All language subtitles for trollied_s07e04

Valco! Serves you right. I've prepared
something.

Can't you just stop that? Don't forget
our brilliant... From booze to biscuit.

Red hot ale, loads of total ones. The
finest butchers, the freshest meat.

Now 24 hours a day.

Service with a smile.

Friendly staff, always happy to help.

Roger that.

Tick.

Am I getting paid for this? Valco!

Serves you right.

Seriously, I'm giving myself an official
warning.

Red card, Cheryl Fairweather.

No more wedding planning during the
working day. I'm not even going to

it. What?

The wedding. Ha -ha! You see, just did
it! Oh, yes, yes, yes! Just did it! Ha

-ha -ha -ha -ha!

OK, well, that is the last time, I
promise.

Zip it.

No, from now on, we just concentrate on
24 -hour Falco and nothing else, agreed?

Yeah, I told you, you know, it's all in
hand. There's really, really nothing for

you to worry about.

Sorry. Oh, wedding venue.

Nope, I'm not going to take it. I can
work, focus.

Well, officially, we don't start work
for another four and a half minutes,

God, I love your attention to detail.

Cheryl Fairweather speaking.

What? What?

Oh, dear.

Trouble in paradise.

No, no, no. It's just the head office.
Very dull. Management stuff.

Go, go, go.

I studied the ancient art of body
language.

And if Cheryl is talking to head office,
we've got some serious shiz going down.

Really? What kind of shiz?

High -level shiz.

Grade A shiz. Right.

Sorry, what is shiz?

Short for shizzle, my gizzle. Do you
have any more recommendations anywhere

I can go?

Well, all I can say is I'm glad I
trapped the old vest on today.

What do you mean?

Oh, but we had a verbal agreement.

Well, this is literally a nightmare.

You'll be hearing from my solicitors.
Goodbye.

Bad news?

Who ever made you think that, Gavin?
Yes, it was bad news.

Their news just cancelled on us.

Oh, shizzle.

Here's the list for the big shop.

Right.

Um,

right, darling, it just says food and
that.

Yeah, cos that's what we need.

Oh, and remember to set the alarm, cos
it's every two hours. If you miss even

one, I will be pissed. I know. Baby
feeds, is it?

No, Love Island repeats.

Yeah. Right, I'll see you later.

See you later, hot mama.

Say bye, hot mama.

Oh, can I get a cuddle?

Right, OK, quick, Bob, she's not
looking.

Oh! I mean, when are they going to...

venue at such short notice.

Well, have you thought of checking the
Thompson directory?

Not since 1987, Gavin, no!

Oh, I think snappy Susan might have just
popped in for tea. Yes, I think she

might have done. Shall I tell her that
we're busy? Yes, please.

I'm sorry, it's just this week of all
weeks, what with the Valco 24 -hour

and everything.

Yeah, well, we could just cancel it.

Perhaps. I mean, it's just the thought.

Really? You'd be okay with that? Oh,
yeah, of course. I mean, 24 -hour

they're horrendous, my dear. It's a
disaster waiting to happen.

No. Oh, crosswise, Christopher, you
meant cancelling the wedding.

No. You did?

No. No, no. No, no, no.

I guess, yeah, I guess I always knew it
was too good to be true. Well, you know,

you're free to get a better man now.

Stronger, taller.

Bloody redder hair. No, Gavin, Gavin, I
don't mean that. I want to marry you

more than anything in the world. It's
just that...

I just don't have time to sort it.

Unless, of course, you sorted it.

Me?

Cheryl Fairweather, have you been
smoking mackerel? No, no, no, I'm

trust you. You just planned the wedding
you'd always dreamt of as a little boy.

Are you sure?

Absolutely positive.

Run free with it.

Do whatever you like.

As long as the groom is confirmed, I'm
happy.

Aye, it's confirmed.

Confirmed an RSVP. Yeah, you really
didn't have to actually write back to

but very helpful anyway.

Donna, you've not seen the new night
manager, have you?

Nope. Heard about the crisis, though.
What crisis?

Got you. What crisis?

Nice one. No, seriously, Donna, what
crisis?

The one that Gavin and Cheryl were on
about. Valco crisis?

Is it?

I never said that. Yeah, you did, but
I'm on board.

You said nothing.

I'm going to need a level three security
clearance on this.

It doesn't exist.

Officially. Or in reality.

Okay, understood. We're going
underground.

We're not doing anything.

Clever. No paper trail. I like it. But
you need to know you can trust me.

I'm not one for having loose lips.
Great. In fact, I'm known in the

how tight my lips are.

deputy manager, or maybe the HR woman.
It's not totally clear, to be honest.

Katie. And she's wearing, like, a blazer
and a pencil skirt.

Katie. Oh, she's got that blondie
brownie hair, you know, and those Mahusa

modern eyebrows.

Katie!

Here she is.

What am I like, eh? You really do.

I'm so happy. Thank you.

Hey, I was lucky to bump into that
customer services woman. Sue. Yeah, you

with the short, gothic flamingo hat.
Yeah, Sue.

Green falco shirt. Yes, Sue. Wearing
glasses.

Yeah, it's Sue, and she's not even
wearing glasses.

Well, maybe it's not Sue, then.

Hiya, Gavin.

Sorry to bother you.

Yes, Margaret, how can I help?

Oh, I don't need anything. Well, I just
wanted a nice, quiet sit -down for a

bit.

Right, well, only I'm actually quite
busy.

Busy? Oh, you are funny, Gavin.

Sorry, ignore me.

Why do they call them crisps?

What? Why do they call them crisps? I
really don't know, Margaret.

No, but it's interesting, though, isn't
it? No.

In America, they call them potato chips.

Oh, dear.

Yes, you know, I'm actually in the
middle of planning my own wedding here,

Margaret. It's normal.

It's all right.

Potato chips.

Potato chips.

Potato chips.

On your own today, Sim?

Yes, that's right.

She's not in. I don't know where she is
or who she's with.

She still smells like a meadow.

Anyway, you only saw her yesterday.

Well, the day's all merging to one when
you lie awake all night, clinging on to

the only pillow that still smells of
her.

Oh, for God's sake, Neville. Do us all a
favour and put a wash on.

To be honest, being out on the shop
floor is pretty much a formality.

Customers and staff just need to know
that you're available to them.

Yep, yep, I get you, because I am
totally listening to you now. Can I ask

question? Absolutely. How much of it can
we eat?

Sorry? How much of the food can we
actually eat?

None of it.

I'm serious, Lou. If you haven't bought
it, you can't eat it.

Oh, shit.

Really? I definitely did not realise
that.

Shall we carry on? Yeah.

What? You might say it's just a banana.

I picked it up without thinking, Don.

But it's a gateway crime.

Today, a banana.

Tomorrow, a Samsung widescreen HD TV
with surround sound. She's three years

She was crying. So I picked up a banana.

I always pay for them at the till. Is
everything all right here? Stand back,

please, Katie. This is a crime scene.

She's a child.

I'm sorry about this.

Can you let them go, please, Donna?

Got you. Let them go. Understood. No, I
don't think you do.

I mean, let them go.

Oh, so you mean, like, actually let them
go?

No, you've got it. Oh.

Thank you for shopping at Barco. Thank
you for shopping at Barco.

See? What?

Look, if you'd let me have a Level 3
security clearance and kept me in the

that might never have happened. Why?

Because I've only got basic clearance,
so I'm on edge. I'm like a security

maker, up on my horses, looking for the
next crisis.

Where is it? What is it?

Why would they give me a Level 3
security clearance? Because it doesn't

Oh, I see.

Still toeing the line.

Shame.

Shame.

Oh, hello.

I just wanted to know if the Maldon
Suite was available.

Oh, it is? Oh, fantastic.

That's an awful place. It's the right
dump, isn't it?

Actually, yeah, don't worry. I've
changed my mind.

Yeah, thank you.

Right, what's the next one on the list?

Maldon Suite. That looks lovely.

Photo booths are for passport renewals.
Everybody knows that.

Bows on chair backs.

I'm not Louis XVI.

Risotto on a big spoon.

This isn't a bonga -bonga party.

Is Cheryl here yet? No, but Gavin's
turned into a groomzilla.

Now that I've got to say.

That is going to throw my colour scheme
off entirely, you see. Listen, I'll have

a think about it and I'll call you back.

Sorry to interrupt, but I seem to have
lost Lou or she's gone missing and she's

meant to be meeting Cheryl.

Oh, that is a shame. Listen, if she pops
up, just get her to count some boxes in

the storeroom. Or do you mean hide her
so she misses her meeting?

Listen, I know Cheryl won't mind.

What won't Cheryl mind?

Saying I do while we skydive?

No, I mean, not meeting our new night
manager. I mean, she's already working

floor. She's got the hang of it already.

Right, no, sorry, hubby boo -boo, I am
going to have to pull rank on you there.

I do have to meet her. This is a key
hire for head office.

Well, she's around all day, so whenever.

Yeah, we'll give you a shout.

Or I can just bring her straight to you.

At some point.

How about 5 .30?

Exactly. Great, OK, we can have a cup of
tea in the canteen.

So how's all this coming on? Well, if
I'm honest, it's not that easy.

Gavin's not got a very good telephone
manner to tell the truth.

Oh. Well, listen, all you need to do is
think of places that hold a special

meaning for us as a couple.

You'll be fine.

I'll let you two get on with it. I'll
see you all later.

Right, I'll leave you to it, Gavin.

I've got some work to do. Yes, please
go. Do it.

So, what do we do now?

Somewhere that means something special
to us.

Gavin, I mean about the supermarket.

Oh, yes, of course.

Of course.

And that's it.

Very good work, Katie.

Honestly, Neville, it's like hanging
about with your best mate all day. It's

great to see you looking so well. Oh,
come on, Neville, this isn't just well.

Right, before this little one was
like... Right, I was Colin Light. Now,

now I'm like peak Colin. Look at Colin.

Right, but the best thing of all, Nev...

I don't have to waste my life away, like
a bellend, wearing a white hat all day.

No offence.

It is quite offensive.

It is, isn't it? It is quite offensive.

Yes, it is. Yes, it is. I'll see you
later, then. Bye.

Cheryl. Cheryl.

I found us a venue at last, and it's
perfect.

Where is it? Well, I was thinking about
what you said about...

about finding a venue that means
something.

And suddenly I realised... I'll leave
all in gardens for protection and

to see it.

No, no, no, but it's been staring us in
the face all this time.

Hamilton Hotel and Conference Centre.

No, but I can never forget Conference
Room 4. Still a sparkling.

Turn your mind. My printer's running low
on toner. Let me refill your cartridge.

Drink me.

No, no, no, it's something that...
There's been a huge part of our

Cheryl Fairweather.

Soon to be strong.

Let me take you by the hand and lead you
to the most perfect wedding venue in

Warrington.

Ta -da!

You've lost me. That's because we've
already arrived.

I'm saying right here, in store, we
should get married in Malco!

I'd like to be a dad one day.

Mine left on a forever business trip
when I was a child.

And it was really sad.

But at least we got a brand new patio.

Like the very next day. Oh, it's good
news, isn't it?

But yeah, it's the best job in the
world, mate.

Except in most jobs you hate every
single person you work with. And you

angry pictures of them involved in road
traffic accidents.

Am I right or am I right? Yeah, I'm
going to say right. Yeah, definitely.

Anyway, I'm going to get off.

Log on to my Ask Book page and I'll see
you in a bit.

Hello.

I'm Heather.

Or you can call me Auntie Heather.

Or... Mummy.

If you want.

Would you like to go on an adventure?

A couple did it in the Morrisons in
Derby and they were just customers.

I would never have thought of this.

And we've already got the catering
facilities and everybody knows we do the

jack of potatoes this side of Rumpel. I
just would never have thought of this.

Yeah, I know, I know. Oh, right.

And this is the best bit. Now, just wait
there.

As you walk down the aisle, I'll be
waiting here with the registrar to say,

I'll do.

In a super pocket.

Isn't it wonderful?

So, this is the manager's formatting
page.

Basically, you need the access codes to
use this area because it allows you to

alter the pricing structures.

And only I get to use them because I'm
the most important.

Yeah, I don't mean important, do I? What
do I mean? Do I mean... Do I mean

amazing?

Or you could mean the manager that gets
to access the pricing codes. Yeah, that.

I'm that.

I know.

Crazy how.

You don't like me much, do you, Katie?

Or do you? I don't know. Genuine
question. I can't really tell because

your face is like, ooh! Oh, she makes me
so cross.

And other times it's just like, deal.

It's not that. It's just because I don't
really know you.

But you'd like to?

Yeah. Yeah,

I won you round. I knew it. I knew I
could.

You know, like, whenever I meet someone,
it's really obvious that they think I'm

a twat. I make it my personal mission to
get them to like me.

Give that a minute of house you leave.
Yeah. Don't bother me, babe.

That's evil.

Even for you. I know.

Anyway, how come you're still here?

Where's baby?

Ooh, where has she gone? I'm sure I left
her around there somewhere.

Darling, what kind of a dad do you take
me for? I'm not just going to drop her

to run off for a dump.

Oh, I'm sorry, babe. You're right.

Because if you had lost her... Which I
haven't. Which you haven't, I'd be using

your little scrotal sack as a bag for
life.

What is

it, Neville? Oh, no, no, nothing. I'm
just wondering if I'll ever truly

understand the...

Complex workings of the female psyche.

I don't know why women in relationships
prefer to drink alone, dine alone and

make love alone.

Let me give you a short cut, shall I?
Women get annoyed with having bellends

boyfriends. That's pretty much all you
need to know.

Loud and clear, Subidu.

Loud and clear.

Shall we?

Baby, baby, baby.

Oh, shit, shit,

shit.

Oh, so how's it all going? Oh, really
good, actually. I've just worked out how

to do discounts on the computer. So now
I'll do it by magic.

No, not magic. By hard managerial work.

No, it wasn't even hard. I have put
tablets on at £29 .99.

You've done what?

I know.

It's a bargain, isn't it? I'm just going
to do flat screen two for one now. No.

What, no?

When did you do this? What? No, well,
not that long ago.

I doubt anyone will even have noticed.

Oh, they've noticed, all right.

I've only brought Empathy Eric in with
me.

And Anxious Andrew.

Come on, Andrew.

Out you come.

No, it's just me and a baby here. No one
can hurt you anymore.

Come.

Oh,

I'm sorry. Are you OK, Andrew?

Andrew? Are you OK?

Donna, we may need your help.

Yeah, I should say at this point that
none of this is Katie's fault. Because

isn't. Yeah, no, I am happy to take the
blame for this. Because it was your

fault. Everybody makes mistakes.

No, Lou, only you do. Yeah, that is our
story, and we're sticking with it. OK,

so we've basically got some very
stressed -out customers on the

aisle due to a pricing error, so we may
need your help. Was there a crisis?

Yeah. No. Yes, there did. Well, that's a
shame. I've been told very clearly

there's no crisis here today, and due to
the fact that I've only got basic

clearance, I'm unable to verify the
situation.

OK, fine.

You get level three security clearance.

Level three, are we? Yes. Okay, so can
we get your help? Okay, let's go.

Are we talking tasers? No. And just to
be very clear again, we are never

tasers. Officially.

Or ever.

Not until you get level four clearance.

Level four?

No, Tommy was level four.

But it doesn't exist.

And we might need some hair dye. Not
because I don't like your hair, Anton,

to stop people asking questions.

Oh, mate.

There you are.

I thought I'd lost her. I thought I'd
lost my baby, which means I'd leave my

bollocks. I mean... No, this isn't your
baby.

He's mine.

And he's called Anton.

Tell him, Anton.

Wow. That is proper bonkers, isn't it?

I mean, even for you.

Congratulations, Heather. You have
stepped it right up. OK, well, what if

raise her together?

You're a bit younger than I used to go
for.

OK, bye.

Anton.

OK, so I'm really sorry, everybody, but
it was just a typo. There are no tablets

for sale at this price.

Come on! Our apologies, but there are
great deals to be had at Valco every day

of the week.

Just not as good as that one.

Sorry.

Mum and Dad and all the guests come in.

Sit down on lovely tables with
decorations.

And then, yes, Inca Govan and I come
through this door. Ladies and gentlemen,

please be upstanding for the bride and
groom!

Hooray!

Hooray!

Oh.

Any top tips?

Just be yourself.

Depends if you want to keep your job or
not.

Cheryl? This is Lou. Lou, this is
Cheryl.

Hello, how are you? Lovely to meet you.
Oh, and you. Thank you.

Oh, you smell really good.

I'm not being thingy. I just, you
genuinely, she does. She does. That's

That's really good. And are you
confident about the launch?

Well, I wasn't.

And then, and then I was.

And then I started to think, Luke, this
could be the most important day of your

entire life. But do I really want it to
be in a supermarket?

Exactly.

I'm really sorry. I've got to go. I've
got to go and speak to Gavin.

And that, my friend, is how to make an
impression.

I don't want to get married

in a supermarket.

Oh, I see.

Look, I love this place. Really, I do.
And I love how romantic the idea was.

It's just that... I'm not sure I want to
promise my undying love to you in the

yogurts and probiotics aisle. Are you
very disappointed?

No, it's fine. Really?

Totally. You know, if I'm honest, I
don't think I'm up to this job.

It's a stick of rock with your names
running through them.

Piniata, centrepieces, uplighting,
profiteroles.

Profiteroles aren't, like, crazy.

I don't know. It's all too much for me.

I need help, and I need your help.

OK, well, look, here's a thought. Why
don't we plan this thing together?

Like a manager and a regional area
manager might run a branch of Alcove.

Exactly like that.

Only to be absolutely clear, not
actually in a vanco.

Oh, no, absolutely, yeah.

Honeymoon, maybe.

Did you reckon I should come back to
work?

Yeah, totally. It's about time we got
our sex life back on track.

Oh, baby.

What do you think of Lou, then?

Who?

The new night manager.

Oh, Lou, Lou, Lou.

No, no, I like her, I like her.

I mean, anyway, you chose her, so she's
bound to be good, isn't she?

Yeah, yeah, no doubt.

Good luck with all that shizzle -gizzle.

Do you know, I still have no idea what
that means.

OK.