Original subtitles

Hello, everyone.

Lovely to meet you.

What shall we do? I want to get these down and get out of here before someone

comes over to commiserate about the tragic loss of the flick shack.

I am really getting the hang of it.

That's just wild. I guarantee you, you'll look back on your first couple of

nuttons and you'll wish to hell things had stayed that way. This has to be our

little secret.

Maybe there'll be something you can do for me one day.

A little quid pro quo.

George.

So, how are you getting on?

First few weeks of a new job are tough, huh? You keep putting your foot in it

and making all these stupid mistakes.

Well, what does it do?

Well, not you. When one starts a new job, one keeps making all these stupid

mistakes. Personally, I think you're doing as well as can be expected, and

shouldn't let anyone tell you different, whether it's through your face or

behind your back.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Robbie.

Anyone catch the news this morning?

The government has revised growth forecasts for next year.

Revised them down?

Way down?

I had you, didn't I?

Yeah, I did.

Seriously, it's all good.

Everything's still moving in the right direction.

I am really not in the mood for Robbie today.

Or any of this.

I wish I was at home, watching repeats of VR.

Am I still love that show?

I'm surprised you knew what she was talking about, Brian.

Last time we were at the pub quiz, we found out you'd never heard of Cheers.

Quiz?

You guys do a quiz?

Yeah.

Where? The Blue Swan.

We haven't been for ages. We never did very well. Correction.

I did very well.

You and Brian were hoping.

The questions never suited me. That's just because they were questions, Tina.

Maybe we should give it another try.

I'd be up for that.

I would not be up for that.

Lawrence, what about you? Would you be any patient?

I used to go quite a lot, actually.

But, nah, my girlfriend wouldn't like it.

I mean, she wouldn't like it if I went out and left her home alone.

Touched a nerve, have we?

I'm not surprised.

You probably wouldn't be any good anyway.

I've got to test the baby now. I'm not ready.

I haven't even packed my bag.

No indication that you're in labour, Leslie, but your arm is definitely

so it's important that you stay calm.

It's the one and only time to fix that bloody carpet.

I said I'm going to go wait over here. It's down the stairs. Oh, no.

Leslie, do you know your baby's sex? I'm going to kill him.

I don't care.

I'm going to take one of his breasts. Leslie, listen to me. Do you know your

baby's sex? No.

Why? What's that got to do with it? I'm just wondering. Are you hoping for a boy

or a girl?

I don't care.

As long as it's healthy.

Yeah, that's the only attitude.

Why don't you take some gas and air? It'll make you feel better. Take a big

breath.

Good woman. And it's good practice for labour.

Have you got all your bits yet?

Your car seat, steriliser, all that?

Yeah, the few things.

I saw this really nice changing table.

Oh, no, don't buy one of those. Take it from me, you'll never use it.

You'll change nappies wherever you happen to be at the time.

On the floor, on a bed, stuck to the traffic light, wherever.

It's a waste of money.

Yeah?

You know what you do want to buy, though? Get as many bales of muglin as

can. Just think of an amount and double it.

You're welcome.

I don't understand. She called round the middle of the night and dragged you

into bed.

Yeah. Then proceeded to have her wicked way with you. I think I cracked a rib.

And left the next day without saying a word.

No, no, nothing.

Is that not brilliant?

No.

But what's she playing at? If she's into me, then why are we pussyfooting

around? And if she's not, then why all the pussyfooting around?

Maybe that's all she wanted.

A woman has needs, Adam.

What about my needs?

What are your needs?

I don't know. I think you do.

You want a real relationship like mine.

Ideally, without all the lying and sneaking around.

Yeah.

All right, then, Dr. Phil.

So what's my next move?

Just listen to your heart do what seems right.

That's all you got?

That's what I did. Look at me now.

Oh, yeah?

You're an example to us all.

Thank you.

Now, I have to get back to work.

Where's that going for you? It's not the job so much, it's the people.

Are you done here? Yeah, thanks. Nice work for you, Lawrence.

You have to put up with people you don't like.

Unbelievable.

Here, Susan, I didn't mean you.

Like, I mean, every day's been good, but today was the best.

Matt was really complimentary.

Charlie, not so much, but I'll win him round.

How? What do you mean, how?

How will you win him round?

By being impressive and with my natural charm.

But what if you didn't have any natural charm?

Of course you'll ring around, Mum.

Sounds to me like you're doing a great job. All right, Ashton, you're starting

to frighten me with all these compliments. What's going on?

And all these mysterious texts. Have you got a wee boyfriend? Is that it?

Oh, my God, you have.

Lauren, she's got a boyfriend.

I haven't, Mum.

You're being silly.

Look at that smile. You haven't smiled like that in months.

OK. If you must, now there is someone special.

Someone special.

How many boyfriends have you got? Is this one just pulling away from the

His name's Roger and he's perfect in every possible way.

Boyfriends already?

I don't know. It feels like this time last week you wouldn't leave the house

without your tickle me Elmo.

We're going to the Littlefield Festival in the summer.

Roger's brother has a spare tent. We're going to borrow it. No, Ashley. Sorry,

but no way.

What's your problem?

I can't go to Paris.

I can't go to Littlefield.

What do you think, Lawrence?

Leave me out of this, thank you.

No.

I want to know what you think.

Well, Molly, the music thing might not be the worst idea in the world. The big

field festival is the one to look out for. The little field is for under -18s,

isn't it? Did you not see the news after the last one?

Drunken children everywhere, drugs, math, brawls.

God knows what else.

Lawrence?

I really think it should be okay, Molly, but we can talk about it closer to the

time. What if I was talking about it now?

Yeah.

Okay. How about this?

Why don't we invite this young man round for dinner, Aisling, and your mum can

see he's reasonably clean, and, you know, he doesn't... doesn't carry a

Fine.

Okay.

What if I could... Coming over, there'll have to be some rules.

Number one, no jokes about marriage, making an honest woman of me.

Number two, no jokes about kissing, making kissy faces. Number three, no

comments about how it was back in your day.

Number four... Three's enough, thank you. Fine.

I'll go ring him now and see what it is.

Nice and large, thanks.

Good backing me up there.

Great shrugging, too. Well done.

Proud of you.

Like, Ruth's my flatmate, not my best friend. I don't know what she's

Honestly, I'd tell you if I did, especially if it was bad.

Oh, thanks, Tara.

Did she even tell you that we were together?

Ah, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, well, at least she's not ashamed.

Well, there you go. Good for you.

I'm sick of all this two -minute, three -minute game plan.

I'd just like to skip all that and get to the boring routine.

Well, yeah.

Actually, I'd be up for a bit of boring routine.

Have you had... a brain parasite?

You know, I could call her.

Ask her what the story is. No more fluting around. I had fun, she had fun,

are we going to see each other again or what? Oh, I don't know, Adam. I mean,

you've been on the receiving end of that phone call more than once in your life.

Am I right?

Yeah. And tell me this, did it make the caller more attractive to you?

Okay, I see your point.

If I were you, I'd sit tight, and even if she does make the next move, just

it cool.

There's nothing like desperation to put a girl off.

Fair enough.

See you later.

Later.

Roger? Hi.

Yeah, come on in.

I feel ridiculous making an effort for a child. Oi, it's my man you're talking

about.

Hello, Roger.

You look lovely, as usual.

Thanks.

They don't bite.

Don't worry about me.

This is my mum and my Lawrence.

I'm delighted to meet you both.

These are for you.

Oh, they're lovely. Thank you.

It's actually a concardia I can smell.

It is, yeah. I hope that's okay.

Oh, fine.

Yeah.

I like your jacket, Roger. Very smart.

Yes. It's a hand -me -down from my brother.

He's studying law and training.

Like we need any more lawyers, says you.

Can I? Yes.

This is a really lovely apartment.

Thank you so much.

Let's all sit down, shall we?

All right.

I mean, it's sad to get you down after a while.

I don't want to have to know what a subordinated debt holder is, which is

say that I don't feel sorry for all the businesses that are closing down.

Also, most people that are losing their job are old and have no skills.

What do you want to do when you grow up, Roger?

Well, down the line, I want to get into biotech, so first up will be a degree in

medicine. It's been a passion of mine since I was young.

When we played soldiers as kids, I always wound up setting up a medical

performing triage.

Triage.

I wonder where that word comes from. I'll have to look it up.

It's French.

3 -8, the sort.

I forgot that Ashley mentioned you speak French.

Yeah, I used to teach it a bit.

But I'm training now to be a paramedic. Ah, then you and I are alike.

OK, ready?

Why don't we go to my room and listen to some music? No, hang on a minute. I

don't think that's a good idea.

Oh, come on, Molly. We're not in Afghanistan.

Listen, we'll leave the door open, and if you like, you can perform spot check.

Would that be okay?

Come on, Roger. Let's go.

Thank you for a really lovely meal. You must give me that recipe.

You know what?

I like him. Do you?

Is he not a bit sweet to be wholesome?

A bit oily?

Sweet, oily, if a human being not a part of the dish. Anyway, thank you once

again for your support.

Why do you keep rolling over for her all of a sudden?

More shrugging. Great.

Might as well be living with a perched shoulder.

Right, let's get limbered up here.

Tina, I'll start with you.

Do you know the capital city of Croatia?

I do.

Is it Bucharest?

It is, in its whole.

It's Zagreb.

Idiot.

Brian.

What were the codenames of the five D -Day landing beaches?

Oma. Ha.

That's all I know.

Juno. Gold.

Sword. Utah.

And? Oma. Ha.

Good man.

In which county would you find the source of the river Shannon?

Tina. Limerick.

Not the source, the thin end.

Oh, Donegal.

Donnie Gall.

You all have your little specialties, do you?

Well, I'm a good old rounder. Oh, is that right?

Tina gets the odd TV one right, mostly soaps.

And Brian isn't completely useless on sport.

You're no good to us whatsoever, Lawrence. Is that right?

I didn't say that.

I used to work in a video shop. Maybe I could help out on movies.

Change of heart.

All right.

But you better be good.

This is an unexpected pleasure.

Adam, how's it going?

Never better, off the jury.

Well, a little birdie tells me that you've been asking about me.

Oh, next time I see a little birdie, I'm going to wring a little birdie's neck.

And you're the one who's been making booty calls in the middle of the night.

Oh, I don't remember calling. I just showed up.

So, Camara, what are you doing tonight?

Stuck in here, I'm sorry to say.

All right, well, maybe I'll swing by.

Suit yourself.

Are you happy enough with the red?

I was going

to go for the yellow, but then I thought, go for the red.

They're lovely, thanks.

Getting lots of flowers lately.

I just wear a lot nicer.

They're perfect, Lauren. Thank you.

Right.

I'm off to meet himself.

We're going to have a look at his brother's tent. Start making plans for

little field. Hang on, maybe you thought I was joking or something before, but

just to make it absolutely clear, you're not going to the music festival. End of

discussion. Yeah, but I am going, though.

No, you're not. You're too young.

I'm not a kid.

Lawrence, tell her.

Tell her.

Molly, I really think you're overreacting on this one. It's not like

would be on her own.

Roger would be in the tent with her.

Exactly. I'm away.

Aisling. Are you doing this deliberately?

I was only doing the old good cop, bad cop.

I thought we might do better this way than by ganging up on her.

That wasn't good cop, bad cop.

It was idiot cop, responsible cop again.

I thought when you moved in here I'd have some help with her.

someone to back me up and take some of the pressure off.

I just don't understand. Look, you'll have to see a doctor later. I'm going

to... Florence, I'm trying to have a conversation with you. An important

conversation. I'm sorry, it's important to me too, but Dad called earlier on.

He said they really miss having me around the place.

I thought I'd pay them a little visit, and you know how early they go to bed.

Wait, Paddy called and said they miss you?

Yeah.

Paddy did?

They met you?

Yeah.

Okay, fine.

Go on, Sue.

See you later.

What are you

playing

at? I intend to participate in this evening's quiz.

Oh, yeah? Does Molly know you're here? No, Mommy.

Molly doesn't know I'm here.

Are you trying to get into the Guinness Book of Records for most things hidden

from girlfriend?

Adam, I'm taking part in the quiz tonight, and that's the end of it.

If you want to stop me, you'll have to bar me from the pub.

Am I taking a seat, or are you having me ejected?

Okay, everybody ready to go?

It's just a one -off thing, anyway.

I can give up again tomorrow.

Take your damn seat.

What's this, Lawrence?

Are you doing the quiz?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is huge.

Lawrence Duffy is back!

Excuse me.

You, just relax.

All right, here we go, round one.

What is the name of the ruling family of Monaco?

Grimaldi. No.

No.

It's Rainier.

Prince Rainier III was a member of the Grimaldi family.

Mm -hm.

Rainier was his given name.

Right. The Grimaldis have ruled Monaco since the end of the 13th century.

How do you know all that?

I just picked it up.

You share plenty.

I never pick anything.

The odd flu.

Well, that's like a carried away... Question two.

In the Lord of the Rings movies, what is the name of the character played by

Sean Bean?

Bama... Fala... Incorrect. You're thinking of Faramir. Yes, that's him.

incorrect. It's Baramir.

Faramir's his brother. Sean Bean.

You would, wouldn't you, girls?

No?

Just me.

You're dead, right?

If I had a 14 -year -old daughter, there's no way in hell I'd let her go to

Littlefield. But I thought you just said it was for younger kids. There's no way

they can supervise the property, though.

Exactly. Thank you, Matt.

To be honest, I've been feeling like a bit of an old biddy about this. You are

being an old biddy.

I'm telling you, wait till you've been on the job for a few more weeks. You'll

soon see some things that'll loosen you up.

Let your daughter have some fun. She could be taken away from you like that.

Are we having a crack or what? I'm only telling you the truth.

She's had a very easy introduction so far, one of these fine days. Please

talk about me as if I'm not here.

And the looming spectre of death notwithstanding is not going to that

Same again?

Please.

Hi, Fred. What is the name of the football team that won the European Cup

first five years it was held?

Sports is not really my strong point.

Inter Milan.

I think it's Inter Milan.

Yeah? Team?

Yeah. Sure.

Mind you, I do have a sneaking suspicion that it was Real Madrid.

Not into Milan, no?

Wouldn't put your answer if you like.

Well?

Into Milan?

No, Lawrence.

Let's go with Real Madrid.

Are we all sure? Yes, put Real Madrid.

You did the right thing.

Yeah. Well done, you.

Bonsoir.

Hey, Ruth.

You showed up. I'm honoured.

What can I say? There was nothing on telly.

Actually, that's not true. There was this really good documentary on Amazon.

That's one big river.

Maybe you should have stayed in.

Well, you know, it's on for two hours, so if I get really bored here, I can

always make a back at the second half.

Listen, I would love to sit around here and entertain you all night, but I have

a very important VAT return to get in.

Go on, sir.

Okay.

Don't let me distract you now.

I won't.

It's going well.

Mm -hmm.

Do you want to go back to my place after work?

Yes. I would love to.

Okay, so result time.

In third place, with 77 points, it's Sorry We Can't Think Of It. I think we

a first or second. It has to be. I've never got first or second in anything in

my life.

Or third, for that matter. Shut up, Tina. In second place, with 81 points,

it's Borussia Mönchengladbach.

Well done.

So, in first place, way ahead with 92 points, it's... The

Crack Nut.

So, congratulations to you, Lauren. You won't see me here again, Duffy.

Fair play to you, Lauren. That was something to behold.

Thanks, George.

No, I really have to get going.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, come on. Stick around and have a real drink. If anyone comes

over, ask how we knew all those things. We won't have an answer.

Yeah, I'd love to.

No, sorry.

I'll see you again tomorrow.

Fair play to us.

Adam, I'm off.

Oh, good night.

Hi, Ruth.

Hi, Lawrence.

Congratulations on the win. Thank you. Thank you.

You know, a lot of people think Ruth means pity.

Do they? As in ruthless.

But the two words have completely different derivations.

The name is biblical.

But the adjective comes from Middle English.

Oh. Nothing whatsoever to do with each other. God, mad, isn't it? Bad shit.

Every day's a school day.

I was only being charming.

Yeah, shut up, Adam. He was only being charming.

Well, yay.

Go work, Tara.

Looks like all the rehearsals paid off.

She practically has all the questions on us. Really?

I do not. I run through them briefly, that's all. She uses a hairbrush as a

microphone.

Lawrence, a triumphant return.

Yes, indeedy.

Nice to blow the old cobwebs away.

Okay, I have to go.

Good night, all.

Good night.

Good night. I'm going to head on, too.

You sticking around, Ruth, are you? I might, yeah.

Right.

See you back at the house, then.

Maybe see you, too, I suppose.

Maybe.

Right.

Hey. Hey, did you get my note?

I did, yeah.

Any crack with the boys?

Not so much. How are you folks?

Good form.

It was nice to get a reminder of how lucky I am to live here with you.

Is that what I'm always telling you?

I really mean it.

I love you.