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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000 Heard something. 2 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:02,540 I think you should just stop that now. 3 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:04,280 Oh, he keeps on moving it. 4 00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:07,080 Valko! From booze to biscuits. 5 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:08,459 Red hot tails. 6 00:00:08,460 --> 00:00:12,300 Load to two for one. Friendly staff, always happy to help. Am I getting paid 7 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,560 this? From chub to chops. 8 00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:15,400 Don't forget the Valko tick. 9 00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:17,860 Everyone always gets it wrong, it's definitely that way. Tick. 10 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,280 Tick. Serves you right. 11 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,000 Valko serves you right. 12 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,240 Whatever. 13 00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:31,990 It really is a wonderful display here, Heather. Can you just talk me through 14 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:32,989 your strategy? 15 00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:37,090 Say our product must be arranged with bright primary colours to the fore to 16 00:00:37,090 --> 00:00:38,750 collapse the eye of the passing consumer. 17 00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:40,810 The rainbow retail method. 18 00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:43,830 I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. 19 00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:46,110 I got the idea from the Valcom manager's handbook. 20 00:00:46,890 --> 00:00:50,330 Oh, I didn't know we were giving out management handbooks to staff. I took 21 00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:51,670 from your bedside table when you were asleep. 22 00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:54,210 You what? 23 00:00:55,550 --> 00:00:58,570 Oh, very good. Yeah, I'll be going there for a minute. 24 00:01:01,790 --> 00:01:02,790 Got you. 25 00:01:03,350 --> 00:01:04,229 Yep, you did. 26 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:08,030 So I have finished moving all of the dairy free. I'll have the gluten free 27 00:01:08,030 --> 00:01:10,930 done by the end of the day. Because I know how you like it when I do exactly 28 00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:11,930 what you've asked. 29 00:01:12,350 --> 00:01:13,350 Okay, thanks. 30 00:01:13,470 --> 00:01:15,010 Then we can get away in time for Daddy's party. 31 00:01:15,870 --> 00:01:18,430 Oh, by the way, don't forget your swimming trunks. I thought it was black 32 00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:21,310 Yeah, it is. Until Daddy gets drunk and ends up in the swimming pool. 33 00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:22,590 Uh -oh. 34 00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:27,040 And if he holds your head under the water for ages, do not cry, because 35 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,040 only do it again. 36 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:32,160 Oh, lucky man there, Daniel. You know, I've never been invited to one of 37 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,780 O 'Connor's legendary parties, you know. 38 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,260 Every year I wait, but that golden fact, it never arrives. 39 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,780 Better get my trunks then, I suppose. 40 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:42,500 Oh, no, cheer up, Daniel, no. 41 00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:48,020 An invite to the O 'Connor mansion, you know, you'll be on the Valco board in 42 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,020 next to no time. 43 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,440 Heather, what are you doing? 44 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,260 I saw Charlie do it. I thought that's what they were supposed to do. 45 00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:03,100 No, it's not. 46 00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:04,700 Oh, sorry. 47 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,120 OK, you can move your hand now. 48 00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:11,480 I'm doing a bit round for Sue's birthday. 49 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,760 Oh, to be in my 30s again. 50 00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,260 No, that's Linda. This is for Sue. 51 00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:19,700 Oh, I always get them to muddle. Sue's got dark hair and Linda's blonde and 52 00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:21,500 out with Neville. She goes out with Neville? 53 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,140 Now you're pulling my leg. 54 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:28,120 Oh. Sorry, Neville. No, no, it's fine. I get it all the time. 55 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,220 Do you know, I never know what to write on cards. 56 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,700 Brian, do you want to... Before you ask, I won't be signing that. I can't put my 57 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,560 name on anything but a medical prescription. 58 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:39,020 It's only a birthday card. 59 00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:43,340 What happens when someone gets hold of it and puts 200 milligrams of methadone 60 00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:47,140 next to my signature? Pretty soon that only a birthday card becomes a blank 61 00:02:47,140 --> 00:02:50,830 check for a junkie. Has that ever happened? No, because I don't sign 62 00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:55,290 cards or Christmas cards, bereavement cards if I have to, but then I insist on 63 00:02:55,290 --> 00:02:56,650 the card being buried with the body. 64 00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:58,390 Oh, come on, Margaret, think. 65 00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:02,550 Why don't you just put, happy birthday to you, love from Margaret. 66 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,470 You are funny, Katie. 67 00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:07,130 Now, don't rush me. 68 00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:14,570 Morning, Gavin. 69 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,360 Oh, good morning there, Cheryl, and how are you today? 70 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,920 To be honest, I'm a bit discombobulated. I've just noticed that I'm wearing my 71 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:23,140 Friday blouse, and it's actually Thursday. 72 00:03:23,540 --> 00:03:26,900 Well, you know, I know exactly how you feel. Yesterday, I wore my Tuesday tie, 73 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,340 and it was, in fact... Wednesday! 74 00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:30,500 And it really was! 75 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:36,780 Anyway, now that the war between us is over and we've ceased hostilities... Lay 76 00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:38,240 down our arms. Withdrawn our tanks. 77 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:42,240 Notify the United Nations of... What? 78 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,279 You get the idea. 79 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,700 So, what were you saying? In the spirit of our truce, I just thought I'd pop 80 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:50,660 over and let you know that we're starting a car -washing service next 81 00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:53,720 Oh, well, that should be fine, as long as we don't get any of the residue. 82 00:03:54,380 --> 00:03:56,160 Right. Better get on. Yes, yes. 83 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,980 Oh, these blasted wheels. 84 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,000 Oh, stand aside. 85 00:04:02,220 --> 00:04:05,400 I am a dab plumb with a wayward wheel. 86 00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:07,060 Now. 87 00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:11,750 Oh, now that is the time for sore eyes. 88 00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:13,870 Gavin, what's wrong? 89 00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:18,110 Oh, dear God, no, I meant the wheel arch going into the housing. 90 00:04:18,470 --> 00:04:19,470 Of course you did. 91 00:04:20,269 --> 00:04:22,310 Oh, God! Oh, Gavin! 92 00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:26,990 Hiya. Hiya. 93 00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:28,470 Oh, God. 94 00:04:28,570 --> 00:04:32,330 Well, anything you want to say? Yeah, last night was too funny. 95 00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:35,610 I mean, I've got totally hammered. I meant anything about today. 96 00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:38,970 I passed out, spread eagles on the bed and poured never to sleep in the bath. 97 00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:42,150 Do you know what he said to me? That today is a special day for a certain 98 00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,390 someone. Every day with me is like a gift. 99 00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:47,290 Like a gift you might give someone on their birthday? 100 00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,230 Suzanne, he's got a weird metal taste to it. I think he's off. 101 00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:55,830 Oh, I do apologise, madam. I'll sort you out a refund right away. 102 00:04:56,610 --> 00:04:58,850 You sometimes get a metal taste in your mouth when you're pregnant. 103 00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:00,970 I'm not pregnant. 104 00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:03,429 I know. 105 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:04,630 I was just saying. 106 00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:11,850 It's one of them days, mate. One of them special days you only get once a year. 107 00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:13,510 Yeah, that's what I meant. 108 00:05:14,950 --> 00:05:15,950 Unbelievable. 109 00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:21,370 Woo! Daddy just rang. The paddling pool has arrived. 110 00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:24,810 I thought you had a full -size swimming pool. Yeah, this is for the mud 111 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,890 wrestling. He wants you and him to try it out before the party. 112 00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:29,790 But your dad wants me to wrestle with him in the mud. 113 00:05:30,190 --> 00:05:32,490 Yes, he must really, really like you. 114 00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:34,210 Oh. Oh. 115 00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:35,810 Oi, Ned! 116 00:05:35,870 --> 00:05:36,870 Yeah, Cole? 117 00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:42,420 Right. Do you know what I'd do if I was, uh, with the boss's daughter? 118 00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:43,740 Ooh, take her out to supper. 119 00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:47,700 No. Uh, visit a National Trust property. Do you want to shut up, Neville? 120 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,840 Right, gentlemen, here are your rotas for next week. 121 00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:51,900 Any problems, just let me know. 122 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,360 Right, do you know what I'd do if I was, uh, going out with the boss's daughter? 123 00:05:55,800 --> 00:06:00,740 I would, um, I'd have a hammock in Gavin's office. Uh, I'd have a desk. 124 00:06:01,150 --> 00:06:02,870 Made out of monster munch. 125 00:06:03,350 --> 00:06:07,450 Yeah, well, I'm not you, and I don't need anything from Charlie's dad. 126 00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:12,050 Oh, all right, yeah. Or what, you're going out with Charlie for a good looks 127 00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:13,050 a winning personality? 128 00:06:13,630 --> 00:06:15,770 Yeah. What a personality it is. 129 00:06:16,190 --> 00:06:18,430 Will the both of you just get back to work, please? 130 00:06:18,810 --> 00:06:21,770 So we're having a whip round for Sue's birthday. Do you want to sign the card 131 00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:22,770 and add it to the collection? 132 00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:25,510 I'm a bit busy now, but I'll do it later, though. All right. 133 00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:26,750 Happy to sign. 134 00:06:27,170 --> 00:06:28,170 Contribute on. 135 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,720 Put the fiver back, Colin. 136 00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:39,680 And the other one. Oh, for God's... Thank you. 137 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:44,740 I'm so sorry again, Gavin. I don't know my own strength sometimes. 138 00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:46,460 I've got arms like a docker. 139 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,480 It's all those years of lifting crates. They do say that a supermarket 140 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:54,890 manager... has the muscle tension of an Olympic rower. Well, it's played havoc 141 00:06:54,890 --> 00:06:56,930 with my hands. Got skin like sandpaper. 142 00:06:57,210 --> 00:07:01,350 Oh, nonsense. You've got the skin of a woman at least one, possibly two years 143 00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:02,670 younger than you actually are. 144 00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:05,870 Oh, what a lovely thing to say. 145 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,050 I can see you're making a compression wrap using the figure -of -eight 146 00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:11,050 technique. 147 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:14,230 St John Ambulance Residential Court of Runcorn. 148 00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:21,550 1997. That was the golden year for first aid. I was a class of 99. To be honest, 149 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,830 we were always in your shadow. Do you remember I? 150 00:07:25,370 --> 00:07:28,410 Rest, ice, compression, elevation. 151 00:07:29,670 --> 00:07:31,650 That's in my top five acronyms, that. 152 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:33,550 Oh! 153 00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:35,710 Tanita Ticarum! 154 00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:40,070 What? There's nothing I'd feel like that myself sometimes. 155 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:43,290 Well, I... I guess we're both... 156 00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:45,340 Passionate people. 157 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:51,420 You should use the Pro -Pax gauze to wrap around the tendons. 158 00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:55,160 Oh, God, 159 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,479 I can't believe I forgot. 160 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,020 Finally. I need to buy a spare thief pushing some air spray. 161 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,840 Neville's given me a jar at his place. 162 00:08:08,180 --> 00:08:09,820 I feel damn mean, though, cos he's only got one jar. 163 00:08:10,430 --> 00:08:13,070 Trez will keep his stuff on the draining board. He already uses that as a 164 00:08:13,070 --> 00:08:14,069 bedside table. 165 00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:15,950 I can't believe you've forgotten. 166 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,610 It's all right. I'll buy it all at lunch. 167 00:08:18,110 --> 00:08:19,069 Excuse me. 168 00:08:19,070 --> 00:08:20,550 You know the Velcro lasagna? 169 00:08:20,990 --> 00:08:23,710 Yeah. Is it meant to have bees in it? 170 00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:32,169 It looks like flakes of metal must have come off the machine in the factory. 171 00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:34,730 You know what this means, Daniel? 172 00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:36,049 Product recall. 173 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,690 Then we have no other option but to open the emergency folder. 174 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:46,880 Go to the section marked Catastrophic Stroke Alarming Situations. 175 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:51,240 Daniel, if you're reading this, then I have been involved in a fatal accident, 176 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:55,200 natural disaster, or I'm on annual leave. Page 37, yellow tab. 177 00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:58,460 Product recall. Right, got it. 178 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,580 I'll get cracking on this. Are you going to be okay here? 179 00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:04,100 I suppose you think so. You know, you have to hand it to Cheryl. The 180 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:08,500 craftsmanship on this bandage is second to none. She really is a marvel. 181 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,940 Well, the good news is only two units of the dodgy lasagna have been sold. 182 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:13,900 I'll get the rest off the shelves. 183 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,160 And I'll phone Cheryl. 184 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,760 Cheryl? No, I mean head Cheryl. I mean head office. 185 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:20,140 Slip of the tongue. 186 00:09:24,220 --> 00:09:25,680 Oh, what, all of them? 187 00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:29,800 Every single one of them. We need to leave them in the loading bay exit for 188 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,800 office to collect. But after that, I have to go and pick up the cake for 189 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,680 party. It's got this massive photo in the middle. 190 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,160 Oh, let me guess. Him. No, imagine. 191 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,520 Of you? 192 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,340 Hello, Daniel Wilson. 193 00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:47,780 Ah, Mrs Edmonds, thank you for calling back. 194 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,640 Yeah, it's just I noticed from your royalty card that you bought a box of 195 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,160 Valco's own lasagna today. 196 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,500 Okay, you finish up here. I need to deal with this. Yeah, okay. 197 00:09:56,340 --> 00:09:58,540 Yeah, let me get a pen and I'll take his number. 198 00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:01,540 Hello? Oh, brilliant. 199 00:10:01,740 --> 00:10:03,200 Yes, I'll be out in a minute. Thank you. 200 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,080 Heather? 201 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:12,910 Yes, Miss Falco? My car has arrived, so I need you to do something for me. It'll 202 00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:13,910 be an honour, Miss Falco. 203 00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:15,290 Oh. 204 00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:17,650 Any inspiration yet, Margaret? 205 00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:20,630 Oh, no, Kate, love, I still can't think of anything. 206 00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:22,570 Ah, writer's block. 207 00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:27,150 Poison to the creative mind. It sometimes visits me when I'm writing for 208 00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:31,350 Pharmacist Monthly. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I hope Brian doesn't 209 00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:34,910 on about Pharmacist Monthly. Why didn't they print my last article? 210 00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:38,490 Factual errors made by the artist formerly known as Prince. 211 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:39,890 Quick as you can, Margaret. 212 00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:42,690 Number one, doves do not cry. 213 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:45,690 Just think of anything. What is the first thing that comes into your head? 214 00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:50,690 Supermarket. Number two, purple rain is not... Will you just let Margaret think? 215 00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:55,600 Oh! Maybe I should draw a great big cactus like Collingsdon. 216 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,840 That's not a cactus. 217 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:06,060 Put them by the exit of the collection by head office. 218 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,700 Put them by the exit of the collection by head office. 219 00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:29,089 Come in. 220 00:11:29,090 --> 00:11:30,090 Only me. 221 00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:32,210 How are you feeling? 222 00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:36,190 Oh, my earlobes are pulsating from the slightly raised blood pressure, but 223 00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:37,590 from that, I'm pretty comfortable, actually. 224 00:11:37,850 --> 00:11:38,649 Oh, good. 225 00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:43,770 Well, I assumed you wouldn't make it down to the canteen, so I brought you 226 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:46,150 something from our deli. Oh, how very kind. 227 00:11:46,570 --> 00:11:47,469 Ta -da. 228 00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:51,370 That is a magnificent quiche, Lorraine. It's Cheryl, actually. 229 00:11:51,690 --> 00:11:52,690 Oh! 230 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,570 Come on, out you get. 231 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:58,880 Oh, there we go. There you are. 232 00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:01,440 There we go. I've got you. Does it hurt? 233 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,920 No, your bandage is first rate. It really is. 234 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,300 Here. 235 00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:10,880 We're in a bit of a pickle. 236 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:12,940 Yes, aren't we? 237 00:12:19,420 --> 00:12:20,820 Are those keys in your back pocket? 238 00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:24,040 Oh, yeah. I think they are. You're digging into my thigh bone. 239 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:30,639 Where have you been? 240 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,320 I told you, I went to the shop to get the cake. Don't worry, I cancelled it. I 241 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,320 got these penguins instead. 242 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,100 Why aren't the lasagnas in the loading bay like I asked? 243 00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:39,660 Heather. 244 00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:41,900 Heather? Yes, Miss Falcon? 245 00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:45,340 Why aren't the lasagnas in the loading bay like I asked? 246 00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:47,880 Why would they be in the loading bay like I asked? 247 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,940 You put the lasagna containing metal flakes underneath the sign saying 248 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,040 everything must go. 249 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,400 I sure did. 250 00:12:57,630 --> 00:12:59,090 Don't mind if I do. 251 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:03,790 Yes, money's a bit tight this month, so... They're contaminated now. Right, 252 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,790 right. As I say, money's a bit tight. 253 00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,050 Just get back to work. 254 00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:11,230 You're the boss, and might I say... Now! 255 00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:14,770 I'm very, very, very sorry. 256 00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:19,310 It's OK, Heather, it's not your fault. No, it's society's fault. No, it's 257 00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:21,350 You should have done as I asked. It was a total nightmare. 258 00:13:21,910 --> 00:13:23,350 Would now be a good time? 259 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,630 No, it wouldn't, Heather. 260 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,840 Just chill your boots, Danny boy. I'll sort it out. 261 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:31,180 Who are you ringing? My dad. He's brilliant in these sort of situations. 262 00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:34,620 time, I crashed my car into an ambulance. You can't just ring your dad 263 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:37,520 time something goes wrong. You have to take responsibility for yourself. I sent 264 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,480 the paramedics some flowers. 265 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:41,580 Well, Daddy's PA did, but still. 266 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:43,460 Forget it. I'll do this myself. 267 00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:45,700 I don't need anyone's help, least of all your dad's. 268 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:53,640 Thank you, Heather. It's actually quite relaxing. 269 00:13:56,750 --> 00:14:00,330 Right, Margaret, I'm going to give you ten seconds to sign Sue's birthday card. 270 00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:01,990 Otherwise, I'm going to sign it for you. 271 00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:04,490 Technically, that's illegal. It's identity theft. 272 00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:08,530 Ten, nine... What's the name of that fella? The funny one with the hair. 273 00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:09,950 Ken Dodd? 274 00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:11,790 Nicholas Whitchell, that's it. 275 00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:13,510 What's he got to do with the card? 276 00:14:13,830 --> 00:14:14,649 Oh, nothing. 277 00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:18,490 It's just that my mind wanders when I'm under pressure. Margaret, do you want to 278 00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:19,490 sign the card or not? 279 00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:22,150 I know exactly what I'm going to put inside. 280 00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:31,330 It's not my birthday. I told you, Margaret, it's Sue's birthday, not 281 00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:33,050 Oh, God, it's Sue's birthday. 282 00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:36,090 Oh. Better start again. 283 00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:39,130 Well, you won the sale, too. 284 00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:41,070 Yeah, I've just got Port 86. 285 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:45,210 Back then, you had to key in the prices. None of this scanning lark. 286 00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:50,730 Cashiers today, they don't know the ball. I used to be 90kpm. 287 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:54,210 90 keys per minute? Talk about Speedy Gonzales. 288 00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:57,030 I mean, Speedy Tillsales. 289 00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:01,410 My manager used to call me that and big boobs. 290 00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:08,490 No, that really is completely inappropriate. 291 00:15:10,770 --> 00:15:15,970 My wife, Barbara, she used to say jinx every time we spoke at the same time. It 292 00:15:15,970 --> 00:15:19,670 was so funny. I wasn't allowed to speak until she said my name three times. 293 00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:23,590 Sometimes I'd spend entire weekends in silence. 294 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:28,230 I've never thought of myself as the marrying type, but recently... 295 00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:31,440 I'm beginning to wonder that maybe I just haven't found the one. 296 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,220 Well, I'd best get back to work. 297 00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:40,540 I could always pop back later, if you like. Give you a lift home? No, no, one 298 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,540 won't put you to any bother. No, no, no, I don't mind. I'd like to. 299 00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:46,860 Unless, of course, you feel that it's inappropriate. 300 00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,820 No, no, why would I think it's inappropriate? 301 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:53,520 No, no, all we have is a healthy mutual respect for retail. 302 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,540 Nothing more, at least as far as I'm concerned. 303 00:15:58,700 --> 00:16:00,240 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. 304 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:01,660 Me too. 305 00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:05,240 Reminds me of a funny story I was listening to. I'm going to get back to 306 00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,020 I'm so sorry, mate. 307 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,080 I totally forgot it was your birthday. 308 00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:18,860 See, I can do it. 309 00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:22,380 And I booked you in for a massage after work. Not yet. 310 00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:24,180 Come here. 311 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,360 I'm so sorry. 312 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,880 How about we go for some birty drinks afterwards? 313 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:34,580 On us. On? Yeah, that's our treat. Well, Linda's. 314 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:38,960 The cash machine ate my card, so... Maybe you should stay home, then and 315 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:39,960 Linda a bit of cash. 316 00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:41,260 No, no, no, I insist. 317 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,260 After all, you're only 61. 318 00:16:44,620 --> 00:16:45,620 I'm 52. 319 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:52,040 No, Mr Collins, loyalty cards are not for spying. 320 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,840 They're to help us know what our customers like, so we can serve you 321 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,760 Yeah, and in this instance, it's helped us identify that you bought some of 322 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:02,820 Valco's own brand lasagna. 323 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,040 Yeah, and like I said, if you just bring it back at your convenience, you'll get 324 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:06,858 a full refund. 325 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:07,859 Okay, thank you. 326 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:09,140 What are you doing? 327 00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:10,420 I'm taking responsibility. 328 00:17:10,819 --> 00:17:11,819 It's a metal detector. 329 00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:13,140 Yeah, I know what it is. 330 00:17:13,460 --> 00:17:19,660 I thought I could help you detect who's eaten the metal lasagna. 331 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:22,500 You don't like my idea, do you? 332 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,380 Charlie, I've got another 33 customers to get through. I've really got to go. 333 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:27,780 Sorry. 334 00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:30,510 Oh, hello. 335 00:17:31,730 --> 00:17:32,730 Here you go, sir. 336 00:17:33,690 --> 00:17:35,410 Have a guess what Neville's the sex adult. 337 00:17:35,690 --> 00:17:37,570 Your manager said I should get a refund on this. 338 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,250 Yes, madam, no problem at all. 339 00:17:40,430 --> 00:17:42,890 Do you know what, Linda? I'm sick of this. I'm sick of Neville. 340 00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:46,430 Sorry about this, my dear. Neville this, Neville that. Neville, sorry, Neville. 341 00:17:46,470 --> 00:17:49,630 It's like he's always here. Well, not always. You're out of order, she is. 342 00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:53,690 Maybe I'm out of order, but maybe I hurt you because my so -called best mate 343 00:17:53,690 --> 00:17:55,550 forgot it's my birthday today. She never. 344 00:17:55,930 --> 00:17:56,930 I said I was sorry. 345 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:03,230 All you care about is you and Neville and the rest of us can go to hell. You 346 00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:05,850 a selfish cow. You take that back. I will not. 347 00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:07,090 Happy birthday, Sue. 348 00:18:07,370 --> 00:18:08,710 And many more. 349 00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:10,250 Shut up, Neville. 350 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:13,550 So if you just bring the lasagna in at your convenience, you'll get a full 351 00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:14,550 refund. 352 00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:18,010 No, I can't pop around and deliver it. 353 00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:20,710 Okay. Okay, bye. 354 00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:23,710 Has everyone contacted? 355 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,640 Oh, good. Now get your coat and you can change your mind because Daddy has been 356 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,380 waiting for us for the last hour and a half and he is freezing in that mud 357 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,600 Charlie, I... I don't think this is going to work. 358 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,480 What? No, we're great together. 359 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,400 Oh, God! 360 00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,160 You mean the metal detector. 361 00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:43,800 Oh, my God, thank God. I thought you meant us. 362 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,440 Oh, 363 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000 you did. 364 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,580 Look, I think you're fantastic and... 365 00:18:51,649 --> 00:18:55,430 It's just working together and going out together is a bit much. 366 00:18:55,910 --> 00:18:57,890 I think we should just be friends. 367 00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:00,030 Right, yeah, OK. 368 00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:01,230 I'm so sorry. 369 00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:02,650 It's fine. 370 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:04,410 Hey, don't cry. 371 00:19:04,730 --> 00:19:10,210 No, it's just that I'm just upset with my dad, you know, because he really 372 00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:16,270 you and he's going to miss you. And, you know, he's going to miss waking up 373 00:19:16,270 --> 00:19:20,030 beside you in the morning, using your hair dryer and going to work together. 374 00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:26,100 I'm going to miss your dad, too. 375 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:28,640 Really? 376 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,080 Really. 377 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,080 Hey, come here. 378 00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:43,180 A bit better? Yep. 379 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,000 Right, well, I'll see you tomorrow, then. 380 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,439 Hi, Cheryl. 381 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,980 Listen, I'm so, so sorry about earlier on. 382 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:04,800 I was wondering if you'd do me the honour of coming to dinner with me 383 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,540 No, that's just far too formal. 384 00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:13,220 Hey, Cheryl, what do you say about coming to dinner? That's just far too 385 00:20:13,220 --> 00:20:14,220 aggressive. 386 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,740 Cheryl, would you like to come to dinner? 387 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,700 There's a nice little Italian on the high street. 388 00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:29,490 to sign Sue's card? 389 00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:31,610 Yeah. Sue's left for the day. 390 00:20:31,850 --> 00:20:33,310 Oh, what a shame. 391 00:20:33,930 --> 00:20:37,990 Oh, and I thought of something so funny. I've written it down to remind me. 392 00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:39,690 Look at this. 393 00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,350 Margaret, that's really funny. 394 00:20:44,550 --> 00:20:45,730 Oh, very good. 395 00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:50,270 That's actually really dark. It really is. 396 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:04,720 Pressure on there. 397 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,420 Compress and elevate that later, won't we? 398 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:11,960 Yes. 32435

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