Original subtitles

Where to?

I don't know.

Joyride? It's been around the park.

No, no, no. There's somewhere I have to go. There's someone I have to see.

It's very urgent. Come on, Gav. Make up your mind.

I can't remember where or who it is I have to see.

What's this all about?

I can't remember that either.

I can't even remember who I am.

Twelve down, an abbreviated story, usually of an amusing nature.

Eight letters.

Many quips?

Anecdote.

Fifteen across.

Tall man, well built, wearing a tweed overcoat.

How many letters?

The man down there seems very interested in this place.

There. Do you know him?

It's Sean. Sean Mortimer.

Sean!

Sean!

Nothing seems wrong.

Of course I know you. What's my name? Sean Mortimer.

Sean Mortimer.

Come inside. I think you need a drink.

Sean Mortimer. How do you do?

No, you're Sean Mortimer. This is Mrs. Thiel.

And who are you?

John Steve.

And who is he?

Don't you start.

I mean, what does he do?

He's an agent for my department. He's been missing the last two weeks.

Missing all cylinders.

Here we are then. Wrap yourself around that.

Thank you.

You are Mrs.

Peel. That's right.

Who are you?

Well, you must know who I am.

You found your way to my address.

Yes, I walked. Oh, where?

The street felt familiar as I turned on it.

There was someone I had to see.

Steed.

Steed? Who's Steed?

No, Sean.

But we trained together. We're in the same organisation.

Organisation, that's it. Something to do with an organisation.

I had to tell something to somebody.

Tell them what?

The organization and a traitor. That's it.

There's a traitor inside the organization. Who?

Who?

I don't remember.

Stay with him. See what else you can.

Where will you be?

A situation like this under such a fancy mother.

You know, you must be president of Anonymous. This is Anonymous.

There's not a thing, not a single scrap of identification.

Nothing to tell who you are or where you've been.

But you said you knew who I am.

I do.

Sean Mortimer.

You said I was Sean Mortimer.

And so you are.

What happened?

Was it an accident?

Did you get hit on the head?

No, I don't think so.

You've been missing for two weeks, you know.

Two weeks?

And a week has seven days, doesn't it?

And your name is Mrs. Peel.

That's right.

And the man who just left, can you remember his name?

Steed. John Steed. Correct.

And there was somebody else.

Mother.

As always, Mother.

Morning, Giles.

Oh, good morning, sir.

Is mother at home?

Yes, sir.

Hasn't been out all week.

Poor thing.

How are the bulbs coming on?

Coming along nicely, sir.

69.

Over there.

Your target is over there, 69.

Over there.

What?

Oh.

I'm terribly sorry about this, sir. Terribly sorry.

Why, it's you, sir.

I do hope you understand, sir. These new recruits touch over eager.

Touch? There's no harm done.

It's very sporting you to take it like that, sir. Not at all.

Pleasure. Thank you, Mr. Steve.

Jenkins.

Oh, good morning, sir. Is Mother busy?

At the moment, I'm afraid so, sir, but if you care to wait... Thank you.

You'll tell Mother I'm here, won't you?

Immediately, sir.

I see a big building.

Dirty cobwebs.

Glad.

Spectacles? Or that?

I don't remember.

I'm sorry?

You're doing very well. Just take it step by step.

You're very patient.

Not by nature.

Let's try word association.

Say the first thing that comes into your mind.

Black. White. Up. Down. Bed. Sleep.

Attack?

Motorbike.

I see two motorbikes.

Carl here.

Sorry I couldn't get in touch with you before.

Been busy.

How's it going?

Well, Mortimer's still in Slee's apartment.

Slee'd left some time ago.

I know.

He's here now, waiting to see Muller.

He didn't leave Mortimer on his own?

No, the woman's with him, Mrs Peel.

Look, that drug may be wearing off.

And if it does, and he remembers.

I know.

All right, move in and grab him.

And Mrs Peel.

Now, let's start again.

Here. Look at it go.

Hello.

Hello. Who are you?

I'm Tara.

You didn't say it.

Say what?

Raboundier.

I very seldom do.

Practically everyone does when they hear my name.

Tara, you see.

Tara Raboundier.

Incredibly subtle.

My full name's Tara King.

Myth.

Well, it's very nice to meet you.

You didn't think so a few minutes ago.

A few min... Oh, so that was you.

With me. I'm terribly sorry.

I'm training here, you see. So I gathered.

You're John Steed, aren't you? Yes.

My feeding time is 1 .30.

I'm awfully sorry. I was staring.

You what?

I know everything about you.

Everything? Everything.

That's on your file.

Oh.

Your name crops up almost every day in training.

We're taught the Steed method for this and the Steed method for that.

No, no, that's not the way John Steed would have done it. Oh, yes, exactly.

That's just how John Steed would do it.

He'd rather a reputation.

You're the head boy, the star pupil.

You want my address and phone number?

I beg your pardon?

I told you I saw your file, and it tells everything.

Even your Achilles heel.

Rubber sole shoes.

The opposite sex.

I was going to write it with invisible ink, but I couldn't find any.

You do want my address, don't you?

Oh, a gentleman could hardly refuse.

You're not going to put it in your wallet.

Of course not.

Restricted information.

There.

Steve? Simon.

Have you two met? Simon Filton?

We've met.

Mother will see you now. Good. Excuse me.

John! Sit yourself down.

Sorry to have kept you waiting.

Oh, that's all right.

Hot line to Washington?

Luke, warm line. Things are pretty quiet, I'm afraid.

What are you doing here?

Sean Mortimer.

Mortimer's missing?

Not anymore.

He's at my apartment.

Like a drink, I imagine.

I can manage.

That's the only exercise I get.

Got to keep fit.

Mortimer's on the suspect list.

I suppose you know that.

Yes.

If a man goes missing, he must presume that he's defected.

Understandable. Soda? Thank you.

What's Mortimer doing at your place?

Trying to remember.

He seems to be suffering from some kind of amnesia. Drugged? Possible.

Brainwashed? We have.

Cheers. Cheers.

One thing he does remember, he says there's a traitor in the organisation.

What do you need? A team of experts standing by. Doctors, psychiatrists,

specialists in brainwashing.

They'll be here. Go and bring Mortimer in.

Sean Mortimer. Sean?

And who is Sean Mortimer?

Ridiculous. I left him sitting there on the sofa.

Nobody was here. Certainly nobody called Mortimer. I would have remembered.

Yes, indeed.

Have you been having hallucinations?

What do you mean, Steed? You said he was there. How can he have gone?

Mother's going to be very cross.

John, Mother, what's all this about?

It's Mortimer, sir. He's missing again.

See? Where's he gone?

I've no idea. He's just vanished.

And Mother, that team of experts, are they still standing by?

If Mortimer's missing, we won't be needing them.

They'll be needed, all right.

But Mrs. Teal... Here we are.

One long for two.

Felton? Yes, Mother?

Get everything Street requires and have it standing by.

Yes, Mother.

Here.

What's the penny?

Speed. Bringing Mrs. Peel in.

It's rather a new trade time of the day for a party, isn't it? He is the

lexentric party -giver.

Who did you say he was?

Mater, Professor Mater.

And what's he Professor of? What's that polygy you're interested in?

Anthro. That's it.

Anthropologist. One of the best. But I've never heard of him. Way ahead of

time.

Brad, the boss just phoned. The dope water's urgent.

Well, she's not working. We'll take this one. Come on.

Come on.

Wasn't it his party invitation?

Is that kind of chap impetuous?

And eccentric.

You said the invitation included me.

Specifically.

Well, how did this professor, whatever his name is, know that I'd be at your

apartment?

Intuition.

Why does he want to meet me, anyway?

He wants to examine you.

Examine me?

Yes, he wants to examine your theories on anthropology.

Well, how does he know I've got any?

Look out!

You take her back to the glass factory.

Who are you?

You should have been here hours ago.

I know, I know, I know.

Something's happened.

happened. Steve was merely bringing Mrs. Peel from his apartment to here. You

know the business we're in. Anything can happen. We've had no official contact

from Steve for nearly nine hours.

Well, sir, according to regulations, we should put Steve... Don't put the

regulations to me! I made them!

All right.

Put Steve's name on the suspect list.

Warn all agents he could be a possible enemy.

Yes, Mother.

Get a communique out to all agents immediately.

Name to be added to the suspect list.

Who? John Steed.

What? Mother's orders. Mother knows best.

Not Steed. I mean, what's he done?

Defected to the other side.

You don't know that to be a fact.

No, but Sean Mortimer did discover a traitor in the organisation.

Steed?

Even the biggest idols can have feet of clay.

This is really very strange.

Certainly a coincidence that we both seem to be suffering from amnesia.

What's amnesia?

Loss of memory.

Ah.

Who's lost their memory?

We have.

Oh, sorry.

I'd forgotten.

Seed. Seed. I remember the name Seed.

Say, why?

That must be you, then.

Well, he must be.

How do you do?

Now we're getting somewhere, eh, Steed?

And I remember another name.

Peele.

Peele. That must be me.

Hello.

What about Mother?

Mother? I keep remembering Mother.

I don't honestly think that can be either of us.

At least we know you're Steed, and I'm Peel.

Where do we go from here?

Not far, I'm afraid.

The door's locked.

There doesn't seem to be any other way out.

There doesn't, does there?

You know, I don't actually remember, but I think we're prisoners.

Doctor? Coming round today.

What's your name?

Did you complete the examination?

No physical injury. The x -ray is negative.

Probably drink.

What's your name?

That's really very embarrassing, but I can't remember.

What were you doing wandering down that country lane?

What country lane?

There's something terribly wrong, Doctor.

One drink too many. That's what's wrong with him.

Give him a sedative.

It's no good, Mr. Peel.

Mrs. Peel.

That's me.

But if you are me, who am I?

I.

Now, I'm an appeal, right?

Right.

Then you must be.

better? I would if I knew who I was.

My pockets.

Empty.

Nothing to tell us who you are.

Would you do me a great favor?

Yes.

I'd love a cup of tea.

Of course.

There is still some inquiries to be made about you.

I'm

a

king.

Nine primrose crescent.

Simon? We've had news of Steve.

A man answering his description attacked a doctor in a local hospital.

Looked as though I was right.

You assume too much, Simon.

You really do.

Don't move.

Is your name King?

Tower of King?

Don't be alarmed. I want to talk, that's all.

Jerk talk.

I suppose you know you're on the wanted list.

I knew it.

The way I opened that lock as though I'd been doing it all my life.

I'm a burglar.

They think you've defected.

Defected?

Who are they?

The organisation.

Simon says you've let Mother down badly.

Let Mother down?

That must be a thoroughly bad lot.

You are John Steed.

Who's he?

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Steed.

John Steed.

Me?

Do you remember who he is?

We were going to a party, just driving along.

And then there were two men.

On motorbikes?

We've got to find a way out of here.

No chance.

No chance at all.

I'm John Deed.

I work with Mother.

There's something missing.

But there was a woman.

My apartment.

That's where it all started, my apartment.

Where is my apartment?

Don't you remember?

No. Don't you?

I told you. You're a secret agent. Your address is restricted information. Well,

couldn't you find out?

Well, I suppose I could... Good girl.

Now, I'll wait here. Phone me as soon as you have it.

Steve, I found it. Go ahead.

Listen, you live at Three Stable Mews.

Three Stable Mews, Three Stable Mews. Thank you very much, Miss... King.

Tara King.

Bye.

And what do you think you're doing here?

He's on the wanted list, isn't he?

If I'm going to help catch him, I'll have to find out all I can about him.

Won't I?

um

Sean Mortimer.

Anecdote.

Mrs. Peel.

Mrs. Emma Peel.

Let's call headquarters.

Sheriff's Headquarters.

Ah, Miss King.

I'm terribly sorry to bother you again, but I want to contact Mother. Do you

know the number?

You're on the wanted list.

You tell me that. The phone number? Anyone on the wanted list, turn them in

once. Those are the orders. Yes, we've been through all that. Now, you offered

to help. Surely you haven't forgotten.

Sorry, but it's the rules.

See, you're using the single -handed death grip.

It's recommended.

Your judo master teach you the counter to it?

No.

Highly recommended.

I hate to do this to you. I just want to send you to sleep.

That's far enough, Steve.

Mother?

I'm sorry to disturb you. I'm afraid there's been a... well, a bit of a

Mother's not here.

Gone into hiding. I'm not surprised. Mother is vulnerable at the best of

And with the possibility of a traitor in the organization.

I thought we found our traitor.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to hear me out.

Go ahead.

Well, there are gaps.

Lamps in my memory.

But there's one thing I do recall, and that's Mrs. Peel.

I was driving her along, trying to find... somewhere.

You were bringing her here for a psychiatric examination?

Of course.

Yes, yes.

We were ambushed on the road. Now, there were two men, that's right.

And one of them said to the other, take her to the glasshouse.

Well, do you remember the glasshouse?

That's where we did our basic training. The glasshouse, the glass factory.

Yes, I remember it.

I haven't been to a glass house for ages. It'd be nice to see the old place

again. Yes, won't it?

I'm going along with you, but I haven't bought your story, you understand?

You want the next left turn.

You sure this will work?

Yeah, no, I'm not, but it needs to be dry.

But suppose it is.

That is quirk.

Not quite.

We've got this.

Mother?

Filson here. Sorry to disturb you so late.

Steve just left, sir.

I wasn't complimented, sir.

I'm not sure, sir, but it looks as though he's taken Burton with him.

It was the other way around.

What? Oh, it seems pretty conclusive, sir. Using Burton as a hostage.

Steve must be the traitor.

He fired some kind of dart at me. It makes you lose your memory.

Miss King is confirming it, sir. Steve fired some sort of dart. Oh, you fool.

It's Burton.

Martin's the traitor.

It can't be far now.

Four to a mile or so.

directions were faultless, which I must say is surprising.

I don't think I'd have remembered how to get here.

It's an awful long time since we used this place.

Before you joined the organization, in fact.

Remarkable. You should know it so well.

When did you defect to the other side, Burton?

I suppose that Sean found out you'd defected and you used some kind of drug

against him. That's right.

Why didn't you kill him?

A killing would have stirred up too much too soon. Besides, my orders were to

test the drug. It works.

It raises the memory.

Only temporarily. Well, it varies from person to person. Varies according to

dose used.

But it's close to perfection.

Meanwhile, a bullet erases the memory completely.

Carl!

Looks like I'll have to do the job myself.

There's a well over there.

Good place to hide a body.

Very good place.

Amazing thing.

The ringleader had a head start on me. There was nothing to stop him getting

away. And suddenly, he didn't get away.

I think he forgot to.

And talking of forgetting, just to remind me, are you the man who...

I'm afraid so.

It's very important. I must tell somebody.

There's a traitor in the organization.

And who are you?

Yes, Mother, I've seen the papers.

Yes, it looks as though I'll be needing a replacement.

As soon as possible.

You know my taste.

I'll trust your judgment.

You've seen the newspapers?

Yes.

I asked him to make a dramatic reappearance.

Found in a jungle.

The Amazonian jungle.

It's corny.

Ridiculous.

They've flown him back.

He'll be picking me up in a few minutes.

Here?

Keep your boner on and stand straight.

Excuse me, apartment three.

At the top of the stairs. Thanks.

Um,

he likes his tea stirred anti -clockwise.

Mother sent me.