Original subtitles

Stop! Thief!

Stop! Thief!

Stop! Thief! Stop! Thief!

Unless my security device is reset, I am timed to self -destruct in

15 seconds.

14.

My security device is now primed. I will give audible warning of any

unauthorized contact.

I am in a creative mood, Rhonda. Trundle me.

Top secret memorandum to Grandma.

Subject, the transmission of vital secrets, codes, currencies, plans, and

other thundery items used by the other side.

It is vital to both security and the nation that all agents should get their

priorities right.

We have found that these items are situated in an attaché case, which is

passed hand to hand by a chain of enemy agents.

Number unknown.

Destination of the case unknown. We have, however, located its first

point, which at this very moment of time is under the surveillance of Tara King

and Captain Andrews.

Good morning, Miss Bing.

I was all set.

Anything happen yet?

Not a lot.

Take a look.

Oh, what do you see? Just a man on a bike.

Nothing else?

Nope. Nothing else?

Good.

Considering I've got over 30 men staked out in the area, that's a considerable

achievement.

Who's the man on the bike?

He's the second link in the chain.

If my information is correct, somebody will be bringing him the case here soon

now. And then we'll jump on it. Oh, no, we won't.

No, no, we shall let the transfer take place, and then a specialized team will

follow the case through all its exchanges until it reaches its final

And that's the man we're after.

That's right.

A man at the top. Mr. B?

A mastermind.

The arch -villain.

Exactly.

You've got enough equipment here to launch a moonshot.

Anything approaching on the detector?

No.

Is that the man on the motorbike?

That's right.

Well, how are you going to follow him after he makes the pickup?

Cars parked in all the roads around here.

Two helicopters permanently in the air.

We shall stay closer to him than his own shadow, and he'll never even know it.

That's a definite contact.

All units, intruder approaching from the northwest.

Yes, sir.

He should be in sight by now. Report.

Nothing visible.

Area clear.

Nothing in sight. All clear. Nobody in the area.

I've a definite reading. Less than 300 yards out now.

Still nothing.

Nobody in the area. Section clear.

All clear.

Nothing visible.

Still coming. There must be him now.

Philipson, he's very near you now.

Absolutely nothing, sir.

Nothing in sight at all.

He's less than 100 yards out. You must see him now.

I'm sorry, sir.

There's nobody.

Well, what's happening, Andrews?

Who have you got out there, the invisible man?

He's still coming.

Fifty yards now.

Nobody could get as close as this without being seen. Somebody's doing it.

still coming.

He's on it, yeah.

It's a dog!

A dog?

It's a dog, look, it's a dog!

A dog? A dog?

A dog?

You see him?

Take him out! Stop him!

That's this here.

The lock has been designed to take a number of different keys. Each key will

turn the lock just a few degrees.

That looks like a tape recorder.

Yes, that's my guess.

Can't you break it open?

Up here, that's over here, that's an explosive charge.

Nothing too powerful, but enough to destroy the case if it's tampered with.

Now, behind all of this is a screen, and behind the screen is a compartment.

Well, what's in it?

I don't know as yet. We'll have to get a few more x -rays. Excuse me. Miss King,

he's conscious now.

Oh, thank you, Doctor. Can he talk? It'll have to be very quick.

Have you found anything?

No. Anything help with finding any contact?

No.

What about keys?

No, yes, there's some keys.

They don't fit.

Trent, can you hear me?

Where were you going to take the case?

Who's next in the chain?

Trent, who gives you your instructions?

The case.

It's all in the case.

I wonder why you took the jacket off in the airfield. I have no idea.

Love.

Love laughs at love, Smith.

Look, look at this one.

What do you think about it, Major?

Could be.

Could be.

Do you want a chance?

Well, we're going to lose.

the Cremorne Hotel in Sloane Street. A reservation has been made in the name of

Richard Strauss. Take me there at once.

I will issue further instructions in precisely one hour's time. That is all.

Morning, everybody.

Beautiful day.

I'd like you all to meet Mr. Strauss.

Mr. Richard Strauss.

Well, I don't imagine it figures prominently on the list of the world's

hotels. Oh, I don't know. It has a sort of faded gentility.

It's probably full of lovely old ladies in lavender lace who sit sipping tea and

remembering.

Remembering what?

Whatever old ladies remember.

Think I should come in with you?

No, they're expecting Richard Strauss. I better do it alone.

You'd better hurry because the hour's almost up.

Oh, yes. The little man in here is due to deliver his next message.

I'll be back.

Well, watch out for the old ladies.

Your contact will arrive within the next three hours.

Put me safely out of sight in the wardrobe and make yourself comfortable.

Thank you for your cooperation.

That is all.

You will take me to number 11 Heston Avenue at 8 o 'clock this evening. You

ask for Miss Graham.

That is all.

Number 11.

I'm not back in ten minutes. I'll come looking.

By the way, that was good work.

Getting this back.

and round and round and up and leaving.

And all the little fairies are getting tired, very tired and wrecked. And a few

moments of free expression.

All the pies fit us, aren't they?

Very. Your set piece now, fairies, from your tableau.

Very interesting tableau. What is it? Custer's Last Stand?

Williamsboro, as we'll call it.

Long, Audrey Long, miss.

Steve, John Steve, mister.

Beryl, now stop that!

All destined for the Bolshoi?

Gosh, no, you shouldn't think so.

They're pretty awful, but I teach them what I can. I see you include karate in

your curriculum.

Beryl!

All right, you little... There it is. On your feet and away for the day.

The sandman's coming.

Come along home, then. Off you go to your little... cages.

Sorry about that.

Excuse me.

I had to get that out of my system.

If I didn't do that at least once every day, I'd massacre them.

Oh, you haven't got a little monster.

I mean a dear, sweet child you wish to enroll.

Oh, no, no. Actually, I came to try and find a Miss Graham.

Miss Graham?

Oh, you mean Sally.

So she is here.

I'll fetch her for you, if you like.

Sally!

Visitor for you.

How do you do? I'm Sally Graham.

Oh.

Oh, er... I'm extremely pleased to meet you, Miss Graham. My name is Steve, John

Steve.

I see you've brought my case, Mr Steve.

Yes.

Thank you very much.

I've enjoyed meeting you. Good night, Mr. Steed.

Good night.

Now, all you little fairies, be quiet as you go out.

All on your tippy -toes. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. Well,

if you'll excuse me, Mr. Steed, I have to change. Jolly nice meeting you. Jolly

nice.

Ah,

Miss Graham.

Sally, where's the case?

What case, Mr. Steed?

Let me put it another way. How would you like 20 large lollipops like that one?

You trying to bribe me, Mr. Steed?

In a word, yes.

Oh, good.

Frankly, my susceptibility to bribes is one of my few failings.

Then we both know where we stand.

Good. Then let's talk money and not lollipops.

Tangerines? Twenty -five pounds? Twenty -five? You wouldn't want to take

advantage of me just because I'm a little girl, would you, Mr. Steve?

I see your point.

Now I've even got me that cave.

Here, Mr. Steve.

I wish you'd wait a minute longer, Auntie Audrey. A girl can do a lot with

twenty -five pounds.

Come on, darling.

Aren't we going to wait him with the men and put him in the river?

Not today, darling.

Aren't you even going to empty his wallet?

How do you feel? As though Nijinsky was dancing a pas brisee inside my head,

wearing hobnail boots.

You seem to have got everything under control.

Well, I've got the case.

Well, look at her handbag for the keys. You're wasting your time.

What? I know where it is.

You do?

Well, why don't you tell Uncle John and Auntie Tara, and then we'll give you a

lovely, lovely present. Don't waste time on little girl talk.

I think she'd want to be.

Gnomes of Zurich.

How much?

Same price.

£25 invested in Bluetooth equities. Sure high yield by the time I'm 21.

If you reach it.

Thank you. A key?

Yeah.

I am Queen of the Fairies. And when I wave my magic wand, all your wishes will

be granted.

Alakazam, kazam.

You will take me to the telephone box in Cranley High Street. You will stand in

the box at precisely nine o 'clock when I will issue further instructions.

That is all.

Alakazam, kazam.

Oh, Sally, just remember one thing. Money isn't everything.

Oh, Mr. Steed, don't shatter a little girl's illusions.

Audrey, time to get up. And don't feel too bad. I'll cut you in for 5%.

Ah, Colonel Stonehouse. Is it the social visit?

I'm afraid not.

But then neither is an official visit. Just one department head talking to

another. Off the record. Exactly.

May I be frank?

I admire it. I abhor hyperbole.

This man...

The man at the top, the one to whom we hope the case will lead us. Well, what

about him?

A number of people believe that he is a person of considerable trust.

A view I share myself.

Yes, a number of people also.

I hope you won't misunderstand, but a number of people think... That the man

the top is me.

Oh, yes, Colonel.

It's my job to acquaint myself with all rumours, however malicious or

unpleasant. Yes, I know that I am the number one suspect.

Needless to say, I do not subscribe to this theory.

Well, you should. You'd be a darn fool if you didn't.

This case has been running on now for 18 months. Four of my agents have been

killed. I'm in a position to lay false trails for them. Betray my own men.

Colonel, I think I make a very good number one suspect.

And you make a very good number two. Me?

Well, that's what they're saying.

This is outrageous.

How dare they? Me?

Once these rumors start, like this wine, they leave an aftertaste. The only way

to eradicate them is total success.

Our reputations depend on the real traitor being uncovered.

That's a burden I don't want Steve to know that he's carrying.

For the moment, all that matters is that he doesn't let that case out of his

sight for one second.

I've already passed the telephone box and identified you.

You will now go to a place of safety where the transfer can be made. Your

contact will follow you. That is all.

I like that.

I like your style.

It would make a pretty good team.

If this is what you came for, take it and get out.

There's no big rush.

Relax, sweetheart.

Look, you pour out some drink. Let's talk a little.

Some other time.

When?

I don't know.

I'll tell you what. I could come back later tonight.

The only thing I have to do is deliver the case.

Well, that might take hours.

Never has yet.

Well, where do you have to take it?

I shan't know until I've used my key.

Well, why don't you use it now, and if it's not too far away, I might even come

with you.

Not even for you, sweetheart.

Where I keep my key and where I go are strictly top secret.

I don't mind.

I'll tell you what.

You, uh... You put a little wine on ice.

You play a little soft music. You change into something tight.

And I'll be back before you know it.

I'll be here.

Don't lose him, Steed.

You will take me to room six in Colton House.

Before doing so, however, there is a matter of security to be taken care of.

You will kill your last contact.

Repeat. You will kill your last contact.

That didn't take long, did it?

I'm sorry about this, sweetheart.

I really am sorry.

What are you talking about?

I liked your style.

I really did like your style.

And why the past tense?

Turn around.

Now, listen.

I said turn around.

It's the eyes.

I don't like looking at the eyes when I do it.

You're not going to kill me, are you?

We could have had something rather good going for us.

Keep looking straight ahead.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

Believe me, I really am sorry.

You.

Hands above your head.

You. On your feet.

You. Woman.

Up. Right down.

You. Hands above your head.

Stop. You, woman.

Hands above your head.

Who are you? A deed.

Security.

We've been watching the woman for some time.

The picking you up is quite a bonus.

I'll mind you back.

Jump me.

Jump me.

Right up, young lady.

That should hold you.

Now, what have we got around here?

Try and get through with your free hand.

Where do I take it?

What? The case. I'll grab it and try and make a break for it, but I've got to

know where to take it.

I can't take it.

Now, listen, the only important thing is to get that case to its next contact.

I'm free now, quickly. There's not much time.

He's caught in the house.

Is that what you wanted to know, Mr. Steve?

You're a genius, Miss King.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Really sorry.

I was right about one thing.

She certainly has style.

Now, let me look at that.

Now at that one.

Just as I thought.

Something in that case has shifted position.

Yes, you're right.

Any idea what it is?

It's certainly not built in.

Well, then it's whatever it is that has to be delivered.

Yes, it's probable.

I'll send up some prints to forensic.

They might come up with something.

Let me know as soon as you hear.

Anything? Not yet.

I've been thinking.

You know, the chances of following that case through to its final destination

must be 99 to 1 against.

Well, I wouldn't put them that high.

However, I do anticipate difficulty.

Let's face it, Mother.

The whole purpose of the chain of couriers is to make it impossible to

It's a brilliant concept, and as far as I can see, quite infallible.

Well, it's worth a try.

I'm sure Steve and Tara are making progress. Then why haven't we heard from

them? Probably too busy. Can't get near the telephone.

Number six, Colton House.

Oh, come on, Steve, just because he's a karate expert, no reason to... I know

that man.

It's Tim, Captain Tim.

And he knows me.

Well, he won't know if his contact is supposed to be a man or a woman, will

That's a fair assumption, but... But?

You've just seen what he can do. Now, be careful.

Excuse me.

Keon!

This is a man's club.

That's nice.

You're not a man.

It's decent of you to have noticed.

That's my part of the job, Jan.

Where'd you get it?

You're not supposed to ask me that. And I'm not supposed to tell you.

I am asking.

Well, I'm not telling.

Let me put it this way.

My contact's name would be Cavell.

Oh, that's my name.

Clara Cavell.

You? Yes, I'm sorry I don't have any papers to prove it. I didn't think it'd

necessary. We can do better than this.

Really? You see, I know something else about my contact.

You do?

Heard a lot about Cavell.

Cavell is supposed to be the only person in the world who can beat me in a

fight.

Anyone who told me.

I'd never have believed it.

What? You.

That last blow.

What did you hit me with, an armbar?

You're good.

Very good.

A superlative evil.

And I'm Tara Cavell.

I'm convinced.

Good.

What's the matter?

My leg. I think it's broken.

Oh, you need anything?

That's it.

What? It means you'll have to do it. Do what?

Take the case on to the next contact.

Well, I can't possibly do that because it's against the rules. Yeah, but this

an emergency.

I mean, you don't expect me to hop there, do you?

Please, will you? For me?

Well, all right.

You wouldn't like to do me another favour, would you?

What's that?

Don't tell anybody you beat me.

It'll be our secret.

Well, you must admit, it was no trouble at all getting this key.

Take me to number 84 Patrick Street and leave me there at midnight precisely.

It's a wild guess that I'd say that our contact was a musician.

Brilliant. Try another deduction, a man or a woman.

Definitely.

Well, shall we wait or come back later?

Oh, no, the case was quite specific.

We have to hand it over at precisely midnight.

Well, we've got five minutes to go. We'll wait.

How many more do you think?

How many more what?

How many more contacts before we reach the man at the top? It's hard to tell,

but I think we're pretty close, but... Oh, that's beautiful.

It is?

Oh, I can't tell that at a glance.

That's made by a pupil of Stradivarius over the patina.

That mellow glow that's been achieved by hundreds of years of caressing.

That's the work of a master.

There's a label inside.

Probably the maker's signature.

Hmm. The East India Plywood and Timber Box Company.

Oh.

Someone come in quick.

How do you do?

Let me make my position clear.

I'm personally opposed to physical violence.

So to avoid unpleasantness, why don't you turn away the key?

This is no time for a clarinet solo.

A sharp, I imagine?

You should have just delivered the case and left.

Now I'll have to kill you. I was curious to know where you kept the key.

It's all in here, man.

All you have to do is play the right note.

epitaph for a musician.

He died flat.

What about the key?

He said that all you had to do was to play the right notes.

He was about to pick up one of these instruments before he went to the

The sonic key.

What?

You know the thing they fix in garages?

The doors open in response to the sound from a motorhome.

You mean the key is a note played on there? A note or a combination of notes.

I thought you could play the two.

Eh? You've got one in your apartment.

I'll just put flowers in.

I

didn't

know you could play the trumpet.

First time.

There's no use. There must be hundreds and thousands of combinations.

As far as I know, they're still searching for the last cord.

At precisely 8 a .m., you will deposit me outside the luggage loading bay at

King's Cross Station.

That is all.

We have to face it, Mother. It's evident that Steed has failed. I'll not concede

defeat until I'm defeated.

It was a slim chance by any standard.

Bill Desperandum's stone husband.

Chin up and all that sort of rot. We've identified the object in the case. Well,

half a million pounds in notes.

You know what this means, don't you? Could be the final payoff.

They won't use the system again if we don't pin down Mr. Big this time. Then

we'll never get him.

You will take me to St.

Bartholomew's Church.

Deposit me in the Cunningham family crypt.

That is all.

The Cunningham family crypt.

cooperation in bringing me here.

Unfortunately, in the interests of security, sacrifices have to be made.

I am a substitute case designed to mislead any pursuers.

To maintain security, it is necessary that you do not survive.

The crypt is hermetically sealed and I will shortly emit a poison gas.

To make your last minutes more comfortable, I contain a small gift.

Thank you and goodbye.

Unless my security device is reset, I am timed to self -destruct in ten seconds.

Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one, zero.

is a surprise.

It's dastardly to bring the case here.

Here. Well, they're obviously trying to cast suspicion on you.

It might have worked if I hadn't been involved.

Well, you're certainly no traitor.

As far as I'm concerned, despite your little foibles, you're above suspicion.

Thank you very much for saying so.

Foibles? The problem is... What foibles?

Now, how will Mr. Big collect that from here?

Well, let us see what might have happened.

Well, you might have been relieved from your assignment.

And the case given into the custody of one of our security people. That's it,

that's it. That's how he'll collect it. Now, someone will come here and... I

rushed over as soon as I heard the news.

So it's true, then.

Back to square one.

Well, at least it'll give me a chance to conduct a few more tests. Not just yet.

Why wait time? Not just yet.

Ah.

So that's the case.

Yes, but no sign of the man it was destined for. I've been thinking about

The money might be a chance of tracing it. That would give us one end of the

chain at least.

Possibly.

Perfectly.

But you're forgetting one thing. We can't open the case, not without

the contents.

Oh, nonsense. My bomb disposal boys have handled trickier things than this. I

think they at least ought to be given the opportunity.

My final collection is long overdue.

I must assume that I've fallen into the wrong hands.

I will self -destruct myself and my contents in 15 seconds.

14, 13.

12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,

and you followed it.

That rather surprised us.

We did you a disservice, old chap. We thought it was you.

All right, so it was me all along.

Doesn't matter now. There's enough here to enable me to disappear forever.

Goodbye, Steve.

Mother.

He's opened the wrong cave!

Sending him to you for his holidays.

Steed, I hope I'm not doing you an injustice, but I have a nasty, sneaky

suspicion you're going to try and get me to adopt Fang.

Well, hard luck.

I'm spending the weekend with my aged aunt in Cheltenham.

I'm sure you'll both get along well.

He's a teeny bit fussy with his food, likes venison, steak, ta -ta, and

port. But other than that, he's no trouble at all.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like Fang, but I wouldn't be able to give him the

exercise he needs.

The ten -mile romp morning and evening is all he wants.

Do you both good?

And anyway, there's nowhere for him to sleep.

You'll find he'll curl up anywhere.

Just toss an old mink jacket into a corner and he'll be happy.

Whatever you say, Steve, the answer's no.

No. No. I knew you'd understand.

Just one more thing.

He will insist on inviting all his friends around to stay.

It shouldn't happen to a dog.