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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:04,570 Valco! Serves you right. I've prepared something. 2 00:00:05,190 --> 00:00:09,890 Can't you just stop that? Don't forget our brilliant... From booze to biscuits. 3 00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:12,150 Red Hot Dale, loads of total ones. 4 00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:14,610 The finest butchers, the freshest meat. 5 00:00:14,850 --> 00:00:18,510 Now 24 hours a day. Service with a smile. 6 00:00:19,450 --> 00:00:21,310 Friendly staff, always happy to help. 7 00:00:21,690 --> 00:00:22,690 Roger that. 8 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:24,490 Tick. 9 00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:27,130 Am I getting paid for this? Valco! 10 00:00:27,890 --> 00:00:29,050 Serves you right. 11 00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,620 So, are you going to Cheryl and Gavin's wedding? 12 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,100 I'm providing security. 13 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:36,900 Do weddings have security guards? 14 00:00:37,140 --> 00:00:40,240 It's my gift to them. They've asked me not to, but I've read between the lines. 15 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,540 Oh. 16 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:47,740 So, if, hypothetically, someone, I don't know who, stood up and said, Don't do 17 00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:48,399 it, Gavin! 18 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,400 I love you! 19 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:50,760 Marry me! She's poison! 20 00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:52,340 What would you do? 21 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:54,400 I'd have to take them out. 22 00:00:54,740 --> 00:00:55,619 Kill them? 23 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,520 No, no, no. Take them out of the registry office. 24 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:58,840 Oh. 25 00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:00,500 And kill them. 26 00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:07,420 Ah, Lou, I was hoping to catch you. 27 00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,680 I was not stealing. 28 00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:11,360 What? Only toothpaste. 29 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:19,560 No, look, I just wanted to say sorry again about this whole... this whole 30 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,160 thing. Oh, nothing, honestly. 31 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,840 And anyway, I'm not even fired. Cheryl just said I needed to work my notice 32 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:24,840 period. 33 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,200 That means you're fired. 34 00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:31,200 Oh, I thought it was that, you know, we're going to notice you for a few 35 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:32,600 No. 36 00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:34,220 Well... 37 00:01:35,859 --> 00:01:38,560 I'm going to go and get another job. 38 00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:41,820 I think I might be a dentist this time. 39 00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:43,920 How is it with Cheryl? 40 00:01:44,260 --> 00:01:47,420 Is she talking to you again? Oh, not really. I mean, there's eye contact 41 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,760 though, so... They were both fine. 42 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:04,440 Now, I'm not saying you'll definitely be blind within the week, but mind how you 43 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,230 go. Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, Dr. Bryan. 44 00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:08,930 I woke up early. 45 00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:11,390 Morning, Margaret. 46 00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:12,650 Good weekend? 47 00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:15,750 Yes. We went out for dinner yesterday. 48 00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:18,970 There's a new Chinese restaurant open just down the road. 49 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,250 Oh, what did you have? 50 00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:21,450 Roast beef and Yorkshire pud. 51 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:22,750 At a Chinese? 52 00:02:22,850 --> 00:02:23,850 Oh, no, we didn't go to Chinese. 53 00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:27,130 Well, why did you tell me about it, then? Because I thought you'd like to 54 00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:33,690 Oh, no, we don't like Chinese. It makes my Alan's eyes all bulge. Tell me about 55 00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:38,250 your wild weekend later. I need your help. I've been working on my speech for 56 00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:38,869 the wedding. 57 00:02:38,870 --> 00:02:43,450 Oh, you speak lovely, Dr. Bryan, just because they all said that you're whiny. 58 00:02:43,670 --> 00:02:44,990 I'm not whiny. 59 00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:47,390 I'm not whiny. 60 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,150 I mean my best man speech. 61 00:02:49,550 --> 00:02:52,670 Has Gavin asked you to be his best man? No, but who else would he choose? 62 00:02:53,190 --> 00:02:56,350 Well, family, friends, neighbours. 63 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,740 Somebody he likes. A sister. 64 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,620 No, I'm the obvious choice. 65 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,400 Tell me more about the carvery. 66 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,940 Guess what I had. Same as you have every week. Beef? 67 00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:09,780 Duck. Roast duck. 68 00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,440 Noodles and chow mein. 69 00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:12,359 Hang on. 70 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,179 Oh, no. 71 00:03:13,180 --> 00:03:16,040 No, Alan had duck. Oh, I had beef. Beef. 72 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,080 Thank you. 73 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,600 Right now, have a good weekend. 74 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,620 Oh, absolutely smashing. Thank you, Linda. 75 00:03:21,860 --> 00:03:24,700 Meg had a money -off voucher for a romantic boat trip. 76 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:25,960 How was it? 77 00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:27,710 Have you seen Captain Phillips? 78 00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:32,950 Still, all got ironed out in the end. I should go near a boat after I've had a 79 00:03:32,950 --> 00:03:33,829 low date that time. 80 00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:34,549 Oh, yes. 81 00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:37,230 Wasn't it amazing all those seagulls decided to attack her? 82 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,730 When she was like, my eyes, my eyes! 83 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,990 Right, I like... No, no, I'm concerned. 84 00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:44,890 No, it's all right. Let her go. 85 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,350 Seriously. Oi, Katie! 86 00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:57,470 Me and Lise, we bought Gavin and Cheryl a wedding present. Did either of them 87 00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:58,470 smoke? No. 88 00:03:58,630 --> 00:03:59,369 Oh, God. 89 00:03:59,370 --> 00:04:00,410 We'll keep them, then. 90 00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:03,290 Do you know what? I'm pretty excited for the wedding, though, man. It's going to 91 00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:04,670 be, like, short. Short, hang on. What's that? 92 00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:06,930 No, I love the hen do, me. 93 00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:10,850 Hey, where's Cheryl's? It's not Blackpool, is it? I'm not allowed there 94 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:14,210 tag. I don't think she's having one, and I don't think Gavin's having a stag, 95 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,210 either. What? 96 00:04:15,370 --> 00:04:19,029 Cheryl's got to have a hen do. Last fling before the ring. It's not cheating 97 00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:20,050 you shag someone on a hen. 98 00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:22,110 It is, Lise. 99 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:23,480 Really? Yeah. 100 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:27,080 Oops. If they don't want a hen and a stag, then we can't force them to have 101 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:27,919 You know what? 102 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,060 Katie's right, ma 'am. We should force them. I never said that. Good thinking, 103 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,980 Katie. Hey, and don't worry. 104 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:34,479 Falco's paying. 105 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:35,459 Oh! 106 00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:36,460 Serves us nice. 107 00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:37,900 Guys. 108 00:04:40,660 --> 00:04:41,660 Oh, Cheryl. 109 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,320 Oh, thank God. 110 00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:44,580 I've missed you. 111 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:48,440 I'm so sorry I've messed up. This is not a social call, Mrs Strong. I'm here to 112 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,440 hire a new night manager. 113 00:04:49,820 --> 00:04:50,820 Oh. Well. 114 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,500 At least it's good we're talking. I shouldn't have to do it myself, but my 115 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:58,980 lying, dishonest, lying... No, you've used lying twice there. I'm sorry. 116 00:04:58,980 --> 00:04:59,980 don't interrupt me. 117 00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:04,260 My lying, dishonest boyfriend deliberately cocked it up last time and 118 00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,060 worst possible person, and he can't be trusted. 119 00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:07,960 Boyfriend? Surely you mean fiancé. 120 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,460 I suppose it might be too soon for talking. 121 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,860 Harry, oh, my God, it's amazing. 122 00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:19,780 Colin, we're invited tonight. 123 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:21,940 It's a stag do. 124 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:29,500 Stag. Stag. Stag. Stag. Stag. It's my duty as best man to give 125 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:35,120 Gavin the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. And then he'll be 126 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:39,120 Cheryl the most uncomfortable five minutes of her life tonight. 127 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,160 Why's that? 128 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:47,720 Well, it's a joke. You know, about the wedding night in the bedroom. 129 00:05:51,990 --> 00:05:53,870 Gavin's got an uncomfortable bed. 130 00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:55,570 No, no, no. 131 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,590 It's a bit of blue. 132 00:05:58,190 --> 00:05:59,190 Oh, no. 133 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,990 No, no, no. I won't hear blue. 134 00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:03,590 It's the best man speech. 135 00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:04,949 I don't care. 136 00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,190 I'm not having blue. 137 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:11,510 I'm the same with my Alan. He told me a blue joke last month, and I locked him 138 00:06:11,510 --> 00:06:15,070 out the house. You locked him out the house? Yes, I told him, if you want to 139 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,550 blue, you can be blue in the garden. 140 00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:19,350 How long was he out there? Three days. It was a very blue joke. 141 00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,130 And I'm not having you. 142 00:06:22,410 --> 00:06:24,370 Upstage, Gavin's wedding with Blue. 143 00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:28,330 So, take it out. OK, OK. 144 00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:32,790 Oh, um, what about that bit? 145 00:06:34,450 --> 00:06:35,450 Oh! 146 00:06:38,370 --> 00:06:39,870 It's a minefield for customers. 147 00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:41,090 Excuse me. 148 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:44,590 Um, Cheryl, I know things aren't ideal at the minute, but I was hoping we could 149 00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:46,890 talk about the seating plan for the big day. I haven't got time. 150 00:06:47,150 --> 00:06:49,690 I'm happy to take the lead. I really don't mind. I love you! 151 00:06:56,970 --> 00:06:57,970 You all right, Gavin? 152 00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,630 No, not really, no. Is it wedding nerves? 153 00:07:02,150 --> 00:07:06,930 Are you thinking, she was a bitch, and you hate her anyway, and the real future 154 00:07:06,930 --> 00:07:08,870 Mrs. Strong's been under your nose all along? 155 00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:11,410 I'm so sorry, Heather. I was miles away there. 156 00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:14,990 Actually, can you come to my office, please? 157 00:07:16,010 --> 00:07:17,310 There's something I need to do. 158 00:07:19,930 --> 00:07:20,930 Right! 159 00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:22,170 Planning committee. 160 00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:25,410 There is no such thing as a bad idea. 161 00:07:26,220 --> 00:07:27,300 Unless it's Neville's idea. 162 00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:31,380 So, let's hear what you got. I'm going to get the ball rolling here. I'm going 163 00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:34,100 to go with the oldest tradition in a thag book. 164 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,120 Shave his pubes off. 165 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:40,240 We're not doing that. It's tradition, so... We need to do something that they 166 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:41,079 both like. 167 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,120 Do something romantic. 168 00:07:42,540 --> 00:07:46,120 No offence, Katie, but you're single. You don't really get what it's all 169 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,760 I'm not single. I go out with Daniel. 170 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,460 Well, how come none of us have ever met this Daniel? You have met Daniel. You 171 00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:52,660 was working with him for two years. 172 00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:56,570 Right, OK, yeah, let's get back to the ideas board. 173 00:07:56,850 --> 00:07:59,090 Two words, ladyboys. 174 00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:03,130 Are there any in Warrington? Take it from someone recently on the single 175 00:08:03,290 --> 00:08:05,030 there are a lot more than you'd think. 176 00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:10,230 Now, we need some Cheryl ideas, some sort of prank, like, ooh, smash a car 177 00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:13,730 We didn't do lap dancers, lap dancers. Oh, yeah. You can't get Gavin a lap 178 00:08:13,730 --> 00:08:16,690 dancer. He goes red when you just give him a hug. He'll explode. 179 00:08:17,070 --> 00:08:20,690 I don't see you coming up with anything better. Why don't you? Shut up and I'll 180 00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:23,110 come and shut you up. Shut up and I'll shut you up. 181 00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:26,030 What are you doing? 182 00:08:27,270 --> 00:08:28,270 Trying to get your attention. 183 00:08:28,510 --> 00:08:29,590 You were expecting a robot board. 184 00:08:29,950 --> 00:08:32,049 Look, you guys are out of your depth. 185 00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:34,830 I've organised stag and hen do's before in the forces. 186 00:08:35,169 --> 00:08:36,049 Were you in the army? 187 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:36,829 The navy. 188 00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:38,470 Had to leave. I was too effective. 189 00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:40,330 Also, I don't trust water. 190 00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:42,770 Colin is right. We need a stripper. 191 00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:43,959 Thank you. 192 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:44,960 And I've booked the best. 193 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,260 Found him on the dark web. His name's Tustin. He's from Hamburg. 194 00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:49,980 And he does everything. 195 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,800 I mean everything. 196 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,800 This is not a good idea. 197 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,300 Too late, Kit Kat. He's airborne. 198 00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:58,700 Estimated arrival time, 1700 hours. 199 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,060 Also, I'm not taking advice on good ideas from the woman with an imaginary 200 00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,960 boyfriend. Yeah, she's got a point there. 201 00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,300 Daniel is real! 202 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:16,959 What are you doing? 203 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,440 I'll do whatever you want me to do. 204 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,880 Just turn the lights back on for me, please, Heather. 205 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,880 I need you to take down a letter. 206 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:31,080 To head off it. 207 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,020 A letter of resignation. 208 00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:39,910 How'd you get on at the printer? 209 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,990 Hilarious fag T -shirts. Done. 210 00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:46,550 And I managed to get it half price because I said Gavin was dying. 211 00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:47,770 Oh, nice one. 212 00:09:50,330 --> 00:09:51,790 Punch me, I'm a twat. 213 00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:57,650 It's clever and it's interactive because when you wear it, people can punch you. 214 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:58,730 Watch. 215 00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:02,650 It's subtle. It's not like normal fag T -shirts. 216 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,250 Bad news, guys. 217 00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,110 Our strippers have been detained at immigration. 218 00:10:07,150 --> 00:10:09,570 And the things he had in his carry -on were deemed too sexual for the British 219 00:10:09,570 --> 00:10:11,210 Isles. Would have proved. 220 00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,570 It's a shame, because he really is the best. 221 00:10:14,390 --> 00:10:15,670 Anyway, I have to find another stripper. 222 00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:16,970 Katie, you can be standing. 223 00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:19,930 I'm definitely not stripping. You probably won't come to that, but I 224 00:10:19,930 --> 00:10:21,570 doing my job properly if I didn't tell you there's a chance. 225 00:10:21,790 --> 00:10:22,870 You're not doing your job properly. 226 00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:27,230 You're supposed to be a security guard, OK? So no more strippers and no T 227 00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:30,010 -shirts. I am taking charge of the planning from now on. 228 00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:32,710 It's no wonder you're still single. 229 00:10:34,150 --> 00:10:35,570 And for those... 230 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:43,400 18 reasons, and for sub -reasons, I strongly urge that you accept my 231 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:50,280 resignation and reinstate Lou Chettle. Also, Cheryl Fairweather, 232 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:55,280 my lover, knew nothing of my actions. 233 00:10:55,480 --> 00:11:00,460 I regret that I have failed to serve you right. 234 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:05,040 Forever Valco's Gavin Leslie Strong. 235 00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:12,280 So, please, raise your glasses to the bride and groom. 236 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,720 14 minutes, 21 seconds. 237 00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:17,860 Still a tiny bit long. 238 00:11:18,180 --> 00:11:20,780 Do you need that bit about beating your wife at bowling? 239 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,160 She put you up to this? Of course I need that bit. It's vital colour about 240 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,100 married life. I destroyed her! 241 00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:32,020 No, I'll just take out all the stuff about Cheryl. Everyone there will know 242 00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:33,020 anyway. 243 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,200 Are you really sure we need protection? 244 00:11:35,930 --> 00:11:37,270 Me and you on a stag dip. 245 00:11:37,670 --> 00:11:40,550 There's going to be loads of fit birds. And with the chat on us, they're not 246 00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:41,550 going to be able to resist. 247 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,570 True. We do have weapons -grade banter. 248 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,710 BMD, my friend. Banter and mass destruction. 249 00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:48,610 Yeah, of course we're going to need protection. 250 00:11:51,130 --> 00:11:52,470 I just hope that's enough. 251 00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:54,490 Everyone's going to have a plus one for the wedding. 252 00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:56,230 I'll be right billing all mates. 253 00:11:56,510 --> 00:11:57,770 Do you want to stop feeling sorry for yourself? 254 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,430 You did just dump a really, really fit bloke. I don't want to be with Craig. 255 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,290 I want a bloke who likes me. 256 00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:06,220 He worships me like a queen who wakes up every... No, no, no. 257 00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:08,240 What? You don't like Neville. 258 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,319 Oh, no. 259 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:13,440 You just rid yourself of him. I can't help it. I miss him. He's moved on. He's 260 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,780 happy now. Yeah, but isn't my happiness more important than his? 261 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,460 Look, I like Neville, but you've just thrown away a steak, and now you want to 262 00:12:20,460 --> 00:12:24,760 go back to a burger, the world's shittiest burger, in a crappy bun with, 263 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:25,800 dog meat in it. 264 00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:29,320 Yeah, but look at him. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 265 00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:30,860 Ow. 266 00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:35,540 Hi. Where's Gavin? 267 00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:37,260 I don't know. Is this important, Lou? 268 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,580 I just wanted to drop off your wedding present. 269 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:40,820 You really didn't have to. 270 00:12:41,140 --> 00:12:42,620 Oh, yeah, I know. Don't worry. 271 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,320 Only got to pry, though. I just, you know, wanted to give you something. 272 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,119 all. 273 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:52,660 I'm surprised you don't hate us. I mean, I fired you and Gavin hired you to 274 00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:53,660 deliberately fail. 275 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:56,500 Are you kidding me? Gavin is the best boss ever. 276 00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:58,840 He lied to you? 277 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,180 Oh, that's nothing people know all the time. Yeah, he lied to me, his fiancée. 278 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:03,440 Yeah, it doesn't even count. 279 00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:08,520 The point is that Gavin, yeah, he messed up, but he could have sacked me. I 280 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,660 mean, that would have been a lot easier, but instead he risked everything to 281 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:12,619 keep me on. 282 00:13:12,620 --> 00:13:17,800 He's always been stubborn. He's the only person who has ever said to me, I think 283 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,560 you can do this, Lou, and not, what did you do, Lou? 284 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,760 And you ruined this charity shop, Lou. 285 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:30,260 You know, and besides, he's actually, he's made me better at the job. You 286 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:31,920 the takings are much better. 287 00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:35,500 Are they? Yeah, and that's thanks to Gavin teaching me how it all works. See? 288 00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:37,360 Figures really are better. 289 00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:39,740 Gavin also taught me about staggering breaks. 290 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:44,180 See, I was shutting the store for two hours every night just to give the staff 291 00:13:44,180 --> 00:13:47,500 break. You were shutting the store for two hours every night? I know. 292 00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:51,820 It seems like the obvious thing to do, but it turns out it's not. These are all 293 00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:52,699 right figures. 294 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:54,820 Thanks to Gavin. I mean, you even had a rock on. 295 00:13:55,140 --> 00:13:56,140 What? 296 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,040 Do you mean I'm not the worst? 297 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,340 I've never been not the worst in my entire life. 298 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:08,300 Wait, does this mean that I am the best nap manager in the whole entire region? 299 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,340 No, definitely not. 300 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:14,920 How long before... that you put them on? 301 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,820 You're such a newbie to this. Everyone knows you should put them on an hour 302 00:14:19,820 --> 00:14:20,820 before. 303 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:22,880 Right. 304 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,320 Approval needed. 305 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:26,639 Please wait. 306 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:27,640 Oh, dear. 307 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:28,960 What's it this time? 308 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,700 The assistant is coming. 309 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,320 Approval needed. 310 00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:39,200 Cheryl, I want to tell you something. Can I just stop you there? I think it's 311 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,600 only right for you to know that I've just hired a new night manager. 312 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:46,200 Oh. Oh, have you? Oh, thank you. Who is it? Not that tearaway Gavin Yang. 313 00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:49,420 No. Her name is Lou Chettle. 314 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,720 You can't. Head office ordered you to fire her. Yeah, well... 315 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,220 important than head office orders, like keeping the right people on. Well, 316 00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,940 that's all very well, but Lou's a disaster. 317 00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:04,260 Yeah, but she's had a real turnaround, all thanks to you. I mean, she's gone 318 00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:07,380 from being a complete disaster to just a little bit crap. 319 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,860 And tapings -wise, Warrington's doing fine now. 320 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:14,600 How? Well, it turned out she'd be shutting the store for two hours every 321 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:15,780 Kings of Leon! 322 00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:19,880 I know, but then her caring boss stepped in when others would have fired her and 323 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,760 taught her how to do the job properly. 324 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,720 Well, we can't give up on our staff, can we? 325 00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:25,940 We're family. 326 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,420 I should be furious with you, Gavin Strong. 327 00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:32,080 What you did was devious. 328 00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:38,320 It was underhand. But even when you're trying to do something terrible, you 329 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,820 about your staff so much that you can't do it properly. 330 00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:44,910 And that's the man I want to marry. 331 00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:49,670 Oh, no. 332 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:51,869 Now the letter. 333 00:15:51,870 --> 00:15:54,350 Letter? I've just sent to head office the letter of resignation. 334 00:15:54,850 --> 00:15:55,649 What? Why? 335 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:58,330 Well, I was just trying to fix everything. You weren't talking to me. 336 00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:01,450 old Lucy had been fired. And I thought I'd better do the noble thing. Oh, no. 337 00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:03,330 I've just sent Lou off with the post. 338 00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:04,970 What? 339 00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:08,110 Oh, no. Lou. Lou. Where's the post? 340 00:16:08,350 --> 00:16:09,129 My letter. 341 00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:11,150 OK. Don't worry. Oh, thank goodness. 342 00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:12,830 I have posted it already. 343 00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:14,170 Oh, what? 344 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:14,949 Oh, no. 345 00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:20,190 Oh, that's it. I've finished 20 years of Valco down the drain. 346 00:16:20,410 --> 00:16:24,070 No, no, wait, wait, wait. Maybe we can intercept it when the postman comes to 347 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,790 collect. Why don't you just go and pick it out now? I mean, you don't need to 348 00:16:26,790 --> 00:16:27,549 lift the lid. 349 00:16:27,550 --> 00:16:32,510 They're a tiny bit stinky inside, but... Lid? Stinky? Lou, where have you been 350 00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:35,290 putting the post? I've been putting it in a red post bin at the end of the car 351 00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:39,110 park. The one near the dog walk is where that man's putting that little plastic 352 00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:40,110 bag in. 353 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:45,700 Yeah? Lou, have you been putting all Valco's post into the dog poo bin? 354 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:50,280 No, because that is... Yeah. 355 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000 Brilliant. 356 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,980 Brilliant, idiot! 357 00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:04,579 Well, I guess I taught you two a really important lesson about traffic. No, you 358 00:17:04,579 --> 00:17:08,319 didn't. No, I didn't think so. Shall I go and get the post, then? 359 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,260 I'm just so glad things have worked out so right. 360 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:16,380 Think again. 361 00:17:18,890 --> 00:17:19,669 Like a savage. 362 00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:25,349 How do you fancy being part of the most disgusting, most depraved stag and hen 363 00:17:25,349 --> 00:17:26,750 news Warrington has ever seen? 364 00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:31,030 Can I change my shoes? What we planned is so off the scale that it'll make an 365 00:17:31,030 --> 00:17:34,730 orgy look like a kid's tea party. And then Katie gets hold of it and becomes a 366 00:17:34,730 --> 00:17:40,710 massive boring pain in the arse. So instead, welcome to your Valco themed 367 00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:41,710 and hen do. 368 00:17:41,730 --> 00:17:42,730 Woofie. 369 00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:53,110 the old font from the mid -90s Falco signage. Yep, I thought you'd like that. 370 00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:56,790 So, everybody get into your teams. It's girl versus boys and it's the Falco 371 00:17:56,790 --> 00:17:58,410 quiz. Oh, you're going down. 372 00:17:58,830 --> 00:17:59,990 You first, Fairweather. 373 00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:01,250 Yes, Cheryl. 374 00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:02,310 Leave them alone. 375 00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:07,130 Gavin Strong. 376 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,170 It's me. 377 00:18:09,290 --> 00:18:14,410 I just wanted to let you know you don't need to worry. My speech is a cracker. 378 00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:15,470 All right. 379 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,340 Sorry, what on earth are you talking about? 380 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:18,560 My best man speech. 381 00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:21,860 You haven't forgotten you're getting married, have you? No, no, but you're 382 00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:24,560 my best man, are you? My friend Jerome from the cycling club. 383 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,620 Why would you choose him over me? 384 00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:30,700 Because I know him personally and we are friends. 385 00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:34,660 No, I tell you what, you go with Jeremy. 386 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:36,660 Jerome. You have my consent. 387 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:39,800 Well, I absolutely don't need that, but thank you, Brian. And since I'm not 388 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,580 doing the speech, I'll just do the song. 389 00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:47,430 So we've not got any protection, so we're just going to have to try not to 390 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,650 laid. But look at us. We're bound to get laid. 391 00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:51,050 I know. I know it'll be difficult. 392 00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:54,050 The birds are going to be all over us, but we can't go all the way with them, 393 00:18:54,070 --> 00:18:55,210 yeah? Right. 394 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:56,769 Stag time. 395 00:18:56,770 --> 00:18:58,350 Let's do this. Watch out, birds. 396 00:18:58,630 --> 00:18:59,630 Incoming legends. 397 00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:05,270 Stag, stag, stag, stag, stag, stag. Right, next question is, in what year 398 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,230 Balco Warrington officially opened? 399 00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:09,730 I just need to do a quick search, James. Next one. 400 00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:11,010 What range? 401 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:15,600 Next, 402 00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:20,240 I need Cheryl and Gavin to put your blindfolds on. 403 00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:24,760 Next round is feel the area manager. 404 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:26,080 I 405 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:33,360 like 406 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:34,360 your T -shirt. 407 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:37,440 Thanks, I like to work amazing buns from my clothes. 408 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,260 I get all my T -shirts from Next. 409 00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,980 Don't tell my mum that, though. She'd totally think I'd still go to Marks and 410 00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:46,560 Spencer. As if, Mum! 411 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,300 I'm going to tell him I want to go back together. 412 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,340 Don't do it. What if he says yes? 413 00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:54,980 Ooh. 414 00:19:55,140 --> 00:19:56,300 Bit of glass in there. 415 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:57,600 Yes. 416 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000 Linda! 417 00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:02,060 Romantic, this, isn't it? Oh, it certainly is. 418 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:06,080 You know, this is exactly the sort of occasion where previously I would have 419 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,980 made a complete wally of myself and proposed to you. 420 00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:10,340 Yeah. 421 00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:12,880 I want to thank you for breaking up with me. 422 00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:16,940 Yeah, well, maybe I was being a bit hasty. I was very kind, but you don't 423 00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,060 to give me the sympathy vote. 424 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:22,460 No, you breaking up with me was the best thing for both of us. If you hadn't, 425 00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:23,620 I'd have never met Meg. 426 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,420 She really is super. 427 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:27,920 Yeah. 428 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:34,940 Um, no, we had something really special, and I think, uh... I hope 429 00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:36,360 that you and Meg have something special, too. 430 00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:39,100 Thanks, mate. 431 00:20:42,379 --> 00:20:43,379 More glass. 432 00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:44,880 Very thick brows. 433 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,260 Wait, I know those. 434 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,820 Is it Richard Flowers? 435 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,360 Yes, yes it is. 436 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,060 Oh, no, no, no. 437 00:20:53,260 --> 00:20:55,520 Right, OK, enough, enough. 438 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,860 Do you know what? We pay for a babysitter. We're not wasting our money 439 00:20:58,860 --> 00:20:59,860 boring shit. 440 00:21:00,020 --> 00:21:01,020 No offence, Katie. 441 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,060 Yeah, quiz is over. 442 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,520 You're having a proper stagnant. 443 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,260 We're going to get you both wasted. Who's with me? 444 00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:08,860 God, yes. 445 00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:19,860 A shandy's can't hurt, surely. 446 00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:22,820 Oh, what the ruddy heck. It's only a few drinks in the can, too. 447 00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:26,440 Yeah, I mean, even with Colin and Lisa, I mean, how out of hand can it get? 448 00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:28,740 Sarge! 449 00:21:54,860 --> 00:21:55,940 Where are my pubes? 35311

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