All language subtitles for Sanford & Son s04e20 The Stand-Ins

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:14,850 Put your little foot, put your little foot, put your little foot right out. 2 00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:22,250 Put your little foot. How's that feel, Jonathan Livingston Turkey? 3 00:01:23,070 --> 00:01:26,690 Put your little foot right out. 4 00:01:27,510 --> 00:01:28,750 Hey, Pop, I'm home. 5 00:01:33,890 --> 00:01:34,890 Huh? 6 00:01:35,710 --> 00:01:38,170 Yeah, yeah, son, I'm in the kitchen. 7 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:39,700 With a bird in my hand. 8 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:42,920 Hey, 9 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,260 that's a mighty fine -looking bird you got there, Pop. 10 00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:47,780 Yeah, I'm sort of proud of it myself, son. Yeah. 11 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:52,280 Look at there. Hey, Pop, you remember when I was a little kid how I hated to 12 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,640 spinach? Uh -huh. Well, I don't hate spinach anymore. Oh, you don't? You know 13 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:56,298 what I hate now? 14 00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,940 What? A handful of turkey stuffing on my shoulder. 15 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:02,440 Oh, excuse me, son. 16 00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:03,620 Don't get angry. 17 00:02:03,820 --> 00:02:05,060 I'm in such a good mood. 18 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:06,820 Listen, guess who's coming to dinner? 19 00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:08,180 Sidney Poche? 20 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,920 No, stop kidding around. I mean, look at the table. Hatted cheese potatoes, 21 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:16,520 cranberry sauce, dressing, and a big turkey. Now, guess. 22 00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:18,080 The pilgrims are coming. 23 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,480 No, son. 24 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:24,340 The best friend I got in the entire world in this hemisphere is coming. 25 00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:26,980 Don't tell me Bowlegs is coming here again. 26 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:29,080 Bowlegs is coming. 27 00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:31,760 Well, how long is he going to be here this time? 28 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:36,220 I didn't ask him and he didn't tell me. When you owe a man your life, you just 29 00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:38,240 don't ask him how long he's going to stay at your house. 30 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,160 Hey, Pop, you don't owe that dude nothing, man. He's a freeloader. 31 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:45,660 You take that back, man. Listen, you go upstairs and brush your teeth. 32 00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,800 Why? Because I don't want to dirty my knuckles up. 33 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,420 Listen, Pop, the thing that I... Never mind that. Listen to me. 34 00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:01,320 See, Bo Legs did the greatest thing any human being could do for another human 35 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:05,000 being. Bo Legs introduced me to your mother. 36 00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:10,020 Besides, you owe him something, too, because if he hadn't introduced me to 37 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:13,240 mother, you might not even be here now. I might not be your father. 38 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,480 Somebody else could have been your father. 39 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:17,760 You even might have been white. 40 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,240 doing in town anyway? 41 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:41,200 He's coming in town. He's doing two weeks down at Stone's Casbah and Grill, 42 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,580 and his partner. Two weeks? They're going to be here for two weeks? They'll 43 00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:48,500 here for two weeks, and they'll be in this house for two weeks. They'll be in 44 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:52,640 your room for two weeks, and you'll be sleeping on the couch, and if you don't 45 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:53,780 like it, lump it. 46 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,580 I don't like it, and there's not room for another lump on that couch. 47 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,000 That's him now. I'm ecstatic. 48 00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:04,260 That's him, son. 49 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:05,779 Wait a minute. 50 00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:06,780 I'll make that. 51 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:11,080 Boney! Fred! 52 00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:13,200 Boney! Fred! 53 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,280 Ah! 54 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,040 Hey, you. 55 00:04:19,779 --> 00:04:21,140 You still look the same. 56 00:04:21,459 --> 00:04:24,620 Oh, no. I had my legs straightened. I'm a foot taller now. 57 00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:26,980 Oh, 58 00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,380 excuse me, Boney. 59 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,480 No, 60 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,600 I wasn't doing anything. I was just cooking in the kitchen. 61 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:40,480 I want you to know this. My house is your house. 62 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,780 And my son's room is your room. You remember Lamont's room, isn't it? Yeah, 63 00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:47,440 remember where it's at. Well, good. I'll take this on up. Good. 64 00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:49,380 Hey, Bully. Yeah. 65 00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:52,420 How was your trip? Oh, Fred, my trip was fine. 66 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,220 Only had one flat tire, and that was it. No kidding. Well, there's no worry 67 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,180 about it any more than I get you a brand new tire. 68 00:04:58,440 --> 00:04:59,660 You don't have to do that, Fred. 69 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:02,720 I know you might. I want to thank you, though. My partner wants to thank you. 70 00:05:02,820 --> 00:05:03,840 Hey, Lamont. 71 00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:05,740 Hey, Bully, it's what it is. Oh, I'm... 72 00:05:06,410 --> 00:05:08,050 Honey, I want to thank you for letting me use your room again. 73 00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:10,890 It's my pleasure. I've just been looking forward to it. Hey, look here. 74 00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,050 Guess what we're having for dinner. 75 00:05:13,470 --> 00:05:15,550 Don't tell me. You made my favorite. 76 00:05:16,170 --> 00:05:17,370 Baked potatoes. Uh -huh. 77 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,710 Mustard greens. Uh -huh. And prime rib. 78 00:05:22,130 --> 00:05:23,730 Yeah, right, right. Pa! 79 00:05:24,110 --> 00:05:25,110 Goes to weasel. 80 00:05:26,710 --> 00:05:29,650 No, it's just a little thing between my son and I. Ever since he was a little 81 00:05:29,650 --> 00:05:33,010 baby, he'd say, Pop! And I'd say, goes to weasel. Oh, I see. 82 00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:37,460 If you folks don't mind, I'd like to go wash up and get out of these tired 83 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:38,620 clothes. Yeah, Bo. 84 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,600 Listen, go downstairs, some soap up there and some towels, and you want to 85 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,800 on one of my suits, go on here. All right. And look at his drawer. He just 86 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,460 bought a new sweater you can wear. Pop! 87 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:48,980 Go do we do. 88 00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:57,200 What a meal, Fred. What a meal. 89 00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:58,680 Well, I just hope you had enough. 90 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,380 Oh, sure. I had plenty. 91 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:01,800 Plenty. Yeah. 92 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:02,880 You know something, Fred? 93 00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:07,270 Huh? That was the thickest piece of prime rib I've ever ate in my whole 94 00:06:07,510 --> 00:06:11,250 Okay. Right, and do you know that's the first time I ever had stuffed turkey for 95 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:12,250 dessert? Yeah. 96 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:18,270 Well, I just hoped the stuffed turkey and the prime rib and the mashed 97 00:06:18,270 --> 00:06:22,510 and the cornbread was filling enough for y 'all. But you see, we had our big 98 00:06:22,510 --> 00:06:23,510 meal at lunch. 99 00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:25,630 I don't know why you sure got yourself a meal. 100 00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:28,430 Yeah, is he buying you a bowl of egg? Oh, no. He can get on out of here, you 101 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,430 know. Pop. 102 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:30,910 Goes the weasel. 103 00:06:32,970 --> 00:06:33,849 the act getting along? 104 00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,070 Oh, the act's doing great. 105 00:06:35,370 --> 00:06:37,090 You know, we got a whole new number now. 106 00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:39,890 You haven't caught the act lately, have you? Oh, I haven't seen you in about 107 00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:40,890 three or four years. 108 00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:45,450 Al, shall we sing for our supper? You sing. I'm going to dance. That's the 109 00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:48,310 Great. Lamont, hand him my guitar over there. 110 00:06:48,570 --> 00:06:49,570 Give me the guitar, dummy. 111 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,150 Hey, Red, first... 112 00:06:55,820 --> 00:06:58,820 Why don't we do that old number we used to do years ago? You remember that 113 00:06:58,820 --> 00:07:02,340 number we used to do years ago, huh? No, I don't want to. You do good for me. I 114 00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:04,920 don't want to sing that to all of me in A -flat. All right. 115 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:07,780 I'll tell you what I'm going to do. 116 00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:09,400 I'll give you four bars. 117 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,920 As long as it's free, give me eight. 118 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,460 Here's your eight bars. 119 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:27,260 Now, all of me, all of me. Why not take all? 120 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:29,980 Can't you see? 121 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:35,640 I'm no good without you. Take my all. 122 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,100 I never use them. 123 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,360 Take my lips. 124 00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:44,600 I want to prove them. 125 00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:49,040 Your goodbye left me with eyes. 126 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:55,000 How can I go on, dear, without you? 127 00:07:56,520 --> 00:08:01,060 You took the part. That one was my heart. 128 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,060 Why not take all of it? 129 00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:20,990 Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. 130 00:08:21,510 --> 00:08:22,510 Shut up. 131 00:08:23,410 --> 00:08:24,389 Shut up. 132 00:08:24,390 --> 00:08:26,530 Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. 133 00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:27,849 Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. 134 00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:28,850 Shut up. 135 00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:48,540 Why not? 136 00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:53,260 Why not take all of them? 137 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,160 Oh, yeah. 138 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:03,160 All 139 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:10,320 right, 140 00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:14,540 Al. It's your turn. All right. Lamont, can we get some surface? Can we get some 141 00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:16,640 what? Some surface. You got it. All right. 142 00:09:19,770 --> 00:09:20,770 All right. 143 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:26,450 Now, Al, you do something. All right, let's go. Well, go ahead and do 144 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,660 I'll send you up there coming with me. I got you something. 145 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,840 Wait a minute. He fell down over here. 146 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:56,800 Wait a minute. Are you all right? Oh, what hurts? 147 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,560 I think I sprung my back. 148 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,780 Well, just lay down there until we find out for sure. 149 00:10:02,260 --> 00:10:07,060 Don't move. Don't move. Oh, and the last time, I couldn't dance for two weeks. 150 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,340 Two weeks? Two weeks? 151 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,060 Man, we open this week. We got a contract. 152 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,240 The Zanies. Cover them dance. Brad, you got to do something. You got to help me. 153 00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:17,800 You got the hell with it. I'll do anything in the world for you. You know 154 00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,120 boys. Now, look here. 155 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,400 Come on. 156 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:40,480 Fred, I really want to thank you for helping me out. No kidding. You know I'd 157 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,120 anything to help you. You know that for sure. 158 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,420 Hey, uh, Mr. 159 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:47,120 Stone, I got to catch my bus, though. Could I have my money now? 160 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:51,600 Yeah, kid, can I give you a suggestion about your act? Sure. 161 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,320 Get out of here. 162 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,140 No, no, no, wait a second, Mr. Stone. I worked here at the cash bar for two 163 00:10:57,140 --> 00:11:01,400 weeks, and I expect two weeks' pay. Look, kid, you like two weeks, you got 164 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,700 laughs. That's a laugh a week. 165 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,640 For a laugh a week, I'd pay a buck a week. 166 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:11,320 Take your two bucks and get out of here before I break your legs. 167 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,960 Hey, no, no, wait a second. 168 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,500 Listen, I don't have to stay here any longer. 169 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,100 I can go right now, if that's all right. 170 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,120 Hey, hey, hey, you, you, you, come here. 171 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,100 I told you, come here, come here. 172 00:11:35,630 --> 00:11:36,630 You bow legs? 173 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:40,290 No, I'm not neat enough. 174 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:44,729 That's funny. 175 00:11:44,730 --> 00:11:47,250 That's funny. That's what we need around here is more funny, huh? 176 00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:49,690 Oh, boy. Yeah, yeah. 177 00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:53,990 Yeah, sure, take a look at them legs, of course. You must be bow legs, right? 178 00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:57,050 That's right. Then you're his partner, right? You're two of the Zanies, right? 179 00:11:57,290 --> 00:12:01,030 Yeah. I love it. I love it. Hey, do that thing for me again, will you? 180 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:02,009 What thing? 181 00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:03,530 That funny walk you do, you know? 182 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,880 What funny walk? You killed me. 183 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:09,720 Go on, do it. 184 00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:12,420 He's walking. 185 00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:15,780 He's walking. 186 00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:19,660 He's walking. 187 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:21,560 Oh, yeah. 188 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:22,740 Yeah, that's perfect. 189 00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:26,540 Yeah, you're the zanies, all right. Hey, you got any music with you? Oh, yeah, 190 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,580 here it is right here. Now, this is my song. Yeah. And these are the tunes we 191 00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:32,700 together. Yeah? Well, where's the rest of it? 192 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,600 The rest? The dance numbers. 193 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,880 Oh, the dance numbers. Yeah, the dance numbers. Look, I bought the zanies, 194 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,640 comedy, song, and dance. 195 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:45,380 Now, you better show me a dance, or you ain't gonna be able to show me a walk. 196 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,640 Wait a minute now. 197 00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:47,779 Wait, please. 198 00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:49,060 What happened to your sense of humor? 199 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,220 You had a minute to go. Look here. Watch me do this. Look. 200 00:12:55,140 --> 00:12:56,140 He's walking. 201 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,220 He's walking. I love it. I love it. 202 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,400 You know, you kill me. 203 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,660 Now, explain to me why there's no dancing. 204 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:13,660 Oh, that's very simple. Yeah. Tell him, Fred. Well, see, the dancing Zany, he's 205 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,520 at the rehearsal hall. And he'll be here tonight. 206 00:13:15,820 --> 00:13:19,500 Yeah, I swear, he'll be here tonight. Or else my name is not Fred Zany Ford. 207 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,620 That's Z -A -N -Y -F -O -R -D, period. 208 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,540 Wait, wait, look here. Watch this here again. 209 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,560 He's walking. 210 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:37,980 Fred, I know Lamont ain't going to want to do this. I know he ain't going to 211 00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:41,180 want to do it. But listen, I don't have to ask him what I want him to do. I'm 212 00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:44,200 going to tell him what I want him to do. Okay. He is the dancing zany. 213 00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:48,360 Hey, sounding much better. 214 00:13:48,980 --> 00:13:50,220 Think I'll go up and see how it goes? 215 00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:51,940 Oh! 216 00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:58,180 Now, listen, Lamont. 217 00:13:59,860 --> 00:14:01,480 I'm telling you I want you to do something. 218 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:04,480 Listen, Lamont. 219 00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:05,820 Would you do something for me? 220 00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:10,980 Lamont, do me a favor, son. 221 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:12,680 Please. 222 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:18,040 Listen, I got something to tell you. Now, when I'm talking to you, I 223 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:24,620 want you to listen to me when I'm talking to you. When I tell you, this is 224 00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:25,199 you do. 225 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,500 You just say, all right, pop, you got that? 226 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:29,360 That's all I want to hear. 227 00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:44,380 talking to yourself like a fool. 228 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,900 Come here, son. 229 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,320 Huh? Don't move now. 230 00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,440 Don't move. Just be calm. Don't get excited. 231 00:14:53,760 --> 00:15:00,120 And don't move to your right. Sort of ease over to your left, son, because I'm 232 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,940 positive there's some fungus growing over there. 233 00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,440 You sure don't. Just look in the mirror. 234 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:21,500 Pop, do you always have to attack on Esther like this? 235 00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:24,260 Yeah, until they find some kind of cure for her. 236 00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:30,060 I just came over here to ask you if you want me to cook dinner for you and your 237 00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:36,500 friends. But now, I wouldn't do nothing for you or any of your old sinful 238 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,500 things. 239 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,960 Lamont, you're always welcome to my house. 240 00:15:42,340 --> 00:15:43,340 But you... 241 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,900 You old fish -eyed fool. 242 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,460 Don't you ever set foot in my house again, huh, Gloria? 243 00:15:51,940 --> 00:15:53,160 You old heathen. 244 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,720 Back in your cave, you old bat. 245 00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:09,200 Listen, let me tell you something right now, Pop. All right then, son. 246 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:11,040 Okay. Huh? Yeah. 247 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:13,500 Anything you want me to do, I do. 248 00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:16,660 Because I want you to do anything I tell you to do. 249 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,140 What's the matter with you, Pop? 250 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,260 Well, it's like this, son. 251 00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:22,460 Let me explain. 252 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:27,740 Have you ever felt like being zany? Like what? 253 00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:29,380 How's this sound? 254 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:33,040 Now, you heard of the zanies, song, comedy, and dance. 255 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:36,480 Right. Well, Bo Legs and I, we're song and comedy. 256 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,220 And you are dance. 257 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,120 Pop, I ain't got nothing to do with this. 258 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:46,780 See? Bo Legs. is in trouble and we're not going to let him down for no reason. 259 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,840 He needs us. 260 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:52,960 And listen, I owe him a favor for the rest of my life because he introduced me 261 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:53,960 to your mother. 262 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,180 I didn't know that. 263 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,120 You didn't know that? 264 00:16:59,780 --> 00:17:01,500 I could have swore I told you. 265 00:17:14,089 --> 00:17:15,250 Jelly, jelly, jelly. 266 00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:20,290 Jelly stays on my mind. 267 00:17:22,869 --> 00:17:24,790 Jelly, jelly, jelly. 268 00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:29,850 Jelly stays on my mind. 269 00:17:31,670 --> 00:17:37,310 Jelly roll killed my pappy. It ruined my mama's door. 20240

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