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Hey,
man, I can't wait till Pop gets here.
Hey,
Ma, I think this is ready now.
Let me have it, Jack. I'll taste it for you.
Oh, no, not you, Capone.
Capone. Yeah, I know you. You put the dip in your mouth and the spoon in your
pocket.
Now, try this out, Lamar. Hey, what is it, Gritty?
Oh, that's a sour cream base with chopped pickles,
chopped sauerkraut, chopped sweet and sour ham hocks, and my
special...
Secret sour soul sauce.
Uh, Grady, would those bandages on your fingers happen to have anything to do
with your special secret sour soul sauce?
Oh, yeah, they stop the flow of it.
Take it in the kitchen and dump it in the garbage.
In the kitchen?
In the kitchen. In the garbage? In the garbage. I mean, I've been really
on this, Lamar. I mean, what a waste of sour.
You don't look the same to me, Donna. What is it?
Don't tell me.
You've gotten old.
Haven't we all?
And fair.
I know you don't like me, Esther.
You never have.
Ever since Fred and I got engaged.
But I understand that. After all, he was married to your sister, and it's
natural for you to feel that doubt. No one can take her place.
offended by your remarks and will not answer you back cow
Hey, man, it's a car. Okay, look. It's one of those airport limousines. Hey,
man, let's get out of here. Let's get out of here.
Ow!
Lady, would you shut up and get behind the sofa? Who did that?
Well, I'm sorry. I thought she was a sofa.
I bet she don't even know.
Come on, pops. Cheers.
Cheers. Is that what you want?
Yippee, yippee, yeah.
A good old lady let you out the house tonight.
Oh, man, she didn't let me out the house.
I ducked out the house on my own.
I ducked the frying pan, I ducked three plates, and I ducked the cat.
Hey, Pop, tell us about St. Louis. Yeah.
All right, wait a minute. St. Louis was just great. Hey, Rollo, give me that
small brown bag over there. I bought presents for everybody.
you've been taking such good care of my son.
Oh, you didn't have to do that. I wasn't expecting anything.
What'd you get me?
Here it is.
St. Louis bunion pads.
Well, I really, I'm going to put those on now. I need them. Grady, Grady, don't
take your shoes off. Please don't take your shoes off.
Don't take your shoes off. And Donna, honey, here's something for you.
See there?
If you get a watch, you can put it in there.
I'm just kidding, honey. Here's the one.
It's beautiful. Look, Esther.
Wow. Yes, look.
It's exactly $2 .49.
Wow. Are you kidding? It must be 6 o 'clock.
I wasn't looking at the time, Fred. I was looking at the price tag. Oh.
Shut up.
Get your face away from me before it stops.
I've got something here for you, Esther.
Here.
to your face as your Halloween mask.
Hey, Pop, would you leave Aunt Esther alone?
It would be a pleasure.
Aunt Esther, would you like a drink?
Oh, she wouldn't want a drink. Why wouldn't I want a drink? Because you are
drink. A zombie.
That's it!
Come on, now.
Hey, son, I almost forgot. I got you a present, too. Me?
Got you a...
Stereo. All right.
Yeah.
Here.
You want a tray?
Hey, man, you need an airplane for these to work. No, you don't. Hey, plug on in
there. Listen.
I'm with ID2.
Love beyond company.
What kind of present is this to give your son?
That damn cheap.
The voice of a chicken coming out of a buzzard.
I
hope
you're proud of yourself, Pop. All your friends come over here to give you a
welcome home party, and you have to start a fight.
It wasn't none of my fault.
Esther started all that rigmarole.
She threw the first punch.
Yeah, Pop, but you called her a zombie.
I should have called her a gorilla.
That's what she is, a gorilla.
She look like mighty Joe Young's sister.
Mighty ugly.
Are you going to help me clean up this mess, or are you just going to sit
Okay, okay.
I'll help you, but first, I got to get into something comfortable.
My bed.
Good night.
Come on, Pop. Help me clean up, man.
Well, get Grady to help you.
Grady? Grady's no help. You said he took care of you all the time I was gone.
Yeah, well, Grady's a nice guy and a good friend and all that, but he's no
man. Okay, I'll change and come back down.
Thank you very much.
Hey, Grady, where you going?
I'm leaving.
Leaving?
Leaving, leaving, leaving.
Leaving. L -E -E -V -I -N.
Leaving. Hey, Grady, it's the middle of the night. What's the matter with you?
Nothing's the matter with me, especially my ears.
I heard what you told your father.
Oh, Dad.
Well, look, Grady. No, I don't want to hear no excuses.
I heard what you said.
Look, Grady, come on in the kitchen for a minute. No, I don't want to go in
there.
Just come in the kitchen. I don't want Pop to hear this, Grady. But why you
don't want him to hear it? Come on, now just sit down over here, okay?
Now see, Pop's upstairs changing. I don't want him to hear this.
Do you know why I told Pop that you're no help to me, Grady?
Yeah, because you don't think I'm any help to you.
No, man, that's what I wanted him to think.
But why you want him to think that?
So he would feel better.
How's that going to make him feel better, knowing that he's best friends?
Couldn't take care of his only son while he was away.
Grady, Pop likes to feel that he's the only person that can run this place and
take care of me. So?
So I couldn't tell him the truth, Grady, that you could run the place and take
care of me just as good as he can.
Oh, you really mean that? Of course I mean that, man.
Oh,
now I understand.
I understand why you said I was no help to you. You wanted to make him feel
important. And better than me. Right.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, well, you could have just told me that. You know, I mean, I
understand those kind of things.
You wanted to try to make him feel important and better than me. That's
Grady. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Well, you could have just told me that. You
didn't, you know, have to, you know, just tell him, you know, stay behind my
back. Well, I'm glad you understand, Grady. Well, okay. I'm going to go clean
now, then. Okay? Thanks a lot, man. All right.
Yeah, why?
Hey, Lamont.
Huh?
You weren't lying to me, were you?
Hey, Grady, look, man, I don't lie.
Well, maybe just a little bit.
Oh, crummy Grady. He can run the business better than me.
Well, he can have it.
He can change half of his son.
To crummy and dummy.
Hey, Fred.
Welcome back, man.
Let me buy you a drink.
Yeah, well, maybe a little won't hurt. All right, so what'd it be?
Give me a double triple.
A double triple?
Yeah, heavy on the double, and 20 is an extra triple.
Hey, Fred, why the long face, man?
I just got the short end.
Fred, you crying?
Hey, man, what happened?
My best friend ran off with my son.
What are you talking about, man?
What did he do?
He convinced Lamont that he was a better businessman than me and he could cook
better than me and he was better in the yard than me.
Okay, now get to the lying part.
That was the lying part.
Dummy Lamont.
Fred, then you've got to go back there and assert yourself.
You're right.
I mean, a man's home is his castle.
His castle. Right, and you've got to show them that you are the king.
I'm the king of my castle.
work twice as hard as both of them put together.
And twice as long, too.
The king is abdicated.
I'm never done.
Fred, you're not giving in, though.
Hell no, I ain't giving in.
They think they don't need me. Well, they'll find out they need me and I
need them.
What are you talking about? They'll see.
Lamont will see. He's ready to see.
Everybody will see.
I can't see.
I don't understand it. I just don't understand it.
Lamont, why would he leave like that?
I don't understand it either, Donna, but I appreciate you and Arnester coming
over here like this. Well, misery loves company.
Oh, somebody's coming.
Who is it?
Who is it?
Oh, that's you, Lamont.
You just a messy fool.
And you just a sexy fool.
Come and sit down. Let me help you. Do not don't.
Please don't, Donna. I don't need nobody. I don't need nobody at all. Oh,
Pop. Pop.
Pop. How much did you drink anyway?
How deep is the ocean?
How high is... Hey,
what's the matter with you, Pop?
There's nothing wrong with me giving myself a little going out of town.
Fred, you just got back.
Where are you going?
St. Louis.
On the banks of the Mississippi.
M -I -S -S -I -S -S -M -O -U -S -B.
Mississippi.
Mississippi.
That's where I'm needed.
You're needed here, Pop.
No.
You got greedy. Grady. Yeah.
You got greedy Grady.
Greedy Grady want my house and my son.
Well, you got it, greedy Grady.
It's fine, son.
And Donna. Fred.
Now, Fred. You ain't never did nothing to me. I love you. Kiss me, honey.
Lamont, will you do something about this?
Oh, Donna, you're going to have to shave.
what you're trying to do, son, but I got to take the bus.
Too far to ride.
Lewis, Pop, you're at home.
Hangover?
Bad?
Can I get you something for it? Please.
What? A bullet.
Put it right here.
I'll fix something for you, Pop. I'll fix my own stuff.
Hey, that's not funny, Lamar. What's not funny?
You back that truck over my head.
Come on, let me help you.
Okay, just to the kitchen. All right.
Are we there yet?
No, not yet.
Almost. Almost, Pop.
Oh, my.
Oh, my.
What's the matter, Pop?
I just hate to be a burden to you.
Hey, would you stop talking like that?
Yeah.
I don't need you, Pop.
I heard you say it out of your mouth. I heard you.
Talk with lips.
I'm losing my mind.
You're not losing your mind, Pop. You just got a hangover. Now, come on.
Yeah, and I want you to help me get rid of it. All right. Here.
I'm going to tell you what I want you to do.
Listen.
Give me some tomato juice and a raw egg. Right.
Oh. Tomato juice and a raw egg. Yeah.
This is what you did.
This is what you did.
This is awesome.
And it's in the basket.
Hey, where's my prune juice?
Prune juice?
I'll get my prune juice.
Oh, it's all in the pillow.
Here you go.
Let me over there a second. Get you the vodka.
The vodka?
Yeah.
I just need a smidgen of vodka.
You know what I mean?
Just enough to wake up the flavor.
What do you call that?
A bloody mess.
Would you mind telling me what you heard that made you so upset?
I didn't need Pop.
I didn't miss Pop.
I heard you now. Don't deny it. I won't, Pop. Look, Grady overheard us talking,
and he heard me telling you that I don't need him around here. He heard me say
that, and so to keep from hurting his feelings, I lied to him and told him
he was just as important around here as you are. And that's the truth, Pop.
Well, how did I know you're not lying to me about lying to him about lying to
me?
Say that again.
I can't.
Look, Pop, I need you here. Now, please, just believe me.
Why should I?
Because I'm your son.
I am your son, aren't I?
Of course you're my son.
Why else would you be right here 32 years free?
Look, all I was trying to do was make Grady feel good, Pop. And if that was
wrong, then it's not my fault. It's your fault because you always told me that I
should be concerned about other people's feelings.
And you gave me warmth and sensitivity.
But if I gave you all that stuff, I ain't got nothing left for myself.
So you believe me, Pop?
I believe you. Hey, thanks a lot. And I'm sorry that I ruined the party last
night, son.
Hey, that's okay, Pop. But in the future, when Aunt Esther and your
over here, just try and be a little more understanding.
I will.
And a little kinder. I sure will.
What does that stuff taste like?
Well, it tastes like... Did you ever taste casserole?
And clapper?
and spoiled pig snoot.
Mix that all together and spray it with rain and throw it in some degraded socks
and then have some paint.
That's what it tastes like.
But son, my headache's gone.
coffee fuel any better?
Will you stop shouting?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know what, son? I'm going to show you
I can cook better than Grady.
Hey, man, you ain't got to prove nothing to me. You're my punk.
I know that, but I learned something today.
To give instead of take.
I'm going to be a giver, not a taker. Now, that's the way I like to hear my
man talk.
You know what? I'm going to start tonight.
I'm going to cook you a great big turkey with two kinds of sausage and three
kinds of vegetables.
Hey, man, a meal like that will cost a fortune. It would be cheaper for me to
take you out to dinner.
No, that would make you the giver and me the taker. See, I'm going to be the
giver and you the taker.
Yeah, but it's too late to start cooking a meal like that, Pop.
Hey, I know. I'll call up Jacob's Soul Food and tell him I'm going to bring you
over there for dinner around 8 o 'clock.
I told him we'd be there at 7.
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