Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:20,219
Hey, pay attention,fuckers...
2
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:23,689
I need you to cancel that
thing today, the debate.
3
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,157
Why?
4
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,026
Because my sister's dead.
5
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,260
Hey, why aren't you drinking?
6
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:29,495
Son of a bitch,
what's in this?
7
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:32,398
Fuckers...
8
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,733
No angle;
a proposal.
9
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:38,470
What's the one thing you and
I were always good at together?
10
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,740
Ha!
A new dealership?
11
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:44,276
You're going to win it for me.
12
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:45,744
It's my new long-term plan.
13
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,047
Relax Foxley, I got this!
14
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:50,682
A campaign that has
zero focus, no platform,
15
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,618
and not a single
female supporter?
16
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,219
This is serious, Fitz!
17
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,622
Chester, I'm leaving you!
18
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,290
Motherfucker!
19
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:01,627
You faked your sister'sdeath to get votes?
20
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:05,197
What do you have to say for
yourself, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
21
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,465
My sister's alive!
22
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,534
It's a miracle!
23
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,437
[organ music throughout]
24
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:14,139
Oh, God...
Oh God...
25
00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:15,541
You wanna know what I believe?
26
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,676
Chumps wait for miracles.
27
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,311
Fitzpatricks getwhat they want
28
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:22,081
by following theten commandments...
29
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:25,317
There will be noother gods before me.
30
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,119
Obviously.
31
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:29,121
Never take theLord's name in vain.
32
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,589
Unless it's justified.
33
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,224
Jesus Christ,
sweet mother of fuck.
34
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,226
Where's my lighter, Larry!
35
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,361
Don't worship false idols.
36
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,097
Unless you're outof single malt.
37
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,631
God, I hate blended.
38
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,668
[moaning]
39
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,369
Observe the Lord's Day.
40
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,871
Fuck me, Fitz.
41
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:48,674
Oh, I observed it alright.
42
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:51,643
Honor thy father.
43
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,780
Don't kill -- intentionally.
44
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,149
Then there's the one thingthat no one gives a shit about
45
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:58,717
so, who cares.
46
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,853
Then there's theadultery thing-
47
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:03,655
Get him!
The stealing thing...
48
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,692
And, finally, my favoritecommandment of all...
49
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,360
Covet thy neighbour.
50
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,795
She's actually the
neighbour's daughter.
51
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,630
But who's counting?
52
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,233
Because when youlive life right,
53
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,702
good things just happen...
54
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,405
[grunting]
55
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,907
[splash]
56
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,510
Amen.
57
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,911
[flushing]
58
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:36,255
♪
59
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:17,229
[lively gospel music]
60
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:21,266
'Ooo, we are Fitzpatricks
and we rise from the dead.'
61
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,335
There has not been
one customer all day
62
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,237
because of their
blasphemy, Cousin.
63
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,406
Yes, the devil
Father Fitzpatrick
64
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,441
has found a most
ingenious way
65
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,310
out of our
sales contract -
66
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,645
starting his own religion.
67
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:37,349
And giving away free cars
with every $5000 "donation".
68
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,218
I say bah!
69
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,385
We shall overcome,
70
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,687
for we are Ruptal.
71
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:43,655
When has religion ever
stopped us before?
72
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,258
When the authorities put
you on their no-fly list.
73
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,793
It is preposterous of them
74
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,361
to think I could
hijack a plane
75
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,263
with a pair of nose
hair clippers...
76
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:52,931
Nose hair clippers!
77
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,545
Go find out what's going on.
78
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:07,613
No.
79
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,514
I'll be at the DUI-
Did you just say no?
80
00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:10,916
I did.
Why the fuck not?
81
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,618
Because the
election is imminent
82
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,553
and we need to focus
on shoring up votes.
83
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,255
That means hand shaking.
Baby kissing.
84
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:17,656
Last minute campaigning.
85
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,790
Who gives a shit
what you think?
86
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,926
I have faith in me and
that's all that matters.
87
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,794
Well, it's a good
thing you have faith,
88
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:23,929
because it's going
to take a miracle
89
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,330
for you to win this election.
90
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:26,765
I refer to my first response:
91
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,333
who gives a shit
what you think.
92
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,469
The election is in the bag.
93
00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:39,645
Iris?
94
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,381
[heavenly music]
95
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,515
NEXT!
96
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,717
C'mon, get out of here.
97
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,886
All right,
c'mon, c'mon...
98
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,925
What's up?
It's my hip.
99
00:04:55,061 --> 00:05:02,734
[gibberish sounds]
100
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,036
You are healed.
101
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:05,704
You didn't even touch me.
102
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,005
I said you're healed.
103
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,407
Now go get your car.
Pervert.
104
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,641
Out!
105
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,942
She's the mother
fucking messiah!
106
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,444
Do what she says!
107
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,845
Yeah.
I'm the Messiah.
108
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,013
Right, Mommy?
109
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,415
And we're on
a tight fucking schedule!
110
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:19,551
Let's go!
NEXT!
111
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,953
All right, sweet cheeks,what's up?
112
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,926
Iris?
113
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,529
Hi...
114
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,331
How did you find me?
115
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,665
Actually...
116
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,834
I'm here for the miracle.
117
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,102
It seemed too good to be true
118
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,004
but I had to see for myself.
119
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,073
It is a miracle, Iris...
120
00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:43,608
Us running into each
other like this.
121
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,877
I could escort you
to the tent, if you want.
122
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:49,014
And then...
123
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:52,551
...maybe we can go
for ice cream.
124
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:56,455
You and me?
Like, a date?
125
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:59,958
Oh, you don't need
to call it that.
126
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,493
Unless you want to.
127
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,861
Which is fine.
Or not.
128
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,664
Is it fine?
129
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:09,735
Iris, I don't think
it's an accident
130
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:12,070
you wandered onto this lot.
131
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:15,807
All these weeks, you
and me and the specter
132
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:19,044
of the deceased creatures
who we both once loved.
133
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:23,682
It's fate, Iris.
134
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:27,586
Our very own miracle!
135
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:30,055
No, Larry.
It isn't.
136
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,990
It isn't that at all.
137
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:45,170
♪ Money, money, money
138
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,772
Tax free profit.
Hallefuckinglujah.
139
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:50,409
We always were great
business partners, Lainey.
140
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,576
Shitty parents.
141
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:52,944
Nightmare marriage.
142
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:56,114
But goddamn geniuses when
it came to pushing tin.
143
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,649
I am the messiah!
144
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,418
Is it too much to
ask for a soda
145
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:00,585
and a clean goddamn
dressing room?!
146
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,487
We have to get the little
douchebag under control.
147
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,656
Jesus freaks like
their shit clean.
148
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,459
A church?
149
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:09,561
You fucking
kidding me?
150
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,129
What's he doing here?
151
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,764
A freak show
I could understand.
152
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,065
"Come see the bearded lady."
153
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,435
I told you I had electrolysis!
Now fuck off!
154
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:17,702
This is my miracle!
155
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:20,705
Daddy!
I want him out of here now!
156
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,674
These suckers wouldn't be
here if it wasn't for me.
157
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:25,010
[laughing]
158
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,546
It was my idea to kill
her in the first place!
159
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,814
You'll all be fucking sorry
160
00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:31,082
when I win the election and
shut this shit show down!
161
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,585
Better start praying
for a miracle, Fucker.
162
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,154
Because I'm telling everyone
to vote for Chester Vince!
163
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,823
Before or after you shave?
164
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,090
Hey, watch the suit!
165
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,692
You need a time out, Mister.
166
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,194
Me? She started it!
167
00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:44,095
She's always ruining my shit!
168
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,197
Breaking my toys!
169
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:46,631
Now my campaign!
170
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,833
Hit the bricks!
171
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,801
And you can tell those curry
packers across the road
172
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,870
Ken Fitzpatrick is back.
173
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,805
And Elaine Fitzpatrick.
174
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,106
Yeah, her too.
175
00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:58,510
Fuck you -- all of you!
176
00:07:58,512 --> 00:07:59,978
Bye-bye,
Richard!
177
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:02,647
Divide and conquer.
178
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,783
I deal with Joan of Bark here.
179
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,985
You make sure numb-nuts
doesn't fuck up my scam.
180
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,787
Our scam.
181
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,055
That's what I said.
182
00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:18,096
Eat my scraps,
asshole!
183
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,065
I need more fucking ketchup!
184
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,033
Squirt bottle!
185
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,702
Out of the trough, Legs.
186
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,804
We need to shore up votes.
And fast.
187
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,039
Oh, look who's decided
to wake up and give shit.
188
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,541
After last week's
little debacle,
189
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:30,709
you still think
we have a shot?
190
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,244
I don't need a shot.
I'm the fucking pistol.
191
00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:33,712
Now move!
192
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,514
Don't talk to me like
I'm one of your minions.
193
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:36,848
I busted my ass
for this campaign
194
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,250
and look what it got me.
195
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:40,719
Fine.
Put the wings on my tab.
196
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:41,853
Fuck you.
197
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:44,089
I am responsible for
my own failed career,
198
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:48,193
my bad choice of business
partner, my stress eating.
199
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,227
Wow.
200
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,963
Melody Gray was
right about you.
201
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,999
What did she say?
202
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:56,167
You tell me, Cankles.
203
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,769
I was big boned
204
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,005
and I had a note to get
out of that fitness test.
205
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,806
I am not a quitter.
206
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,144
Fine.
207
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,113
But I'm doing this for me.
208
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,681
Not you.
209
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,049
Me.
210
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,720
Any day now.
211
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,834
Scotch.
212
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,804
Vodka.
213
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,339
Better make it a triple,
Old Lady,
214
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:36,308
because after I get through
with you and Molly Mormon,
215
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,143
you're gonna need it.
216
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:40,045
You always were a poor loser.
217
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,780
Says the woman who rigged
'pin the tail on the donkey'
218
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:42,981
at my birthday party
219
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,783
so she could fuck
the winner's old man.
220
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,851
I should be thanking
you, actually.
221
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:49,020
You and your sister are
finally paying off.
222
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,323
The only reason we had
you shit dispensers
223
00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:53,124
was so we could make money.
224
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,860
You mean that bullshit angle
Ken's playing?
225
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,362
That's short term.
226
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,598
I get into office,
you can make some real coin.
227
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,733
You really think
you're going to win.
228
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,234
Better fucking believe it.
229
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:04,970
Know what I believe?
230
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:07,172
You don't have a shot in hell.
231
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:10,342
Ken's going to fuck you over
just like he always does.
232
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:16,314
You can't con a conner, Kid.
233
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:19,684
Just stay out of our way.
234
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:28,627
You're gonna vote
for me, right, Charlie?
235
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,328
You gonna find another
place to drink?
236
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,703
[knocking]Vote for Fitz!
237
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,853
[grunting]
238
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:22,347
Stop it.
He's not even worth it.
239
00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:29,020
She loves me not.
240
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,424
She loves me not.
241
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:35,193
She still loves me not.
242
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:37,896
Oh, fuck.
243
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,698
Don't you have
somewhere else to be?
244
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,333
I am upset.
245
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,269
And you should eat
something first.
246
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,271
You'll need your strength
for what lies ahead.
247
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,106
Women looking for miracles,
248
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:51,276
and men unable to give them.
249
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,244
When will you learn, Larry.
250
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,879
Pussies don't get pussy.
251
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,715
Love is a
battlefield, Richard.
252
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:59,050
And this soldier
has lost the war.
253
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,151
Nu uh.
254
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,721
The battle is over
when I say it's over.
255
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:06,758
You really think I have
a chance with Iris?
256
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,259
Fuck Iris.
257
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:11,062
I prefer the term
"go for ice cream".
258
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:15,767
That's it...
259
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,769
Steal support...
260
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,104
Win votes...
261
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,271
Blow shit up...
262
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,806
I never said any of that.
263
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,875
Then I'll say it
for you, Rumpcrunch.
264
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:27,112
Two words -- mother
fucking holy war.
265
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,346
That's four words.
266
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,448
Yeah.
It worked in Iraq.
267
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,016
It worked in Afghanistan.
268
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:34,786
And tomorrow,
it's gonna work for me.
269
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:45,964
Get your jihadist
asses out here!
270
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,265
Who is dead now?
271
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,000
Or perhaps you
wish to subject us
272
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,468
to more racial stereotypes.
273
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,837
What the fuck, Josh?
No.
274
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,773
I just need you to help me
blow up a church.
275
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,775
Wicked.
On it, Buddy.
276
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,842
What about our holy oath
277
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,410
to not help him with
his plans anymore?
278
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,779
Oh right.
279
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:01,980
Solidarity, Cousin.
280
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,114
You are no cousin of mine.
281
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,282
Look, you don't like me,
282
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,850
and I sure as hell
don't like you.
283
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,218
But there's a bigger
threat out there.
284
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,553
Godzilla.
285
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:12,157
No, my family is carpet bombing
your customers and my voters.
286
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,892
We've got to take them down.
287
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,227
Two birds.
One bomb.
288
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,896
Sales have declined.
289
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,531
Joining forces with
our mortal enemy
290
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:21,933
may be the solution we need.
291
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,269
This is the Soviets
all over again...
292
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,138
I am not going on that stage
293
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,341
until I get a new pillow, lip
balm, and my theater tickets.
294
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,311
And by the way, why are there
no towels in my change room?
295
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,481
I can't work under
these conditions....
296
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,216
What a fucking prima donna.
297
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,818
She gets that from you!
298
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,953
Divide and conquer, dipshit.
299
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,022
What the fuck have you
been doing all day?
300
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,557
Do you know how long it
takes to adjust the lighting
301
00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:48,426
so people don't think she's
the fucking antichrist?
302
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,562
You take care of
the little slut bucket.
303
00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:51,963
Hello?
304
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,565
I'm trying to keep cock snot's
305
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,500
sticky little fingers
out of our pot.
306
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:59,103
Complaining about
our demon spawn.
307
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,573
This is so "us".
[laughs]
308
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:03,007
Don't worry
about this shit, Lainey.
309
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,876
This shit will
work itself out.
310
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,578
We're winners, you and me.
311
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,179
And we're back in the green.
312
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,314
And by the way...
313
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:11,049
Don't get me started
about the audience.
314
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,617
Who vets these people?
315
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,485
Burn, infidel!How did all the fattiesend up down front?
316
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:22,393
What kind of retard forgets
to light a Molotov cocktail?
317
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,995
You idiot!
318
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:26,097
Where did you go to
terrorist school?
319
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,465
Hey!
He didn't.
320
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,634
I do have a Bachelor
in Fine Arts.
321
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:32,136
Cut him some slack.
It's his first holy war.
322
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:34,505
As usual, I've got to
do everything myself.
323
00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:39,110
Come one, come all!
324
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,945
To see the real miracle!
325
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:42,881
Why worship the resurrected,
326
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,283
when you can worship,
and vote for,
327
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,885
the RESURRECTOR!
328
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,320
And get free cars.
329
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:52,290
For a reasonable
monetary donation.
330
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,925
That snakey fuck.
331
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:55,994
See the man responsible
332
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,429
for raising the bearded
lady from the dead!
333
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,564
Fuck you!
334
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,332
I do not have a beard!
335
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,134
Yes you do!
336
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,536
Come back and
worship my daughter!
337
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,507
You want to believe
in something?
338
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,609
I'll tell you what
to believe in --
339
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,445
Richard Fitzpatrick
for City Council!
340
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,648
No!
341
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:20,151
There shall be no
other gods except me!
342
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,020
Especially not my
stupid brother!
343
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,623
Come on, you guys!
344
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,091
This is dealing with him?
345
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,460
You always were too
soft on these kids.
346
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:33,197
Don't worry, hot stuff -
I got this.
347
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,039
You!
348
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,441
No, dear god.
No.
349
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,244
Please just make it quick.
350
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,445
Relax.
351
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,314
My shithead kid is
messing up my scam
352
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:50,682
with my other shithead kid.
353
00:15:50,684 --> 00:15:52,283
You're the only one
that can talk sense
354
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,551
into that ass baby.
355
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,720
I want you to go over there
and do it now.
356
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,089
I can't help you.
357
00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,190
I can't help anyone.
358
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,225
I can't even help myself.
359
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,428
What's with the pity
party, fuck face?
360
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,263
It's no one.
361
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:09,634
Just a sweet angel who took my
heart in her delicate fingers,
362
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:13,171
and then ravaged it like
a Polynesian cannibal.
363
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,439
And I don't even know why.
364
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,540
I'll tell you why.
365
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,476
You're a spineless
yes man to a dirtbag.
366
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,211
What woman wants that?
367
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,713
You're right.
368
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:24,115
And you know what else?
369
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,317
[whispers]
I killed a bird.
370
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,753
No wonder Iris
finds me repulsive.
371
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,488
Oh.
A dead bird.
372
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,589
That's the reason.
373
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:32,657
I know.
374
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,025
Look, Nancy--
It's Larry.
375
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:35,426
Look, Nancy, grow a set.
376
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,161
It's time you took a stand.
377
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,464
Call bullshit when it stinks.
378
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:43,067
Yeah, it's my responsibility
to show the public
379
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,702
that Richard isn't
what he says he is...
380
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,671
that there are no such
things as miracles...
381
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,172
Make it quick, Slim Jim.
382
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,608
I've got a fake
church to salvage.
383
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,043
Good talk.
384
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,613
Vodka.
Make it snappy.
385
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,320
My sister was dead.
386
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,589
And at her grave,
387
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:08,359
I asked the Lord
to return her.
388
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,061
For she was innocent.
389
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:15,266
Unstable, yes,
unattractive, yes,
390
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,168
but she was innocent.
391
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:21,272
And I felt something
surge through me
392
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:24,342
as I touched my dead sister.
393
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,743
[audience groaning]
394
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,746
No!
It was the Lord's power.
395
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:32,483
Blessed be Jesus,
zombie maker.
396
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,085
We talked about this.
397
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,319
She's not a zombie.
398
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,687
It was the cannabis.
399
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:41,292
Praised be to the
blue eyed devil, Fitz!
400
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:45,129
Anyway, vote Fitz,
and when I'm in office,
401
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:50,101
I'll resurrect anyone
and anything you desire.
402
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,070
Are you sure about that?
403
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,606
Yes, that's why all these
good people are here today.
404
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,075
Am I right?
405
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,210
Then resurrect this--
406
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,145
--Titmouse.
407
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:02,447
That's right!
408
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,681
A dead bird.
409
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:08,219
Surely no match for
the resurrector.
410
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,288
I'm calling bull...
411
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:13,591
poop that smells, Mister.
412
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,759
What the fuck are you doing?
413
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,162
Taking a stand and
telling everyone here
414
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:21,632
that he faked his own
sister's death.
415
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,801
[gasps]
416
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,737
Hey, where you going?
Come back!
417
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,106
What happened, Richard?
418
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:30,708
What happened to
the Last Honest Man?
419
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,177
[gasp]
Ice cream!
420
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:35,580
[¶]
421
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,115
Ice cream!
422
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,328
Problem solved, Baby...
423
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:55,633
It's not what it looks like.
424
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,636
Fuck, Lainey.
425
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,238
The gay mafia's after me.
426
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,639
I need this cash.
427
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,675
I can't go find some
rich fuck like you.
428
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,812
All I got is my sparkling
personality and this scam.
429
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,780
And me.
430
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,449
I wasn't going to take you.
431
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,651
But I rose from the dead!
432
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,852
You said this was our thing.
433
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,321
You said if I helped
hide this from Mom--
434
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:24,762
The little shit was
right about you!
435
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,336
Fuck.
436
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:35,806
Lainey!
437
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,882
Go get me a scotch.
438
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:45,917
Fuck you.
439
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:47,919
All of you.
440
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:50,755
From this moment forward,
I am emancipating myself
441
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,524
from this family!
442
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,526
Now that's a fucking miracle.
443
00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:06,871
[humming happily]
444
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:17,215
♪
445
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,427
You think I'm going to roll
over for you, Chester?
446
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:32,997
You think I don't know that
leadership requires sacrifice?
447
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,832
You think I wouldn't be
able to bury people alive
448
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,934
to ensure the survival
of my country?
449
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:40,705
I know that sometimes you have
to chop someone's head off!
450
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,340
I'm just as tough as Idi Amin.
451
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:45,243
I'm just as tough as any
of those motherfuckers!
452
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:50,915
[crying]
453
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:07,798
Ow... ow...
454
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,375
[sigh]
455
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:20,511
It's over for good
this time, Roger.
456
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,513
May I call you Roger?
457
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:28,319
Iris--
458
00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:30,388
Don't speak.
459
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,593
I'm sorry I ran away before.
460
00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:37,328
Things are complicated.
461
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,997
But so what, right?
462
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:42,466
Tell that to the titmouse.
463
00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:48,406
I would like to go
for ice cream with you.
464
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,541
So much ice cream.
465
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,009
I would like to go
for ice cream with you
466
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:54,312
more than you
could ever imagine.
467
00:21:59,351 --> 00:22:03,821
I told Richard
miracles don't happen
468
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:07,391
but this is a miracle.
469
00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:10,594
Oh, Iris --
470
00:22:10,596 --> 00:22:14,098
There is just one
thing I need to do.
471
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,901
I know, Larry.
472
00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:19,003
Would you just...
Thanks.
473
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:29,080
This is Melody Gray reporting
live outside City Hall.
474
00:22:29,082 --> 00:22:33,684
Exit polls show Chester Vince
with a commanding lead.
475
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,886
No doubt this is in
response to this reporter's
476
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:38,389
shocking exposé
of local lothario
477
00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:39,957
and rumored polygamist
cult leader,
478
00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:42,460
Richard Fitzpatrick.
479
00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:44,428
The dream is dead, Fitz.
480
00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:49,133
Josh, how many times
do I have to tell you,
481
00:22:49,135 --> 00:22:51,068
a bookstore is not
a strip club.
482
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:52,837
Larry paid me to
bring you here.
In coffee.
483
00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:55,940
I got nothing to say
to that backstabber.
484
00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:58,642
There are miracles, Richard.
485
00:22:58,644 --> 00:23:00,144
There are.
486
00:23:00,146 --> 00:23:01,512
Iris came back to me.
487
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:02,780
Good.
488
00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:06,417
That makes up for the shit
storm you turned my life into.
489
00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:07,518
I know you're upset.
490
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,686
And, as your conscience,
491
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,688
I feel you deserve
one last shot.
492
00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:12,757
And I deserve a coffee.
493
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,425
We may be down in the polls.
Broke.
494
00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:16,527
And have lost the holy war.
495
00:23:16,529 --> 00:23:18,696
But there is one thing
you have not tried.
496
00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:20,097
The pumpkin scones.
497
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:21,966
They're amazing.
498
00:23:21,968 --> 00:23:23,834
Prayer.
499
00:23:23,836 --> 00:23:25,169
Fuck off, Larry.
500
00:23:25,171 --> 00:23:27,104
All that faith crap
was just bullshit.
501
00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:28,572
Since you're banned from...
502
00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:29,707
every church in town,
503
00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:31,442
I thought we could try
the theology section.
504
00:23:31,444 --> 00:23:34,979
Still holy and
thirty percent off.
505
00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:37,648
Please Richard,
one little prayer.
506
00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:40,418
How can it hurt?
507
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:43,487
I'll buy you a coffee.
508
00:23:43,489 --> 00:23:46,690
Fine. Tall half skinny one
percent extra hot split
509
00:23:46,692 --> 00:23:48,926
quad shot half sweet
caramel macchiato.
510
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,829
No whip.
Okay, whip.
511
00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:53,864
Chocolate sprinkles?
I'm not gay.
512
00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:59,003
After all, how can
this city be expected
513
00:23:59,005 --> 00:24:01,605
to trust a councillor who
can't even make good
514
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:04,575
on a promise
to resurrect a dead bird?
515
00:24:04,577 --> 00:24:06,110
And with the polls
about to close,
516
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,912
this reporter is confident
517
00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:10,781
in declaring Chester Vince
the winner.
518
00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:12,450
We'll see about that.
519
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,094
Hey, God.
520
00:24:24,096 --> 00:24:25,763
It's me, Fitz.
521
00:24:25,765 --> 00:24:27,665
I need to speak to Frank.
522
00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:31,969
Uh...hey, Frank.
523
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:36,474
I don't know if you're
listening, but how you doin'?
524
00:24:36,476 --> 00:24:38,509
Hope that bus crash with
the cheerleaders last week
525
00:24:38,511 --> 00:24:41,846
spiced the party up a bit,
know what I mean?
526
00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:44,181
Fuck, I don't know
what I mean.
527
00:24:46,651 --> 00:24:49,053
Fuck, Frank.
528
00:24:49,055 --> 00:24:52,089
A guy needs a break
once in a while, you know?
529
00:24:52,091 --> 00:24:55,125
Cold streak's gotta end.
530
00:24:55,127 --> 00:24:58,629
I'm a good guy...
531
00:24:58,631 --> 00:25:01,765
Look, here's the thing.
532
00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:03,534
I'm having a kid.
533
00:25:03,536 --> 00:25:05,769
...And I don't want
the little fucker
534
00:25:05,771 --> 00:25:08,806
to think I'm a loser
like my old man.
535
00:25:08,808 --> 00:25:12,576
I got to win thisfucking election.
536
00:25:12,578 --> 00:25:13,944
Throw me a bone,will ya, Frank?
537
00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:15,579
Fitz?
538
00:25:15,581 --> 00:25:16,847
Oh, and...
539
00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:19,917
If you could you make sure
he's got a decent head of hair.
540
00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:22,586
No tail.
541
00:25:22,588 --> 00:25:24,188
Amen.
542
00:25:35,735 --> 00:25:37,134
Good enough.
543
00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:40,638
[¶]
544
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:44,008
This is Melody Gray reporting
live outside City Hall.
545
00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:46,844
And I am getting the
official announcement now...
546
00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:49,079
You've got to be
fucking kidding me.
547
00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:50,848
Richard Fitzpatrick won?
548
00:25:50,850 --> 00:25:53,117
Ha ha!
That's right, Fuckers!
549
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:54,184
Fitz won!
550
00:25:54,186 --> 00:25:55,986
And I won it for him!
551
00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:57,688
Woo hoo!
552
00:25:57,690 --> 00:26:00,791
Suck it, Coverton!
Suck it hard!
553
00:26:00,793 --> 00:26:02,893
Yeah!
43680
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
