Original subtitles

You guys are late again.

This can't happen. And as band manager, I'm going to have to get tough with

this. Hey, sorry I'm late. Shooting some hoops. What? No problem.

Who even cares about that stuff anyway?

The girl named two seconds ago Summer used to, but she's gone now.

Thanks for being cool about it, Summer.

Next time, have a note.

Mr. Finn, you're late.

Rock and roll.

That was your excuse yesterday.

And it's even more true today.

That reminds me. I was talking to Cable, and I noticed a speck of green in her

eyes, and I thought, that's so perfect because she's green. She cares about the

earth, she cares about people, and she likes mustard, and that's important

because I like mustard.

Summer, you okay?

Because you're playing that bongo like it called your mama ugly.

I've been meaning to talk to you about the inferior quality of our instruments.

They're so flimsy.

Those were my favorite sticks.

What do you have to say for yourself, Summer?

Rock and roll.

Wow, really turned that around on me, didn't you?

Hey, sweet lid, Zach.

Oh, this?

I forgot I had it on.

There's a picture of you wearing it on the internet from 30 seconds ago with

hashtag hat life.

Oh, good.

So I'm trending?

Looks good on you, bro.

Want to try it on? No, no, no.

I can never wear hats, just not me. Come on, Freddie. I hate hats!

I'm sorry.

Full disclosure, lice incident.

I had to shave my head.

It's okay.

Besides, if I wore a hat, Kay wouldn't be able to play with my hair.

Uh, yep. These are solid.

We can keep these.

I got your save the imaginary date card.

I know I've said this before, but you should tell Freddy how you feel about

I tried to tell him at the dance.

I don't want to humiliate myself again.

Come on.

When have you ever let humiliation stop you?

Look, he's obviously into Cam right now. I can't just come right out and tell

him I like him. I have to be careful and find the exact right way to naturally

and organically shove us together.

My brother's girlfriend says there are, like, a million ways to let a guy know

you like him without ever saying it. Did it sound legit? She's a junior in high

school, and she DJs on the weekend. So, yeah, she's legit.

Tell me! Hang on, I wrote it down.

Oh, man.

Here are ways girls and guys know they like them.

We're gonna miss out on corn dogs if we don't hurry.

This could be the secret to happiness.

I already know the secret to happiness.

Corn dogs.

If you want to let a guy know you like him without actually telling him, you

have to laugh at his jokes.

Laugh. Find an excuse to casually touch his arm. Maybe pull some lint off his

sweater or something.

Oh, to be the lint on Freddy's sweater.

And always maintain eye contact.

Hmm. Eye contact.

Hmm. Eye contact.

Hmm. My contacts are still bothering me. Whenever I get new ones, it always

takes a couple hours to break them in before I can see.

I am happy to be your eyes until your real ones are working again, ma 'am.

Freshmen out of uniform.

Permission to tase. No.

Do you have a taser, Clark?

I've said too much.

We're swimming on foot.

Oh,

Zach, that hat is not part of the school uniform, is it?

Uh, no, ma 'am.

You seem to be looking at me for an extended period of time.

Yes, that's what I am.

And don't forget it.

Did you see that?

I did.

Just work them in naturally.

Here he comes.

summer for one quick sec but i'm bail out it's not working don't worry i

think i see a little lint on her shoulder

Yeah, in your face, two -sleevers. Two sleeves?

Who cares? Not me.

You know, my favorite shirt is amazing.

I make all my own clothes.

Would you believe I made this dress out of old candy wrappers?

Completely.

It's a little sticky, but it sends a message.

You continue to amaze me, Kale.

Bye, Kale.

Hey, Summer, wait.

I didn't want to say this in front of Kale, but can you meet me after school?

I have something important I want to ask you.

mom really likes you. Okay, well, just in case, I'm transferring schools and

starting a new life. I'm going to need a fake student ID and $10 ,000.

My new name is Jerry.

You can't just run away from this, Jerry.

Mr. Finn, you're a man of the world. You know about the ladies.

Yes. Yes, I do.

Okay, how do you tell if a girl likes you if she's telling you she likes you

without actually saying she likes you? Ah, the old double secret tell no tell

telling, yes.

Yes, indeedy. Uh -huh, I got it.

What do you mean?

We think someone has a crush on Zack.

Yesterday, he was talking to... A gentleman never names names.

Let me ask you a couple questions.

Did she hit you with the peeper's eye contact?

Was there any arm touching? Like, was she going for Lent?

Then she's having a Zack attack.

It's science.

Lady science.

I don't want her to like me.

What am I going to do?

You've got to be a man.

Be honest with her.

Let her down gently.

Actually, you know what? You should just text her.

Hey, thanks for meeting me.

I've been wanting to ask you this for a while.

Wait, do you mind if I film this?

I guess not.

Action. I want to get Kayla a present, and she seems to really like your taste.

So should I get her a stuffed octopus or a gift card for a vegan restaurant?

Yes, I will!

What did you say?

It's our one -month -aversary, and I want to get Kel something special. So

stuffed octopus or gift card?

I am so stupid.

No, it's a tough question.

Octopus. Thanks, Summer. You're a lifesaver.

Ouch,

that's hard.

what kind of girl you like.

Yeah, I do. He likes kale.

So you can move on now.

Oh, I see what you're saying.

I should stop being myself and be who he wants me to be.

No, I'm not saying that at all. That's terrible advice.

No, you're right.

I just have to be even more crunchy and hippie than she is. I have to out -kale

kale.

You're a genius to me.

to show Freddie how great I am on the inside.

Yeah. By making my inside just like Kale's. I'll act like her, I'll think

her, I'll be her.

Thought I had you out of the crazy tree, but you climbed right back up there,

didn't you?

Who wants a taste of Mother Nature?

It's my famous wheatgrass sproutacular shiitake sludge, Gert.

Yummers!

You could really taste the sludge.

You want one, Tamika? I think I have some prawn. pulp last?

Oh, I had a big bowl of frond pulp this morning.

Hey, guys.

Good luck.

I had an ulterior motive for bringing you the smoothie.

I wanted to ask if you'd go shopping with me to find something for Freddy.

our one -month -aversary.

Yay! I know!

The first month with my first boyfriend.

I really want to get him just the right thing.

You two seem like good friends, and you know what he likes.

Well, the evil laugh is a pretty good clue.

You're right.

And when he complains about her awful gift, I'll swoop in with the perfect

present. Dave Grohl's signature series drumsticks.

You're going to use Dave Grohl for evil?

Once he sees those sticks, he'll know that I get him and that we're meant to

together. You can't just give him a gift for no reason.

the lunch menu really it's right there i want you to read please a fried

chicken with macaroni and for dessert a thicker doodle

Listen to yourselves.

One day I'll bet you'll be very happy this young lady was sweet on you. You

need to figure out which one of you is the lucky man.

She is.

Guys, we need to be adults here. This is probably a first relationship for her,

too. You think?

Yeah, that makes sense.

You're just going to talk to her openly and honestly.

And when you do, I'm going to tag along because I'm in too deep.

dumpsters right for freddie what do you think the perfect gift is for him

perfect gifts hmm i hate hat i hate hat i hate hat

a hat he loves hat really i've never seen him wear a hat oh

you don't know him like i know him we always call him freddie the hat guy well

that's a great idea i'll make him a hat from something we find right here

Freddie the garbage hat guy.

If I could just make Freddie's face light up, I'd be so happy to know that

happy.

Wow. You really are a nice person.

So are you, Summer.

I am so glad we met.

My family moves around a lot, so I've had a hard time making friends.

But you seem so cool and confident.

I am not so cool.

Some people think it's annoying because I care so much about everything.

But here you are.

Digging through the dumpster with me.

I'm not here for you. I'm here because I like putting my favorite loafer in a

bucket of oysters.

No, seriously, my foot's stuck in something.

You know, you remind me of McKenna Doherty from Terminal Heart.

That's my favorite book.

Mine, too.

She's always going out of her way to help someone out.

Like you.

Well, she might be a teensy bit better person than me.

There she is.

You guys are afraid of her?

That's insane.

Be honest with your feelings.

Principal Mullins?

We'd like to speak to you about a sensitive matter.

All right. We've been picking up what you're putting down.

What am I putting down?

We felt the vibe.

And we need to know who you're crushing on.

I think there's been a mistake.

No, Mr. Finn. You said you wanted to know.

Principal Mullins, tell us who you've got the hots for.

What? Sorry.

This is kind of awkward.

Time to be a moose.

Mr. Finn, I sincerely hope you don't have these boys asking questions that

yourself want answers to. No, they just...

I'd like us all to pretend this never happened.

I'll leave you gentlemen to answer your own questions.

Good day.

What does it mean when a girl looks over her shoulder and smiles at you?

You know who you should ask?

Tamika's brother's girlfriend.

Is she legit?

She DJs on weekends, so... Let's call her.

What am I doing?

Hale doesn't deserve it.

Am I becoming a bad person?

The answer is yes.

The mirror is taking too long.

The Summer I know wouldn't change herself for anyone.

And she certainly wouldn't try to steal someone's boyfriend.

Why are you just telling me this now?

I've been telling you for three days.

Part of me knew that.

But I didn't listen and now it's too late.

Is it too late?

She gave him the terrible gift already?

No.

She was going to give it to him when the last bell rang.

You still have three minutes.

I can stop her if I leave right now. Yes, go.

Which way is faster, the east hallway or the west hallway? Will you go?

You know you're my best friend, right?

Don't give him that.

Give him this.

Trust me.

Of course I trust you.

You're my friend.

Hey, what's in the box?

It's a present for you.

Cool, I got you this.

Oh, Freddy, I love him.

Is he endangered?

He was the last one on the shelf.

Good enough.

Dave Grohl's signature series drumsticks?

You know me better than I know myself.

I'm just going to let you have your moments.

Happy month of birthday, Kale.

Happy month of birthday, Freddie.

You did the right thing.

Yeah, I know. I'm a good person.

I guess my reward is knowing that.

This is your reward.

This is kind of cute.

It's made from garbage, isn't it?