Original subtitles

When?

Not long. I mean exactly when.

12th. We kill John Steed at 12 noon.

12 noon.

Do you know, Rhonda, I absolutely abhor noise.

What I like about you is your complete noiselessness, a rare quality in a

No, no, no. Don't spoil it. Don't say anything.

Put the silencers on and reduce them to a muffled buzz.

Yes, what?

Steve?

Do I sound like Steve?

No. You sound touchy and irritable.

Mother! Yes.

Mother, Miss King.

What are you doing at Steve's pub?

Occupying it.

Listen, is Steve having a party or something?

I can soon get over there and join in.

No.

I am just borrowing Steve's apartment whilst my own chambers are being

redecorated.

Isn't it the genius bit crowded there?

I'll say it is.

No, no, no, no. Steve's not here. He went to Department F.

Department F?

Is he badly hurt? Oh, how is he?

As well as can be expected.

I'm not going to see him. Can that be arranged?

I suppose so.

You know the drill.

We'd better synchronize our watches.

9 .47 and 35 seconds.

Right. You can go in at 10 .30 precisely.

Right. And when I say precisely, I mean precisely.

One half second the wrong way and you'll be dead, Miss King.

Quite dead.

A breakout?

Any idea who's on the loose?

Oh, well. Check up and let me know immediately.

Department of Security.

Mother here.

Entry countdown starting now.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Zero.

Just testing.

Over there.

Tara! Oh, Steve!

How nice to see you. You found your way out here, then? Yes, just about. The

approach is the tiniest bit unconventional.

It's charming countryside, though, don't you think?

Now, pull up a chair, tell me all about the outside world.

No, first things first.

I've bought you some grapes.

Grapes?

I hope it's not against the rules.

Absolutely forbidden.

But the glasses are over there.

Supposed to be an extra special vintage.

Every grape hand from...

Nice shooting.

Who's he?

Hmm? The watchdog.

Or as child coroner, he's in charge of security.

Nice check.

Takes his job very seriously, doesn't he? He has to.

I can't say I envy him. After all, what's more vulnerable than a wounded

Two wounded agents.

Exactly.

And at any given time, he has a bevy of them here to look after.

That can't be right. This is the most... Secret nursing home in the country. And

what's more, I'm going to tell you... I'm a bevy, a bevy of secret agents.

can't be right.

You know, I don't think there is a collective noun for us.

How about a lurking of secret agents?

A skulking?

A contentment?

Agents aren't particularly contented.

This one is.

Would you like me to prescribe something for those nerves?

Sorry, Doctor.

Really, Cornwall.

We ring round with minefields and electrified fences, and I don't see how

I had to switch the defences off to let a visitor in. Always leaves me feeling a

bit junked.

Two minutes slow.

And that is willow herb. A weed.

Morning, Steve. Good morning, Doctor. May I introduce Miss Tara King? This is

Dr. Hyde. How do you do?

Oh, Cornwall told me we had a visitor. He didn't tell me it was a girl and a

charming one at that. He probably regarded it as restricted information.

Tell me, Doctor, how is he?

Do you intend to dine with him the moment he's up and about?

Yes.

Then I predict a quite remarkable recovery.

Excuse me.

Oh, by the way, Steve.

Save me a drop of that champagne.

and told me how it happened. Eh?

Your leg.

Happened when I was crossing the wall.

Berlin? Garden.

It's not as unromantic as it sounds. I was chasing someone for time.

Crossed five gardens.

Who were you chasing?

A suspected saboteur.

A ruthless type?

Utterly.

Trampled right across a bed of Queen Mary roses.

Whoops. Sorry, Dr. Carson.

Good morning.

Morning.

You haven't seen Rodney, have you? I haven't seen him all morning.

Oh, well, time for his injection, if you do happen to see him. I'll be happy to

tell him.

Thanks.

So,

you went over the wall?

Ah, yes.

I swung myself to the top.

And that's when he shot you?

I shot him.

A rather pretty snapshot at 80 yards.

And then? I moved in for the coup, swung myself to the ground, straight onto

a... A booby trap.

A cucumber crane. It was very nasty.

It's Angela's birthday on Saturday.

Angela? Who's Angela? My niece.

She's nine years old on Saturday.

It wouldn't do to forget her birthday.

I can't think what to buy her, though.

What's that got to do with killing Steve?

Why, nothing. Whoever said that it had.

I wonder if she's too old for a doll's house.

I went and picked up your letters at your apartment.

Oh, thank you very much.

Good morning.

Hello.

Sir Rodney Carson was looking for you with hypodermic poise.

I should be in my room.

Sir Rodney Woodham Baines.

I thought he was a diplomat. He is a diplomat.

Well, how did he get... Someone threw a bomb.

During the peace talks.

Now, there's a pity.

I've been sent a ticket for the opera during the 19th.

That's today, isn't it?

And I won't be going.

Hey, perhaps you can make use of it.

I don't think either of us will be making use of it. This ticket's for June

19th, seven years ago.

Well, I've heard of things being lost in the post, but that's ridiculous.

Crazy. Or someone's playing a joke. If they are, I don't get the punchline.

Maybe it comes later. Seven years later.

June the 19th.

Remember something?

June the 19th, seven years ago.

Seven years ago to the day.

Almost the hour.

A bullet's very accurate.

But noisy.

Hello?

Hello?

That is a doornail. Probably just a temporary fault. Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

You know, I've always felt there was something lacking around here, and now I

know just what.

Oh, come on, Steve. Don't keep it all to yourself.

Introduce me. Roger Lyle, Tyler King.

Definitely a pleasure.

Would you mind taking her to Cornwall's office?

Would I mind?

There's a radio transmitter there for emergencies.

Cornwall? Huh? Nobody home. Can I have a look at the transmitter?

Over here.

I wonder who did this.

I think we'd better find Giles Cornwall.

He was probably around here a little while ago.

I'll look up there. Well, it'll make a change.

Having a bit of excitement around here.

Cornball didn't come in here, did he? No.

Why do you want him?

Someone has smashed his transmitter.

Cornball!

You will go no further.

I'll go wherever I like.

Very well.

But beyond the markers, the minefield begins.

Oh, I see. I'm sorry. Thank you.

I was just looking for Giles Cornwall. Have you seen him?

What are you doing out here, anyway?

Enjoying a rare commodity.

Solitude, mademoiselle.

Solitude.

Have you seen Dr. Hyde?

Not recently, but it must be somewhere about.

Anything I can do? Well, Cornwall can't have the only key to the defense

mechanism. Hyde must have a spare one hidden away somewhere.

This is important.

Well, I just did this in Medicare, but... All right, I'll ask him.

With a boy, it's easy.

Just lay down a hog's head of good claret, and by the time he's old enough

enjoy it, the wine's at its most drinkable.

But a girl... I wonder if she's too old for a teddy bear.

What time is it?

Well?

Not yet.

It's a pleasure working with a colleague who has such a versatile fella.

Fairly warms the cockles of your heart.

Jolly good fellow, Steed. An absolute paragon of... I wonder if he buys

it all on expenses.

Mother here.

Kafka's escaped.

Well, of course I know who he'll be gunning for. Thede.

It's a good thing he happens to be in the only place where no one can get at

him.

I think it's time you told me what this is all about. Cornwall's dead.

Very. And the key to the defensive?

Gone. So is his gun.

Gerard Casca.

Mean anything to you?

You told me about him, didn't you? He was head of Murder International, and

grabbed him a few years ago.

Seven years ago.

Today.

June the 19th.

At 12 noon.

But he has life in prison.

I think this means he's out.

And coming here.

Why?

To kill me.

Just you?

At a guess, yes.

A guess? An educated guess.

I don't think you've anything to fear now.

Fear?

Who said anything about fear? If there's any kind of a rumpus, I want to be in

on it.

Listen, this is mad.

Absolutely nothing's going to happen because the defense system... The

system...

The

system's activated and locked. No one can possibly get in.

And who has the key?

And who killed Cornwall?

Kafka?

No.

If he were here, we'd know.

Kafka's not the type of man to hang about.

No, he's not here yet.

But someone is.

Someone working for Kafka.

Someone who has the only gun in the area and the key to the defense. He's only

got to unlock them and let Kafka in any time he wants.

Meanwhile, we can't get out.

We're stuck here. I thought I made that clear. It's me he's after.

Oh, and what about Cornwall?

And whose neck?

Whose neck?

Behind

the

barn!

Liar!

It's not my fight.

No key.

Never get key.

My dear fellow, why don't you sit down?

Bad for the nerves, you pacing up and down all the time.

Stomach all knotted up, is it?

My goodness, you do get edgy, don't you?

You don't, I suppose.

I did.

First dozen or so times.

But it's just a job of work.

Sometimes a little messy, I'll agree.

But not too arduous.

And remarkably well paid.

What do you think of a musical box?

For Angela.

It would amuse her now and later when she's grown up it would be something to

cherish.

If she didn't break it.

That's the trouble with children nowadays.

So destructive.

on and working perfectly.

We don't have a thing to worry about.

Carson? He's dead.

Oh. And before he died, he threw away the key?

Why?

Why? Well... Carson didn't take the key to let Kafka in.

He took it to stop us getting out. Now, that can only mean one thing.

Kafka's got another way of getting in.

Well, we've still got the gun and all the order on our side.

Yeah, but he won't come alone. He'll be accompanied.

There'll be experts, top professionals.

Well, what about the men here? They're experts, top professionals.

And they're all wounded, below par.

We'll improvise. We'll use our expertise where it counts most.

I'll go and organise it. Tara, I wouldn't count on too much. Now, where's

Oh, he had an attack of nerves, temporarily.

Nerves?

That's why he's here.

Well, he'll rally round when the time comes. They all will.

You're rather valuable property.

The time has come.

Enter.

Mademoiselle. Right here.

It's about Steve.

I presume you know what's been happening here?

I have a fair idea, yes.

Then you know why I've come to you.

I am an agent of my government, not yours, mademoiselle.

It has cost a great deal of money to train and develop me into a weapon vital

the defense of my country.

Well, I appreciate that. I have assessed this situation very carefully. So you

will have. And logically.

Now, if I assist Steve, the chances are that I too will be killed.

My death will in no way benefit my country.

Therefore, there is no justification for putting my life at risk.

No justification?

Not that I can see.

Oh, I suppose it doesn't matter that Thede might get killed.

Oh, personally, it matters very much.

I have a great admiration for him.

Professionally.

C 'est la vie.

Correct. C 'est la guerre.

As you wish.

It is not my war.

Bon, merci, monsieur.

For your gallantry.

Ah, Miss King.

Welcome in.

Do come in.

Do come in.

I hope I may offer you a drink.

No, thank you, Sir Rodney. I'd rather get straight to the point. I need your

help. Of course, my dear.

I don't mean delighted, but sit down.

Sit down.

So, the damsel's in distress.

Steve's in trouble.

Steve? Yes, he needs your help. I know you won't refuse, Sir Rodney. Naturally

not. Particularly if it pleases you.

Helps us to get to know one another better.

Then you will help?

Of course, my dear.

Now, what's indeed been up to? Some indiscretion you want me to put in a

word at the ministry?

Listen,

don't you know what's been going on here?

You will have that drink, won't you?

Didn't you hear the shots?

When I'm listening to my music, I hardly ever... Shots?

Yes, Cas and Cornwall Hyde, they're dead.

What do you mean?

I mean exactly what I say. They're all dead and Steed's in great danger because

Casca's coming. Casca?

Gerard Casca?

You know him?

He's coming here to kill Steed.

Now, if we don't help him, he won't stand a chance.

Anyway, now there are two of us.

Miss King, it may be difficult for you to understand.

But my political platform has always been one of non -violence, appeasement.

My image is that of a dove.

You see, my predicament, I want to help. Indeed, I would like to help. But to

involve myself with violence, the dove turned into the hawk, my followers would

lose faith.

But be assured, should harm aforesteed, I shall speak out loud in the halls of

fame, cry out against the senseless destruction of...

I'm sure Steve will appreciate that.

Mr. Lyle.

Mr. Lyle!

Can I help?

Over here.

Edward suddenly got nothing to do.

He stopped.

And I've heard enough to know you need help.

I... I don't know as much I can do.

But if you push me nearer the window, I might be able to see something to

warn you.

Okay. I don't... Here we go.

What's the exact score?

Just me and Steve.

And me.

Don't forget me.

I won't.

How are we doing? Fine, just fine.

Come on, a marvellous view of the whole area from here. How many exactly?

Listen, weight of numbers is nobody. How many agree?

Sunly. Oh.

Oh, good.

I thought that Sunly would be the exception.

There's nothing much he can do, of course, but it's nice to know I was

I've been here long enough to make a fairly accurate character assessment of

fellow patients.

Could you make me some tea?

Tea?

Yes, tea.

China, if you can find it.

Ching Kong.

Simply super.

I didn't miss anything, did I?

Mother.

What?

Department S line out of order. Hold on.

Put a radio call through to Department S. They're not receiving.

Hold on.

Get me Colonel Berman immediately.

Put out a general alert for Kafka.

Condition red.

Call a conference for all heads of departments immediately.

Colonel Berman, tell me, what's the situation at Department S?

All systems functioning.

Are you sure?

Well, I can't tell you how relieved I am, old bean.

It means that Steed is still safe and sound inside.

How's your wife?

Good. You must come over and we'll have a rubber of bridge one day.

Yes.

Splendid.

Mother. What?

Well, why didn't you tell me that before?

Kafka escaped by helicopter.

Steed is mine.

Mop up in the opposition, but Steed is mine.

Time for your tea.

Oh, that's fine.

Steed! Look, now, I'm enjoying it. It's exercise.

I'm at the root of this little problem, and I think that I should deal with it.

Oh, Kafka won't be alone, will he?

Well, all the same, I prefer you to be out of the way.

I really would prefer it. You won't stand a chance. Now, please sit down.

look. What I lack in physical agility, I can make up for with a degree of low

cunning. You forget the luck of the Irish.

You're English.

Don't quibble over small points.

Now, Tara, I hate to do this to you, but I'm going to lock you away until it's

all over.

What was it?

A valuable property to be protected.

But that's ridiculous, Steve. I can help you. You'd be a hindrance.

Now, I'd be worrying about you. You'd get us both killed.

Steve, come on.

I'm sorry.

But it was a very good vintage.

It's only a girl.

Hello.

All right, right guard.

This way.

I don't like to see the eyes.

Kafka! Kafka, can you hear me?

It's checkmate.

You can't go any further. You can't get past me.

You're on your own now, Kafka.

Listen, Kafka, why don't you go back?

What are you offering? You throw down your guns and come out, and then I'll

you. Give me time to think. I'll give you ten seconds.

One, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, ten. All right. I'm

coming out.

As you said, checkmate.

And then, steed.

Kafka, it's me you want.

And I came here for a rant.

Feel like flying a helicopter?

Ready? Almost.

Come along in. How's your leg?

Oh, it's much, much better. I won't be swinging a frizzy leg for a while,

It doesn't matter. We won't dance. Just gaze into each other's eyes.

What,

for me?

It's a little gesture of my affection and gratitude.

Oh, good.

Look

what I

want.

It's just a memento, you know.

Oh, look inside.

Oh,

that'll come in handy. Thank you. There's more.

Very stylish, if I may say so.

Cigars? Oh, my dear. Do you know how wonderful those were?

Very unique.

It's luminous.

Shall we go?