Original subtitles

What the heck?

Lama Sanji, we have not been introduced.

I am Stanislav, Lieutenant First Class of the People's Red Army.

You have no right to be here in Tibet.

You are invaders.

An exploratory mission.

Soon, very soon, we shall take the whole country.

Your experiments here intrigue me.

I wish to know more.

I wish to know more, Lama.

I insist that I know more.

I will know.

Be careful with him.

Be delicate.

You know, Ruma has it he is more than a hundred years old.

Our positions are secure.

We march.

By circling the area, we can surround and reach the entire population.

Nobody must escape.

Our mission, our objective.

It's hideous and astonishing why someone would attack such a worthy cause.

I'll show you something even more astonishing, Steed. Just follow me.

What did he die of? What do you think?

Old age.

I must talk to Mrs. Peel about it.

Hello? Mrs. Peel?

A Russian soldier who died of old age.

Well, everyone does eventually.

But this one decimated half of Berkshire before he went.

Sounds like quite a problem.

Yes, and one we may never solve.

Oh, hey.

Hello, Steed.

Mrs. Peel.

How do you know it was me?

I read the papers.

You haven't changed.

You've got a long memory.

Long, happy memories.

Yes.

You're going to France, then?

Yes, we're leaving right away.

Well, good luck, Steed. And I've changed my name.

I'm not Mrs. Peel anymore.

Yes, I know.

But you're still Mrs. Peel to me.

Goodbye.

A bit bigger, huh?

Calling in reinforcements.

Reinforcing a hunch.

We both picked up this.

So, we're all off to France.

The lot of us.

Vive la... Republic.

Well,

anyway, vive la France.

I spy with my little eye something beginning with L.

L? L.

Ladybirds. Where?

We just passed them. Oh, no, not ladybirds.

Legs. Gambit.

Leather. Alpha leather, very good, Steve. No, it's not that.

Lipstick.

Impossible. Oh, why?

Oh, my little eye can't possibly see under my little nose.

In the mirror.

It begins with M.

I just see the lipstick.

Your lipstick's wrong, anyway.

Oh, I give up.

So do I.

Les lapins.

Come again?

Lapins. Rabbits. There were some just back there.

Well, that's cheating, playing it French.

Oh, I don't know.

She's got a point there. I thought we are in France.

Yeah, but unfortunately not in the part where they've got all the clothes and

the shoes.

Or the follies.

Actually, why are we in France? Steve needs to replenish his cellar. No.

Because of this place.

French filling station.

We should have filled up in England.

It looks like it's been hit by a tornado.

No, mademoiselle, by a grenade.

I'm Colonel Martin, by the way. You are?

Purdy. Purdy.

My gambit.

Monsieur?

Well, steed?

It's familiar.

Well, you were in the war.

Good old 1941 and all that.

Since you mention it, 1965.

It was a Berkshire village.

In 1965, it was attacked by a Russian soldier.

Russian?

The garage owner survived, and he's been talking over and over about a Russian

soldier.

I thought he was delirious, but... I don't think he was delirious. Why would

anyone, Russian, whatever, attack this place?

I don't know.

nor do I understand the reason for attacking the hippies.

Hippies? Three young men.

They died in here.

What were they wearing?

Oh, a la mode, jeans, the old army surplus jacket.

Uniforms? What had once been uniforms, yes.

Is that important?

I don't know.

But the attack in 1965, the victims were wearing uniforms.

Salvation Army.

Let's take a look outside.

Very well.

The garage owner, did he say how old the Russian was?

20, 22?

Steve, why is the Russian's age important?

You're not going to believe this.

But the soldier that made that attack on the Berkshire village was 78 years old.

You're right. I'm not going to believe it.

You will be operating far from home without a proper base or lines of

communication.

So, the ammunition must be used sparingly and to maximum effect.

You must concentrate upon military targets.

Only military men.

There was no trail to follow, but it is my guess if we are dealing with a

military man, he would take to the high ground.

from base but not alone there will be other units nearby you must find them

them and unite

No resistance.

No sign of returning fire.

Obviously the deckers and westerners have grown weaker over the years.

Come!

You drive like an Englishman.

Well, on the wrong side of the road.

Okay. Okay.

I don't understand it.

That shuttle they were attacking, it's empty.

Completely empty.

It has been empty for years.

Don't you know that Les Landes are considered to be the healthiest regions

France, owing to the pine -scented air?

Well, what a great city round there now.

How odd.

An X -5 pin grenade.

Without the pin!

Eh?

Oh, I see what you mean.

Sorry.

What's so special about an X -5 pin grenade, anyway?

It's practically a museum piece.

It went out of use when?

1944? 45.

Sounds as if they've gone.

Sounds.

Are you all right? I'm fine. Okay.

Sniper. In that street.

You got us penned in.

I don't know.

I reckon I could sprint to the tree without him hitting me.

I reckon you could.

But what then?

You start climbing that tree, you're sitting down.

That isn't what's on my mind.

A man can run through a wooden door.

Hey. My karate master told me that anything is possible.

As long as a man focuses his mind.

As long as he concentrates.

Anything.

Gambit, that was magnificent.

That was damn silly.

I must have a word with my karate master.

I think I've dislocated my knee.

Well, you've more than dislocated his neck.

It's broken.

You're the Russian linguist.

I'm not absolutely sure, but... Private Sokolov, Russian Army.

No. That uniform.

It's years out of date.

Well, so is he. According to this paybook, he was born in 1925.

Eh?

1925? That would make him not a day over 52 years old.

Vasili! Ivan.

Good to see you again.

It's been how long since we last met?

33 years.

33 years.

And now we are together again.

Comrades in arms.

Come.

Have you

learned any news?

Not yet.

I've met no opposition.

The countryside seems quiet.

Obviously, the war hasn't reached here yet.

But it will be different when we get to Paris.

You'll see.

We have other targets first.

Near here.

Here.

And here.

Excellent. We will join forces and attack them together.

Yes.

Yes, okay.

Right away.

The day hasn't been all bad.

They haven't destroyed the champagne.

I thought you English drank only beer.

Beer? Beer is for the thirst.

But wine, good wine like this, is for the fences.

I believe we are dealing not with the fences, but the scentless.

To attack this place.

Perhaps 30 years ago it would have made sense, but now... 30 years ago?

Just after the war, when the Cold War was very cold.

Then this chateau was the headquarters of Allied security.

Depara, Commander.

Well, we still have a small war left to fight, don't we?

If we take the right flank, your men infiltrate here along the road. Captain!

We're pulling back. Pulling back? We could ambush. No direct confrontation

troops. Those were our orders. They still are.

Our designated targets are more important.

52 years old? Quite impossible, Mr. Gambit.

Then his army paybook must be wrong.

It must be because I most certainly am not. I have examined him thoroughly, and

that, Mr. Gambit, is the body of a young, muscular, virile man in his

twenties.

Why not call me Mike?

Mike? I'm Janine.

Janine. You examined him thoroughly?

Every centimeter.

Inch. We British do things by inches.

Every inch.

And he was perfectly normal?

Very. Very normal.

One last question.

Will you have... Apartment B, 24 Rue de Fleur. I shall be ready at 8 .30.

You'll choose the restaurant?

Apartment B, 24 Rue de Fleur.

I'm an excellent cook.

But you may choose what we do afterwards.

Yes, sir.

I'm sure I'll think of something.

Yes. You have the look of an imaginative man.

8 .30, then.

Any news military units

are searching.

Yes. Would you pass the information on, please?

Yes, of course.

They've moved on, heading south.

South? What is south of here?

Open country, a few shuttles.

Why aren't you mounting a full -scale military operation, Colonel, with

airstrikes and tanks?

So far, it seems we are up against only a dozen, perhaps two dozen, crazy men.

Well, if you can contain it without starting a nationwide panic.

Exactly. If we can contain it.

Yes, just now.

Another attack about eight kilometers north. Good.

Move. I must inform the parade.

I want one alive.

I want him alive.

The other way.

Hello, comrade.

Very good.

But not good enough.

I found the way to

a man's stomach.

Uh -oh.

It's not through his heart.

It's incredible.

They used to declare war.

Now, it's like bandits.

My best possessions.

A mess.

Even worse, in the grand room, they shot Napoleon.

He's no more.

What else isn't new?

I heard nothing on the radio about the invasion.

Took us by surprise.

The Russians.

We must be careful with him. He's very old and fragile.

Captain Vasily, enlisted in 1941, age 29.

That makes him... 65.

It's incredible.

Total degeneration.

The tissues, the skin tone, muscles, all have degenerated with senile decay.

Instant old age, if you like.

I definitely do not like.

I want to creep gently into the twilight of my years, gathering happy memories

of life.

And beautiful women, as I go.

This apparently young man was in fact very old. Age kept at bay.

Ah, drugs, hypnosis.

I'm not sure.

Perhaps a combination of both.

There was one thing.

I x -rayed the body and... What is it?

I thought it was a silver plate.

If a man has sustained a skull fracture, it is not unusual to insert a silver

plate, but... But?

Well, it's not the usual shape for such a thing.

It reminds me.

It reminds you?

Well, it looks like a bug.

A bug? A bugging device.

A small radio transmitter.

It's a terrible sacrilege.

It's... It's all right,

friends, allies.

Steve, tell me about the filling station.

The filling station that was attacked, our reason for coming here.

A lonely, isolated French village. And yet, years ago, it was flourishing

because of the army base nearby, the airfield.

Yes, a U .S. Air Force base.

But it was closed down in 1948.

Ah.

It was an airfield near Wintwick.

Wintwick?

That little Berkshire village 12 years ago.

This place.

It once was Allied headquarters.

The Chateau.

Headquarters of Allied security.

All military targets.

Yes, but military targets that are 30 years out of date.

Or perhaps their Michelin map was also out of date.

Perhaps our prisoner could enlighten us.

A prisoner?

We didn't come empty -handed, Colonel.

Napoleon is dead.

Well, that to happen.

General, this is John T.

General Gaspar.

Old and revered soldier.

English.

Where were you?

On the Somme, Monsieur, I asked the English battalion to cover my left

They never turned up.

Perhaps they got lost.

Have you looked since?

You make jokes, Monsieur Steed.

Steed.

There was a Sir Everington Steed at Waterloo. A relative?

You can't hold me entirely responsible for Waterloo, General.

Everington Theed was a brilliant soldier.

It is my contention that he taught the Duke of Wellington all he knew.

Really?

Well, as a matter of fact, he's my great -great -great -uncle.

Then I'm privileged, monsieur.

Privileged!

Captain Vasily.

And yet... You know this man?

Well, I knew Vasily, but years ago, years ago, I was military

attaché in Moscow and... No, there couldn't possibly be

Vasily.

Unless... Yes.

Vasily had a son.

Your father.

I knew your father.

General Gaspar, did he never mention me?

He taught me the delights of vodka and caviar.

I taught him the art of dancing with a ship.

Should you be unfortunate enough to fall into the hands of the enemy, your duty

is clear.

You must escape.

Even if you die in the attempt, try to escape.

Forty. We used to practice the favor in the military barracks.

He was a good pupil, your father.

But I caught him once across the neck.

It's impossible.

It cannot be that easy.

Why, if it were he, he would be older than I am.

It's my duty to escape.

Duty?

As a prisoner of war.

What war?

You mock me.

It's also my duty to destroy the enemy.

And you're most certainly that.

Gambit, we wanted him alive.

Conflict of interests.

I wanted you alive.

Who was he?

Aye. I thought he was a silly, but how could he be?

Thirty years or more, he would be an old man now.

Like this?

You failed.

You failed disastrously.

You will be stripped of your office and all privileges.

And then you will be tried for gross negligence.

Enter.

Colonel Stanislav, you know, of course, why I have summoned you.

You may go, but you will remain under house arrest.

The blame is on their shoulders, but the cure is on yours, Colonel.

A malfunction of deficient equipment and poor design.

All those responsible will be liquidated.

What happened?

It is not the case of what happened, Colonel, but what is happening.

You have heard the news from France?

I take no interest in Western affairs.

But this is very much our affair.

You recall the facts.

July 25th, 1965.

Barker, England. I remember.

This.

Blipped once.

No more than a hiccup.

And one soldier responded.

The whole incident was covered.

Forgotten.

One hiccup, one blip.

Three days ago, on the seventh orbit of the 2000 cycle,

the satellite went wrong again.

Not a blip this time, Colonel.

A full signal of some 22 minutes duration.

The satellite was over France at the time.

There has been immediate response.

Several units of our brave commandos are already fighting for their lives just

west of Paris.

There are probably more hastening to the cause.

They will all die naturally.

Die?

My own father?

Yes, Colonel.

I am aware that your father is among them, but...

Our country comes first.

Does it not?

Of course.

But why must they die?

Colonel, times have changed.

Yes, yes, I am familiar with your guerrilla work in the early days.

But times have changed, and attitudes.

We have peace with our western neighbors now.

Peace? A tenuous peace.

They taunt.

It is imperative that we do not disturb the balance.

It was perhaps meant.

A sign from the gods.

Perhaps we should take advantage.

Launch a full -scale war.

Gods, Colonel?

We do not believe in gods now, surely.

Only the great and glorious cause.

Of course, naturally.

What do you want of me?

You infiltrated.

Our secret army.

Now you must help us to destroy them.

Yes, Colonel.

Even your own father, or else there are still plenty of empty cells, Colonel.

You will leave for our embassy in Paris right away.

Ambassador Toy. Colonel.

For one man to bow to the other suggests inequality.

And we are all equal. Yes, Colonel.

I'm sorry.

To say sorry is to admit failure.

I am... I am pleased to see you.

At the moment, perhaps.

But in a few minutes, you may not be.

Have you heard the reports?

Russian soldiers fighting in France.

Last year it was flying saucers.

They are Russian soldiers.

They are fighting.

Brave men.

Fighting men.

My own father amongst them.

Your own father?

Forgive me, Colonel, if I sit down.

Him up for France?

Yes. Yes.

will not believe me. If you say so, Colonel, I will believe.

Very well.

In 1945, where were you?

I, uh, I was, uh, I was in commerce until I saw the error of my ways.

I was in the mountains, a secret project.

The Cold War was at its height.

I was a young man then, just a lieutenant first class, but young,

prime.

We found the monk, both holy man and medical man.

Both medical and holy. He professed to be

102 years old, but had the mind and the face of a 30 -year -old. So we

inquired further.

Lama Sanji, I know it is the destiny for a monk such as yourself to suffer, but

such suffering, and in the name of what?

So, you are 102 years old, huh?

Well, now, ask yourself this question, Lama.

Do you want to reach 103?

I saw your Tsar turn back the Mongolian hordes.

Mongolian hordes?

That would be 1854.

1855.

I was but a boy then.

That image stays with me.

The blush of the sun.

The cry of wounded horses.

And an imperial guard.

A bull of a man.

Seven feet at least.

And almost as broad.

There was a legend about such a guard.

There is no legend.

I saw him.

I saw him with these eyes.

These old, young eyes.

I saw him.

We inquired further, and so we found the sleeping dragon.

That's the end of it, indeed.

What are the newspapers called?

The Red Panel?

Well, perhaps we will never know how or why, but it's over.

Come, they have shot Napoleon, but not his cognac.

To the end of it, and the beginning of something else.

The beginning of something else.

Mr. Steed, there is a telephone call for you.

You might need it.

On the wall, please. Thank you, gentlemen.

Steed, hello.

Steed. Yes.

At last I've tracked you down.

Toy! Is that you, Toy?

How's the black market in Moscow?

Steve, please, remember everything is monitored.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

How are things, Toy?

Terrible. You know I like Paris.

So do I.

In 24 hours it may be gone.

Gone? Are the Arabs buying Paris too?

I'm serious, Steve.

Paris, London, New York, Moscow.

Soon they may just be nothing.

Piles of ashes.

Nothing. What on earth are you talking about?

World War III.

Toy. Steve, I... I will bring you back.

Toy!

What was all that about?

World War III.

World War III?

Well, Martin, seems it isn't all over. Another attack.

Must be an isolated group, overlooked by the Paris.

One way to find out.