All language subtitles for Sanford & Son s03e18 The Party Crasher

I'm going to Kansas City.

Kansas City, here I come.

They got some pretty little women.

I'm gonna get me one.

Wow!

Kansas City comes in my room.

Twelve feet and five.

Hey, Pop, what's that I smell?

Oh, it's a whole weekend of good eating
here.

It's a French dish that I learned to
cook from the galloping gourmet.

You want to know what it's called?

No. Beef borgianini.

Look, you can smell it.

Oh, that is strong.

Oh, that's the onion you smell. He got
18 onions in it.

Well, how come it's got so many onions
in it? Well, see, that's the way the

French like to cook.

You know the funny way they talk through
their nose?

See,

there's onions in there to help open up
their sinuses.

Yeah, well, just keep the lid on it,
man, because it's blowing up the whole

house. It's not my cooking that's
smelling up the house. That's you

the house. What's that you got on that
foo -foo juice?

It's a new men's cologne.

Still smell like foo -foo juice.

Hey, man, it's the latest thing out, and
it's called slinky because it slinks

across the room and sneaks up on the
women.

Yeah. It might slink, but it still
stinks.

This shit's called a stinky slinky.

Say, why you wearing it anyway?

Hey, man, all uptown dudes are wearing
it. Rollo gave it to me. He ought to

know. Oh, what are you talking about?

Rollo gave it to you.

Rollo ain't no uptown dude. He's a
downtown dud.

Anyway, why you always hang out with
him?

You're just trying to start an argument,
Pop, because you don't dig Rallo. Rallo

is my partner, and he knows where it's
at.

Well, I'll give you knows where it's at
as long as it's where it's at and here.

Well, you don't have to worry about
that.

I'll get it.

Yeah, slink on out there, stinky, and
get the door.

Hey, Rallo, I see you got yourself a few
new threads.

Now, baby, this is the whole...

the other night that it burned holes in
the pockets of my old ones, so I had to

buy some new ones.

That better cost a lot of breath.

Hey, I was heading it out by the loaf.

Hey, but looky here.

The celebration has just begun. What are
you doing tonight?

Nothing. Wrong.

You talked me into it. Hey, we're going
to have a ball.

I got it all laid out. Hey, baby, I'm
all ears. You better be, because I got

wild ones in just from Detroit.

Ooh, Cincinnati.

Yes, indeed. These two gave it that
reputation.

They are two sisters who are thirsty,
sexy, and ready to enjoy.

You better get on out of here.

Just tell me the where and the when. I
already know how.

Hey, the ball is on.

I'm with you, brother. The win is
tonight. I'm still with you. The where

here. You just lost me.

I knew it was too good to be true.
What's wrong?

Hey, man, we can't have it at your
place.

Oh, man, we can't have nothing like
that, you know, at my place. It's too

Yeah, but it's not going to work having
it here, Rollo. Man, sure it will. You

got the kitchen for the booze and the
snacks. You got the big living room for

the party.

And you got all other kind of room for
privacy.

Privacy? You can't have no privacy with
my old man around.

If you locked yourself in the closet and
turned out the lights, you couldn't

have no privacy.

He'd be spying on you through the
keyhole.

I got it all planned out.

What is this?

For a cruise, you know, up and down the
coast.

A cruise?

Yeah. It takes all night and ends up in
Catalina for some early Sunday morning

fishing. We can put your old man on the
boat and forget about him until

tomorrow.

Hey, Rollo, it just might work, man,
because he digs going fishing. Hey, man,

know it'll work. Well, go ahead, then.

Hey,

look here.

What's going on in here? Uh, it's Rollo,
Pop.

Yeah, no kidding.

I thought it was a bedspread.

Rollo's got some good news for you.

You moving to Australia?

No.

No. Oh, that's the only good news Rollo
could have for me. Well, go ahead,

Rollo. Tell him. Hey, look here.

Pop, Rollo has got some tickets for you
for a midnight cruise up the coast to

Catalina. I got two in case you want to
take a free one.

What's all this stuff about a cruise up
to Catalina? Well, it's all right here

in the brochure. Just listen to this.
Yeah, listen to this.

Cruise the colorful coast and fill your
night with hours of concentrated fun.

You hear that, Pop? Hours of
concentrated fun. Yeah. Play

stars. Hey, shuffleboard under the
stars. Right on, yeah.

See the flying fish. Hey, see the flying
fish.

Uh -huh. Watch the Big Dipper. Watch the
Big Dipper. Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, that brochure must have came
with Echo.

Hey, Pop, look here, man. You're going
to love this.

Yeah, Pop, you end up at Catalina for
some early Sunday morning fishing for

yellowtail. Let me ask you a question.

While I'm out there on the boat chasing
yellowtail, what y 'all gonna be

chasing?

Well, see, Pop, Rallo and I are gonna
level with you. Now, we are celebrating

little good fortune that he just
recently came into.

And see, we got these two chicks lined
up, and we wanted to use the house here

for a party tonight, you know?

Is that all it is? Hey, that's all.

Well, listen, why don't you say so?

You mean you don't mind?

No, I don't mind.

You hear that, Rollo? Pop don't mind.
Hey, this calls for a toast. Right on,

Pop. Because you on the top. Well,

I drink to that.

I drink to anything.

Hey, all systems are gold.

Yeah, you know I like a party so much?
Here, take these tickets. I'm going to

stay home and help out.

All systems just stopped.

No, man, that ain't what we had in mind.
We only got two chicks lined up. Yeah,

and we really didn't plan on you being
at the party. Well, it's my house. I

should be at the party. And I got a pot
of stew and some ripple.

Ripple? Uh -huh. Are you kidding?

I got a fancy wine called Beaujolais.
All right, then.

Beaujolais?

Beaujolais. Well, we'll just pour it in
the ripple and call it Beaujolippo.

And we don't want no onion stew. Well,
we got to eat something.

Come on in the kitchen and smell it.
Hey, man, we don't want to smell no

We got something to eat. We got snacks.
We got potato chips and peanuts and clam

dip and all that kind of good stuff.
Well, it might give you appetite for

of this stew.

Smell it.

Dang!

Hey, Pop.

What Rollo is trying to say is that the
food is not that important.

It's not? No, you see, this is the 20th
century, man. Food is out, love is in.

Yeah. Well, I thought you needed the
food part to have strength to take care

the love part.

All right, let me put it another way.
You see, Pop, what you like and what we

like is two different things.

You wouldn't fit in at this party
because you don't have nothing in common

the chicks that we got lined up.

Well, I eat and drink and I dance.

What do these chicks do?

Well, they do stuff like that, too. It's
just that you're from another

generation, man, and the food that you
eat and the drinks that you drink and

dances that you dance are different from
what they do. I mean, you'd be out of

place at this party.

No, I wouldn't. Yeah, these two are
live, wild, with no insulation.

They're red, hot, and ready. You know
what I mean?

Yeah, you just wouldn't fit in.

Why don't you just take these two
tickets and go on that boat ride like a

old man and watch the Big Dipper?

Man. I ain't going nowhere. I'm staying
right here. Damn a dipper.

I should have known you was gone,
Master. Come on, Rallo. Hey, Rallo. I

have known you was gone. Look here.

Look here, baby brother. Let's just go
ahead and have the party at your crib,

here. No, man, I told you it's too
small.

Rallo, it's either your place or a park
bench.

Now, at least we won't have Pop to worry
about.

Yeah, okay, okay. All right, now go
ahead with the plans, and I'll see you

the pad, here. Right on, then.

Boat ride with somebody, fall off the
boat, some sharks eat me up.

Can't nobody find me but Jack Gusto.

You had to do it, didn't you? You'd
never want to cooperate.

My home, I can stay if I want to. Yeah,
but all we wanted to do was have a

party, man, and you messed it up.

So you're going to call it off, huh? Oh,
no, we're not calling it off. We're

going to have it at Rollo's pad.

It's a little small and inconvenient,
but at least we'll have some privacy.

Or you just have me there so you can get
away from me. If you want to put it

that way.

What else?

That's what you're doing.

I don't care. You don't make me angry.
Listen, you go ahead to Rollo's. Stay

night if you want to. You can stay there
forever if you want to. I don't care.

You don't think I could?

I don't care.

Hey, man, Rollo's asked me plenty of
times to come and live with him, and I

think it will work out because we're
good friends and we got a lot in common.

I know one thing y 'all got in common.

Both of y 'all are big dummies.

Go ahead. Who needs you?

All right, I'm going. I'm going to pack
my things, and we're going to have the

party there, and then after that, I'm
going to stay there. I don't need you.

Good, good. Congratulations. Get to
moving. I don't need you.

I mean, who needs an ungrateful son
around them?

After all, I built this empire here for
you.

And look what happened.

Look what happened.

First time you run into a guy with two
chicks in you, and a bottle of that

Bougier, uh, Bougier, uh, oh, get the
hell out of here.

I'm going now, Pop.

Did you hear what I said?

I said I'm going now.

Is there anything you want me to do
before I split?

Yeah. Here, take this with you.

What is it?

It's something where you can remember me
by because you might forget what I look

like.

Hey, come on, Pop.

See here?

It's a picture of you when you were
five.

That's me standing next to you with my
head cut off.

What do I need a picture like that for?
Oh, you might forget what I look like.

Me, the man who's been a father to you,
and a mother, and an uncle, and an

auntie, and a cousin, and a nephew.

I've been a whole damn family to you.

Here, take it. Okay, I'll take it.

Yeah, take it.

Maybe you can pin it up on the wall, and
when somebody asks you, who is that?

You can tell them.

That's my father, and mother, and
brother, and uncle, and auntie.

And cousin.

And chauffeur. All right. All right.
Landlord. All right.

Now, look, I'll just be living with
Rollo, and I'll be coming here every day

just like a regular job.

It won't be the same, because you'll be
living with me like I'm the boss. It

won't be like we're partners no more.

And next thing you know, you'll join
some union.

What union?

I don't know. Son of a junk dealer's
union.

Then you're going to strike.

And you'd be outside there with signs
saying, Sam and his son unfair.

No, it'd just be Sam and his son unfair.

And his son would be Cam the picket
sign.

Hey, man, I don't want to hear no more
of this.

Well, listen, you don't have to go just
because I said you couldn't have the

party. What if I said you could have the
party and I didn't mention it?

Hey, what you say and what you do are
always two different things.

Oh, really? I don't interfere. You go
ahead and have the party with the pretty

girl, and I'll go upstairs.

And I won't even peep.

And if I do peep, I won't laugh.

Hey, Pop, I'm not just leaving because
of the party, man. I think I'd be better

off if I was living with somebody closer
to my own age.

Well, I'd like to be closer to your age
if I could, but I can't.

See, in order for me to be closer to
your age, I'd have to marry your mother

when I was seven.

And I couldn't do that.

Because she wasn't born yet.

Well, so long, Pop. I'll see you later.

Listen, son.

Wait a minute. What if I have a heart
attack?

It's going to be difficult to try to
dial you with this author writer.

You're not going to have a heart attack.

But what if I do have one and I can't
reach you in time?

We might as well say goodbye now.

Hey, Pop, you're going to be fine, man.

I told you a long time ago, let's get a
dog.

If we had a dog, I wouldn't be alone.

Hey, man, I'm leaving, Pop, and that's
all there is to it. Now, if you need me

for anything, I'll be at Rallo's.

Bye, Pop.

Yeah, go ahead, then.

Bye.

Go ahead to Rallo's and have your little
old party.

I don't need you. I got plenty of
friends.

I got friends I've had all my life.

I called Brady.

Brady never let me down.

The whole family let you down. He was
strange to me.

Shucks. I know how to...

I got a big pot of onions, too, and some
ripples.

Why don't you come on over?

Would you like to come on over?

You're king.

You what?

And she got a girlfriend?

Well, listen, Grady, why don't the two
of y 'all come on over here and we can

celebrate over here?

Oh, no?

Well, listen, suppose I come over to
your place.

See, I can get over to your place in
about, hello?

A pot of stew and a bottle of Ripple.

I'm having me a party.

I know where I'm having it.

Hey, hey, father, this is going to be
great, huh?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

What do you mean you guess so? What's
wrong with you?

Well, I keep thinking about how my old
man looked when I split, you know?

Oh, man, quit thinking about that. Most
cats cut out when they're 16, and you've

got to cut out sometime.

How old are you?

Thirty -one.

What you waiting on, Medicare?

Come on, man. Get your mind off the old
man and come on over and put it where it

belongs, on the checks.

Right, on the checks.

Hey, now that we're roomies, we can do
this stuff all the time, huh? Yeah, this

calls for a toast.

Right. Here's to us and the girls.

Angel and Della. And here's to me, a
mellow fella.

Mm -mm.

Wow, let's have a ride. Oh, yes.

I'm looking.

Right on.

I want in here.

Hey, hey.

Come on in, girls. Beautiful. Meet
Lamar, my friend. This is Angel. This is

Della. Pleasure's all mine, ladies.

Nice to know you.

Would you ladies like to step this way?
And we can sit down and get cozy.

All right.

Here you go, ladies.

What's that?

Peanuts, potato chips, and clam dip. Dig
in.

you take to the zoo to feed the animals.

Hey, baby, that's all we got.

You got to be jiving.

Hey, you told us we were going to do
stuff eating, drinking, and dancing

tonight. Hey, I did, Mama, but that
didn't mean we was going out, you know,

nothing like that, you know? I just
thought we'd have, you know, a few

and a few snacks here and stuff.

Honey, if this is California living, I
can't wait to get back to Detroit. Wait

minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I
got an idea.

Do you like to dance?

I love to dance. Why?

Well, see, we could dance now and worry
about eating later.

Well, where we gonna dance?

Right here.

You must be kidding.

This place is too small to dance in.

Well, we could do the slower dances.

The old belly rubbing cast?

Uh -uh.

Let's go.

We have a few drinks. Yeah. And then we
can make plans as we go.

Huh? Well, I could use a drink.

Oh, me too. I could use a bunch of them.
Yeah.

What is this?

Boujolais.

and just relax for a minute. And Lamont,
you know, I'm happy, man.

Well, why don't you take it home and put
it in the freezer, all right? No, this

is Stu.

He's eating when it's hot and I when
it's cold. And it's enough here for

everybody. Hello, Rallo.

How's my good friend Rallo?

Hello, ladies.

Who's this?

This is Fred Sanford, my father.

Sanford's son.

Oh, what you got in the pot, Pop?

It's just some soup that I fixed. And I
was sitting home alone. I thought I'd

bring it over.

Y 'all didn't eat yet, did you?

No. All we had was peanuts.

and potato chips.

Oh, that ain't no good food. That's the
kind of stuff you take to the zoo to

feed animals.

Look here.

Smell this.

Oh, is that onion soup?

Yeah. Oh, I just love onion soup.

Boy, I'm hungry enough to eat that whole
cup.

That's good.

It's a good feeling to know somebody's
enjoying your cooking while you're at

home all alone, lonesome, and by
yourself.

Well, wait. Now, you can't just leave
all this here and go home alone and

Yes, you can, girls. You love doing
that, don't you, Pop? Well, good night,

No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Look
here. Wait a minute. Let me serve it,

then I'll leave in a little bit.

I'll just serve it to you.

Y 'all got anything to drink?

No. All we had was some French furniture
polish.

Barouge your leg, Pop.

Hey, look here. Reach inside my coat
here.

Reach right in there.

Enjoy yourself.

Yeah, you do that. Well, good night,
Pop. Yeah, good night, Pops, and thanks

the food.

Can't you just stay a bit?

What would I do here with you young
people?

Well, we were just about to dance.
Couldn't you stay and have a little

You young girls wouldn't be interested
in my kind of dancing and old stuff like

the boogie -woogie and the applejack and
trucking. Uh -huh,

come on, show up. Yeah, give us a
demonstration. No, you don't want to do

Good night, Pop.

I got to show them. That's right.

See, first I'll show you the boogie
-woogie. See, do -do -do.

Oh, Bob, go, get down.

Oh, yeah, yeah, go.

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
You just got to go. Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, come on now, darling. Hey, let me
try that.

Yeah, I did it, boogie -woogie.

Boogie, boogie.

Hey, man, he's doing it to us again,
ain't he? Sure is.

So what are we going to do now? You
still got them tickets for that cruise?

What am I doing home?

I thought you were staying at Rollo's.
Yeah, I was, but I decided to come home,

and I thought you'd be glad to see me.
You are glad to see me, aren't you?

Well, yes and no.

What does that mean?

Yes, I'm glad to see you, but no, I'm
not too happy about seeing you right

Why? You and Rollo got nowhere you can
go?

Why? What's going on here? What's all
this?

Well, see, Grady and I, we're going to
have a little party here. We're

company. And we wanted a little privacy.

Hey, you don't have to worry about me.
I'm just going upstairs and staying. No,

no, no.

I'd rather you go out. It's my company
now. Oh, I'll stay right here. No, no,

you can leave as they're coming in.
That'd be a better way.

Come right in, ladies.

Make yourself comfortable.

Hey, darling.

Lamont. He was just leaving. Hi, ladies.

Well, can't I just stay for a little
while and watch?

Let's go ahead, son.

Everything's lovely. I'll see you later
on. These girls don't drink your kind of

drink, dance your kind of dance, eat
your kind of cookie.

Bye. I know, but see, I want to say...
No, bye, nothing.

Goodbye.

Well, now, ladies, we had a great
dinner, but before we start anything,

work up a little appetite.

Would you like to dance?

Come on, darling.

Oh, boogie, boogie.

Say, boogie, boogie.

Sun for the Sun is recorded on tape for
a live studio audience.