Original subtitles

Why are you here exactly?

Laurie.

Before I drop the theme for getting one little question wrong.

You know, every pub quiz I've ever been at always has a star. Capital city of

Nigeria.

Abusia.

We're going to the planetarium tomorrow.

Who is?

Me and Molly and Ashley and my little girl.

You're going what?

So, did you have fun?

I did. I really did.

And what was the favourite thing that you learned?

The speed of the Earth around the sun. Pity there weren't any questions on

astronomy, eh?

Now that we're experts and all.

Oh, well, well.

Look who it is.

What's this? A late lunch?

Just a still water, please.

Who's looking after the video shop?

Closed it up. Wanted to get out for a while.

So you run off your feet in there at half three of a Thursday, all right?

So the quiz went well, didn't it?

Wasn't it always?

Yeah.

Molly, something else.

Lovely girl.

Absolutely lovely. I was talking about the quiz. No, you weren't.

You're still in denial? Don't be putting words into my mouth. Why don't you just

ask her out? Adam, I don't fancy... Don't want to hear it. Can I finish your

sentence?

I think she's a useful addition to the team. Shut up.

Let me finish.

It's all right to be afraid to ask somebody out, you know. It is not all

to pretend you're not interested when you clearly are. Still water, please.

Hiya, Lawrence.

Kathy, how's work going?

Oh, it's fine, thanks.

If it was as good as your last job.

Well... Is he paying you okay?

It beats unemployment.

Oh, yeah, anything's better than nothing.

Shall we look at me?

A flick check's the only job I've ever had.

The thing about it, it's like drowning.

Once you stop struggling, it's kind of peaceful.

You'll find out that.

Cerebral hypoxia.

Hiya. I'm looking for an Adam Lynch.

You found one.

Hello there.

Hiya, Adam.

Grainne Bannon, I'm a reporter with Standard.

We're doing a piece on local entrepreneurs done good. You know,

a bit of optimism in these dark and dismal days.

Nice alliteration.

Thanks. It's part of the training.

It's my friend Lawrence, by the way. Hiya, Lawrence. Nice to meet you. Lovely

day. Yes, it is.

So, are you interested?

Well, I am a local entrepreneur, granted, but I wouldn't say that I've

good. Let me just make a note here.

Falsely modest.

Haven't seen you around here before.

Well, I haven't been here for very long.

I'm studying down in Dublin with Gerald as part of my final year placement.

Ah, I thought I knew everyone.

Pete, can I get two coffees? You can.

I don't really think I could give you a very worthwhile interview.

I don't know about that.

What I have is that you had stock in a software company.

You set up with your friends down in Dublin, did really well, and you got out

before the dot -com bust. Came home and bought this place.

That's about it, though.

That's a pretty short article.

Is that a no, then?

Not necessarily.

When do you want to do this interview?

Well, no time like the present.

In, like, 15 minutes, 20 tops.

OK.

I don't know, Adam.

Should you be consorting like that now that you've got a girlfriend and all?

Consorting? And, for that matter, girlfriend?

Uh, Olivia, the rugby club ball.

Oh, I won't be seeing Olivia again. A coffee, then? Yeah, thanks, Pete. Oh,

sorry. It didn't work out.

No, no, no. It's not that it didn't work out. It's just that I won't be seeing

her again.

Oh.

Sorry. Do you even like coffee? Oh, I love it. You're grand.

Okay. I'll start.

It's unbelievable.

A kiss?

Who is important in the election of President Obama?

Name three things.

He's black.

Yes, of course.

Three things.

He's unknown until recently.

Summer, but absolutely.

One more thing.

Molly, I have something that I want to say.

En français, s 'il vous plaît.

J 'avais quelque chose. J 'ai quelque chose.

Molly, je t 'aime.

What?

Je vous aime depuis... Never mind the bloody French. What are you on about?

I love you.

There, I said it.

Stephen, I'm so sorry.

For God's sake.

You don't understand at all. I'm sorry.

Obviously, we can no longer continue with your lessons. I'll make something

for your mother. You won't be embarrassed.

No, but Molly, I'm being serious.

I'm serious. Look, look.

I wrote some poetry for you. I'm cold.

Look. Please, please look.

No, it wouldn't be if you play.

Your hair is so shiny and your eyes are amazing.

If we got together, it would be amazing.

OK, that's not my best one. If you go to the... Stephen, this is... I'm sorry,

I'll have to leave.

I mean, I don't know.

Au revoir, mon amour.

Yeah.

Adam,

I'm not like you, all right? Obviously.

I can't just... I was watching you with your woman.

Grainne. Grainne.

Talking to women comes naturally to you, and it most definitely does not come

naturally to me.

I just don't know how to do it. I can't see the steps.

Yeah, well, there's a problem right there.

You see, you're thinking of it in terms of pulling when you should be thinking

of it in terms of friendly conversation.

Like, women aren't some weird species with their own rules and steps.

When you're talking to Molly, just be warm and open, the way you would be to

anyone.

Or the way you should be to anyone.

Look them in the eye, smile, use her name, make contact.

Look, I'll tell you what. The next woman comes through that door, practice on

her. I'll hang back and observe.

That sounds like a really stupid idea.

I don't mean seduce her. No, just try and be friendly.

You know, engaging.

Yeah? So 18 or 88, next person comes through that door.

Okay? I don't know.

It could be a long wait. We're never very busy.

I got all afternoon, man.

Good evening.

Good evening.

I would like to become a member of your video play. Certainly.

My friend says I should show you both.

Your friend is correct.

Danuta. That's nice.

Where are you from, Danuta?

Lithuania.

And have you been in Ireland long?

One month now.

Whereabouts in Lithuania, exactly?

Vilnius, Kaunas, Laikpita? I don't know my country.

Well, no.

I know of it. I'm from Kaunas. Good old Kaunas.

Second largest city, isn't it? Yeah.

Capital Between the Wars, I believe.

Hannibal Lecter's hometown.

Very good.

You know what I would like to see?

Yeah? Pulp Fiction.

Sorry, Danina, we just did one copy and some cretin left it back scratched a

bit. I've ordered another one.

Well, I haven't seen it since it came out.

When was that? Late 90s?

Incorrect, 1994.

No, it was later than that. I remember certainly we've got an illegal video.

1994. You're wrong. In 1994 we're still living... It was 1994, Danita.

Wow.

If you don't mind that I say it, you are being a little bit rude.

Sorry, Danita, I don't mean to... I know it was 1994.

That's all. I think I won't bother to get a movie tonight.

Okay, well, just give me a few minutes and I'll finish up your...

No. Thanks.

Bye.

Okay, look.

How do you feel that went?

There you are. Thank you.

Liam, Siobhan, how are you? I'm grand.

Very well, thanks.

Lots of grumble.

So, how are things at work, your work?

Well, everyone's a bit down about the lay -offs.

Obviously. Absolutely.

It's not the same about yourself.

A bit more room, though, eh?

Well, it's good to see that you're keeping busy anyway.

Yeah, well, you know, I'm a friend of Adam's and he was in a bit of a buying

staff. So I said I'd help him out while I was at loose end.

Good woman.

Thanks.

So, anyway,

ready to order?

Go ahead, come on.

By the time I finish, my feet are in bits.

I look down at my shoes and I expect to see them throbbing like in a cartoon.

A 16 -year -old tried to put his tongue down my foot.

And I got my ass felt by a pensioner.

He tried to let on he was putting a tip in my back pocket, but then he gave me a

book of his poetry.

That's the work itself.

The whole Adam thing. It's working out just like I worried it would.

Not only do I have to be around him all the time, but I have to watch him doing

his thing with other women. I probably didn't stand much of a chance when we

were just half -assed friends, but now that I'm that girl that cleans his

toilets... Well, that's quite the tale of woe. It's terrible, it really is.

I'm overcome with sympathy here.

I'm sensing a certain degree of sarcasm.

My guy's probably up in his room composing an opera as we speak.

One of your students?

When was this?

You know, I really, really don't want to talk about it.

But you'll have to understand if I'm a little short on compassion.

My own love life isn't exactly on fire. I'm between Stephen and the other Egypt.

What other Egypt?

Ah.

Ah, Lauren.

I shouldn't call him an Egypt.

At least he hasn't napped on me.

But you get the impression he's going to.

No, I don't think he's been leaping on kind, but I wouldn't be surprised if he

makes some sort of move.

He'll get himself all worked up and he'll blurt something out.

I can spot the signs.

I haven't spotted any sign of any kind from Adam.

A 16 -year -old, Cathy.

16.

And I was tempted.

Six years.

Imagine. Hard to believe. Hard to believe. Seems like yesterday.

Earlier on today, even. What's this?

Declan and Karen, six years married next week.

No. Do you remember, Paddy, how excited he was? The next day he rang, the very

next day, I met someone, he says to me, I couldn't get over it, telling his

mother about his love life. You couldn't get a word out of him on the subject

normally. Sure, he'd loads of women we don't even know about.

That makes no sense. How do you know if you don't know? I'm guessing, Lawrence.

I'm imagining, that's all.

Are you taking her away to Paris?

France or Texas?

What? I don't follow you.

Never mind.

Better get back to work.

Is he today?

No.

See you.

Okay, John, okay.

See you.

Actually, I kind of met someone, too.

What?

Really? Who is she?

Well, it's early days. I don't really want to say too much. Are we going to

her? Where did you find her?

What's she like?

Is she a looker?

She's on the quiz team.

I shouldn't have said anything at all. I really shouldn't.

You must have a name at least. Give us that much.

Her name is... Molly.

Bloody hell. I thought you'd forgotten it there for a minute.

Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know while we're on the subject.

So long.

Long time no see.

Tony.

So, how are you keeping?

Grand.

You?

So, listen, old shit, I wanted to ask you something. Do you still do the

quizzes?

No. Nothing with Lawrence, were you?

No.

Tool.

Thank you.

He is a tool. He fired me, too.

Not that I give a damn.

You got me thinking.

I can make a little bit of a plan. Just a bit of crack.

Go on.

Do you know whoever he's 140 in a row, he wants to get to 52, yeah?

Hello there.

Hi. Can I give you a hand?

Oh, yeah, that'd be great.

It's not a bad evening.

No, it's lovely.

Listen, thanks a million. My arms are hanging out of my sockets.

At least we don't have any of those old plastic bags anymore digging into your

fingers. You'd lose your circulation getting your milk home.

Always getting stuck in trees.

Yeah.

Anyway, that's you.

Cheers, gentlemen.

Did you find money or something?

Sir? You look all pleased with yourself.

You're usually all tense before a quiz.

Tense and irritable. I think you've made me confused with someone else.

What are we all having, Molly?

A grand long thanks, I'll nurse this. You sure?

Positive thanks.

I'll go again while you're still high on whatever it is you took. Bottle of

beer, please.

Adam? Well, thanks.

Will I get some munchies in too, Molly?

Will you bag of cheese and onion? No, thanks, Lauren. Nuts? You do nuts, don't

you, Adam? Oh, we do indeed.

And cream.

Scampi, bacon fries? Nothing, thank you.

Mystery.

I've never seen the like... Pint on the bottle, please, Rory. Rory.

Evening, all.

Tony.

What are you doing?

Ah, sure. You know yourself, I was a bit bored, so I thought I'd give the old

pub quick a go.

The spoilsports, we're calling ourselves.

Really? You're kidding.

The spoilsports.

So you dragged the peanut alone?

Ah, no dragging required.

He's happy enough to do it.

Hello there. I'm Tony.

You must be my replacement.

Hi, I'm Molly.

Molly.

You liking it so far?

Being on the team?

Yeah, it's OK.

Enjoy it while you can, Lawrence. We'll get rid of you soon enough. That's his

thing. No danger of that. Molly's good.

So who are the other two? Tony?

Aren't you going to introduce them? Nah, not yet.

Who are they?

Oh, dear.

You sound a bit panicked there, Lawrence.

Don't worry. It's only a pub quiz.

Just a bit of fun. All right, kids.

Settle down. We're almost ready to start.

Let's go, Tony. Everyone got your auntie sheets ready?

By the way, Lawrence, if you win this week, how many times in a row would that

be?

Forty -nine. Something like that.

Forty -nine?

Wow.

Good luck with him.

Don't worry about them. They look like half -wits. Who's Peanuts?

He used to be on the team until Lawrence fired... He left because he knew

everything about military history, but nothing about anything else. He couldn't

tell you he was the first man in the mood.

Let's go.

Question one. This is a toughie. At least I think it's a toughie, but then

again, I'm not exactly... Get on with it!

Jesus Christ.

Adam, Cathy, could you please try to keep him under control?

Yeah.

OK, we'll try that again, will we?

Question one.

Complete this list of names.

Bangla, stance, and who.

Who.

Whatever. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, I know it, but I can't.

Um, there's a poet called...

Oh, no, Spender.

Poor thing. No.

He's not even going to ask me if I know.

Do you?

You know, I believe I do.

Well, tell me.

Karen, calm down. You're going to have a heart attack.

Question two.

Please. Venkman.

What? They both wondered.

Spengler stands.

Thank you.

Question two.

David Cornwell has written a number of best -selling novels under which...

Suit and all.

Would you cheer up, man? We've won.

We must have done. We were three up, and you know we got at least eight right in

the last round. Probably even ten.

So it's mathematics. No, that's too close. It's way too close for my liking.

Third place with 71 points.

It's the Lion, the Witch, the Wardrobe and Emo.

In your second place.

Tension. Can you feel it?

It... It boils forth.

With a very extremely impressive 87 points.

Which means the team with no name of the winners again, as usual.

But, not by much, 91 points for you guys.

See? Told you so.

49's in the bag.

Lawrence. No, it was the sports question. No, I knew it was Dover.

Peanut, good evening.

Lawrence.

Isn't anyone going to do the introductions?

All right.

Pauline, Harry, Lawrence.

Hi. Hello.

Evening.

You don't know them, Lawrence, so stop trying to work it out.

Anyway, I just wanted to come over and say hello, and, you know, bad luck with

the quiz and all.

All right. As always, next week.

Everyone free next week, eh? Yeah.

Quick, everybody laughs like Angela said something hilarious.

Everything that I know said something funny. Quick.

Lift it.

Hello,

Lawrence. Quiz all over, hmm?

Presume you won, as usual.

Adeline, how's business?

Ah, not bad considering, Paddy. Nice to see you both.

How's Vera? Oh, can't complain, Adeline.

What are you doing here?

I forgot your keys, Mr. Quiz Genius.

Didn't want you thumping on the door or waking us up when you come home.

They're not my keys.

I've got my keys.

They're the spare keys.

Are they?

A wasted journey, so.

Even if they were my keys.

It took two of you to bring them in.

Your mother wanted to go for a spin. I feel a bit cooped up in the house

sometimes. Oh, yeah. Who doesn't enjoy a good night out dropping keys into a

pub? It's to be so... rude.

Ah, you must be Molly.

No, actually, I'm Kathy.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Duffy.

And Mr. Duffy, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Molly, hi.

Oh, hello, dear.

I was about to say, we've heard so much about you, but we haven't really.

Details are a bit thin on the ground.

Is he treating you all right?

Who, Lauren?

On the team, he means, as a new team member on the team. Oh, he's a douche.

Oh, well.

Are you going home now, or what?

Charming. Maybe we'll get a drink and sit with you guys for a while. Sure.

Don't upset yourself, son. Wouldn't want to cramp your style. Oh, come on,

Paddy. We'll make ourselves scarce.

It's very nice to see you all. Nice to meet you. Good luck, kid.

Don't listen to his nonsense, Molly.

Oh, no.

They're lovely, Lawrence.

What happened to you?

All right, folks, I've got to split. Let my own ma get on home.

assuming Ashton hasn't driven her out already.

Wait.

Why?

Just hang on a minute. Let them get away.

Let them get away?

Are you afraid if I get talking to them on my own, they'll ruin the ice -cool

image you've cultivated here? Please.

Okay, Lawrence.

Okay, I'll just stand here in silence for a few minutes. Is that all right?

Perfect.

Thanks.

I was... Joe King Muppet?

My God, you're actually... I'm away. Good night, all.

Good night, Molly.

I'd say that was long enough.