Original subtitles

I swear it's the truth, Steve.

Look, ask Emma. She'll confirm it. Emma will confirm what? The name of this

monstrosity. A portrait of the artist as a young man.

Poor fellow.

Steve refuses to believe it's a self -portrait. Terrible thing to do to

And in bronze, too. It was done at the height of his career. It looks as though

it was done at three o 'clock in the morning with a flaming hangover.

Oh, I don't know.

It has a certain appeal.

Appeal? A man doesn't have to be handsome to be attractive.

There's a sort of... Ugliness for its own sake.

And if you look closer, you'll find a sense of humour.

And the eyes are kind.

It hasn't got any eyes.

Now, that interests me.

Oh, why?

Everything you say interests me.

And particularly what it is you find attractive in a man.

How's business, Paul?

It's booming.

It always is.

Oh, you give me too much credit.

But I've no illusions about myself.

I'm a sort of parasite, really.

I feed on other people's talents.

Invest in them. Well, I've very little talent on my own. Unless it's the

to surround myself with beautiful things.

But what are you two up to these days? How's business for you?

Well, uh... Oh, I'm sorry. I've embarrassed you. It's probably all very

-hush, and I shouldn't have asked. Oh, it's not all that secret.

You must have heard about the missing scientist.

Professor Jedwick? Mm -hmm. Yes.

What's the true story? Has he defected?

Mislaid. The Ministry prefer to say mislaid. Makes it less permanent.

Excuse me.

Paul Beresford.

Yes, he's here. Hold on.

Steve, for you.

Thank you.

Hello?

Yes.

When?

Who was he?

Right, we're on our way.

Very sorry, we have to leave you now.

So soon?

Well, not bad news, I hope. Well, it'll be all over the papers tomorrow, so

there's no harm in telling you.

Another scientist has disappeared, Dr. Russell.

Sorry to break up your evening. There'll be another one.

Good night, Paul.

Good night, Stephen. Good luck. Thank you.

Good night, Paul.

Surely Stephen handled this alone.

He could, but I mustn't let him find out.

Good night, Emma.

I didn't have my own strength.

You're not the only one, it seems.

Well, whoever it was was in a great hurry to get to Russell.

And get him they did.

All the violence and no blood.

Let's hope he's still alive.

I wish I had that optimism.

You like Beresford, don't you?

Yes, why?

Don't you?

He has a good line in Clarice, particularly the 29th.

He's charming, witty and intelligent. There's nothing to dislike about him, is

there? No.

But if I try hard enough, I'm sure I'll find something.

Oh, there seems to be no link here between Professor Chadwick and Dr.

Except that both of them are missing.

But why?

Where's the common factor?

They're poles apart. Take Chadwick.

Chadwick's a physiologist. Knows more about anatomy than any man alive.

Russell here is an engineer.

Give him any problem in his field and he'll solve it.

Now all... My need is an electronics expert, Benson, and I shall have a

set. I've located the man you need. Good.

His name's Neville.

Dr. Neville.

An ingenious idea, Benson, the cardiograph.

A man's heartbeat, as distinctive as his fingerprint.

Once programmed, he can find a man in a city of ten million.

Are you coming up?

No, it's not the time for a glass of claret, even at 29.

No, I think I'll stay here.

Yes? They both come back.

And the fire will haunt you back at any moment.

You've got to get rid of them.

It's all right. Don't worry about that. I'll deal with it. Fine.

Emma, my dear. I'm sorry to have startled you, but the door was open.

delightful surprise.

It's not a social visit, I'm afraid. I left my purse here last night. Your

purse? Your purse?

Well, it should be here somewhere.

Ah, here it is, Emma.

Thank you so much.

I'll see you again.

Goodbye. Goodbye, Emma.

I see.

Yes, I've got that.

It's been a third victim, Dr. Neville, within the last hour.

If we hurry, we may pick up a fresh trail.

It was close.

Betty, I told you it was a mistake to get the nurse to eat a Mrs. Peel.

Cultivating their friendship like that.

Cat and mouse, Benson.

The game of cat and mouse.

The roof was shattered.

Split asunder.

Well?

Well? What could have done that?

If we cast our minds back... To a nine -letter word beginning with C.

Cybernaut. The invention of the late, unlamented Dr. Armstrong.

But he's dead. We saw him killed.

Well, someone has inherited his know -how.

Even if that was true, why kidnap Chadwick, Russell and Neville?

Come in, gentlemen.

It is it.

Please, no questions.

Not yet.

There's something I want you to see.

The epitaph of a very great man.

A genius.

I see you recognize him. Dr. Clement Armstrong.

The most brilliant automation expert of our time.

Amongst other things, he invented the Cybernaut, an automated robot.

The most efficient of killers.

His brainchild.

Yet his own destruction.

Dr. Clement Armstrong.

Videotapes ran continuously to pinpoint errors within his factory.

It was typical of the man.

Methodical, incisive, nothing left to chance.

And yet... In that you've just seen, they also

recorded the manner of his death.

An untimely death.

Benson here worked with him. He'll tell you he was a man of vision, genius.

Clement Armstrong was my brother.

That's why you're here.

Before each of you is £100 ,000 in cash.

I'm prepared to double it, if you are successful.

Successful in what?

Destroying those who killed my brother. Oh, I could have hired some killers,

paid assassins.

But that would have been too quick, and I don't want anything quick, gentlemen.

He would have devised something imaginative, poetic.

You are men of ideas.

Produce me an idea, a new idea.

A rhapsody of suffering.

It's monstrous.

Barbaric. Oh, Dr. Russell, I've offended you. You dissent?

Dissent?

I refuse, absolutely.

Then you are free to go.

There's the door.

Sit down,

Dr. Neville.

I should need another engineer, Benson, but he served a purpose, I think.

I take it, gentlemen, you will be cooperating?

After all, I've had the same request before.

A new idea, new horror.

And for what?

A fitness and a government pension. Ah, you're talking sense, Professor

Chadwick.

Dr. Neville?

You offer us no alternative.

It's settled, then.

And now let me show you your targets for destruction.

John Steed, adventurer, agent extraordinary.

And the most delectable, Mrs.

Emma Peel.

I want them destroyed.

Utterly. Totally.

Agonizingly.

Dr. Russell, dumped back here about an hour ago.

His neck's been broken.

That's the trademark of the Cybernauts.

Well, if they have built another cybernaut, they must have had access to

Armstrong's papers.

I'll check his file.

Where shall we meet?

Well, Paul's invited us over for a drink. I'll see you there, then.

Right.

Will they replace you with, I wonder?

It's all very well for you, I said to him, but if you think I'm that kind of a

girl, well, you're absolutely right.

He didn't take me up on it, though. Kept on asking...

He's so kinky.

Oh, we'll keep you a moment.

Oh, I'll call you back, lad.

Good morning.

Can I help you?

I just love men with big shoulders.

They really...

Bet there'll be hundreds of pictures.

Eh? In the papers, pictures of me.

Ravishing blonde beauty dispends her honour to the last.

What I would have done... Have I got time to change?

Before the photographers arrive.

I've got a super bikini. It's ever so revealing. Do you know I've nearly been

arrested twice wearing it?

Well, there won't be any photographic security, you know.

Oh.

Oh.

What did he look like, this man that you saw? Oh, he was ever so big and strong.

He attacked me.

I could tell I'd inflamed him. His eyes were all misty with desire.

His eyes? You saw his face?

Well, not exactly.

What happened?

Did you get in his way and he pushed you aside like this?

Isn't that what really happened?

he found me madly attractive i'm sure he did he was distracted you see nobody's

ever taken dr garnett away like that before it must have been ever so urgent

know he didn't even have an appointment

well

dr garnett we uh we've explained the situation to him uh he's uh Seen sense.

He'll go along with us. Can't he speak for himself?

Is that so?

You must.

You know alternatives.

I'll help you. Good. After all, research is research, whatever the situation.

And who knows what we discover here may benefit mankind.

A small section of it, anyway.

Whatever you need will be supplied.

You are my guest until your work is completed, when you have devised a new

torment, a means of destroying without killing.

Who?

And here, gentlemen, is your first adversary.

Beautiful, isn't she? It's all right. She can't see you.

Study her.

Study her well.

Why, Emma.

Looking lovelier than ever. How nice to see you again.

Will Steve be joining us? Mm -hmm. Later. Then I have you to myself for a

while. Sit down. Help me help you with your coat. Thank you.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I know this place.

It's an automation expert.

Dr. Clement... Armstrong.

Clement Armstrong. Yes, yes. He approached me once for finance. I wasn't

help him. I was too committed at the time.

But I recall being most impressed by him.

Extremely brilliant.

Exceptional. He was certainly that.

A complete megalomaniac. Government by automation, that's what he wanted.

A madman's dream.

Yes, as you say.

I'm not late, am I? Justin Drysteed.

That's Deed. Yes.

I met him once.

So did I.

The Louisville 28, the pride of the teller.

I'm certainly looking forward to that.

I'm expecting a call. I left your number. Do you mind? Not at all. Liberty

Help yourself.

What's the latest?

Well, the score stands at four.

A fellow called Garnet. It's a Dr. Garnet.

Nothing to show for him, but a hole in the door.

By the way, Paul knew Armstrong.

Really? Oh, very brief acquaintance. He's dead now, isn't he? Well, his work

goes marching on. I'm expecting to find out how when I see his lawyer.

Lawyer? I thought Armstrong was in the automation field. He was.

Well, then how can a lawyer help you? Next of kin. I'm hoping to trace his

of kin.

Steve, look at that.

As an expert, wouldn't you say that was corked?

Indubitably. Not a brave little traveller. Excuse me, I'm so sorry.

I'll just get another bottle.

Can I help you?

No, thanks, old chap.

Only a moment.

I must say, you're very much at home here.

Paul is very hospitable.

Especially if you're fair, female.

And quite beautiful.

You're quite pretty yourself.

I happen to like him.

He's civilized.

Good to be with. Interesting to talk to. And there rests the case for the

defense.

I must say, he took great pains to get to know you.

Now, you know very well we met accidentally at an auction.

And after that, great pains.

Steve, you're jealous.

Oh, no, I wouldn't say that, Mr. Field.

Just thoughtful.

I told you that liar was dangerous.

We should have dealt with him earlier.

Hello, Steed. Conroy here.

You're inquiring about Armstrong's lawyer?

Yes, that's right.

Did you trace him?

Yes. John Hunt.

High Pines, Edgington. Got that?

High Pines, Edgington. Yes.

Thank you very much, Conroy. Goodbye.

Get that address.

Transport him there in a hurry. I'll delay his deed.

You've work to do. Get on with it.

Here we are.

Paul, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I have to go.

That seems to happen every time you come here, Steve.

Oh, look, just one little sip.

Leo, Bill, I'm very tempted. Oh, come on, just a little glass. I mean, you

couldn't possibly open it without me. I'm afraid not, Paul.

Mrs. P will help you out.

Well, there'll be a third time.

Third time lucky.

Bye -bye.

You'll never open it with that.

Keep back.

I'm warning you.

Oh, no, thank you.

I'm driving.

Why bother? I've guest rooms galore.

You're very kind.

I wish you'd allow me to be kinder.

I really must go.

Thank you for a marvellous evening, Paul.

Don't forget this.

Good night, Emma.

Good night.

Yes, Garnet?

I need some equipment.

Oh, we've had an idea, have we?

Yes. And what have you got in mind for Stede, Mrs. Peel?

Well, it's purely theoretical at the moment.

More in the nature of an experiment.

This is a bit costly.

I understood we had unlimited resources.

You'll get what you need.

How's the head?

What head?

I'm numb from ear to ear.

Never tangle with a cybernaut. Tangle? I was almost decapitated.

Well, this eye should... Should be in a glass with a large whiskey wrapped

around it.

All right.

Oh.

Ah, well, it's part of the great tradition. Unless one's head is in two

halves, the show must go on.

Where are you going?

You wrestle with Armstrong's fire, will you?

I'm going off to the ministry.

Oh,

it's you, Mr. Steed.

It is I.

Mr. Conroy in?

Yes.

There's a very good chance that you may be nearly arrested again.

Hello, Steve.

Trying to get some semblance of order into Garnet's papers.

Nothing on him, yes?

No. I was going to ask you about him. Oh, Garnet.

Brilliant fellow.

Ideas, ma 'am.

Ideas? About what?

Anything pertaining to defence or aggression.

And Neville and Chadwick?

Vastly different fields of operation, of course, but... Yes, you'd say they'd

hold the same brief.

They're all what you might call specialists.

In destruction?

Well, you could put it that way.

Here's something very odd.

Garnet's medical file.

The cardiogram is missing.

It's the same with Chadwick and Neville. Their cardiograms are missing too.

Could you tell me some more about these men?

Garnet? Well, he specializes in explosive devices.

I see it, but what does it do?

There.

Stop it!

Stop it!

Stop him!

He's got away.

Then we'll just have to bring him back, won't we?

Dr. Garnett. You.

Steed.

Won't. Don't talk.

I'll deal with him later.

Where's Neville?

He's in with Chadwick.

It's feasible. You're a greener, but it's feasible.

And clever.

Star -bullocked and clever.

Exactly what Beresford wants.

You're like him, worth your... Logical.

That's what I am, logical.

You saw what happened to Russell, and Garnet didn't get very far, did he?

No, no, we have to play along with him.

And then there's the money.

Two hundred thousand.

One could do a lot with that kind of money.

Neville, when it's all over, you could benefit mankind, if you wish.

I trust you are not abusing my hospitality, gentlemen?

On the contrary.

I think we've found the answer, eh, Neville?

A means of destroying Steed and Mrs. Peel?

The ultimate?

I like it, gentlemen.

I like it very much. The very nature of it appeals to me. It's an extension.

They will not die, and yet they'll wish they were dead.

A perpetual torment.

My brother would have approved.

Your idea is worthy of him.

There are still some difficulties.

What sort of difficulties?

Merely details.

Of course... We shall need certain information about them, the conductivity

the skin, epidermal resistance.

How do you propose getting this information?

Well, if it could be arranged that they touch or hold some metallic object, we

could secrete our instruments inside it. Then it's easy.

You shall have your information.

How's the head?

Mmm.

What head?

It's numb from ear to ear. Well, you never should... I know. Tangle with a

cybernaut. The cybernaut's in advance on Armstrong. The cardiograph missing from

the files suggests it's directed by the heartbeat.

That's a handy little toy to have.

Find out anything from Armstrong's files?

Nothing worth pursuing.

But Garnet said something that implied a threat against us.

Us?

Oh, indeed.

Paul here.

Oh, Paul, yes.

It's about Armstrong.

Are you still interested in him? Yes, of course I'm interested. Why?

Well, I may have some information for you.

Can you drop by later?

Be right over.

Good. I'll expect you.

They're on their way.

I know her.

Do you like it?

I prefer the original, but then I'm prejudiced.

Oh. And I meant to surprise you. You certainly have.

It's splendid, but I far prefer the original.

You found out something about Armstrong?

Oh, I thought I had. Turned out to be very untruthful, I'm afraid.

His factory was sold to some warehouse company and everything else went to

scrap.

I'm sorry to drag you over here for that, but there's always the wine.

A loaf of bread and thou.

It's complete.

And the control box will fit into your pocket.

It's very convenient.

So terrifyingly simple.

Merely an advance on the pacemaker.

If a man's heart stops beating, it can be kept going by an electrical impulse.

But the device in this watch is more versatile.

Once switched on, it jams the brain, so to speak.

Takes over the will.

The entire nervous system. And yet they remain conscious. They'll be fully aware

of what's happening to them. Fully aware.

Fully. But unable to resist, they will be no more than puppets.

Or human cybernauts.

Yes.

Human cybernauts. This is first class, gentlemen, but it's only a theory. I

would like a practical demonstration.

A practical demonstration? How could that be possible without a human guinea

pig? But we have a human guinea pig, Professor Chadwick.

And why not, Garnet?

Right then.

No, Professor Chadwick.

You demonstrate.

Right. But humans, I...

It's hot.

You've killed him.

It is well to know the limits of this device. I regard it as a full test and a

successful one. Well done, gentlemen.

Thank you.

Benson, exchange this with Steed's watch tonight.

And Mrs. Peel?

I'll deal with her personally.

But, Paul, I couldn't.

I couldn't possibly... You don't like it?

Well, of course I do, but... Then accept it in the spirit it is given, as a mark

of my esteem and my admiration.

I, um... I ask only one thing in return.

Wear it for me tomorrow?

Exactly as I found it, Mrs. Peel.

Are you sure there's nothing missing?

Not a penny piece.

Very mysterious.

Very.

Lunch is at one.

When Paul phoned, I was in two minds.

Oh, why?

There's an old saying, three's a crowd. Of course, there's equally an old

saying, safety in numbers.

What's the time?

12 .30.

Oh.

Paul? Hmm.

He practically trusted on me.

Well, he could have stepped aside or at least thrust it back.

I just might do that.

I'll get my coat.

I should say they're about ready to leave.

So let's put your brainchild into action... now.

Let it be.

It should be here at any moment.

If it operates over the distance... It will. It will.

I hope so.

I do hope so.

Here.

With deed.

What's happened to deed?

I don't know.

You said nothing could go wrong.

It could be a loose connector.

Perhaps he dropped it. It's a very delicate mechanism.

Delicate? It does work.

You can see.

My dear Emma.

A trifle late, but you're forgiven.

And wearing my gift, I see. Thank you.

A very special one, as you must have guessed by now.

You can hear me, Emma?

Yes, I see you can.

Good.

You obey me immediately.

I like that.

Is anything more gratifying than obedience from a beautiful woman?

Beresford!

He's not wearing the watch.

Do you have a spare? Yes.

Yes, I have.

Then why don't you get it?

The Cybernaut?

No.

My new puppet.

Mrs. Peele!

Mrs.

Peele.

What's wrong?

I know you're behaving in a very...

Yes,

my brother, Mr. Thede.

Nice time to tell me. I've waited a long time for this moment, such a long time.

I've been very, very patient.

No ordinary watch, Mr. Thede. It controls the will.

The entire nervous system.

But does it keep good time?

You destroyed my brother, and now is the time for retribution. An endless

retribution. Oh, I may kill you one day, if it amuses me to do so.

But for the time being, you'll be like her, a puppet. Without self -will or

control. A prisoner inside yourself.

Obeying my every whim, my every wish.

Soon you'll envy this steel monster here.

It's just a machine. He has no feeling, no awareness.

Yes, I think you'll come to envy him.

Benjamin.

It's... Steve, you must understand, we had no choice. No, we...

Sorry, Mrs. Peele.

My pleasure.

He's had some kind of nervous breakdown.

I'd say he was on the verge of a total collapse.

My turn.

Any luck, T?

Yes, extremely delicate, but almost complete.

I must say, I never thought you'd do it.

I do say it myself, I have a certain electronic talent.

There, your toaster, good as new.

Yes, but will it work?

As it has never worked before.

You know, we should be very grateful.

For what, Fred?

For living in the 20th century.

The world of thermostats, computers, transistors.

Not forgetting automatic toasters. Indeed not. Hot press toast at the mere

of a switch. Light, medium, well done.

Congratulations.

That's the... First thing Great Britain's ever got into orbit.

Shall I butter them or preserve them for posterity?