Original subtitles

Comfortable, sir.

I shall need your name, rank and number, sir.

Roy Casper, Lieutenant, 22413791.

Thank you, sir.

And you're attached to military intelligence, aren't you, sir?

Aren't you, sir?

Roy Casper, Lieutenant, 22413791.

You're attached to military intelligence, aren't you, sir?

My name is Roy Casper.

Lieutenant, double two four one three seven nine one.

I'll ask you that question once again, sir.

You are attached to military intelligence.

All right, Sergeant.

We'll take over now.

Well now, feeling brave, Casper?

I beg your pardon, Lieutenant Casper, double two four one three seven nine

Thank you, Sergeant.

I don't doubt your bravery at all.

We get a lot of very brave men in here.

But they all talk, eventually.

You'll get nothing from me.

Nothing.

On the contrary, Lieutenant.

We shall get everything we want from you.

Everything.

Urgent business?

Very. Mother will tell you.

Mother?

Steve?

Casper. Roy Casper.

Military intelligence is a link man to some of our paid informers, isn't it?

What about his habits?

His habits?

As far as I know, he's clean.

He's missing.

Have a drink.

Thank you.

How long has he been missing?

He hasn't reported in for 48 hours.

What about his apartment?

Hello, Mother?

Yes? I've just checked over Casper's apartment, and I can't find anything out

the ordinary, except... Except?

Well, there doesn't seem to be a clean shirt in the place.

Clean shirt?

My dear girl, I didn't send you over there to look after his laundry.

No, no, Mother, you misunderstand.

I mean, I can't find a razor or a toothbrush either.

Yes, quite.

Well, stay there. I'll send the forensic mob right away.

Oh, right.

No sign of a shirt, razor or toothbrush.

Looks as though he packed and left of his own accord.

Exactly my deduction.

But it still doesn't tell us where Casper is.

Casper.

Roy Casper.

Lieutenant.

Double two four one.

Three seven nine one.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Sleep.

Please. I must sleep.

Sleep?

Of course you may sleep.

A warm bed and soft, soft pillows.

But not yet.

We know that you run a string of informers.

People that you pay for scraps of information.

Roy Casper.

The names of those men are known only to a select few.

3791. I want those names.

And I want them now.

413791.

Roy Casper.

Lieutenant 2241791.

We know that one of them is an archer.

You will tell me his name. One, three, seven. His name.

Who is it?

Sergeant Rasker is up.

Come in.

Ah, tea.

Splendid. What an excellent idea of yours, Rasker.

I'm sure we could all do with a spot of this, couldn't we?

So's the work.

Oh, forgive me, Lieutenant.

Would you care for a cup of tea? Oh, thank you, sir.

Milk and sugar?

No sugar.

No sugar.

There we are.

Thank you.

Of course, you mustn't forget where we were when we left off, must we?

Don't worry.

You were asking me about my contact.

Yes, I was, wasn't I?

A chap who was a keen archer.

Casper's talked.

Hey.

Sold out. Smelt the beans.

I don't believe it. Either that or he's been grabbed and made to talk. I still

don't believe it. Confound it, Steed. One of his undercover informers was

uncovered and killed.

Who else?

What?

Who else is Casper likely to betray?

He had one other undercover informer, but that's most secret. Utterly

restricted. Well, hardly now, now that he's talked.

You're right. He must be warned. What's his name?

Izzy Pound and his incredible marching sound.

That means an impact.

Unless Tara can come up with something.

What about this?

Hand -rolled, custom -made, mixture of Virginian and Turkish with a

preponderance of oriental herbs, smoked by a right -handed male of medium build.

Of course, that's only the nature of a wild guess at this stage. I need to get

back to the laboratory to confirm my findings.

A preponderance of oriental herbs, you said?

Ah, of that, I am sure.

Well, that could mean our friend Casper is in the wrong hands.

We'll need more than one cigarette stub to tell us that, Miss King.

So far, we haven't turned up even the tiniest clue as to Casper's whereabouts.

He could be anywhere.

Almost anywhere.

I'll try a martini.

I'm not too dry.

Lots of ice.

And no olive.

Aren't you coming along, Miss King?

Oh, no, I think I'll stay.

Just make sure you fellas didn't miss anything.

Right, Casper, we'll go through all this again.

I've told you a dozen times.

I wasn't on any particular assignment.

I took a few days off, took my car, and toured around.

Where? We want names and places. Now, where'd you go? The South Coast. Where

the South Coast?

Everywhere, anywhere.

Where? Played in pubs most of the time. Names and places. I can't remember.

Casper, we want to help you.

I toured around, that's all.

Toured around.

And how about this? That's a bruise, a nasty bruise.

I fell down.

Where, names and places?

I can't remember.

Casper trained with Minnow.

Charles Minnow.

They were very close friends.

Do you think he'll help us break him? Worth a try?

Charles Minnow. Tell Tara King to bring him in.

Hermino? Yes?

It's Tar King here. I want to see you right away.

I'm afraid you've caught me with my pants down, as it were.

I've just got out of the bath.

Can you give me a few moments?

Yes, I'll wait.

I'll be as quick as I can.

Right.

Look back way out of the Hermino.

The service entrance, yes.

Lead the way, then.

Just a minute.

What is it?

Almost ran without my toothbrush.

So, Casper, you decided to take a few days off. Yes.

You drove away on your own?

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, for pity's sake. Can't you see I'm tired? Tired of questions.

Always questions. The past few days I've had enough of.

It's the past few days we're interested in.

Look, what's this all about anyway?

I have a right to know that, haven't I? A right? I suppose you have.

Rhonda.

A trick.

Feel his pulse.

Feel it!

But nobody knew about him.

Nobody except me and you, Caspar.

But you don't think I... You can't think... You were missing for three

Where were you?

I can't tell you.

Can't? Has somebody got some hold over you, is that it?

Is a friend or relative being held as a hostage?

I know nothing like that.

I can't tell you.

Not yet.

You must give me time to think.

We'll give you time.

Come see us tomorrow.

Sleep on it, and we'll talk about it then.

Tomorrow? Day after tomorrow, if you want.

Goodbye, Caspar.

Give him a few seconds.

Then follow him.

See where he goes.

Who he contacts.

Hello, Mother. It's Tara.

Listen, I'm at Minnow's place and I don't like it.

No, Mother, it's got nothing to do with the colour of the walls. I mean, I don't

like the situation.

Minnow's gone.

And so did Toothbrush.

Which do you think is worse, Minot?

The sound?

Or not knowing when it will begin again?

You become your own torturer, really.

When, your brain keeps asking.

When will it start again?

You steel yourself against the moment. You tense every nerve.

But the sound doesn't come.

Then suddenly...

I'm

afraid that Captain Sue doesn't altogether approve of these modern

He is inclined to favor the older, more physical approach.

Of course, I can't very well condemn him out of hand, can I, without giving him

a chance to prove his point further.

Excuse me, sir.

Yes? Can I have a word?

Casper's pigeon, sir.

When did it arrive?

In just this minute.

Then you'd better get over there right away, hadn't you, Sergeant?

You know what to do.

Right.

Thank goodness you've called, sir.

It's all gone wrong. The suspects have been murdered and I've been held and

interrogated. Now, hold on a moment. They think it was me.

I've been questioned for hours. I didn't know how much to tell them. Calm down.

Calm down, Lieutenant Casper.

That's an order.

I'm sorry, sir.

All right.

Now, let's have the facts.

You were picked up as soon as I returned, sir.

They questioned me for hours.

They didn't get anything out of you?

Not a thing, sir.

Nothing, sir.

You didn't mention this organisation, did you, Caspar?

No, sir.

What time is it?

It's just after eight o 'clock.

Blackie ought to be there by now.

Caspar? Yes, sir?

You've done an excellent job.

You have nothing to worry about, do you understand?

But what about Izzy Pound, sir?

He's dead and they suspect... You have nothing to worry about.

Yes, sir.

I'll get in touch with the proper authorities right away.

You'll be...

Yes,

sir.

Custom -made, a mixture of Virginian and Turkish with a preponderance of

oriental herbs.

What do you think?

I think you'd better watch your step.

Any man who smokes such a revolting mixture must be evil incarnate.

No, Mother, you don't understand.

I mean, it's the same pattern as before. Whoever grabbed Caspar has now grabbed

Minna. We don't know for certain that Caspar was grabbed.

But just the same.

Yes, you're right.

We'd better assume the worst.

Minot will talk.

And betray his contacts.

Minot.

Minot.

No time for sleeping, Minot.

We have many things to tell us.

Many things we wish to know.

How did you get on with Caspar?

Dead end.

Couldn't be deader.

Looks like suicide.

Looks like.

Looks like.

Minnow's missing.

Tara's gone to warn Fillington. Minnow's number one contact.

Might be a repeat performance. Let's hope it's not a repeat performance.

Let's hope that Fillington is alive and kicking.

Is dead.

Dead? That confirms it, doesn't it? Minnow's talked.

All right. Let all systems go now.

I'm ready. Just give me the name of Minnow's second contact.

Your second contact, Minnow. The name of your second contact.

Give me his name.

I say, sir, escape attempts are in order, I suppose.

Certainly. Oh, jolly good.

I wouldn't want to break the rules.

No, of course not.

I say, you've hurt your hand.

Oh, it's nothing.

All the same, I should get something put on that if I were you.

Jolly good punch, sir.

A right cross.

I think you've done a bit in the ring in your time, sir.

Box for the battalion.

Then you'd know not a right.

On the same team together.

Gosh, a splendid chap, Nosher. One of the best. Salt of the earth.

It's the name, Minnow.

The name.

Mr. Puffin!

Mr. Puffin!

Yes? Yes?

Mr. Puffin, you're in great danger.

Danger? Yes. A poor, gentle old...

Silly balloon seller like me. How could I possibly?

Mother sent me.

Come inside.

What's the problem?

Minnow. Minnow.

Thanks for warning me.

I'd better pack up.

Down!

I'm afraid he's got us pinned down.

You all right?

Fine.

Do you know him? No.

What do you think?

I don't know him. Nor do I.

Minnow's our last link now, if we can find Minnow.

Someone looking for me?

I was just on my way home, actually, but I thought I'd better pop in just to see

whether anything urgent had cropped up.

Well...

Well, how are things in the jolly old world of intrigue, eh?

Have a drink, Minot.

Jolly decent of you.

Been away, then?

Well, just... Took a little impromptu holiday, what?

Yes, as a matter of fact. Touring around, nowhere particular.

Exactly that.

We've been trying to get hold of you.

Have you now?

Well... Can't be in two places at once.

Eh, Mother?

Have you seen Fillington recently?

Not recently, no.

Can't pass him. Not for a couple of weeks.

How about him?

You recognize him?

Recognize him? Of course not.

Don't play with me, Minnow.

You're neither experienced nor clever enough to control your eyes. There was a

glimmer of recognition.

I want to know the name of this dead man.

Dead?

It's no go.

They told me about that, said you might try to trip me up. They?

The photo's a jolly good fake, though.

Fillington's death was no fake.

We can take you back to the morgue and you can see for yourself.

It'd be a waste of time and we haven't the time to waste.

Fillington, he... Because you taught me now.

Now, you tell me why and where and to whom.

What shall I do?

Tell us all you know, Minna.

Hadn't I better contact Mannering first?

I think the rules are quite Mannering.

Colonel Mannering.

Mother, tell him about Colonel Mannering.

Who was Colonel Mannering?

You might know.

Who was your idea?

Surely you know who Colonel... I think...

If you don't mind, I'd like to sit down.

If you don't mind, perhaps you'd start from the beginning. How did you meet

Colonel Manoring?

He came to my apartment.

There were two of them.

Manoring and Sue.

Miss King?

Yes? I'm Manoring, Interdepartmental Security.

This is Captain Sue, Oriental Military Studies.

Our identification.

Thank you.

Quite right, Miss King. We can't be too careful these days, can we?

Thank you, Colonel Manoring. I just wanted to make sure exactly who you are.

Won't you come in, please?

Thank you.

Would you gentlemen sit down?

Would you be good enough to show us your identification?

Certainly.

You're quite right, Colonel.

We really can't be too careful about these things.

You watch others, Miss King. We watch you.

Big brother.

Well, we had hoped that our interest would be slightly more perturbed.

Would you care for a drink?

No, thank you. We discourage drinking on duty amongst our operatives.

Pity, good brandy.

Oh, won't you gentlemen please sit down?

Thank you, I will.

I'll come straight to the point, Miss King.

We've been sent here to escort you to Centre 53 to attend POHE course

A7.

Perhaps you'd care to examine these documents too.

I would, as a matter of fact.

Of course.

You will see that the course is covered by secret security sealed instruction

47, subsection QR 4932.

But these instructions say the course is to begin immediately.

As of this moment, yes.

Well, I have just spent the last 24 hours without a break on another

and I am very, very... Very tired?

Yes. But of course you are, Miss King. But that is the whole point of the

course, that you should be tired, that your powers of endurance should be taxed

to the limit.

But you don't understand.

The assignment I'm on, I haven't finished it yet.

Oh, but you have.

Haven't you been told? You've been taken off it.

By whose orders?

Well, higher authority, Miss King.

Of course, you're perfectly entitled to appeal against this decision.

Perhaps you'd like to call Mother.

Perhaps you'd do it for me.

You've already committed a cardinal error, Miss King.

By admitting to me the fact of Mother's existence, that will be ten demerit

points.

Bad start.

Hello, Mother.

Mannering here, sir.

Yes, very well indeed, thank you. Very well.

Bridge.

Yes, we'd like to very much. I'll have a word with my wife about it.

Sir, I'm at Miss King's place at the moment.

Yes. Yes, I have told her about the POHC course.

Well, she does seem to be a little bit reluctant.

Can't really blame her, I suppose. It's quite understandable.

You will?

Well, that would be a great help, sir. I'd be very grateful if you'd have a

with her.

I selected you for this course, and I would be obliged if you would obey my

orders. Colonel Mannering is my representative, and his instructions are

instructions. Just get on with your job and do as you're told. But, Mother!

Without questions or delays.

That's all.

Yes, Mother.

What is a T -O -H -E course, anyway?

A test of human endurance.

They must have impersonated my voice.

Caricatured it.

A test of human endurance.

Yes, that's what he said. Get me a telescope.

What do you say the name of that course was?

T -O -H -E, course A7.

Now, you were taken to Centre 5 -3.

Yes, that's right.

Where is it?

It's in the country. It's a large house.

Yes, but where?

I don't know.

It's part of a security arrangement that I shouldn't know.

I was taken there in a closed van.

Here we are.

Sergeant Basker.

Good afternoon, miss.

Hello. I'd like your identification, please.

Yes.

You'd like to sign...

I didn't know you were coming here.

My lord.

Don't you remember, poor my lord, we were in training together.

Oh, of course. Come here. Let's see.

Look. We'll have a drink in the bar later on. Yes.

That'll be fine. I'll look forward to that. Okay.

The key to your room, Miss King.

Hope you enjoy your day with it.

Thank you.

Well, that's that.

This way.

have a drink together before we start.

I know you're going to enjoy it here, Mr. King, once you get used to it, of

course.

Splendid bunch we've got here. Fine and splendid. And, of

course, we do try to make their stay as pleasant as possible.

Plenty of recreation, too, sport and all that sort of thing. I'm a great

believer in physical well -being.

Afternoon, Johnson.

A minute, sir.

I introduce you to Miss Tara King.

Oh, hello, Miss King. What would you like to drink?

A brandy.

Two brandy.

Please. This bar is absolutely sacrosanct. It's the one place in the

building where you can relax completely, where you can switch off, as it were.

But let me remind you that the course has already begun, and you can be taken

away and interrogated at any time.

Any time at all.

Course A7. Course to test your breaking point, your reliability as an agent.

Yes, what he said, yes.

Yes.

Course A7 under the direction of Colonel Mannering.

But that's it, sir.

It doesn't exist.

The name, Mullard, the name.

You have a contract in Hong Kong.

Yes, Mullard, yes, and I want the name, the name, the name.

Kevin Sue.

Jolly good show.

Absolutely first class.

You mean that, Caesar?

We haven't been able to break you, have we?

Matter of fact, I never really thought we would.

It's really over.

It's really over.

Congratulations, Mellon. You've passed the test. Class one.

Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, I think this calls for celebration.

Come along.

Oh, yes.

Oh, um... Thank you.

It's clever. You must admit it's clever.

Turn our own secret bureaucracy into a weapon.

Tied us up with our own red tape, it's very simple.

Persuade our agents that the course is genuine, get their full cooperation, and

interrogate them for as long as they like. Until they talk.

But that isn't true.

I got a class one pass.

They interrogated me for hours. but I didn't talk.

I didn't tell them a darn thing.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Well done, sir.

You manage another one?

Oh, just a moment, thanks.

You weren't kidding me, sir. I really got a class one pass.

Didn't take my word for it.

Mind you, it was touch and go at one point.

Do you mind telling me why, sir?

I suppose it matters now, now that it's all over. It was when we were

questioning you about your contact in Hong Kong, you remember? We thought we

you a couple of times, but you held out. You kept denying that he ever existed.

Mind you, the fact that you don't have a contact in Hong Kong certainly helped.

Yes, I do, sir.

You do?

Yes, great, sir.

Well...

Extraordinary. Rarely had us fooled.

Let's call for another drink. A short one this time, don't worry.

Ratko, two whiskeys, please.

Let's do that.

You covered the thing brilliantly.

Good contact, by the way.

Anybody we know.

No, no, I doubt it. His name's Lord Criddle.

Lord Criddle?

What's your new name?

Well, it's the chap I'm thinking of, yes. Well, he's a tall chap, glassy,

moustache.

Tall, glassy, fair moustache. Yes, that's the fun.

Nice to get in touch with him again after all this time.

Where do you normally reach him?

Well, I usually get in touch with him at the Foo Young Cafe.

The Foo Young Cafe.

Thank you, Raskin.

Here's to George Criddle, then.

Yes, that's how it must have happened.

In the bar.

The one place where we were allowed to relax, to lower our defenses.

I'm jolly sorry, Mother.

Sorrow is a negative after the event emotion, Minnow. What we want now is

positive thinking.

Attack!

What do you suggest?

Well, I... I, um... Yes, Norton?

What is it, Norton?

I've just come from Miss King's apartment, sir. I called in to give her

findings on the Castro -Minnow cases.

Which were?

Negative, sir.

Only forensics would make a special trip to say that they hadn't found anything.

Well, what's the point?

The point is that Miss King is not in her apartment, sir.

And whilst I was browsing around, I found this.

And her toothbrush?

That's gone, too.

Now, suppose we start with everything that you know about John Steed.

Oh, well, that could take some time.

Later, later. You can deal with her later.

They've taken Tara King. Now, don't you understand that she is different from

you and Casper? She's a woman.

She's also sharper, brighter, and more intelligent.

Now, they may fool her for a while. Their plan is clever enough to fool

for a while.

But after a time, she'll understand what's going on, and then... Just a

When we showed you this, you thought we were trying to trick you. Now, why?

Oh, that was in the briefing.

Manoring said there'd be other tests. The course didn't end when I left the

centre. There'd be unexpected ones, too.

So that you wouldn't reveal what went on at the course, are you certain?

Yes.

Suppose everything went wrong and you found yourself on trial for treason.

Aha, well, in that case, I'd simply contact Manoring and... The pigeon.

Any trouble, and I'm to release it, and Manoring will contact me within the

hour. Within the hour.

Can't be too far away, then.

As the crow flies.

Emergency, sir.

Minnow's pigeon, sir.

And Steed's right behind it. Steed?

I just caught a glimpse of him in the grounds.

You keep an eye on the girl.

They'll cover the rear entrance to the bar.

That's all very well, sir, but this is a big house.

There are at least a dozen other ways into it. And there'll be an armed man on

every one.

You open the armory, all the guns you can find.

I'll send for the trainee.

Right.

All in good time, gentlemen. All in good time. Since

we're all here, I will tell you.

We all here now? Good, good.

Now, this isn't the nature of a surprise test.

We've arranged for an intruder to penetrate the area.

It will be your job to deploy and find him.

You will each of you be armed with a pistol, loaded, I mean, hardly say, with

blanks. When you find the intruder, you will shoot to kill.

And there will be ten merit points for the lucky man. Any questions?

Yes, sir. Who's playing intruder?

An old friend of ours. Some of you may even know him. You certainly can't fail

to recognise him.

Older hat, impeccable dress.

Named Steed.

John Steed.

Steed. No?

Well, off you go then, chaps. And don't forget, ten points for the lucky man who

kills him.

Look away, chaps.

Oh,

well,

I say, aren't we supposed to shoot him? Well, I saw him, sir. No, I didn't. Hang

on, hang on. There are ten of us. Why don't we all shoot at once? Then we can

claim a point each.

Yes.

No! No!

Those guns are loaded.

Naturally. I mean, with real bullets.

Oh, come now, dear lady. I mean, no, you must be anxious for those ten points

and all that.

No, we've been duped, mattering this whole course. It's all a trick.

It's a fake. Everything.

She's right, you know.

Jolly good deed.

Excellent. Test their gun ability, eh?

Trick them.

See how they would react to the persuasive tongue of an enemy.

Manor rings the enemy. I'm telling you the truth.

Is she?

Don't forget there are ten merit points at stake, gentlemen.

Yes, but she sounds sincere.

Well, of course she does.

What kind of a test would it be if she didn't?

The guns are loaded.

Convincing, Miss King, but not convincing enough, eh, gentlemen?

You will carry out your orders, but this time you will shoot them both.

Might I make a suggestion to see who's really bluffing? Why don't you, my lad,

point your gun at the colonel and pull the trigger?

Why not?

Now, when I count three, you fire.

One.

Well, gentlemen, what we need is a drink.

And I think we will have it on the house.

I must have an answer.

I won't tell you. I insist.

So do I.

Very well. I'll give you until six o 'clock.

Why six o 'clock?

It's as good a time as any other.

Well, I prefer...

Eleven o 'clock. I must have the feet. You'll only tell everyone.

Promise.

You're a hard man, Steve. Oh, yes, I'm a hard man. I'm a monster.

Well, do you promise to promise? I promise not to give away your secret

All right, then.

It's yogurt.

Just yogurt?

Just a tablespoonful.