All language subtitles for The Avengers s05e16 Whos Who

Is that you?

Phase one complete, Lola.

On to phase two, Basil.

It's that.

doesn't bring Steed and Mrs. Peel.

Nothing will.

Mrs. Peel, we're needed.

Now I've seen everything.

Hooper. What?

Hooper. He's one of our best agents.
He's a very upright fellow.

Very? Well, let's take a closer look.

He must have been shot with this.

It's a crimson glory.

Won first prize at the Chelsea Flower
Show.

It's also Hooper's code name. A rose.

It's Major B's idea. He hates the idea
of our chaps being a bunch of spies.

Prefers a bouquet of agents.

What was he doing here anyway?

He came to meet someone.

Here's Mrs. Peel again.

Those photos you supplied Dr. Krelma
didn't do her justice.

I agree with you, Basil.

She's enchanting.

Delectable.

Ravishing.

Yes, I think I'm going to enjoy this
assignment.

Look at those legs.

Not a patch on your blood.

Yes.

Well,

those photos didn't do him justice
either.

Poised, charming.

Ooh, I think I'm going to like this
design.

That's not what we're here for.

All right, cut it, Kilmer.

We've seen enough.

The ball's in your court now, Doctor.

I'm ready.

But are you sure that Steed will come
here?

Quite sure.

And when I put this on the door, I am
equally sure he

will come in.

Steed?

A clue.

Rather an obvious one.

It's still worth following up.

I'll do it. You take care of the gun.

No sign of him. He'll come.

I know Steed.

The way he thinks.

He'll be here.

Help you relax.

Tension is dissipated by mental
attitude.

As a psychiatrist... You all set?

Yes.

Time for the unveiling.

Nervous? I have every confidence in the
doctor.

Our people only hire the best.

I'm going to miss you, battle baby.

Touch of migraine.

Migraine.

Take one of these.

Get out of sight.

Heddle down.

Good morning.

Good morning, sir.

Can I be of help?

I hope so.

Ah, stilts. For yourself?

A fancy dress party.

Give me a bird's eye view and nothing
else.

We have a large selection.

So I see.

Do you sell many of these nowadays?

All right. You're certain?

Please.

I experimented during the war.

I had unlimited guinea pigs.

We lost many, but now it is perfected.

Lower the visor.

When you are ready.

Many things could go wrong.

Stop worrying.

It's all so... Simple.

Have you never felt remote, isolated,
detached?

All I have done is harness this inner
self, control it, and as you will see,

transplant it. The mind, the soul, the
entire psyche, from one body to another.

And vice versa.

It is quite safe, you have my assurance.

Now, it is vital to keep the mind and
body working.

When I give the signal, you will start
counting.

Now. 1, 2, 3, 4,

5, 6, 7, 8,

9, 10, 11,

12, 13, 14, 15, 16,

17.

19 20 21 22

I made it, lover.

Basil.

What's the matter?

I miss the moustache.

So do I.

You're a genius, doctor.

I am paid to be.

Now permit this peel.

Tea.

I checked on that gun.

And? You'll never guess who it was
registered to. Do tell.

Me. It's a very odd affair.

Odder than you think.

Oh?

The stilt shop, it was empty, but there
was a contraption there, a weird sort of

thing. An electronic device, lots of
dials, and, uh, well, I think it'd be

better if you came and saw it for
yourself.

I'll get my coat.

Help yourself to a drink.

Uh, thanks, I'd, uh...

On second thoughts, I think I'd better
not keep a clear head and all that.

Ooh, you have changed.

Well, I'm ready.

Good. Right, Emma.

Here we go.

I only hope he can convince Mrs. Peel.

He will.

Battle's been well trained.

This operation has taken years to plan,
as you very well know.

I think you'll agree our English is
impeccable. Yes, but why Steve and

Mrs. Peel?

Why not the heads of state, the Prime
Minister?

Politicians are replaceable.

What we aim to destroy is the very
structure of their security system.

How is that possible?

Your job was to perfect the machine, not
to ask questions.

They're here.

Leave this to me.

Right, where's the contraption?

Shh.

Around there.

Mrs. Peel, look out!

Steve!

Doctor?

Very foolish, Mr. Steve. I felt that.
That was my face you were bruising.

Go on, help the doctor.

I admire your tailor, old man. Very good
taste.

More than I can say for yours.

Your face, remember?

Relax, lover.

It's all quite painless.

You should know.

Bon voyage.

Stand by to start counting.

And I give the signal.

Now. One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

You okay?

Great, baby.

That's my Lola.

What do we do with me?

What is good for the goose is good for
the... Help me, Doctor.

We make a very handsome couple.

Come on, lover. We've got a full program
ahead.

If you shout, don't gamble on anyone
hearing you.

One second.

Old habits die hard.

Steve!

That woman!

That's not me.

Save your breath, Mrs. Peel.

That's not me either.

For the benefit of those who've only
just switched on to the Avengers, we'd

to explain that these two villains...

have swapped minds with Steed and Emma.

So at the moment, the villains look like
this.

While Steed and Emma look like this.

Got it?

This is Steed, and this is Emma.

And these are the villains.

At least I think they are.

On with the show.

Basil, baby!

Steed certainly has a taste.

I feel positively immaculate.

Basil. Hmm?

Shoulders. I thought you'd done your
homework.

Steed has poise, a touch of the
aristocrat. You slouch like a peasant.

mind? I know Steed like the back of
my... His hand.

Yes, he certainly has something, I must
say.

I do so agree.

Dear Lola, Mrs. Peel is not unappealing.

Oh? As they say.

The change is as good as the rest.

Yeah.

But I wonder if they think so.

So you imagine I'm part of some fiendish
plot, Mrs. Pugh?

I know, indeed.

And you are not he.

And to quote, or nearly, you are not she
either.

Transmigration.

Interchange. Switch.

Swap. Call it what you will.

No. It's some trick.

Well, I'll say one thing. You've
certainly retained your stubborn streak.

Do you remember that drive from Montbert
to Dijon?

Turn right. And you turn left. Well, if
I had... We'd have missed that

delightful chateau, Gourmet's Paradise.

Except for the claret. The Chablis, Mrs.
Peel.

It was Chablis.

You still doubtful?

Well, I know who I am.

And if you are, Steed, I wonder what we
are up to.

Well, well, it is a pleasant surprise.

It isn't often you two drop by.

Um, coffee, Mrs. Peel, Steed?

Thank you, Major, but this isn't a
social visit.

Oh?

We came to see you about Hooper.

Hooper? Hooper.

Poor Hooper.

Poor, poor Hooper.

How do you interpret his death?

Unlucky break?

Chance encounter with someone from the
other side?

Sorry. We think it's more far -reaching
than that.

We look on it as the beginning of an
attack on the whole floral network.

Oh, but that's impossible.

Well, you know the way I've reorganized.

I've split the whole of Europe into
sections.

We're running the entire show from these
shores.

Even though our agents are based here,
it doesn't make them less vulnerable.

We want to check the whole network.

Oh.

Well, uh, really, Steve, you know, that
information is highly confidential.

I realize their locations are strictly
hush -hush, but a brief word with each

them might clear up the whole affair.

All we want is their telephone numbers.

Hmm.

Uh, Tulip?

You've got a copy of the list of network
security numbers, haven't you?

Yes, sir. In the file.

Well, would you mind bringing it right
away, please?

Certainly, Major.

Yes, thank you.

Oh, we'll get to the bottom of this,
Steed.

Steed, Mrs. Peel.

How nice to see you. Hello, Tulip.

How are you?

Blooming.

File you wanted, Major.

Ah, thank you, Tulip.

Oh, there we are, Steed.

Make good use of it. Oh, we will, Major.
You may depend upon it. Goodbye, Major.

Mr. Steele. Tulip.

Ah,

splendid pair.

Splendid, sir.

Utterly trustworthy.

Utterly. Tenacious, too.

I mean, once they're on an assignment,
they stick to it.

Oh.

Nearly a question of contracting the
wrist.

Mind if I have a go?

Do.

A spot of kung fu might do the trick.

Going down.

Congratulations, Mrs. Peel. There are
some pools over there.

Mrs. Beale, I think we have our key.

But it'll be easier face to face.

One.

Two.

Now then.

Hello, Daffodil.

Steed here.

Look, I want to see you right away.

Right. At my apartment.

I'll be waiting for you.

True. But unfortunately, when the doctor
left, he took his fiendish machine

with him.

And unfortunately, we've got to find
him.

And the only way to find him is to find
the other me.

Yes.

If you were you, where would you head?

Back to my apartment.

Right girl.

After you.

That's better.

Suppose you know how to start her. Still
don't believe I'm me, Mr. Phil.

You're you.

How are you? Come on in.

You know Mrs. Peel, don't you? Yes,
hello.

Thank you, daffers.

Help yourself to a drink.

Thanks.

Well, what's this all about, Steed?

Why'd you ask me over?

I'll tell you why.

Who's next?

Poppy. Oh.

Oh, Poppy.

Steed here.

Well, thanks, Poppy.

See you soon.

Looks a bit sparse.

Never mind. There'll soon be a
delightful arrangement.

Hey, Basil.

They could be at my place.

How will you find out? Soon, Jacob.
There's a call box around the corner.

They're on their way.

We'll let the Major deal with that.

Yes.

Got that description. I'll have my men
over there right away.

We have trespassers.

Fabulous.

And it's the Englishman's inviolable
right to defend his home.

You know, you won't use that.

Oh? And fill yourself full of holes.

All right, get them.

You all right, Steve?

Well, I'm... I'm fine.

We'll take care of them.

For the benefit of those who just
switched on to the Avengers, we'd like

repeat the following explanation.

These two villains have swapped minds
with Steed and Emma. So at the moment,

villains look like this.

While our delightfully dashing duo,
Steed and Emma, look like this.

Very confusing.

But favoring, it'll all sort itself out.

I hope.

For the last time, what are your names?
The truth now.

John Steed.

Mrs. Peel.

Emma Peel. Sir.

Madam. As enemy agents, I respect your
reticence in disclosing your identities.

But what can be the purpose of this
ridiculous charade?

Oh, come along now. Be reasonable.

All this nonsense about swapping
psyches, really.

I know Steed.

I played cricket with him at Lord's.

The last match, you dropped two easy
catches.

Oh.

You've got it all at your fingertips.

Every minute detail.

And I expect you, madam, could tell me
the name of my barber.

I might.

Except you're wearing a toupee.

Yes, they've got you briefed, haven't
they? Very well briefed.

What a cunning lot you are.

Well, it won't help you.

I'm head of intelligence. Do you take me
for a perfect idiot?

No one's perfect.

Major, we'll talk outside.

Have you heard from Poppy?

Say, they're who?

Steed and Mrs. Peel.

Steed and Mrs. Peel? Yes.

Been swapped.

I've heard of a few stories. So have I.

But this beats the lot.

Have you questioned them? Yes, yes.
Can't be faulted.

Even you, I was wearing a... Yes?

Oh, nothing.

I mean, it would be different if they
looked alike.

Doubles, that sort of thing. I mean,
that's been done before.

But swapping? Psyche, as I ask you.

Anyway, I know an old Etonian when I
meet one, and I can promise you one

That chap in there is no gentleman.

One thing is certain.

They don't believe us.

Well, let's be fair.

Would you?

Well, unless we can get rid of these,
and quick, our floral network will end

a barren garden.

No other way out.

I know.

This might help.

Standard equipment.

Not for an emergency.

And this is definitely an emergency.

All right, Philip. The moment you hear
from Poppy, let me know.

Very artistic.

Quite a flair, my pet.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Major.

Steed? They've escaped.

We're covering all the exit roads. They
won't get far.

I want them alive.

They could be useful.

No violence. I must have them alive.

They've flipped the net.

They might turn up again.

They're going to find a new
headquarters.

How about my apartment?

It's quieter.

Much more discreet.

Yes, Major.

I'm at Steed's place.

They've escaped.

I know.

The Major called.

Don't worry.

I'll be ready for them if they turn up.

You've been having a ball.

The last of my four to ten.

And not even chilled.

Now, Steve, don't get irate. I rate my
cigars. I've been smoking my cigars.

And he's bitten the end off.

Now, now, calm down.

What sort of a fiend are we dealing
with?

A man who would... Bite the end of a
cigar is capable of anything.

Ah!

My best bowler's still here. That's one
thing.

Deed. I know.

They've got half the network.

Call the Major.

Useless. He knows my voice. He wouldn't
listen to... me.

Then we've got to locate Krelma.

And... ourselves.

I have a shrewd idea where they are.

Emma Peel.

It's me.

Hello.

Hello.

Wrong number.

Another drink?

Basil. Oh.

Sorry,

lover, I was thinking.

Nice thing.

Think to me that Steve and Emma have got
it made.

Live in the right place.

Know the right people.

Go to the right places. Wear all the
right clothes.

You should see her wardrobe.

Basil.

Well, why not?

Take out permanent residence.

Got a lot in his favor.

What do you think?

As you say.

He's got a lot in his favor.

Why not?

Major, a steed here.

Amend my previous instructions.

Those two agents, they're highly
dangerous.

Kill them on sight.

Both agents armed and dangerous.

If you spot them, shoot to kill.

Message understood, Major.

Over and out.

Who is next on their list?

I'd say...

Bluebell. Can you reach him?

I doubt if he'll listen, but I can try.

No reply.

We'd better head for your apartment.

Come on.

Tulip old plant.

Slight misunderstanding.

Come on.

Tulip calling B. Tulip calling B.

B receiving you. Come in, Tulip.

Major, those agents, they're assassin.

They've eliminated half our network.

The finest of our flowers.

Call in every available man.

Thank you.

Lost him.

Well, there's no point in heading for
your place. They'll have men posted

It's the doctor we want.

If he's got the machine, our other
halves will head for him sooner or

Yes.

Unless they favour the present
arrangement.

Unless they what?

Well, think of the advantages.

They'd have access to every file and
every secret document.

And they'll destroy the machine as soon
as possible.

We've got to find Cromwell.

And quickly.

I doubt he's in the phone book.

We'd better find out.

Oh!

What's wrong?

I don't know.

Headache.

Feels like migraine.

That's not like you.

I don't happen to be me, remember?

The Manor House, Hambledon.

Well, I'm sure we made the right
decision.

We're going to have fun, Lola. Lots of
fun.

In separate apartments?

I hadn't thought of that.

Steve and Mrs. Peel seem to be just good
friends.

Well, if they were, they're going to be
a lot friendlier from now on.

Oh, and the other thing about Steve and
Emma, we can infiltrate into every

government department.

The perfect double agents.

Oh, there's another thing. My migraine.

Do you know that I haven't had a
headache ever since... The tablets.

What tablets?

The ones that Krelma gave me. I put them
in my... In his pocket.

Krelma, the dress was on the bottle.

Get over there before they do.

Destroy the machine.

There it is.

All in one piece.

How's it work?

Oh, indeed.

Nice to see you.

Wonder what I'm doing here.

Whatever the reasons, you're very
obliging.

Time you were yourself again.

Well?

I'll check next door to see if there are
some instructions.

Doctor, they've swapped me back.

Reverse the machine.

How? No time to explain. Hurry, I've got
work to do.

How did they find me?

Those pills.

Hurry, get on with it.

I'm going to start counting.

Now. One, two, three, four,

five, six.

Eight, nine, ten.

All right.

I'm glad I got here.

Not half as glad as I am.

I've got Crelma to switch me back.

Who is?

Oh, now, look, Steed, it's really me.

No, Steed, don't force me to.

Force you to what?

And if you want further proof... Oh.

Mrs.

Peel. Well, at least I'm back to normal.

Yes, and what about me?

Did you do it?

I... I had some trouble.

But you destroyed the machine.

No. Krelma stopped me.

He said it was his brainchild.

Krelma stopped you?

I thought I'd give you the pleasure of
dealing with him.

Oh.

I know there have been some changes
lately, but there's certain things about

Lola I don't want you to change.

How can we better deal with Krelma?

How does it feel to be back home?

Tulip calling B. Tulip calling B.

Come in, Tulip.

I've located both agents.

The manor house, Hamilton.

I'm going in.

Not to my death.

Nor is your perfume.

Well, that hurt him more than it did me.

Does

that

solve your problem?

My pleasure.

Remember.

This way, Steve.

Steve?

Well, I shall have to get used to
calling you that now, won't I? Not in

Let's hear it, Lola.

Let's hear my own name.

What's my name?

The real Mrs. Peel, isn't it?

Sorry. I prefer Lola.

Sorry.

that machine.

Look out, Basil.

The chair, quick.

Can you work it? I think so.

Right. Start counting.

Now. One.

Two.

Right, they're back.

Steve, Mr. Spiels, not too late.

Almost too early.

Ah, good.

There. Coming pair, these two. Try to
pretend they were you.

Thank you, Mrs. Beale.

Oh.

Don't tell me they got the entire
network.

Hardly, but the survivors delivered
these personally.

You are popular.

It happens to be a special occasion.

Does it?

It does.

Don't tell me.

Easter's gone. Can't be Mother's Day.

It's too warm for Christmas. It couldn't
be someone's birthday.

It could.

Oh, well, I suppose one should never
take a man for granted.

I quite agree.

But flowers are so commonplace. Now, my
idea of a celebration is to take wing on

a flight to Paris, aperitifs at
Lafayette, dinner in Montmartre,

moonlight at Saint -Tropez. I do so
agree.

Start packing, Mrs. Beale.

Already have.

One should never take a man for granted,
but one does.

Come along, Basil, baby.

Coming, honey child.