Original subtitles

Molly's something else.

Lovely girl.

Absolutely lovely. I was talking about the quiz. No, you weren't.

Actually, I kind of met someone, too.

What? Who is she?

Well, it's early days. I don't really want to say too much. Are we going to

her?

The spoilsports, we're calling ourselves.

Really? You're kidding. The spoilsports.

In second place.

This boy's boss.

Hello, Lawrence.

Quiz all over.

Why did you turn there?

Lawrence, don't be so rude.

You must be Molly.

No, actually, I'm Kathy.

I'm Molly, hi.

Oh, hello, dear.

Lauren, good day to you.

What's good about it?

Oh, dear.

This isn't something to do with Tony and the quiz, is it? Yes, Miss Marble, it's

got something to do with Tony and the quiz. What's he playing at?

I thought it was obvious.

He's trying to prevent you winning every week for a year.

Your, uh, your big dream. What's this? Are you having a go now?

No, no.

Just stating the fact. I know what he was doing, literally. I mean, why?

What's the matter with him? So far, I'm from the queer thing. Big deal. Yeah,

why is he taking it so seriously? You are! You're having a go!

No, I'm not. Keep your voice down.

Tony has a weird sense of humour, you know that.

He just finds it funny, that's all.

If I was you, I'd be worried, you know, business -wise.

The man obviously can't be trusted, and if he's capable of this, then God knows

what he might do.

Capable of this? You entered a pub quiz, Lawrence. You didn't burn down an

orphanage.

You know, maybe you... What?

I'm just worried, that's all. How you might react if things don't go your way.

And if things do go your way, it's not exactly healthy, all of this.

No -one's keeping track but you, you know.

No -one cares who won 52 weeks a year, or 51. I know, I know all this.

I'm not an idiot, am I?

Okay. Okay, good, good.

Well, why don't you... But I don't care. I'm winning that bloody quiz every week

for a year, and neither Tony nor anybody else is going to stop me.

Hiya.

Molly.

Who do I owe the pleasure to?

What is the pleasure?

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Craig, sorry, I'm miles away.

I just wanted to ask you a favour, a big one.

Is there any chance you could get Friday night off?

I can get any night off, any time.

Well, because I need a babysitter.

Oh, right.

No, it's fine, I'm just surprised.

It's not that there's no one else, it's just I'd like you to do it.

That's all.

I'll pay you the gun rate, of course.

Don't be serious.

What time do you want me?

Um, 7 .30, OK?

Great. Great.

OK. Peace out.

Hello, Flickshack?

No, we won't have that until Wednesday week.

Hello. Hiya, Adam.

Yeah, I'm not really sure I'm in the right place.

Are you in a horror movie car park?

Yeah.

then you're spot on. Do you see a little passage in front of you? Uh -huh.

Okay, take a walk down there.

Uh -huh, and what do you go for?

There's a pretty big garden at the end, and then just hang around.

Ah, my favorite journalist. Good evening.

Would you mind helping yourself to a glass of wine? There is a little

in the kitchen.

How did Hitler become the Taoiseach of Germany in the first place, looking like

that? Good point. I couldn't agree more.

Well, you look like someone off an ad.

An ad for something really dear.

You look fantastic, Molly, really. Thanks, guys.

Hitler. Right, yeah, sorry.

We were looking for cartoons and we got sidetracked.

Well, I'm not.

You know where everything is.

And you have my number. Yep, have fun, have fun.

You'll be all right, won't you, Beth?

Yes. Definitely.

Bye, Mom.

Have fun.

See you.

Three times you said that.

Have fun.

Well, I just wanted to make sure she got the message.

Do you know where she's going?

Me? No. No idea.

Are we much more Nazi?

I'd say that was...

Sensational.

I'm doing my best not to be offended by the surprise in your voice.

It doesn't seem fair you should be able to cook, too.

Too? On top of everything else.

Must be tired of them being so perfect all the time.

Why is it I'm not perfect?

Not by a long shot.

You're doing okay, mister.

Folks must be very proud.

I'm sure they are. I don't speak to them very much.

They're in Spain.

Retired. Brother and sister?

Nope, not with me.

No, and so are we.

Sometimes, yeah.

Well, all I can say is I'm really looking forward to seeing what's for

Why did you not get enough to eat?

Panicata. I was being sexy.

You can move, you know.

I was afraid to... I was afraid to wake her up.

Oh, Lawrence.

Molly, I'm in trouble here.

Trouble? I'm going to have an accident.

Oh.

Okay.

Three, two, one. Go!

So...

Did you have fun at the quiz the other night?

Sure did. What about Lawrence? Did he enjoy himself?

Well, I'd say he's enjoyed it more.

I'll bet.

Gave him a scare, did we?

A waste.

Thought he was going to have a coronary.

Then tell us all about the history of heart surgery as he fell to the ground.

Is he telling you, Claire? Yeah, yeah. I've never seen him happier.

So, listen, I'm dying to know.

Where did you get the ringers? A peanut, you know. I scouted the others.

Good stuff.

Got you into a lot of bother, didn't you?

It'll be worth it.

So you're going to keep this up? Of course.

We didn't get the job done last time, did we?

The job being stopping Lawrence?

Naturally. I'm supposing you do stop him.

He might not care.

Ah, come on, Adam. At least threaten to dock my pay or something.

Sorry?

I knew you'd be down here today trying to call me off.

But I didn't think you'd insult my intelligence with, you might not care.

I don't understand why you care. No.

And the ringers? So what's in it for them?

Peanut, maybe, but the other two haven't even met Lawrence.

They're quiz nerds, Adam. Sir God love them. They can't help themselves.

And you?

Ah, you know me. I just love messing with people's heads.

I can vouch for that.

You. Work.

Now.

Hi,

Ashley.

Did you have a nice day at school?

Yep.

Are you sure?

Come on, sweetie, you can tell me.

Tell you what?

Something's obviously upset you. What is it?

Did someone say something nasty about Hike's new musical again?

It wasn't that.

It was?

Miss Clay said that it was a lovely day today and that we should all be happy

that the sun was shining for a change.

Go on. And I put my hand and asked her if she knew that it took eight minutes

for the light of the sun to get here. Cool.

Now, a couple of other girls called me names.

What kind of names?

They said I was a know -it -all, and a smarty -pants, and a nerd, and even a

lick. But I wasn't trying to be a know -it -all.

And I for definite wasn't trying to lick up to Miss Clark.

I can't stand Miss Clark.

She has a moustache that I do not like. Ashton.

Sometimes I tell people thoughts to find out, that's for sure.

It only causes trouble if you do anything more. I think that's not true.

Yes, it is.

This has happened to me before, a few times.

I've had enough.

Honey, you shouldn't worry what other people think about you. You should

just be yourself.

That's a movie thing to say, not a real life thing to say.

Well.

Molly, how's it going? Fine, Lawrence. How are you?

Terrible. Oh?

Play it built in five letters ends with an E.

Adobe. Oh, excellent.

Lawrence, I'm here to ask... Well, I'm here to ask some advice.

If I can help in any way, I most certainly will. Anything. Anything at

name it, I'll do it.

It's about Aisling.

What, is she all right?

Yeah, it's nothing huge or anything.

She's having a bit of trouble with other kids at school.

Bullying, I suppose you'd call it.

Little thugs.

Yeah, they call her names and give her grief because she's one of those kids

has her hand up for everything, always doing more than she has to, always

bits she learned on her own.

Do you know what I mean?

So it occurred to me that you might have personal experience with this sort of

thing yourself.

What with you being so knowledgeable about everything and all?

Molly, you have come to the right man.

All I could come up with was always be yourself, but she didn't really buy it.

No, you did the right thing.

Always be yourself, weak and all as it is, is exactly right for a child. Yeah,

but these other... To hell with these other kids!

You have to put down markers when you're Ashlyn's age.

You have to show people how you expect to be treated.

If she wants to put her hand up in class to volunteer information, then bloody

good for her.

They're only jealous anyway because they're not as smart as she is.

What else are you going to teach your daughter? That you should always stand

for yourself unless it's too much trouble?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

Thanks, Lawrence.

That said... Yeah?

She might find that she has to dial it down a little as she gets older.

There's a fine line between imparting information and making other people feel

stupid.

There sure is, darling.

Thanks again.

You are welcome.

Hiya. Hi, Mum.

So, better day today?

Yeah. I did an awful lot of talking in class, and I put up my hand for every

single question, even if I only had a guess in my head.

Good girl.

And did that even give you any hassle?

Of course.

But I didn't care.

I did exactly what you said I should do. I thought they were only jealous

because they're not as smart as I am.

Well, I said that's what you should think, love. I didn't really mean you

say it to their faces.

They were really mad.

Do you know what I kept on thinking?

I kept thinking this is how Lawrence must feel all the time.

Lawrence? What makes you say that?

Nothing. He just popped into my head.

That's a little foamy.

Better? I drank it in an emergency, but I don't know if I could sell it. Is

there a point to this, or...? I could be doing with some more bar stuff.

Well, if I'd known it was a job interview, I would have studied,

OK, joking aside, I know you're not exactly thrilled with life on the floor,

believe me, it is much more fun to hand a counter.

Adam, you don't really need any more bar stuff, do you?

If you keep pulling pints like this, no, I don't.

And listen.

Why do I have you here?

Would you do me another little favour? I'm all yours.

Do you remember that journalist that came in the other day? Oh, the really

one? Yeah.

Well, it turns out that we're an item now.

Good for her, you.

I mean, good for you.

Thanks.

And the thing is, she's written a novel.

And she hasn't given it out to any agents or publishers or anything yet,

gave it to me to read.

Which I definitely will do, but I'm just worried I won't have anything

worthwhile to say about it. I was just wondering if you would take a look at

You know, just in case you spot something I don't.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah? Yeah.

Okay. Nice one.

And listen, be as critical as you like. You know, she said that she wants total

honesty. Of course.

Okay, look, let's just start again here, shall we?

Why does he have to be so nice?

If he didn't be good -looking, could he not at least have the decency to be

obnoxious? You're so right.

Not at all irrational or crazy.

I'm sorry, Molly.

You probably wish you never signed up for the team.

Ah, sure, I'd be hearing about this either way.

And I like the Chris.

I'm not one bit sorry I'm on the team.

Like, if I'm ever going to meet someone, it seems more likely that I'll do it

there than Tesco or the doctor's waiting room. Molly, I had no idea you were in

the market.

You don't give up on the idea of men forever just because you've a child, you

know. I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I know you didn't.

Anyway, we'll see.

It's still hard to picture how it could happen.

I guess some handsome stranger going to waltz over and ask me who directed

Forrest Gump.

Robert Zemeckis.

It came up one night. Lawrence was outraged that none of us knew it.

Speaking of Lawrence... What about him?

You did say you were in the market.

I thought I was in the market. I didn't say I was having a fire sale.

The heart's in the right place.

And we do get on.

But that's it.

I've been doing my best to give him friend signals, but maybe I should step

up a notch.

Ask him if he's any single mate.

I'd curl to be kind and all that.

I couldn't hurt.

And hurt you.

Heart of stone.

He'll be devastated, obviously.

Obviously.

Still no sign?

Nope.

We're late arriving last week, but the wind does lift.

You know, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't show up at all.

Tony isn't exactly the committed type.

He's probably happy enough you put the willies up your last week.

He's forgotten all about it now.

Maybe.

You know what? You'd almost have to take your hat off to him.

Let's be honest, there hasn't been many truth contests.

To have that little challenge just when we were getting towards the end was kind

of good for us. Oh, cool.

Stomach. You can have that little challenge all over again, Lawrence.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Nobody panic.

Nobody is. Okay, folks, we all ready?

Okay, so they showed up.

Big deal.

We beat them last week. We will beat them again this week. Yes. Yes, we will.

Of course we will.

All right, team.

Everybody, listen up.

Listen up. Oh, God.

This is a turning point.

We know now that we are being put to a test.

Not just as a casual one -off joke, but in a series of malicious, premeditated

attacks.

This is war.

And we must not be found wanting.

When this is over, I want that agent to look back in the ruins of his

treacherous campaign and shake his head in wonder.

I want him to be amazed at the very idea that he ever hoped to take us on and

win.

I want him to be so completely and utterly familiar that he never answers

another quiz question if he lives to be a hundred.

I want...

into the dirt.

Not just the fetus. Ground into the dirt.

Because the thing is, I have perfect faith in each and every one of you.

We won't fail.

We can't fail.

We're the team with no nails.

Okay. Okay.

Question one.

Which Irish county is known as the Ridge County?

Barely worth asking.

They don't know it.

Don't tell me that none of you know.

Isn't this the sort of thing that quizners are supposed to learn off?

I object to the tale of quizners.

You can be damn sure Lawrence had them all learned off.

Check this out.

That definitely isn't Leitrim.

Everybody got that? Yes, next question.

Which adult movie star wrote the book How to Make Love Like a Porn Star?

Well, well, not much hesitation there, I noticed.

Jenna Jameson. Is she one of your favourites, if she learns?

Everybody's heard of Jenna Jameson.

She's probably famous, not just porn famous.

I haven't, I haven't. Nope, it's running a blank here.

So, the top two teams.

I wish I had my keyboard with me to program in a little drum roll.

Did I mention that I got a keyboard?

I've already written a few songs and, you know, who knows?

In second place, with 86 points, it's the spoilsport.

So it's Lawrence's lot winning again for the umpteenth time in a row. 50th.

50th time in a row.

With 89 points.

Thank you all for coming and good night.

I wouldn't mind another point.

I'll get him in.

Three

points,

Lawrence. Three measly points.

Four in it last week.

Just three this time.

Can you see where this is going?

See you next Tuesday.

Wow.

I just got this weird feeling.

You all right?

I really want to win next week. What? You mean you don't always want to win? I

don't even like a drink.

I'm going to treat myself to a wee bottle of beer before I split.

Yeah, I'll go again.

I know you won't find that fair.

Yes, please.

The meeting.

Hi.

Close this week.

Yeah. I'm Molly, by the way.

Peanut.

That can't be your real name, slowly to God. When I was a child, I had a habit

of getting things stuck up my nose.

It wasn't always peanuts.

So I suppose things could be worse.

You could call me Lego.

Or Mars Engagement Train.

No way.

When I was about five, I got a marble stuck up there.

Small world.

Yeah.

What's she done talking to him?

Why shouldn't she talk to him?

Because he's the opposition.

She shouldn't be fraternizing.

You shave her head and I'll organize the tarp feathers, okay?

I have to go.

No, go away. I have to go. I'm going to give this man his pint before he dies of

heartburn.

Thank you.