Original subtitles

Goodnight, Kermit.

In there.

I saw him. Who?

I saw him with my own eyes. Who did you see?

He rose up out of the grave.

The Duke. What are you talking about? The ghost of the dead Duke. I saw him.

He's in there.

The ghost materialized itself somewhere near here. Went for a nocturnal stroll,

dropped into the chapel, and then dematerialized itself again.

Ghoulies and ghosties and things that go bump in the night. Ding -dong.

This ghost made more of a ding -dong than a bump. It started swinging on the

bell rope, kicked up quite a racket, loud enough to wake the... Well, pretty

loud, anyway.

Was it just any old ghost, or one person in particular?

Very particular. Montague Staplow, the sixth Duke of Benedict.

He died 1698.

Now, this is the family graveyard. All the Staplos are buried here.

Not quite all.

Rupert Staplo, the 15th Duke of Benedict. His body lies, we know not

in the Benedict Mine disaster.

This is to commemorate him and the brave men who died with him.

The Benedict Mine disaster. That was about five years ago, wasn't it?

There were 30 men lost, and the roof caved in. And they were never able to

out. The pit was sealed off, and the mine closed down.

Well, that lets out Rupert, the 15th Duke.

It couldn't have been him who popped up last night. Do you believe in ghosts?

Someone does.

Kermit the Hermit.

You didn't answer my question. Do you believe?

Let's put it this way.

Strange happenings need looking into. Now, you stay here and browse around,

I'll go and see Kermit the Hermit.

Kermit?

Kermit?

That's not a very nice welcome. I'd like to be left alone.

I'd like you to tell me a ghost story. A ghost?

Yeah, like the one you saw last night.

I didn't see anything.

I'd had too much to drink. When I've had too much to drink, I think he's here.

Here. Just go away. Leave me alone.

I didn't see anything.

There wasn't any ghost.

There never was a ghost.

Never. Never.

The vibrations are marvelous.

Vibrations. They're all around us. My psyche is absolutely tingling.

Feel it.

I thought of...

Splendid.

In fact, I'd say it was the best I've ever experienced.

I'm Mandy Mackay of Fog.

Fog?

Friends of girls.

Yeah.

Superly supernatural here.

Definitely.

Ghosts all around us.

Uh... Uh, Peele. Mrs. Emma Peele. Mrs. Peele.

Yes. They're all here.

And friendly.

Well, Fogg believes that all ghosts are friendly.

I mean, people are always being frightened of ghosts.

But have you ever considered that they might be frightened about us?

You do give them a terrible time, you know. Hunting them, exorcising them.

time they take a little stroll, someone's liable to throw a blue fit.

Poor things.

How many ghosts have you actually seen?

Well, I haven't actually seen any.

But I think there's definitely one here, and I mean to seek him out.

With camp and mumbo -jumbo.

With superstitious nonsense.

You? Me.

And about to disprove all your silly little notions.

George Spencer. He's from Smog, Mrs. Peel.

Smog? Scientific measurement of ghosts.

A society that does not believe in ghosts, Mrs. Peel.

There's a scientific explanation to all hauntings. And we find that explanation

scientifically. We fight legend with logic.

Folklore with facts.

Cold clinical facts.

You may rest assured.

The dead Duke of Benedict does not walk this area.

Morning!

Lucky I was flying high, otherwise you'd have winged me.

You saw the notice.

Back there, keep out. You saw it?

Yes, yes.

Well?

Beautiful, bright paint.

Excellent lettering, easy to read.

I'd have preferred a four -point direct myself.

But on the whole, I'd say an excellent notice. It meant what it said. Keep out,

keep away.

You're in danger of roughing my feathers.

What's going on? Mezgar?

Only a testament to your grace. Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Your grace,

the Duke of Benedict, John Steed. There's a business matter.

Is there somewhere private we can talk?

Certainly.

When I have laid all

this out, the trap will be set.

Do you really think you'll catch something?

I have caught things before, but only hook, sir.

Practical jokers.

Never a real genuine goat.

Well, if you can't cross the big one, you can always cut him down to size with

that sword.

You're both unbelievers.

You've got to be in sympathy.

Without sympathy, you won't see anything.

Okay, all right.

It'll be a long, cold, fruitless vigil.

Do you intend staying here all night?

At least until midnight.

The witching hour.

I must apologise to my estate manager.

Takes his duties rather furiously.

That delightful Claret fully makes up for his discontent.

I thought it might.

Tell me now, indeed, what do you want to see me about?

Ah.

Who's this?

Oh, oh, that's poor cousin Rupert.

He died in the miners' after, didn't he?

Yes, poor fellow. He was taking some visitors around at the time, and the

caved in, and the 15th Duke was no more.

And the 16th took over.

What a fine old house.

Now, look here, Steed, what is this business of yours?

My business is shooting.

Shooting?

Well, I heard the game around here was very good, so I thought I'd ask your

permission to roam around and bang away at it. I'm afraid that'll be quite

impossible, Mr. Steed. We've had so much poaching this year, the game is very

scarce. I'm sure you understand.

Oh, yes, yes, poachers, hordes of them.

I'm terribly sorry, my dear Jeff. Well, it wasn't a wasted visit anyway.

Had access to your cellar.

Cellar? Do you mean he's been down... Do you mean you... He's referring to the

wine. It's an old English custom to refer to one's wine stock as one's

But perhaps he's, um... He's unfamiliar with old English customs.

Well, it's been awfully nice meeting you, Steed.

I hope you'll come back again when we're not so busy.

Spun can lotion?

About a ton of it. And that's not all.

No?

The Duke's estate.

Hotly defended by gamekeepers.

Isn't that their job?

Yes, but not when they shoot at things out of season.

What's out of season now?

Me. And that's not all.

There's a very strange chap called Mazgard. He works for the Duke.

He was very nervy when I mentioned the wine cellar. Which wine cellar?

The Duke.

And you think there's something nasty in the Duke's wine cellar? Could be.

Well, what's it to be? Same again?

Same again, please, landlord.

Yes, sir.

What did you find out?

Nothing. Nothing? Nothing at all.

Just a couple of goat hunters.

One of them's keeping a twilight watch at the chapel now.

First, there's Spencer of Smog.

Smog? Smog. He does it all by science.

Then there's Mandy Mackay of Fog. Fog? Fog. She does it all by... Ah, Miss

Mackay. I was just telling Mr. Teed about the Friends of Ghosts. Mandy

John Steed. How do you do? Hello.

Do you believe in ghosts, Mr. Teed?

It's uncanny.

Unbelievable.

Supernatural.

It's an omen. A bad omen.

Papa! Papa!

All right.

All right. Keep your voice down.

I want two bottles.

Two bottles of the usual.

Something a little better.

Something with a bit more quality.

That's mine. I earned it.

Earned it? How did you earn it? I didn't do any harm.

Just told a lie, that's all.

About the ghost.

Well, you said there wasn't a ghost.

That's the lie I told.

There was a ghost all right. I saw it with my own eyes.

But he paid me to say I hadn't seen it. Who paid you?

Him, up at the Duke's.

Mad God.

Mad God paid me.

You are quite correct, Mr. Steed.

I did pay Kermit to keep his mouth shut.

Why?

I really don't see that that has anything to do with you.

I don't mind telling you.

This story about a ghost.

Let a thing like that spread and people will come here from miles around.

Hundreds of them, maybe thousands.

It could ruin the estate, frighten the game away.

And as a sportsman, I am sure that you share my concern for the game.

So I paid Kermit...

in order to stop the story before it started.

Satisfied?

As a sportsman, let's just say that I share your concerns for the game.

Right, ready when you are. I still don't think you should come along.

Nonsense. If you're going to keep watch, so am I.

You, an unbeliever. A disbeliever. Not quite the same thing. I'm skeptical, but

I could be convinced.

I still don't feel in sympathy.

Spencer wasn't in sympathy, but the ghost put in an appearance for him with

vengeance. Shall we go?

To do as I say. If a ghost appears, you tackle his leg.

I'll bash him over the head.

That is, unless he's got it tucked underneath his arm.

Stronger than ever.

Usual? In a minute.

What do you know about the Duke of Benedict?

This one?

No backbone.

Rupert, now the 15th Duke. He was a real man.

Things were different when he was alive.

It was a terrible disaster when we lost him like that.

What happened exactly?

We never did find out for sure.

Mr. Rupert was showing off some of his mining techniques to a party of more

30. Mining experts, most of them.

Bit four.

The roof came in.

And they never got him out?

So they closed the mine.

They made it a sort of tomb for them all.

There's a draft coming from somewhere. Do you feel it?

It's a door.

No, it closed.

Now I did.

It's coming from somewhere.

Somewhere over here.

What about Mazgard?

What about Mazgard?

Well, where was he?

When?

When the mine caved in.

No idea.

He's only been here a month.

He's very familiar with the Duke. He's only been here a month.

Isn't he, though?

Well, I'd better be going. If Mrs. Peel comes in, you'll tell her... Mrs. Peel

went out to the chapel.

She's keeping watch.

happened? What is it?

Ghost.

It took her.

It took Mrs. Peel.

and tell us what happened.

We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We...

We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We...

We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We...

We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We...

We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We...

We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We...

We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We...

We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We... We...

We... We... We... We...

We...

And transparent.

Transparent? You could have read a newspaper through him. Could you?

Go on, Marina.

He stretched out his arms, moved towards Mrs. Peel, and then... And then?

And then I ran.

And Mrs. Peel?

Didn't run.

I say, I've actually seen my first ghost.

My dear friend.

I've just heard.

I've seen my first goat.

I'll do everything I can to help.

I've seen my first goat. My very first goat.

My people are searching the whole area. They work all night in this village.

My first goat.

She's seen her first goat.

Funny business.

Hilarious. I've actually seen my first goat.

You bet it.

Ah,

my dear chap.

No luck, I'm afraid.

That's a relief.

Eh? I don't relish finding Mrs. Peel in the graveyard.

No. No, no, of course.

Still, he bet it, what?

See what we can dig up?

I mean, see what we can find.

They won't find anything here.

It's the wrong place.

They should try the mine.

That's where the others are.

Others? What others?

Now, you have to offer some information.

Now, you said the others were here.

What others?

The Prince, Duke, Mr. Rupert, and those that were with him.

What, you mean the men who died in the mine disaster?

They're not dead.

They're still here.

Down there.

Five years ago. They died five years ago.

They're still alive.

Alive and down there.

I've heard them. Heard what?

Them.

Down there.

Trying to tunnel out.

I've heard them tapping.

you

Why is it light on?

Who's been down here?

I expect they've been shifting the gale around.

And who harmed the graveyard, Sir?

An unnecessary piece of theatricality on your part.

You're not required to think but to do as you're told.

Well, it seemed a good idea to help Steve. Any more good ideas and you'll

to go underground for a while. Well, I'm awfully sorry.

What do we do now?

You will come to learn we never panic.

There is a solution to every problem.

What's up?

I want to go down the mine.

You what?

Is there someone in the village who can take me there?

Look, is there someone who knows how?

Well, there's me.

Oh, good.

Yeah, I worked in that mine for ten years.

Well, then you can take me down, can't you?

No.

Not there. Why not?

There's nothing mortal scares me but that bit of a tomb.

An evil place.

Oh. Come now.

No.

But I'll send you down. I'll operate the cage.

But I stay on top.

Fair enough.

I suppose there's a good reason.

Let's say there's the ghost of a good reason.

It's about the haunting, isn't it, Mrs. Peel?

I'm coming with you.

Absolutely no.

Well, I couldn't dare not go. I'd be drummed out of fog.

You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?

Now, look here, Miss Mackay, do you think you can make me change my... that

can trick me round your, um... by rolling those beautiful blue eyes of

They're grey, actually.

So they are, they're so grey. I love the way they... No, no, no!

You let me go first.

That wheel hasn't turned in five years.

That's the theory.

Cage is over here.

Go ahead. Bounce!

spooky atmosphere.

But no.

I mean, who ever heard of a subterranean ghost?

A ghost is the spirit of the dead, isn't it?

Well, there must be at least 30 dead somewhere down here.

All right, Hopper, who's down there?

Don't be heroic. I asked you a question.

Steed and the girl.

Girl?

Miss Mackay, she's with him.

Is she now?

Get an axe. Cut through the cables.

We must have walked miles.

About one mile.

But don't you think it's far enough? There's nothing down here, Steed.

It's stopped now.

It came from over there, I'm sure of it.

This could be the rock ball that trapped those men.

If it is, then it must be solid rock all the way back for miles.

I mean, they didn't get out, did they?

Rupert. That's right, Steed.

Rupert.

The 15th Duke of Benedict.

I had hoped you wouldn't get this far.

But you have.

And now you must stay.

I've seen your name on a grave.

Perhaps I am dead.

Perhaps we're both dead.

And this is some kind of hell.

Most of the others are dead.

The men who were with you? Yes.

There were more than 30 of us. Now there are just five.

Just five.

All the others have gone.

And that's their only monument.

They kept us down here to build that.

Down? What do you mean, down?

That street you see.

Have you the faintest idea where we are?

Wait!

We are more than a mile and a half underground.

The sunlight is provided, so is the fresh air.

But why?

Well, you may ask, Mrs. Peel.

Out.

don't think we've had the pleasure.

Pleasure?

I've heard all about you, Mr. Massguard.

Your friend, Mr.

Steed.

Yes.

And what do you think of our arrangement?

Of course, you can only see a small part of it from here.

A very small part.

But beyond that street is a complete town.

Shops. Cinemas.

Recreation parks.

Every amenity.

You look surprised.

I am.

I know there's a population problem up top, but I don't see the point in... In

building a town underground.

No, it's quite simple.

If an army of men is to stay under the earth for 10, perhaps 15 years, they

need every comfort. It's absolutely essential for their morale, so that they

perfectly ready when needed.

An army?

Quite soon, yes.

Our town is fairly empty at the moment. We're operating with a minimum force.

But within a month, we will have a population of over 20 ,000 trained

men with their families.

And they, and all the supplies they need, will be brought here by

submarine.

A submarine?

To a coal mine?

It's only a few miles to the coast.

You've got to have a tunnel. We have a tunnel.

It's nearing completion at the moment.

A tunnel from here to the sea.

So the mining disaster was a fake.

We had to have the top men for our task.

Mining experts of the highest degree.

And Geoffrey, the Duke of Benedict?

An outer cover man, I think he might be called.

It's very difficult for us to go up on top.

You get so pale living down here. I would not have gone up if... If Rupert

hadn't escaped and started the ghost scare.

Exactly.

It's far too elaborate for a private fantasy.

It is neither private nor a fantasy, Mrs. Peel.

My country plans ahead.

And one day, soon, we will decimate your country.

Up there, but... Down here, we will escape the effects of the radiation, and

day, our army will move.

It will rise up into the cold, fresh air, and Britain will be ours.

But that is for the future.

We still have a few problems of the present to take care of.

Yes, they are taking him to be shot.

Execution squad!

Halt!

Ride!

It's

customary

to ask, do you have any last request before you?

Yes, would you cancel my milk?

Last cigarette?

No, thank you. Oh.

Do you mind if I do?

Not at all.

It's important to do these things well.

Yes.

Blindfold? I think so.

No peeping.

We're ready.

Good.

Right. I'll see to it straight away.

Execution squad, prepare to take aim!

For that, you'd definitely get a mention in my will.

Did the whole of your past life flash before your eyes?

Yes.

Infinitely enjoyable.

You know what's going on here?

I have a good idea.

Highly antisocial.

Agreed. It's got to be stopped.

Yes. We've had special instructions to bury you.

Not just yet.

Thank you very much.

Now, who knows the way out of here?

There are only two ways out.

The shaft itself and the main exit.

Exit? Ah, now that's the word I approve of. That's a good word.

Exit from the Latin.

Exodus. To depart from, to leave, to escape. To follow me. Are you coming?

This runs up to the lower level. After that, there are tunnels leading to

various exits.

The Benedict Wine Cellars, the graveyard, the chapel. That is the only

Yes. How about cutting one or two wires?

Wait until where? On top. They thought they were building a refuge, but in

actual fact... They were building a trap.

Well, am I shot?

Shut up!

I cut the cable.

You frightened him. Poor dear, he thought he saw a ghost. Well, breakfast

pub. Ah, the spirit.

Found

the trouble?

Not yet, sir.

Ah. Yes?

No.

This... This might be it. What?

Don't move, sir. Don't you even breathe.

Very delicate piece of mechanism, this.

Trouble? Thought so.

There's your trouble, sir.

Ghosts, sir. You've got ghosts in your engine.

Ghosts?

Mrs. Peel?