Original subtitles

We'll eat tonight.

That's one thing you can always say, as long as you're with Mullins.

Mind you, Teddison, I must say I count myself very lucky to have fallen with

you.

You've obviously been a man of quality.

I can tell that by that fancy, educated accent of yours.

And the elegant clothes.

Bye.

Thank you.

You don't change one bit.

Come and have a drink.

He's here, Doctor.

Somewhere down here. I called you as soon as I spotted him.

He isn't an exact match, but good enough.

And with your skill. Ah, here he is.

Well, Doctor?

Well, there's a lot of work to do.

You,

my friend, are going to be Prime Minister one day.

What?

Can't be easy being the wife of a... Our next prime minister.

I didn't say that. No, but everybody else is.

You know me, darling. I never count my chickens.

I wish we counted the contents of this hamper.

We've forgotten the champagne.

No, we haven't. I left it in the car. On ice for a special occasion.

And having my wife to myself for once is a special occasion.

Well, you've been gone a long time.

Where's the champagne?

What? The champagne.

Oh, I forgot.

Where did you put it?

For you put it. In the car.

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

Oh.

Mark!

It's not something I've said, I hope. You're cutting me dead.

Please. That's very formal. What are we doing? Practicing for higher office?

John, I'm sorry. A little preoccupied. How are you? I'm fine. I'm sure you're

busy. We'll talk further on Saturday.

Saturday? Are you sure you haven't forgotten the old school cricket, man?

Of course not. See you there.

Fine. And don't forget to bring the delectable Wendy.

Doctor. Mark Clifford, who is thought to have suffered a heart attack, was taken

immediately to hospital, where all efforts to revive him failed.

He leaves a widow, Wendy Clifford, who it is thought will... So Clifford's

Dead?

All that time and preparation wasted.

All that tuition.

Worse than that, Prater, there'll be an autopsy.

I always intended to. Yes, you always intended.

But the point is you didn't cover all traces.

That's why I pulled you out of the gutter. To eliminate all error.

That's why I pay you.

Both of you.

A great deal of money.

Surely no one is going to connect. This one is different.

Steed.

John Steed is personally involved.

It was quick, I can assure you.

John. I'm sorry.

I was looking for straws of comfort.

But there aren't any other.

I had a premonition.

After we came back from that day in the country last week, there was a tension

about him. He... He changed.

We'll meet him.

This way, sir.

It's operated by me.

Same school, same cricket team.

Both in love with the same woman.

It's like losing a brother.

Oh, dear, there is an air of gloom in here this morning.

A definite air of gloom. I felt it as soon as I came in. I thought, gloom.

Despair. It's a sort of lack of joie de vivre.

It's rather like being at a funeral.

It's rather like being at two funerals.

Oh, Steed, I'm so sorry.

That's all right, Purdy. You couldn't have known.

Is there anything we can do?

Yes.

You can both join me in a toast to Mark.

He would have approved of that.

He lived his life to the full and never looked back.

Hello?

Yes, Steed's here. What can I... I break in where?

I noticed it straight away, sir, as soon as I came in. A bit of a draft.

I mean, it's always cold in here. Has to be. But no drafts.

Thank you.

But why?

Why would anyone want to break in here?

Steed? That scar there.

Appendectomy.

That's where they took his appendix out.

There's nothing strange in that, is there? I could swear it wasn't there

That scar wasn't there before.

Steve, there is little point in removing the appendix after the patient has

expired.

He didn't have an appendix scar.

Oh, yes, he did. Mark Clifford, appendectomy, July 1969.

It would be suspicious if there wasn't a scar.

You must be mistaken, Steve.

Mind you, sir, those files aren't infallible.

Remember last year, we had Sir Nigel Rayner in here.

Wife insisted he should have had a mole on his arm. Record said there should

have been a mole, but no mole. He must be mistaken. There was supposed to be a

scar. There is a scar.

The only thing is, is why anyone should want to break in here.

Certainly not to steal his appendix.

Sir Nigel Rayner. Yes. He should have had a mole.

On his right arm, yes. But there was no mole. No trace.

Excuse me.

Nigel's mole on his right arm.

Just here.

And then it wasn't.

Not when they buried him.

I tried to tell them at the time, but they wouldn't listen to me.

I'm listening to you, Lady Rayner.

Nigel was never the same after that trip to Switzerland.

Not the same at all.

I think he met another woman on that trip.

Mind you, I did follow him once, and all he did was go to a mission hall.

What?

Mission hall.

You know, one of those places for drunks and down and out.

That shows you how Nigel had changed. Mission hall, indeed.

How else had he changed?

Oh, subtle things.

He became forgetful about silly, intimate things that matter.

Our anniversary, pet names, our son's cricket match.

Cricket match?

I think they stole his mole.

I beg your pardon?

Nigel's mole.

I know it sounds stupid, but I think someone, for some reason, removed it.

Now, isn't that stupid?

I don't think it's stupid at all. Thank you very much for your help.

this a private game?

Or can anybody play?

You've paid your subscription, haven't you?

They've certainly not seen that pump -action shotgun, eh?

What's wrong with it? Damn fine piece.

It's not a gentleman's gun.

I've just not seen it.

Pull!

Okay, so we can both shoot.

Peace.

I'm not annoyed with you, Gambit.

After all, you can't help your background.

Fault!

I can't let you get away with everything.

Tried to call you earlier. No answer.

Probably.

Fault!

Probably because I was out.

I did reach that conclusion all on my own.

How's it the mission?

For the distressed and needy. Halt!

What? Very interesting place.

Full of unfortunates people don't seem to care about, except... except Dr.

Prater. Halt!

Oh, nothing wrong about that.

There usually is a medical man associated with those places.

A plastic surgeon?

Now, Mark Clifford walked right by me just before he died.

Didn't seem to recognise me at all. It's very unlike him.

His wife said that he was changed.

Steed, you're... Lady Rainer said that her husband was changed, that he was

different. You're not suggesting that he... Putting three and three together,

men change, a plastic surgeon, and... And a mission hall where you'll find a

of raw material.

Exactly. Your background will stand you in good stead.

Eh? When you become distressed and needy.

Oh, I see.

Well, I can do an Irish accent.

Grow a bit of stubble.

The details I leave to you.

Might be fun.

Might be.

Purdy at least will find it amusing.

She isn't going to know.

If I'm right and doubles are being infiltrated, how do we know it is Purdy?

No two girls could have a figure like that.

Mark Clifford was my oldest friend.

I've known him since I was so high.

It reminds me, I've got to see Wendy Clifford.

Get her to change her mind about something.

An exhumation order?

You have to sign it, Wendy.

But John... No, Mary, I just buried him.

It's important.

Yes.

Sir, Prater.

Just a report that the operation on Mark Clifford has been successfully

concluded.

Yes.

Yes, we're now moving on to our next project.

Harold Bilston.

Now, let's have a look at you.

Hmm.

As perfect a match as you'll ever be.

I want it done quietly, Mullins.

You know me, Doctor.

After him!

Thank you.

I don't believe it.

I do not believe it. You've got to believe your own eyes, Peters.

Mark Clifford had an appendix scar, but he still had his appendix.

Well, perhaps he had two appendix.

Or when they did the op, perhaps they couldn't find his appendix.

After all, it's only a teensy -weeny thing. No bigger than... Fingerprints.

No, no, no, no. Bigger than that.

Mark Clifford's fingerprints.

I want a full set, so we can compare them with the file.

Right.

Clifford, you said?

Clifford. Mark Frederick Clifford.

Deceased.

Deceased? Oh, that accounts for it, then.

Accounts for what?

Oh, why I couldn't find the file right away.

Destroyed.

Destroyed? So soon? He's only been dead.

Destroyed. I'm sorry.

Well, thank you.

Definitely destroyed.

Destroyed? The man's dead.

It's a bit soon.

You got that from him personally?

What's a normal procedure?

I'm not going to start behaving differently now, am I?

Do you remember that time on the river, Purdy?

What?

We were in a boat.

I hope so, if we were on a river.

It was a very special time.

We were both just a teeny bit tipsy.

You said something.

I did something.

You didn't. I might have.

You couldn't have.

If you had done, I'd have remembered it.

Morning, Torrance. What's this about an exhumation order?

Exhumation order? Don't play games with me, Steed. My secretary's just told me

you've applied for an exhumation order on Mark Clifford.

Now, look, I absolutely forbid this.

All we need is for the newspapers to get hold of that story. I'm afraid you're

too late.

Done?

And?

Oh, man, what did you find?

I'll let you know some other time.

Steed!

Steed!

Best of blood vessel, Torrance. What's wrong?

Sir, I appeal to you as executive in charge of home security.

Surely you have some control over that... that man.

John Steed been treading on your toes, has he?

Exhuming Clifford's body.

What? And badgering Lady Renner. Oh.

Well, I'd better have a word with him. Pull him back into line.

And if he doesn't? Well, he'll just have to be replaced, won't he?

Please.

It was just about here.

Mark was very fond of this place.

We had a picnic.

You were together the whole time? Yes.

No.

No, he went off back to the car to get some champagne.

And John, when he came back, he was behaving oddly.

He was different.

Stay here.

Right, Mike Gambit, we know you're in there. Come out with your hands high.

Assume the position.

Trust you to think of that position.

I have just been having lunch with Torrance at his request.

He probably fancies you. I don't know, it's purely an official engagement.

Well, he did look at me rather strangely a couple of times.

He's definitely a ladies' man. He sort of wears fake tan and keeps fit. And

fancies you.

He really wanted to talk to me about Steed.

Steed?

Do you think Clifford's death affected him more than we know?

Why? Well, he's been behaving oddly.

What way? Oddly?

No, he seems remote somehow. He's changed. He's not himself.

I haven't seen a toothbrush, have you?

Sorry. You're packing!

Ah, now that must be A for observation.

You're going away somewhere.

A plus.

Base 47.

Base 47? Why?

I know. Steve's idea.

Get along to base 47, he said.

And that's where I'm getting along to.

There's no doubt about it now.

The real Mark Clifford was murdered and buried in the woods.

The man who had a heart attack and died was the fake.

And speaking of fakes...

How do I look?

Terrible. But that's marvellous.

A bit too much in character.

Report back when you can.

Right.

I don't think so. But it could be made to work.

Shaved, a new hair job. It could be made to work.

There is a similarity, but superficial.

Isn't that what Terrison always says? Craig.

Craig, Terrison, what's the difference?

Give me just the beginnings of the resemblance, he says.

It's a great opportunity.

Mike Gambit.

It may be too soon. The Clifford business is still in the public mind.

to take our chances while we can.

That's another thing the boss always says.

At least see him.

Very well.

Better than I expected.

What's his name?

Walton. Cherry Walton, from Dublin. And before that, nobody knows.

Oh, Stuart.

Take your hands off.

Is he a drinker?

100 % lush.

A good bath would help, too.

All right.

Take him away. Lock him up.

Cold turkey, Terry.

No, please.

No. No,

sir.

Three knife -long days.

All on your own.

Not a single visitor to disturb you.

Dry you out.

Then see if you're ready to go up in the world.

Or back on the scrap heap.

Come on, I'll come.

Didn't I tell you?

Three days ago when I turned this key, you looked better.

There's even a gleam in those bleary old eyes.

Come on.

Doctor will want to take a look at you.

Let me out, sir!

Please, sir.

You've finished. He's only just started.

Torrance, I got your call for information on general security.

I have it here. I'd be pleased to read it out for you to take down.

It begins with a whole attitude of screening suspected agents working in...

Yes?

Oh, yes, sir.

The tape of the real Gambit has arrived.

I've just been listening to it, as a matter of fact.

Chances of success?

Oh, we shall do our best.

Mullins has just gone to fetch him now.

See what condition he's in.

Come on, the doctor wants to see you.

Anyway, you'll catch yourself to pieces with that.

Steady as a rock.

That's very good.

Come on.

Much better.

Three days can make a big difference to a man, hmm?

Yes.

It gives him time to think, too.

That's what I did, I thought, when I... when I wasn't chasing leprechauns up the

wall, I thought.

And?

Well, I've decided to go along with whatever it is you want.

But the price is high.

At least a hundred pounds.

A hundred pounds.

A hundred pounds?

A hundred pounds.

Walton, we are thinking in terms of hundreds of thousands of pounds.

We'd better get something done about his hair. Get it cut, hmm? And the eyebrows

in the middle.

Right. And get him into the feel of a proper suit as quickly as possible.

And we'll deal with the voice, because that's going to be the most difficult.

You see the resemblance?

What? To yourself, man.

Well, I suppose there is a sort of likeness.

Who is he?

He is you.

Or rather, you are going to become him.

I am?

A switch.

Like they sometimes do with the race horses.

Exactly.

I saw so.

Yeah, but wait a minute.

Supposing he comes along, the real one.

Supposing we bump into each other.

No fear of that.

Mullin intends bumping into him first.

Don't you, Mullin?

Not so much a bump as a twang.

That business of Clifford's exhumation.

Why did you do that?

I thought I had my reasons.

Well, tread softly, huh?

Avoid chance with toes.

If I can.

Good job.

I'll get your coat.

Steve, what's this about Base 47?

I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company.

Don't worry, Freddie, I'm just leaving.

You look... well, beautiful as always, of course, but... concerned.

Something bothering you?

I'm not sure.

Well, whatever it is, it can't be Base 47. We closed that down a month ago.

You closed it down?

Craig? Oh, thank you, John.

Goodbye, Purdy.

You won't forget what I said, huh?

Good to see you.

Oh, yes.

Now then, Purdy, what can I... Purdy?

Purdy.

Purdy.

You keep promising.

You keep saying, Mike Gambit, one of these days.

And I keep telling you I'm looking forward to it, Purdy.

I'm looking forward to it, Purdy.

I'm looking forward to it.

Who the hell is Purdy, anyway?

Accent. Sorry.

Getting luck, Watson?

Very nice.

Mind you, it'll be my turn one day.

One day I'll find myself somewhere that's a double for everyone.

Maybe not exact.

Maybe not identical twins like the boss, but near enough.

And once the doc's operated, put the finishing touches. The boss?

You mean there's someone higher than Dr. Prater?

Who?

Well, you're one of us now.

Why shouldn't you know?

It all happened, oh, five years ago now.

The boss was down in his luck.

Like you were when we found you.

He saw himself.

Him. His identical double.

Driving in a large limousine. And so he swapped places?

Mm -hmm.

Of course, he, that is, we, had to dispose of the other fellow first.

But where's the profit? Hundreds of thousands of pounds. How?

How?

How?

Secrets.

Secrets. We don't just swap any old person.

There's got to be somebody in power with access to secret...

Information. Information that could be sold to the highest bidder.

Like the boss.

He's very important in security.

How ready is he?

Close.

Close enough?

I think so.

Right.

Right what?

We're sending him in as soon as possible.

Not with the real Gambit around.

Exactly.

We have firm information that Gambit is at base 47.

And that's where you're going, Mullins.

To kill him.

Where's Gambit?

Where's Gambit?

Oh dear.

It's so, so divine.

But you were so

provided for, you poor, poor man.

To keep us off the streets, you mean. Out of mischief.

But it is wonderful that anyone should care so much.

Tell me, who's responsible for all this good work?

Who's behind all this?

Prater, I suppose.

Prater? Yeah, Dr Prater. He's the one.

It's probably just a question for his guilt.

Why is that? Well, he doesn't do any real doctoring.

Plastic surgery.

That's his speciality, you see. Oh.

And that's not real medicine, is it?

That's making the real unreal.

Changing you from what you are into what you want to be.

I don't like coming here.

I don't like your coming here. If you were seen... Emergency measures, Prater.

Mullins hasn't come back.

That could be that his car broke down. Or it could be Steed.

It was Steed who sent Gambit to an empty base.

He's up to something.

It's time we had Steed on our side.

He's not ready.

You've been working on that one for weeks, haven't you? He's proving the

difficult of all.

The real feed is so mannered. Well, let's have a look at him.

Ideally, I want another month. Ideally, I want Steed replaced as soon as

possible.

He'll do.

Go and get dressed.

I'll drop him off personally.

You're lucky.

About to become the world's most eligible bachelor.

Oh, before I forget, John, I've got something of Mark's for you.

It was his great -grandfather's. Been in the family more than a hundred years.

You were the nearest thing to a brother he ever had.

Despite the fact that I coveted his wife.

I know he would have wanted you to have it.

Wendy, any time. If there's anything I can do, you just call. I know.

Thanks, John.

Hey, big spender.

No.

No. No.

Know what I mean?

Yeah? All's well. Good.

Dr. Prater.

I'm ever so sorry, but I might have to kill you.

Not me.

I'm ever so sorry.

Unless... I've heard about you fixing people up, right?

Fixing them so they look different.

Well, like I said, unless you help me, I'm going to blow your head off.

Right?

Of course, if you do decide to help, I'll pay.

So don't give me a hard time.

Watch it.

Steed.

John Steed.

Look, I understand you cutting me dead and walking straight past me as though

you didn't know me.

But I can't pretend I like it.

All right, I... I acted hastily.

But why should that change the fact that we're both working to the same end?

Why should it change anything at all?

Well, things change.

People change.

Don't they?

Don't stand the problem.

My boyfriend, well, he's more of an acquaintance, really.

He's accused of doing this bank job.

Unjustly accused, I must say.

And suddenly the proceeds of the robbery that my boyfriend, acquaintance...

He didn't do. He's found in my apartment and the law is looking for me, right?

So I thought it's best that they don't find me. Well, not for a while, anyway.

Not for, like, two million years, if I'm lucky. You know what I mean?

So then I heard of you.

You change faces, don't you?

Mm -hm.

So I thought if you could change my face so even my own mum doesn't recognise

me. You know what I mean?

But there's no need to change your face.

Your face is perfect.

Quite perfect.

Never had a woman before.

Look, we're talking about my problems.

Have you ever considered changing your persona?

You what? Your persona, your personality, your whole lifestyle.

Have you ever thought about becoming another?

Walton. I want you to meet Lolita.

Lolita, is it?

I can't help it.

My mum liked the film.

She said it reminded her of my dad.

And if you're thinking of calling me Lo, I'll smash your face in.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Lolita, this is Terry Walton. But from here on, you will know him as Gambit.

And her as Purdy.

And don't forget to shave every morning.

Now, mind you, there's quite a lot of work to do with Purdy.

Yes, I can see that.

Now, now, now, I want you to know each other well.

Very well.

I want there to be a rapport between you.

An intercourse.

He wants us to get to know each other very well.

A rapport.

Intercourse.

Not blooming lightly.

By George, he's got it.

No, no, no. Purdy wouldn't do that.

And what would you know about Purdy?

What would you know about Purdy? I've read all the details.

About her.

And me.

Gambit wouldn't do that.

Wouldn't he?

It says down here he would.

It says she feels very strongly about Gambit. Well, if he's anything like you,

she must be potty. What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to be a dead ringer for

the real Gambit. Looks may be, but Gambit, the real Gambit, he's got style

has. At least according to reports.

OK, so I'm no Gambit.

But you're no Purdy either.

She's a lady.

Who says I'm not a lady?

You do, every time you open your nice little mouth.

Stop that!

And how are we doing?

Oh, we were just discussing the merits of one another, wasn't we?

Excellent. But keep leaning on that grammar and that elocution. And, by the

your hair isn't quite right yet.

But most important of all, togetherness.

I want to feel that you two absolutely trust, respect and adore each other.

I'll belt up.

I wanted to give you one of Mark's most revered possessions.

And stupidly, I've given you the watch his party presented to him.

This is the one he would have wanted you to have.

Thank you.

I'll have to have the other one back, I'm afraid.

Well, the party are planning a memorial corner at headquarters.

Their watch is to be the centrepiece.

Oh. Well, I'll send it to you.

Send it?

I could just as soon take it now.

I don't think I can lay my hands on it at the minute. I seem to have mislaid

He's played it.

Mark's watch.

When you burst in here, you were prepared to use this.

Now I'm ordering you to.

You've made remarkable progress, Lisa.

And that's the last time you'll hear that name.

A short time from now, you will become Purdy.

But first, you must dispose of the real one.

You're nervous.

Rob. Ferdie.

Sorry.

And, uh... Please.

You really are nervous, aren't you?

Yes, I am.

I walk like her. I talk like her.

But would I fool the real Gambit?

And Steed?

I think you'll be surprised how easily Steed will accept you.

And as for Gambit, we've run him down to his apartment and our Gambit is on his

way to deal with him.

Gambit?

Gambit?

Hello, Purdy.

Or should I call you Lo?

You mean you're not the real Gambit?

I am now.

You mean you?

I did.

And judging by this little black book of telephone numbers I found on him, I

think I'm going to enjoy being gambled.

Well, it's your turn now.

A bit jittery, are you?

Not at all.

It's easy, really. Just point a gun and pull the trigger and fire the whole

clip, just to be sure. It's like taking stamina out of the living.

Your mother would have been proud of me.

I'll do some money, too.

how easily Steve will accept you.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

That's for Gambit.

Run him down to his apartment and our Gambit is on his way to deal with him.

You're the only one I can tell.

There are double agents.

Literally double agents.

Clifford was one of them.

It all begins with this Dr. Prater.

I faked my way into his organization and they think I'm not me. But I am me.

Gambit's dead.

Dead.

Steed. Thank God. I've been trying to reach you for ages.

I think Steed's a fake too.

That's why I came to you.

Quite the best thing you could have done, my dear.

Now, come and sit down.

What about Prater?

Deal with him later.

Now, the first thing is for you and me to confront Steed.

I can't believe it.

Steed. A fake.

A traitor.

Well, everything was going to plan, Steed. I got into the organisation and

didn't know I was the real Gambit. But then they moved too fast. They unleashed

Lolita. What?

Lolita. She's a dead ringer for Purdy, Steed. And she's on her way to

Purdy now.

I'll handle it. Get over here right away.

Purdy.

I'll just about get the bloodhounds out after you.

Craig.

Perfect. Quite perfect.

Prater trains them well.

But we don't have to pretend.

This is the real Purdy.

Fortunately, she came to me first.

Yes.

There was only ever one pair, dear.

But Craig, old fellow, I could have told you that.

You mean he isn't and you are? That's right.

Nice of you to come out in the open.

That was the whole basis of the operation, to find out who was behind

be you.

You're dead.

I ought to be.

Clifford saved me.

But Clifford's dead.

Yes, unfortunately.

But he bequeathed me his watch.

It's a bit dented, I'm afraid, but it stopped a .38 bullet at 20 paces.

Oh, your man is in the cellar, safely tucked away.

Prater trained him well, too. Same habits as me.

I'll bet he's halfway through my .61 Parrot.

I think you win the set, Steed, but I win the match.

Get it over with.

All right, go on, do it. The way you killed the real Gambit.

What?

And what would you care about Gambit? He was ten times a better man than you.

Only ten?

A thousand times better.

The report was right then. She did care about him. Care? Of course I cared.

If he was here now, I'd... Give him the big kiss?

Get on with it, man.

Finish him.

If you can't do it, give it to me.

Certainly.

You mean Gambit is... Gambit is... The whole time?

The whole time.

Lolita.

Or should I call you alone?

Why, you... Give him a big kiss.

Or I break it up. You have work to do.

Ah, my family, my puppets, my creations.

Oh, my... My pleasure.

You didn't fool me for an instant. I haven't forgotten about that big kiss. I

haven't forgotten about that little black book.

Irreplaceable.