Original subtitles

You must have given us the slip.

Go back.

Thank you.

Good evening, Steve.

It's 3 .30 in the morning.

Good morning, Steve.

I thought we'd have a party.

Well, I'm expecting visitors.

Oh, perhaps I'm intruding.

You're not intruding.

I've just come from an embassy junket.

A rattle of ambassadorial decoration, the drone of speeches.

All proceeding at the pace of an infirm, gravely debilitated, very old snail.

Why the midnight vigil?

I'm expecting Bobby Danvers.

Courier? What's he couriering? Top secret papers from you know where.

Hot stuff?

I've laid out my asbestos glass.

She should have been here nearly two hours ago.

Wait.

He hasn't got the box.

He must have ditched it on the way here.

And now he's going into Steed's place.

We've got to know what happens in there, Carl.

We've got to hear what's being said.

But if it was an ordinary delay, he would have telephoned, surely?

Not necessarily.

Personal contact only, that's one of the rules of the job.

Now, if Dan was...

They didn't get the box, Dean.

Hit it.

I hit it.

Confused the trail.

Hit it.

Treasure chest.

Red.

Treasure chest.

All right?

It should be loud and clear.

He doesn't make sense.

He hid the box in the red treasure chest.

That doesn't tell us much.

How did he arrive in the country?

By plane.

Do you know where he landed?

Yes, a small airfield just outside London.

Then let's trace the route he took.

That might tell us something.

Spread them out on the desk.

Carl, were you asleep?

No, of course I wasn't asleep.

Well, what's been happening?

Van came up and took Danvers' body away.

Anything else?

No, that's all.

It's a parcel for you, sir.

Thank you.

How are we doing?

Not very well.

Even if he came here direct, it still means 35 miles of country roads.

Aren't you going to open it?

I know what it is.

Lead weight for your diving boots?

Rock cakes from my Auntie Penelope.

Ben said request the pleasure of John Steed at his annual car rally.

Who is George Benson?

I've no idea, but he has a key.

For the treasure chest?

And those are Danvers fingerprints.

The rally starts at High Pines, Edgington.

That's about 15 miles from here.

Must be the right place.

This way, sir, madam.

Mr. Benstead is waiting to welcome you.

One minute thirty -five.

Best time of the day, eh, mates?

The middle of the field and get.

Don't forget finding me like this.

I do enjoy a little run, though.

So exhilarating.

Stayed. How good of you to come.

Forgive me, but I can't recall just where it was we met. May I introduce

Emma Peel?

How do you do?

How do you do, my dear?

What a beauty.

Oh, I do agree.

Marvellous, I think. Well, I wouldn't be quite so bold as to say that, but...

Her suspension's pretty complex, too.

Eh?

Oh! Oh, that.

My patent simulator.

All the controls are geared to the film.

One mistake and the bell rings.

You mean you've crashed?

Metaphorically speaking, yes.

Would you care for a run?

Oh, no, thank you very much. No, Steve's the one who likes the big toys. Oh,

capital. Splendid.

In you get, then.

Well, I...

Fits

me like a glove.

I'll adjust the left speed about halfway.

Shall we say 80 miles an hour till we get used to it? Right.

Bobby enjoyed this.

Bobby? Bobby Danvers. We understood he was a friend of yours. Watch that

It's very tricky.

Get into a four -wheel grip there and you've had it.

There's something wrong with your electrics. No, no.

Oh, dear me. I forgot to warn you, old chap. When you make a mistake, you also

get a mild electric shock.

Oh,

I see.

Ginger's one up, no end, eh?

End is right.

Quite an experience, eh?

Electrifying.

Well, the stop at the pits is indicated.

A little drink before the others arrive.

What a very good idea.

Yes, yes, a little pit stop. Excellent.

Well, this thing prints hair. I picked them up very cheaply at a shop in

Prestetta.

Bane stuff, eh? Exactly.

But all non -alcoholic, of course. Of course.

No problems about driving afterwards.

Cheers.

What's this? Gin and Maserati?

Very amusing.

Beg your pardon, they've put the soup in the standard.

Did you get them?

Only just.

Mrs. Peel jumped me.

Mrs. Peel jumped you?

Yeah, you didn't see it.

She's well and truly emancipated, is that one? Anyway, you got them.

So we're in.

Of course, I never married.

Wedded to my cars instead.

Distinct advantages.

You can switch a car on.

That's it, exactly.

Tell me, isn't there something missing in this room?

Oh?

Well, if my memory serves me correctly, didn't you used to have a treasure

chest, a red treasure chest?

That's rich.

That's really rich.

A treasure chest.

A red treasure chest.

You'd like to see it now, I suppose.

As a matter of fact, I would.

Excuse me, sir. Some more guests have arrived.

Treasure chest.

Well, there's no sign of the famous treasure chest, but we're in the right

place. I ran into some trouble.

Somebody was ransacking Benstead's study.

They get anything?

Not as far as I can make out.

A couple of invitations.

Blank ones.

It's not going to be easy, Alex.

This crowd provides a perfect cover.

Helps to confuse things.

Besides, we are holding the ace.

We know the opposition.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you will give me your attention, please.

It is now time to draw for partners.

Partners? Certainly, sir.

Driving partners.

Oh.

Mr. George Townsend.

Miss Margaret Brady.

Miss Penelope Plain.

Miss Penelope Plain.

Terribly sorry I'm late, darling. I had such trouble with my clutch control.

Miss Blaine, you'll be accompanying Mr. John Steed. Oh, who's John Steed?

Here.

Oh, darling.

You're with me.

Oh, I'm so glad.

Because you remind me so much of dear David.

David? My few say. Oh, well, in that case, perhaps I should step aside in

fiancé compartment.

I see.

David did.

Poor dear fell into a buzzsaw. He was terribly fond of carpentry.

Oh, darling.

We've got to wriggle out of it somehow.

We can't go chasing off around the countryside.

No, sir, you'd better stay here and search. Mrs. Peel.

Seems they've paired us off together.

Oh. Coburn. Major Mike Coburn. How do you do?

Well, you look a good, keen navigating type.

I do?

Yes. And I want to make it clear right now. I mean to win this treasure hunt.

Treasure hunt?

Well... Of course.

Well, don't tell me you didn't know.

It's the car rally combined with the treasure hunt.

Splendid fun.

Clues scattered all along the route, and each one leading you closer to the

treasure. The prize.

The big prize.

It's worth a thousand guineas this year.

Rich picking.

I must check my motor.

And I'll get you two ladies a drink. And you must tell me about your clutch

control.

dear chap.

I'm shocked.

Deeply shocked.

You do know where the treasure's hidden?

Naturally. I'm the only one who does.

I hid it myself.

And to come right out and ask me where I've hidden it, you have all the

appearance of a gentleman, too.

Look, I'm not interested in the thousand guineas, Mr. Banstead. Oh, no, no, of

course not.

Just want to know where...

A friend of mine has hidden something in your treasure chest, wherever it is.

More than that, I can't tell you. You'll just have to trust me.

Look, as a gesture of good faith, I'll double the prize money if you'll tell me

where the treasure's hidden.

Double it?

Switches, sir. I was throwing the switches. So I saw.

Please, sir. We have guests in the house.

Someone had altered them to full voltage, sir. Very dangerous.

Very... There could have been an out -the -air mutant.

There already has.

Just come and look in here.

Mr. Benson, sir.

Dead? Yeah, dead.

Oh, I didn't touch him.

Well,

if you didn't... And I didn't... Yeah.

Who did?

Isn't it time we're all away, darling?

Do tell Mr. Benstead that we're ready and absolutely panting at the leash.

Go ahead, as if nothing had happened.

Oh, uh, Mr. Benstead is feeling a little unwell and will be watching the start

from his bedroom window.

Mr. Benstead is... I sincerely hope so, madam.

Take your partners, please.

The rally is about to commence.

I've got mine.

Please don't open it yet.

You know, there's something of Paul about you.

Paul? My second fiancé.

Poor love insisted on surveying mountains by air.

Popped up in his helicopter and then his whirly things, whatever you call them,

bumped against a glacier.

Did he come down again?

Very rapidly.

Your first clue, sir. Please don't open it yet.

Ladies and gentlemen.

The first clue is sealed in your envelope.

When I give the signal, run to your cars, read the clue, and then off you

Remember, I shall be watching you.

I am the scrutineer.

Ready.

Steady.

No, no, you drive. Thank you.

We haven't got a clue.

We

haven't

got a clue.

The vault's admittering. The vault's admittering. That's what it says.

My fiancé had a car like this.

Poor Harold.

Harold? My third fiancé. Oh, divine man.

Cross -channel swimmer.

Then one day he had this simply super idea of swimming it both ways,

Poor Harold. He simply had no sense of direction.

It's a short skirt.

I mean a short cut.

Short cut.

Should put us a good ten minutes ahead of the others.

Any more good ideas?

There must be a shortcut.

This is the vault of Mithring.

The bank vaults, do you think?

Now, that wouldn't be a problem if we had dear Albert here.

Fiancé number... Four.

Was it five?

Anyway, Albert was always blowing things up. Went all over the world just

demolishing things.

Is that so?

It must mean something.

Let's try over here.

The last thing he blew up was a bridge.

Only he was so absent -minded, poor Albert.

He said the charges, and then...

Oh, God, get off. Do you want on that side?

Get into the car.

Well, we're ahead now.

Yeah. Got to make sure that we stop ahead.

I shall make sure.

The next pass straight.

This is it.

Bombs away!

You

girls!

Lucky?

We missed them. I doubt if anyone else will.

Yes, but don't you think we should... Oh, you haven't got time.

Look out!

Oh, God.

That reminded me of a bobsleigh run I did with Henry V.

Henry V? My fifth.

I was thrown clear, but poor Henry.

Will he really... Should have been wearing a crash helmet, don't you think?

I say, someone's awfully keen on winning, aren't they?

Another shortcut?

This one's more reliable.

It should put us about five minutes ahead of anyone else.

By the time I'm finished, maybe more than five minutes.

By hook or by crook.

Anything?

Not that thing.

There is still a head.

Well, that should upset somebody.

Paul!

Well, somebody must have changed another sign before we got there.

Somebody's cheated.

Well, it's not my fault if some people are dishonest. Get ahead of us now.

Or we just turn around and go back.

No, no, no. Chance it. Take that road.

Well, this is swinging, dear. Mm -hmm.

Not very swinging.

Get a move on. That's what the crew said.

Get a move on.

Golding? The village of Golding. All right, get on!

The village of Golding. Mr. Smith, hammer.

I've always been fascinated by men of action. Men who get up and go.

Sounds as though most of them got up and went.

Well, yes, I've had rather a run of bad luck.

There was that parachutist, for instance, desperate to break the record

delayed drop.

And did he? Oh, he broke it all right.

But unfortunately, his neck as well.

Mr. Smith's hammer.

What do you think it means?

Smith and Hammer? Smith and Hammer? Well, what does that conjure up to you?

Um... A blacksmith!

Smith Hammer.

Hammer.

Look. Balance.

Of. Fun.

At. Treat of. Fun. Come on. Wait.

But Mrs. Peel's ahead of us.

And Steve is right behind us.

Can't be too far behind.

Well, this will narrow down the opposition.

Steed?

Not a word.

Over there.

Great.

Steed?

Look what I found, Steed. It's supposed to be lucky.

Hang off me.

Twist me, you fool.

Careful. Go on.

Well, it is supposed to be lucky.

We have to get them.

They can't be far ahead.

Now, if we can only get at the pressure... Oh, they can't get far.

I sugared their petrol.

You what?

Well, it isn't exactly that I wanted to cheat.

Although a thousand guineas would buy a lot of hats.

But I am so used to giving sugar lumps to horses, and cars are a sort of

aren't they?

And when I saw that lonely little car standing there sugarless, I just

naturally...

Hey!

Watch it!

Well, that's what paid to the opposition. From now on, it's plain

Any plain sailing?

They told me this windscreen was bulletproof.

It's a farm, all right.

Bottom of the hill, just the other side of this wood. Do you see any of the

others? No, not a thing in sight. We're way ahead of the field. All on our own.

Where do we start?

I don't know. You'll get it as good as mine.

That was fun.

Right, I'll start here. You try the other ones.

Barrels of fun.

Back at my place.

What a shocking place to hide the treasure.

Mike!

Mike!

Mike!

Mike!

How did he look?

Yeah, in the storeroom. I was looking around and I found a... You found?

A barrel with something written on the bottom of it. The clue, I think.

It's too heavy for me to shift. You can't miss it. It's the one there is

Oh, Miss, I think so.

My Cobra, Miss, he's an imposter.

You must stop him getting the treasure. You must.

Are you sure you're all right?

Don't worry.

I'll stop him.

Sir,

madam, explain.

Have you ever woken up, sir, and realized it just wasn't going to be one

days?

And then I saw Coburn shoot at you, sir, and I followed him here.

And that's when he attacked me.

And then Mrs. Peel arrived.

Where's Mrs. Peel now?

She drove back towards the house, sir.

Nice bit of driving, Mrs. Peel.

Bates wouldn't tell me where the treasure was.

Maybe you will.

Oh, you're such a splendid driver.

Almost as good as Edward.

Another fiancé.

He went off on safari, determined to bag a rhinoceros.

It bagged him.

You are being stubborn, Mrs. Peel.

That's unfortunate. You see, I haven't much time.

No time for finesse, for gentle persuasion.

The final clue, Mrs. Peel. You will tell me the final clue.

Better concentrate on the road, Mrs. Peel.

Just a mild shock at the moment.

Nothing to worry about.

Let's push the speed up, shall we?

and increase the voltage.

The next shock won't be the plant.

I hate to tell you, but that opposition you lost...

to interest you. Oh, come on now, Mrs. Peel.

I've no loyalties.

I sell to the highest bidder.

I keep my ear to the ground, my eyes open.

When I saw you and Steve go off on a treasure hunt with two of the opposition

tailing you, then there's got to be something in it for me.

It's obviously not going fast enough.

clue, Mrs. Peel.

What is it?

They're gaining.

Talk.

What about the weather?

This is going to be very unpleasant for you soon, Mrs. Peel.

I do.

My patience is wearing thin, Mrs. Peel!

You can't afford one slip, one mistake.

Tell me where it is and you're free.

You stay here.

Oh, be careful. I don't want to lose you too. You're right. Let's just stay good

friends.

Mrs. Peel, you do realize in a few moments you're likely to die.

I say, you're awfully good at it.

Switch it off!

I warn you, I'm simply hopeless at mechanical things.

I've done it!

Don't touch me!

It's no good. It just keeps going round and round.

I've just been introduced to a rarity from Reed. Gene, the voltage control.

The voltage control? Yes, the voltage control.

Oh, that. I disconnected it.

You what?

Ah.

Each grape individually crushed.

So that's how you do it. The custom, I believe, is to toast the glorious

What about the treasure?

Well, the final clue was, what a shocking place to hide the treasure.

What a shocking place to hide the treasure.

You're warm.

Very cold.

Getting warmer.

Warmer.

Fizzling hot.

Open sesame.

Oh! Hey, treasure trove.

Finders keepers.

There we are.

Oh, look!

Oh, super!

Condolation prize.

It's only a powerful motor.

Exceptionally. You have to pass the test to use it.

It's a bit noisy, isn't it?

I said it's a bit noisy!

You can't have economy in silence!

5 ,000 shaves to the gallon. One million whisker service, only once a year. Fast

down the straight, snippy round the curves, four forward speeds and reverse.

Reverse? What on earth does reverse do?

Well, now you come to mention it, I haven't the slightest idea.

Reverse.

Well, are you ready, then, Mr. Peel?