Original subtitles

Executing chord change.

Three, two... Okay, technically your fingers are doing the right

things, but you've got to give me some oomph.

Oh, I am not ready for oomph.

Summer, we've been practicing every morning for weeks to surprise the class.

It's oomphing time!

But I can't play for them until I've reached a respectable skill level.

Preferably genius, but I'd settle for American Treasure.

Guitar playing's about raw emotion.

The trick is turning your brain off.

Which I'm kind of an expert at.

Guitars, Mr. Finn.

Oh, uh, yeah.

Hit me with the windmill like Pete Townsend.

Well... Okay, okay. Feet firmly planted.

Where is my hair on the...

Guys, hold up. I want to show you something.

Boom. Matching best friend phone cases.

Summer's been saving for your new phone. This picture captures the very moment

Summer and I decided to be best friends forever.

What was so special about that moment?

We were stuck together with gum.

We also both got life.

Best friends!

What a beautiful story.

Guys, let's do this.

No.

Oh, everybody, I've got big news.

Oh, Mr.

Finn, Summer's touching your favorite guitar.

It's okay, Zach.

She has my permission.

But I submitted a formal written request six months ago.

You didn't pass the background check.

I've been working on the classic Queen song about best friends with my best

friend. It's called You're My Best Friend.

I'm the best friend.

Ooh.

She's gone, Mr. Finn.

Take me!

I feel really bad about Mr. Finn's guitar.

He forgave you.

After he gave that beautiful speech at the funeral.

It's a bummer he had to use all your phone money to replace it. Well, it was

right thing to do.

But I can't believe guitars cost as much as phones. They don't even have

cameras. I can't believe you smashed your guitar.

That's like the second coolest thing a musician can do.

What's the coolest?

Shirtless drum solo, duh.

Hey, look. That guy brought his piano to the mall.

He didn't bring it. He works here.

Are you telling me you can get a job playing sanitized versions of

top hit on a piano at the mall next to the restroom?

Later, losers.

He's an interesting guy.

Excuse me, maestro.

kid, I don't take requests.

Unless I hear a clink in the tip jar. And I know what a thumbtack sounds like.

My name's Lauren. I play piano, and I need you to tell me how you got the

coolest job on the planet.

You really think being a mall piano player is cool? Are you kidding?

Performing for dozens of people while sitting ten feet from a potato stand?

Dream job!

Well, it's not easy.

You have to complete a piano player apprenticeship.

Great! What should I do first?

Prep a song list. Organize your sheet music. Give me a personal pizza.

Pepperoni, jalapenos, and an orange soda.

Not from the pizza place.

From the Mongolian barbecue place on the third floor.

They have the best eyes.

On it.

I was so close.

Come on. I want to go gawk at the skateboard display.

This is the sweet deck I'm dreaming of buying.

I am getting that phone.

I am tired of using a landline like an animal.

But you don't have any money. I know, which is why I'm going to get an after

-school job.

And look who's hiring.

That Totally Cute store.

Which one?

Totally Cute. No, which store?

I'm applying for the Totally Cute job.

Working where? I'm not a mind reader.

Totally Cute.

Okay, at the job you're getting, you'd get a paycheck, right?

Right. Describe to me what that paycheck looks like. Totally Cute.

I know it's Totally Cute. What's the name of the store?

Totally...

In all my years, I've never seen such a smoldering look.

He gets like that when he's lost something he loves.

My nutty fudge bomb.

Such intensity.

Joanne, Sinclair St.

James modeling agent.

Yes, that one.

I must have you as a client.

Do I get a card or should I just share his?

Send me your portfolio as soon as possible.

I can smolder too. I'm just having a really good day.

What is that?

Coconut lime parfait.

The store's signature scent.

Isn't it delicious?

It makes my eyes burn.

I know. They call it the burn of beauty.

There's Cricket, the assistant manager.

You know how everyone's wearing socks on their hands?

No. She started that.

her for a job. Quick, give me your sock. What?

Excuse me, I'm Summer.

Ew, that's a feed sock?

Oh, I was just wondering if I could apply for the sales position.

You can, but let's not waste both of our time.

You don't really have the right look.

original. But your friend with her one sock look? Now that is bold.

That makes no sense.

No, this makes no sense.

Listen, cockroach, nobody insults my friend.

Oh, I love your sass. You know, the store could use a little edge. I don't

suppose you need a job.

Hire Summer. She actually wants to work at this freak show. I do want to work at

this freak show.

You would be perfect.

Not to mention the money is straight good.

I'm sure there's something a girl like you could spend all that money on.

Non! Oh, that's French for no.

Say yes, Tamika.

If I can't have the job, I want my best friend to get it.

Are you sure?

I guess there is something I've been wanting to buy.

I'll take the job.

Perf. You start tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

I can't believe I got turned down by every store in the mall.

Now I'll never get a phone.

I couldn't help but overhear you because I was totally...

Especially if your dream is to wear a burlap sack and smell like potato juice.

You really like it, huh?

Like it?

I love it. Check out this fun accent rope.

Huh.

Summer Hathaway.

Assistant potato masher.

A quiet dignity in that.

Especially if I don't tell anyone.

What do you think?

I say it's perfect.

I'll be right next door. We can take our lunch break together.

Tomorrow's on me.

Two professional women have... Having lunch?

I'll take it. Great.

Do you happen to know your potato sack size?

Never mind.

We'll go with medium roughness.

Just cut a head hole and you're all set.

OMG, Tamik. When did you decide to start wearing lip gloss?

The second they held me down and put it on me.

Sorry,

Thumb. I'm fine. Just go -go to the fro -yo.

spying again.

You know what always cheers me up?

A warm potato juice!

question is that okay

that was

fun now put me back trust me this will help you fail oh my gosh i love

your hair i want to look just like you why i look horrible you don't want this

the more you're negative about it the more i want it i'll pay anything you

born for this

ugly dress.

You should buy this ugly jacket to cover it up.

Thank you. Can you recommend an ugly belt?

Yeah, they're all ugly. Why don't you wear three? It'll look extra stupid.

I love it.

Super. Fantastic.

Show me angry.

Show and focus more on my face.

Trust me.

This is the moneymaker.

All right.

Show me sad.

Show me curious.

Show me, I've eaten three fudge pops, so I'm not afraid to eat a fourth.

Fudge pops?

I'm on it.

Mr. Finn, you're ruining Freddy's shot.

Am I? Or is Freddy ruining my shot?

Definitely the first one.

You know, somebody once told me I could have been a model.

Was that the same person who said you'd be a rock star?

Yeah.

You're at the beach. The wind is in your hair.

There's sand in your shorts. A seagull attacks you.

Mr. Finn!

What? It's the public beach. I have every right to be here.

Darn these seagulls!

Sunset over Paris red lipstick.

Midnight sparkle eyeshadow.

Totally cute. Couldn't make you look this pretty.

Here you go, Lawrence.

Can I have a potato that doesn't look like my mom?

Less makeup, more bacon bits. Hurry. My future as a famous mall piano player

depends on it.

Hey, Audrey.

Real talk for a second?

Yeah. It is weird that you put makeup on a potato.

No. No, I had the nightmare where it was raining bacon bits again, and then I

realized my heart just isn't in the potato business.

You're still upset about the totally cute job, huh?

Yeah. If it is your dream job...

Then go for it. Your sack will always be here waiting for you. Aw, thank you,

Spudfud. I am wearing an adorable outfit underneath this uniform. When I walk

into Totally Cute and pull the sack off, it's guaranteed to wipe that mean smirk

off Cricket's stupid face.

Gosh, I hope she likes me.

Win this.

Win this for all the potato people.

You are Dynamite Lady.

Three more seconds. and you get a bonus.

A bonus?

Oh, that's perfect.

I can quit this job even sooner.

Oh, Mika, your sass is off the charts.

I'm back.

We have a code brown.

Mika, get rid of her.

But she's my friend.

Fix it or say au revoir to your bonus.

Oh, that's French. I know what it is.

I can't talk to Mika. You can't be in here.

It's your policy.

I'll lose my bonus, and I need it for something special.

Go back to your farm!

This walking French fry giving you trouble, Mika?

I have the situation under control.

Situation? Now I'm a situation?

I love you, girl.

Security!

I am not leaving until you see her.

cheese and bacon off you.

Stop painting me!

You like my portfolio?

For sure.

Okay, thanks.

Dude, I booked my first gig.

It shoots tomorrow.

You realize what this means, right?

Hot tub, limo, limos with hot tubs.

Freddy Huerta.

Tell a manager to Freddy Huerta, male model.

Always at your side, making sure your hair is on point. Don't touch my hair.

Making sure no one touches your hair.

I asked for curly fries.

These are waving at Beth.

You fix my fries or you're out.

Yes, maestro.

Hey, Lorne. Hey, Mr. Vint. Wait, whoa, whoa.

I thought you were training to be a mall piano player.

Oh, I am. By buying this guy food?

No, the training's much more in -depth than that. I also get his dry cleaning

and orthopedic socks.

Well, I hope it's a paid internship.

Oh, it is. I pay him a lot.

Some. About yesterday.

Yesterday?

What? That you think you're better than everyone else just because you work at

Totally Cute?

I'm sorry, but you said I should take the job. I'm just doing it for the

Oh, well, I'm glad our friendship is for sale.

I wanted the money so I could... So you could have...

I know, dingus.

I hear you're taking advantage of my pal, Lawrence.

Maybe I am.

I am.

And there's nothing you can do about it.

Oh, yeah?

Either you stop playing and go to the ATM right now and repay Lawrence in

or I'm grabbing your phone and calling your mom and telling her all about your

little piano stand.

And stop playing mid -song? Clearly you're no musician.

Oh, I'm a musician, all right.

Which means I know all about disappointing parents.

Fine, I'll do it.

Mom?

Uh -oh. Hair fight.

Someone needs to do something about this.

I thought it was an emergency.

I have to use the piano.

Oh.

He's gone.

Which means the piano is all yours.

But we're splitting the price.

Mr. Finn, Tamika and Summer are in a huge fight.

There's only one thing that can help them right now.

Oh, no.

You didn't happen to grab any ketchup, did you?

What's Lawrence doing?

Embarrassing himself.

He thinks he's going to repair our broken friendship with our songs.

Does he think we're babies?

Like we're going to stop fighting because he's playing a song about how

wonderful and magical our friendship is.

Lame.

Stupid Lauren.

I'm having an easy feeling.

I missed you so much. I'm sorry.

No, you don't have to be sorry.

I'm sorry.

You have every right to work at Totally Cute. I don't want to.

I was only working there so I could buy you this.

thing he wanted.

Friendship's more important than skate thingies.

Meeks, this is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me.

Mika, what did I tell you about touching potato people?

You said you'd fire me.

But you know what? I'll save you the trouble. I quit.

What? No, people don't. You can't.

Oh, you there, potato person.

That job you wanted, it's yours, assuming you agree to change everything

yourself. I would never work for a store that treats their employees like

garbage. Oh, and BT dubs, that blouse is all wrong for your skin tone.

Oh, you potato people are disgusting.

Hey.

Just talking to you makes me want to hose myself down.

Well, if you feel that strongly about it.

any minute now. Look, I wanted to let you know that no matter how famous I

I'll always try to remember your name.

It's Jack, right?

You're so funny.

It's Zach.

I'm so excited I could just... I could just...