 01:22:31,449
-that l wait outside all night?
-Well, l wouldn't suggest you wait inside,
1209
01:22:31,526 --> 01:22:33,721
a perfect stranger, with my wife, thank you.
1210
01:22:33,795 --> 01:22:34,853
-Forget it!
-All right.
1211
01:22:34,930 --> 01:22:37,057
Good, you're gonna explain it
to the fellow in the truck
1212
01:22:37,132 --> 01:22:39,259
when we both leave the same house
tomorrow morning.
1213
01:22:39,334 --> 01:22:43,668
There goes $15 million down the drain.
Okay, you explain it. Go ahead.
1214
01:22:46,375 --> 01:22:48,502
Yeah, l guess you're right.
1215
01:22:54,516 --> 01:22:57,485
You know, it's gonna be cold out there
on that patio.
1216
01:22:57,552 --> 01:23:01,420
-Why don't you take a blanket?
-Thanks a lot.
1217
01:23:48,537 --> 01:23:50,300
You again. Look, l thought l told you
1218
01:23:50,405 --> 01:23:52,373
the next time you came here
l was gonna call the police.
1219
01:23:52,441 --> 01:23:54,773
l'm Howard Ebbets, Janet's husband.
1220
01:23:54,876 --> 01:23:57,208
-You see, l've been out here in the cold...
-You're Janet's...
1221
01:23:57,412 --> 01:23:59,778
-Yeah.
-l'm sorry. l thought...
1222
01:23:59,848 --> 01:24:03,045
Come in, get some coffee.
l thought you were somebody...
1223
01:24:22,904 --> 01:24:25,737
l called Min. Howard is expecting you
to drive him to work.
1224
01:24:25,807 --> 01:24:28,037
-He is?
-Yes.
1225
01:24:28,110 --> 01:24:32,171
-Now, please, eat your toast. You'll be late.
-No, l'm not hungry.
1226
01:24:36,017 --> 01:24:39,180
Will you stop staring out of that window?
Min is all right.
1227
01:24:39,254 --> 01:24:40,448
-Of course she's all right.
-Yes.
1228
01:24:40,522 --> 01:24:43,548
-l wasn't staring. l was just glancing.
-Glancing.
1229
01:24:43,658 --> 01:24:47,389
-He's a pretty good-looking fella, isn't he?
-Yes, he's a good-looking fellow.
1230
01:24:47,462 --> 01:24:49,896
-Well, it's all surface.
-Surface, yes.
1231
01:24:49,965 --> 01:24:51,830
-Yeah, surface handsomeness.
-Yes.
1232
01:24:51,900 --> 01:24:53,765
Well, l certainly don't think
there's much depth to the man.
1233
01:24:53,835 --> 01:24:55,803
No depth, no.
1234
01:24:55,871 --> 01:25:01,309
-Well, he certainly isn't Min's type.
-No, never. He'd be never Min's type.
1235
01:25:02,444 --> 01:25:03,934
You're funny.
1236
01:25:05,080 --> 01:25:06,980
She talks like a parrot.
1237
01:25:08,250 --> 01:25:09,239
l'm not hungry.
1238
01:25:11,920 --> 01:25:13,012
Well...
1239
01:25:13,755 --> 01:25:15,222
Come on, Sam.
1240
01:25:28,503 --> 01:25:31,028
-Morning.
-Morning, Howard.
1241
01:25:31,106 --> 01:25:32,801
-Morning.
-Morning, Jan.
1242
01:25:32,874 --> 01:25:36,275
-Bye, my dear. Have a nice day at the office.
-Oh, yes.
1243
01:25:36,344 --> 01:25:37,834
-Bye-bye.
-Bye.
1244
01:25:41,216 --> 01:25:44,151
-See you later, honey.
-Bye, have a nice day.
1245
01:25:49,057 --> 01:25:50,820
-Bye.
-Wait a minute.
1246
01:26:02,471 --> 01:26:04,564
Morning, Min. Morning, Sam.
1247
01:26:23,225 --> 01:26:24,783
Listen, buddy,
l'll have to ride home with you,
1248
01:26:24,860 --> 01:26:27,488
so why don't you pick me up
at Montgomery Post at 5:00, huh?
1249
01:26:27,562 --> 01:26:29,257
-Please.
-Please.
1250
01:26:29,331 --> 01:26:32,027
Would you mind
not slamming the door quite so hard?
1251
01:26:32,100 --> 01:26:34,432
Now don't tell me
how to slam the door on my own car.
1252
01:26:34,503 --> 01:26:36,266
-Your car?
-Yeah, l happened to have paid for it,
1253
01:26:36,338 --> 01:26:41,298
-and l'll slam the door any time l like.
-All right, all right. Okay.
1254
01:26:42,911 --> 01:26:45,539
ls that my shirt you've got on?
1255
01:26:45,614 --> 01:26:49,482
Yeah, that's your shirt and your shorts
and your skivvy shirt
1256
01:26:49,551 --> 01:26:52,850
and those beautiful lisle socks
your mother brought you from France.
1257
01:26:55,190 --> 01:26:57,317
Well, Min has lost her mind.
1258
01:26:59,127 --> 01:27:01,220
Well, dear,
did you have to give him my underwear
1259
01:27:01,296 --> 01:27:03,355
and one of my good shirts
and my best socks?
1260
01:27:03,431 --> 01:27:04,898
Well, what else could l do?
1261
01:27:04,966 --> 01:27:07,935
The poor man was all grubby
from waiting outside in the patio.
1262
01:27:08,003 --> 01:27:09,527
And his spirits were so low.
1263
01:27:09,604 --> 01:27:12,232
Well, you know what a lift it is
to put on clean clothes after a shower.
1264
01:27:14,109 --> 01:27:15,337
He took a shower?
1265
01:27:15,877 --> 01:27:18,209
Well, of course.
Didn't you take a shower at Janet's?
1266
01:27:18,880 --> 01:27:21,474
No, l didn't take a shower at Janet...
1267
01:27:21,550 --> 01:27:23,279
What do you think l am?
Some kind of a sex maniac?
1268
01:27:23,618 --> 01:27:27,054
Sam, you're making noises
like a jealous husband.
1269
01:27:27,122 --> 01:27:32,116
He happens to be a very nice man.
He's kind and generous and very handsome.
1270
01:27:32,928 --> 01:27:34,987
Handsome. He's very...
1271
01:27:35,063 --> 01:27:37,725
He's got no more character in his face
than an ordinary egg.
1272
01:27:37,799 --> 01:27:39,960
Just an ordinary
and certainly not a Nurdlinger egg.
1273
01:27:40,435 --> 01:27:43,632
Sam, you are jealous. That's wonderful.
1274
01:27:44,839 --> 01:27:46,067
-Well, l don't think it's...
-Sam, big mix-up...
1275
01:27:46,141 --> 01:27:47,233
-l'm sorry.
-Just a minute. What?
1276
01:27:47,309 --> 01:27:49,436
-There's a big confusion down there.
-What is it?
1277
01:27:49,511 --> 01:27:51,376
-They think that girl is Min.
-What girl?
1278
01:27:51,446 --> 01:27:54,438
The girl l saw you hugging and kissing
on the street...
1279
01:27:54,516 --> 01:27:56,347
The girl on the street.
You were hugging, kissing her.
1280
01:27:56,418 --> 01:27:58,682
-Burke thinks she's your wife.
-Will you please be quiet?
1281
01:27:58,753 --> 01:28:00,618
lt's all part of a plan
and don't you try to figure it out.
1282
01:28:00,689 --> 01:28:01,849
l'll tell you about it someday. Goodbye.
1283
01:28:01,923 --> 01:28:03,220
You're not worried
about the Nurdlinger billboard?
1284
01:28:03,291 --> 01:28:06,317
Earl, please.
Just don't bother me now. Please.
1285
01:28:06,394 --> 01:28:08,487
Believe me, l know what l'm doing.
Goodbye.
1286
01:28:08,563 --> 01:28:11,293
Okay. l don't get it, but okay.
That's the way you want it, okay.
1287
01:28:11,366 --> 01:28:13,834
-And close the thing.
-Okay.
1288
01:28:15,070 --> 01:28:18,938
l'm sorry, but l was just speaking
to the ram head there, Earl.
1289
01:28:21,276 --> 01:28:24,006
ls the truck still there? lt is.
1290
01:28:24,746 --> 01:28:27,146
l don't like it any more than you do, honey.
1291
01:28:27,215 --> 01:28:30,776
One more night,
the whole mix-up ought to be settled.
1292
01:28:31,186 --> 01:28:32,710
l love you, too. l'm sorry.
1293
01:28:45,066 --> 01:28:47,193
Make it look good.
l feel somebody watching us.
1294
01:28:47,268 --> 01:28:48,599
Certainly.
1295
01:28:52,007 --> 01:28:54,134
-Well, it's sure good to be home.
-Yeah.
1296
01:28:54,209 --> 01:28:55,972
l wonder what little Minsey's
got for dinner tonight?
1297
01:28:56,044 --> 01:28:57,443
Sam!
1298
01:28:58,546 --> 01:29:01,037
Don't forget, you're not Mr. Suburbanite
coming home to your wife.
1299
01:29:01,116 --> 01:29:02,606
You're coming home to my wife.
Let's not forget that.
1300
01:29:02,684 --> 01:29:05,346
Yeah, and the same goes for you, pal,
and don't you forget it.
1301
01:29:05,420 --> 01:29:08,617
Don't stand there in my underwear
and threaten me.
1302
01:29:10,125 --> 01:29:13,583
Well, l'll see you later, pal.
And thanks for the ride home.
1303
01:29:13,662 --> 01:29:14,754
Forget it.
1304
01:29:28,109 --> 01:29:30,043
You know,
and after three years at law school
1305
01:29:30,111 --> 01:29:32,978
-the Dean didn't even know my name.
-How could they know your name?
1306
01:29:33,048 --> 01:29:36,176
Don't ask me.
So Eli Whitney turns to him and he says,
1307
01:29:36,251 --> 01:29:39,277
''You keep your cotton-picking hands
off of my Jean.''
1308
01:29:40,989 --> 01:29:42,013
lsn't that a beautiful story?
1309
01:29:42,090 --> 01:29:45,025
Honestly, that's the funniest thing
l've ever heard.
1310
01:29:45,093 --> 01:29:46,924
-And you put it so brilliantly.
-Well, thank you.
1311
01:29:46,995 --> 01:29:50,123
-Have you ever thought of being a writer.
-Writer? Me? No.
1312
01:29:50,432 --> 01:29:52,900
A writer. Howie a writer.
1313
01:29:52,967 --> 01:29:56,368
-He never had an original thought in his life.
-Yeah, l can believe that.
1314
01:29:56,471 --> 01:29:58,098
You know what kills me,
that toupee that he's wearing.
1315
01:29:58,206 --> 01:30:00,936
-That is a toupee, isn't it?
-No, it's his own hair.
1316
01:30:01,009 --> 01:30:02,943
Well, then he must go to a hair stylist
or something.
1317
01:30:03,011 --> 01:30:04,069
He wouldn't go to a regular barber.
1318
01:30:04,145 --> 01:30:07,706
Anybody with a head of hair like that's gotta
go to a hair stylist. He's just vain, huh?
1319
01:30:07,782 --> 01:30:09,977
You have to fight him to get to a mirror.
1320
01:30:12,420 --> 01:30:14,786
Listen. They're playing a tango.
1321
01:30:14,856 --> 01:30:16,983
-Shall we?
-l'd be delighted.
1322
01:30:31,239 --> 01:30:33,264
l've been meaning to ask you
about that hunk of junk.
1323
01:30:33,341 --> 01:30:34,808
What is it,
something you forgot to throw away?
1324
01:30:34,876 --> 01:30:36,434
Oh, no, that's Sam's creation.
1325
01:30:36,511 --> 01:30:38,741
-He loves to dabble in art.
-Art?
1326
01:30:38,813 --> 01:30:41,407
That's the biggest, craziest dabble
l've ever seen.
1327
01:30:41,483 --> 01:30:44,748
-What do you do, turn it on here?
-Yeah, like that.
1328
01:30:50,158 --> 01:30:53,457
-Get your hands off of that.
-The man in the truck.
1329
01:30:54,629 --> 01:30:58,531
-Off! Off! Off!
-l'm sorry.
1330
01:31:00,068 --> 01:31:01,933
-Off!
-l'm sorry, dear.
1331
01:31:04,906 --> 01:31:08,637
-Say, he's sensitive, isn't he?
-Very. He's creative.
1332
01:31:11,780 --> 01:31:15,375
lt's ridiculous. What am l worried
about, a madman like that?
1333
01:31:17,585 --> 01:31:19,883
l know the sort. He's typical, typical.
1334
01:31:20,421 --> 01:31:24,187
He just took advantage of, you know,
the smooth dancer and the fancy dresser,
1335
01:31:24,259 --> 01:31:26,989
and you were young and naive,
and you thought he was a swell fella
1336
01:31:27,061 --> 01:31:28,289
because he never made a pass at you,
1337
01:31:28,363 --> 01:31:30,331
and then you marry him
and you find out why.
1338
01:31:30,398 --> 01:31:33,799
Mama's boy. Pretty mama's boy.
He's all wind-up and no pitch, as we say.
1339
01:31:33,868 --> 01:31:35,995
lt's a sad facet of American life.
1340
01:31:36,204 --> 01:31:40,140
Oh, no, he wasn't a mama's boy.
lt was quite the contrary.
1341
01:31:41,810 --> 01:31:44,335
-Do you have any mambo records?
-And cha-cha.
1342
01:31:44,412 --> 01:31:46,073
-Cha-cha, too. That's great.
-Yes.
1343
01:31:46,147 --> 01:31:49,139
-The conga. Remember the conga?
-Yeah, that's wonderful.
1344
01:31:54,789 --> 01:31:59,726
And would you believe it, two years ago,
Sam and l won a Charleston contest at the...
1345
01:32:00,094 --> 01:32:02,187
Excuse me. Hello.
1346
01:32:02,297 --> 01:32:03,355
Min, are you all right?
1347
01:32:04,032 --> 01:32:06,728
Hi, dear. Well, of course l'm all right.
What do you mean?
1348
01:32:07,035 --> 01:32:10,630
-l miss you, dear. What are you doing?
-Howie and l are gonna play cards.
1349
01:32:10,705 --> 01:32:12,570
He's really a lot of fun, Sam.
1350
01:32:13,141 --> 01:32:15,371
Yeah, yeah, l bet. What kind of cards?
1351
01:32:15,810 --> 01:32:16,902
Honeymoon bridge.
1352
01:32:18,680 --> 01:32:20,671
That's a great game, Min,
much better four-handed.
1353
01:32:20,748 --> 01:32:22,773
What do you say
all four of us play right now, huh?
1354
01:32:22,884 --> 01:32:25,478
Well, l don't know.
l'll have to see how Howie feels.
1355
01:32:25,553 --> 01:32:27,919
He's had a rough day at the office.
Just a minute, hold on.
1356
01:32:28,623 --> 01:32:31,387
See how Howie feels.
He had a rough day at the office.
1357
01:32:31,960 --> 01:32:33,723
Yeah, all right. lf he doesn't stay too late.
1358
01:32:33,795 --> 01:32:38,459
-l got a tough day tomorrow.
-Okay. Sam? Sam, honey.
1359
01:32:38,700 --> 01:32:41,897
He says it's okay. You can come on over
just so it isn't too late.
1360
01:32:42,503 --> 01:32:45,597
Well, now, gee whiz,
l wouldn't want to tire out Howie.
1361
01:32:45,673 --> 01:32:46,901
You sure it's all right?
1362
01:32:47,208 --> 01:32:50,541
No, it's all right.
You can come on over for a while.
1363
01:32:50,979 --> 01:32:53,004
Gosh, right. Bye, Min.
1364
01:32:53,481 --> 01:32:54,539
Bye.
1365
01:32:56,951 --> 01:32:58,418
She's got to be sick.
1366
01:32:59,554 --> 01:33:02,580
Say, listen, Minsey, you know, honey,
we never would have made this hand
1367
01:33:02,724 --> 01:33:06,956
-if he hadn't made the wrong discard.
-Yes, you said that before, didn't you?
1368
01:33:07,028 --> 01:33:10,623
Well, that does it, Howie. They owe us $1 .42.
1369
01:33:11,199 --> 01:33:14,828
All right, now that's all settled,
what do you say we have a nightcap?
1370
01:33:15,169 --> 01:33:17,000
-Sam, what can l get you?
-l'll get it.
1371
01:33:17,071 --> 01:33:19,437
No, no.
l'm just trying to be the gracious host.
1372
01:33:19,507 --> 01:33:22,340
l see. Well, l think l can get my own drink
in my own house.
1373
01:33:22,410 --> 01:33:24,571
Let's not squabble. l'll get the drinks. Jan?
1374
01:33:24,646 --> 01:33:27,376
-l don't care for anything, thank you.
-Howie, soda, Scotch and soda, right?
1375
01:33:27,448 --> 01:33:29,040
-Yeah, and a water.
-Sorry.
1376
01:33:29,117 --> 01:33:30,948
-l'll help you, honey.
-Okay.
1377
01:33:32,720 --> 01:33:36,053
Sam, you want to get another tray of cubes?
lce. Please.
1378
01:33:37,191 --> 01:33:39,159
lf anything happens to that marriage,
1379
01:33:39,227 --> 01:33:42,355
l'll hold you personally responsible,
Howard Ebbets.
1380
01:33:42,430 --> 01:33:43,829
-Me?
-Yes, you.
1381
01:33:43,932 --> 01:33:46,992
Now, look, you're the one
who started this whole nutty thing.
1382
01:33:47,068 --> 01:33:48,626
You are the one
who came in bursting in the night,
1383
01:33:48,703 --> 01:33:49,761
in the middle of the night.
1384
01:33:49,837 --> 01:33:52,601
Oh, boy, l always knew how selfish
and totally self-centered you were,
1385
01:33:52,707 --> 01:33:54,937
but l never thought you'd stoop
to endangering a beautiful marriage
1386
01:33:55,009 --> 01:33:57,307
like the Bissells' out of pure greed.
1387
01:33:57,378 --> 01:33:58,470
-Greed!
-Yeah.
1388
01:33:58,546 --> 01:34:00,036
How dare you talk to me that way?
1389
01:34:00,114 --> 01:34:02,014
-How dare?
-How dare?
1390
01:34:02,083 --> 01:34:05,052
You said, ''How dare you?'' Now you're
beginning to act like my old gal again.
1391
01:34:05,119 --> 01:34:06,950
Come on, honey.
Let's go a couple of rounds, sweetheart.
1392
01:34:07,021 --> 01:34:09,421
Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't trick me like that.
1393
01:34:18,633 --> 01:34:21,101
Has he made a pass at you yet?
1394
01:34:21,636 --> 01:34:23,467
Well, has he or hasn't he?
1395
01:34:24,038 --> 01:34:27,701
Well, look, don't just give me a look.
lt's not such a ridiculous question.
1396
01:34:27,775 --> 01:34:31,472
For your information,
he is known to be highly oversexed.
1397
01:34:31,612 --> 01:34:34,274
-Known?
-Well, l don't say he takes ads, no.
1398
01:34:34,349 --> 01:34:37,375
But his own wife told me,
and it made her sick when she did.
1399
01:34:37,852 --> 01:34:39,877
He's disgusting.
Can you imagine what it must be like
1400
01:34:39,954 --> 01:34:41,353
to be married to a man like that?
1401
01:34:41,422 --> 01:34:42,889
She's sexually normal.
1402
01:34:45,193 --> 01:34:49,095
You told me that, right?
l think it was right after we were married,
1403
01:34:49,163 --> 01:34:52,098
when you were...
Well, what are you laughing at?
1404
01:34:53,234 --> 01:34:54,861
You are so cute.
1405
01:34:56,304 --> 01:34:58,169
-l miss you.
-l miss you, too.
1406
01:34:58,239 --> 01:35:01,470
-When is this all gonna be over?
-l don't know. Pretty soon.
1407
01:35:01,542 --> 01:35:03,669
-Keep on thinking about the million dollars.
-Yeah.
1408
01:35:03,745 --> 01:35:07,511
Trip around the world. Leisure time.
Security for the kids.
1409
01:35:08,316 --> 01:35:12,480
-No more Vernier and Burke & Hare...
-You know what l miss the most?
1410
01:35:12,553 --> 01:35:14,885
-What?
-My feet get so cold.
1411
01:35:16,791 --> 01:35:20,124
Hey, Bissell, if you're looking
for the Scotch, it's in the cupboard.
1412
01:35:20,628 --> 01:35:23,290
Yes, we found it, finally. Thank you.
1413
01:35:43,151 --> 01:35:46,245
Howie, old boy, could l speak to you
for just a second? Please?
1414
01:35:46,387 --> 01:35:47,786
Sure. Sure.
1415
01:35:49,824 --> 01:35:50,848
Yeah.
1416
01:35:53,661 --> 01:35:56,357
Howard, Howie,
1417
01:35:56,831 --> 01:36:00,198
l'd like to spend tonight
in my own house with my own wife.
1418
01:36:00,334 --> 01:36:03,963
Hey, hey, now, now you're talking.
Now, that's a great idea.
1419
01:36:04,038 --> 01:36:06,302
l'd like to spend some time alone
with Janet, too, you know.
1420
01:36:06,374 --> 01:36:08,808
-Yeah, we got a lot to fight over.
-Good. You got a deal.
1421
01:36:08,876 --> 01:36:11,037
Okay. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
1422
01:36:11,112 --> 01:36:13,580
What about the guy in the truck?
Yeah, there's a full moon out...
1423
01:36:13,681 --> 01:36:15,239
-l have a plan.
-Yeah, what's that?
1424
01:36:15,316 --> 01:36:18,012
l will go home with Janet
and go straight out on the patio.
1425
01:36:18,086 --> 01:36:20,281
l will light a cigarette
so that you'll know l'm there.
1426
01:36:20,354 --> 01:36:23,346
Now you do exactly the same thing
and then l will know you are there.
1427
01:36:23,424 --> 01:36:24,948
-Light a cigarette.
-When the girls go to bed...
1428
01:36:25,026 --> 01:36:27,517
-Yeah?
-...and the last light goes out,
1429
01:36:27,595 --> 01:36:29,222
l'll give you a signal. l'll whistle.
1430
01:36:29,297 --> 01:36:31,788
And that is our cue
to run back and forth, see.
1431
01:36:31,866 --> 01:36:33,527
Bissell, you're a genius.
1432
01:36:33,601 --> 01:36:36,900
One thing l think we should remember,
it's when you run, crouch very low, you see,
1433
01:36:36,971 --> 01:36:38,666
and that way, if he sees us, he won't see us.
1434
01:36:38,773 --> 01:36:41,970
Yeah, now just wait a minute.
Let's just drop the advice.
1435
01:36:42,043 --> 01:36:44,568
l happen to have been a Marine Raider.
l can take care of myself.
1436
01:36:44,645 --> 01:36:47,443
Oh, no. Well, l was in the OSS.
l think l know a little bit more
1437
01:36:47,515 --> 01:36:49,574
-about this nighttime stuff...
-Now wait a minute, big shot.
1438
01:36:49,650 --> 01:36:50,742
-...than a Marine Raider.
-Wait a minute.
1439
01:36:50,818 --> 01:36:52,012
Let me tell you about the Marines.
1440
01:36:52,086 --> 01:36:54,077
-We were the first into Okinawa.
-l do not wish to be recruited.
1441
01:36:54,155 --> 01:36:55,315
-l don't want...
-We were the first...
1442
01:36:55,389 --> 01:36:59,382
Let's not quibble. We're going to spend
the night with our wives.
1443
01:37:00,895 --> 01:37:02,294
Yeah.
1444
01:37:03,764 --> 01:37:07,325
You know,
you're not such a bad guy after all, Sam.
1445
01:37:07,668 --> 01:37:09,863
Yeah, neither are you, Howie.
1446
01:37:11,072 --> 01:37:14,530
-What's so funny?
-What are you two guys grinning about?
1447
01:37:14,609 --> 01:37:16,839
-Nothing, nothing.
-Nothing.
1448
01:37:17,245 --> 01:37:20,578
Well, here's to two ex-servicemen
and a successful mission tonight.
1449
01:37:20,648 --> 01:37:23,173
-Dark of the moon.
-Dark of the moon.
1450
01:38:28,749 --> 01:38:31,513
Bissell, your ducks are loose.
1451
01:38:45,032 --> 01:38:48,593
-Now!
-Bissell! Bissell, the duck!
1452
01:39:06,387 --> 01:39:09,754
Turn it off! Turn it off!
1453
01:39:14,962 --> 01:39:16,589
Turn it off!
1454
01:39:17,298 --> 01:39:21,860
-That was real clever, OSS man.
-That was the duck, not me.
1455
01:39:21,936 --> 01:39:23,870
-You'll wake up the whole neighborhood.
-What? Are you kidding?
1456
01:39:23,938 --> 01:39:25,838
You think someone's gonna be asleep
after a racket like that?
1457
01:39:25,906 --> 01:39:28,534
-Where are my glasses?
-What's going on over there, Sam?
1458
01:39:28,609 --> 01:39:32,568
Who's that? Al... Al, nothing. lt's... l'm sorry.
1459
01:39:32,647 --> 01:39:34,376
-Hi, Al.
-l bet the detective didn't miss any of it.
1460
01:39:34,448 --> 01:39:35,813
The detective.
1461
01:39:37,418 --> 01:39:40,785
-You better come back, Sam. Come on.
-Well, that wrecks it. That's...
1462
01:39:42,690 --> 01:39:44,715
Well, anyway, you tried, honey.
1463
01:39:44,792 --> 01:39:46,783
-Good night, dear.
-Night, Sam.
1464
01:39:46,861 --> 01:39:50,126
-Good night, Mrs. Ebbets.
-Good night, Mr. Bissell.
1465
01:39:50,998 --> 01:39:54,263
-Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Ebbets.
-OSS.
1466
01:39:58,506 --> 01:40:01,532
Go home. Go home.
1467
01:40:25,399 --> 01:40:29,460
-Good morning, Mrs. Bissell.
-Good morning, Mr. Palma. Hi.
1468
01:40:30,571 --> 01:40:34,405
-Good morning, Min. Morning, Sam.
-Morning, Sam. Morning, Min.
1469
01:40:34,475 --> 01:40:36,705
Good morning, Mr. Bissell.
1470
01:40:43,918 --> 01:40:45,715
You folks work it out.
1471
01:40:47,421 --> 01:40:49,582
Sir, we're asking Your Honor
to delay for another week
1472
01:40:49,657 --> 01:40:52,626
-your decision as who is entitled to inherit.
-Why?
1473
01:40:52,693 --> 01:40:54,490
My clients
have had these people under scrutiny
1474
01:40:54,562 --> 01:40:56,427
for the past few days
by a private investigator.
1475
01:40:56,497 --> 01:40:59,432
Yes. We saw him out there
with his vacuum cleaner truck.
1476
01:40:59,500 --> 01:41:01,127
He didn't fool us a minute.
1477
01:41:01,302 --> 01:41:03,770
Some very odd things
have been happening at that house.
1478
01:41:03,838 --> 01:41:06,705
Unless it pertains to the plaintiff's
qualifications for inheritance,
1479
01:41:06,774 --> 01:41:08,503
l'm not interested, sir.
1480
01:41:08,576 --> 01:41:11,010
There's something very sneaky
going on in that house, Your Honor.
1481
01:41:11,078 --> 01:41:13,512
All we're asking for is another week's stay,
Your Honor.
1482
01:41:13,581 --> 01:41:15,276
-Denied.
-But, Your Honor...
1483
01:41:15,349 --> 01:41:18,182
-All we want is justice.
-l said denied.
1484
01:41:18,652 --> 01:41:23,021
You can't alter a man's deathbed bequest
with a lot of childish spying and gossip.
1485
01:41:23,157 --> 01:41:25,785
Now, obviously,
this woman and man are husband and wife,
1486
01:41:25,860 --> 01:41:28,420
Mr. and Mrs. Howard Ebbets, and as such,
1487
01:41:28,562 --> 01:41:31,156
l set the hearing
for distribution of the Lagerlof will
1488
01:41:31,232 --> 01:41:34,429
to take place
in probate court tomorrow at 9:30 a.m.
1489
01:41:34,502 --> 01:41:36,732
Now, nice to have met you,
Mr. and Mrs. Ebbets.
1490
01:41:36,804 --> 01:41:40,069
Now see here, Your Honor, l've had
some experience in this sort of thing...
1491
01:41:40,174 --> 01:41:41,903
-We want justice!
-This is ridiculous.
1492
01:41:43,711 --> 01:41:44,700
l don't care what you say...
1493
01:41:47,081 --> 01:41:48,309
-We made it.
-Sam, l'm rich.
1494
01:41:48,382 --> 01:41:51,180
-l want to go out and buy everything.
-Well, you can. $15 million.
1495
01:41:51,252 --> 01:41:53,311
And l'm going to give
you and Min $1 million.
1496
01:41:53,387 --> 01:41:55,753
-Oh, boy. We're millionaires.
-Like promised. Yes.
1497
01:41:55,823 --> 01:41:57,552
l don't believe it.
1498
01:41:59,260 --> 01:42:01,728
-Sam! Sam, you seen Burke yet?
-No, l just got in.
1499
01:42:01,796 --> 01:42:05,323
-l had business on the outside.
-Yeah, well, congratulations, golden boy.
1500
01:42:05,399 --> 01:42:06,457
What do you mean, ''golden boy''?
1501
01:42:06,534 --> 01:42:10,026
Well, good old Nurdlinger
is ecstatic about his billboards.
1502
01:42:10,171 --> 01:42:13,470
-What billboards?
-What billboards? Are you of this world?
1503
01:42:13,541 --> 01:42:15,441
-Those billboards.
-Yeah, those billboards.
1504
01:42:15,509 --> 01:42:18,535
You create more bedlam around here
with all of your nonsense...
1505
01:42:18,746 --> 01:42:22,273
Yeah, well, look, l'll tell you, Earl,
l've had a few personal problems lately,
1506
01:42:22,349 --> 01:42:24,442
and l just completely forgot
about the Nurdlinger billboards.
1507
01:42:24,552 --> 01:42:27,919
Yeah, well, anyway, Burke and Nurdlinger
are patting each other on the back.
1508
01:42:27,988 --> 01:42:29,853
-They just love them.
-That's nice.
1509
01:42:29,924 --> 01:42:33,758
-lt is, huh? Have you seen those billboards?
-What billboard?
1510
01:42:33,828 --> 01:42:35,693
No, l haven't been
near the media department lately.
1511
01:42:35,763 --> 01:42:39,290
l would strongly recommend
you take a good look at those billboards.
1512
01:42:39,400 --> 01:42:41,197
-They're finished?
-Finished? They're up.
1513
01:42:41,268 --> 01:42:43,395
-They're all over town.
-Well, good.
1514
01:42:43,471 --> 01:42:47,271
Sam, Sam, good friend.
Look, it's none of my business,
1515
01:42:47,341 --> 01:42:51,368
but you know Mr. and Mrs. ''Average,
clean-living man and wife'' they used?
1516
01:42:51,445 --> 01:42:53,970
-Yeah?
-l'll give you a big fat clue.
1517
01:42:54,048 --> 01:42:57,779
-lt ain't Mr. and Mrs. Abraham Lincoln.
-No, well, who is it?
1518
01:42:57,852 --> 01:42:59,217
-lt happens...
-Sam!
1519
01:42:59,286 --> 01:43:02,687
Just the fellow we've been waiting for.
Sam, come in, come in, come in, come in.
1520
01:43:02,756 --> 01:43:05,623
There's somebody here
just dying to see you.
1521
01:43:05,693 --> 01:43:07,923
Sam, look who's here.
1522
01:43:07,995 --> 01:43:12,329
You, sir, you had the courage to stand up
on your two feet and say no to me,
1523
01:43:12,399 --> 01:43:14,697
to say that my idea was wrong.
1524
01:43:14,768 --> 01:43:17,362
Well, sir, l'm here with my hat in hand
to say that you were right.
1525
01:43:17,438 --> 01:43:20,464
You've struck the keynote
of our organization,
1526
01:43:20,541 --> 01:43:23,032
clean, wholesome advertising.
1527
01:43:23,110 --> 01:43:25,874
-My hand is out to you, sir.
-Well, thank you.
1528
01:43:25,946 --> 01:43:30,940
Actually, l've been meaning
to speak to both of you about leaving.
1529
01:43:31,018 --> 01:43:32,076
-Leaving?
-Leaving? What do you mean.
1530
01:43:32,152 --> 01:43:34,313
-Another agency? More money, Sam?
-Oh, no. Nothing like that, sir.
1531
01:43:34,388 --> 01:43:36,754
lt's just l came into an unexpected windfall,
an inheritance,
1532
01:43:36,824 --> 01:43:40,453
-and l was thinking of retiring.
-Retiring? You can't retire. You're my man.
1533
01:43:40,528 --> 01:43:42,860
You're my account executive.
Speak to him, Burke.
1534
01:43:42,930 --> 01:43:45,831
Sam, Sam, Sam, you must be joshing.
1535
01:43:46,000 --> 01:43:48,491
You can no more quit
the excitement of this business
1536
01:43:48,569 --> 01:43:49,729
than you can quit breathing.
1537
01:43:49,803 --> 01:43:52,533
Oh, yes, it's exciting, all right, but you see,
l have all this money now...
1538
01:43:52,606 --> 01:43:55,871
Money? What is money?
Sam, come right over here.
1539
01:43:55,943 --> 01:43:59,845
Look out that... Look at that billboard.
1540
01:44:01,649 --> 01:44:02,911
lsn't that magnificent?
1541
01:44:02,983 --> 01:44:07,920
Any amount of money, Sam, in this world
to take the place of you saying, ''l did that.
1542
01:44:07,988 --> 01:44:11,424
''l, Sam Bissell,
created that beautiful, glorious,
1543
01:44:11,492 --> 01:44:12,686
-''wonderful wholesome...
-Right.
1544
01:44:12,760 --> 01:44:15,388
-''...billboard.''
-lt's a thrill seeing it up there and all,
1545
01:44:15,462 --> 01:44:17,453
but, on the other hand,
you take a million dollars,
1546
01:44:17,531 --> 01:44:19,465
that's an awful lot of...
1547
01:44:26,373 --> 01:44:28,466
-Who the hell put that up there?
-What's the matter?
1548
01:44:28,542 --> 01:44:29,839
-ls it in the wrong spot?
-Oh, no!
1549
01:44:29,910 --> 01:44:31,810
Well, that's our space, Sam.
We got twelve of them all over...
1550
01:44:31,879 --> 01:44:34,643
That's going to ruin everything.
Mr. Burke, that's got to come down!
1551
01:44:34,715 --> 01:44:36,148
-They've all gotta come down.
-Sam?
1552
01:44:41,288 --> 01:44:43,518
-Hi, there!
-l'm sorry. l can't talk to you now.
1553
01:44:43,591 --> 01:44:46,788
-Wait a minute, friend. This is important.
-Look, l'm sorry. l can't talk to you now.
1554
01:44:46,860 --> 01:44:49,522
-l'm in a hurry.
-Bissell, come back here!
1555
01:44:51,932 --> 01:44:54,196
What's the matter with him?
Did l do anything to offend him?
1556
01:44:54,768 --> 01:44:58,727
Running away will not help
your particular situation. Come back.
1557
01:45:02,142 --> 01:45:05,543
-Hey, fellas, stop walking around.
-Roll it, Jim.
1558
01:45:06,714 --> 01:45:08,705
One, two. One, two.
1559
01:45:08,782 --> 01:45:13,412
By the hour, by the day
By the week or any way
1560
01:45:13,487 --> 01:45:18,049
Just let Hertz put you in the driver's seat
1561
01:45:20,327 --> 01:45:22,887
Today
1562
01:45:26,900 --> 01:45:29,232
Man, that's real coffee!
1563
01:45:29,303 --> 01:45:31,498
-No!
-Oh, no!
1564
01:45:31,939 --> 01:45:33,201
Cut it!
1565
01:45:37,778 --> 01:45:40,246
Listen, you better take time
to talk to me, Mr. Ebbets,
1566
01:45:40,314 --> 01:45:43,408
-if you know what's good for you.
-Mr. Ebbets?
1567
01:45:48,522 --> 01:45:51,320
You don't know me,
but l can assure you, l know you,
1568
01:45:51,392 --> 01:45:53,519
Mr. Sneaky-between-the-houses.
1569
01:45:54,361 --> 01:45:56,625
Reinhold Shiffner, private investigator.
1570
01:45:57,898 --> 01:46:00,560
Oh, yeah, well, l don't know what you want,
1571
01:46:00,634 --> 01:46:04,434
-but l'm in a big hurry.
-Scandal is not a very pretty word, sir.
1572
01:46:04,505 --> 01:46:07,406
l've been watching you off and on
since Tuesday night, you know.
1573
01:46:07,474 --> 01:46:11,410
My goodness, such goings-on.
1574
01:46:12,780 --> 01:46:14,270
How do you do?
1575
01:46:15,149 --> 01:46:20,086
Hold it! Hold it! You can't run away
from fraud and deceit, young man.
1576
01:46:27,961 --> 01:46:29,622
What do you... Fraud and deceit?
1577
01:46:29,697 --> 01:46:32,632
This will just take a minute.
Reinhold Shiffner.
1578
01:46:32,700 --> 01:46:35,828
Yeah, you already gave me a card.
Private lnvestigator.
1579
01:46:35,903 --> 01:46:38,963
Most people think
we still wear derbies and chew toothpicks.
1580
01:46:39,139 --> 01:46:41,266
Not true. l'm Harvard, '44,
1581
01:46:41,341 --> 01:46:45,607
science major with a good solid foundation
in business administration and law.
1582
01:46:45,679 --> 01:46:49,410
-That's very interesting.
-l also majored in theatrical arts.
1583
01:46:49,483 --> 01:46:53,180
That accounts for the little touch
of showmanship in my trucks.
1584
01:46:53,387 --> 01:46:55,878
You've seen my vacuum cleaning outfit,
haven't you?
1585
01:46:55,956 --> 01:47:01,223
l have a cherry-picker truck and a tank truck.
The tank truck's for big jobs. Three men.
1586
01:47:01,295 --> 01:47:04,423
We can stay out for a full month
without returning to home base.
1587
01:47:04,498 --> 01:47:06,159
-Gee, how about that.
-Yes.
1588
01:47:06,233 --> 01:47:09,066
Well, look,
let's get down to brass tacks, shall we?
1589
01:47:09,136 --> 01:47:13,072
l was hired by Mrs. Ebbets' cousins,
Jack and lrene.
1590
01:47:13,841 --> 01:47:16,810
l started watching your place Tuesday night.
1591
01:47:16,877 --> 01:47:21,644
l saw you sneaking between the houses,
you naughty, naughty boy, you.
1592
01:47:21,715 --> 01:47:23,546
You saw me?
1593
01:47:23,617 --> 01:47:27,644
But l nailed you good
with my infrared night camera.
1594
01:47:28,422 --> 01:47:31,016
Here, take a look at these beauties.
1595
01:47:32,092 --> 01:47:35,323
That one, that one. Award-winning. Yeah.
1596
01:47:38,332 --> 01:47:40,391
Well, you got me.
1597
01:47:40,467 --> 01:47:44,233
Yes, indeedy, l got you.
As obvious as could be.
1598
01:47:44,404 --> 01:47:48,306
These photos are final and conclusive proof
to any skilled investigator,
1599
01:47:48,375 --> 01:47:51,310
that you really are Mr. Howard Ebbets.
1600
01:47:52,679 --> 01:47:54,840
lt's the same old story.
1601
01:47:54,915 --> 01:47:57,884
A wandering husband,
bored with his brunette wife,
1602
01:47:57,951 --> 01:48:02,854
sneaks over to pay a little visit
to the hot-looking blonde cookie next door.
1603
01:48:02,923 --> 01:48:06,791
-You've probably been doing it for months.
-Sneaking over...
1604
01:48:06,860 --> 01:48:10,489
But you didn't sneak out the last few nights.
And you know why?
1605
01:48:10,564 --> 01:48:12,862
-Yeah. Why?
-Bissell was home.
1606
01:48:12,933 --> 01:48:17,029
-Back from a business trip, l figured.
-What am l supposed to do now?
1607
01:48:17,104 --> 01:48:19,732
Well, l'd like to have
a nice private conversation with you,
1608
01:48:19,807 --> 01:48:22,867
and l think the best place
to do that would be in your car.
1609
01:48:22,943 --> 01:48:24,604
Come on, get right in there.
1610
01:48:24,678 --> 01:48:28,637
The car's a marvelous place
to conduct private business.
1611
01:48:30,517 --> 01:48:31,848
Hard to bug,
1612
01:48:31,919 --> 01:48:34,911
and you can't focus electronic stuff on them
while they're moving.
1613
01:48:35,155 --> 01:48:38,249
lf you don't mind,
l live out on 29th and Geary.
1614
01:48:45,399 --> 01:48:48,732
Well, the pictures are for sale, Mr. Ebbets.
Say 500 bucks.
1615
01:48:48,902 --> 01:48:52,736
After all, you wouldn't be sneaking around
if you didn't want it kept quiet.
1616
01:48:52,806 --> 01:48:55,775
l'll meet you tomorrow night
down in the lobby again.
1617
01:48:55,843 --> 01:48:59,677
l guess they'd be worth a lot more than that
if l wasn't Howard Ebbets.
1618
01:48:59,746 --> 01:49:04,376
Right. They'd be worth millions
to her cousins and a big fat bonus for me.
1619
01:49:15,896 --> 01:49:18,057
What did you do that for?
1620
01:49:18,298 --> 01:49:20,698
l kind of like to whip them
around the curves every now and then.
1621
01:49:20,767 --> 01:49:24,567
You know, it gets the old adrenalin going.
lt's good for you.
1622
01:49:42,422 --> 01:49:44,219
You're mad! Do you hear me?
1623
01:50:02,075 --> 01:50:03,201
l'd like to get out right here.
1624
01:50:03,277 --> 01:50:05,745
Nonsense.
Drive you right to your front door.
1625
01:50:13,320 --> 01:50:17,882
-Say, here's a fun street. Do you like curves?
-No, l hate curves.
1626
01:50:19,960 --> 01:50:21,552
Let's stop someplace.
1627
01:50:22,562 --> 01:50:27,056
-lt gets a little faster down at the end here.
-l don't feel well.
1628
01:50:31,672 --> 01:50:34,266
Why don't you drop me off
anywhere along here?
1629
01:50:34,341 --> 01:50:36,206
Actually, l'd enjoy the walk.
1630
01:50:36,276 --> 01:50:38,369
-lt's only 50 blocks.
-Nonsense.
1631
01:50:47,788 --> 01:50:49,016
Help me!
1632
01:51:05,005 --> 01:51:06,996
Look, l know a shortcut.
1633
01:51:18,685 --> 01:51:21,415
Well, here we are. You can come up now.
1634
01:51:36,670 --> 01:51:39,833
-Tell me, you drive to work every day?
-Sure do.
1635
01:51:39,906 --> 01:51:43,273
Somebody up there
must be absolutely crazy about you.
1636
01:51:45,245 --> 01:51:46,371
Bye.
1637
01:52:05,799 --> 01:52:08,029
Min? Min.
1638
01:52:08,101 --> 01:52:09,466
-Sam, what's wrong?
-You don't believe it.
1639
01:52:09,536 --> 01:52:12,437
l met that nutty private investigator.
l don't know where they got it,
1640
01:52:12,506 --> 01:52:13,996
-but there's billboards all over town.
-What?
1641
01:52:14,074 --> 01:52:15,166
-Me and Janet...
-What are you talking...
1642
01:52:15,242 --> 01:52:16,573
-There's no time to lose. Come on, dear.
-Sam!
1643
01:52:16,643 --> 01:52:18,941
-Hurry up. Come on.
-Sam, what are you talking about?
1644
01:52:19,046 --> 01:52:20,604
Just a minute. l've lost my shoe.
1645
01:52:20,680 --> 01:52:22,614
Come on, dear, l'll explain later.
We gotta get Janet.
1646
01:52:22,783 --> 01:52:26,082
You know, now that this is over
and you're gonna get the money, l...
1647
01:52:26,153 --> 01:52:29,554
Well, l think you're right.
We should stay separated.
1648
01:52:29,623 --> 01:52:33,457
Yeah, you'd never believe that l love you
and want you only for yourself.
1649
01:52:33,527 --> 01:52:36,519
Let's just say goodbye quietly,
1650
01:52:36,596 --> 01:52:40,225
and, well,
l wish you the world of happiness and...
1651
01:52:42,569 --> 01:52:46,005
-Goodbye.
-Why don't we really...
1652
01:52:48,408 --> 01:52:50,842
-Janet? Janet!
-Hold it! Hold it!
1653
01:52:50,911 --> 01:52:53,937
-Don't come barging in like that, Bissell.
-This is very important!
1654
01:52:54,014 --> 01:52:55,845
-Get all the paint you've got.
-Paint?
1655
01:52:55,916 --> 01:52:57,383
-Paint?
-You got any paint cans, spray cans,
1656
01:52:57,451 --> 01:52:59,180
paint brushes, anything you've got.
Get old clothes on.
1657
01:52:59,252 --> 01:53:00,913
l'll be over in the garage
getting all our stuff.
1658
01:53:00,987 --> 01:53:02,648
-Hurry up.
-What, Sam? Min, what is it?
1659
01:53:02,722 --> 01:53:04,189
-What's he talking about?
-What is it? Min!
1660
01:53:04,257 --> 01:53:08,694
l don't get it at all. Something about
a billboard and an investigator.
1661
01:53:09,930 --> 01:53:11,830
lnvestigator? Jan!
1662
01:53:12,099 --> 01:53:16,365
Jan, don't... Come back here.
Don't get tangled with that nut again!
1663
01:53:19,840 --> 01:53:23,003
-Janet, look, let's go back and talk...
-Sam, will you explain to me what it is,
1664
01:53:23,076 --> 01:53:24,338
-because l don't...
-l don't know how...
1665
01:53:24,411 --> 01:53:26,038
l don't understand. What happened?
1666
01:53:26,113 --> 01:53:28,479
You know those crazy billboards
that l dreamed up for Nurdlinger?
1667
01:53:28,548 --> 01:53:30,311
Well, l don't know where they got
pictures of you and me,
1668
01:53:30,383 --> 01:53:32,078
-but l haven't got time to explain...
-What? l don't...
1669
01:53:32,152 --> 01:53:33,517
We've got to deface them by morning.
1670
01:53:33,587 --> 01:53:35,282
Deface them? Are you...
You're out of your mind.
1671
01:53:35,355 --> 01:53:38,688
Look, don't you understand?
They think that we're married, Janet and me.
1672
01:53:38,758 --> 01:53:43,092
Our picture's up on billboards all over town.
lt's astounding. Big letters 10-feet high,
1673
01:53:43,163 --> 01:53:46,326
Mr. and Mrs. Sam Bissell blah-blah-blah,
Nurdlinger's things and so forth.
1674
01:53:46,399 --> 01:53:48,458
Now, the cousin and the detective see them
and there we are,
1675
01:53:48,535 --> 01:53:49,695
-we're through.
-My inheritance!
1676
01:53:49,769 --> 01:53:52,169
That's what l mean. Now get going.
Put these in the car and wait there.
1677
01:53:52,239 --> 01:53:55,970
-Bissell, what are you planning to do?
-We are going to paint out the faces.
1678
01:53:56,042 --> 01:53:57,100
-No!
-Yes.
1679
01:53:57,177 --> 01:53:59,645
-Sam!
-Listen, you're insane. Janet!
1680
01:53:59,713 --> 01:54:02,204
Janet, you can't go around
damaging private property.
1681
01:54:02,282 --> 01:54:05,774
-They'll throw you in jail.
-And what happens with my inheritance?
1682
01:54:05,852 --> 01:54:09,219
-Forget it. We don't need the money.
-You are running true to form.
1683
01:54:09,289 --> 01:54:12,417
lf things can't happen like you want it,
you just don't want to help.
1684
01:54:12,492 --> 01:54:16,258
Oh, boy! You're all crazy.
ln the middle of the night.
1685
01:54:16,329 --> 01:54:18,354
Min, you've gotta change.
You can't go like that.
1686
01:54:18,431 --> 01:54:20,331
-Here, put these on.
-No.
1687
01:54:20,400 --> 01:54:25,360
-Honey, this is no time to argue.
-No, Sam, this has gone far enough.
1688
01:54:26,006 --> 01:54:28,998
You've quit your job and you've ruined
our home life, and it's too much.
1689
01:54:29,075 --> 01:54:30,702
lt's just more than l can stand.
1690
01:54:30,777 --> 01:54:33,337
Look, dear, will you please?
Just this one more thing.
1691
01:54:33,413 --> 01:54:35,040
Think of the million dollars.
1692
01:54:35,115 --> 01:54:37,675
l want my home and my children
and my husband
1693
01:54:37,751 --> 01:54:39,878
and a little peace and quiet.
1694
01:54:39,953 --> 01:54:42,547
Look, you stay here, l've gotta go.
1695
01:54:42,622 --> 01:54:44,556
l'm a man without a job.
l want that million dollars.
1696
01:54:44,624 --> 01:54:46,023
-Sam.
-What?
1697
01:54:46,560 --> 01:54:49,290
lf you go,
l won't be here when you come back.
1698
01:54:49,462 --> 01:54:52,260
Min, you don't mean that and you know it.
l've got to go.
1699
01:54:52,332 --> 01:54:55,199
-Sam?
-Are you gonna come or not?
1700
01:54:55,268 --> 01:54:56,826
What's the use?
1701
01:55:22,028 --> 01:55:24,223
-Hurry up.
-l don't believe it.
1702
01:55:34,841 --> 01:55:37,810
Sam, look at that dreadful photograph
of me.
1703
01:55:37,877 --> 01:55:40,175
But l don't have a face thin like that.
1704
01:55:40,247 --> 01:55:43,683
This is no time to start admiring yourself.
Get going.
1705
01:56:39,272 --> 01:56:41,433
That's extremely good.
You don't know what you're missing.
1706
01:56:41,508 --> 01:56:43,305
Juvenile delinquents, both of you.
1707
01:57:34,961 --> 01:57:36,986
What's going on out there?
1708
01:57:37,397 --> 01:57:39,797
Well, we're underpaid schoolteachers,
1709
01:57:39,866 --> 01:57:42,699
and l have to moonlight
to feed my wife and children.
1710
01:57:42,769 --> 01:57:44,566
Hello. Good morning.
1711
01:57:45,138 --> 01:57:47,003
She's a schoolteacher?
1712
01:57:49,008 --> 01:57:50,532
Girls' hygiene.
1713
01:57:50,944 --> 01:57:54,175
God bless you for the wonderful work
you're doing.
1714
01:58:21,241 --> 01:58:24,142
-That's the last of them.
-Thanks for all your help, Howard.
1715
01:58:24,210 --> 01:58:27,145
-You've been grand.
-Sure, sure. l'm the one that's wrong.
1716
01:58:27,213 --> 01:58:29,875
Just because l won't go along
with this harebrained childish scheme
1717
01:58:29,949 --> 01:58:32,144
of Nutsy over there,
l'm the one that's wrong.
1718
01:58:32,218 --> 01:58:35,381
-That's been the history of our marriage.
-Marriage?
1719
01:58:35,455 --> 01:58:37,514
We are not married.
1720
01:58:37,590 --> 01:58:40,753
Once again, you demonstrate
your truly remarkable ability
1721
01:58:40,827 --> 01:58:44,160
to phrase things
in such a twisted and distorted way
1722
01:58:44,230 --> 01:58:46,596
as to make me look
as if l'm doing something ridiculous.
1723
01:58:46,666 --> 01:58:49,226
Disfiguring billboards all over town
in the middle of the night,
1724
01:58:49,302 --> 01:58:50,496
perfectly normal.
1725
01:58:50,570 --> 01:58:53,767
Just don't come crying to me for help
when you get caught.
1726
01:58:53,840 --> 01:58:56,365
We didn't ask you along.
Why don't you leave?
1727
01:58:56,443 --> 01:59:00,106
-l just may.
-Then go. Why are you hanging around?
1728
01:59:00,180 --> 01:59:03,911
All right, you silly... Goodbye.
1729
01:59:04,050 --> 01:59:05,950
And this time forever.
1730
01:59:06,019 --> 01:59:07,782
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
1731
01:59:10,924 --> 01:59:13,392
-Now how do we get up there?
-l'm gonna rent a room.
1732
01:59:13,460 --> 01:59:15,018
l'm gonna get across
on that roof by the fire escape.
1733
01:59:15,094 --> 01:59:16,391
-You wait here for me.
-No!
1734
01:59:16,463 --> 01:59:17,691
We started everything together,
1735
01:59:17,764 --> 01:59:20,733
-we're going to finish it together, Sam.
-Not in this neighborhood, Janet.
1736
01:59:20,800 --> 01:59:23,268
Please, not in that kind of hotel.
Just stay and wait here for me.
1737
01:59:23,336 --> 01:59:25,167
-No, but...
-Please!
1738
01:59:44,457 --> 01:59:49,485
Hi, l'd like a room, please. On the west side.
1739
01:59:50,163 --> 01:59:52,097
You got a reservation?
1740
01:59:53,399 --> 01:59:55,867
Well, no, l don't have... Reservation?
1741
01:59:55,935 --> 01:59:57,994
Sorry, l'm full up.
1742
01:59:59,205 --> 02:00:02,902
Well, look, l'm a traveling salesman.
1743
02:00:05,178 --> 02:00:09,080
-Thank you, Frankie baby.
-Everything okay, Sherry?
1744
02:00:10,383 --> 02:00:12,317
Talk to you later.
1745
02:00:18,458 --> 02:00:20,653
l deal in paints,
1746
02:00:20,727 --> 02:00:22,991
and my car broke down
just around the corner. They're fixing it up,
1747
02:00:23,062 --> 02:00:26,964
so l'll only need the room
for about an hour, two hours.
1748
02:00:27,033 --> 02:00:31,299
Why didn't you say what you want
in the first place? Who sent you? Charlie?
1749
02:00:32,805 --> 02:00:34,898
Charlie sent me.
1750
02:00:39,078 --> 02:00:40,409
Twenty bucks.
1751
02:00:44,050 --> 02:00:46,541
-Twenty?
-Twenty bucks, buddy.
1752
02:00:58,164 --> 02:01:01,793
Fourth floor, room 434.
Use that elevator over there.
1753
02:02:03,630 --> 02:02:05,120
$20?
1754
02:02:32,358 --> 02:02:34,019
lt's me, honey.
1755
02:02:42,368 --> 02:02:44,962
You must have the wrong room, ma'am.
1756
02:02:49,409 --> 02:02:51,206
-l'm sorry, forgive the way l look.
-No.
1757
02:02:51,277 --> 02:02:55,111
-But if you'll...
-No. No. No, not with me, buddy.
1758
02:02:55,682 --> 02:02:58,480
-No what? What...
-l mean, no, damn it!
1759
02:02:58,551 --> 02:03:01,520
l thought l've seen everything,
but this is a new one on me.
1760
02:03:01,587 --> 02:03:04,750
You lay a paintbrush on me
and l'm gonna scream this joint down.
1761
02:03:04,824 --> 02:03:06,985
-You don't...
-You're a psychiatric case,
1762
02:03:07,060 --> 02:03:09,119
-that's what you are.
-l see. Well, please...
1763
02:03:09,195 --> 02:03:12,562
Oh, boy, you keep away from me.
l'm gonna tell Frankie. He'll fix you!
1764
02:03:12,632 --> 02:03:16,500
No, don't tell anybody anything.
Wait! You don't understand.
1765
02:03:20,440 --> 02:03:22,271
Help! Help! Help!
1766
02:03:24,610 --> 02:03:25,907
Please...
1767
02:03:26,746 --> 02:03:29,306
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
1768
02:03:32,151 --> 02:03:34,881
Hey, lady, please don't holler!
1769
02:03:35,488 --> 02:03:36,819
What? What is it?
1770
02:03:39,292 --> 02:03:42,853
-Stop him!
-Stop screaming, lady, please.
1771
02:03:44,530 --> 02:03:45,724
Hold that elevator.
1772
02:03:46,265 --> 02:03:49,132
Hold that elevator. Hold that elevator.
1773
02:03:54,707 --> 02:03:58,234
Help, someone! Stop him!
Somebody, stop him!
1774
02:03:58,678 --> 02:04:01,806
Stop him! Stop him! Stop him!
1775
02:04:07,320 --> 02:04:09,550
Stop him! He wanted to paint me.
What's this world coming to?
1776
02:04:09,622 --> 02:04:12,853
Of all the lousy, crummy insects l ever saw.
1777
02:04:12,925 --> 02:04:14,893
l'll teach you to go around
lacquering up broads.
1778
02:04:14,961 --> 02:04:17,521
-Just a minute!
-Take your hands off him immediately.
1779
02:04:17,597 --> 02:04:19,497
-Stop it.
-Does this crumb belong to you, lady?
1780
02:04:19,565 --> 02:04:20,589
Yes, he's my husband.
1781
02:04:20,666 --> 02:04:21,928
Well, you'd better keep him
locked up at home
1782
02:04:22,001 --> 02:04:23,434
because he wanted to paint me.
1783
02:04:23,503 --> 02:04:25,403
-You don't...
-Don't be ridiculous.
1784
02:04:25,505 --> 02:04:30,306
This man is Mr. Samuel Bissell,
one of the great truly artists of the world.
1785
02:04:30,810 --> 02:04:32,835
He came in and checked into your hotel
to get away
1786
02:04:32,912 --> 02:04:36,211
from the hustle and bustle of the world
to do some serious painting.
1787
02:04:36,282 --> 02:04:38,648
No kidding? You mean, he's famous?
1788
02:04:38,718 --> 02:04:41,050
-Yes.
-Bissell? Bissell? l think l heard of him.
1789
02:04:41,120 --> 02:04:42,917
Or was it the carpet sweeper?
1790
02:04:42,989 --> 02:04:45,719
-lf you don't mind...
-Right this way.
1791
02:04:46,159 --> 02:04:48,024
Golly, l'm sorry. l wouldn't have...
1792
02:05:01,707 --> 02:05:03,106
There we go.
1793
02:05:03,176 --> 02:05:05,906
No, you go ahead, Sam.
And give my love to Min.
1794
02:05:05,978 --> 02:05:09,436
-Well, wait a minute, what about you?
-Well, l'll stay here for awhile.
1795
02:05:09,515 --> 02:05:12,040
l've got some unfinished business.
1796
02:05:16,522 --> 02:05:18,649
-Good luck.
-Bye.
1797
02:05:34,073 --> 02:05:35,404
-Jan.
-Go away.
1798
02:05:35,474 --> 02:05:36,566
-Jan.
-Go away.
1799
02:05:36,642 --> 02:05:39,406
l've been away, and l didn't like it.
1800
02:05:40,246 --> 02:05:42,544
l loved it.
l never had a better time in my life.
1801
02:05:42,615 --> 02:05:45,209
You're lying.
You missed me as much as l missed you.
1802
02:05:45,284 --> 02:05:50,085
-Which happens to be not at all.
-Oh, boy. Okay, okay, l tried.
1803
02:05:50,156 --> 02:05:53,990
Lord knows l tried, but l've had it.
This time l've had it for good.
1804
02:05:54,360 --> 02:05:55,486
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
1805
02:05:55,561 --> 02:05:57,222
-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.
1806
02:05:57,830 --> 02:06:03,427
Howard, l just want you to know
that l know why you say you want me back.
1807
02:06:04,337 --> 02:06:07,500
-Really?
-Yes. Because of my $15 million.
1808
02:06:07,573 --> 02:06:10,269
-That's why.
-What? Wait a minute. What?
1809
02:06:10,343 --> 02:06:13,176
You heard me.
You want me because of my money.
1810
02:06:13,279 --> 02:06:15,338
-l want you because of your money?
-Yes.
1811
02:06:15,414 --> 02:06:18,247
How dare you?
How dare you say a thing like that?
1812
02:06:18,317 --> 02:06:20,785
How dare you talk to me
in that tone of voice?
1813
02:06:20,853 --> 02:06:23,617
-Just get out of here, that's all!
-Don't you worry. l'm getting out.
1814
02:06:23,723 --> 02:06:27,181
But not before l give you something
you've had coming to you for a long time,
1815
02:06:27,260 --> 02:06:31,526
-a good swift kick in the hind end.
-You wouldn't dare!
1816
02:06:34,800 --> 02:06:37,769
-Now you're going to get it, Howard Ebbets.
-How do you like that?
1817
02:06:37,837 --> 02:06:41,136
-Am l going to belt you.
-No, no, no, mister.
1818
02:06:42,074 --> 02:06:47,171
Block her with a left. Come on now.
And clip her. Clip her with a left.
1819
02:06:47,246 --> 02:06:49,146
-Go ahead.
-Would you mind not...
1820
02:06:49,782 --> 02:06:51,647
You did it! You did it again.
1821
02:06:51,717 --> 02:06:53,116
-Right in the tricep.
-My darling, l'm so sorry.
1822
02:06:53,185 --> 02:06:55,346
-My whole arm's paralyzed.
-l'm so sorry.
1823
02:06:55,488 --> 02:06:57,319
Does it hurt? Can you move your hand?
1824
02:06:57,390 --> 02:07:00,086
Yes, it does hurt.
Does that make you feel better?
1825
02:07:01,227 --> 02:07:04,594
-Yes, it does.
-Hey, goofy.
1826
02:07:06,699 --> 02:07:10,032
Would you mind, sir?
This happens to be a private argument.
1827
02:07:10,670 --> 02:07:14,128
l'm so sorry. l'm really...
l am. l'm really sorry.
1828
02:07:14,206 --> 02:07:16,936
Hey, goofy. l love you.
1829
02:07:17,376 --> 02:07:20,174
You know, it's taken me all these months
to realize how much.
1830
02:07:20,246 --> 02:07:22,942
What do you say we try it again, huh?
1831
02:07:46,706 --> 02:07:49,140
Hey, dear! Min! We made it.
1832
02:08:07,159 --> 02:08:09,320
No. Min? Min?
1833
02:08:25,411 --> 02:08:27,538
l didn't know where to go.
1834
02:08:45,097 --> 02:08:47,622
Of all the silly things for me to do.
1835
02:08:48,334 --> 02:08:51,269
After being married to you all these years,
1836
02:08:52,071 --> 02:08:54,938
l couldn't walk out on you and my babies.
1837
02:08:55,641 --> 02:08:59,475
l'm so used to your silly face
and your goofy ways.
1838
02:09:00,846 --> 02:09:02,108
You love me and you know it.
1839
02:09:02,181 --> 02:09:05,150
You loved me when l was a mail clerk
for 40 bucks a week.
1840
02:09:07,820 --> 02:09:12,951
-Mommy! Daddy! We're home.
-Here we are. Don't they look marvelous?
1841
02:09:13,025 --> 02:09:14,424
-Hi.
-How are you?
1842
02:09:17,363 --> 02:09:21,197
Grandma took us to the merry-go-round,
and l went on a giraffe,
1843
02:09:21,267 --> 02:09:23,531
and it went up and down, and l threw up.
1844
02:09:23,602 --> 02:09:26,594
But Jenna didn't throw up
because she was on a horse.
1845
02:09:26,672 --> 02:09:28,970
And did you know that Grandma
takes her teeth out
1846
02:09:29,041 --> 02:09:31,032
before she goes to bed, Daddy?
1847
02:09:31,110 --> 02:09:34,511
Could l please take my teeth out
when l get bigger? Please, Daddy?
1848
02:09:35,081 --> 02:09:37,413
Yes. Things are back to normal.
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