Original subtitles

Do you remember that journalist that came in the other day? We're an item,

Good for her, you.

I mean, good for you.

In second place, with 86 points, it's the Spice Corps.

So it's Lawrence's lot winning again.

Three points, Lawrence.

Three measly points.

Four in it last week. Just three this time.

Can you see where this is going?

Close this week.

Yeah. I'm Molly, by the way.

Penalty.

What's she doing talking to him?

Why shouldn't she talk to him?

Because he's the opposition. She shouldn't be fraternizing.

I have to go.

Go, go away. I have to go.

Didn't see you there.

I'm not getting coffee. I just followed you. Oh?

I mean, I'm... I'm not following you. Just... You know, I saw you and... Does

that make sense? Sure. Why not?

Oh, hi, Lauren. Hi, Aisling.

Pocket money all gone?

No, not all of it.

I got a new comic. Look it.

Very nice.

Yeah, I used to get a Disney one because I didn't have it. Did you know that

Walt Disney won more Oscars than any other individual?

It's amazing.

Yeah.

Show that, Mum. I do it as it happens.

Of course you did. Your mum's very clever.

I just have a good memory, Lawrence.

I'd love to go to Disneyland someday.

Would you, Lawrence?

Florida's very hot and sticky.

Disneyland isn't California.

No, Florida.

Disney World isn't Florida.

Incorrect. It's the other way around.

Really? I had this exact conversation in the shop with the little boy who was

renting the Lion King a while back. Oh.

Because you can always remember because Disneyland has an L -A in it and so has

California.

Sorry, Lawrence.

But you told that poor little boy a month to fly.

Happened to.

I taught Lawrence you absolutely everything about absolutely everything.

Apparently not.

He knows a lot, though. Yeah, but not everything.

A lot, though. A lot, though.

Yeah.

All right?

Oh, yeah.

Still on the fags, eh?

Everyone needs a hobby.

Yeah.

So.

So.

You still haven't talked about this quiz business.

Do we need to talk about this quiz business?

Adam told me you don't even know the other people on your team.

that you just drove around looking for Lawrence's house.

That's true.

Are you impressed?

I'm curious.

Seems like such a lot of effort.

Kathy, Adam already tried this.

Tried what?

Laying a guilt trip on me.

Trying to talk me out of it. I'm doing no such thing. I'm just curious,

honestly. I don't see what's in it for you.

Fun. Really? Is that it?

What?

Do you not think fun is a good enough reason to do things?

You do realise that this means an awful lot to Lawrence?

You may think it's ridiculous, and I may think it's ridiculous, but he doesn't.

Well, he should sort his priorities out, shouldn't he?

Yeah. You know, a little fun could go a long way around here. Everyone's so

serious.

But is it fun if someone gets hurt, though?

Cathy... I've work to do.

All right.

Go on, so.

I just can't see them going for it. I don't know now. They've gone for work.

It's a bit gimmicky.

Is that the whole point?

It'll be a gag gift.

Housewarming or whatever.

Ask Adam what he thinks. Ask me what, mate? I'm thinking of applying to go on

Dragon's Den.

Well, good man.

What's the product?

The irony board.

Right. It's just like a normal ironing board.

Are you with me? Uh -huh.

Only it's all lumpy.

Genius. I'd buy one.

Okay.

I wouldn't have asked, so I'm out.

Good luck, Ivan.

Oh, anything to report?

Not that much. Peter cut his finger slicing lemons.

The computer in the office is refusing to print.

Antonio's decided he can do a perfect Simon Cowell, which counts.

Okay, so business as usual?

Yep.

So you're out and about, it's growing, yeah?

What's this for?

Her book.

I'm all done.

Brilliant, because I'm just a bit one -third of the way through.

Wow.

That's, uh...

That's a lot of notes.

I was very thorough.

Yeah, you certainly were.

So?

What's the verdict?

Honestly?

It's not great.

I mean, it's not cover your eyes terrible, but it's not great. If she

some of the problems I pointed out and sent them to a publisher, I think they'd

give her very encouraging feedback.

But I don't think they'd go for it. That's just my opinion.

Oh, here's a page where nothing scribbled off.

You didn't say she wanted honesty.

No. Look.

This is great. Thank you very much. I could say, yeah, my pleasure, but that

would be a lie. So let's just go with it. You're welcome.

Somalian peanut.

Somalian peanut.

Hmm, you shouldn't have told her.

So it's all over?

No, no. The peanut factor makes it all the more important that you get your act

together and ask her out. Factor? He's not a factor. He's her boyfriend.

Ah, for the love of... They only met out once.

They're hardly Paul Newman and...

Joanne Woodward.

I'm telling you, Lawrence, it's now or never.

Do you know what?

At least you're not denying it anymore.

Let's go on, then.

Come on.

Going somewhere nice?

Go, Roger.

Bit of news.

I won't be able to emcee the quiz on Tuesday.

Oh? Ask me why.

Why? I've got an interview in Dublin.

TV, Cathy.

TV. What?

There's 20 of us left going for ten spaces in the house.

No way, big brother.

No, not big brother. Don't get me started on those tossers.

It's called take a stab.

Ten punchers get locked away in a fancy gap for a couple of weeks and we have to

figure out which one of us is on time for assault with a deadly weapon.

Oh, that sounds... Is this a joke?

Certainly not.

This is my big break. That's what it is.

Who knows where I could lead?

Kathy, are you... Well, who's the babe?

Babe? What babe?

Oh, you're in with Adam.

He's growing you up, someone.

They seem to be getting along okay, anyway.

Looks like the old bedpost could be getting another notch.

It already has. She's his new girlfriend.

Is that right?

Mm -hmm.

Oh, she's on the move.

I'll have a word.

See if he can summon up a little enthusiasm about my news.

What's all this then?

This is a place of business, you know. Not an alley behind a chipper.

Why give up the chip shop alley thing when I turn 27?

I can't emcee the quiz on Tuesday.

Ask me why.

Oh, this'll be good.

Tara, why can't you emcee the quiz on Tuesday?

Oh, you're not going to believe me.

Before I get on to that...

It's none of my business.

But you really shouldn't walk about like that in front of Kathy.

Why?

Are you acting dim or are you just so used to women obviously throwing

themselves at you and you don't even notice the quiet ones anymore? I know,

that's just your imagination.

I know the signs from bitter personal experience, if you recall.

Oh, God, this just got awkward.

Please! I got over you right after you rejected me for like the fourth or the

fifth time. Look, all I'm saying is just be careful.

Tara, I was always under the impression that you weren't particularly fond of

Kathy. Look, you can take her or leave her.

So why the sudden concern?

I'm in a good mood today.

Ask me why.

Why? It's called take a stab, yeah?

Ten punters get locked up in a fancy gaff for a couple of weeks, and we have

figure out which one of us has done time for his butt with a deadly weapon.

Lawrence, hi.

Is this about time? No, no. Come in.

Hiya. Hi.

You sure you're okay?

Washing machines after crapping out on me.

Uh, you'll have to get a man in.

I can't afford to get a man in, can I?

I've got a stack of bills that are two inches thick.

What can I do for you?

You and Peanut, is that a thing now?

Peanut? No, it's not a thing.

We had that one date, and it wasn't exactly fun.

For me, anyway.

Molly, I really like you, you know, in that way, as well as the other way, of

course. I mean, in both ways. And I was wondering if maybe you would like to go

out for a drink with me.

Someday.

for asking me, Lawrence.

I'm sorry. Absolutely, of course. I understand.

And it's great that we're friends. I was just saying a minute ago that I liked

you in the friendly way, too. Oh, okay, sir. No problem. Right, then. Better

head off.

Okay. Sorry about the washing machine and all. Hope you get it sorted.

How are you?

Grand. You?

Grand.

Why is that?

Sorry, you first.

I ordered you a beer.

Oh, thank you.

Cassie's pampered.

Oh.

Lawrence. Yeah?

I just wanted you to know that I wasn't blowing smoke when I said I wanted us to

be friends.

I know people say that for the sake of it, but I really meant it. Okay, good.

I was afraid you weren't going to show up tonight.

Why would I not show up? Do I love quiz night?

And I really don't want things to be awkward between us.

Bad enough to have to look at himself.

So we good?

Yeah. My confidence is around my ankles here.

Oh? That Disney thing.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

So you were wrong about something.

You're allowed to be wrong about things now and again. If I was wrong about

that, who knows what else I think I know, but I really don't. Hi. Sorry. Can

talk some sense into this man?

Absolutely not.

Why?

Never mind.

That's the son of Adam.

Yeah, I get the point.

Is he in the building?

No, I haven't seen him. Where the hell is he, then? This is quiz number 51.

There's only less than next week to go.

Kathy, that's that cook.

Oh, sorry.

Do you want me to change it for something else? No.

Adam won't be joining us.

Really? Why not?

He is indisposed.

Oh.

No prizes for guessing what that means.

Quiz 51. I can't get over it. Quiz number 51 and he's not here.

Where's Tara? Who's this joker?

Oh, Tara can't make it. His name's Scratcher.

He's a friend of Tony's. Well, this just gets better and better.

Evening, everyone.

You're all very welcome.

Relax. It'll be fine. Well, there's no chance that he might say I do a little

intervening when the scores are being totted up.

We're just about ready to start, so if you all have your answer sheets and all

that. Lawrence, Adam owns the place, and Cathy works here. If anyone's got to

worry about interference week after week, it's Tony.

And every other team, for that matter. Okay, here we go. Question one.

In The Lord of the Rings, what is the name of the tavern where Frodo first

Aragorn? I know it. I know it.

No, it's gone.

Everything's gone.

This is stress.

I'm all stressed.

This is it. We're screwed.

Don't look at me. I haven't a clue.

Don't worry, Lawrence.

Auntie Molly's here.

Everything's going to be all right.

Question two.

In what country would you find the Angel Falls?

That wasn't so bad, was it?

You do not know what he's like. He'll never speak to me again.

What did you say to him in the end?

I just said I can't make it. Something big's come up.

That's the line from a James Bond movie.

Goldfinger, I think. It's definitely Sean Connery, isn't it?

I just thought it would sweeten the pill a little. You'd probably think I don't

take the thing seriously.

Adam, you're not supposed to take it seriously.

They call it trivia for a reason, you know.

Maybe. You know, it doesn't do a lot for a girl's self -esteem when she's lying

here wondering if it's too soon for a rematch. All you can talk about is some

pub quiz you're missing.

I'm sorry.

You're right.

You are absolutely right.

And the answer to your question is no.

No,

it is not too soon for a rematch.

And the winner is, with 85 points, Eric Toney.

The team with no name.

I understand this is not exactly an unusual event, but nevertheless,

congratulations to them.

And thank you very much for coming.

Good night.

Well, all right for us.

Yeah, good job, Molly.

I really did carry the whole thing more or less single -handedly, didn't I,

Lauren? You absolutely did, and I'm so grateful, so, so grateful.

I'm only joking.

So you got Timbuktu?

Actually, I thought I got that. It was you.

Oh, come on. I was only pulling your leg. No, we could have lost at 51 weeks.

Well, Lawrence, not so close this week.

Eight points.

I have to take my hat off to you, down to a team of three in all.

Eight points.

They're inconsolable over there.

Well, Peanut's all right.

A couple of questions about battles, though. He's delighted with himself.

Molly.

Got those for us.

Good woman, Molly.

I just wanted to say well done and to tell you that we won't be here next

Why? Are you giving up?

Just like that?

Why? Eh, all of a sudden the joke just doesn't seem as funny anymore.

And as anyone will tell you, I'm the first one to know when a joke is getting

old. Not funny anymore?

I didn't tell you that it's funny to begin with. Yeah, well, no harm done,

We'll step aside next week and let you win and that'll be an end to it.

Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.

You're going to let me win. Well, we won't be here next week, so... No, no,

not having it. You have to come back next week and you have to try your best.

Otherwise, it won't count. It won't count. Not to me anyway. I'm getting the

worst headache.

Lauren, seriously, my heart's not in it anymore. I wouldn't be here tonight even

if only the other three were looking forward to coming.

Tony, please.

I know we've had our differences, but I'm asking you now as a favor, if we

the usual share of no -hubbers next week, the whole thing will be worth it.

You were the best competition we ever had.

What?

You were the best competition we ever had.

And don't go thinking it would only be hilarious if you tortured him all over

again by refusing.

Well, mind reader.

I'm in prayer.

Tony, just do it.

Right. You're on.

We'll be back, and we'll win.

No, you won't.

You're a deeply strange individual.

Yes, I am.

Bills, bills, junk.

Tell you what, let's open it later. There'll be something to look forward

Morning.

Morning. You wouldn't happen to be Molly Mooney, would you?

I am, actually.

Ah, me lucky day.

Grant Gilmore, plumber. Sorry?

Don't be. I could have stayed longer in school, I suppose.

I mean, I didn't call her plumber.

Aye, aye, aye.

Broken washing machine, no?

Yeah, but... Yeah, point me at it.

But I didn't call a plumber. Bear with me.

Yep, Lawrence Duffy. He's sorting it.

Oh.

Sorry, there's been some kind of a mistake.

Now I have to get my little girl to school.

But, uh, I'm... Sorry.

Wait a minute.

Did Lawrence send us a plumber to fix it?

It seems that way.

And you told him he didn't want to fix it. It's complicated, Ashley. Now let's

just get you to school.

Hurry up, Ash, then.

You can get five for three nights for the same money.

Ah, you're sane.

I presume you know why I'm here.

Is it about the plumber I sent? Yes, Lawrence, it's about the plumber you

How dare you do that?

I'm not a charity case.

And if you think that spending money is going to make me change my mind about

going out with you, well, think again, because I'm not a prostitute either.

I don't think you're a prostitute, Molly, or a charity case.

Look, you're the one who said you wanted us to be friends.

One of the things that friends do is they help each other out when they've

money trouble.

Your washing machine's out of order, right?

Yeah, but that's not... You've got other bills to pay. So I was doing you a

favour.

As a friend.

That's all.

I really can't make you out. There's nothing to make out.

But can you afford it?

I wouldn't imagine you're making a fortune here.

I'd, you know, blow overhead.

It would be a loan, not a gift.

I never say a gift.

OK, then.

I accept your loan.

Will you send him over again?

Sure.

Thanks, Lawrence. That's brilliant.

What are friends for?

Yeah. Now, while you're here, I've got something else for you.

Oh? Let's have a final quiz.

Oh. I've divided them up between us all. You're getting Greek and Roman gods,

national airlines, and Oscar winners.

Thank you.