Original subtitles

Thank you.

Stuff's here, all right.

Let me know if there's any sign of the opposition.

Tenman.

What?

What is it? I'm coming.

No, it was nothing no one coming no

one

Melville! Why?

Why didn't you warn me?

Seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

My game, I think.

Steve, you've just won the last 20 games.

Yes, I have, haven't I?

It's not that I don't trust you.

No, no, of course not.

It's just that I think such good fortune ought to be shared.

Of course.

Yeah?

Oh, Mother.

Yeah, it's right away.

Very sorry, I've got to go.

Mother, eh?

Yes, I might have guessed.

Why's that?

It's Mother's Day.

It's Mother's Day.

What do you mean pull up?

Room for one more?

Could we dispense with the jokes this morning? Thank you, Steve.

Oh, Rhonda, I'll have one of those.

I'm very sorry. Trouble in Botswana?

Trouble in abdomen.

Too many oysters.

I'm surrounded by incompetence.

In general or in particular?

Both. That's why I have to involve you in a case that a child of two could have

sewn up in half an hour.

Who's the fly in your ointment? Melville.

Melville? I thought he was your blue -eyed boy.

He was.

What happened?

I wish I knew.

Ever since he started work on the Edgefield case, the whole thing's become

nightmare.

Department's losing agents and I'm losing sleep. What's the Edgefield case?

Three months ago, Sir Joseph asked us to compile a dossier on Lord Edgefield.

Now, our investigations have confirmed that he has a long record of extortion

and blackmail, mostly directed against security and foreign service personnel.

Now, we have a witness prepared to give evidence against him, but we needed

conclusive proof.

And you assigned Melville to get it?

Yes, perfectly straightforward operation, I should have thought.

But so far, the balance sheet reads gains nil, losses two men.

Last night, I sent him out again, and if past experience has anything to go by,

he'll return empty -handed and alone.

He was working with a partner?

Oh, naturally.

Who? Penman.

Look outside.

It has been... One...

Day... Other... One and but one.

Now they'll... Now they'll... Try to...

There's something very odd about this case, Steve.

You're taking Melville off it? No.

Why not?

I want you to work together, finish the job, but at the same time, keep an eye

on him.

Both eyes, Steve.

Well, any luck?

No. No photographs?

Nothing. No book?

Wasn't there. Where's Penman? He's gone home.

Is he all right?

As far as I know.

It's a good thing we've still got Plummer.

Who's Plummer? A star witness.

They look as if we're going to have to depend entirely on him.

Sir Joseph's called a meeting this morning with Lord Edgeworth and Plummer

.30, in which the whole case will be reviewed.

The whole case resting at the moment on the evidence of one man.

Precisely. So you'd better get over there and look after him.

His market value's just risen 100%. Right. Oh, and Steve, take Melville with

you. He's expecting you both.

Cuff!

Someone in my kitchen.

Frightened him off to have been on the power escape.

Maybe he thought you kept your jewellery on ice.

Nothing missing?

Not as far as I can see.

Anything here that shouldn't be here?

No. Except this.

What's inside of it?

Plucky, but from the wrong side of a hill.

I gather you've had personal experience of the way that Edgefield operates.

That's one way of putting it.

He was responsible for my brother's suicide.

Can you prove it?

Jack, tell me what Edgefield said to him.

And I have his cancelled cheque for the year before he died.

What do they show?

Blackmail.

He paid Edgefield a total of £10 ,000 over that period.

What department did he work in? Security.

Missile division.

And the question is, what else did he give him?

Maybe it's even more urgent to get Edgefield behind bars.

Don't worry.

It won't be long now.

You're certain the case is now watertight, Steve? No loopholes? Quite

Those checks speak for themselves.

Only if there were no legitimate reason for that payment.

Well, there wasn't. Plummer's brother told him that Edgefield was blackmailing

him.

Good.

Good. That makes it pretty conclusive.

Now, we should want you to be as specific as possible, Mr. Plummer. Don't

him room to maneuver.

We want the exact dates.

He's here already.

I'm making a recording of this historic interview.

Come in.

Lord Edgefield, Sir Joseph.

Well, well, well.

The vultures are gathering at the end.

Good morning, Edgefield.

Mr. Steed.

My lord.

Melville.

Mr. Plummer, I believe you know.

Yes, indeed.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother, Plummer.

Do sit down.

Thank you.

Before we begin, Sir Joseph, I should like to make one thing quite clear.

Damages for defamation of character, in my case, could be punitive.

Yes, I'm well aware of that.

However, I am assured that the charges about to be brought against you can be

substantiated.

Mr. Plummer, I believe you attribute your brother's death directly to the

that he was being blackmailed by Lord Edgefield. Now, can you prove these

allegations?

Mr. Plummer, would you tell us, please, in your own words, of course, about the

conversation that you overheard between your brother and Lord Edgefield?

Come on, Plummer, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Seems your little bird is reluctant to sing.

Were you or were you not present during that conversation?

No. Well, let me rephrase the question.

Have you any reason to believe that your brother's association with Lord

Edgefield was a contributory factor to his suicide? This is outrageous.

You're putting words into his mouth. I am simply repeating what he said in his

original statement.

Was Lord Edgefield responsible for your brother's death?

No.

Well, did you not at one time hold such an opinion?

No. Only an hour or so ago... Just a minute, please. Just a minute.

Am I to take it, then, that you have no charges to bring against Lord Edgefield?

No.

I take it I may go.

Yes.

Good day, gentlemen.

Thank you, Mr. Plummer. You may go, too.

You've got a visitor.

Anyone I know?

I'm afraid so.

Penman.

When did he arrive?

Soon after you left.

Did he say anything?

He told me to look in the dustbin.

Which you've been doing.

What for?

That, I suppose.

Interesting. He said something else.

He said I should warn you and Mother.

What about it?

That Melville's a traitor.

We needn't have bothered.

Why? It's self -evident. Melville said they didn't get the films.

Yet here they are.

This is an unexpected development.

Underexposed? There are two possibilities.

Either he generally didn't know that Penman got the photographs.

Or it's a deliberate lie to turn the Edgefield interview into a fiasco.

We have to know which. Now, there's only one way to be sure. I want you to...

You want me to partner Melville in an assignment.

At the same time, you can find out what he's up to.

Kill two birds with one stone.

Wrong number.

It says request stop.

We're refusing your request.

This is asking for trouble, Mother.

We have to be certain the security of the department's at stake.

And Steed's life?

He'll be all right.

Forewarned is forearmed. Not against a knife in the back.

There must be another way.

Can you think of one?

No. Exactly. Well, I still think it's an unnecessary risk.

Take your mind off it. How?

Pay Plummer a visit. See if you can find out why he changed his testimony.

All right.

And Tara?

Yes, Mother?

I shouldn't worry too much about Steed.

He usually knows what he's up to.

Be clever.

Seems you're a woman's best friend as well.

Now, the trouble with you, Susie, is you're a liar.

No reply.

Yes.

Melville, everything still clear?

Yes.

Put it away, Rachel. Very good, sir.

Thank you.

For services not rendered.

What do you mean?

Get up.

Why did you tell me that Edgefield hadn't come back when you knew perfectly

that he had?

I didn't. I asked you if there was any sign of him. You said no.

I said yes.

You've been doing this for some time, haven't you?

What?

You've been feeding false information to your partners.

I have never given them false information in my life.

Three of them are dead.

They're not.

Get back in the car.

Where are we going?

To headquarters.

Why? To make a little test.

Any to be nervous, Mr. Melville?

The lie detector test is mainly for the purpose of exonerating innocent people.

Get on with it, then.

Quite.

Father?

Were you telling the truth when you said that you and Penman failed to get the

photographs?

Yes. Were you telling the truth when you said that Penman wasn't hurt?

Yes.

Have you been feeding false information to your fellow agents?

No. Well, all those answers were true.

Are you sure you haven't got your wires crossed?

Beg your pardon, Mr. Steed?

It is plugged in, isn't it? Naturally.

Melville, did you deliberately give false information to Steed whilst he was

Lord Edgefield's apartment?

Of course not.

True?

Untrue. Mr. Steed, this machine is infallible. It has never made a mistake.

Well, it's always the first time. It is human.

Let us try a more direct approach, Steve. Check the basic facts.

Right. Melville? Yes?

Did you and I work together today?

No. Well?

According to the machine, that was true.

As you suspected.

It seems that we've found our problem.

We've not solved it.

Problem?

Ah, the mountain comes to Muhammad.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, merely a figure of speech.

I think you have something for me. Yeah.

Five thousand?

You're at liberty to count it.

I trust you.

No bless oblige and all that.

It worked like a dream.

Good.

Always happy to give satisfaction, but it's not enough.

Of course not. That's why we've arranged a regular delivery service. I mean this

will only give me a temporary breathing space.

It won't be long before they come up with someone else to testify against me.

Well, we can't deliver all over London, you know. I'm well aware of that.

And what else do you suggest?

That we stop attacking the body and concentrate on the head.

I see.

For Joseph.

Well, that would be very expensive in view of the risk involved.

How much?

Another ten thousand?

Very well, but you'll have to hurry. There is much time.

Special delivery, Lane.

The Joseph Tarleton.

Two buckets, please.

Yes, sir.

Come in.

Mr. Steve, sir.

Ah.

I'm sorry to disturb you, Joseph.

Oh, that's all right, Steve.

What's on your mind?

Please. What are they?

Edgefield's records of payments received. And from whom?

Hmm.

Manner from heaven, eh?

Well, heaven helps those who help themselves.

Yeah, precisely.

Amanda, would you come in for a moment, please?

Yes, sir.

Of course, you realise that if none of these men testify, we're back where we

started. We've got nothing to lose.

Oh, quite.

Amanda, I want to...

The telephone numbers of all the people on this list, please. Yes, Mr Joseph.

Well, make yourself at home, Steve. This looks like being a long job.

No luck?

Closed up like an oyster.

Probably left.

Mr. Nesbitt, this is Joseph Tarleton.

Two months ago, you made a very large payment to Lord Edgefield.

May I ask what that payment was for?

A fee.

Well, in that case, would you care to come round and see me?

Immediately.

Thank you.

Someone willing to testify?

We've got a bite.

Plummer was willing to testify.

Quite.

Now, this time, nothing must go wrong.

I was going to come and see you anyway, Sir Joseph.

Yes, well, you couldn't come to see me as soon as Lord Edgefield approached

Do sit down.

I realise that now. It was just that he threatened to make public a past

indiscretion. Well, I'm not interested in your private life, Mr Nesbitt. I'm

interested in whether you're willing to give us a sworn statement.

Yes. Yes, I am.

Good. Do please sit down.

I suggest we go over the details before Lord Edgefield arrives.

Would you like a coffee?

Thank you.

Speed? Please.

Amanda, coffee for three, please.

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Worried about lack of vitamins?

Yes, but I'm just wasting away.

Then we must bring the roses back to your cheeks, mustn't we?

Thank you.

Did she get away?

Yeah.

But I shouldn't worry too much if I were you. Why not?

She must have swallowed at least half a pint.

I said immediately, Lord Edgefield.

We now have a witness who is impervious to your threats.

He's coming straight round.

Good. Well, she'll be plain sailing now.

Could be.

I must confess, I'm rather looking forward to this.

Yes? Sir Joseph. Oh, yes, Miss King.

This is very unimportant.

Well, don't bother me now, then. I'm rather busy.

I don't want to warn you.

I beg your pardon?

Whatever you do, don't be careful.

Look, you're wasting my time, Miss King.

Sir Joseph.

Miss King.

Most extraordinary.

What did she say?

She didn't say.

Well, now, shall we have some coffee while we're waiting?

Black or with milk, Mr. Nesbitt?

Come in.

Lord Edgefield.

Sir Joseph, I hope for your sake this horse doesn't let you down.

I think you'll find that he's champing at the bit.

He has not done the start of the order yet.

Oh, quite so.

Perhaps you would care to reaffirm your intention to testify, Mr. Nesbitt.

Certainly.

Do please begin.

Lord Edgefield first came to my office on the 9th of May.

He told me that unless I put certain documents at his disposal...

He would reveal a past indiscretion to the appropriate authorities.

And you gave him those documents?

Yes. And since that time, under the same threat, I have paid him a sum of money

regularly every month.

How much did that amount to in all?

Approximately 5 ,000 pounds.

That tallies with the entries in Hedgefield's notebook.

Well, guilty or not guilty, Sir Joseph?

Not guilty.

But this is conclusive proof.

I disagree. It's completely inconclusive.

Sir Joseph, we've got him where we want him.

I repeat, this evidence proves nothing.

Don't you want to obtain a conviction?

No.

Lord Edgefield is the most incorrupt, irreproachable man in the country.

An idealist, a philanthropist, a paragon of virtue.

Then I take it the interview is over.

Of course.

Return of the prodigal.

No. Well, return of the thrifty.

No.

Why the enigmatic phone call?

I phoned no one.

You called for Joseph. I was there.

No.

Where did you go?

Steed.

Power King has gone to visit Steed, sir.

Don't worry. She can't do much harm.

But just to be on the safe side... Deliver Steed two pints.

Right away, sir.

Milk float. Does that mean something to you?

No!

What's with Martha?

Nothing. Now, look here.

Now, what does the milk float mean to you?

Nothing.

Was it the man driving it?

Nothing. Well, have you ever seen him before? No.

Then why did you behave in that extraordinary manner?

No,

Bill, just the man.

Just the man to what?

Illuminate my darkness.

Speed, Penman's dead.

I know.

Why?

I gave him plenty of warning.

Are you sure?

What do you mean?

You saw someone come into the car house when Penman was there?

Yes, the chauffeur.

And you warned Penman immediately?

Of course.

You don't think I'm responsible for his death?

Tell me something, Melville.

What?

Do you take milk in your coffee?

Yes, usually.

In future, I'd take it black.

The king again.

Analyze it. What on earth do you expect to find in it? The key.

To what?

Three deaths.

Well, it looks perfectly harmless to me.

That's the whole idea.

Gold.

Yes, mother.

Have this analysed. I want the report in half an hour. Yes, Father. Three

deaths, you say?

So far.

And what do you mean by that?

We'll be lucky if we don't get a fourth.

You see, I'm not alone.

I have the whole place surrounded.

My dear Miss King, you have such appealing eyes.

If I didn't know you'd drunk our special milk, I'd almost be inclined to believe

you.

Check the door.

Nothing.

Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth, Miss King.

Or would it?

Sloman. Yeah?

Put her in the butter machine.

The analysis report doesn't tell us very much.

Colorless liquid extracted from milk in some form of hallucinatory drug.

Defying analysis.

Hallucinatory drug.

Suppose... It had the effect of inverting the truth.

Now, Nesbitt and I had black coffee, Sir Joseph white.

And Plummer? He drank his while he was shaving.

Changed his destiny.

And Tara tried to warn Sir Joseph. But she couldn't.

So she warned me.

Dreamy cream dairies.

What on earth is that?

That was the name on the milk float.

Natara must have gone there.

Then I suggest you do the same.

Milk float.

Comfortable?

Have you got anything without air conditioning?

I shouldn't worry too much. You'll be cooling off in a moment.

Well, I've sent for Steve. He should be here soon.

I'm afraid I don't believe you, Miss King.

Why?

For the simple reason that you were unable to tell him. The lie drug saw to

that. Lie drug?

A little invention of my own.

It neutralizes the faculty that distinguishes the true from the false.

And as you may already have guessed... It's not in the milk. That's right, it's

in the milk.

Simple but effective, don't you think? No. A distillation designed to eliminate

the George Washington syndrome.

I don't see.

I thought you would.

So I'm afraid it's highly unlikely that seed will be coming to your rescue.

Of course, now that Lord Edgefield's affairs are so happily resolved, we

move on to higher things.

I need hardly point out the chaos my drug would cause if one or two key

of a national security system were to take it.

Complete organization?

Such a weapon would be worth a great deal of money, don't you think?

No. I knew you'd agree with me.

You'll appreciate we can't allow anyone to stand in our way now, Miss King.

So I've devised a rather unusual death for you. Great.

I thought we'd have a little celebration.

Splendid idea.

All go according to plan. Like clockwork, my worries are over. All

Let's drink to a trouble -free future.

To a successful association.

To a formidable partnership.

The first of many.

Cheers.

Cold enough?

Very refreshing.

Any chance of buying some shares in your enterprise?

I pray not.

We're a limited company.

I've accumulated a lot of capital in the last few years, and this seems like an

ideal home for it.

We've no shortage of capital, I assure you.

And when our foreign branches are fully operative, we shall have an organization

of unparalleled resources. The envy of the commercial world.

And the scourge of the rest of it. And all because of a colorless liquid.

Just think of the unsuspecting fools waiting to lap it up.

Perhaps Lord Edgefield would like to see our milkmaid.

Your what?

Drink up and come with me.

I'll show you how we deal with company spies.

Sounds most intriguing.

Poetic justice, don't you think? A triumph of ingenuity. I congratulate

That cream could curdle.

Never count your chickens before they...

This is where your chickens come home to roost, Mr. Steed.

I hope you like our little coop.

It's a great coop.

Aren't we mixing our metaphors?

Hardly worth the trip, was it?

Especially as Miss King doesn't wish to be rescued.

Do you, Miss King?

No! There you are, you see.

Danzel seems to revel in her distress.

Any sign of Steve?

Yes, he's over there.

What do you mean over there?

I'm over there.

No, you're not. I am.

Sloman. What?

You're not lying.

Or are you?

Indeed.

He didn't doctor our drinks.

I can see him, can't you? Yes, he must be by the butter machine.

Yes, I haven't looked there.

He mustn't be by the milk vat.

Yes, I'm not over there now.

Well, where isn't he?

I'm not right behind you!

Salted. Steve, I really do hate you.

Are you doing?

My great -aunt Emily.

She used to save up silver paper, ended up with five tons of the stuff. That was

before she went off with the scrap metal dealer, the one with the big moustache.

Is there a point to this story? There is a moral.

Waste not, want not. All this butter seemed a pity to waste it. What then? An

endless picnic?

Sandwiches. What now? What about the celebration?

Celebration? You haven't forgotten?

Yes. You said you'd take me out to dinner. No.

Oh, you promised.

Never.

I've even bought neon...

You didn't. I did.

I say, do you like it?

No.

What?

What's wrong with it?

Everything.

Everything about it is delightful.

I can't tell a lie. The table is booked, the carriage awaits, and you look

ravishing. And this?

All that?

That's for itinerant cats.