Original subtitles

Come in.

Wilson? Sir?

Anything happen to your end?

Not a sign, sir.

It's gone 12.

I know, sir.

Can't make it out.

Our information clearly stated that one of their men had a rendezvous in this

area at 12.

Yes, sir.

Going to pass on something vital, that's what we heard. Are you sure you've seen

no one?

Only an old lady on a bicycle, sir.

What?

Went by a few moments ago, sir.

You fool! Get after her, man! Get after her!

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Got your message, mother?

Came as soon as we could.

A very important job, you said.

Very. The agent was killed this morning.

Ours? Theirs. Point is, he was carrying copies of the most top secret codes.

Codes only available at Cypher HQ.

Then it'll be a very important job.

Vital. Biggest job in months.

As you say.

Pity we won't be handling it.

What?

The minister feels that it's time that MI -12 were...

bloodied, so to speak. She's put the whole matter in their lap.

I'm sorry, and all that sort of thing. Can I drop who somewhere?

The Employment Bureau?

So MI -12 are hotfoot and panting at the lead.

Oh, yes.

They've got their man, Jarrett, at hyper -headquarters already.

Hello, master.

What kind of a day's it been?

The usual Monday, miss.

Routine and boring.

Nobody try to steal the secret papers?

Just routine and boring.

Sir, the minister had to call us in after all. It's a feather in our caps.

Definitely. A whole Indian headless.

It's also a darn nuisance.

Am I 12, losing one of their men, having the audacity to ask us to find him?

Roger, Jared.

How long's he been missing?

24 hours.

That's Am I 12 for you.

Complete panic.

Typical of them.

Terrible preoccupation with gimmicks and gadgets.

I said no gadget will ever take the place of a man.

Or a woman.

Where does the trail start?

Jarrett's apartment.

And end?

Cipher HQ.

Jarrett was supposed to be there all day yesterday.

I'll take Jarrett's apartment.

And I'll go and brush up on my ciphers.

Excuse me, Mr. Webster. Mr. C can see you.

Send him in.

How do you do?

How do you do? I suppose the ministry told you to expect me?

Yes, but frankly, I didn't really understand what it was all about. Well,

just routine. We want to pinpoint exactly the time that Jarrett left here

yesterday.

Jarrett?

I've never seen this man before.

This might mean something.

With all my love, Yvette.

With all means urgent, love crash priority.

Yvette is our man in Paris.

You actually go in for that sort of thing at MI12?

Very careless of Jared. This should have been destroyed immediately.

I've finished in the bedroom, Ferret, and a few prints of the bathroom.

All right, Peters.

Cover the area around that table and the door.

For the collection.

Mr. Jarrett, certainly an elusive chap.

A requisite of the profession, Miss King.

Thought all agents were supposed to leave hundreds of clues behind them.

is exactly what Roger Jarrett did.

Oh? The bottle of milk in the kitchen, sir.

The drink in his cup, Moldy. The shaving brush in the bathroom, dry.

Each one a clue, Miss King.

Proving he hasn't been in this flat for two days.

I can say quite definitely that Roger Jarrett left here on Sunday.

I'm afraid not.

I beg your pardon?

It seems Mr. Jarrett didn't leave at all.

Well, either Jarrett disappeared on his way here, or... Or he arrived here and I

didn't see him.

Extremely unlikely.

As director of this HQ, I'm aware of everything that happens here.

All the same.

You may check with my staff, if you wish.

Myra, this is John Speed.

How do you do?

Myra recalls all departures and arrivals of this department.

Mmm, handsome.

But not really my type.

Have you ever seen that man before, Myra?

No.

Who is he, anyway?

Well, his name's Jarrett. He was supposed to have arrived here yesterday

spot security check.

Well, in that case, I certainly would remember him if I'd seen him.

Well, perhaps you were out to lunch when he arrived.

That's impossible.

Well, but certainly not yesterday. I didn't go out to lunch yesterday. The

weather was against me.

That is fine, Mr. Dean.

We are very proud of our security here. People do not just wander in and out

unnoticed. Your Mr. Jarrett was never here.

The weather.

Weather?

Mara.

She said she didn't go to lunch because the weather was against her. Now, why

should she say that?

Obviously, that it rained heavily yesterday.

Rained? Did it?

Mr. Thede, I appreciate your concern, but it's quite clear I'm unable to help

you. And I am rather busy.

Of course.

While I'm here, your security arrangements.

An establishment like this, well, it's responsible for all top secret codes. We

tend to worry, old chap. You've already seen our perimeter.

And every filing cabinet out there is wired to an alarm.

And should they fail, the master alarms.

Oh.

Just passing, gentlemen.

Just passing.

Very impressive, Mr. Webster.

You know, that always was his bad side. I don't suppose we can... No, you

cannot.

Now, Miss King, if we can make a list of his personal possessions.

Certainly, sir.

In duplicate.

Quite.

Personal possessions.

Combs, one.

High -frequency resonators, one.

Special issue.

Tie clips, one.

Microphones. What?

Wallet. Sorry.

Survival kit.

KSU.

I'll bet that's not a cigarette case.

.22 automatic pistol with twin magazines and self -loader. You open it to fire.

A hand -operated short -range grenade.

Hard luck.

It's his dispatch case.

Where is she?

Oh, I don't know. Just at the top.

No, I mean, astonishing that Mr. Jarrett should have all these marvellous

gadgets and still disappear.

April 1st.

What was that special about yesterday?

His death.

Hmm.

Quite a page of a calendar.

I might get a control.

They seem to have found something.

Can you make out what it is?

What did it look like?

Like a page from a calendar.

Anything more?

No, it seems quite ordinary.

There's a car coming. I'll call you back.

Most annoying.

The one thing that could help us is missing.

What's that?

A cigarette lighter.

Don't see how that's going to help us.

By taking pictures.

Oh, but of course. You mean the single -lens reflex automatic magazine load

cigarette lighter.

Absolutely. With the built -in light meter.

No smoker should be without one.

Miss Janet's all right.

Was there a film?

Yes, I had it developed.

But I really can't see why I bothered.

Then he did go to Cypher HQ.

The camera cannot lie.

Which is more than can be said for the director.

Webster? He swore on every civil service manual that he'd never laid eyes on

Jarrett. Impossible. Webster had a triple star clearance. He can't lie.

He can't lie.

I'm delighted to hear that.

How come I found this on his desk?

Then someone else took it there.

Wait a minute.

The calendar is the same page.

This is most disturbing.

Every code we use comes from Cypher HQ. There's a leakage there.

These aren't right.

What aren't?

Photographs. No point to them.

Why should Jared go to all the trouble of taking sneak pictures of scenes like

these? Why, indeed.

To prove he was there, perhaps. But why bother?

Unless he knew he wasn't going to get out.

I'd like to spend a bit of time with these. Blow them up on the projector.

All right, Peters. We're about finished here, anyway.

Right.

There's still the problem of finding Jared.

We didn't tell him, did we?

Tell me what?

Jared.

Yes?

You're sitting on him.

He's got the photographs with him, sir.

That's handy.

Steve. Peter's here. I was right.

Those photographs.

This is how they did it.

Foresight. It's not every assassin who carries his own ladder.

And in broad daylight.

They seem to get away with quite a lot of things in broad daylight.

Especially murder.

Yes.

It's a pity Peter didn't have time to tell me what he'd found out.

What about the photograph?

Ah.

A trifle overexposed, that's fair.

Oh. Well, at least we know what he wanted.

And what they didn't find.

I still have the negative.

Oh, then we can make more prints.

Precisely. Tara, will you join me in my darkroom?

Etching.

Bromide paper. Going down.

Fresh from the bromide.

And not a clue inside.

There must be one somewhere.

Ah.

Look. That fan.

Classy glass cleaning.

Ah. Window cleaners. We've known stranger methods of cover. Yes, I'm glad

brought that up. Cover.

First Jarrett, now Peters. The whole of MI -12 will be in a panic.

Oh, bad business.

Thanks.

Dreadful. No, that's why we're taking over.

I'm sending someone into Cypher HQ.

Undercover? That's it.

Well, they know me already.

Ah.

Splendid opportunity for you, my dear.

Me? Hmm, you.

You start tomorrow.

And you, Steve?

We'll be having my windows cleaned.

Gates all clear, sir. Right. Mask on. Use your drill.

Miss King, come in, please. Yes, sir.

Get me the Q -5 file, please.

Give it to the guard.

Yes, sir.

Q -5.

Number,

please. Outside line, please.

Have you got a line?

Oh, no, I completely forgot.

Good morning, sir. Lava's the name. Charles Lava. John Steed, looking for a

window cleaner.

Then look no further. At classy glass, the world is our window. Now, what did

you have in mind?

Well, I... Anti -clockwise, James, always anti -clockwise.

Apprentices, they will try the easy way.

You can't be too careful. Exactly. There are no short... Huts to the top of our

ladder. Here, we really care about windows.

I'm delighted to hear it. A beautiful Wilson.

Lovely touch with the leather. But just a shade more wrist action. There's a

good lad.

We only use the finest camel skins, you know.

Camel skins?

Hold twice as much water. Of course.

Now, we can offer you three things.

Wash and dry.

Cream shampoo with a hot air finish.

And a full deluxe treatment.

with leather glaze and crystal clear finish.

Nothing but the best.

Splendid. I'll book you for our deluxe.

Now, approximately how many windows will require treatment?

Approximately... one.

One? Oh, it's a very beautiful window.

It's the family seat.

Had to have the rest of them boarded up.

Boarded? You've boarded up your window? I know it's tragic, but it's death

duties, you know.

We've only got one room left.

Sorry, Mr. Steed, but we owe a duty to our employees.

The sight of all those boarded windows.

Men have cracked under left.

Pity.

It's just round the corner from one of your regular clients.

Who? Yes, the Cipher headquarters.

I don't recall... The Ministry of Defence?

The Cipher headquarters?

Oh, what are they on now?

Oh, uh, bathroom windows.

Eyes front, Wilton.

Kiefer headquarters, you say?

Of course I remember.

Double glazed with molded frames.

Ghastly. But we haven't touched them for months.

We used to have the contract, yes, but gave it up. Uneconomic. And besides, all

that grey concrete.

Quite soul -destroying. Oh, I see.

But if you ever decide to reopen your windows... If I ever decide to reopen,

shall be the first to know.

Anti -clockwise, gentlemen!

Get me Cyber HQ Lessington, please.

Sorry, sir. All lines are engaged.

Well, then use the security line 010.

Hello, caller. I'm afraid the security line is out of order.

I see. Thank you.

Mother speaking.

Mother?

Steve, how quickly can you get someone around to Cypher HQ?

Well, I suppose I could get someone from MI -12.

Ferret, perhaps.

Good. Get him around there right away.

Right. And what's all this about, Steve?

I think someone needs to be there. Tyra may need help.

And I'm tied up with a ladder at the moment.

The ladder?

Yeah, and I have a nasty feeling the other end is at Cypher HQ.

Steve, are you all right?

Perfectly. Don't waste time on it.

I've got a job for you.

Pfeiffer HQ.

Miss Kay?

Thanks, Ty.

That's all right.

Miss Kay, haven't you got that cue fired yet?

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Webster. I must have forgotten. Really? The time? It's almost

five o 'clock. Well, there's no time to deal with it now. Let me have it first

thing in the morning.

Air conditioning.

At last.

Compliments of classy glass for people who really care about windows.

So they are involved.

Well, I was expecting you to tell me. Weren't they here?

No.

Oh.

What time did Ferret leave here? Ferret? Well, he was here all this afternoon.

Steve, I've had a perfectly ordinary, perfectly boring day.

And if Mr. Ferret had been in the building, I'd have seen him.

No window cleaners?

None whatsoever.

Anyway, they'd hardly clean the windows when it had been raining all day.

Raining?

Dry as a bow.

Steed, that's ridiculous.

I'm sure it was raining.

But if it wasn't... Then I imagined it.

But that's impossible.

And yet... Yes?

You said Ferret went to Cypher HQ.

Well, he was supposed to, but he obviously didn't get there or you would

seen him.

Yes. You didn't see him, did you?

I don't think so.

Well, you'd either know or you wouldn't.

I didn't see him.

And nothing unusual happened all day?

It was a perfectly ordinary, perfectly boring day.

Well, what's the next move?

Late night lurks.

Where?

Classy glass cleaning.

I suppose it could be a perfectly harmless company.

With a very lethal line in ladders.

You take that sign.

Steed. One of the tricks of the trade.

Told you, wasn't it, Cypher HQ?

That's what they said about Jarrett.

Time to take him home.

Right.

Anything special? Yeah. Put him in the bath. Could look like an accident.

Right. What about tomorrow? Is it still on? Of course it is.

Tomorrow's yesterday again.

But how did they do it?

I was watching their cycle files all day and nothing happened.

Except that it rained.

Yeah.

And I've got the cue file.

Hmm?

Nothing.

Except that I have the strangest feeling.

As though today didn't happen at all.

Well, then tomorrow we'd better make certain.

You ring me every half hour, whatever happens.

And if I stop?

I'll be with you, post haste. Make sure you don't walk under any ladders.

Good morning, Mr. Webb. Sir, the fuse bar.

Oh, yes, yes. Let's get on with it.

May I have your attention, please?

I think I should tell you all now that the output from our cipher and decoding

departments has deteriorated remarkably during the past week.

Now, while I realize the work is demanding and accuracy is vital, there

simply no excuse for this present lack of effort.

I trust that you will all rectify this situation without delay.

I don't know why he's so upset. We've been working the same hallway.

Did it rain yesterday?

Of course.

And the day before?

Miserable. What's that got to do with it?

Nothing.

Hello, Steve.

Oh, good morning.

How's the weather?

Changeable. By the way, it might be worth taking another look at those

photographs.

Any particular reason?

Well, according to Mr. Webster, output has deteriorated remarkably.

I see. Well, we mustn't waste time in idle chatter.

Backs to the wheel. Goodbye.

Ten o 'clock and all's well.

Any faces at the window?

All clear.

Miss King?

Personal calls are not allowed.

I'm sorry, Mr. Webster, I didn't know.

Come in, dear.

The line's blocked, sir.

Right. Harper and Lang, cover the road.

Davies and Warrick, the trees at the back.

Same procedure as before?

Yes. Scare off any unwelcome visitors, unless Deed shows his face.

And then?

Put a bullet in it.

All clear of the dead.

Right. Masks on.

Usual drill.

I'll take care of the main entrance. Make sure to hit those ventilators fast.

Sorry, sir, but the line's out of order.

Okay, now.

Did you check the tapes? Yes, sir. Get moving, then. I'll get these files open.

I want this job finished today.

It is a perfectly normal, perfectly ordinary day, and work continues as it

on any ordinary day.

It is 1115, raining quite heavily now, but still a perfectly

ordinary day.

It is a perfectly normal, perfectly ordinary day.

quite heavenly but still abundantly more than

Bread! Bread!

How many more to go?

The last one down, sir.

Perfect operation.

Sandwich, sir?

Oh, what you got today?

Almond shot.

Oh, no, thanks.

Time to check out, patient.

Right.

Steve!

Do you know without milk?

It has been a perfectly normal...

Hello, Steve.

Busy day?

Not really.

Nothing unusual's happened.

Funny you should say that.

What happened?

You're asleep.

Hypnotic gas.

There we are.

That will be quite sufficient, Mr. Steed.

Ah, Mr. Lather, I was wondering which window you'd drop into.

You've caused us a great deal of trouble. But your mistake was in meeting

our own ground.

Like Mr. Ferret.

He died without even disturbing the office routine.

You see, that's the beauty of hypnotics. People only see what you want them to

see. Splendid idea.

Climb in any window, no one blinks an eye.

Exactly. Even when I pull this trigger.

Sorry, old chap, you've forgotten the cardinal rule for window cleaners.

What's that? Never leave your ladder unattended.

They could use you in the fire brigade.

Just can't seem to do it. Ah!

About it.

What were you saying?

Just that I didn't think I'd ever be a hypnotist.

Oh, don't be ridiculous. It's the simplest thing in the world.

In fact, this primer is highly elementary.

All you need is a superior mind.

You mean you can do it? Hypnotize people? Well, of course.

Show me.

Now? Why not?

Good question.

In fact, as I can't think of a good answer, I'll go right ahead.

Now, Tara.

I'm going to take you back into the darkest recesses of your subconscious.

To experience again the long -forgotten moments of childhood.

A tour of your mind.

You're sitting comfortably.

Concentrate on the watch.

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Slowly.

Slowly, your mind is beginning to empty of all care.

Darkness, black as a raven's wing, is beginning to engulf you.

Your eyes are heavy.

You want to sleep.

You must sleep.

Deeply.

Deeply.

Sleep.

Pete. Pete.

What is your command?

Stand up.

Now walk to the door.

Stop.

Now you're going to go downstairs and get into your car and drive us into the

country to our favorite restaurant and buy a very expensive dinner.

Who's paying?

I am.

I'll bang.

Indulgently.