Original subtitles

Yeah, the guy just put it in, Rallo. My pop's really gonna be proud of that,

wouldn't he?

Oh, 35 years in the same business.

I'll tell you.

Yep. 35 years ago today, my father started this business, Rallo. A poor man

nothing.

Yeah. Looked like he still hung on to it.

Hey, come on, Rallo. Don't go putting it down, man. I'm proud of my father. Did

you get the ring? The ring?

Oh, is he? Yeah, he's upstairs watching the Jackie Robinson story for the 23rd

time on the Monday morning movie.

Slide, Jackie, slide!

He really takes that picture seriously. Here it is.

Ooh, Raul, that is bad.

That's one of the best there is. It's got 35 small diamonds in the initials.

for each year.

And for the price that we paid for it, it was a steal.

Oh, that's close.

Hey, Rollo, you didn't. If I didn't get this owner up enough, I hope lightning

strike me down right now, this second.

Time's up.

I

thought

I heard you talking to somebody.

Hey, Mr. Sampson, this is a very important day for you, huh?

Why, are you going to Europe?

Hey, Pop Rollo's my friend, man. Why don't you try and make him feel at home?

I'm sorry, son.

Rollo, feel at home. I do.

Well, would you do me a favor?

Certainly. Will you take the garbage out?

Well, of course. Where is it? In your shoes.

Hey,

man, that's all right. I was leaving anyway.

Hey, later.

How about never?

One dummy ain't enough in this house. You gotta bring home Super Dummy.

Well, Super Dummy chipped in with Regular Dummy and some of your other

and we got you a little present.

Happy anniversary, Pop.

Uh, where the present? Did you drop it?

I wanted to shake your hand.

Well, thanks. Where the present?

Hey, don't worry about the present, Pop. You'll get that tonight.

Oh, I know.

You're giving me a surprise party.

But I don't like surprise parties. I just like the presents.

No, there's not going to be no surprise party. Just a few of your friends are

coming over here tonight for a little get -together.

Now, why'd you have to tell me that for? Because you just said you don't like

surprises. No, but you're supposed to trick me.

See, you're supposed to have a fake hernia attack and then send me over to

Julio's to borrow his trust.

And when I get back, all y 'all in the kitchen with valuable presents, pile

high.

This high?

This time.

Well, hi.

One?

Yeah, we all chipped in and got you this one present.

Well, where is it?

You can't see it until tonight. But if you come over here, I'll show you the

present I got for you. You mean you got another present besides the one you

chipped in for? That's right.

Listen, son, I hope you didn't spend too much money on me because you need it

for yourself and your future.

window what the hell we need a new window would you open the door and take

look at it oh son

that's beautiful that's beautiful stanford is done established

1939.

i'll go outside and see if it works of course the window works what do you mean

well i just go outside and i look through the window and you hold up that

present And I'll see if I can see it clearly.

Hey, Papa, don't forget about that other present till tonight. Now, come on in

the kitchen, because I fixed you a special breakfast.

Okay.

good son Lamont. Yep.

Look at there. Ham and eggs and cornbread with blue bonnet on it.

And a yellow hand grenade.

That's a papaya.

Oh, a papaya.

Well, where's my present?

Hey, Pop, would you forget about the present and just enjoy your breakfast?

Listen. Let me ask you something. Didn't you have to make it pick up around 10 o

'clock? Oh, man, I almost forgot about it.

Wow. Hey, Pop, I want you to do me a favor. What? When I leave here, promise

that you won't look for the present. I promise you I ain't look for no present.

Because if you find it, you disappoint everybody.

I'm not going to look for nothing, son. I promise you that. I ain't going to

look for nothing till you leave.

I can't help it if I trip over a present.

Now, where could I trip over a present?

Let's see, now.

Rollo came in. We were talking, probably.

And I said, slide, Jackie, slide.

Rollo left. And then he went in his pocket.

And we walked around the kitchen.

I was first.

world's smallest hubcap.

I promised Lamont I wouldn't look for it, so I shouldn't open it. And he

me.

But he ought to know better than to trust me.

Wow.

Look at that. What I've always wanted.

A signaling ring with my own initials. Look at that.

FF.

If I didn't care.

And would I be sure that this is love?

That's it for the dinner show.

Hey, Freddie. Best felicitations on this auspicious day commemorating the

origination of your very successful entrepreneurial enterprise.

Come on in.

Say, Fred, I'm afraid we got some disappointing news for you. Hold it,

In other words, Fred, we have some disappointing news for you.

Listen, we're not going to be able to make that little party of yours tonight.

We're going to have to cancel out.

86 it, as they say in the streets.

The department's putting us on a new shift. We've got to cover that big

at the Royal Wilshire Hotel.

Yeah, the tiptoe burglar struck again.

And y 'all got to cover that.

Yeah, well, it wasn't just an ordinary robbery.

No, no, this was a very big tear -off. Rip -off. Oh, yeah, rip -off.

As a matter of fact, they ripped off one of the most legendary stars of stage,

television, and radio.

ever to grace his profession.

Don't tell me they finally got rid of a knight.

No, it was Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra. They really cleaned him out, too.

Wallet, cufflinks, watches, everything. And to top it off, a $50 ,000 signet

ring.

Poor Sinatra.

Poor Sinatra.

He lost his wallet and his ring.

Lost a chance at the vice presidency.

It's been a very bad year.

Well, that's right, Mr. Sanford, but happy anniversary to you. And I'm sure

you're going to enjoy the gift that we all chipped in for.

A gift? For me?

What a surprise.

And I know you're going to love it. Lamont's friend, Rallo, picked it up

one of his contacts.

Rallo's contacts?

The only way to contact his contacts is to contact a warden.

We'll see you later, Alley Cat.

Alligator. Oh, yeah, alligator.

Gator. Gator rhymes with later.

That's

beautiful.

Sure wish Rollo didn't have nothing to do with it.

And would I be sure that this is love.

I should have been a singer.

Yeah, just like Frank Sinatra. You got a ring with initials and diamonds all

over it, just like mine. F .S.

Yes, that's funny.

No, that ain't funny.

This is Frank Sinatra's diamond ring.

Rollo stole it.

Rollo's a tiptoe burglar.

And Lamont is receiving stolen goods.

He's going to jail. My son's going to jail.

He's going to jail in the prime of his life.

Oh, who's going to drive the truck?

Who's going to guard this empire?

I better get these rings back to Frank Sinatra and try to save Lamont.

Oh, goodness.

But first, one more time.

And would I be true?

And I was just returning Mr.

Sinatra's jacket.

See, I forgot my keys, and so I was just trying to use... I was just using this

master pen.

Master pen? That's a safety pen.

That's a safety lock.

Do you have the keys to the open door for me? Yes, but where's his jacket?

Oh, here's his jacket.

This thing is Frank Sinatra's jacket?

Yeah, and he got his pants to match it.

This is the jacket that he does his act in.

You're kidding.

No. You ever hear him sing, I did it my way? Oh, yeah.

Well, this is the jacket he did it on.

Look at that great picture of Spiro T.

I wonder where he keeps his jewelry box.

you were taken.

No, I wasn't taken. I returned it. See, I'm the valet. See there? Clean and

fresh. Okay, wise guy. If you're returning it, then who stole it?

Stole it?

Stole what?

The ring.

Now, somebody stole the ring.

If you didn't do it, somebody else did. Now, who's in it with you? No, nobody.

I did it. I did it myself.

Oh, come on. I think you're trying to cover up for someone.

No, I ain't.

You expect me to believe that you're the tiptoe burglar?

Well, I can prove it.

If you're taking me in, let's go.

Hey, that's it, Bubba. That's perfect.

Hey, Lamont.

You sure you thought your partner was going to be a party? Yeah, I told him

morning, Bubba.

Hey, man, maybe he drank one of your Bloody Marys, Bubba, and crawled off to

hole and died.

Let me taste that, man. What's the matter? What's wrong with my Bloody

of Buddy Murray.

A bottle of vodka and a bottle of ketchup.

I don't know where he could be, Rollo. I really don't know, man.

Hey, man, maybe he got kidnapped. You know, everybody gets kidnapped lately.

Who would kidnap my father?

Some guy who don't get bored too easy.

I don't understand it, man. He left here at 10 o 'clock this morning.

Man, don't worry. He's probably on his way here right now. Come on, cool it.

Yeah, Lamont, as long as we're waiting, how about showing us that ring?

Oh, yeah, that's a good idea, Bubba.

It's gone.

It's gone? Where is it? I don't know. I put it in that cushion this morning.

Hello?

Pop, I'm here waiting for you.

You gonna be a little late?

calendar.

And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?

Would all this be true if I didn't care for you?

That is so good.

So good. You ought to hear me sing with my ring on.

Tell me something. What are you in here for, anyway?

I'm in here for criminal innocence.

Oh, criminal innocence.

Yeah. That sounds like a new one.

What kind of rap is that?

That's my return in the stolen ring to a fellow singer.

Oh. Oh.

You stole from one of your buddy's singers.

I didn't steal it. I was returning it. I was just protecting someone who did.

Oh. Oh.

Hey,

why don't you go back over there?

Your breath smells like you've been drinking Tidevore.

Listen, in case we get separated, I'm going to give you one of my cards

maybe I can be of further service.

Safety Babcock School of Driving.

Okay, Fred Sanford, let's go.

I want to confess.

It was a one -man job, and I'm the one man. So you're the tiptoe. I'm the

tiptoe. Fred Sanford. Well, my Sanford didn't have nothing to do with it. He's

nice son.

He's over here now. You'll meet him later.

He's coming over from choir practice. Sure.

And in the night, he's going to collect some money for the March of Dimes.

That's a good boy. I'm telling you, many times I saw him sit down and just read

the Bible and draw pictures of Jack Webb.

You know this guy?

Of course we know him. Otherwise, would we say, hey, Fred?

You should have picked up on that, Maury. He's a friend of ours. Yeah,

Hey, uh, listen, Maury, uh, could we talk to him for a minute? Oh, but keep

eye on this ring.

Yeah, okay.

Evidence. All right.

Hey, uh, Fred, what happened?

We heard you got picked up on a 459 breaking an entry. That's true. Every,

every, every number of it. I can't believe you're the tiptoe burglar.

Well, I am. But how? The tiptoe burglar struck in New York last week.

That was me.

Well, how did you get to New York?

I tipped in.

Hey, Rallo, baby, what's happening?

Hey, what's going on, Snake?

I got me on a gold wrap, baby.

Drink it too much.

Hey, Pop, what are you doing here?

Lamont, go home.

Go home? Would somebody tell me what's happening? Bad news, Lamont. Some of our

boys picked him up at the Royal Wilshire Hotel about an hour ago in the

possession of some jewelry.

allegedly the property of one Francis Albert Sinatra, alias Old Blue Eyes.

Hey, Martin, you've got to be kidding, man. There's got to be some mistake.

No, son, it's true. I did it.

Say, would you tell me what's going on here, Smith?

Lamont, just relax and let me handle this.

Now, Mr. Sanford, when did you steal the alleged jewelry?

It's allegedly steal the jewelry.

Yeah, that's right. I missed that on the exam, too.

Supposed to be my straight A at the academy.

Well, see, I stole it last night.

Because I like to tiptoe through the twilight.

I saw your home last night.

Yeah, until you went to sleep.

And when you went to sleep, I tiptoed down to the hotel.

Smitty, what's he talking about?

This ring, Lamont. He says he stole it from Frank Sinatra. He didn't steal that

ring from Frank Sinatra. He got that from behind the sofa at our house.

will you shut up? You ain't had nothing to do with it. I stole it. Me, not him.

What's wrong with you?

Listen. Oh, listen.

Lock me up.

Lock me up. You have intensive care, Sam?

Lamont, was this ring in your house? Yes, it was.

And I put it there, not you, me.

Pop, are you trying to protect me from something?

Don't you know when to shut up?

Wait a minute. I know you. You think Rollo stole that ring, don't you?

Rollo?

Steal?

You think I'm involved in it, and you're trying to protect me.

Here's what I'm saying.

Just remember, everything you say is going to be held against you.

Like some of these.

Smitty, weren't you with Rallo when he bought the ring?

Well, we met him when he came out of the jewelry store.

Is this that ring?

Yes, it is.

Hey, Rallo, is this the ring you bought for my pop?

Yeah, that's the one that has 35 tiny diamonds in the initials.

And where did you buy the ring?

Bob's Precious City.

Hey, you can call him and verify it, Hoppy. No, wait a minute. There's an

way to prove it than that. There's a jeweler's glass in this drawer. I can

you in a second how much it was. Now, we all know what we paid for it.

Yeah, well, uh, see you later. Uh, Rollo? Uh, just a minute.

Uh, you're, uh, taking the ring.

Yeah, well, I was gonna take it back in return because it's tainted.

Uh, Rollo, let me have the ring.

Uh, Brother Smith, look at it through the glass and tell us what's happening.

Uh -oh. Oh, yeah, well, I'll see you later, Mike. Uh, Rollo?

See you later.

Yeah, that's frankly not just a diamond ring.

This is nobody's diamond ring. This is paste.

Paste?

Paste? Yeah, paste. It's fake, phony, glass, worthless paste.

You mean to tell me I've been doing my imitation of Inkspots with pasties?

You mean to tell me all y 'all chipped in and couldn't get for $15?

The least you could do is give me a $100 diamond ring.

Well, actually, we did pay more than $15 for it.

A lot more.

You got to think of my overhead, you know, like mileage, phone calls,

Insurance. Now, insurance.

When a man's right, he's right.

You're going to need some insurance because I'm thinking of performing a 4

-9.

What's a 4 -5 -9?

Breaking and entering your skull.

Want me to help you, son?

No, Pop. Look, you've helped me enough already this week.

I have been wonderful, haven't I?

You really were, Pop. You know, taking the blame like that and all for me, I

really moved.

Now, if you could move Rollo out your life, then you'd be doing something

Hey, Pop, Rollo didn't mean any harm, man. Well, he's just no good. I just

want to see you hanging around with him.

Who is it?

Rollo! Ain't no way you're getting through that door.

you feel, man, and I'm very sorry, so I brought you an extra anniversary gift.

This is the gift?

Yeah, and that's not an ordinary baseball, and I look at the signature.

Jackie Robinson, Evansfield, 1947.

Hey, that's beautiful, Rollo. Yeah, I bought it off of Leroy Whitney. He used

be a groundskeeper at Evansfield.

Hey, Rollo's real nice.

I thought you'd like it.

I think I feel a little tear in my eye.

You deserve the best, Pop.

Hey, Rollo, would you give me a hand with this stuff? You grab the little box

here.

Hey, hey, just a moment, Rollo. Yeah.

Uh, how do you spell Jackie?

Uh, J -A -C -K -Y.

Yeah, that's right.

That's the way you spell Jackie.

But that's not the way Jackie Robinson spells Jackie.

What's the difference?

The difference is that you are no good cheating live.

And on the other hand, you're a no good lying cheater.

Yeah, you probably stole this baseball off of some kid.

Well, all that might be true, but that's one place where I draw the line. At

least I don't go around boring the world with no jive imitation of the ink spot.

What do you mean jive imitation of the ink spot? Wait a minute, you forgot

something. What?