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1
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:05,137
Today is our 10th Friendiversary.
2
00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:09,541
10 years ago, four kids entered
a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit
3
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:13,077
as strangers, but they emerged...
4
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:16,548
They emerged best friends.
5
00:00:18,953 --> 00:00:21,286
I promised myself I wouldn't do this!
6
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:25,157
Let's skip the speech and
go straight to dessert.
7
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:30,428
? In a Chuck E. Cheese ?
8
00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:33,431
? These four boys will meet ?
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00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:37,302
? It's our Friendiversary ?
10
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,237
? Friendiversary ?
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00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:43,776
? We're Snot, we're Barry,
we're Steve, and Toshi ?
12
00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:46,044
? It's our Friendiversary ?
13
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,847
? Friendiversary ?
14
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:55,587
? It's our Friendiversary-y-y-y-y ?
15
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:58,456
Squash, squash, squash! Squash, squash!
16
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,659
Roger needs a squash partner!
17
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:01,926
- Roger!
- Steve!
18
00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:03,796
Big squash tourney tomorrow.
19
00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:06,064
I need you to be my squash partner.
20
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,131
Squash.
21
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:08,733
I don't even know what squash is.
22
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,003
What?! Everyone knows squash.
23
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:12,204
- Roger.
- Squash.
24
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,938
It's our Friendiversary.
25
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,941
My week is jam-packed
with friendship activities.
26
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:18,811
Jam-packed!
27
00:01:19,939 --> 00:01:22,681
- But, Steve...
- I'm not gonna ditch my friends.
28
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,949
Sorry, you'll need to find
another squash partner.
29
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,685
Everybody at the club is paired up,
30
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,354
and the club doesn't allow blacks,
Jews, or women.
31
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:32,357
That rules out my tennis partner,
Rashika Greenblatt.
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00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:35,560
The racism is thick,
but so is the club's lobster bisque,
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which is why I'll never walk away.
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? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
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00:01:43,739 --> 00:01:47,172
? I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ?
36
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:50,375
? The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ?
37
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:54,913
? And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ?
38
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,852
? Oh, boy, it's swell to say ?
39
00:01:59,854 --> 00:02:02,387
- ? Good... ?
- ? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
40
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:03,555
Aah!
41
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,060
? Good morning, U.S.A. ?
42
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,997
If you have the legendary shards,
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00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,400
I recommend you visit Xur on Titan
44
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,936
and purchase the Wardcliff
Coil Rocket Launcher.
45
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:23,141
Then get the legendary shards,
you [BLEEP] licking suckboy!
46
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,476
Third graders.
47
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,744
I can't believe it.
48
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,345
I asked Steve to play squash
49
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,681
and he wouldn't cancel
plans with his friends.
50
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,149
Those guys are tight, bro.
51
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,218
They remind me of my boys in Tampa.
52
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:34,753
You don't have friends in Tampa.
53
00:02:35,283 --> 00:02:36,621
Okay, pal.
54
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:37,956
Then why do I have a tattoo
55
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:41,025
of an alligator in a
bikini driving down I-4?
56
00:02:41,658 --> 00:02:43,495
Oh, you made me lose!
57
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:47,432
Make him lose... his friends.
58
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,834
Excellent idea, Klaus!
59
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,573
Slow down, lady. Your son is a liar.
60
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:57,509
What?! He was the one swearing at me,
61
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,644
and he made a Chinese joke!
62
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:03,448
Oh, w... well, I'm Chinese, too!
63
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,788
Man, look at the splash back.
64
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,790
Got that Super Soaker thrust.
65
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,058
You're just painting those
Entertainment Weekly's
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00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,475
in the magazine rack.
67
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,996
Your flattery won't
get me to play squash.
68
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,041
Squ-what?
69
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,266
I haven't thought about that in ages.
70
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,535
You seemed really into it,
like, 10 minutes ago.
71
00:03:24,786 --> 00:03:26,605
Speaking of minutes ago,
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00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,807
how many has it been since Barry ate?
73
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,075
What a fat guy, don't you think?
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00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,477
He does struggle with weight,
75
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:35,680
but I love my Care Bare, big or small.
76
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,081
Speaking of small,
77
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,818
what about Snot's bank account,
am I right?
78
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:43,355
Oh, Snotter, so poor in money,
so rich in character.
79
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,556
You're impossible.
80
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,890
I'm not gonna keep recording over
81
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,293
all my great business
ideas for this crap.
82
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:51,964
A novelty device that
transforms Julia Child's voice
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00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:54,366
into a deep, scary monster voice.
84
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,968
Oh, wait. Oh, wait, did I miss my stop?
85
00:03:55,970 --> 00:03:58,303
I'm looking for the ferry to Alcatraz.
86
00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:00,172
Or is it swimmable? I'm on a budget.
87
00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:02,307
This is my first time in San Francisco.
88
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:04,108
That's not true. Why did I say that?
89
00:04:04,650 --> 00:04:07,015
I almost lost this because of you!
90
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,718
This is pretty interesting.
91
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,986
Four 12-year-old kids
designed a computer
92
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:17,055
that destroyed all of Cincinnati.
93
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,524
- Wow.
- Oh, misread it.
94
00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:21,059
It was 412 1-year-olds.
95
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,660
That's a lot less interesting.
96
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:24,329
You guys aren't gonna believe this.
97
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:25,463
Jeff has a talent!
98
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:26,998
- Bullshit.
- It's true.
99
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,800
We were just watching
the house-renovation show
100
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,269
"Flip or Flop,"
and Jeff knew when to flip
101
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,071
and he knew when to flop.
102
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,473
- I did.
- How is this possible?
103
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:38,143
Mom, when you look around the house,
what do you see?
104
00:04:38,606 --> 00:04:39,677
Walls.
105
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:40,812
Just a lot of walls.
106
00:04:41,504 --> 00:04:43,148
Walls. What a noob.
107
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,417
What do we see, Jeff, you and I?
108
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,285
When I look at a house,
109
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,755
I can see beyond the walls...
110
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,023
- Uh-huh.
- ...above the ceiling...
111
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,159
- That's right.
- ...and below the floor.
112
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:57,829
- Bingo.
- I can see its bones.
113
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,297
Happy now, Francine?
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00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,300
If we combine his instincts
with your money,
115
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,769
the sky's the limit.
116
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,637
The sky, you say?
117
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:10,108
He's surveying the bones of our house.
118
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,444
He is? Well, don't hold out on us, Jeff.
119
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,845
What do you see?
120
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:21,920
Your house has great bones.
121
00:05:22,765 --> 00:05:24,856
Wow, he's good.
122
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,458
Do me, do me! How are my bones?
123
00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:31,329
You're not a house, Mr. S.
124
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,999
A goddamn master.
125
00:05:34,753 --> 00:05:36,290
_
126
00:05:37,091 --> 00:05:38,604
Kick those legs, Barry!
127
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:41,073
I can't do it! Swan!
128
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:44,409
I'll never learn to swim.
129
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,111
Barry.
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00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,679
Barry.
131
00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:50,949
Stop making me laugh.
132
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,484
There's that smile!
133
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:55,287
Aww, I love you guys.
134
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:58,556
Steve, I set up a cabana
and filled it with strippers.
135
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,091
Roger, go away.
136
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,251
It's Friendiversary swim day.
137
00:06:02,286 --> 00:06:05,497
Why don't you come over here
and swim into some strange?
138
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:08,500
This is Steve, the underage boy
I was telling you about.
139
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,368
You really don't get it, huh?
140
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,770
These are my friends,
141
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,639
and I'll never turn my back on them.
142
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,707
You can tell yourself that,
but you'll slip up,
143
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,843
just like I told myself
I was never gonna see
144
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:19,845
another Woody Allen movie,
but there I was,
145
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,847
first in line for "Blue Jasmine."
146
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:24,316
So boring, so good.
147
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,919
This neighborhood looks kind of seedy.
148
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,522
Is that a Satanic church next door?
149
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,458
They practice Santer�a.
150
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:36,394
I don't know the difference,
but I'm told there is one.
151
00:06:37,098 --> 00:06:38,664
Has anyone died in here?
152
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,532
It feels like someone died in here.
153
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,200
No! God no.
154
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,136
The last owner was stabbed in the house,
155
00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:47,673
but he managed to crawl
to the lawn before he died.
156
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:49,607
Jeff, tell us about the house.
157
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:54,346
Quite possibly the greatest
bones I've ever seen.
158
00:06:54,348 --> 00:06:56,682
Let's see them bones!
159
00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:59,017
What the hell are you doing?!
160
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,752
You know what? Screw it.
161
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,355
I'm quitting this industry.
162
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:07,693
I have quit a lot of industries, though.
163
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,361
I'm reconsidering.
164
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:13,031
Guess what. I'm back, babies!
165
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,501
Aah!
166
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:18,303
You know what? I'm quitting this body.
167
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:21,840
I have quit a lot of bodies, though.
168
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,042
I'm reconsidering.
169
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,116
10 years ago, we met within the hallowed
170
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:34,452
and ultimately unprofitable
walls of this Chuck E. Cheese.
171
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,523
The ball pit gave life
to our friendship.
172
00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:39,991
But it also gave life to a super fungus
173
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,993
that blinded an entire
Little League team
174
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,929
and closed the doors forever.
175
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,532
And now we immortalize our friendship
176
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,233
with some light vandalism.
177
00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:52,974
_
178
00:07:52,975 --> 00:07:54,375
_
179
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,942
Ugh, Toshi, that sucks.
180
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,410
That's right, Banksy.
181
00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:01,012
"American Dad's" calling you a hack!
182
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,148
Reveal your identity and fight us.
183
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,317
"American Dad"... We are...
184
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,294
_
185
00:08:08,472 --> 00:08:11,423
Who disturbs my slumber?
186
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,493
Aah!
187
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,230
You vandalized my beautiful home!
188
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:19,497
It wasn't my idea!
189
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,077
Uh, Snot, Barry,
and Toshi made me do it!
190
00:08:22,112 --> 00:08:24,796
Whoa, you turned
on your friends so fast.
191
00:08:24,831 --> 00:08:27,773
- I didn't even get to...
- ...clamp your balls in a mouse trap.
192
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,441
Clamp their balls, not mine!
193
00:08:29,443 --> 00:08:32,444
T-They can't be far.
I'll... I'll help you find them.
194
00:08:32,446 --> 00:08:35,113
Toshi lives closest.
I say we go there first.
195
00:08:36,014 --> 00:08:37,583
And we can trap Barry with food.
196
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:40,385
He'll eat himself to death
like a goldfish.
197
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,520
There's a lot of fight in Snot,
198
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,189
but we can nab him when he's weakest...
199
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,392
Right after he sells his plasma.
200
00:08:47,339 --> 00:08:49,394
Nah, I've got rat stuff to do.
201
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:52,063
Good luck digging yourself
out of this hole, Steve.
202
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,599
How do you know my name?
203
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:54,733
Uh...
204
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,802
Chuck E. Cheese knows
205
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,437
all the children's names.
206
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:06,612
So... should we report
the guy in the rat costume
207
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,097
assaulting kids?
208
00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:11,950
I'm more concerned about
the rat in the guy costume
209
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,019
assaulting friendships.
210
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:15,954
- Snotter...
- Don't Snotter me.
211
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,489
You betrayed us!
212
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:21,559
I haven't felt this betrayed
since "Scrubs" moved to ABC!
213
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,430
How old were you when that happened?
214
00:09:24,432 --> 00:09:28,634
Well, how old am I now and when
was that, and now subtract.
215
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,235
Think, Snot. Think!
216
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,687
This bad blood... this is on you!
217
00:09:35,259 --> 00:09:37,470
Snot, please take me back as a friend.
218
00:09:37,505 --> 00:09:39,144
I can't get Bluetooth to sync,
219
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:42,280
but pretend it's playing
your favorite Matisyahu song.
220
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,749
So I should just pretend
221
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:47,553
his entire catalogue is
playing at the same time?
222
00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:48,686
Fat chance!
223
00:09:49,199 --> 00:09:52,558
You backstabbed us
during Friendiversary!
224
00:09:55,563 --> 00:09:56,828
0-for-3.
225
00:09:56,830 --> 00:10:00,232
I'd say you're 3-for-3
at losing your friends.
226
00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:01,367
Perfect record, bud.
227
00:10:01,369 --> 00:10:03,569
Thanks for putting
a positive spin on it.
228
00:10:03,571 --> 00:10:05,771
Looks like you're the
only friend I have left.
229
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,840
We all make mistakes,
but life is like a game of squash.
230
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,175
You got to keep on whackin'.
231
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:12,444
I forgot all about your tournament.
232
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,780
- Rotten Steve!
- You stop that right now.
233
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,982
I doubt there's even time
to enter the tournament.
234
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,651
Well, we could make the cutoff.
235
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,453
But we wouldn't be able
to take my friend Nancy's
236
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,388
hot aerobics class before.
237
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,590
Would you be willing to play
238
00:10:24,592 --> 00:10:26,592
without taking Nancy's
hot aerobics, Steve?
239
00:10:26,594 --> 00:10:28,460
Honestly, we won't be as loose.
240
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,196
Okay. I'll be your squash partner.
241
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,398
You're giving me a second
chance at friendship,
242
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,601
and this time, I'm gonna do it right.
243
00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:37,735
- Oh!
- You're doing it wrong!
244
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,737
Damn it, Steve, clear a path!
245
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:40,939
You got it, friend.
246
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,540
Get a clue, Steve.
247
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,009
[BLEEP]
248
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,944
Well played, Chip. Your serve.
249
00:10:46,408 --> 00:10:48,747
Hey, Rog,
the kid's all covered in welts.
250
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,548
- Your serve, Chip.
- How about we call it?
251
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:51,750
How about you serve, Chip?
252
00:10:53,287 --> 00:10:55,988
Okay, Steve,
clear that path and we got this.
253
00:10:59,801 --> 00:11:05,580
Clear a path!
254
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,566
Path!
255
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:11,203
Clear it!
256
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:13,805
Aah!
257
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,374
[BLEEP]
258
00:11:17,856 --> 00:11:19,978
Hell of a game.
Nice backhand today, Bob.
259
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,379
My partner just didn't have it.
260
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,848
Is he gonna be okay?
261
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,182
Are you gonna be okay?
262
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,051
Hey, you just worry
about the next round.
263
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:28,320
Go win this thing.
264
00:11:28,978 --> 00:11:30,856
What are we doing next?
265
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,057
I don't understand.
266
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,459
You're acting like we're friends,
267
00:11:33,461 --> 00:11:36,128
but you're bad at squash.
What am I missing here?
268
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,330
You're missing high-quality backpacks
269
00:11:38,332 --> 00:11:40,265
made out of recycled materials!
270
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,933
- I am?
- "I am?"
271
00:11:42,616 --> 00:11:44,736
Just kidding.
Step inside. I'll hook you up.
272
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,538
- Steve, I'm gonna do this.
- I'll come with.
273
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,223
"I'll come with."
274
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,209
- You're worse than this guy.
- You stay.
275
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,245
You are really funny.
276
00:11:59,487 --> 00:12:01,753
They don't make bones like this anymore.
277
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,689
Damn right. So, what's the next step?
278
00:12:03,691 --> 00:12:06,558
- Renovations?
- And cover up these bones?
279
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,961
Mr. S, are you the stupidest
person I've ever met?
280
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,829
- Jeff!
- No, he's right.
281
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:13,765
I spoke out of turn. Go on, Jeff.
282
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,767
It's time to flip this house,
283
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:19,905
and I recommend we only
consider all-cash offers.
284
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,508
A goddamn master.
285
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,779
I wish you weren't married, Chip.
286
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:30,849
I bet your wife doesn't do this, Chip.
287
00:12:32,386 --> 00:12:34,386
Wakey, wakey.
288
00:12:34,388 --> 00:12:36,054
I made you breakfast in bed.
289
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,789
It's cold because
it's almost dinnertime.
290
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:40,592
- Okay, we need to talk.
- Best friend talk.
291
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,660
- Shut up and listen to me.
- Best friend listen.
292
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,996
Our so-called "friendship" was based on
293
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:48,200
a mutual love of squash,
which you didn't share.
294
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:49,735
This is over.
295
00:12:49,737 --> 00:12:51,537
But... But you're my only friend!
296
00:12:51,539 --> 00:12:53,471
No. Now clear a path.
297
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,895
Sure thing, buddy.
298
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,809
See? We can make this work.
299
00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,412
You've got a clingy friend
on your hands, bro.
300
00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:03,749
I'm gonna head over to the pier
and work on my robot man routine.
301
00:13:03,751 --> 00:13:05,884
Everything will be normal
by the time I get back.
302
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:09,221
Ahh, there's so many
sick piers in Tampa.
303
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,889
My boy Vance basically lives there.
304
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:13,825
He makes bank selling
butterfly knives to tourists.
305
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,961
Nobody believes you
have friends in Tampa.
306
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:21,299
Oh, yeah? Then where did I
get skin cancer, smart guy?
307
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:27,305
Beep, boop, beep, beep, boop.
308
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,441
Beep, boop, boop, beep...
309
00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:31,376
Dad, that robot wants money.
310
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:34,512
...beep, beep, boop, boop, beep...
311
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:37,049
Stay away from him.
These guys have diseases.
312
00:13:37,051 --> 00:13:38,384
Shut up! You don't know me.
313
00:13:38,386 --> 00:13:40,518
You're just a lucky guesser.
314
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,987
Beep, boop, beep...
315
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,656
I'm Robot Man's best friend, Gold Boy.
316
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:45,991
It's me... Steve.
317
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,926
Get lost, Gold Boy.
318
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,261
No can do.
319
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,729
I'm your sidekick for all eternity.
320
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,198
And in real life, too.
321
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,066
- Beep, boop!
- Aah!
322
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,124
Beep.
323
00:14:00,408 --> 00:14:02,274
Hello! Welcome.
324
00:14:02,276 --> 00:14:04,476
So, it's protective booties
for everyone.
325
00:14:04,478 --> 00:14:06,412
- I'm sure you've noticed the bones.
- Huh?
326
00:14:06,414 --> 00:14:08,146
So, we're asking potential buyers
327
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:11,416
for a heartfelt letter outlining
why you should get the house.
328
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:14,486
Sorry, I thought
this house was abandoned.
329
00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:15,954
See, my girlfriend has diarrhea,
330
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,923
and I wanted to shoot up a little.
331
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:21,493
Damn it! No one wants this house.
332
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,229
Nobody cares about bones.
333
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:26,031
Jeff screwed us!
334
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,966
Jeffrey, is this true?
335
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,167
Did you screw us?
336
00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,768
Looks like I did, Mr. S.
337
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,504
Okay, you can kill him.
338
00:14:32,506 --> 00:14:33,772
Run, babe!
339
00:14:33,774 --> 00:14:37,209
We're all gonna need fresh
booties to go back in!
340
00:14:43,587 --> 00:14:44,916
I can't get rid of Steve.
341
00:14:45,883 --> 00:14:48,053
Courtney, my boy in Tampa,
342
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,455
he had a clinger like this.
343
00:14:49,457 --> 00:14:50,922
Florida State girl.
344
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,057
You know how that goes.
345
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,791
Actually, I don't, and neither do you
346
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,327
because none of those people exist.
347
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,062
I have an actual crisis!
348
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,464
What did you expect?
349
00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:02,000
You blew up his entire support
system for a squash partner.
350
00:15:02,258 --> 00:15:03,535
Roger, you in there?
351
00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:05,603
- You going wee-wee?
- What do I do, Klaus?
352
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,539
Instead of losing Steve,
353
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:11,409
you should be reuniting
him with his old friends.
354
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,280
Peek-a-boo!
355
00:15:15,808 --> 00:15:17,749
Aah! You got me, buddy!
356
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,018
How can I reunite Steve and his friends?
357
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,554
Well, to learn about that,
you have to learn about friendship,
358
00:15:22,556 --> 00:15:24,490
and if you want to
learn about friendship,
359
00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:26,892
we have to go to Tampa.
360
00:15:26,894 --> 00:15:29,027
There's no way you
have friends in Tampa.
361
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,629
But a little trip to get away
from Steve, I'm in.
362
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,832
Pack for the heat.
You got any tank tops?
363
00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:36,702
I have a framed sleeveless
Aaron Rodgers jersey.
364
00:15:36,704 --> 00:15:38,837
Hmm. Do you own a glass cutter?
365
00:15:38,839 --> 00:15:40,972
I do, but it's also framed.
366
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,107
Okay, grab both frames
367
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,115
and we'll figure it out
on the way to the airport.
368
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,752
Steve won't stop texting.
369
00:15:53,754 --> 00:15:56,221
"In line at a goat cheese sale.
370
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:57,488
Pick you up a log?"
371
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,224
Can you believe this guy?
372
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:00,492
"Two logs."
373
00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:01,893
Relax.
374
00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:04,563
Steve just has to reunite
with his old friends,
375
00:16:04,565 --> 00:16:07,098
and once you see how
tight me and my boys are,
376
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,300
you'll know how to make that happen.
377
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:13,304
Now stop worrying and take
in these Florida swamps.
378
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,440
Wow, so these are the people
379
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,976
who decide who's president every time.
380
00:16:18,538 --> 00:16:21,246
We gon' make Hulk Hogan president!
381
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:23,482
You know best!
382
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,119
There's a doorbell.
383
00:16:30,591 --> 00:16:31,923
When you show up at a friend's house,
384
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:34,393
make sure you bring a fancy gift.
385
00:16:34,395 --> 00:16:36,995
Here, give these blunt wraps to Big Ed.
386
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,997
You're gonna love these dudes.
387
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,566
They're so funny.
388
00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:43,102
'Sup?
389
00:16:43,204 --> 00:16:45,737
'Sup?
390
00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:47,606
Whoa, no way.
391
00:16:47,608 --> 00:16:50,209
Your friends are real.
392
00:16:50,211 --> 00:16:53,678
Look at this.
There's an inside, and more guys!
393
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,947
This is my boy, Roger. He's chill.
394
00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:57,816
He's here to learn about friendship.
395
00:16:57,818 --> 00:16:59,418
- 'Sup?
- 'Sup?
396
00:16:59,420 --> 00:17:02,021
Whoa, Klaus' stories are for real?
397
00:17:02,023 --> 00:17:05,290
I can't believe it.
Astroturf rug... check.
398
00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:08,359
Unlicensed exotic animal storage...
check.
399
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,694
The fan that's never on
400
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,898
despite it being 120 degrees in here...
check.
401
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:15,767
But surely the torn poster
was a work of fiction.
402
00:17:16,389 --> 00:17:17,569
The torn poster!
403
00:17:17,571 --> 00:17:19,771
In all its glory.
404
00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:23,041
Please, please take me
to the toilet Big Ed cracked
405
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,710
when he sat on it backwards.
406
00:17:25,056 --> 00:17:26,845
What the hell are you doing out there?
407
00:17:26,847 --> 00:17:28,713
What? I was chill.
408
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,781
Was I not chill?
409
00:17:29,783 --> 00:17:31,516
No, you're being all crazy.
410
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,052
What was that bullshit about the fan?
411
00:17:33,054 --> 00:17:35,186
I told you that in confidence.
412
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,287
Okay, sorry.
413
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,156
I'm chill now.
414
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,391
Holy [BLEEP] is that the water moccasin
415
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,728
Vance took to the Orlando premier of
"Scary Movie 4"?!
416
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,196
Pull yourself together, man.
417
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,532
Grab a room-temperature
Otterpop from the lighter drawer
418
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:50,269
and just... cool out.
419
00:17:50,271 --> 00:17:52,871
I'll go try to smooth
it over with the guys.
420
00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:55,540
Roger, where are you going?
421
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,742
We haven't solved your Steve problem.
422
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,279
I think I got my problem solved.
423
00:18:02,416 --> 00:18:04,549
? Y'all gon' make me lose my mind ?
424
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:05,751
? Up in here ?
425
00:18:07,888 --> 00:18:09,821
My mom and dad are gonna kill us!
426
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,690
These walls won't hold forever!
427
00:18:12,693 --> 00:18:14,693
This is all my fault, babe.
428
00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:17,496
I never knew anything
about flipping houses.
429
00:18:17,498 --> 00:18:21,432
I just wanted to be closer to you.
430
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,634
Oh, babe.
431
00:18:22,636 --> 00:18:25,103
I love you for who you are.
432
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:28,307
And so ends
433
00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:32,577
the greatest love story ever told.
434
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,848
? Y'all gon' make me act a fool ?
435
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:37,849
? Up in here, up in here ?
436
00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:40,051
Roger, you returned to me!
437
00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:41,653
? Y'all gon' make me lose my cool ?
438
00:18:41,655 --> 00:18:42,988
? Up in here, up in here ?
439
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:44,656
- Whose car is this?
- Buckle up.
440
00:18:44,658 --> 00:18:47,126
We're going to a Friendiversary event.
441
00:18:47,128 --> 00:18:49,060
Oh, those guys don't want to see me.
442
00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:50,461
Of course they want to see you.
443
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,331
- You're gonna save their lives.
- Huh?
444
00:18:52,333 --> 00:18:55,066
? 'Cause you a soft type... What ?
445
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:57,536
I figured out how to reunite
you with your friends.
446
00:18:57,538 --> 00:19:00,205
? Dog is a dog,
blood's thicker than water ?
447
00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:03,008
I put a water moccasin
into the Chesterbrook pool,
448
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:05,410
and then I invited your
friends to play Marco Polo
449
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,346
with Olympic great Michael Phelps.
450
00:19:07,348 --> 00:19:09,881
People will believe anything
in a Facebook invite.
451
00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:11,150
Fake news!
452
00:19:11,152 --> 00:19:12,951
Oh, my God, why would you do that?!
453
00:19:12,953 --> 00:19:16,822
So you can save their lives
and prove your loyalty.
454
00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:20,959
Go get your friends back.
455
00:19:20,961 --> 00:19:22,894
When Michael Phelps shows up,
456
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:25,831
please don't tell him I'm
sitting on six pool noodles.
457
00:19:26,483 --> 00:19:27,566
Get out of the pool!
458
00:19:27,568 --> 00:19:29,234
There's a deadly snake!
459
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,569
Save it, Steve.
460
00:19:30,571 --> 00:19:31,837
I know I betrayed you,
461
00:19:31,839 --> 00:19:33,172
but you got to believe me!
462
00:19:33,174 --> 00:19:34,506
Save it.
463
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,975
You don't need to pretend
to save our lives.
464
00:19:36,977 --> 00:19:39,310
We already forgive you, Steve.
465
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,912
What? Y-You do?
466
00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:42,113
We got to talking,
467
00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:44,383
and a giant rat grabbing us,
468
00:19:44,385 --> 00:19:46,018
we all would've blabbed.
469
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:47,967
_
470
00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:53,258
I can't believe I got
my best friends back.
471
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,394
You were saying something about a snake?
472
00:19:55,396 --> 00:19:56,728
Oh, my God, the snake!
473
00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:58,797
What's taking so long?
474
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,134
Loud batch of Natty Ice.
475
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:05,003
Oh, I dumped the wrong cooler.
476
00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:07,939
There's no snake in here.
477
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:10,742
Roger must've lied to reunite us.
478
00:20:10,744 --> 00:20:12,644
Guys, look! I'm swimming!
479
00:20:14,615 --> 00:20:17,616
It's a Friendiversary miracle!
480
00:20:18,085 --> 00:20:19,618
Snake!
481
00:20:24,025 --> 00:20:25,124
Man down!
482
00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:29,328
We need to find the bite
and suck out the venom!
483
00:20:31,069 --> 00:20:33,197
Ooh!
484
00:20:33,291 --> 00:20:34,633
Inner thigh.
485
00:20:35,564 --> 00:20:36,635
I'll do it.
486
00:20:36,637 --> 00:20:38,770
No. We're best friends,
487
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:42,441
and we'll all suck out the venom.
488
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:50,315
I think I finally understand friendship.
489
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:52,984
And so ends
490
00:20:52,986 --> 00:20:58,590
the greatest love story ever told.
491
00:20:58,592 --> 00:21:00,359
Have a great night!
492
00:21:02,484 --> 00:21:04,537
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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