Original subtitles

Big win, Ilo. Do you realize that there's not one picture of us on your

Instagram? Do you want an online relationship or one in real life?

I knew that proper thing early on. I did nothing to stop it.

Would you want to hang out sometime?

That sounds good.

Great. I could go in on a date with Ilo's sister.

How'd you finagle that?

I talked about things we had in common. Like anxiety stuff?

Um, you're under arrest.

I have nothing to gain from getting Hook arrested. You already made a play at

his share of the snack bar business.

I'm done.

With all of it.

Alcohol, everything.

He's your hacker?

Don't call me a hacker.

Just a chick with a pink laptop.

There's a whole email chain between your mother, someone named Zerber. This

whole back and forth is to attract off a crotch.

I hate when people tell me to enjoy these years because they're going to be

best ones of my life. How could this possibly be the time of our lives? The

pressure on us is absolutely insane.

Our parents.

our teachers and coaches, our friends.

It's piling on top of us from every angle.

It's a wonder more of us don't crack under the pressure.

You look like a crazy person. What's with your smile?

Oh, wait till you see.

It's so stupid, I don't want to spoil it. Okay, well, I mean, I do love

Oh, this one is beyond stupid.

Shit. What kind of idiot puts his jersey number on his graffiti?

Hi, love.

I mean, that doesn't add up.

Why would Ilo risk getting suspended and not only missing a bunch of games, but

missing the game against Mountain View?

Because karma equals bitch.

Okay, let's maybe not burn him at the stake so quickly, okay?

You were into what he was throwing you. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so angry

about it.

I'm just saying, Ilo's going all state. The game this week is for counties. Why

screw with that?

Those other two morons didn't paint their numbers up there.

Because Ilo thinks he's the man.

Talk to Big Al, and he can for sure only make out your two cohorts. They won't

know anything.

I'm the one who painted it.

Then you're even more lucky you got me, right?

Remember that when you go big time. Well, what about the other guys?

Gus is your boy, right?

Yeah, he'll have your back.

Look, put that behind you. I need you to focus on Mountain View tonight, okay?

Yeah, but I don't think it's fair that I'm getting off and they're not.

If the star football player gets off, this is all kind of wrong and it's going

to piss a lot of people off. Well, for every one of them, there's two more who

want to see Ilo win a county championship.

Meanwhile, those two lunch bags get screwed because they're backups.

This is a big steaming pile of entitlement bullshit.

So how long is the suspension?

Two weeks.

Apparently Big Al wasn't sure Ilo was there.

He was there.

Well, there or not, Gus took the fall.

He said he did it and painted Ilo's number as a joke.

Yeah, I say we find Big Al and we get him to admit on tape that the prick face

did it. And then we expose the audio to the crotch. It's a little revenge -y.

Well, the crotch isn't posting anything. At least I want to do something.

If Ilo really was there, Gus is a good friend for covering for him.

Yeah, and Ilo is a shit friend to Gus.

I would never let one of you guys take the fall for me. Look, I get that you

hate him for whatever happened between you two, but this can't actually

you. What?

I mean, some people just get special benefits.

You know, actors, millionaires, athletes.

It's the way the world works.

That the girl with entitlement's hit.

Okay, that escalated quickly.

You know what? Maybe I am being a little revengey. You want to know why?

Because every guy that I think is going to be cool to me ends up being a piece

of shit.

And then suddenly, Ilo comes along and I'm in this secret thing with this guy

that half the school is in love with.

You don't mean... Only to find out that in the end, he's just using me to get to

Farrah. So, yeah, maybe Ilo's entitlement pisses me off a little bit

you.

I didn't know all that stuff.

Should we do something?

No. Let's let her go.

Too bad you lost two players today.

Who cares about Gus? He's just the backup kicker, right?

It is what it is. Is it?

Oh, because I remember you showed up to school on the first day of third grade

wearing a button -down and a tie.

Oh, God, you remember that, don't you, Sully?

Oh, and then Gus ran to his Gabby to grab you a T -shirt so that you wouldn't

look like a total dork.

Didn't he quit soccer where he was the starter?

But he could be the backup field goal kicker because you asked him to.

You done yet?

I can't imagine a suspension looking so good on Gus's college app either.

Where are

your balls?

and i pulled up close to my body you can't see them from the street level

something already you can't let servers shut down the garage i have nothing to

say really there's a football scandal with a possible cover -up involving a

giant phallic symbol back up i have to go to home ec you pretty much have one

power at the school use it protect it don't do nothing with it look i need you

to be the guy behind it it's kind of our thing on the email service

I'm so glad we ran into you. I wanted to float something by you.

Float away.

How would you feel about reopening the other half of the snack bar?

I assume you mean Hook's half.

He gave up the business on his own. We had nothing to do with it. You're in on

this, too?

Preferably. Okay, why? I don't want to work nights all summer at some crappy

barista job just to make spending cash.

This is a faster and way more effective use of resources.

And the me of it all?

I watched your boyfriend sell the bottles. I just don't know how he got

goes in them. That's the me of it all. Well, look, maybe you could talk to him,

and he could hook us up with his supplier.

He's going to say no, flat out. I don't think you will.

Not with the deal we're offering him.

Yeah, I heard about your last deal. He would be a silent part. Actually, more

than silent. He would be totally invisible, like me.

It's all reward, no risk.

You get him to hook us up with this guy, and he gets a dollar per sale.

I'm not sure that'll be enough.

For doing nothing?

Ask him.

And you can volunteer in the legit side of the Snack Shack with me. That way you

know how much money is coming in.

I know one thing about your boyfriend.

And he needs money for college more than any of us.

All I ask is that you at least call him and offer him the deal.

And?

when you mix sulfur with a metal like aluminum, we get an interesting chemical

reaction.

Hey, yo, Josero.

This thing don't bother you?

What? It literally smells like we're inside an asshole.

I spoke to both Gus and Cal last night, and neither of them is giving an inch. I

can't believe Ilo is getting away with this crap.

Farrah, I'm sorry. I just don't think Ilo's getting away with anything.

What do you mean? You don't actually believe him now, do you?

No, I believe that he painted it. I just don't think he did it for shits and

giggles.

Oh, look, the crutch finally woke up. Maybe they know something.

Colin Cowher and Hannah Hampton, new couple alert?

Why are these two nobodies dating more important to the crotch than the ILO

scandal? I have to go.

Sarah, what?

It's just a warning shot.

Aimed right at me.

I should have known when we emailed that psycho, he'd be able to hack into the

crotch. What did the email say? Were there threats in it?

No, not really. I mean, barely.

they hack in i'm not a tech pro okay i knew just enough to stay hidden until

hannah's probably freaking out she can't handle people looking at her now

everybody is look i know that you feel bad for her but we have to focus on a

solution not the damage that we can't control i should have never agreed to

over the crotch i mean what did i think i was gonna get out of power there is no

turning back now we are in this hey look at me i need you here okay

okay okay

Servers is obviously someone in this high school. We just have to figure out

it is.

Is that all?

This guy has tech skills that are way beyond mine.

Then maybe we need to bring someone on board who can match Servers.

If we go to Y with this, there is no turning back. We will be completely

exposing ourselves to her.

Do we have any other choice?

Dude, but I did it, and I don't want you to take the fall from me. All right,

Gus? Look.

Tomorrow, I'm going into the principal and insisting that I was the guy who

painted it. Don't you dare. This game doesn't mean jack shit to me. But it's

important to the whole school. Man, forget the school. We both know it's

more important for you.

What, the recruiters? Could care less about them.

You know people think my getting off is just athletic privilege.

So screw them. Is it privilege that you're running around in 100 -degree

with a parachute wrapped around your knees? I know, man, but you're not

listening to me. I'm trying to tell... No, I'm suspended either way. You don't

make me taking the fall for your dumbass feet for nothing.

You really want to pay me back?

Have a beast game against Mountain View.

All right, man.

Come on.

The real waters go on the left, and the special waters go on the right. I know.

I've watched Hook for weeks. The question is, how do we get the stuff to

into the special waters?

We'll get to that. Now, here's what I say we do.

We? Hook and I made a side deal.

Did not see that coming.

When Hook makes the drinks, he fills the vodka to the label right here.

I say we fill it an inch under.

That increases both supply and, if you think about it, also demand.

But won't people notice it's taking them longer to get buzzed?

Who cares? They have no other choice.

This is a no -competition business.

It's actually genius.

Now, how much cash do you have?

300 bucks.

I'll text Tuck and he'll have his guys meet you in the parking lot.

I was going to run the bleachers.

In wedges?

Yeah, I was going to change.

Why didn't you text me? I would have waited and ran with you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I totally should have.

Wow, what's up with team polo shirts?

Recruiters. Big time ones, too. Pac -12.

Oh, they must be here to see Ilo.

No wonder he had to play this week.

How you doing? Great, Ilo.

I had no idea why we're new.

I know.

I feel like people are looking at me, too.

There's nothing we can do about it now.

But you know how the school is, okay? Something else will come up, and no one

will even think about us anymore.

Hey, uh, before you go, did your brother say anything about us?

Forget it.

Okay. Bye.

I wasn't showing you the ILO photo because of Hannah.

She's in an anxiety spiral.

I can already feel her pulling away.

She realized Hannah's the first girl to show me an iota of interest.

And Sloane Davis rated me a 6 out of 10 in the third grade.

A 6 means interest to you?

I will take what I can get.

Look, if Hannah wants to be with someone who is clearly more than a 6, she's

going to have to learn how to overcome the little things.

I mean, even if they don't seem that little dumb right now.

Yeah, I know.

Thanks for saying I'm more than a sex, by the way. I appreciate the lie.

Wow.

The principal's son is the crutch.

That is so rad.

Which is exactly why this has to stay between us, for obvious reasons.

My family's military.

It's in my blood to keep secrets under intense pressure.

And who knew you were such a badass?

Badasses in my world are always more than a six.

Wait, does Hurley know about all this?

No. She can't know.

Because of the ILO election stuff.

You knew he was seeing Stacey before it was posted.

Yes, which is why we pivoted to Grace.

So, any news about Cerberus? Okay, first of all, it took a ton of deep diving

with some pretty high -grade military software.

What does this sound?

Highly sensitive.

Perhaps the discussion should take place in the chamber.

What's the chamber? Nothing.

He's kidding.

Moving on.

Bottom line it.

I made contact with Deborah.

Seriously?

Yep. Did you get into a meeting with him?

Sort of.

Ooh, Keith. Low tech, but effective.

I don't understand.

Why have you never tried to find the crotch before?

Have I never cared who it was?

Crotch has always been good to me. You know, besides those pervy yoga pics you

put up. People send photos anonymously.

Although knowing Saracen involved does explain a lot about what's been going on

around here.

Where exactly are we going?

Greek mythology, Homer.

What the hell?

This guy's good.

Welcome. Thanks for coming.

So you're Cerberus. I am.

Why'd you post that thing about me and Hannah? That was really uncool.

You threatened me, and I don't like being threatened.

Yet you're okay when you're doing the threatening.

Thick irony, isn't it?

So what do you want from us?

I want in on the crotch officially.

Not happening.

You realize I can just keep posting if I want.

So then why don't you? I mean, you clearly have the skill to make a hostile

takeover. There's more to it than that.

Now please ask the hot one to stop tracking me.

What are you talking about? I'm not stupid.

We're done here.

Well, he called why the hot one so we know he's a dude.

You get anything?

Give me a little time with what I have. I think I can get him.

Wait, wait. Whose cell phone is that?

Green's favorite picture of you.

My mother's phone.

Yeah, that's a picture of you at the beach.

Oh, not a hair on that body, huh?

That was taken a couple of years ago, by the way. All right.

Your new partners want to talk to you. What?

Grace and Stacey?

Partners in what?

Hook's former business.

It's cool with me that you're part of the whole Gracie deal.

How did you know?

Hook called me to make sure that I was okay with it, you know, before I jumped

into bed with them.

I'm sorry.

Now that I hear it, I know I should have told you myself. I wasn't even sure if

I wanted to help them at first. Look, it's cool with me.

Don't even think twice about it.

Are you sure? Because I wouldn't want any of you to think that I was, like, I

don't know, leaving you all for them.

Oh, I don't think any of us thought that.

If you have to go talk to them, go. We'll wait for you.

Okay,

there's

no way you're cool with that.

I know Grace wants to be me, but stealing my friends is a bit much.

Hope you impress those recruiters.

Hey,

Hannah.

May I? Yeah.

Wow, it's pretty exciting that the recruiters are coming to the game

huh? Ilo must be stoked on it. Have the colleges done the home visits yet?

Oregon came last night.

Oregon? Wow, Ilo's been wearing their gear since he was a kid.

Because my dad went there. I didn't dream that Ilo played there.

Well, then it's probably good that Ilo did not spray paint that craft rocket

with guts. Your dad probably would have been pretty pissed if he couldn't play

the game.

You have no idea.

Hmm. Well, I'll wish him good luck.

Um, by the way, I saw that... post about viewing tower his locker is next to

mine and he's a really good kid i'll catch you later

what was that about

it had nothing to do with you you've never said a word to hannah in your

life and i'm supposed to believe that had nothing to do with me actually yes

do realize not everything's about you coward what could it possibly have been

about

I love him. A .K .A. not you. Now I know what's going on with him.

You were trying to get suspended.

You don't want to play tomorrow.

I know why, too.

I love... What is it that you

think you know?

For one, that you're already aware of the fact that you should not be on this

football field tomorrow.

And why is that?

Because you have a concussion.

Maybe a few concussions. You're not sure how many. Come on.

It's why you spray -painted your number on the wall. I mean, you've watched

ESPN, you've read up on it, and you know how hard you've been hit.

Probably why you couldn't smell anything in the chem lab on Tuesday.

What does it matter to you? It's not your head.

Look, why don't you just, I don't know, fake an injury or something? Pretend you

pulled a hamstring.

My father would get an MRI on my injury in two seconds, and I'd be right back on

this field.

And it's not just about him. It's about my coach and the rest of the guys on

this field.

Look, Farrah, you don't get football culture. You play through the pain. I

fake an injury.

Then why not tell them about your head?

Recruiters aren't taking a kid with a concussion history.

It's too controversial right now.

But they wouldn't think twice about taking a kid who gets in trouble for a

little vandalism.

Yeah, trouble's easy. Brain injury, not so easy.

So what was your plan?

I was trying to get suspended to avoid getting hit for a few weeks.

You know, see if the symptoms subside. But I guess now I'll just...

I have to try to avoid taking any hard hits.

That's a wide receiver, a genius move.

What else do you want me to say, Farrah? I don't see any other choice.

Boy,

Hurley is going to love me for this one.

Why is that?

Because I'm going to get you suspended.

But if I get you out of this, I need you to go see a doctor.

And a real one, not WebMD or some shit.

Then once you know what's going on up there, you can tell or not tell whoever

you want.

Okay?

You got it.

Let's go, guys. Come on.

Huddle up.

All right.

Okay, a little higher.

Okay, now lap a little harder.

Great. Good.

That'll do.

Good. Come on. Come on.

Perfect. Yes, that'll do.

All right.

Thanks, man.

Okay. Well, I will send this to Farrah and hopefully get you suspended.

Thanks for this. You know, I appreciate it given how I treated you.

Look, somewhere inside me I knew what you're doing, but I didn't want to admit

it.

That doesn't mean that I forgive you.

But it also doesn't mean that I wish to see your brain any dumber than it

already is.

So I guess we both win.

You're a good friend.

Let's not get too crazy, okay?

I'm having some problems. Put your name on the sign -up sheet.

Great. I'll get back to you when I'm done with all this.

Hello, Cerberus.

Hot Jane found me?

She's better than Mr. Robot.

What do you want, Depankar?

I want a piece of the crotch. You already took a piece.

Without Cowher.

He's the principal's son. I've already seen him hold back to protect her.

So why do you want it?

The crotch holds power, and he's barely tapped into it. Oh, so this is about

power? Well, you know, that dipshit also managed to parlay into a cute

girlfriend, so, you know, there's that.

See, I'm not buying that.

Or, just maybe, I'm just really bored of watching everyone do nothing of

interest around here.

Oh, you're one of those.

Those?

You don't know me at all. I think I might.

You're an internet troll, come to life. And what's better than sitting in your

room, getting people riled up on forums and comment sections?

Doing it to the people where you can see their reactions live.

Am I close?

Not really.

What I don't understand is why do you want a deal?

I mean, it seems like you've got everything figured out. When the school

hired the company I work for to track down the crotch, it took me under, I

know, 20 minutes to find Gower?

But instead of reporting him, I started watching him.

Which led me to watching both of you.

Creepy. Yeah, it's so cute how two locker mates ended up in this together.

And your point is?

Without information, The Crotch is just another blog.

You're the one with the connections. You're the one pulling the strings.

You're the one with the social skills.

I don't care about making a deal with Cower.

I want to make a deal with you.

And what if I don't want to make a deal with you?

I'll expose both you and the principal's son.

Oh, and his mom will... Likely get fired because we all know what happened with

that whole hook spy get debacle.

So yeah, up to you.

Give me the rest of the day.

We'll figure this out.

But for now, we just need to play nice.

It's too much.

I don't want to do it anymore. I'll just hand the drive over, call it a year.

No, you can't do that.

Just status quo it until we figure out our next move, please.

Why? Because you and I both know that the crotch still has power.

And we want to keep it. What power?

You really need to be reminded of it?

Fine.

Post this photo.

It may actually save Ilo's life.

Well, he actually was there.

How's it going to save his life?

Just put it on blast.

Power trio.

Cute. Be nice, Sarah.

What? That was nice. Power trio is a compliment.

Proof? I just can't deny proof.

And look, a photo of Ilo holding a spray can.

Oh, too bad for him.

Good job. Good job to you, too.

The pressure on us must be insane to go through with some of the things we do.

You took a damn picture?

What kind of brainless moron are you?

I can't protect you now.

You're getting suspended.

Sorry, coach.

The pressure is on a completely different level than it was the

generation before us.

It's not surprising considering every little misstep we make gets posted and

will follow us for eternity.

Which is why we never want to let this story get out of our control.

I gave you all day.

I can't do it.

So be it.

At least not like that.

Not without coward.

What are you saying?

The three of us can be the crotch.

We can work it out.

Music featured in this episode of Youth and Consequences.

We could be

the heroes tonight.

We could be the heroes tonight.