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I'm Dennis.
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I live in an ordinary house
in an ordinary street
3
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in an ordinary town.
4
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,560
But I feel... different.
5
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,480
I go to an ordinary school.
6
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,960
But I feel different there, too.
7
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,000
Put him on an amber alert.
8
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Thank you.
9
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,400
Ah - Lisa James. The serial offender.
10
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Shall I measure her skirt,
Mr Hawthorn?
11
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,640
Lisa James is the coolest
girl there.
12
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She's always trying to bring
some style to the school.
13
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:34,760
IN FRENCH ACCENT: Dennis?
14
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,120
Que voulez-vous acheter
dans le magasin?
15
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,600
Um...
16
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,080
Une voiture?
17
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,160
SCATTERED LAUGHTER
18
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:49,880
Mais, c'est une boulangerie!
19
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,920
Nous ne vendons pas de voiture dans
une boulangerie.
20
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,920
Ecoutez, Dennis. Ecoutez.
Isabel?
21
00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,160
De... je pain
22
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,520
Du. DU pain, oui.
Du pain, du pain.
23
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,840
The teachers moan that
I'm always daydreaming.
24
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,480
Saturdays are the best,
cos that means football.
25
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:14,160
All right, Darvesh? Yep.
Hi, Jaspreet. Is that a new dupatta?
26
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:19,640
Yes, thank you Dennis, it is.
Oh, you always notice things!
27
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,280
Wish my son would notice
things like that.
28
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,800
ENGINE STARTS
29
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,800
I notice you're embarrassing.
30
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,360
WHISTLE BLOWS
31
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CROWD SHOUTS
32
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,640
Football is the one thing
I'm good at.
33
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Go on, Dennis!
34
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,720
The one thing that's mine.
35
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,120
Yes! Goal!
36
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:43,000
But I still don't feel like
I fit in.
37
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000
Dad doesn't come to watch any more.
38
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,480
But these days
he has got a lot on his plate.
39
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,360
FIGHTING SOUNDS FROM TV
40
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,320
Oh! I'm knackered just
watching that lot.
41
00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,760
Sausages are a bit burnt.
42
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,080
And I forgot to put the hob on for
the peas, but they'll soon melt.
43
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,400
Things aren't easy in my family.
44
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,320
It was better when Mum was around.
45
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,360
HE COUGHS
46
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:18,160
When you were with her, you
felt like anything could happen.
47
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,600
Come on, everyone! Don't be boring!
48
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,920
Then, one day, it did.
49
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She left.
50
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:31,880
After she'd gone, Dad burned every
single picture we had of her.
51
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,040
But I managed to save one.
52
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,080
What you doing? Ssh!
53
00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:02,120
But Dad being Dad, he couldn't
resist cooking some sausages
at the same time.
54
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,320
I suppose I wanted to escape
to some magical world.
55
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,640
And I found it in the most
unexpected place.
56
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,840
SHOP BELL JINGLES
57
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,200
FEMALE VOICE WHISPERS: Dennis!
58
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,440
Dennis!
59
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,160
Boys can like Vogue too, you know...
60
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,960
Ahem!
61
00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,040
33 seconds. That counts as browsing.
62
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,520
Just Match and... (Vogue.)
63
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,240
Uh-huh.
64
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,600
Vogue!
65
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,280
HE CHUCKLES
66
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,280
The fashionista's Bible.
67
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,400
SHOP BELL JINGLES
68
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,400
An unusual choice for
69
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,400
a 12-year-old boy.
70
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,960
Raj, I need to be getting home,
so...
71
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:37,160
Come to think of it, I've never had
a boy your age buy Vogue.
72
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,760
It's a Christmas present.
For my auntie.
73
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,480
Oh, oh, oh! Then you will need
a card.
74
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,760
A card? Uh-huh. To go with
the present.
75
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,080
I have Santa, a snowman, reindeers,
76
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,640
"with deepest sympathy"...
77
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,320
No, no, no. That's not right.
The Santa one is fine.
78
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:57,000
Then you will want wrapping paper
and sticking tape,
79
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,840
and - oh, oh, oh! - a gift tag.
80
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,600
That is £9.
81
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,920
HE SNIFFS
82
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,440
Come on, Dennis. Strike a pose.
83
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,120
SONG: Come Fly With Me
by Michael Buble
84
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:20,960
# Come fly with me
Let's fly, let's fly away
85
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,760
# If you can use some exotic booze
86
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,280
# There's a bar in far Bombay
87
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:33,200
# Come fly with me
Let's fly, let's fly away... #
88
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,040
Dennis?
89
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,040
MUSIC STOPS
90
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,680
What you doing?
91
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,680
HE SNIFFS
92
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:47,640
Nothing. Just...thinking.
93
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,080
What?
94
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:54,800
You know how when we were little,
we'd dress as pirates and Daleks?
95
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,520
Yeah.
96
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,040
Don't you sort of miss that?
97
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,160
Nah. Got better things to do now.
98
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,000
Like hang around outside the offy?
99
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,360
Nah. That's boring. We hang
around outside the Pound Shop.
100
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,320
HE SNORES
101
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:47,680
See you later! See you very soon.
SHE LAUGHS
102
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,320
BOTH SHOUTING: It's a party!
I'm not 18 years old!
103
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,200
Why did you agree to have a party?
You're acting like I'm not here!
104
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,440
Think it shrunk a bit.
105
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,840
There you go. Thanks, Dad.
106
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:16,120
Right, now. The lorry's being
serviced today, so I've got a bit of
time.
107
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,720
I was going to fix that leaky
pipe in your room.
108
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,440
Where you going?
Forgot my maths book.
109
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,440
KNOCK AT DOOR
110
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,040
Hiya, Peter! Hi, Jaspreet.
111
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,280
Dennis'll be down in a sec.
112
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:47,360
Oh! Not too soon, I hope.
I do so enjoy our little chats.
113
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,400
Dennis!
114
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,360
Any sec now. Just...
115
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,320
Dennis!
FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
116
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Get down here! Here we are.
117
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,360
Hiya. Bye, Dad.
118
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,520
All the best.
Thanks for taking him again.
119
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,240
Oh, no. Not at all, Peter.
120
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:07,040
And if you need anything, just call.
121
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:11,360
Anything at all, day or...night.
122
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:12,920
Oh. Yep.
123
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,960
I'll just, er...
124
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,520
(There we are, then.)
125
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:23,640
See you later!
126
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,120
HE EXHALES
127
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,720
Yeah, I'm the captain.
128
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,720
Chief goal scorer,
so I take all the penalties.
129
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,520
He takes all the penalties.
130
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,200
BALL THUDS REVERBERATE
131
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,760
Why do we have a school
uniform, Miss James?
132
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,280
To keep the nylon
factories going, sir?
133
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:59,720
Because a uniform ensures discipline
and without discipline...
134
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,120
Chaos ensues.
135
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,760
Miss Price, I am
capable of finishing my own...
136
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,680
Sentences.
137
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:10,280
Sorry, Mr Hawthorn.
138
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:14,360
Oi, Simms!
Think you're clever, don't you?
139
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:17,680
I'm just practising.
140
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,600
Well, let's see
if you've improved, then.
141
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,280
Hit that can.
142
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,480
THUD!
143
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,000
RICOCHET PINGS
144
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,680
CLANG!
145
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:39,640
I expect everyone at this school to
146
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:39,640
be dressed immaculately at
147
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:39,640
all times.
148
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,080
RAPID CLANGS
149
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,440
MISS PRICE GASPS
150
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,200
HE STAMMERS
151
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,800
STUDENTS WHISPER
152
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:56,360
Ssh! Quiet, please. This is a
detention, it's not a discotheque.
153
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,720
CLOCK TICKS
154
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:08,880
What are you in for?
155
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,520
Kicked a ball through
the Head's window.
156
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:17,200
That was you? Respect.
157
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,240
What's your name?
Dennis Simms.
158
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,840
John's little brother? Yeah.
159
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,320
I'm Lisa. I know. You're a legend!
You're the coolest girl in school.
160
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,160
I love the way you dress. Every day
there's a new little twist and...
161
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,240
Don't worry, I'm not obsessed.
162
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,000
No, no. You don't sound it at all(!)
163
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:51,800
Vogue!
164
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,120
That's not mine.
I don't know how that got there.
165
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,840
Can you get on with your work,
please?
166
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,040
I'm trying to buy some
Christmas present...
167
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,720
I meant - I'm doing marking.
168
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,840
I thought I was the only one
round here who read this.
169
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,840
You are, cos, like I said,
it's not mine.
170
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,760
You into haute couture or
pret-a-porter? I'm easy.
171
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,000
You're new to all this, aren't you?
172
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,200
Don't Pret make sandwiches?
173
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,480
SHE LAUGHS
174
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,000
But some of that stuff is
too mad to wear, surely.
175
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,800
And there's a cardigan on one page
and it says it costs £300.
176
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,440
That has got to be a mistake?
177
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,120
So many questions, young Hobbit.
178
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,440
And there was one dress,
and it had shoulders out here.
179
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,160
I mean, how can you
get on the bus in that?
180
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,720
Oh. Well, this is my house. Bye.
181
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,840
Oh, OK.
182
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:41,880
Bye.
183
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,280
So, you'll come round Saturday, then?
184
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,720
What for? To learn.
185
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,040
Everything.
186
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,280
Where are you going?
187
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:03,680
To Lisa James' house.
188
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,240
Oh, yeah.
And I've got a date with Rihanna(!)
189
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,080
Hey.
190
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,440
All right? Come in. Fancy a drink?
191
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,560
Why not?
192
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,400
Champagne cocktail?
193
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,440
You're underage.
194
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,160
Um Bongo?
195
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:33,160
That's gorgeous! Classic Dior.
Look at this from the '70s.
196
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,960
You see how the lines are all
the same?
197
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:40,040
Now, this is Italian Vogue.
My favourite.
198
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,080
You'd look amazing in that.
Wouldn't anyone?
199
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,160
My mum loved to dress up.
She always looked great.
200
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,960
What happened to her?
201
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,960
She ran off with this guy who's
got his own roofing company.
202
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,000
Granny says they've got a baby
together now.
203
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,040
I'm sorry. Me too.
204
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,880
Now I live in a house
full of blokes.
205
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,280
It's just so boring and grey
sometimes.
206
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,160
Can I show you something?
207
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,120
Wow! Who made that?
208
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,560
Me.
209
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:20,480
I'd do it at school, but the Head
won't let us do fashion tech.
210
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,840
How am I meant to be a designer if I
can't even get any qualifications?
211
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,160
It's beautiful.
212
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,240
Maybe...
213
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,240
you should try it on?
214
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,000
What? No!
215
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,960
Go on, try it on.
I can't do that.
216
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,440
Who's going to
have a problem with it?
217
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,320
Well, let's see -
218
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:43,320
my dad, my brother, the Head,
the football team,
219
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,280
oh - and everyone else I know.
220
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,520
Not me.
221
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,800
I don't think there should be
any rules.
222
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,920
I think we should all wear...
223
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,040
whatever we like.
224
00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:01,400
Yeah, but whoever heard of
a boy in a dress?
225
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,800
We've got the Christmas things
from out the shed. Oh, right.
226
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,240
Thought we could all do
the tree together.
227
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,920
I used to do that with your mum.
228
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,560
I was on tinsel, she was on baubles.
229
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,120
Let's do it later, yeah?
230
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,280
Why don't you come to
the semifinals?
231
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,640
Can't remember the last time
you saw me play footy. Oh, I can.
232
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,360
She came, too.
233
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,800
It was just before that...
234
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,080
so-and-so came to fix the roof.
235
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,360
KNOCK AT DOOR
236
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,360
I'll get it.
237
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,640
Hello?
238
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,320
Lisa.
239
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,080
Yes, John, it's me.
240
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,120
SHE SIGHS
241
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,120
Is Dennis in?
242
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,520
Who?
Your brother, Dennis.
243
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,200
Oh, yeah. Wait there.
244
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,360
HE COUGHS
245
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:30,600
He's out all day, but I'll tell you
who's here, and that's me.
246
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,680
Little accident?
247
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,680
I thought we could
hang around outside the chippy?
248
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:44,000
Throw things in the canal?
Whatever you want to do, babes.
249
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,560
Oh, look - he's back.
250
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,640
You ready? Sure. See you later.
251
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,640
Raise your game, son.
252
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,800
SEWING MACHINE WHIRS
I've got something to show you.
253
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,000
Really?
254
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,840
Do you like it?
255
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,200
I love it.
I've been working on it all night.
256
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,680
I need to make a few adjustments.
257
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,120
Will you... put it on?
258
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,760
Put on the dress? Yeah.
259
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,560
Oh. Unless, of course,
you really don't want to?
260
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,080
No, no! I mean,
if it helps you out...
261
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,840
"COME FLY WITH ME" ECHOES FAINTLY
262
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,800
HE LAUGHS
263
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,680
Why are you laughing?
264
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,440
You look incredible.
265
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,240
How does it fit? Perfectly!
266
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,480
So, who did you make it for?
267
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,160
You! What?!
268
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,640
Oh, I'm not stupid. I can tell you
really wanted to wear one.
269
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,440
And you could totally
pass for a girl,
270
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,680
with a few extra little touches.
271
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,040
Do you really think so?
You could go out in that.
272
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,520
Where?
273
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,920
I dunno. Down the street? Into town?
How about Raj's shop!
274
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,280
You would get away with it, I swear.
275
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,600
Yeah, but...
276
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,480
..we aren't actually
going to do it, are we?
277
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,600
I'm scared.
278
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,760
Just be confident.
The world is your catwalk.
279
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,200
This isn't a good idea.
Raj knows me.
280
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,680
He knows Dennis.
He's never met Denise.
281
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,880
Who's Denise?
282
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,880
SHE SIGHS
283
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,280
SHOP BELL JINGLES
284
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,440
Aha, Lisa, my favourite customer!
285
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,720
Who is your new friend?
286
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,600
This is my French exchange... person.
Girl. Student.
287
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,640
HIGH VOICE: Bonjour.
288
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,160
Je am... Denise.
289
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,960
Wilkommen!
My shop is famous around the world.
290
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,200
Surely you've heard of it?
291
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,600
Non, Monsieur Raj.
292
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,760
You know my name! You must have!
293
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:23,520
How about commemorative postcards to
send to your family back in France?
294
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,880
They're blank. Yes, I know.
295
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:29,200
You can draw British
landmarks on them with...
296
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:33,120
this set of colouring pens,
priced just £4.99.
297
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,880
We'll just take this magazine.
298
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,240
RAJ CHUCKLES
299
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,360
Now, Denise, before you leave,
300
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:43,280
you must try our traditional
British delicacies.
301
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,920
These Twixs came in fresh
this morning.
302
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,160
Non, merci.
303
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,800
Le Munch De Monster,
s'il vous plait.
304
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,440
Excellent choice, senorita.
305
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,360
Bye, Raj.
NORMAL VOICE: Bye.
306
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,440
HIGH VOICE: Au revoir.
307
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,400
Ciao!
308
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,840
Peter. Perfect Peter.
309
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,160
Peter the poppet.
310
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,360
Peter Piper picked a peck
of pickled pepper.
311
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:11,840
Wh-what exactly do you want?
312
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,680
Yeah, is Dennis ready for the semis?
313
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,600
Well, he's... Do you know, Peter,
314
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:21,240
every time I pop by and accidently
peep through your windows,
315
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,840
I can't help thinking that this
house could do with a woman's touch.
316
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,920
He's... So I've bought you some
scatter cushions.
317
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,800
And a couple of photo frames.
318
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,200
And oh, look - who's this?
319
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,520
He's out. With that Lisa James
girl from school.
320
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,920
I will find him. Stay strong.
321
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,640
SHE MEOWS
322
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,720
That was hilarious!
I know! So, when do we do it again?
323
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,040
How about never?
324
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,400
What about the shopping centre?
Tons of people there. No!
325
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,560
Lisa, where's Dennis?
326
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,880
The semifinals!
327
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,480
Er, Dennis?
328
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,800
He said to tell you, if I saw you,
329
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,760
like, um, I'm seeing you now,
330
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,520
to say that he...
331
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,600
will be home in five minutes.
332
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,200
Well, come on!
333
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,920
How can anyone run in these?
334
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:11,800
All right, speedy!
335
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,480
Where were you?
336
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,920
Doing weights.
337
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,240
Are you a fan of
the rap music, Dennis?
338
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,560
Just say no.
339
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,880
MUSIC: Holiday
by Dizzee Rascal
340
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,000
SHE RAPS ALONG
341
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,440
..come and see me.
342
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:41,960
..see me.
343
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,160
..so easily. Ooh...
344
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,920
Please, don't do that.
345
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,320
Eh eh eh-eh!
346
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,200
Look at him!
347
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,920
Oh, go back to Hogwarts.
348
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,480
Darv, is it weird wearing
a patka on your head?
349
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,240
Nah, it's just a Sikh thing.
350
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,360
Yeah, I know, but you're the only
boy at school who wears one.
351
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,640
It's no big deal.
352
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,440
And it would be boring if we were
all the same, wouldn't it?
353
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,520
So, you're playing St Kenneth's.
354
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:23,320
Private school, state-of-the-art
sports facilities,
355
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,960
and, let's face it,
a better gene pool.
356
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,760
Now, on paper, things
don't look very good...
357
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,240
..and, looking at you now,
it's a lot worse.
358
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,840
You're always out of breath,
you've got chubby legs,
359
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,600
and most of you are still waiting
for your growth spurt.
360
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,480
Sorry, son, it's been and gone.
361
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,040
Right, come on.
Put your hands in the middle.
362
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:53,200
Now lift them up.
363
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,880
ALL: Whoosh.
364
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,600
That's supposed to help.
I've got no idea how.
365
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,000
Come on, then.
366
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,960
Whoo! Come on, football! Oh! Oh! Oh!
367
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,280
It's tails. Yes! Won the toss.
368
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,720
Once again, the captain leads
from the front.
369
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,200
Gareth, we were all talking
about penalties...
370
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,480
I'm the captain, I'm taking them.
371
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:25,760
Change ends!
372
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,000
WHISTLE BLOWS
373
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,240
Dennis.
374
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,320
To me.
375
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,680
Good luck.
376
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:06,960
Come on, Gareth!
377
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,400
WHISTLE BLOWS
378
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,640
CHEERING
379
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,400
WHISTLE BLOWS
380
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,920
Bad luck!
381
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,080
Strike it!
382
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:47,160
Yes!
383
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:53,560
What's happened?
384
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,200
We won.
385
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,000
Really? Yes.
386
00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,400
Pretty good.
387
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,400
You should stick to quidditch.
388
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,360
Dad! We won!
389
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,080
That's great. Well done.
390
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:22,040
So you didn't get a chance
to put up the tree?
391
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:24,480
Oh. Sorry, son.
392
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,600
We're not doing Christmas this year.
I just can't face it.
393
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:33,640
Dad, sometimes I think you
choose to be miserable.
394
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,480
Dennis! He does!
395
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,320
It's like you made a rule -
you can never forget about Mum.
396
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:39,760
Well, it's not that easy.
397
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,640
You have to break the rules
sometimes. You can talk!
398
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,760
What? He's got a picture
of Mum under his mattress.
399
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,440
Bring it here now.
400
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,360
I thought I said no reminders
of your mum in this house.
401
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:34,840
But, Dad... This is going in
the bin where it belongs.
402
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,200
It's my only one.
403
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,680
I don't care.
404
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,600
I'm going out!
405
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:03,880
KNOCK ON DOOR
406
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,800
Dennis?
407
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,640
Are you OK? I want to wear
the dress again.
408
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,680
What? Go back to Raj's?
409
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:18,240
No. I want to do something
much bigger. Something crazy.
410
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,640
How crazy?
411
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,120
Really crazy.
412
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,480
MUSIC: Crazy In Love
by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z
413
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:52,960
Who's this?
414
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,360
My French exchange student.
415
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,920
Bonjour.
416
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:00,280
Je m'appelle...
417
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,320
Denise.
418
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,600
She's from Paris.
419
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,760
I thought all the exchanges
were from Marseille.
420
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:11,640
She's from Rue de Paris in Marseille.
421
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:17,560
Even if she is, nobody enters this
school, of which I am the secretary,
422
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,840
without written permission.
423
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,320
Oh, I cleared it with the Head.
424
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,960
Then let's go to the office
and check.
425
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,320
Now.
426
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,320
Sure. No problem.
427
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:34,000
I mean, it will look like
you're questioning his authority,
428
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,800
but you know best.
429
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,040
Lisa James, you can talk to me
until you're blue in the face,
430
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,560
but none of that is going
to change the fact that I've
431
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:45,760
just decided it's all fine.
432
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,400
Off to your lessons.
433
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:52,800
How long are you staying?
434
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,960
Cool bangle. Is it from France?
435
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,800
Is it hard having to speak
French all day?
436
00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,160
Non.
437
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:00,600
Sit down, shut up.
438
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:06,520
You're new.
439
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,080
She's from France.
440
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,160
Oh, bonjour.
441
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,560
No, that's all I've got.
442
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,720
I'm Mr Norris.
443
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:18,560
I teach PE,
444
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,560
but they also make me take history.
445
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,480
You know much history?
446
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:24,680
No.
447
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,600
Good. Then you'll fit right in.
448
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:30,840
Start of the First World War. 1914.
449
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,640
The Prime Minister
450
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,640
was Winston Churchill.
451
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,960
Gareth. Gareth Small.
452
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,600
Captain of the football team.
453
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:46,920
Bonjour, Gareth.
454
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,280
Je too enjoy le football.
455
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,320
So, do you score all the goals?
456
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,080
I can't lie, babes. Yes, I do.
457
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,920
Yeah, he does. What of it?
458
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,840
Because I heard it is a boy
called...
459
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:02,760
..Dennis.
460
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,040
Don't know who told you that.
461
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:05,560
Yeah, who told you that?
462
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:07,000
Everyone says it.
463
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,600
Yes, they say you are the one
who miss all the penalties.
464
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:16,240
No, no, babes, I'm the star player.
You must come and watch a game.
465
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,640
Don't come and watch a game.
466
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,040
Come on, Gareth!
467
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:26,760
Hey, Denise!
468
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,680
Denise! Hey, Denise!
469
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,080
This is just the best. I know.
470
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,400
Dennis? Sh!
471
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,240
What on earth are you doing? I'm just
being someone else for the day.
472
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,080
Are you nuts? It's fun.
473
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,360
It's not going to be fun
when everyone finds out.
474
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,760
You'll never live this down.
Only you've recognised me.
475
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,760
So far! You've got to get changed.
476
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,800
Relax! I've got it all
under control.
477
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:07,720
So, what's next?
478
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:10,960
Double French.
479
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,960
What? I'm getting out of here.
480
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,240
Bonjour!
481
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,760
ALL: Bonjour, Madame.
482
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:24,680
-oiselle. -oiselle Windsor.
483
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,040
Asseyez-vous.
484
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:31,800
Et vous, qui etes-vous?
485
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,200
Who are you?
486
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:41,240
This is Denise, she's my
German pen pal, Ms.
487
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,120
I thought you said she was
from France.
488
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,320
Good point. Thank you.
489
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,480
French pen pal.
490
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,640
Ah, soyez la bienvenue!
491
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,760
Quel grand plaisir
492
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,680
de vous accueillir parmi nous
dans notre humble classe!
493
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,760
C'est tout simplement merveilleux!
494
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,080
J'ai tellement de questions
a vous poser.
495
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,360
De qu'elle region de France
venez-vous?
496
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,680
Comment sont les ecoles
dans votre region?
497
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,480
Quel est votre passe temps favori?
Que font vos parents?
498
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,920
Faites nous part de vos premieres
passion de l'Angleterre?
499
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,920
May I speak in English
for one moment?
500
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,120
Yes, of course.
501
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:35,360
How can I put this,
how you say, politely?
502
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,320
Poliment! Poliment!
503
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,040
Madame Windsor. -oiselle.
504
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:46,160
I am very sorry,
but I am not understanding
505
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,920
anything you are saying...
506
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,520
..because of your very poor
French accent.
507
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:52,560
LAUGHTER
508
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,160
Do you need a tissue?
509
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,400
I'll be fine. I've just got
something in my eye.
510
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,960
I'll step outside for a minute.
My eye. L'oreille!
511
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:18,680
SHE WEEPS HYSTERICALLY
512
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,360
BELL RINGS
513
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,040
What was all that about?
514
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,200
Ms Windsor's one of the nice ones
and you totally humiliated her.
515
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,560
You could have told me you
had double French today.
516
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,080
I forgot. Sorry.
517
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,080
There's nothing I can do now.
Look out!
518
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:35,600
I don't know where he is.
519
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,440
He left the house this
morning before me.
520
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:39,000
Bunking off, I presume.
521
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,960
That's not like Dennis.
I'm worried about him.
522
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,160
I shall have to call your father.
523
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,280
Just let me have a quick
look round first?
524
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:00,120
What do you think you're doing?
525
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,040
Coming over here,
stealing our boyfriends?
526
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,000
I am not liking le Gareth
in that way.
527
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,200
Girls fight over me all the time.
528
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,720
ALL: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
529
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,560
CROWD GASPS
530
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,280
Oh, my days.
531
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:23,600
Dennis?
532
00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:34,600
Silence!
533
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,400
You.
534
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,920
The boy in the dress. Sir,
it's not his fault, I...
535
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,360
I said, silence.
536
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,760
Would you care
to explain yourself, boy?
537
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,400
Why did you come to school
today dressed in a...
538
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,000
..dress?
539
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,080
Don't know, sir.
540
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:19,280
"Don't know, sir."
541
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,440
You are expelled!
542
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:24,880
GASPS
543
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,080
But, sir... There are no buts, boy!
544
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,800
But, Mr Hawthorn, you didn't
expel Karl Bates
545
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,880
and he ate the school goldfish.
546
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,200
You are on a final warning,
Lisa James.
547
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:39,080
Please, sir, I don't want
to let my friends down.
548
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,600
It's the cup final on Saturday.
549
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:46,200
But, Dennis Simms, you will
not play on Saturday
550
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,520
or any other day.
551
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,440
You are no longer a pupil
at this school.
552
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,160
Leave the premises at once.
553
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:18,880
Expelled?
554
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,440
For wearing a dress?
555
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:24,200
And a wig.
556
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,960
Oh, and some earrings.
557
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,840
I'll never wear a dress,
so you've only half failed.
558
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,520
Why?
559
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,560
I just want to know why.
560
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,880
I guess...
561
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,240
..it made me happy.
562
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,120
Go to your room and
do your homework.
563
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:57,440
I've been expelled.
I haven't got any homework.
564
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,040
Then just go to your room.
565
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,560
You can check my cupboard,
if you like.
566
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,600
Just jeans and hoodies and...
567
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,000
KNOCK ON DOOR
568
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,480
He can't talk to you now, Darvesh.
569
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,200
Please, can you tell Dennis
he's still my friend?
570
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,520
Your son always stuck up for me
571
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,120
and it's very important he knows
that, whatever's happened,
572
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,560
he'll always be my friend.
573
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,520
PHONE BUZZES
574
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,480
Right, you're getting home-schooled
from now on.
575
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,160
But it's Saturday. I don't care.
576
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,640
I've circled Deal Or No Deal.
That's your maths.
577
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,240
Pointless, general knowledge.
578
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:18,440
Antiques Roadshow, history,
and I want them all watched
579
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,880
by the time I get
back from the depot, thank you.
580
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,000
TV ON QUIETLY
581
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:29,960
Oh, no.
582
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:32,320
Peter!
583
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,200
Can we please talk about Dennis?
584
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,000
You've got between here
and the lorry.
585
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,360
Dennis is...
He's such a special boy.
586
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,440
I do hope you're not being
too hard on him.
587
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:43,600
What if it was your son
who went to school in a dress?
588
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:47,840
Oh, I don't think Darvesh would go
to school in a dress.
589
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,680
He'd probably wear a salwar kameez.
590
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,560
Yeah, all right, a salwar kameez!
591
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,440
Well, you know, I'd...
592
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,000
Well, I'd...
593
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,880
See! You wouldn't like it either.
594
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,520
Peter, please, listen!
595
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,760
No, you listen to me for once!
596
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,840
All right, these are my boys
and I'll bring them up my way.
597
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,240
And I don't need your stupid
scatter cushions
598
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:10,480
and I certainly don't need
your advice.
599
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,800
But you love your son
whatever he does.
600
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:16,400
Don't you?
601
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,760
ANNOUNCER: The Under-16s School Cup
Final will kick off in 15 minutes.
602
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,320
15 minutes to kick off.
603
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:46,160
If they're under 16, then
I'm Angelina blooming Jolie.
604
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,600
Mr Hawthorn, I need to talk to you
about Dennis.
605
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,840
Lisa James, I am not interested
in your pleading.
606
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,760
But, sir... One more word
and I will expel you too.
607
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:13,840
So, here we are. Cup Final day.
608
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,720
ALL: Yes!
609
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:20,480
All right. I want you all to
remember what got you here.
610
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,120
Luck
611
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,920
and a lad in a frock
who got kicked out.
612
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:32,360
Now, the other lot, they've won
the Cup the last three years
613
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:35,280
and I'm going to be honest -
614
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,280
they play dirty.
615
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:42,640
They'll hack you down,
they'll elbow you in the face.
616
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,480
I'm just glad it's you
and not me out there.
617
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,560
But remember one thing -
618
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:54,520
win or lose, you made it
to a cup final,
619
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:57,080
which looks great on my CV.
620
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:58,800
Now get out there.
621
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,680
'With their main weapons knocked
out of commission,
622
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,200
'the platoon now faced a far
superior enemy force.
623
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,200
'The odds seemed insurmountable.'
624
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,080
Hiya, gang!
625
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,640
Got some bad news for you.
626
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,000
The referee has sprained his ankle.
627
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,520
Now, the stand-in referee's
cat's died
628
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,760
and he's very upset. Sad face.
629
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:36,960
But the good news is you've got me!
Yay! Happy face!
630
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,400
Now, I don't know if you know me.
I actually teach drama.
631
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,320
To be honest with you, I don't
know a huge amount about football,
632
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:46,920
but I've seen a couple of games
on TV and how hard can it be?
633
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,440
Right. Heads or tails?
634
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,280
Heads.
635
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,720
Oh, heads it is!
636
00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:57,920
Elm Forest to serve!
637
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,640
Oh, exciting!
638
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,120
Come on!
639
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,360
GROANS
640
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,000
HE SIGHS
641
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,400
We've got no chance without Dennis.
642
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,280
Shut up. We don't need him.
643
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,960
'With no protection offered by
the inexperienced commander,
644
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,720
'the platoon was quickly crushed by
the superior firepower
645
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:41,600
'of a German Panzer division.'
646
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,520
Red card!
647
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:55,440
Now, that wasn't nice, was it?
648
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,000
Say sorry.
649
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,040
Sorry.
650
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:02,240
Good boy. Now, deep breath.
651
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:04,000
Let out the anger.
652
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:07,600
Oh.
653
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:35,120
It's a massacre. You're the captain,
do something.
654
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:36,160
You're right.
655
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,680
You boys are bringing shame
on us all.
656
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:43,880
We need Dennis.
657
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,200
Get back out there and play,
Gareth Small.
658
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:55,440
'Without reinforcements,
defeat was imminent.'
659
00:44:58,880 --> 00:44:59,960
WHISTLE BLOWS
660
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,680
And that's the game.
Well done, gang.
661
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,040
It's half-time!
662
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,600
Sorry. My mistake. Interval!
663
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,800
The score is four points to nil.
664
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,680
'The troops were on the verge
of surrender,
665
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,680
'but, at the last minute,
a message arrived.'
666
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,440
PHONE BUZZES
667
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,080
HE SIGHS
668
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:41,120
Going to miss
the Bake Off at this rate.
669
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,200
WIND WHISTLES
670
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,200
MUSIC: I Want To Break Free by Queen
671
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:03,520
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
672
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,440
Oh!
673
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,800
Darvesh, you look gorgeous!
674
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:24,680
# I want to break free... #
675
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,160
Dennis! Come on, Dennis!
676
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:34,280
Go get them, girls.
677
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,800
Small! Get over here!
678
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,080
What on earth do you think
you're doing, boy?
679
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,520
Sir, you expelled Dennis
for wearing a dress,
680
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:48,080
but you can't expel us all.
681
00:46:52,720 --> 00:46:54,360
# I've fallen in love
682
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,720
# I've fallen in love
for the first time
683
00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:04,640
# And this time I know it's for real
684
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:07,680
# I've fallen in love
685
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:09,600
Yeah
686
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,200
# God knows
687
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,640
# God knows I've fallen in love... #
688
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:23,600
Are they wearing dresses?
689
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,160
# I can't get over the way you
love me like you do
690
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:30,240
# But I've got to be sure... #
691
00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:31,480
Look after these.
692
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:32,920
# When I walk out that door
693
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:37,080
# Oh, how I want to be free, baby
694
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,080
# Oh, how I want to be free
695
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:46,120
# Oh, how I want to break free... #
696
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,520
Peter! Peter!
697
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:23,720
Oh! Jaspreet. Oh, Peter!
698
00:48:23,720 --> 00:48:25,680
THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER
699
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,560
I have been thinking about
what you said.
700
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:30,840
You have to come with me.
701
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,920
What? Now? Yes. Now!
Something wonderful's happened.
702
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:36,200
Come on, John!
703
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:46,840
Oh, here we go again.
704
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:52,400
Peter, just look at
your beautiful son.
705
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,000
Look at what he can do.
706
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,400
# But life still goes on... #
707
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:03,920
Go on!
708
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:07,080
# I can't get used to living without,
living without, living without you
709
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:10,000
# By my side
710
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,160
# I don't want to live alone... #
711
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:15,520
4-4.
712
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:16,880
Oh, the drama!
713
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:18,400
# God knows
714
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:22,520
# Got to make it on my own
715
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,520
# So, baby, can't you see?
716
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:32,160
# I've got to break free. #
717
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:34,440
Come on, Dennis. Score one for me!
718
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,480
THUD
719
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:36,520
CROWD GROANS
720
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,640
Penalty! Penalty.
721
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:48,520
VOICES ECHO: Come on, Dennis. Come
on, you can do it. Come on, Dennis.
722
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,880
Hey. Dad, you came!
723
00:49:57,840 --> 00:49:59,640
Go get 'em, son.
724
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:01,960
WHISTLE BLOWS
725
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,160
Good luck, Gareth.
726
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:08,200
It's yours, mate, if you're up to it.
727
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:54,280
CHEERING
728
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:57,320
# I want to break free... #
729
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,000
WHISTLE BLOWS
730
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,200
Oh, my word, it's Elm Forest!
731
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,920
Did we win?
732
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:19,760
We won?!
733
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:23,840
Yes! Yes! I knew it!
734
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,280
I knew you could do it! Yeah!
735
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,760
Somebody should sign that lad.
736
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:42,720
This is my son.
737
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,800
This is my boy.
738
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:50,560
That's my brother, that is.
739
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:52,400
And I love him...
740
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,800
..more than I can ever say.
741
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:01,760
How did you get to be so good, son?
742
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,000
How did you get so ruddy good?
743
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:08,680
How beautiful.
744
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:14,560
Not you, boy.
You're not an Elm Forest pupil.
745
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:15,640
But I thought...
746
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:19,360
Well, you thought wrong.
Now get off the pitch this instant.
747
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:23,880
Hey, you wouldn't have that cup
if it wasn't for my Dennis.
748
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:29,760
Your son came to school
wearing a dress.
749
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:41,600
I couldn't be prouder of him.
750
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,160
We all are.
751
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:48,240
Come on, love, let's go home.
752
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:13,520
Have you found a new school yet?
753
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:17,360
Not yet. I'm going to miss you.
754
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,160
I'm going to miss you too.
755
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:25,360
Come on, the new Vogue's out today.
I'll buy you one as a present.
756
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,120
Aha, my favourite customers!
757
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:34,400
A very merry Christmas to you both.
758
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,880
BOTH: Merry Christmas, Raj.
759
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:41,480
Dennis, I am so sorry to
hear about your expulsion.
760
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:45,360
Thanks. What is so wrong with
wearing a dress, huh?
761
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:47,960
I often like to dress
entirely in red Lycra
762
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:49,840
and pretend I am on Strictly!
763
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:53,960
HE SINGS THEME TUNE
764
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,560
It's no biggie!
765
00:53:56,560 --> 00:53:59,840
Now, if only there was a way to
reason with your headmaster.
766
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:04,600
I've tried everything.
Hmm. You could talk to his sister.
767
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,920
His sister? Yes.
768
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:11,360
She comes here first thing every
Sunday morning to buy her newspaper.
769
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,120
You could ask her to speak to him.
770
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,440
I guess it's worth a try.
771
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:21,480
Now, would you like to buy
some of my special ice cream soup?
772
00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:23,720
What's ice cream soup?
773
00:54:23,720 --> 00:54:27,520
Something I invented while waiting
for the freezer repair man to come.
774
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:30,480
It also has oven chips
and fish fingers in it.
775
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:38,920
RAJ MUTTERS TO HIMSELF
776
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:50,840
This is silly. Who needs to
go to the shops this early?
777
00:54:58,080 --> 00:54:59,560
Think that's her?
778
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:03,240
She could be his sister.
She's very tall.
779
00:55:03,240 --> 00:55:06,480
And she's got enormous feet.
780
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:10,840
You don't think?
781
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:14,000
Mr Hawthorn!
782
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:17,240
Do you mean my brother?
783
00:55:17,240 --> 00:55:21,680
Erm, he's at home dining on toast
and eggs this fine morning.
784
00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:24,640
It is you!
785
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,200
Children, my name is
Harriet Hawthorn!
786
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,560
Pleased to make your acquaintance.
We know it's you.
787
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:35,720
Oh, all right. I'm Mr Hawthorn.
What of it?
788
00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:37,560
You're in... You're in a dress.
789
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:41,600
How dare you?!
This is a blouse and skirt ensemble.
790
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,640
All right, a blouse and skirt!
791
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:47,520
Listen, being a headmaster is
an extremely stressful job.
792
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:49,480
If I want to relax in my time off
793
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:52,200
wearing clothes
I find... comfortable,
794
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:53,480
well, that's my business.
795
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,200
I was comfortable in a dress
until you expelled me.
796
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:59,120
But you were breaking a school
rule. It's completely different.
797
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:03,440
Oh, yeah, I bet all the kids at
school will see it the same way,
798
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:05,040
when we tell them.
799
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:09,640
Are you trying to blackmail me? No.
800
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:14,360
Er, yes. Sorry, yes.
801
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,160
What do you want?
802
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,080
Dennis Simms.
What do you think you're doing here?
803
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:37,080
Look at this. It's a monstrosity.
804
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:41,400
It's still school uniform.
I just gave it a little reedit.
805
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:45,200
In all my years,
I've never seen anything quite...
806
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:49,320
So very creative. Please.
807
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:58,240
What?
808
00:57:03,520 --> 00:57:07,000
That's a very pretty frock you're
wearing today, Miss Price.
809
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:10,600
Oh, thank you.
810
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:16,440
It's, er, just from the shop
on the high street.
811
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:24,840
Do they stock it for the...
812
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,160
larger lady?
813
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:37,760
You're back? Yeah.
What about Hawthorn?
814
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:41,840
He, erm, came round to
my way of thinking.
815
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:44,080
I'll see you later.
816
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,400
Oh, right, good luck.
817
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:50,880
Miss?
Oh. Oh, you're back.
818
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,360
I'm sorry I said you had a bad
French accent.
819
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:56,440
You've actually got the best
French accent out there,
820
00:57:56,440 --> 00:57:58,440
and that includes all
the ones in France.
821
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:02,400
Oh, do you really think so?
Merci beaucoup, Dennis.
822
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,440
I must say, you pulled off
that dress rather well.
823
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:08,000
Tres a la mode. Thanks, Miss.
824
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,920
I've, er, I've written
a play for the spring term
825
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:14,560
and there's a perfect
part for you in it.
826
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:15,720
It's called Joan of Arc.
827
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:17,800
Can you guess who
I want you to play?
828
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:20,960
Joan? Correctement! Yes!
829
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,800
You see, she was a girl
that wore boys' clothes.
830
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:27,440
So you would be a boy
dressed as a girl dressed as a boy.
831
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,960
That would really make people
think, wouldn't it? I suppose.
832
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:35,080
Tres bien.
It's all in French, by the way.
833
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:48,120
Hey.
834
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:52,760
This is yours.
835
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:58,840
I'm sorry.
836
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:00,760
I miss her too.
837
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,720
John, you're not going to
eat all that, yeah? Why not?
838
00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:12,760
Well, because we've got guests
coming for our little
839
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:17,960
Christmas party. Who? Just some
friends and, er, a lady friend.
840
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:21,000
KNOCK AT DOOR
841
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:26,000
Happy Christmas!
842
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,720
Happy Christmas to you, too.
843
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:33,360
Aren't you going to ask us in, then?
844
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:37,040
Oh, of course, come in, come in,
come on. Through there.
845
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,360
All right, Darvesh. All right?
846
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:43,040
Peter! You bad, bad boy!
847
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:44,560
Eh?
848
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:48,360
ALL: Eurgh! Come on!
849
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:55,000
Wow! Perfect, Peter.
Yeah, don't start that.
850
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:58,200
Peter, OK, I'm starving.
Got any mince pies?
851
00:59:58,200 --> 00:59:59,840
Put that down!
852
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,440
I'm Dennis.
853
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:17,040
I live in an ordinary house,
in an ordinary street
854
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,200
in an ordinary town.
855
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:24,720
I feel different.
But, then, doesn't everyone?
856
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:29,280
Merry Christmas!
92344
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