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1
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,835
- I've updated our operating
systems, set up a firewall,
2
00:00:12,842 --> 00:00:14,542
and backed up the systems
to the cloud.
3
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,014
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
4
00:00:16,018 --> 00:00:19,653
And will I still be able
to upload videos of my cat?
5
00:00:19,662 --> 00:00:22,229
- Yep, straight from your phone.
6
00:00:22,235 --> 00:00:26,371
- That is why I made you
the president of the AV Club.
7
00:00:26,381 --> 00:00:27,947
It's like having
my own personal I.T. guy.
8
00:00:27,952 --> 00:00:30,352
Only I get to pay you
in extra bathroom passes.
9
00:00:31,259 --> 00:00:34,395
- Those things are like gold.
10
00:00:34,403 --> 00:00:38,505
- You know, just between us
two AV Club buddies,
11
00:00:38,514 --> 00:00:41,081
how's it going
with the new substitute?
12
00:00:41,088 --> 00:00:43,121
- Um...
13
00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:46,095
[rock music]
14
00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:50,208
Mr. Finn totally rocks.
15
00:00:50,213 --> 00:00:54,015
- Wow. Never heard a student say
that a teacher rocks.
16
00:00:54,024 --> 00:00:56,191
- I didn't mean rocks
like we play rock and roll.
17
00:00:56,197 --> 00:00:59,098
He's totally a real teacher,
not some weird fake.
18
00:00:59,105 --> 00:01:01,171
You should visit sometime
and see him in action.
19
00:01:01,177 --> 00:01:04,512
Oh boy, look at me gabbing away
like we're getting manicures.
20
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,754
- Well, I appreciate enthusiasm,
21
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,494
and I'm gonna take you up
on that offer.
22
00:01:09,501 --> 00:01:11,868
I'm gonna go drop
in on him right now.
23
00:01:11,874 --> 00:01:13,507
- [groans]
24
00:01:15,015 --> 00:01:18,017
[lilting rock music]
25
00:01:18,024 --> 00:01:25,997
♪ ♪
26
00:01:28,553 --> 00:01:31,721
[rock music]
27
00:01:33,266 --> 00:01:37,770
- Dude, never mess
with another man's solo.
28
00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:39,379
- Principal Mullins is
on her way.
29
00:01:39,384 --> 00:01:41,985
- I forgive you.
Hide everything.
30
00:01:41,991 --> 00:01:45,025
[rock music]
31
00:01:45,033 --> 00:01:52,672
♪ ♪
32
00:01:52,687 --> 00:01:54,087
- She's here.
33
00:01:54,092 --> 00:01:55,858
I'm supposed to be
in her office.
34
00:01:55,863 --> 00:01:57,429
- Uh...
35
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,434
- [grunts]
36
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,474
- Ah, Principal Mullins.
37
00:02:01,479 --> 00:02:03,646
What a wonderful surprise.
38
00:02:03,652 --> 00:02:06,219
We were just stretching.
39
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:07,825
Mm-hmm.
40
00:02:07,830 --> 00:02:09,163
'Cause I've always said,
41
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:14,203
a stretchy body is the key
to a stretchy mind.
42
00:02:15,818 --> 00:02:18,219
- Stretching is
my favorite subject.
43
00:02:21,802 --> 00:02:23,536
- Come on, Principal Mullins.
44
00:02:23,541 --> 00:02:24,807
Let's get loose.
45
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,912
- Oh, okay.
Well, I suppose I could.
46
00:02:29,255 --> 00:02:30,489
- Crack.
47
00:02:30,493 --> 00:02:32,193
Oh, oh, I heard something snap.
48
00:02:32,198 --> 00:02:34,098
That's not good.
- Oh, no. No, I'm fine.
49
00:02:34,104 --> 00:02:35,370
- No, no, no,
you're in shock.
50
00:02:35,374 --> 00:02:36,940
Mm-hmm. Walk it off.
- No. Oh, I--
51
00:02:36,945 --> 00:02:38,978
Into the hallway,
then to your office.
52
00:02:38,983 --> 00:02:40,483
- I really--no, I--
- Mm-hmm.
53
00:02:40,488 --> 00:02:41,654
Yeah, maybe ice.
- Oh.
54
00:02:41,658 --> 00:02:42,857
Maybe ice.
55
00:02:42,861 --> 00:02:44,127
- [sighs]
56
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,743
- ♪ Stop tellin' me
to read between the lines ♪
57
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,084
♪ It all adds up
to one thing ♪
58
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,790
- Five, four, three,
two, one.
59
00:02:54,795 --> 00:02:57,262
- ♪ If you think you're gonna
lose your cool ♪
60
00:02:57,268 --> 00:02:59,802
♪ Well, sometimes you gotta
break the rules ♪
61
00:02:59,809 --> 00:03:02,743
♪ Hey, show me what you know,
give it up to rock 'n' roll ♪
62
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,349
♪ 'Cause we ain't
gonna stop ♪
63
00:03:04,354 --> 00:03:06,121
♪ ♪
64
00:03:06,126 --> 00:03:08,093
♪ If you're feeling like
you're gettin' schooled ♪
65
00:03:08,099 --> 00:03:10,599
♪ There's a answer
right in front of you ♪
66
00:03:10,605 --> 00:03:13,272
♪ Hey, show me what you know,
give it up to rock 'n' roll ♪
67
00:03:13,279 --> 00:03:15,079
♪ 'Cause we ain't
gonna stop ♪
68
00:03:15,084 --> 00:03:16,751
- ♪ Hey! ♪
- ♪ Are you ready to rock? ♪
69
00:03:19,529 --> 00:03:21,563
[rock music]
70
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:22,635
- That was a close call.
71
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,173
- Guys, we gotta label
the windows.
72
00:03:25,179 --> 00:03:26,945
Has a bush.
73
00:03:26,950 --> 00:03:28,984
Does not have a bush.
74
00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:31,323
- We need a better system
for hiding our instruments,
75
00:03:31,329 --> 00:03:33,496
or we can say good-bye
to rocking out.
76
00:03:33,502 --> 00:03:36,136
- That is utter
and total nonsense.
77
00:03:36,143 --> 00:03:37,442
It's a spurious argument
78
00:03:37,446 --> 00:03:39,713
based on faulty logic.
- It is?
79
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,153
- Nah, I'm just practicing
for my debate Wednesday.
80
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,093
I actually thought
you made a good point.
81
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,098
- How can you think
about debate?
82
00:03:46,104 --> 00:03:47,604
My guitar is on life support.
83
00:03:47,609 --> 00:03:49,309
- I have to.
84
00:03:49,314 --> 00:03:50,646
I care about the band,
85
00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:53,084
but being debate captain
is the cornerstone
86
00:03:53,090 --> 00:03:54,389
of my college resume.
87
00:03:54,394 --> 00:03:56,361
That and letters
of recommendation
88
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,832
from my 15 best teachers.
89
00:03:57,837 --> 00:03:59,437
- Did you get mine?
90
00:03:59,442 --> 00:04:02,676
- Yes, but I really wish
you didn't write it on a napkin.
91
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,288
- What if we did something
like this?
92
00:04:06,294 --> 00:04:09,228
[upbeat music]
93
00:04:09,235 --> 00:04:10,968
There's an electric eye
outside the door
94
00:04:10,973 --> 00:04:12,206
that sets off a warning bell.
95
00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:13,343
There's also a pulley system
96
00:04:13,347 --> 00:04:14,914
and reinforced soundproofing.
97
00:04:14,919 --> 00:04:16,551
- What does that rainbow do?
98
00:04:16,555 --> 00:04:17,588
- It brings joy.
99
00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:19,825
What else do rainbows do?
100
00:04:19,831 --> 00:04:21,331
- Let's do it.
- Yeah.
101
00:04:21,336 --> 00:04:25,204
- Yes.
[Echosmith's "Come Together"]
102
00:04:25,213 --> 00:04:28,581
♪ We're gonna come together now ♪
103
00:04:28,589 --> 00:04:32,224
♪ We are gonna run together ♪
104
00:04:32,233 --> 00:04:35,635
♪ We're gonna turn it upside down ♪
105
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,910
♪ 'Cause with the smoke in the mirror ♪
106
00:04:37,916 --> 00:04:39,749
♪ I can see your face ♪
107
00:04:39,754 --> 00:04:43,289
♪ So let's run to the fire escape ♪
108
00:04:43,297 --> 00:04:44,830
♪ Come together ♪
109
00:04:44,835 --> 00:04:46,468
- Hey, dude.
What you working on?
110
00:04:46,473 --> 00:04:48,306
- Careful, the door's
spring-loaded.
111
00:04:48,311 --> 00:04:50,344
- [scoffs]
That's never gonna work.
112
00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:54,157
Yeah...
113
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:55,660
it works.
114
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,902
I'm gonna finish putting up
the soundproofing.
115
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,807
You guys let me know
if you hear anything.
116
00:05:00,813 --> 00:05:01,912
- Cool.
- Okay.
117
00:05:04,188 --> 00:05:05,455
- Here we go.
118
00:05:08,032 --> 00:05:10,834
[screaming]
119
00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:12,541
- I'm great at reading lips.
- Mm-hmm.
120
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,079
He's saying...
121
00:05:14,084 --> 00:05:16,350
"Yay!
I'm happy."
122
00:05:16,356 --> 00:05:17,422
[words silenced]
123
00:05:17,426 --> 00:05:18,425
[yelps]
124
00:05:18,428 --> 00:05:21,563
[rock music]
125
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,440
Okay, I think we're done.
126
00:05:24,445 --> 00:05:27,246
Let's test it out.
- Perfect.
127
00:05:27,253 --> 00:05:28,686
I'll be Principal Mullins.
128
00:05:28,691 --> 00:05:31,492
Why, Mr. Finn,
you're so handsome.
129
00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:34,466
Have you been working out?
130
00:05:34,473 --> 00:05:36,607
- This is getting weird.
Can we just get to the test?
131
00:05:36,613 --> 00:05:39,614
- You got it, Zack.
132
00:05:43,632 --> 00:05:45,633
[bell rings]
133
00:05:45,638 --> 00:05:48,805
[rock music]
134
00:05:48,813 --> 00:05:56,753
♪ ♪
135
00:05:58,038 --> 00:06:00,673
This looks like
a normal classroom.
136
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,214
Good work, guys.
all: Yeah!
137
00:06:03,221 --> 00:06:05,321
Okay, I got to go run
to the teachers' lounge
138
00:06:05,326 --> 00:06:08,126
and replace the hoagie
I took from Mr. Webber's lunch.
139
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:09,366
You guys jam for a bit.
140
00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:11,605
When I get back,
we'll hit the science books.
141
00:06:12,746 --> 00:06:15,915
[mellow rock music]
142
00:06:15,922 --> 00:06:17,488
[bell rings]
143
00:06:17,493 --> 00:06:20,527
[rock music]
144
00:06:20,535 --> 00:06:24,037
♪ ♪
145
00:06:24,045 --> 00:06:27,580
Just me. Can you guys
tell I took a bite out of this?
146
00:06:28,824 --> 00:06:30,191
I'll give it a shot.
147
00:06:32,234 --> 00:06:35,169
[mellow rock music]
148
00:06:37,013 --> 00:06:38,180
[bell rings]
149
00:06:38,184 --> 00:06:39,617
[rock music]
150
00:06:39,622 --> 00:06:41,355
- Guys...
151
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,626
Guys.
152
00:06:45,036 --> 00:06:46,970
- Hey, guys,
I wanted to apologize
153
00:06:46,975 --> 00:06:50,077
about opening
the door earlier.
154
00:06:50,085 --> 00:06:52,852
- Apology not accepted.
Let me out.
155
00:06:52,859 --> 00:06:55,159
- I got you, buddy.
156
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,832
[grunts]
157
00:06:58,607 --> 00:07:01,075
I hate that door.
158
00:07:01,081 --> 00:07:03,315
- We need more notice when
Principal Mullins is coming.
159
00:07:03,321 --> 00:07:06,222
- What if we had a camera
in the hallway?
160
00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:07,729
- Great idea.
161
00:07:07,733 --> 00:07:09,666
Lawrence,
you're the tech wizard.
162
00:07:09,672 --> 00:07:11,572
You could do it.
all: Yeah. Come on.
163
00:07:11,577 --> 00:07:14,078
- No way. I'm not much
of a risk taker.
164
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,851
It took two lifeguards
and my mom
165
00:07:15,856 --> 00:07:18,524
to push me down the water slide
at Splash Castle.
166
00:07:18,531 --> 00:07:21,231
You can't tell me people
don't pee in those things,
167
00:07:21,238 --> 00:07:22,771
because I did.
168
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,109
- Dude, I went right after you.
169
00:07:26,452 --> 00:07:29,620
- Guys, being a rocker
is all about taking risks.
170
00:07:29,628 --> 00:07:33,096
If Elvis didn't shake his hips
on the Ed Sullivan Show,
171
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,804
there would be
no rock and roll.
172
00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:36,909
- Yeah.
- Come on, Lawrence, you got it.
173
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,449
- Okay, Fine.
I'll do it for the band.
174
00:07:39,455 --> 00:07:42,623
Just stop that hip-shaky thing.
175
00:07:42,631 --> 00:07:45,198
[rock music]
176
00:07:45,205 --> 00:07:46,872
- I've never seen
you so stressed out
177
00:07:46,877 --> 00:07:48,309
about a debate before.
178
00:07:48,313 --> 00:07:50,547
- I just heard they switched
to speed debate.
179
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,119
- What's speed debate?
180
00:07:52,124 --> 00:07:53,657
- Hey, Summer, you ready
to lose at speed debate?
181
00:07:53,662 --> 00:07:55,662
I'm gonna crush you
and be captain of the team.
182
00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:57,233
- That's speed debate.
183
00:07:57,238 --> 00:07:59,872
- Well, at least I'll be bored
for way less time.
184
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:02,346
- And, Summer,
you'll lose quicker.
185
00:08:02,352 --> 00:08:05,787
- I'm gonna say this slowly,
Clark, so you'll understand me.
186
00:08:05,795 --> 00:08:08,496
I am so going to beat you.
187
00:08:08,503 --> 00:08:09,635
- In your dreams.
188
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:12,840
- No, in your dreams. Ha.
189
00:08:12,848 --> 00:08:14,582
I am so going to lose.
190
00:08:14,587 --> 00:08:18,021
[rock music]
191
00:08:18,029 --> 00:08:20,163
- Are you finished yet?
- Stop it.
192
00:08:20,169 --> 00:08:22,169
I don't work well
under pressure,
193
00:08:22,175 --> 00:08:23,708
or when I'm taking risks,
194
00:08:23,713 --> 00:08:26,113
or when I'm more than
two feet above the ground.
195
00:08:26,119 --> 00:08:28,620
This is a perfect storm.
196
00:08:28,626 --> 00:08:31,960
- How do you think I feel?
I'm under the perfect storm.
197
00:08:31,968 --> 00:08:33,601
- What's going on, boys?
198
00:08:33,606 --> 00:08:35,973
- Oh, Principal Mullins.
199
00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:38,114
I was just, um--
200
00:08:38,119 --> 00:08:40,319
- We're installing a camera
for the AV Club.
201
00:08:40,325 --> 00:08:42,525
Are those new glasses?
Very flattering.
202
00:08:42,531 --> 00:08:45,232
- I don't remember
approving this.
203
00:08:45,239 --> 00:08:47,572
- It's in conjunction
with the science club.
204
00:08:47,578 --> 00:08:49,679
We're studying
hallway traffic flow.
205
00:08:49,685 --> 00:08:52,018
- Yet somehow
we didn't see you.
206
00:08:52,024 --> 00:08:53,724
- I'd love to have cameras
like this all over,
207
00:08:53,729 --> 00:08:55,862
so I could keep track
of everything from my office.
208
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,069
- I could put a camera
in every classroom and monitors
209
00:08:58,075 --> 00:08:59,374
in your office.
210
00:08:59,379 --> 00:09:01,112
- That sounds way too hard,
Lawrence.
211
00:09:01,117 --> 00:09:05,352
- Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's
impossible and not a good idea.
212
00:09:06,530 --> 00:09:08,698
- It's easy.
213
00:09:08,704 --> 00:09:11,538
- Fantastic. Well, you know,
start with your classroom
214
00:09:11,545 --> 00:09:15,114
'cause I am dying to see one
of Mr. Finn's magical lectures.
215
00:09:17,461 --> 00:09:18,595
- Dude.
216
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:20,632
- I was nervous,
and I'm realizing now
217
00:09:20,638 --> 00:09:22,304
that putting a camera
in a classroom
218
00:09:22,309 --> 00:09:25,611
with a fake teacher
might not be the best idea.
219
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:29,455
[rock music]
220
00:09:29,462 --> 00:09:31,695
- Hmm.
221
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,268
Mm-hmm.
222
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,273
Ooh, Mr. Finn.
223
00:09:35,279 --> 00:09:38,547
- And I'm teaching,
teaching, teaching.
224
00:09:38,555 --> 00:09:42,123
You all furiously take notes.
225
00:09:42,131 --> 00:09:46,166
I say something
that blows your minds,
226
00:09:46,175 --> 00:09:48,709
and you all erupt in applause.
227
00:09:51,256 --> 00:09:54,225
Lawrence, if I wasn't
on camera right now,
228
00:09:54,232 --> 00:09:57,132
I'd be on my knees begging you
229
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,073
to stop
volunteering extra stuff
230
00:09:59,079 --> 00:10:01,913
every time you get nervous.
231
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,319
- I can't help it.
232
00:10:03,323 --> 00:10:04,756
I'm a blurter.
233
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,430
- Yes, Tomika.
234
00:10:07,435 --> 00:10:08,868
- With that camera in here,
235
00:10:08,872 --> 00:10:10,739
we're never going
to get to practice,
236
00:10:10,745 --> 00:10:14,346
and there's even more of a
chance Mr. Finn will get fired.
237
00:10:14,354 --> 00:10:18,957
- Correct.
238
00:10:18,967 --> 00:10:21,668
Oh, hey, Principal Mullins.
239
00:10:21,675 --> 00:10:24,475
This day just gets
better and better.
240
00:10:24,482 --> 00:10:26,683
- Well, don't mind me.
I just saw your lecture
241
00:10:26,689 --> 00:10:29,690
on Lawrence's wonderful camera,
242
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,330
and I had to hear for myself.
243
00:10:31,335 --> 00:10:35,070
- Oh. Well, we were just
discussing historical stuff,
244
00:10:35,079 --> 00:10:36,845
things that happened in history,
245
00:10:36,850 --> 00:10:41,152
and the dates when they
happened, historically.
246
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,628
- Well, pretend I'm not here.
247
00:10:42,633 --> 00:10:44,734
I would watch from my office
if the camera had sound.
248
00:10:44,739 --> 00:10:47,639
- They do. You just
have to flip one switch.
249
00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,817
- Why?
250
00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,341
- So, Vikings,
251
00:10:59,347 --> 00:11:02,948
they had beards and...
252
00:11:02,956 --> 00:11:06,124
mustaches and...
253
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,332
hats with horns.
254
00:11:08,338 --> 00:11:12,040
They fought in the battle of--
[coughs and mutters]
255
00:11:12,048 --> 00:11:14,348
Let me point it out to you
over here on this map of--
256
00:11:14,355 --> 00:11:16,923
[coughs]
257
00:11:21,107 --> 00:11:22,340
[bell rings]
258
00:11:22,344 --> 00:11:23,877
- Oh, thank God--
259
00:11:23,882 --> 00:11:26,850
for the opportunity
to bestow wisdom
260
00:11:26,857 --> 00:11:29,424
in this great school
with cameras everywhere
261
00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:32,465
that I'm totally cool with.
262
00:11:32,472 --> 00:11:35,440
[rock music]
263
00:11:35,447 --> 00:11:36,880
- I can't do this.
264
00:11:36,885 --> 00:11:38,751
They expect me to stand
in front of a classroom
265
00:11:38,756 --> 00:11:42,491
and just know things
and make sense for hours?
266
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,133
What kind of a job is that?
267
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:45,504
- Teaching.
268
00:11:46,477 --> 00:11:48,478
- Well, it's insane.
269
00:11:48,484 --> 00:11:50,918
Might as well say good-bye
to Battle of the Bands.
270
00:11:50,924 --> 00:11:52,957
I'll be fired
by the end of the day.
271
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:54,963
- There's got to be a way
to fix this.
272
00:11:54,968 --> 00:11:57,001
- Well...
273
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:57,906
Never mind.
274
00:11:57,910 --> 00:11:58,976
- You have an idea.
275
00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:01,847
- No, I don't. Ideas are risky.
276
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:04,889
- Not as risky
as not telling us.
277
00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:06,529
- That sounds like a threat.
278
00:12:06,534 --> 00:12:07,900
- Does it?
279
00:12:07,905 --> 00:12:11,039
- Okay, fine.
It's a tape loop.
280
00:12:11,046 --> 00:12:13,113
We film Mr. Finn teaching us
a brilliant class
281
00:12:13,119 --> 00:12:15,353
and get the footage to play
on Principal Mullins' monitor
282
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,825
over and over.
283
00:12:16,830 --> 00:12:20,498
- Oh, so every time she looks,
she sees us working.
284
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,139
- Meanwhile, we're rocking out.
285
00:12:22,144 --> 00:12:23,744
- We'll shoot it after school.
286
00:12:23,749 --> 00:12:26,149
Awesome idea, Lawrence.
287
00:12:26,155 --> 00:12:28,422
- I do not feel good about it.
288
00:12:29,798 --> 00:12:31,866
[rock music]
289
00:12:31,872 --> 00:12:35,974
- 13.8 billion years ago,
290
00:12:35,983 --> 00:12:40,052
all space was contained
in a single point
291
00:12:40,061 --> 00:12:45,230
from which the universe
has been expanding ever since.
292
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:48,811
The moment the universe
began expanding,
293
00:12:48,819 --> 00:12:52,520
we call the big bag.
294
00:12:52,529 --> 00:12:53,628
- Big Bang.
295
00:12:53,632 --> 00:12:55,699
- Cut.
296
00:12:55,704 --> 00:12:58,505
- And scientists call that
297
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,612
the big butt theory.
298
00:13:00,618 --> 00:13:02,184
- Cut.
299
00:13:02,189 --> 00:13:04,723
- Scientists call this...
300
00:13:04,729 --> 00:13:06,896
- [mouthing]
- The Big Bang theory.
301
00:13:06,902 --> 00:13:08,335
[all whispering]
Yes.
302
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:09,806
- I got it right.
303
00:13:09,811 --> 00:13:13,246
- Yeah, not bad for take 73.
- Right?
304
00:13:13,254 --> 00:13:15,554
- Now let's get this footage
into Principal Mullins' server.
305
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:19,796
- Wait...can I do one more
with a British accent?
306
00:13:19,805 --> 00:13:22,038
all: No.
307
00:13:22,045 --> 00:13:25,146
[rock music]
308
00:13:27,592 --> 00:13:29,092
- Summer, what's up?
309
00:13:29,097 --> 00:13:31,331
- Stupid speed debate.
310
00:13:31,337 --> 00:13:35,139
- Oh, uh, I was just
trying to be polite.
311
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,815
All right, I guess we're
doing this now.
312
00:13:38,723 --> 00:13:39,957
What's bothering you?
313
00:13:39,962 --> 00:13:41,361
- I have to win
the debate tomorrow,
314
00:13:41,365 --> 00:13:42,631
or Clark will become captain,
315
00:13:42,635 --> 00:13:44,435
and I will never hear
the end of it.
316
00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:46,774
But I can't talk fast,
I mean, at all.
317
00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:49,515
I've tried everything I could
think of and nothing's wor--
318
00:13:50,590 --> 00:13:51,957
Mr. Finn.
319
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,194
- Sorry.
320
00:13:53,198 --> 00:13:54,464
I figured I could get my coffee
321
00:13:54,469 --> 00:13:57,036
and you'd still be going
when I got back.
322
00:13:57,042 --> 00:13:58,542
- Forget it.
323
00:13:58,547 --> 00:13:59,579
- Don't worry.
324
00:14:00,785 --> 00:14:03,053
I actually have an awesome idea
325
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:06,060
that will make you
the queen of speed debate.
326
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:09,769
If you want to flow,
you just have to feel the beat.
327
00:14:09,778 --> 00:14:12,245
Check out how fast
these guys rap.
328
00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:15,355
[instrumental rap music]
- [chuckles]
329
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,261
Yeah. Now try some
of your debating.
330
00:14:18,268 --> 00:14:20,935
- ♪ America is a melting pot ♪
331
00:14:20,942 --> 00:14:24,644
♪ 98% of Americans are either
immigrants or the descendents ♪
332
00:14:24,653 --> 00:14:27,454
♪ Yeah so why don't we
allow foreign-born citizens ♪
333
00:14:27,461 --> 00:14:28,960
♪ To serve as the President ♪
♪ Uh, uh ♪
334
00:14:28,964 --> 00:14:30,631
- Word up
- ♪ Why, indeed, yo ♪
335
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,569
♪ Why would we exclude
potentially great candidates ♪
336
00:14:32,575 --> 00:14:35,175
♪ For the most important job
there is? Yeah boy ♪
337
00:14:35,182 --> 00:14:37,449
♪ Go President ♪
♪ Go President ♪
338
00:14:39,559 --> 00:14:43,162
- The explicit formula
for the Fibonacci sequence.
339
00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:45,004
- Fibonacci?
340
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,375
Guy is good.
341
00:14:47,716 --> 00:14:49,750
- This is my favorite equation
of all time.
342
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,122
- ♪ Samantha Power
Henry Kissinger ♪
343
00:14:51,126 --> 00:14:52,793
♪ And Madeleine Albright ♪
344
00:14:52,798 --> 00:14:54,030
♪ Arnold Schwarzenegger
Alexander Hamilton ♪
345
00:14:54,034 --> 00:14:55,300
♪ That's right ♪
346
00:14:55,305 --> 00:14:57,038
♪ None of them born
in the states ♪
347
00:14:57,043 --> 00:14:59,277
♪ None could be President
and that's an undeniable shame ♪
348
00:14:59,283 --> 00:15:01,083
- Yeah.
[all cheering]
349
00:15:01,088 --> 00:15:02,821
Nice.
350
00:15:02,826 --> 00:15:03,791
- You got this, Summer.
351
00:15:03,795 --> 00:15:05,295
- Yeah, just imagine that groove
352
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:07,400
in your head at your debate,
and you're golden.
353
00:15:07,405 --> 00:15:08,604
- Thank you, Mr. Finn.
354
00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:10,309
I really learned
a lot from you.
355
00:15:10,314 --> 00:15:11,613
Wow, I never thought
I'd say that.
356
00:15:12,652 --> 00:15:15,287
- Yeah, that does feel weird.
357
00:15:15,294 --> 00:15:17,128
- Lawrence,
you sure Principal Mullins
358
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,632
can't see or hear us?
359
00:15:18,637 --> 00:15:21,371
- Absolutely. This is
what she sees in her office.
360
00:15:22,781 --> 00:15:26,583
- You already know
that the Fibonacci sequence--
361
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,560
[grunting]
362
00:15:34,647 --> 00:15:36,781
- If we fight
like space monsters,
363
00:15:36,787 --> 00:15:39,454
we'll die like space monsters.
364
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,598
- What was that?
365
00:15:42,604 --> 00:15:46,272
- Looked like a scene
from Dr. Timewarp to me.
366
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,815
- Yeah, but you
were Dr. Timewarp.
367
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:50,956
- Well, whoever it was,
368
00:15:50,961 --> 00:15:53,094
I think we can all agree.
He nailed it.
369
00:15:53,099 --> 00:15:55,566
- Did Principal Mullins
see that?
370
00:15:55,573 --> 00:15:58,140
- If she was in her office,
she did.
371
00:15:58,146 --> 00:16:01,514
- [groans indistinctly]
Lawrence.
372
00:16:01,522 --> 00:16:03,522
- Something must have
gone wrong.
373
00:16:03,528 --> 00:16:05,528
Maybe someone's
private video footage
374
00:16:05,534 --> 00:16:07,067
got mixed into the tape loop.
375
00:16:07,071 --> 00:16:09,205
But since we don't know
who that Dr. Timewarp was,
376
00:16:09,211 --> 00:16:10,744
it will remain a mystery.
377
00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:13,285
- It was you.
378
00:16:13,290 --> 00:16:15,456
- That's one theory.
379
00:16:15,461 --> 00:16:18,529
[rock music]
380
00:16:19,706 --> 00:16:22,141
- Oh. Where'd you
just come from?
381
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:26,316
- What? I was using
the bath--the facilities.
382
00:16:26,326 --> 00:16:29,660
- That's great news.
383
00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:35,178
She didn't see it.
- Oh, we're good.
384
00:16:35,184 --> 00:16:38,318
- Do you people understand
the concept of a tape loop?
385
00:16:38,325 --> 00:16:41,326
She'll see it when it comes on
again in a couple hours.
386
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,768
Mr. Finn'll get fired,
the band will be over,
387
00:16:43,774 --> 00:16:45,774
and I'll be kicked
out of the AV Club.
388
00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:49,582
This is why I don't take risks.
389
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:52,025
- Can't you just
fix it on your laptop?
390
00:16:52,031 --> 00:16:53,296
- You'd have to do that
391
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:55,367
from the server
in Principal Mullins' office.
392
00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:58,875
- We can't depend on her going
to the bathroom again.
393
00:16:58,883 --> 00:17:01,683
- I've got it. She's the debate
coach, so in an hour,
394
00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:04,024
she'll be in the quad,
naming me the new captain
395
00:17:04,031 --> 00:17:05,164
of the debate team.
396
00:17:05,168 --> 00:17:06,267
- Yeah.
397
00:17:06,271 --> 00:17:07,637
- That's when we'll move.
398
00:17:07,641 --> 00:17:09,074
Ready? Go.
399
00:17:10,146 --> 00:17:11,947
- Wait, did you say an hour?
400
00:17:11,953 --> 00:17:12,952
- Yeah.
401
00:17:12,956 --> 00:17:14,189
Let's do it.
402
00:17:14,193 --> 00:17:16,226
- In an hour.
403
00:17:16,231 --> 00:17:18,431
- Right.
404
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:21,572
[rock music]
405
00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:27,723
- Guys, I'm really
uncomfortable being here.
406
00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:29,130
This is a huge risk,
407
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:32,035
and every risk
I've taken lately has backfired.
408
00:17:32,042 --> 00:17:34,476
- Relax. All you have
to do is be lookout.
409
00:17:34,482 --> 00:17:36,682
- Chill, dude.
We got this.
410
00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:38,722
- If we fight like
space monsters,
411
00:17:38,728 --> 00:17:41,028
we'll die like space monsters.
412
00:17:41,034 --> 00:17:44,435
Die like space monsters.
- Maybe we don't got this.
413
00:17:44,443 --> 00:17:45,543
- You made it worse.
414
00:17:45,547 --> 00:17:46,946
You're never going to be done
415
00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:48,883
before Principal Mullins
gets back from debate.
416
00:17:48,889 --> 00:17:51,190
- Hang on. I'm gonna
go buy us some more time.
417
00:17:53,501 --> 00:17:57,437
- Man, you're really taking it
to that teddy bear, buddy.
418
00:17:57,446 --> 00:17:59,546
[grunting]
419
00:18:01,022 --> 00:18:02,790
- The American presidency
is the most important job
420
00:18:02,795 --> 00:18:04,194
in our country, and therefore,
who can be President
421
00:18:04,198 --> 00:18:05,998
must be restricted
to natural-born citizens.
422
00:18:06,004 --> 00:18:08,805
Americans are capable of--
- Hey, have you gone yet?
423
00:18:08,812 --> 00:18:10,578
- No, I'm the last one,
but I'm up next.
424
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:13,517
By the time I'm done, Clark's
going to be speed crying.
425
00:18:13,524 --> 00:18:15,024
- Great, good luck.
426
00:18:15,029 --> 00:18:17,563
One little thing, we need
more time to fix the loop,
427
00:18:17,569 --> 00:18:21,804
so it'd be great if you
could talk really slowly.
428
00:18:21,814 --> 00:18:24,048
- It's speed debate.
- I'm sorry.
429
00:18:24,054 --> 00:18:26,221
I know how important
this is to you,
430
00:18:26,227 --> 00:18:27,960
but the band needs this.
431
00:18:27,965 --> 00:18:29,464
- But the debate team
is so important to me,
432
00:18:29,469 --> 00:18:30,969
and I've worked so hard.
On the other hand,
433
00:18:30,973 --> 00:18:32,306
I love the band,
and it affects more people
434
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:33,943
than just me.
- What are you doing?
435
00:18:33,948 --> 00:18:36,049
- I'm speed debating myself.
436
00:18:36,055 --> 00:18:37,888
- How is that going for you?
- I don't know.
437
00:18:37,893 --> 00:18:40,327
Both of me are making
excellent points.
438
00:18:41,836 --> 00:18:43,170
- There is no finer product
439
00:18:43,174 --> 00:18:44,840
than the one that was
made in America,
440
00:18:44,845 --> 00:18:46,144
and that's where I want
our presidents to be made,
441
00:18:46,149 --> 00:18:48,183
right here in the good old
US of A.
442
00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:51,625
[applause]
443
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:52,896
- Very good, Clark.
444
00:18:52,901 --> 00:18:54,468
Not only did you speak quickly,
445
00:18:54,473 --> 00:18:57,173
but there was
very little spittle.
446
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,079
Bravo.
447
00:18:59,085 --> 00:19:01,319
Uh, Summer, you're next.
448
00:19:06,371 --> 00:19:09,240
- America...
449
00:19:09,247 --> 00:19:11,580
[sighs]
450
00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:14,888
is...
451
00:19:14,896 --> 00:19:17,897
a...
452
00:19:17,905 --> 00:19:21,373
melting...
453
00:19:21,381 --> 00:19:23,080
pot.
454
00:19:23,085 --> 00:19:24,885
- All right, I'm out of ideas.
455
00:19:24,890 --> 00:19:28,292
I'm just gonna have to fix
this like my dad fixes the TV,
456
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,167
bang the snot out of it
and yell, "Come on, work."
457
00:19:31,174 --> 00:19:32,307
- No.
458
00:19:32,311 --> 00:19:34,077
[sighs]
All you have to do
459
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:36,083
is plug this into this,
460
00:19:36,088 --> 00:19:39,056
hit this button,
sync the feed,
461
00:19:39,064 --> 00:19:40,530
and hit Control+Enter.
462
00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:41,867
A baby could do it.
463
00:19:41,872 --> 00:19:43,771
- Well, a baby can't make toast,
464
00:19:43,776 --> 00:19:45,643
but I can.
465
00:19:45,648 --> 00:19:47,114
But you did it.
466
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,219
- Huh. I did, didn't I?
467
00:19:51,096 --> 00:19:54,698
Mm?
- Hmm.
468
00:19:54,707 --> 00:19:56,107
- As...
469
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:58,912
the world's...
470
00:19:58,919 --> 00:20:02,787
increasingly--
471
00:20:02,796 --> 00:20:05,063
- A part of me feels
bad for Summer,
472
00:20:05,069 --> 00:20:07,570
but a much larger part
of me feels great for me.
473
00:20:09,748 --> 00:20:12,550
- I was just punching the part
of you that was being a jerk.
474
00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:16,862
- Becomes...
475
00:20:16,868 --> 00:20:21,004
an international...
476
00:20:21,014 --> 00:20:23,081
community.
477
00:20:23,086 --> 00:20:24,552
♪ There's no reason our leaders
shouldn't be international ♪
478
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,223
♪ Samantha Power
Henry Kissinger ♪
479
00:20:26,228 --> 00:20:27,661
♪ And Madeleine Albright
Arnold Schwarzenegger ♪
480
00:20:27,666 --> 00:20:29,432
♪ Alexander Hamilton
That's right ♪
481
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,337
♪ Oh, did I mention Harry Styles
from One Direction ♪
482
00:20:31,342 --> 00:20:33,242
♪ None could be President
if we had an election ♪
483
00:20:33,248 --> 00:20:35,882
♪ and that's
an undeniable shame ♪
484
00:20:35,888 --> 00:20:37,421
♪ Boom ♪
485
00:20:37,426 --> 00:20:40,627
[applause]
486
00:20:40,635 --> 00:20:43,002
- I think we've found
our new captain.
487
00:20:44,044 --> 00:20:45,210
- Yes.
488
00:20:45,214 --> 00:20:46,781
- That was a close call.
489
00:20:46,786 --> 00:20:49,820
I think we need a permanent
solution to those cameras.
490
00:20:49,827 --> 00:20:51,193
- Leave it to me.
491
00:20:51,198 --> 00:20:52,564
I got this.
492
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,742
[electronic music]
[all giggling]
493
00:20:59,654 --> 00:21:00,954
- Hello, kids.
494
00:21:00,958 --> 00:21:03,292
♪ ♪
495
00:21:03,299 --> 00:21:05,299
Oh, hello, girls.
496
00:21:05,304 --> 00:21:12,776
♪ ♪
497
00:21:12,792 --> 00:21:15,593
[gasps]
498
00:21:18,807 --> 00:21:20,608
Oh.
499
00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,984
Oh, no.
500
00:21:23,990 --> 00:21:26,290
Oh--
Oh, back off.
501
00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:30,601
- All of the cameras need
to come down immediately.
502
00:21:30,608 --> 00:21:32,542
- You got it,
Principal Mullins.
503
00:21:32,547 --> 00:21:34,580
- Thank you.
504
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:36,686
Oh, and um...
505
00:21:36,691 --> 00:21:38,958
do you know of any way
to get a video
506
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,697
off of the Internet?
507
00:21:40,703 --> 00:21:43,871
I'll let you drive
the security golf cart.
508
00:21:43,878 --> 00:21:47,179
- I wish I could,
but that's impossible.
509
00:21:47,187 --> 00:21:48,820
- That is unfortunate.
510
00:21:50,596 --> 00:21:51,796
Okay.
511
00:21:53,303 --> 00:21:56,305
- You posted that video of
Principal Mullins, didn't you?
512
00:21:56,313 --> 00:21:57,412
- Maybe.
513
00:21:57,416 --> 00:21:59,250
I also maybe hid a camera
514
00:21:59,255 --> 00:22:00,621
inside the smoke detector,
515
00:22:00,625 --> 00:22:02,091
so we'll see her coming
even after
516
00:22:02,096 --> 00:22:03,729
I take the other cameras down.
517
00:22:03,734 --> 00:22:06,568
- Dude, that's pretty risky.
518
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:09,743
- That's rock and roll.
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