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We have a responsibility towards the planet,

mankind and its problems.

The challenge we face as a society,

is more threatening than a nuclear war.

Therefore…

we have a social responsibility

to protect future generations from this catastrophe.

Gentlemen…

the world's only hope for erectile dysfunction.

When love just isn't enough.

Erectile dysfunction!

I thought the old guys from Alpha Pharm were gonna faint.

Well, it worked.

This contract is ours.

Come on, everyone wants to congratulate you!

Congratulations on MOJO's biggest contract ever.

Marry me.

Dude, have you forgotten? I'm married to my job.

Congrats.

I won't tell anyone you stole my ideas for your presentation.

Ja, whatever.

Enjoy the glory. Bask in your moment.

Speech!

Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, no one ever thought our small company could achieve this,

but we have.

People, as of today, MOJO represents

the leading family pharmacy group in South Africa, Alpha Pharm.

I'm so proud of you.

-Through thick and thin? -Through thick and thin.

To have a rookie like you take over my company

and rip it to pieces is, to say the least, degrading.

Sorry about your bruised ego.

Apparently, there's medication for that.

Arsenic would be more appropriate for you.

Look, Mr. Swanepoel,

with this settlement, you and your children can retire.

Sign.

Amalgamated Media now owns 73% of Swanepoel & Associates' shares.

The smell of a successful take over, all before seven in the evening.

Goodbye, Mr. Swanepoel.

Our encounter wasn't exactly pleasant.

I've dedicated my life to this company.

Thank you then…

for your life.

That's why he's known in the business as…

Yes. I know what they call him.

The Jackal.

How do you sleep at night?

I'm a lawyer.

First on the one side, then on the other.

Thank you so much.

So, what do you have to say now?

I must say I didn't…

Excuse me.

Denise, hi.

Are you ready for tomorrow's Alpha Pharm photo shoot?

-Yip. -And I assume

that the Alpha First issue is ready for print?

-Everything's in place. -Good.

What do you know about Amalgamated Media?

The media giant that's taking over every business in sight?

Their big scare tactic is some guy called 'The Jackal'?

Rumour has it that we're in their sights.

-Do they want to take us over? -And absorb our client base

-and retrench almost everyone. -No!

With the new Alpha Pharm contract, surely we're safe?

Not safe enough.

We need to land one more big contract.

Who do you have in mind?

Vrede en Lust Wine Estate.

It's a wine farm in Franschhoek.

They're on the verge of breaking into the international market.

When do I meet them?

Tomorrow. Breakfast.

-Here's all the information. -Don't worry, Denise.

Amalgamated Media and their little 'Jackal' won't touch us.

Jaci.

We can't afford any mistakes.

I bet you tomorrow our shares shoot through the roof.

I'm still not sure if it's a good merger for the market, but…

You're wasting your time, they're just after your money.

So?

-Hi. -Hello.

Good evening… ladies.

Ooh… Pardon me, I dropped something.

What?

My jaw.

So, we're new in town and…

We were wondering…

We're businessmen not tour guides.

I can be a tour guide.

Sorry ladies, maybe next time.

-Dude! -Hertjie, focus. Please.

We must make a move on MOJO.

True.

At the rate they're bringing in clients, they'll soon be unaffordable.

Exactly.

Tell you what.

Let's rock up at their offices tomorrow and make them an offer they can't refuse.

Smart.

So, man, how are you gonna make it up to me?

What?

The girls! C'mon, I need a little action.

Hertjie. Why don't you do it yourself?

Hello?

A guy like me has to donate a girl his kidney before she'll date him.

Okay.

Okay.

Go.

Hey!

What are you doing?

How long must I wait before I can buy you ladies a drink?

I'm coming. I'm coming.

Hello?

Please tell me you didn't sleep at the office again?

Denise?

Hi!

I need you on top form at this breakfast.

And you better look like a million bucks.

Don't worry, everything's under control.

Why do you sound so strange? Are you sick?

Uh, no, um…

I'll see you in 15 minutes.

Karla Jordaan reporting for BFF duty.

-You pulled an all-nighter again, hey? -Is it that obvious?

It looks like you snogged a tumble dryer.

No!

Not to worry.

I brought breakfast and a straightener.

Ew! Can't I rather drink the straightener?

No. Drink.

Now I know what turtle brain tastes like.

Sissy!

Okay. I have a meeting with Denise in 15 minutes and after that, breakfast…

Not in the same clothes as last night.

I have an extra blouse in my car.

Hey, your dad's old paisley tie.

MOJO's not gonna know what hit 'em.

Why?

You only wear that tie when you're about to pounce on new prey.

A quick attack before breakfast gives me a healthy appetite.

Wow, that was a nice one.

Wait downstairs. I'll pick you up in the Maserati.

-The Maserati? -Yes.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are Maserati days.

For the rest, we use the Merc.

You're like a girl with matching earrings.

Well, you swing like a girl.

You… you walk like a… girl.

-Idiot! -Wow.

If there are always half naked women in the parking garage,

we'd better buy this place quickly.

Looking good. Blow.

Great. Good luck.

I am so ready for this pitch.

I have to take you off of it.

What?

There's an email from Vrede en Lust.

They want a representative who lives their values.

Is that someone who drinks a lot of wine or someone who drinks wine all the time?

I'm serious, Jaci.

They want someone with strong family values.

Someone that's in a committed relationship.

Not someone who lives for their job

and only sees family at weddings and funerals.

I'm sorry, Jaci.

I know you wanted to keep it quiet, Jaci

but I think now's a good time to tell Denise.

Huh?

Tell me what?

Jaci's been keeping it under the radar.

Especially after her previous engagement fiasco with Markus.

Oh… Yes. That!

It was a terrible time.

The thing is…

Jaci is in a committed relationship.

How long have you and um…

What's-his-name, been together?

About… Must be…

Seven… Eight months?

That's not very long, is it?

No, it isn't, but…

Jaci's engaged!

You should have told me earlier.

You should have!

Who's the guy?

Oh…There's so much I have to tell you about him.

He is… He is just so…

-Charming. -Yes! And he…

has such big… hands.

Yes.

And you know what they say about guys with big hands?

I'll look out for that when I meet him.

Meet him?

Yes.

It's part of Vrede en Lust's instructions.

You and the company we're pitching against must bring your partners to the breakfast.

Oh, okay…

What did you do?

Me? What did I do? What did you do?

What are we gonna do?

Don't ever do that again. You almost scared my butt off of me.

I'm in trouble.

How cool would it be if I could actually scare my butt off?

Focus. I need a fiance, like now!

Uh, what about your cousin?

No, his eyes are too close together.

That blind date from the other night?

The 30-year-old guy with the braces?

Nah-ah.

Your neighbour?

Yes, but isn't he gay?

Fernando's modelling agency is just downstairs.

And that's why you're my best friend.

Go go go!

Why do they let people in if they know there's no parking?

Relax. I'll park.

If you need it, there's a sticker in the cubby hole.

What for?

To say you're disabled.

Do you have a heart?

Ah. Fernando.

Jaci!

I'm so happy you're here.

You know me.

I'm like the Statue of Liberty, girl.

Always at my post.

I need a model that can pretend he's my fiance.

A smart model?

Doesn't exist, girl.

Please! I need him in time for breakfast.

Okay, okay, okay. I'll make a plan.

You know these butch bags are as rare as budgie balls.

There's a bunch here for an audition.

Thank you, Fernando. Thank you.

You owe me.

I'll send one up without fur or wings.

One butch bag without fur or wings.

To go, yes.

Susan, take this to the dry cleaners.

Here's the file you wanted.

Who's our opposition?

Synergy Advertising.

Where Markus works?

Jaci's ex-fiance?

Correct.

-Is he gonna be at the breakfast? -No idea.

He's sending one up.

What?

Uh…

For Karla.

My chicken and tuna mayo.

See you now.

Hi. I'm from Amalgamated Media.

I don't have an appointment,

but I'm sure your boss will want to see me.

And you are Mr…?

Wow, Fernando is quick.

-The suit's a nice touch. -Uh, excuse me?

Thanks, Susan. I'll take it from here.

I know you're actually here for an audition

and it's nothing to ashamed of, Brad Pitt also started out as a model.

Look, I don't know what you earn as a model.

I mean, you're a dime a dozen.

But…

I need your help urgently

and I'll pay you a lot of money for just two hours.

-Miss, listen… -Before you say no,

allow me to explain.

I have to do a presentation for a wine farm

and if I don't get this contract, my company's gonna fold.

All you have to do is pretend to be my madly-in-love fiance for two hours.

And when do these two hours begin?

In exactly…

Eleven minutes.

-Sorry, Miss… -It's just acting.

Surely that's the next step for you as a model?

Thank you for the chat but please excuse me.

Please, please!

I can't allow 'The Jackal' to destroy us.

You say you're doing this to save your job?

All of our jobs from that brainless Amalgamated Media Group.

And you work for MOJO?

But I never said that.

I know, I read it on your door.

Hey!

Not bad for a model.

Pretty please?

JP. Pleasure to meet you, love of my life.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Ok, just wait here.

I need to fetch something from my boss's office.

Oh, and that tie.

Get a different one. Not gonna work for me.

Oh, I'm Jaci.

Hey. Pssst.

I'm hungry.

MOJO is as good as ours.

Of course.

What are you doing here?

I've just been put in a position

which will ensure MOJO does not win another big contract.

Give me your tie.

Why?

His name is JP and he's exactly what I need.

If Denise finds out, she'll fire us both.

What if they ask how you met and all that?

I'll think of something.

As long as he keeps his mouth shut and smiles.

Oh man, you know what they say about models?

-No. What? -Their IQ starts with a comma.

You a model?

Yip. And you have to pretend to be in love with her?

You can't even spell love.

Uh, Karla, this is IQ. IQ this is..

IQ?

Sorry…

JP.

This is JP, the model.

Just for the record, I only respond to JP.

Just JP.

Karla is one of my colleagues.

And you are?

This is Hertjie. Hertjie's my…

stylist.

-Uh, stylist? -Yes. What's a model without one?

Actually more like a babysitter.

Poor JP has a very low…

self-esteem.

Did I mention that…

he's gay?

Okay then.

Come, let's go.

Your gay stylist?

You have an MBA and that's all you could come up with?

Oh! You need a ring.

Congrats!

You guys are so engaged.

All you have to do is smile and nod.

I'm sure understands by now.

I'm just checking.

Just because he looks the part doesn't mean he can act it too.

It's Markus and his super-hot new girlfriend.

Okay, just relax. Tertjie and I will sit close by.

It's… Hertjie.

Not…Tertjie.

Okay.

And that?

Remember, you're in love with me.

I'll try. It won't be easy.

And here's the star of MOJO, Jaci van Jaarsveld.

Jaci, our Synergy opponents.

You know Markus, of course.

Hertjie is a family name.

From my grandfather, Herklaas.

Look, it would be a crime not to mock your name.

And lastly but most importantly,

Mr. Andries Buys from Vrede en Lust.

Vrede and Lust stands for passion…

Vision, hard work.

And that's exactly why you make exceptional wines.

Now, Synergy and I…

Thank you, Mr. Rossouw.

I'd appreciate it if you'd let me finish.

I place enormous value on family

so I'd like it if your partners would say a little something about themselves.

We'll start with the ladies.

Miss Snyman.

Hi. I am Chadrie.

I go spinning in my free time.

Which is always, because my free time is like, all the time.

You mean the time before and after your work,

as a fitness instructor.

Sometimes, I put on my naughty shoes,

eat an ice-cream and shop for an extra two hours.

But just on Saturdays, right my dove?

How long have you been gay?

Uh… since I was a little baby.

No, really?

Well… a couple of minutes ago.

No, come now.

Okay, a couple of months.

That's why I'm not…

Really that camp yet.

I think you're camp enough.

…and it's a privilege to be engaged

to the hardest working, the…

Sexiest woman in the country.

Vrede en Lust doesn't stand for that kind of 'lust', Mr. Basson.

So, JP, what do you do for a living?

I'm a…

A doctor.

Honey, don't be so modest.

JP's one of the best proctologists in the country.

A procto… what?

It's a rectum specialist.

What?

Oh! Like a gynae,

-but just different. -Exactly.

JP and rectums are…

Tight.

Thank you for that, my love.

He saves hundreds of lives literally through their rectums.

That's what I said - like a gynae!

Mr. Buys,

now that you've landed this export contract, I reckon your wines…

Honey, you know what I don't understand?

You don't even like wine.

-Excuse me? -Yes.

You're more of a 'beer' kind of girl.

Yes, if you're talking about ginger beer.

I think she just kicked him.

And it was a good one, right on the shin.

No one kicks JP.

Jaci just did.

So, how long have you guys been playing boyfriend and girlfriend?

About… four months.

Years!

My little scatter-brain.

Sorry, sometimes she's a little…

-Blonde. -Oh, well.

If I can give you some advice, get engaged.

It's just so much more…

Stable.

Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Buys?

I couldn't agree more.

Synergy and I did research on the international wine market…

Excuse me, Markus, I was thinking about a patient's…

Did you say you worked for Synergy?

Yes, that's why I'm here. And…

Wow! Synergy!

You recently did that excellent campaign for the new Telecomms company?

Yes.

Andries, if these guys can do half as much for your wine farm,

you won't only go international, next stop is the moon. The moon!

-Thanks, JP. -Synergy…

Oh, honey.

Look, it's the hospital.

They need you immediately. There's an emergency rectum.

Relax, my love. Dr. Hol…

…zhausen is on call.

Andries…

I'm serious.

That's why I'm inviting you to Vrede en Lust for the weekend.

And I insist that you bring your partners along.

Yes!

I'm sorry, but JP is unfortunately so busy, he won't be able to make it.

That's okay honey.

As you know, rectums have a very long…

incubation period.

So…

Andries, it will be a privilege.

Then that's settled.

We'll spend time on the farm in Franschhoek, and on Sunday morning,

you'll do your pitches in front of a select audience.

What part of 'nod and smile' was unclear?

I think my performance was Oscar material.

You have the talent of an ingrown toenail.

-And, how did it go? -Not too bad.

Except that an hour long engagement just turned into an entire weekend.

-What? -What?

We have to go to Vrede en Lust for the weekend, with our partners.

-I think it's a brilliant idea. -No!

No, it's not a brilliant idea.

You'll phone Andries and tell him you're sick or something.

Use cancer as an excuse if you have to, I don't care

but you're not coming with.

Jaci,

book JP's ticket on our account.

-But Denise, I'm really sorry… -But Denise he can't…

No buts.

Other doctors can stand in for you.

We need you this weekend, JP.

Like you say, Denise.

You need me.

Thank you.

I want the photos of tomorrow's shoot on my desk ASAP.

Fine.

But this time you're on a tight leash and you'll do exactly as I tell you.

Okay, just make sure there are two leashes.

I don't go anywhere without my stylist.

Great.

My fiancé and his gay friend.

I'm sure Andries will love it.

Stop it!

Bye-bye, my dove.

Bye-bye, Markie Warkie. Mwah!

Bye-bye.

Jaci.

Hey.

I wanted to tell you earlier, you look fantastic.

That sounds like…

'Sorry-I-left-you-at-the-altar' guilt talking.

No, really.

You're really looking great.

Thank you.

I miss you.

Tell that to your blonde bombshell.

This, JP guy?

Is he really the one for you?

Yes.

Yes… kind of. Um…

Who knows?

That's how a nice, tight butt should feel.

I bet you can break an egg on that.

JP, my love.

Markus and I were just having a chat.

Excuse me, Markus, I'll just steal her for a moment.

Don't worry. She's all yours.

Jaci…

May the best idea win on Sunday.

Markus, Markus, Markus…

Markus. Don't make me pee around Jaci.

You know, territory and all that.

What do you think you're doing octopus man?

What? I'm your fiancé.

So what's going on between the two of you?

That has nothing to do with you.

Touch my butt again and I'll kick you so hard that tomorrow you'll have a hump.

People! Are we ready to do this thing?

-Props, are you happy? -Almost happy.

You better hurry up.

The model doesn't like her foundation.

Well, her contract says she does.

Three words: Chill and chill.

-Josie. -Girlfriend.

How's it looking?

We're ready for action, as in sa-tis-faction.

Places everybody!

Stand! Pillow! Flowers!

Flowers!

Jaci, have the Alpha Pharm people arrived?

Not yet.

Everything better run smoothly today.

This shoot is just too important for MOJO.

Um, we have a…

Is Alpha Pharm bringing the pills?

Oh no, I have them.

Who would've thought that 'the blue pill' would be de-throned by a purple pill?

Listen…

Where's our male model?

That's actually why I'm here.

We have a lit…

We have a little problem.

That's not a 'little' problem. That's a big problem.

How many pills did he take?

I'd say a whole lot.

That thing needs it's own heart and lungs.

Why did he take the pills? Those are my extra props.

Apparently, he wanted to get into character for the photo shoot.

Good heavens!

Did he just faint?

Probably because all the blood is flowing from his head…

To other body parts.

-Susan, help him. -How?

Improvise!

-And if you need help, call me. -Karla!

Throw cold water on him.

Look, at least we know the pills work…

Look at it this way,

we don't have a model for the launch!

So, you're planning on sinking MOJO from the inside this weekend?

I can sink them whenever I want.

All I need to do is tell Andries that she hired me as her fiancé.

Do it now then.

Nah. I like to play with my prey.

If she finds out who you are…

Relax, she won't. Stand closer to the ball.

Ok, people, we have a tiny technical problem

but we're working on it.

The Alpha Pharm people are almost here.

I have an idea. Phone.

Speak of the devil…

And you step on her bra strap.

-Jaci! -JP.

We have a huge crisis.

Get yourself to MOJO's studios, immediately.

Jaci?

Damn.

I think she's caught us out.

Where's your club?

Ja.

Come.

JP, you're the only person who can help MOJO now.

I doubt that.

Of course, you can, it's your job.

You must just be willing to take over.

Take over?

Yes. Please agree to be our model for today's shoot.

What?

Is that your "big crisis"?

Yes, what else?

It's the perfect solution.

You're a model and you've got time on your hands.

Not as much time as you think.

Uhm… well…

Not so fast, big boy.

We just happen to have…

Two hours available.

Look, I'm doing you a huge favour.

This campaign launches in 346 pharmacies nationwide.

A favour?

-You're the one with the crisis. -Okay, girls.

Firstly…

What's the money like?

Oh, very good! They have a generous budget.

There you have it, JP. We need the money, my friend.

Go, models!

Great.

Okay, people. We're ready for action again.

Follow me to wardrobe.

Come.

Have you gone mad?

Call it the revenge of the gay stylist.

You're gonna pay for this, pal.

Everyone, this is JP, our new model

and Hertjie, his personal stylist.

I was really hoping they'd forgotten that part.

Places everybody.

Ooh, your body looks like a map to heaven.

I can't help you there.

But that guy…

You're on the same team.

Another 'Meila'?

Oh, fantabulous!

Gertie,

I hear you're one of us.

Huh -You know…

Oh… yes.

How about you go do your final check-ups?

My what?

Your final checks.

On him.

Yes… Yes.

Don't even think about it.

Okay, I'm happy.

Ah, fantabulous!

Okay, JP, sit on the edge of the bed.

There you go. Tilt your body towards me.

That's it.

Run your fingers through your hair.

Fantabulous!

Keep these photos from Denise till after the weekend.

Oh hell yes.

Sweeties!

Listen, I don't think there's enough emphasis on his manhood.

The thing about this pill is that it can boost anyone's sex life.

Even if he looks like a Greek god.

I think baby oil will do the trick.

That is a fantastic idea.

Ooh, fantabulous times two!

Make-up, baby oil.

Karla…

Give him one of those flowers.

One with a really long, flaccid stem.

-Baby oil. -Thanks.

Go rub him.

Who me?

No, the five gorillas behind you.

Go rub his chest with oil.

I have to rub you.

Hertjie, don't you touch me.

Nothing about this is funny.

Oh yes, it is.

Almost as funny as - what was it again?

Oh, yes. "But honey, you don't even drink wine."

Karla, we need another flower.

One with a…

Shorter, even more, flaccid stem.

Pants.

Bloody baby oil everywhere.

What time is the board meeting?

In 20 minutes.

Flip.

Don't you knock?

I hope you own something other than stiff suits and… this.

Whatever. I'm late.

What can a model be late for?

Well…

You know, um…

A haircut.

Shopping…

Oh, if you're going shopping, please get something…

Nicer to wear for the weekend.

If you don't like the way I dress, Jaci…

My time - your credit card.

Okay, tomorrow at 9. You and me. Shopping.

-Ah, we'll get everything we need here. -Um, JP…

This is not exactly what I had in mind.

Of course, it is.

It's perfect.

Good morning, ma'am.

-I take it you work on commission. -Yes, sir.

Wonderful.

Today's your lucky day. I'm buying. She's paying.

And you, just keep the clothes coming.

What style did you have in mind?

Anything that says, "I'm rich, on holiday and a proctologist".

Thank you.

What for?

It really means a lot to me.

There's a lot at stake.

Wow, what a beautiful dress.

Why don't you buy it?

I'll be bankrupt.

In any case, money's not everything.

Really?

So, you would never marry a rich man one day?

I don't think so.

I'm not big on spending money.

Unlike you, of course.

The Hawaiian shirt. Really?

Yes. I don't know how it got mixed up with my shopping?

You are so childish.

What's wrong with her?

Three things:

She's stressed, Vrede en Lust Wine Estate

and the actual problem, she knows nothing about wine.

Well, all you have to know is that wine is for drinking.

No!

What are you saying?

I've been using it to water my plants.

Ouch. Pain.

An iron has a better sense of taste than I do.

You're exaggerating.

No, really. Her taste buds suck snot in the moonlight.

-Snot… -Snot…

It's easy.

Smell the wine, taste it, then comment on it.

I can't comment if I don't know anything.

Just leave me alone.

Just use pretentious, wine-tasting talk.

Words like 'earthy', or…

An aroma of farm fragrances.

Keep quiet, you.

Relax.

Wines either have an overtone or an undertone.

Something like, 'fruity'.

Or apples.

Oh yes and anything with berries.

A great description that never fails is something like…

Banana.

And another old favourite is…

Condensed milk.

You can't be serious.

As serious as a bladder infection.

Relax. I'm sure we won't be tasting wine immediately.

Good afternoon.

You're just in time for the wine tasting.

You were saying?

This house is fantastic.

Welcome to Vrede en Lust.

Go straight through.

-A beautiful, deep purple… -Ja…

-With a strong aroma of berries. -Berries…

Miss Snyman volunteered to be the first to taste my flagship wine, 'Boet Erasmus'.

It's a beautiful, deep purple.

With a strong aroma of berries.

Dominant cabernet sauvignon fragrances and cedar on the nose.

It's very therapeutic to make noises when you air the wine.

A full, fruity taste with a sparkling freshness

and the after-taste is intense and

lingers.

Le Magnifique!

Hey, it's bloody nice!

Miss…

That's the first believable thing you've said,

that it tastes good.

Wine tasting is about good, common sense.

Anything to add, Miss Van Jaarsveld?

Yes, yes.

Everything you say.

I mean, what do you have to say about the wine?

Um…

I taste an overtone of…

Pencil shavings

and an aroma of farm fragrances.

And a definite undertone of…

Condensed milk.

Condensed milk?

My 'Boet Erasmus' tastes like…

Condensed milk?

Andries, why wait till Sunday?

She's already ruined her presentation.

Andries…

This is an elegant, Bordeaux-style blend.

So, Jaci isn't completely wrong when she smells pencil shavings.

And the condensed milk…

Is probably just her common sense speaking.

Every person makes their own taste associations.

However bizarre it may seem.

Well then, put on something comfortable and we can go and explore the farm.

Yes!

I'm so glad you were happy with the model.

Photoshoot.

Yes.

Yes, a Greek god.

I'll let Fernando know. Thanks.

The manor house is more than 300 years old.

It's very cute.

Just like you, my little dove.

It's absolutely…

Majestic.

Beyond majestic.

Why white roses and not red ones?

White roses always remind me of death.

There's a grave among the roses.

Oh. Who died?

My wife.

Shame.

I feel your pain.

My dog was run over last week.

Chadrie, it's not the same.

What?

Pain is pain.

I planted these roses in hon our of my wife.

This is where I asked her to marry me.

Oh…

Bees.

We have to go. I'm scared they'll bite me.

If you don't bother them, they won't bother you.

-They're bees. -Chadrie, keep quiet.

I think it's very romantic.

And without romance, a marriage is empty.

That's right, miss.

And romance must be tested.

Come with me.

When are you two getting married?

-Um… Probably… Almost… -Well, in almost two…

Soon.

Well then, see this as my wedding gift to you.

Our wedding gift is a footpath?

Exactly.

But it's not just any footpath.

This is 'The Lover's Lane'.

Oh, like a 'Lover's Lane'?

Yes!

It's tradition for a soon-to-be-married couple to walk the path.

Chadrie and I will walk it anytime, Sir.

A couple of days ago you told me you've been dating for four years.

Yes.

So when are you getting married?

You need to pull up your socks, son.

We'll wait for you at the farmhouse.

And remember, Jaci…

Love must be tested.

Come, everyone.

And now?

Now we walk 'The Lover's Lane'.

I think you mean 'The Loser's Lane'.

Come on. How hard can it be?

Excuse me! Who's the one in high-heeled shoes?

Aren't you even gonna piggyback me or something?

No, you look kinda heavy.

Wait, man.

-Wait! -Stop moaning and enjoy the view.

These shoes are flippin' uncomfortable, okay?

So take them off!

Fine.

Ouch.

What now?

There are thorns.

Okay.

I'll piggyback you.

Thanks.

I was one of those strange kids.

Grew up very lonely.

I always had invisible friends.

Until I started working at MOJO.

Those people are like my family.

Family?

-Can't say I share the same sentiment. -Huh?

-Nothing, you said something about MOJO? -Oh yes.

So I won't allow 'The Jackal' to ruin my family and breakup MOJO.

Oh yes. That evil troll that eats kids for breakfast

-and beats homeless people to death. -Hey, not bad.

Have you ever thought that maybe these.

Amalgamated people are just doing their jobs?

How dare you defend them?

They destroy businesses, lives.

All I'm trying to say is, every story has two sides.

Maybe this 'Jackal' guy has worked just as hard to get where he is.

All his side says is, "I want it all and I want it now."

You're too emotional about this.

Too emotional?

What the hell was that?

Stand still. Keep quiet.

I can't keep quiet, I'm a girl.

Shhh!

It's only a pig.

-Make yourself bigger than the pig! -What?

Make yourself bigger than the pig!

I am bigger than the pig!

Bigger! Taller! You'll scare him off!

It's not working!

Can pigs swim?

I don't think so.

Shoo!

Shoo!

Go home!

What was that again?

Make yourself bigger than the pig!

Not so funny when it happens to you, hey?

I thought you said pigs can't swim?

I was wrong!

-Okay, climb! Up up up! -I'm trying!

Stop it!

Shoo!

Go home, pig.

Shoo! Shoo!

What?

It's a pig. He's not gonna listen to you.

If I were you, I'd keep quiet. Clearly, you don't know anything about pigs.

Well, I'm sorry I'm not a pig-expert.

Well…

Looks like the footpath was more interesting than they thought.

If I know my colleague, he's shown her a thing or two by now.

Do you think so?

Never underestimate a model.

A model?

A model doctor, silly.

We're never gonna get out of this tree.

It's not that bad.

If you live in my body it is. I'm freezing.

I can hold you, if you want.

Only a model would think a girl is dumb enough to fall for that old line.

Fine. Freeze then.

I think we found the most loyal pig in the world.

Could be worse.

How?

If pigs could also climb trees?

Woah.

Are you a little warmer now that the dumb model is holding you?

Yes. Thank you.

So, Dr JP…

Why don't you share my sentiments about family?

I didn't think you heard that.

Bionic ears.

Okay.

Basically, my dad built up a huge company

and my step-mom

took all the money after he died.

I had to start from scratch.

I'm sorry.

That's how you get to know yourself.

Through tough times.

The last time I was chased by a pig was…

Well, never.

Really?

Unless you include the people I work with.

Always rushing around, flying, difficult people, meetings.

What types of meetings do models have?

Uh, you know…

Photographers and so on…

Can we try your phone again?

Maybe not.

Hang on…

Where's the pig?

I think it left.

Why didn't you say so?

So I reckon that Markus guy has his eye on you.

Oh. What gives you that idea?

The way he looks at you.

Shame, Chadrie must be a real moron to date him.

And how does that make her a moron?

Any woman who dates him needs her head examined.

If there is anything to examine.

Oh. So just 'cause I…

Just because Chadrie and Markus…

Are you saying she's dumb?

Yes, and…

Emotionally empty and numb.

Oh, so now I'm numb.

What?

I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about that egocentric idiot, Markus

and pumpkin head Chadrie.

Typical model.

Criticising everyone that's not as obviously perfect as he is.

What's going on?

Mr. Big-mouth-wine-fundi who's so full of himself he could burst.

Where you going? I thought you were scared of the pig.

I'd rather take my chances with the pig than with you!

What did I do?

Men!

One couple is in the veld.

One couple is in bed, I believe.

And we're sitting here like grandma and grandpa.

Well, slow down with the 'grandpa' bit.

It's dark already. Where are they?

Should we go look for them?

Hertjie, it's the Cape, not Gauteng.

A lawyer is always prepared for the worst.

A lawyer? What do you mean?

Something my dad always said.

Oh.

Girlfriend!

I've got wine!

What happened to you?

The 'Lover's Lane' included an aggressive pig,

a dam, a tree and an insensitive jerk.

Insensitive?

I carried you.

Carried you? I want details.

Later. I'm freezing.

Bubble bath for you.

I'm dying to hear this story.

The pig.

Whoa, he might be insensitive but to call him a pig, that's a little…

No, no.

Yes. You're all wet, hey?

Bella, where were you today? Look at you.

Is that the aggressive pig?

That pig has a split personality.

That's a good pig.

That woman is mad.

Irrational and stubborn.

I've never seen you go on about a woman like this before.

I've never been so mad at one before.

She could drive mosquitoes to suicide.

Hey, let's patent her.

I hate mosquitoes.

Hertjie, I'm being serious.

Me too, okay. Relax.

Remember why we're here.

To put MOJO in our pockets.

Did you know…

Pigs can swim?

I hired the worst, most irritating fiancé on the planet

and I have to pay him too.

And how dare he insinuate Chadrie is a moron just because she's dating Markus?

Well, she only has two brain cells

and the one is watching the other one trying to think.

Are you still in love with Markus?

No.

Maybe… I…

It's just weird to see him with Chadrie.

Okay.

You better start focusing on two things:

Your presentation and how fabulous this room is.

Crazy about it! And when last did we share a bed?

-Yay! -Yay!

Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon?

I'm the big spoon.

Karla, please pass me a towel.

Thanks.

-What are you doing here?! -What are you doing here?!

-It's our bathroom! -It's our bathroom!

Out!

Out! Out!

Was I holding you?

Yes.

We never speak about this again.

How funny was last night?

We are never speaking about it again.

Good morning, girls.

Are you ready for the day?

Morning. Yes, thanks.

And the safari outfit?

This is a farm, right?

Well, sort of.

So, where are all the wild animals?

No wild animals. Just wine.

And grapes.

Oh.

Like wild grapes.

My dove.

Wild animals?

Wild grapes?

JP's not that far off about her.

Zip it. Not a positive word about him.

No, I want a big spoon.

Morning!

Glad to see you're all eventually up.

Friends and future colleagues.

Eat well and eat a lot.

After breakfast, we're off to pick grapes.

Um… about last night…

Don't worry. I won't tell anybody you've got beautiful…

Shoulders.

You scream like a girl.

Only if I get a big fright.

This is where it all begins.

The grapes are hand-picked.

Legend has it that,

whoever picks the most grapes of the late harvest

will be the most fertile

or the most prosperous.

Does trosse have one 's' or two?

Two. Otherwise it's trose.

-What is trose? -Chadrie, please keep quiet.

So…

To involve you in the wine-making process,

you're invited to pick some grapes.

-Yes! -Grab a basket.

Our engagement contract didn't mention manual lab our.

Just hold the basket, I'll pick.

Okay, teams. Let the great grape picking begin.

Go go go!

Did you see that?

-Pick from a different row. -But this is my row.

It's not a competition.

Now it is.

Pick pick pick!

Pick, Chadrie! Pick! That's it. Come on! Come on!

I want the grapes, not the tree. Come on!

I want that bunch. That's it.

-Come on. Faster! -Okay okay.

Pick pick pick!

Faster Chadrie. We must pick more than them.

But I thought he was Jaci's fiancé?

Susan, tell Fernando I need to see him urgently.

Wow, that was a lot of fun.

I can see that.

Wait for me.

Looks like we won. We have the most grapes.

-You really took the task seriously. -Where's Markie Warkie?

Good day for grape picking.

Well done, my dove.

Wow… the most grapes.

Well, you're clearly the most fertile couple here.

-Yes! -Yes!

Losers.

And now for the second phase, the best part of it all.

The pressing of the wine.

Follow me.

Come, Stertjie.

Sorry, bud.

Jaci…

When can we have a chat?

Usually, we separate the grapes from the stems but…

With this wine…

I prefer to use the entire bunch for good fermentation.

So…

Who's in the mood for pressing?

Chadrie and I are ready for the challenge.

You guys?

I'm already taking my shoes off, pal.

Hey, I like your new tactic.

This idiot has pushed me far enough.

I sort of have a bit of athlete's foot.

You know…

Foot fungi.

Please remove madame's shoes.

Okay.

Let's see who can press the most juice in what, five minutes?

I'm in.

-Me too. -Me too.

Okay then.

Let the pressing begin.

Stomp Chadrie! Stomp! Quicker! Stomp!

Stomp Chadrie! Stomp!

Are you okay?

Hey, we can press more grapes like that.

A butt-press!

Stomp, Chadrie, stomp!

Stomp! Faster!

Five minutes.

Let's see who pressed the most juice.

Hey, looks like we're gonna win.

No, looks like they're gonna win.

Yes! Yes…

Loser! What do you have to say now, smart ass?

Markus?

Heh?

Remember this moment.

Bee! There's a bee and it…

It zooms.

Of course it zooms. It's not gonna meow.

Here you go. Dry yourselves.

Next stop is the cellar.

That looked like such fun.

Yes.

I was convinced you were gonna win.

Maybe winning isn't everything.

The damn thing bit me on my lip.

I'm allergic to bees.

Does anybody have a BIC pen?

What?

To punch a hole in my throat. For air.

Where did you hear that?

I saw it on Binnelanders, okay?

Are you mad?

Well, then someone has to suck it out.

Chadrie that's… Who ah!

Baby, I've never heard of anyone having to suck the poison out.

Well, Markus, it's a medical fact.

Happens often.

Why don't you do it then, doctor JP?

I specialise from the neck down.

Help me!

It bit me again.

Sting Chadrie, sting. Bees don't bite.

On my butt.

Okay, where's that BIC pen?

Relax everyone. There's anti-histamine in the house.

Go ask Maria in the kitchen.

Surely I don't have to go with? I also want to see the cellar.

-Markie Warkie… -Son…

The wine cellar will always be there, but your loved ones won't.

Go.

I don't wanna die like this.

Don't worry, my dove.

Weeds don't die easily.

Would you really have put a pen through her throat?

Rather that than sucking her backside.

The cellar was renovated in 2002

and houses all our French oak barrels.

This wine comes from a very special harvest.

1998.

There's only one case of this wine left.

A year when everything worked out perfectly.

Everything but. It's the year my wife died.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Don't be.

-Is that her? -Yes.

You must miss her terribly.

Time teaches us that death is a part of life.

A lot of pain, but even more happiness.

The right blend of dark and light that led to this…

This perfect Merlot.

Okay then.

Come, lunch is waiting.

Jaci…

Yes?

Before we go…

Jaci…

What?

There's…

There's…

There's a piece of grape in your hair.

Lovey!

This body is definitely not one of my models.

I don't know this clutch bag.

He was introduced to me as JP, Jaci's fiancé.

I can't get hold of Jaci.

Phone the farm. Leave a message.

I must speak to her urgently.

I smell a snake in the grass.

A bloody sexy snake if you ask me.

He can bite me anytime.

And then all he did was take a piece of grape out of my hair.

No.

What? Did you think he was gonna kiss you?

No!

He was just being cute, that's all.

Jaci, you're paying that piece of meat to be your fiancé.

I know.

Rather focus on your presentation. You still don't have an angle.

The point is, JP's not as dull as I thought.

That's all.

Oh boy…

Before you think he's your knight in shining armour remember what he really is.

A retard in tinfoil.

I'm impressed that you lost both competitions.

Yes. It wasn't on purpose.

Well, it made Markus and Chadrie look good, that's all that matters.

Yes,

the day didn't turn out too badly.

What?

You've been smiling non-stop since we got back.

No, I haven't.

Yes, you have.

Girlfriend…

I'm not the one with a pink belt in ballet.

I'm still gonna get you for that one.

I really like Karla and then you go and make me… gay.

Miss Van Jaarsveld, I have a message for you.

Thank you.

It's Denise. She wants me to phone her immediately about my model fiancé.

Oh hell. She probably saw the photos.

I can't phone her now. She'll have to wait and trust me.

If she catches us out…

You're doing it again.

What?

You're falling in love with her.

I've never seen you like this. Where's 'The Jackal'? The workhorse?

Hertjie, do you realise I've had more fun over the last few days by…

Pretending to be someone I'm not.

And?

And yes…

I like Jaci.

Okay.

That's it.

Now you listen to me.

You're not going to dinner tonight.

You're gonna set up a strategic plan to make sure MOJO doesn't win this contract.

Do we understand each other?

Okay.

What if you buy MOJO out first and then ask Jaci out on a date?

She'll hate me.

That's her choice.

Okay.

Okay.

Will you tell them I'm cancelling dinner?

Of course.

Susan, any news?

Nothing. And I've left a bunch of messages.

I can't wait any longer. Book me a ticket to Cape Town first thing tomorrow.

Can you pick me up here?

No problem.

Okay, the airport says the first available flight from Joburg only lands at ten.

By that time we'll be done with the presentation.

At least I'm not lying about my broken phone.

It's still wet from yesterday's dam incident.

I'm too scared to switch mine on.

Another message.

Ladies.

Uh, sorry to disturb you.

JP won't be joining us for dinner.

Why not? Is something wrong?

He's… got heartburn…

Sunburn… heart… sunstroke.

Sunstroke?

From the grape picking.

Oh.

Give him this lotion. It's for the… sun… burn.

Thanks.

Later.

Hey.

Forget about him.

Rather worry about Denise.

Hey. Everything's sorted.

Jaci looked very disappointed that you're not joining us for dinner.

Really?

-And this? -You have sunstroke.

Ah.

Rub it on in any case.

Apparently, it's very good for your skin.

Oh really, Hertjie? How camp of you.

-JP. -JP.

Excuse me.

You look breathtaking.

Thanks.

-Uh. Where's Chadrie? Is she okay? -Uh…

She preferred to stay in the room.

Her upper lip is…

Well, let's just say, she'll never need collagen again.

Come sit.

Please.

So…

I've been thinking of ways you can pay me back for the whole 'gay stylist' fiasco.

Firstly…

You're gonna explain everything to Karla.

I'm sorry about this afternoon. I was an idiot.

Thing is, my life is just so empty without you.

I'm not myself anymore, I…

Will you ever be able to forgive me?

Markus, I already have.

Then give me one more chance.

I'll show you.

I'm still the old Markus. I'm your Markus.

Could you?

I insist that the first dance is mine.

And last but not least,

you're gonna babysit my firstborn until he can wipe himself.

So, any thoughts?

JP?

Hertjie? Hertjie, dance with me.

Huh?

Dance with me. I'll even lead if I have to.

I can dance.

So gay.

Wait. Stop!

That doesn't mean you're not a good dance partner.

May I?

As long as you don't call me Tertjie, Vlerkie or Stertjie.

Okay then.

I thought you had sunstroke.

Not anymore.

You recover quickly.

I do a lot of things quickly.

Do you remember the Lover's Lane?

That's when you stole my heart.

I just had a brilliant idea for my presentation and it's all thanks to you.

What?

Thank you.

You're not a retard in tinfoil after all.

First time I've ever seen a girl run away after you kissed her.

She said I just gave her a brilliant idea for her presentation.

-How? -I don't know. I just kissed her.

I think she's gonna get that contract.

We're gonna lose all that money.

Come on.

You don't really care anymore.

Otherwise, you wouldn't have kissed her.

I can still follow your plan. I buy MOJO and then date her afterwards.

Look.

I'd be a bad friend if I didn't admit

that I've never seen you like this about a woman before.

There's a lot of businesses out there.

But how many Jacis?

Go.

Go help her with her presentation if you must.

Just make sure you kiss enough in the process.

Okay.

Okay.

-But I'm still 'The Jackal'. -You're still 'The Jackal'.

Markus?

Jaci, we have to talk.

Now's not really a good time for me.

Chadrie and I broke up.

When I saw you tonight…

Dancing with JP.

I'm still in love with you.

Okay…

This whole weekend reminded me…

Of everything I'm missing in a life without you.

Jaci…

Jaci…

We were engaged for four years.

Markus.

Markus. Markus, no.

No!

What? What's wrong?

What part of 'no' don't you understand?

Out! Out!

Out!

But I'm still in love with you!

No, you're in love with yourself and I'm in love with…

With someone else.

Susan, pass me those files and the Alpha Pharm photos next to them.

Of course.

Wait a second.

Why is the guy from Amalgamated Media the model for the new pill launch?

-What? -This guy.

He walked in here the other day

and said he's from Amalgamated Media and that he wanted to see you.

No.

I have to get to Franschhoek immediately. This guy is 'The Jackal'.

See if you can get an earlier flight. Try anything.

Charter a plane if you have to.

Are you coming? I'll drive. You phone.

I need a flight to Cape Town.

Thank you.

Jaci, you look beautiful.

Thanks. It was a gift.

You haven't seen JP anywhere, have you?

No, not yet.

And I haven't seen Hertjie either.

How's your presentation looking?

Wait and see.

-Thick and thin, hey? -Thick and thin.

Move!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Vrede en Lust Wine Estate.

As you all know,

we're here to see which of the representatives from MOJO and Synergy

will be the best candidate for the Vrede en Lust contract.

I'm pleased to introduce…

Markus Rossouw and Jaci van Jaarsveld.

Jaci, the floor is yours.

Vision, love and passion.

The three pillars on which Vrede en Lust cultivates their precious wines.

But there's a fourth pillar.

Trust.

A tradition of trust has been built up here over hundreds of years.

Trust in nature,

-Trust in hard work… -Trust?

-JP… -This will only take a minute.

Stop him.

We all got to know Jaci as a woman of high values this weekend.

Someone who values integrity and loyalty.

But it was all a lie.

Jaci hired me to be her fiancé for the week.

Andries, this woman is not interested in the values of your estate

and especially not, trust.

She's a…

Cold…

Unscrupulous…

Fortune seeker.

Who… well…

Will do anything to get this contract.

JP Basson from Amalgamated Media.

Hertjie Greyling, my lawyer.

His team will come and see you tomorrow.

Wait, so Hertjie isn't your stylist anymore?

Good day.

Hey…

Thanks, pal. This contract is so mine.

-Markus… -Yes?

JP?

JP!

JP!

JP, what's going on? Who are you?

You and your ex-fiancé deserve each other.

-What? -I hope you're happy together.

This is a misunderstanding! I can explain!

I…

I thought JP was a rectum doctor.

I thought he was a model.

I thought he was Jaci's fiancé.

I'm crazy about him.

Jaci.

Denise, I…

I'm so sorry. It's all my fault.

What?

MOJO. I don't know what to say. I feel terrible.

-Jaci… -I was so sure everything would work out.

And it did.

What?

JP did buy us out, but MOJO is still MOJO.

We still have our own voice.

Thanks to him, we're moving into bigger offices.

But, I…

-I don't understand. -And…

Fasten your seat belt…

There's more good news.

-Yes? -I got a call from Andries.

He wants you on a plane to Bordeaux next week

to handle the international marketing of his new wine.

But I was so certain we lost the contract.

I showed him your presentation.

Your idea to call Vrede en Lust's new flagship wine, Lover's Lane,

convinced him.

What now?

Well, tonight's launch at Rand lords is still happening.

Oh, the purple pill.

Move it, Karla's already preparing everything.

Did JP say anything else?

Just that he's planning on expanding MOJO.

He humiliated me in front of everybody.

He saved MOJO.

Hi, Denise. Bye, Denise.

Heavens girl! I thought you'd started growing roots in your flat.

I can't believe JP saved us.

You better thank him and explain about Markus.

Yes, but he thinks I'm a liar.

A liar that fools around.

Well, he didn't tell you he's 'The Jackal', so in my eyes you're quits.

-Maybe I should just leave everything. -Oh, okay.

Do you think so?

No! Hello! Wake up!

You're crazy about him.

Go to him and tell him that.

-Okay? -Okay.

-Okay! -Okay!

And take this with!

Okay!

Hi.

Yes?

Do you have a moment?

No. Please send an e-mail.

Wait.

We have to talk about the weekend.

Okay.

Why did you kiss Markus?

I didn't kiss Markus. He kissed me

and I made it very clear that I'm not interested.

So clear that his manhood probably still needs an ice pack.

I'm really busy.

Look…

I'm just a girl who met someone through a misunderstanding and…

I would really like to see you again.

Hearing from you would work too?

Sign language if necessary.

Or we can just climb trees every now and then and run away from aggressive pigs.

JP…

Why else do you think I'm here?

I'm assuming the Vrede en Lust contract.

I don't care about the contract anymore.

Forget about the contract. I care about you. I…

I'm in love with you.

MOJO's acquisition was purely a business decision.

The weekend…

Was a mistake.

If you'll excuse me please.

Apologies for the interruption.

That's fine. Speak to you next week.

-Very well. -Good luck.

-Goodbye. -Goodbye, take care.

I just passed Jaci.

-Was she here? -Yes.

And this?

She left it here.

-Aren't you gonna open it? -No.

Okay. I'll open it.

I will.

Lover's Lane.

Lover's Lane.

She used you.

To think you'd fall for such sentimentalism.

Stupid flooze…

Hey! Watch it.

What? It's obvious she was just after your money.

No.

No, she wasn't.

All she wanted to do was save her colleagues.

She was so unselfish it was almost irritating.

I've made a huge mistake, right?

You said it, not me.

Keys.

Karla, please book me a ticket to Bordeaux for tonight.

Just do it. I'll explain later.

Sorry, lady.

Take your time.

-Go go go! -Okay.

Come! Come on!

Come on!

Sorry, Denise!

She's not here.

Where is she?

At Rand lords for the Alpha Pharm launch.

We've been clamped!

It wasn't even a minute!

Hey, aren't you the hunky model that helped Jaci?

Hey, can we please borrow your bike?

No girlfriend, I'm the only queen who rides this Big Boy.

Listen, I have to get to Jaci very urgently, please.

Anything for Jaci.

Don't be scared. Hold on tight.

A little tighter.

Thanks, Fernando. We'll take it from here.

No way, girl. I was born to be an entourage.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the launch of a product that men have been waiting for.

That women all over the world have been waiting for.

Let's raise a glass of champagne to a fantastic concept

and the hope that many marriages will be even happier after this.

And this?

Ladies and gentlemen a toast to…

Honesty.

JP.

Now's really not the time.

No, Jaci, it is. Listen…

I'm hard-headed and selfish

and usually it gets me what I want.

But this time I nearly lost the thing I need the most.

You.

-Ladies and gentlemen… -Jaci…

I'm crazy about you.

And yes, I want to see you again.

And hear you and climb trees with you

and run away from pigs with you.

And like Andries' wine…

I want to share the sunlight and shadows of life with you.

The bitter and the sweet.

Especially the sweet.

Go, Jaci!

So not gay.

Yay!

This new pill is gonna change my life.

Come here, young man.

WHEN LOVE JUST ISN'T ENOUGH

Do you promise, before witnesses here,

that you will, at all times, love and cherish

this person, as your lawful wife.

Yes.

And do you promise, before witnesses here,

that you will, at all times,

love and cherish this person, as your lawful husband.

Yes.

Congratulations. You may kiss your bride.