Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,431 --> 00:00:03,631
♪♪
2
00:00:04,705 --> 00:00:06,205
Ben:
Okay, Emma...
3
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:08,077
we were officially late
20 minutes ago,
4
00:00:08,079 --> 00:00:09,679
so if we could
skip today's game
5
00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,180
of Socks on, Socks off,
that would be great.
6
00:00:13,784 --> 00:00:16,094
Oh, and remember, we have
yet another exciting
7
00:00:16,087 --> 00:00:17,717
preschool interview
after daycare.
8
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,748
If they ask you
what you consider
9
00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:22,750
to be your greatest weakness,
smile and look confident.
10
00:00:22,753 --> 00:00:25,233
It's not an answer,
but it confuses people.
11
00:00:28,259 --> 00:00:30,299
I'm not gonna lie,
kind of looking forward
12
00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:33,101
to you being someone else's
problem for the next five hours.
13
00:00:33,104 --> 00:00:34,574
Momma.
14
00:00:34,565 --> 00:00:36,635
(chuckles)
Thankfully, she's not
our problem anymore.
15
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:37,937
Momma.
16
00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,438
No, sweetheart.
Not your--
17
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,170
-(music plays from TV)
-Hey, that really is your Momma.
18
00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:47,246
Freeze, dirtbag!
19
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,218
Your worst nightmare is here.
20
00:00:52,383 --> 00:00:55,433
She got the "nightmare"
part right.
21
00:00:55,426 --> 00:00:56,586
I'm so late. Okay.
22
00:00:56,587 --> 00:00:57,927
All right, let's go.
23
00:00:57,928 --> 00:00:59,958
Hey, let's do that thing
that we did last week
24
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,290
with the cops and get
an escort again. Yeah.
25
00:01:02,293 --> 00:01:05,203
(theme music playing)
26
00:01:05,196 --> 00:01:08,036
♪ It's amazing
how the unexpected ♪
27
00:01:08,038 --> 00:01:11,268
♪ Can take your life
and change directions ♪
28
00:01:15,306 --> 00:01:16,676
Okay, people!
29
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,607
Get your asses in gear!
30
00:01:18,609 --> 00:01:21,179
Your new manager is here!
31
00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:24,762
Bar on B is officially my bitch!
32
00:01:25,856 --> 00:01:27,316
Hey, Mom?
Remember when I said,
33
00:01:27,318 --> 00:01:28,818
"Don't get carried away.
34
00:01:28,819 --> 00:01:30,689
"I just need you to fill in
for Sam while she's out of town
35
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:31,721
for a few days"?
36
00:01:31,722 --> 00:01:32,862
What's your point?
37
00:01:32,863 --> 00:01:35,303
This is carried away.
38
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,096
Ugh, well I don't even know
39
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,067
why you hired her
in the first place.
40
00:01:39,069 --> 00:01:42,029
If you're gonna hire just
any old, unqualified floozy,
41
00:01:42,032 --> 00:01:43,772
you should have hired me.
42
00:01:43,774 --> 00:01:45,144
Sam's doing just fine.
43
00:01:45,136 --> 00:01:46,776
Oh. Oh, really?
44
00:01:46,777 --> 00:01:49,607
Because this place looks
pretty dead to me.
45
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,040
We're not open yet.
46
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:53,911
Look, honey, I know
that you think business is fine,
47
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:56,124
but I'm here to tell you,
it could be even better.
48
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,816
Look, let me help you. Please?
49
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,819
You won't recognize this place
when I'm done with it.
50
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,921
Oh, my God. Mom, no.
51
00:02:04,855 --> 00:02:06,595
Nice try.
52
00:02:06,597 --> 00:02:08,157
You put that away right now.
53
00:02:08,159 --> 00:02:09,259
You put it away.
54
00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:10,730
I don't want to see that again.
55
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,173
-(beep)
-And blog posted.
56
00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:15,435
Take that, Mary Hart.
57
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,666
You fire the Tucker,
you're gonna get Tuckinated!
58
00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:23,240
How courageous of you
to finally confront Mary Hart
59
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:24,754
Behind a laptop.
60
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,215
Using a fake name.
61
00:02:27,478 --> 00:02:28,748
I don't know, Tuck.
62
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,379
I think you're playing
with fire.
63
00:02:30,381 --> 00:02:31,381
I mean, really,
64
00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:33,322
Mary Hart might
set you on fire.
65
00:02:34,425 --> 00:02:35,555
Or sue you.
66
00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,126
Man, she can't sue me.
67
00:02:37,127 --> 00:02:38,387
I didn't even use her real name.
68
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,731
Hey, is that Angela?
69
00:02:41,732 --> 00:02:42,732
Hey, Ben.
70
00:02:44,235 --> 00:02:46,035
-(clattering)
-Angela! Hi.
71
00:02:46,036 --> 00:02:47,996
What are you...
what are you doing here?
72
00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:51,098
Did someone forget
to lock the gates of hell?
73
00:02:51,101 --> 00:02:52,301
Ben, please.
74
00:02:52,303 --> 00:02:54,253
I know I've made some mistakes,
75
00:02:54,245 --> 00:02:56,645
but can I please just see Emma?
76
00:02:56,647 --> 00:02:58,347
-Sure.
-Really?
77
00:02:58,349 --> 00:03:00,309
Yeah.
78
00:03:00,311 --> 00:03:01,551
Here she is.
79
00:03:01,552 --> 00:03:02,712
(sighs)
80
00:03:02,713 --> 00:03:04,323
Walking, talking.
81
00:03:04,315 --> 00:03:06,585
It's amazing how much
they grow when you're
busy abandoning them.
82
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,417
Well, can I at least
help with expenses?
83
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:11,190
I'm making really good
money now.
84
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,991
I have a hit TV show.
85
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,703
I've seen it.
Let's not get carried away.
86
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,497
We don't need your help.
87
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:19,299
I own a bar.
88
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,330
It looks pretty dead
in here to me.
89
00:03:21,332 --> 00:03:22,502
We're not open yet!
90
00:03:30,441 --> 00:03:31,911
Mary Hart's out to get me.
91
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,142
-Are you sure?
-Yeah. I'm sure, okay?
92
00:03:34,144 --> 00:03:35,654
Last night,
my bathrobe went missing
93
00:03:35,646 --> 00:03:38,486
and now the mail's been
torn in half.
94
00:03:38,489 --> 00:03:39,649
So?
95
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:40,820
The mailman hates you
96
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,391
and you never
wash your bathrobe,
97
00:03:42,393 --> 00:03:44,093
so it probably killed itself.
98
00:03:44,094 --> 00:03:46,504
Um, I'm clean when I put it on,
99
00:03:46,497 --> 00:03:47,997
so it don't need to be washed.
100
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,499
Dude, Mary's trying
to send me a message.
101
00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:53,702
-(knocking)
-Oh, my God!
She's gonna kill me!
102
00:03:55,666 --> 00:03:57,266
Dude, calm down.
103
00:03:57,268 --> 00:03:59,168
If Mary really were here
to kill you,
104
00:03:59,169 --> 00:04:00,569
she probably wouldn't knock.
105
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,045
Um...
106
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,146
What is it, man?
107
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,817
Hey, is it a head?
108
00:04:08,819 --> 00:04:09,879
Come on! It's a head, right?
109
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,350
I know it's a head!
It's always a head!
110
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,083
Nope, not a head.
111
00:04:14,084 --> 00:04:15,594
And I don't know
if she's out to kill you,
112
00:04:15,586 --> 00:04:18,356
but she definitely had it in
for your robe.
113
00:04:22,493 --> 00:04:24,543
We had such good times together.
114
00:04:26,797 --> 00:04:29,137
God, I don't know
why I'm so nervous.
115
00:04:29,139 --> 00:04:31,499
It's not like they're deciding
if they like me.
116
00:04:31,502 --> 00:04:34,312
Wait, are they deciding
if they like me?
117
00:04:34,305 --> 00:04:36,575
Relax, all right?
It's just preschool.
118
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:39,677
I mean, it doesn't define
Emma's future or anything.
119
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,450
-Did you go to preschool?
-Oh, my God. Yes.
120
00:04:41,452 --> 00:04:43,352
Best in the state.
I mean, why do you think
I'm a lawyer?
121
00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:46,155
I am so sorry.
122
00:04:46,156 --> 00:04:48,686
Just relax, okay?
123
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,989
-Well, hello there.
-Ben and Riley: Hi.
124
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,562
Hi, I'm Riley,
125
00:04:53,564 --> 00:04:55,504
this little angel's Godmother.
126
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,396
Just another member
of Team Emma.
127
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,368
We have T-shirts.
128
00:04:59,370 --> 00:05:01,530
(chuckles)
So where do we sign
and when do we start?
129
00:05:01,532 --> 00:05:04,412
Well, aren't you both darling?
130
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,175
But I'm so, so,
so sorry to tell you,
131
00:05:07,177 --> 00:05:10,407
Emma didn't pass
the entrance exam.
132
00:05:12,543 --> 00:05:14,453
Entrance exam?
133
00:05:14,445 --> 00:05:17,015
She can't even say
"entrance exam."
134
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,847
She's two.
135
00:05:18,849 --> 00:05:21,619
Regardless, she failed.
136
00:05:22,793 --> 00:05:25,063
Emma's exceptionally headstrong
137
00:05:25,055 --> 00:05:27,225
and not a real fan
of authority.
138
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:30,257
She also doesn't like to share,
and while I can't prove it,
139
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,930
I'm quite certain she threw
a ball at the back of my head
140
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,173
when I turned around.
141
00:05:35,165 --> 00:05:37,635
So, it was lovely to meet you,
142
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,338
but I'm late
for another meeting.
143
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,712
-Oh, God. No!
-No! Riley just let me...
144
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,045
Ben:
What am I gonna do?
145
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,446
We're out of preschools
and you know why?
146
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,049
She's exactly like me.
147
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,080
I'm not ready to raise a me.
148
00:05:52,082 --> 00:05:53,582
It was hard enough
to grow up a me.
149
00:05:53,584 --> 00:05:54,734
Okay, stop, all right?
150
00:05:54,725 --> 00:05:56,225
We will figure something out.
151
00:05:56,226 --> 00:05:57,826
You're not a total failure.
Look.
152
00:05:57,828 --> 00:06:00,328
You own a lovely business.
153
00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:01,430
Oh!
154
00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:04,293
Bonnie:
Hey, hey!
155
00:06:04,294 --> 00:06:07,504
Now that we know what she's got,
we can turn her down a bit.
156
00:06:07,498 --> 00:06:09,468
What the hell is going on?
157
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,700
Well...
158
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:12,941
I was gonna surprise you!
159
00:06:12,943 --> 00:06:15,953
It's part of our new
Country Western Night!
160
00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:18,076
You like chicken?
We got chicken.
161
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,478
You like beer?
We got beer!
162
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,650
You like corn bread?
We got corn bread!
163
00:06:22,653 --> 00:06:24,723
Man, now I want corn bread.
164
00:06:24,715 --> 00:06:26,585
Cut the bull, okay?
165
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,587
Someone's gonna get killed.
166
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:30,718
Ooh, killing someone.
167
00:06:30,721 --> 00:06:31,991
I like that part.
168
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,892
Murder Mystery Night!
169
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,934
I can hang a body
in the bathroom stall.
170
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,327
Not a real body.
171
00:06:39,329 --> 00:06:40,699
Unless...
172
00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:44,784
Hey, Hank.
173
00:06:44,775 --> 00:06:46,705
I'm sorry about that.
174
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,137
I thought the knob
went the other way.
175
00:06:49,139 --> 00:06:50,309
Anyway...
176
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,446
Perfect.
177
00:06:57,448 --> 00:06:58,788
No! Come on!
178
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,590
Hey, Tuck.
179
00:07:01,592 --> 00:07:04,532
Probably not the best place
to leave all this.
180
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,255
I'm trying to keep
out the devil!
181
00:07:06,256 --> 00:07:08,756
Don't worry, Mom's pretty busy
at the bar right now.
182
00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:10,459
No. Mary.
183
00:07:10,461 --> 00:07:11,761
She's out for blood.
184
00:07:11,762 --> 00:07:13,402
Type O Tuckative.
185
00:07:13,403 --> 00:07:14,813
(phone rings)
186
00:07:14,805 --> 00:07:16,735
Oh, my God.
187
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,207
-Is that the phone?
-(ringing continues)
188
00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:19,308
The phone never rings!
189
00:07:19,309 --> 00:07:20,809
Yeah, man, well, it does now.
190
00:07:20,811 --> 00:07:21,841
That's her!
191
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,172
And every time I answer it,
a voice says,
192
00:07:24,174 --> 00:07:25,554
"I'm watching you, Tucker."
193
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:26,576
And the scariest part is
194
00:07:26,577 --> 00:07:28,477
this thing wasn't even working!
195
00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:31,179
So-- so she went through
the trouble of signing us up,
196
00:07:31,181 --> 00:07:33,021
and choosing a carrier,
and getting it turned on.
197
00:07:33,023 --> 00:07:34,963
-I mean, who has got
that kind of time?!
-(ringing continues)
198
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,057
Hey, you know what you need?
199
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,758
Someone to protect you.
200
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,390
Someone who won't back down
201
00:07:41,391 --> 00:07:43,391
when trouble rears
its ugly head.
202
00:07:43,393 --> 00:07:44,903
This is my moment, Tucker.
203
00:07:44,895 --> 00:07:45,935
Let me help you.
204
00:07:45,936 --> 00:07:48,736
You know you're not
a real superhero.
205
00:07:48,739 --> 00:07:49,769
I know.
206
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,470
You're gonna go get
your cape, aren't you?
207
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,641
No, man. I'm just...
208
00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:54,043
-Just go get it, man.
-Yes!
209
00:07:56,306 --> 00:07:57,306
(elevator dings)
210
00:07:58,709 --> 00:07:59,879
Angela, hey! Um...
211
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,080
Ben's not home and he hates you,
212
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,812
so even if he was home...
213
00:08:03,814 --> 00:08:05,464
Well, you get it.
214
00:08:06,717 --> 00:08:09,717
Riley, I know I'm not the most
popular person around here,
215
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,660
but don't you think
every little girl should
know her mom?
216
00:08:12,663 --> 00:08:13,623
I don't know.
217
00:08:13,624 --> 00:08:16,434
I have two, and one's weird,
and one's awful,
218
00:08:16,426 --> 00:08:19,466
and I turned out
just fine... ish.
219
00:08:19,469 --> 00:08:20,569
Sort of.
220
00:08:20,571 --> 00:08:22,701
I'm not sad at all.
221
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,903
Besides, the only thing
222
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:26,214
Emma needs right now
is a decent preschool.
223
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,406
Oh, my God, I can
totally help with that.
224
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:30,338
I went to the best one
in the city.
225
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:33,110
They love me at Belcrest.
226
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:36,123
I'll put in a good word for Ben
if you convince him
227
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,586
to let me spend
one afternoon with Emma.
228
00:08:39,650 --> 00:08:40,950
-I don't know.
-Come on, Riley.
229
00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:42,521
He listens to you.
230
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,202
You're smart,
you're successful.
231
00:08:45,195 --> 00:08:47,755
Obviously, he'll always
be in love with you.
232
00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:49,928
Well, that's all true, but...
233
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,530
(sighs)
Oh, God.
234
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,001
I guess I will help you.
235
00:08:54,004 --> 00:08:55,714
-Oh!
-For Emma, okay?
236
00:08:55,706 --> 00:08:57,066
Oh. Oh, we're friends now.
237
00:08:58,468 --> 00:08:59,468
I'll talk to Ben.
238
00:09:02,773 --> 00:09:03,943
(door closes)
239
00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:07,717
Good news.
240
00:09:07,718 --> 00:09:10,018
Emma and I are all set
for tomorrow.
241
00:09:15,786 --> 00:09:17,426
Ben:
Ugh, for the last time, no!
242
00:09:17,427 --> 00:09:18,757
Angela's not gonna see Emma.
243
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,489
I don't wanna talk
about it anymore, okay?
244
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:21,490
Okay!
245
00:09:22,693 --> 00:09:25,143
But she is
Emma's biological mother,
246
00:09:25,135 --> 00:09:27,095
and if she wanted to--
Whoa. Sorry.
247
00:09:29,940 --> 00:09:32,340
It wouldn't make you
any less of a father
248
00:09:32,342 --> 00:09:33,772
if you just-- Sorry.
249
00:09:37,107 --> 00:09:40,707
I just wish I got to know
my real mom before-- Okay.
250
00:09:43,053 --> 00:09:45,623
You really think
it's good for Emma?
251
00:09:45,616 --> 00:09:46,686
I do.
252
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,787
I do. People make mistakes.
253
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:51,019
And-- and plus...
254
00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:53,821
she said she could get
Emma into Belcrest.
255
00:09:53,824 --> 00:09:55,034
Really?
256
00:09:55,025 --> 00:09:56,425
Belcrest?
257
00:09:56,426 --> 00:09:59,596
I hear they leave a chocolate
on each pillow for nap time.
258
00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:03,672
And if it makes
you feel any better,
259
00:10:03,674 --> 00:10:06,684
okay, I will make sure
absolutely nothing goes wrong.
260
00:10:06,677 --> 00:10:11,307
I will be the consummate
professional Emma-Momma-Watcher.
261
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,681
Okay.
262
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,124
Wait. Where'd you leave Emma?
263
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,616
I'll be right back.
264
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,389
Emma?
265
00:10:25,255 --> 00:10:26,855
-Hey, Mom.
-Hey, Ben.
266
00:10:26,857 --> 00:10:28,697
Ben! Benji, hey.
267
00:10:28,699 --> 00:10:30,429
Hey, sweetie.
268
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,760
What are you doing here
in the middle of the day?
269
00:10:32,763 --> 00:10:34,503
Shouldn't you be at work?
270
00:10:34,504 --> 00:10:36,474
I am.
271
00:10:36,466 --> 00:10:38,766
Plus, Riley convinced me
to let Angela see Emma
272
00:10:38,769 --> 00:10:40,639
for an hour and I want to be
gone when it happens.
273
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,840
Angela?
274
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:45,282
You left your child with
the woman who left your child?
275
00:10:45,275 --> 00:10:47,715
Wait. Why are there
so many women in here?
276
00:10:47,718 --> 00:10:48,778
(scoffs)
277
00:10:48,779 --> 00:10:51,549
I packed this place
to the gills with women
278
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,281
and you're questioning me?!
279
00:10:53,283 --> 00:10:54,423
All right, that is it.
280
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:55,734
You are out of here!
281
00:10:55,726 --> 00:10:58,656
Okay, when did we hire
new bartenders?
282
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,488
(ringing)
283
00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:03,060
Ladies, Happy Hour
has just begun.
284
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,173
Let's get ripped!
285
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,835
-(dance music playing)
-(women cheer)
286
00:11:18,949 --> 00:11:20,509
-Hi.
-Mom!
287
00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:21,550
-What?
-No!
288
00:11:21,551 --> 00:11:23,181
Oh, Ben, come on! Please?
289
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,583
Can I keep him?
290
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:27,294
Look, I promise
they won't eat a lot.
291
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,787
I'll walk them twice a day,
292
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,789
and they can sleep
in my bed!
293
00:11:32,662 --> 00:11:33,892
Then the princess says,
294
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,904
"Freeze or I'll drop you
like a knockoff handbag!"
295
00:11:38,328 --> 00:11:39,798
That's something I pitched.
296
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,370
I basically write
all my own lines.
297
00:11:42,532 --> 00:11:43,832
Wow.
298
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:46,014
What a charming,
uplifting story
299
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,636
for a child of two.
300
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,280
You're just gonna stand there
301
00:11:51,281 --> 00:11:52,781
and watch me play
with Emma the whole time?
302
00:11:52,783 --> 00:11:54,753
Well, I did promise Ben, so...
303
00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:57,185
And I promise you
nothing will go wrong.
304
00:11:57,187 --> 00:11:58,947
(groans)
Okay, fine.
305
00:11:58,949 --> 00:12:01,549
I will be across the hall
in my apartment
306
00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:03,691
where I can be reached
if you need anything.
307
00:12:03,693 --> 00:12:05,133
Okay? Anything at all.
308
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,896
(door opens, closes)
309
00:12:08,899 --> 00:12:10,559
Finally.
310
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,000
Wanna make some new friends?
311
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,773
Yeah, you do.
312
00:12:14,765 --> 00:12:16,535
Okay, you ladies ready
for this?
313
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:19,536
We sure are.
Right, baby girl?
314
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,439
So, this is Jess Cagle
of People Magazine here
315
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,422
with Angela Davidson,
the star of TV's Cop Girl.
316
00:12:25,415 --> 00:12:27,415
Uh, TV's newest hit, Cop Girl.
317
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:28,947
Yeah, I've seen the show.
318
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:29,949
Let's not go crazy.
319
00:12:31,481 --> 00:12:34,861
So Angela, what People readers
really want to know is
320
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,985
what is it like juggling
a successful acting career
321
00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:40,558
and raising this little girl
all on your own?
322
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,160
Oh, well, starring
in a show is great,
323
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:45,702
but being a mom is
the greatest role I've ever had.
324
00:12:48,939 --> 00:12:50,669
(chuckles)
325
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,540
Angela:
I can't believe I'm gonna be
in People Magazine.
326
00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:55,852
Thank you again for sharing
your incredible story.
327
00:12:55,846 --> 00:12:58,406
You are an inspiration
to women everywhere
328
00:12:58,408 --> 00:12:59,948
who are raising a baby
on their own
329
00:12:59,950 --> 00:13:01,580
-and starring in a TV show.
-(elevator dings)
330
00:13:02,853 --> 00:13:04,053
Jess:
It's a small demographic,
I know.
331
00:13:04,054 --> 00:13:06,324
But who says
you can't have it all?
332
00:13:06,316 --> 00:13:09,086
Oh, and I hope you get even
with that deadbeat dad.
333
00:13:11,761 --> 00:13:12,961
"Deadbeat dad"?
334
00:13:13,964 --> 00:13:16,034
Emma, cover your ears, sweetie,
335
00:13:16,026 --> 00:13:17,926
'cause Aunt Riley is
about to kick your mom's ass.
336
00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:28,006
I cannot believe
that you lied to me!
337
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,278
All you wanted Emma for
338
00:13:29,279 --> 00:13:30,839
was some stupid interview?!
339
00:13:30,841 --> 00:13:32,641
I honestly didn't know
what to do.
340
00:13:32,642 --> 00:13:34,412
I told my agent about Emma
341
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,894
and she told
the show's publicist,
342
00:13:35,886 --> 00:13:38,016
and before I could stop it,
343
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,218
-here we are.
-Oh, where?
344
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,989
On the corner of You're a Bitch
and You're a Liar?
345
00:13:41,992 --> 00:13:44,792
Oh, my God.
"Deadbeat dad"? "Single mother"?
346
00:13:44,794 --> 00:13:46,904
I'll try to straighten it out,
I swear.
347
00:13:46,897 --> 00:13:48,897
Okay, the only swearing
348
00:13:48,899 --> 00:13:51,399
will be from Ben when he hears
what you have done.
349
00:13:51,401 --> 00:13:53,231
Do you really think
you should tell him?
350
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,313
I-- I mean, I know how important
this whole preschool thing is.
351
00:13:56,306 --> 00:13:59,036
Plus, this was
kind of your idea.
352
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,939
Oh, whoa.
353
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,411
-Okay.
-(door opens)
354
00:14:02,412 --> 00:14:05,122
So, you're saying that
Ben is gonna blame me for this?
355
00:14:05,115 --> 00:14:07,075
-Blame you for what?
-Nothing.
356
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:11,218
We-- we were just
talking about Emma.
357
00:14:11,221 --> 00:14:12,321
Everything go okay?
358
00:14:12,322 --> 00:14:13,822
It went great.
359
00:14:13,823 --> 00:14:16,833
I'll call the school
and put in a good word.
360
00:14:16,826 --> 00:14:20,156
Hey, thank you for convincing me
to let Angela see Emma.
361
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,660
At least now,
I don't have to worry about
her getting into a good school.
362
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,192
-Angela owes me that.
-(laughs nervously)
363
00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:26,844
Oh... you're welcome.
364
00:14:26,836 --> 00:14:29,566
Just, you know,
looking out for the family.
365
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:33,169
Hey, unrelated, you don't read
People Magazine , right?
366
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,377
Okay, little buddy.
367
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,848
I think we're safe.
368
00:14:39,849 --> 00:14:42,279
Coast is clear. No Mary.
I repeat. No Mary.
369
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,412
Okay.
370
00:14:46,957 --> 00:14:48,787
(gasping)
371
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,488
Man, you need
to wash that thing.
372
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,120
And it would have
been nice if you took
your skates out first.
373
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:57,266
(Tucker screams)
374
00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:59,497
What is it?
Is it a spider?
375
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,969
'Cause I don't do spiders.
376
00:15:00,971 --> 00:15:02,031
No!
377
00:15:02,032 --> 00:15:03,102
Look, man. It's me!
378
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,113
This is where
she's gonna kill me!
379
00:15:08,578 --> 00:15:10,538
See? It fits me perfectly!
380
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,182
It's over.
381
00:15:13,183 --> 00:15:15,053
She wins. I am done
writing about her.
382
00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:16,345
-Never again.
-What?
383
00:15:16,346 --> 00:15:17,386
No!
384
00:15:17,387 --> 00:15:20,017
You can't let her
kill your dreams!
385
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,390
Wait. What are your dreams?
386
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,363
To be the world's greatest
entertainment reporter.
387
00:15:25,355 --> 00:15:26,555
Yeah, that!
388
00:15:26,556 --> 00:15:28,196
You can't let her kill that.
389
00:15:28,198 --> 00:15:29,898
Don't you understand, Tucker?
390
00:15:29,899 --> 00:15:32,329
Dreams are all we have.
391
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:35,372
Dreams are what we're made of.
392
00:15:35,365 --> 00:15:38,205
They course through
every vein in our body.
393
00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:41,638
The minute you give up,
evil wins.
394
00:15:44,174 --> 00:15:45,284
You know what?
395
00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:46,975
Dude, you're right.
396
00:15:46,977 --> 00:15:49,047
I'm done letting
her walk all over me.
397
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,219
This time, I'm fighting back.
398
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:52,950
This time,
I'm using her real name.
399
00:15:55,986 --> 00:15:57,226
(elevator dings)
400
00:15:57,227 --> 00:15:59,187
Oh, my God.
Mrs. Wheeler, I need you.
401
00:15:59,189 --> 00:16:01,289
And I need wine.
Is Ben home?
402
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:03,231
That's what I need
your help with.
403
00:16:03,233 --> 00:16:05,143
Good luck. He is zero fun.
404
00:16:05,135 --> 00:16:06,395
So not my kid.
405
00:16:06,396 --> 00:16:08,136
God, he's going to be so mad.
406
00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:09,568
Well, he won't be mad if I can
407
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,169
just show him that
I know what I'm doing.
408
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,372
If I could just show him
how awful she is
409
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,754
without getting blamed.
410
00:16:15,745 --> 00:16:18,045
I mean, who knew that
she was such a good actress?
411
00:16:18,048 --> 00:16:19,978
An actress! Yes!
412
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,979
A celebrity would get us
some publicity!
413
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,111
Oh, my God, yes!
Someone to publicly expose her!
414
00:16:24,114 --> 00:16:25,724
That is a great idea!
415
00:16:25,715 --> 00:16:28,185
Ugh, I wish Tucker still
worked for Mary Hart.
416
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,558
Mary Hart!
417
00:16:29,559 --> 00:16:31,789
Mm! If she came to the bar,
418
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,261
that would make
everything perfect!
419
00:16:33,263 --> 00:16:34,893
-You think?
-Of course!
420
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,904
-But she hates me.
-Well, I could get her there.
421
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,966
Oh, my God,
this is gonna be so great.
422
00:16:38,968 --> 00:16:40,268
She is so going down!
423
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:43,200
I'm not sure what you have
against Mary, but okay!
424
00:16:46,036 --> 00:16:47,636
We'll be ready to roll
in two minutes, Mary.
425
00:16:49,239 --> 00:16:50,679
Great work getting Mary here.
426
00:16:51,881 --> 00:16:54,281
Wait, wait. Is that Angela?
427
00:16:54,284 --> 00:16:57,094
Oh, I'd like to give her
a piece of my mind
428
00:16:57,087 --> 00:16:59,747
and her ass
a piece of my foot.
429
00:16:59,749 --> 00:17:02,289
-I'm gonna go over there.
I'm just gonna give her...
-Oh, my God.
430
00:17:02,292 --> 00:17:05,402
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
If you could please wait
until after the interview?
431
00:17:05,395 --> 00:17:07,395
Right. Good thinking.
432
00:17:07,397 --> 00:17:10,157
-Two celebs having
lunch together.
-(shutter clicks)
433
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,000
I guess I can hate her later.
434
00:17:13,163 --> 00:17:14,533
Mary:
So, Angela...
435
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,514
what is it like juggling
a career with motherhood?
436
00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:19,437
I tried it once
for about a month,
437
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,139
but so not me.
438
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,941
Luckily, my cousin
always wanted a baby, so she--
439
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,983
Oh, I-- I thought
we were just gonna talk
about my show, Cop Girl.
440
00:17:26,976 --> 00:17:28,416
We will.
441
00:17:28,418 --> 00:17:31,018
But I really want to hear
about your life with Emma,
442
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:33,150
who you are raising
all by yourself.
443
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,983
Yes, exactly.
444
00:17:34,984 --> 00:17:37,194
-Uh, but on the show, I--
-Well, funny thing.
445
00:17:37,187 --> 00:17:39,357
According to these papers,
446
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,129
you relinquished all rights
to your daughter
447
00:17:42,132 --> 00:17:43,732
when she was
only three months old.
448
00:17:43,733 --> 00:17:45,673
Oh. Well, I can explain. Um...
449
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:48,335
I doubt it,
but I'm dying to hear you try.
450
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,540
What's all that about?
451
00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:52,801
Ben! Hi! Hi!
452
00:17:52,802 --> 00:17:54,372
Uh, what---
what are you doing here?
453
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,184
Again, I own the bar.
454
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,306
What's going on?
455
00:17:57,307 --> 00:17:58,807
Oh, my God. Oh, God.
456
00:17:58,808 --> 00:18:01,378
Please don't be mad at me,
but, um, Angela tricked me
457
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,211
and did an interview
with a magazine
458
00:18:03,213 --> 00:18:04,983
and lied about being
a single mom,
459
00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,524
and it's totally all my fault.
460
00:18:06,516 --> 00:18:07,916
But-- but I fixed it
461
00:18:07,917 --> 00:18:10,017
because I convinced Mary
to come down here and expose her
462
00:18:10,019 --> 00:18:11,459
so the whole world
will know the truth.
463
00:18:11,461 --> 00:18:12,921
But-- but she can't trace it
back to me,
464
00:18:12,922 --> 00:18:14,262
so Emma can still
get into that preschool
465
00:18:14,264 --> 00:18:15,934
and everybody wins!
466
00:18:15,925 --> 00:18:17,565
Well, everybody
except for Angela.
467
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,628
Oh, my God, Riley!
What have you done?
468
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,330
Really?
469
00:18:22,332 --> 00:18:25,412
Do you want me to say
the whole thing over again?
470
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,705
Please, Mary.
You can't air any of this.
471
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,377
This will ruin my career.
472
00:18:29,379 --> 00:18:31,139
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Everybody calm down.
473
00:18:31,141 --> 00:18:33,681
Mary, I think you've been
given some terrible information.
474
00:18:33,683 --> 00:18:35,253
Why do you look familiar?
475
00:18:35,245 --> 00:18:36,485
Are you somebody?
476
00:18:36,486 --> 00:18:38,186
It's so hard
to tell these days.
477
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,919
I am. I'm Emma's father.
478
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,820
But all you need to know
is that Angela is her wonderful,
479
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,933
supportive mother
who's been there
since the very beginning.
480
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:49,355
Well, that's a non-story.
481
00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:51,759
When I find out
who crank called
482
00:18:51,761 --> 00:18:54,761
my Gotcha Tip-line,
there will be hell to pay.
483
00:18:54,764 --> 00:18:58,214
Mary, I just want you to know
484
00:18:58,208 --> 00:19:01,268
that your days of trying
to rule this city are over.
485
00:19:01,271 --> 00:19:03,411
How did you know
I was running for mayor?
486
00:19:03,413 --> 00:19:05,383
Is that Tucker?
487
00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:06,545
Mary.
488
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:09,476
I read your little blog post
this morning.
489
00:19:09,479 --> 00:19:11,379
Oh? Well, there's nothing
you can do about it now.
490
00:19:11,381 --> 00:19:12,551
Oh, really?
491
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,622
-Watch me!
-Whoa!
492
00:19:14,624 --> 00:19:15,734
-(gasps)
-Oh!
493
00:19:15,725 --> 00:19:16,955
-(gasps)
-(shutter clicks)
494
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,256
(grunts)
495
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,190
Angela:
Thank you for doing that.
496
00:19:22,192 --> 00:19:23,932
I know I don't deserve it.
497
00:19:23,933 --> 00:19:25,343
I just got so caught up
in the moment,
498
00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:27,695
but I would never to anything
to hurt Emma.
499
00:19:27,697 --> 00:19:30,337
I promise I'll make sure
she gets into that school.
500
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:33,240
Thanks, but I'd rather
homeschool Emma in a bar
501
00:19:33,243 --> 00:19:35,003
than send her anywhere
that produced you.
502
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,076
We'll be fine on our own.
We always have been.
503
00:19:43,413 --> 00:19:45,293
Why are you letting
her get away with this?
504
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,515
You need to expose her, Ben.
505
00:19:46,516 --> 00:19:49,016
Look, Angela may have been
the biggest mistake of my life,
506
00:19:49,018 --> 00:19:50,088
but she also gave me
507
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:53,359
the greatest gift
of my life: Emma.
508
00:19:53,363 --> 00:19:55,333
And if she's gonna find out
just how much her mother sucks,
509
00:19:55,325 --> 00:19:57,595
then I'd rather her
do it on her own terms.
510
00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:00,367
When she grows up and she can
ask her own questions
511
00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:02,370
and make her own judgments.
512
00:20:02,372 --> 00:20:04,372
She shouldn't
have to read about it.
513
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,835
You're an amazing dad.
514
00:20:07,837 --> 00:20:11,077
And honestly, if she turns out
anything like you,
515
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,610
she'll be the best girl
in the world.
516
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,393
She's lucky to be a Wheeler.
517
00:20:17,287 --> 00:20:18,647
Okay, people!
518
00:20:18,648 --> 00:20:20,518
Let's clear these tables!
519
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,920
The pudding pool is here!
520
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,452
Mom!
521
00:20:24,454 --> 00:20:25,604
All right, fellas!
522
00:20:25,595 --> 00:20:27,125
Let's load her in!
523
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:30,596
Gary, if that's butterscotch,
I'm gonna kick your ass!
524
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,000
Mom!
525
00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:33,001
Mom!
526
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,835
(laughter)
527
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:41,067
These pictures are gonna
bring in so much business
to the bar.
528
00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:44,510
You know, maybe you should
write about Mary for a change
529
00:20:44,514 --> 00:20:46,554
in that dumb blog of yours
and stop spending all your time
530
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:47,616
writing about me.
531
00:20:47,617 --> 00:20:48,877
What are you talking about?
532
00:20:48,878 --> 00:20:53,078
Big Blonde Babbler, wine-aholic,
cheats on her taxes.
533
00:20:53,082 --> 00:20:55,082
Why would you say
that stuff about me?
534
00:20:55,084 --> 00:20:57,464
Uh, Mom, Tucker's blog
is about Mary Hart.
535
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,187
It's Aunt Shirley's blog
that's about you.
536
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:01,890
I knew that.
537
00:21:03,032 --> 00:21:04,562
Hold up.
538
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,204
Hold up, so you did
all those things to me?
539
00:21:07,196 --> 00:21:08,896
No...
540
00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:10,338
No.
541
00:21:10,340 --> 00:21:14,400
But I would not wear those pants
for too much longer.
542
00:21:14,404 --> 00:21:17,584
No! What did you--
What did you do?!
543
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:18,447
-Danny, door!
-What did you do?!
544
00:21:18,448 --> 00:21:20,808
Danny, door! Door, Danny!
Danny, Danny, door!
545
00:21:20,810 --> 00:21:21,810
Danny, door!
546
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:24,512
-Are you serious?!
-She's my mom!
36533
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
