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Hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah

don't know where we're goin' or where we been

hallelujah trail

it's written in the dust and blown by the wind

hallelujah trail

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah trail

you can't tell a horse from a stubborn mule

hallelujah trail

you can't tell a hero from a doggone fool

hallelujah trail

hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah trail

love a woman, and she'll love you

hallelujah trail

just do unto her like she wants you to

hallelujah trail

there ain't no such thing as a perfect man

hallelujah trail

you girls gotta do the best you can

hallelujah trail

hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah trail

hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah trail

the girls are sweet as sugar candy

hallelujah trail

but look out, boys, their lips are Sandy

hallelujah trail

hallelujah

early in the mornin' almost day

hallelujah trail

rise and shine, we're on our way

hallelujah trail

hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah trail

hallelujah

Hallelu

hallelujah

trail

The land at first.

Mountains thrust forth

from the molten darkness of the earth.

Mountain and valley.

The virgin west.

High plateau...

And red rock of sandstone.

Wilderness west.

Prairie land rolling on and on

to the end of sight.

Oh, pioneer west.

What fervent dreams lay half buried in this land of promise?

Dreams crushed by a cruel nature

or the Lance of an Indian warrior.

Every page in history must have its beginning,

and ours takes us to the year 1867.

An army that had fought in the war between the states,

that had bravely battled in many an Indian campaign,

now patrolled the west in a time of peace

with ever-present thoughts of home.

The Indian was back on the reservation

had met with various warlike tribes

and secured certain promises from them.

In return, papers were given the Indians,

certifying them to be good citizens

who would obey the laws of the land.

Many gifts were distributed...

Beads...

Pieces of cloth...

Ammunition...

And war surplus rifles.

Naturally, these rifles were quite unfamiliar to the Indians.

And of course, it was understood

these weapons were to be used

solely for the purpose of hunting game.

The leaves turned early in that year.

It could be a long, hard winter.

The signs were everywhere.

In the high country, the morning frost

would sometimes last until afternoon.

Buffalo were feeding ravenously.

Beaver were damming and storing with strange vigor.

Horses and dogs were becoming shaggy-haired as never before.

And it could be sensed in the booming, bustling mining town of Denver.

Most historians agree that the events

leading to the battle of whiskey hills

and the subsequent disaster at quicksand bottoms

began here in Denver, at a miners' meeting.

Such meetings were frequent and held usually

as part of the political fabric of the town.

But the meeting of November 4th

had a marked air of grim foreboding.

Quiet! I got an announcement I got to make.

Quiet! I got an announcement I got to make.

In 10 days from now,

the city of Denver will be bone-dry.

No!

Not one drop of whiskey anywhere.

Speak up! We can't hear you!

I said the city of Denver will be bone-dry in 10 days!

No!

You heard what I said.

I said plumb out, and I mean out!

Oh, now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I thought Bert Keeler was gettin' in a big order,

but he was down sick with the ague,

and he thought Sam bufford was gettin' his 60 barrels,

but Sam got his foot caught in that bear trap,

and he didn't tell Shelby to go ahead with his 50 barrels, so...

So with 4 big orders out of reach,

there ain't nobody else put in.

Now, take this here saloon alone.

That's all there is.

Look at it!

And keep in mind there's already been snow flurries along gunner's pass,

and if we get ourselves a hard, cold winter,

there won't be a wagonload of whiskey in Denver till next spring!

And it could be a late spring.

Hold it.

So what we need, we need us a plan.

Hey...

What does oracle say?

Afternoon, gents.

Oracle,

what about this here winter?

The, uh, buffalo are feedin' ravenous.

The beaver are workin' somethin'® fierce.

The horses and dogs are growin' shaggy-haired

like never before.

What else?

Have you seen anything else?

Yep. I had me a vision on, uh...

Oh, it come on me 2 days ago.

Well? What was it?

What'd you see?

Uh...

Oh. Why, thank you.

At the feed store, it was,

and it come on more sudden than most.

I was lookin' up, and there...

There it was. What was it?

Snow.

Heavy white snow.

Yep, it's gonna be a long, hard winter,

and when a long, hard winter hits us,

by damn, she hits.

No wagons gettin' through? No supplies?

And no whiskey.

You know? Yep.

It come on me 2 days ago. We got to have a plan.

- Yeah. - What kind of plan, oracle?

Uh, now, let me just...

Oh, oh, thank you.

Hallelujah

there! Now I see it!

I see all of us coming together. I, um...

I see us, uh,

puttin' all the whiskey orders

into one big shipment for the whole winter.

I see us gettin' an ironclad guarantee from, uh...

From some good company, like, uh, uh...

Uh... thank you.

Like, uh, frank wallingham's...

To get them drinkables to our saloons right now before the snows hit.

I, uh...

I see a wagon train,

a whole wagon train loaded up with whiskey

and comin' down on us from julesburg.

I see 20, uh...

30...

40 wagons.

Are you hobbs?

I am, sir.

Did you print that?

I did, sir.

And who, may I ask, are you?

Frank wallingham.

I see. How do you do?

Won't you sit down, Mr. wallingham?

No. I want to know why. Why did you do it?

I've done nothing but print the truth.

A matter of 600 barrels of Philadelphia-brewed whiskey moving from here to Denver.

Yes. And then what happens when the Indians

get wind of 40 wagons full of firewater, huh?

They'll scalp us from head to foot.

Indians don't read newspapers.

Who says they don't?

The Indian problem's all settled, Mr. wallingham.

Haven't you read the report of the peace commissioners?

All right then, worse than Indians!

Revenue agents!

Oh.

Haven't paid your federal taxes, huh?

Of course I pay my taxes! I'm an honest businessman...

And a good republican!

But you give those snoopers one taste of honey

and they'll come swarming down on you from every direction but up,

and they're working on that!

You have my sympathy.

Sympathy. Ha ha.

Just because I wouldn't advertise in your filthy rag,

because I wouldn't let you blackmail me into giving you free whiskey!

- You better get out of here. - Now, you listen to me.

I've got every cent that I own tied up in this cargo

and by damn, I'm gonna see it gets to Denver personally!

- You can print that, sir. - I shall.

And I'm also sending a telegram

to colonel gearhart at fort Russell.

I am demanding an entire troop of United States cavalry as escort.

Print that, sir.

- I shall. - Good.

Well, you should also put in your paper that I say

that any tax snooper, white road agent, or red Indian

that tries to come near my wagons

had better be wearing his cast-iron underwear.

And if you try to blackmail me one more time,

I'll come back here, and I'll cram this down your lyin' throat!

Good day, sir!

- Smythe. - Yes, sir?

What's the name of that, uh, temperance woman?

Martindale?

Massingale, sir. Cora Templeton massingale.

Oh, yes. Massingale.

Do you know where she is?

On a tour of new england last month, sir,

then from Boston to Philadelphia

and from Philadelphia to Trenton, I think.

She may be a female hellcat about whiskey, sir,

but a fine figure of a woman with eyes...

Smythe.

- Sir? - I asked you where she is.

Oh. At, uh, fort Russell, sir.

She got there yesterday.

Fort Russell?

Send a telegram to her. Mark it urgent.

The editor of the julesburg gazette

was quite right.

Indians did not read newspapers.

It's a matter of speculation, therefore,

just how they did hear of the whiskey cargo.

There were couriers, of course.

And there was the smoke signal...

First used by the ancient greeks and hebrews.

How the Indians acquired it from them

is of no importance here, but they did.

Nor was smoke used exclusively.

A crude mirror...

Painted stone...

Carved bark of trees were quite popular...

And a peculiarly knotted string.

The message was always transmitted in code,

a code which no white man was ever able to break.

Regardless of what method was used by the Indians,

it's a matter of record that news of the whiskey train

became common knowledge within 48 hours

to every tribe of every north American plains Indian.

We are still quite unaware why only one tribe

rode out to investigate the train of firewater,

but it's to be supposed there was some competition

among the various tribes for the honor.

Itis for us

to make reconnaissance of wagon train position.

It is for me to make such reconnaissance.

He is chief of sioux.

And I am chief of crow.

We will do it.

You will not do it. I will do it.

You and I are blocked.

Yes, we are.

Authorities agree that personal disputes

among the plains tribes were settled very quickly.

Just south of Cheyenne stood fort Russell,

famous throughout the west as a bastion of military strength

and the home of the rugged, disciplined frontier soldier.

Stand up, stand up and sing it

beat it on the drums

stand up, stand up and sing it

down with demon rum

stand up, stand up and sing it

raise your banners high

victory is coming

victory is nigh, believers

victory is nigh

and now, ladies, I give you once again...

Mrs. Cora Templeton massingale!

Yay!

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Your reception has warmed my heart.

Ladies, you have heard it said that...

That man is all mouth and muscle, that he is...

Is dirty boots on one end and a dirty mind on the other.

Well, don't you believe it.

If we are to enjoy equal rights with man, then we must respect him,

and if we are to respect him, then we must save him

from himself and from the poison of alcoholic spirits!

Do you agree?

Yes!

Then let the world know it.

Let us spread the word of emancipation

to every corner of this great nation.

Emancipation! Let me hear it!

Emancipation!

Freedom for women!

Shout it out, ladies!

Women can remake the world!

Women can remake the world!

Mine eyes have seen the glory

of the coming of the lord

he is trampling out the vintage

where the grapes of wrath are stored

he hath loosed the faithful lightning

of his terrible swift sword

his truth is marching on

glory, glory, hallelujah

his truth is marching on

ladies,

let me hear it!

Emancipation!

Shout it out!

Freedom for women!

Once again!

Women can remake the world!

What do you make of it, sergeant?

I hate to say it, colonel, but it sounds like...

Sioux or Cheyenne war cries to me, sir.

An uprising at the fort?

Ridiculous.

Yes, sir.

I can read his righteous sentence

by the dim and flaring lamp

his truth is marching on

those are bugles, sir!

Glory, glory, hallelujah

his truth is marching on

Glory, glory, hallelujah

his truth is marching on...

That's Cannon, sir!

Form a skirmish line to the left!

Form a skirmish line to the left! Ho!

In the beauty of the lilies

Christ was born across the sea

with a glory in his bosom

that transfigures you and me...

Draw carbines! Ho!

Company "b" returning. Open the gates.

His truth is marching on

glory, glory, hallelujah

my god, she's on fire, sir!

Charge!

Glory, glory, hallelujah

his truth is marching...

You.

Good evening, colonel.

Bandmaster, front and center.

You're under arrest.

This entire band is under arrest.

You're confined to quarters until further notice.

Dismissed!

Now, who are the idiots who fired those Cannon?

Private Johnson! Private Williams!

You'll report to my quarters tomorrow morning at 9:00.

Yes, sir!

Brady.

Return carbines. In file, prepare to dismount.

Dismount!

Madam...

Article 12, section 7, paragraph 2,

army regulations specifically states

government property cannot be used for political demonstrations.

Sir, we have never designated our movement to be political.

Article 9, section 2, paragraph 4

of army regulations clearly states that civilian meetings

may be held at military installations

when permission has been granted by the commanding officer.

The commanding officer?

I see.

You'll forgive me, madam. We've been on patrol for 6 days.

I'm somewhat weary.

You say captain slater gave you permission in my absence?

He did.

Brady, I want this mess cleaned up immediately. - Yes, sir.

Ladies, I see you have transport.

You'll be escorted back to town.

The party will leave in 5 minutes exactly.

Do I assume, madam, you have quarters here this evening?

I have.

Then you may retire to those quarters, madam,

and remake the world on some other occasion.

Good evening.

- Buell. - Sir!

Buell, get me captain slater.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, sir, did the colonel wish to see me?

Where the hell did you come from?

I couldn't help but overhear, sir.

And I want the colonel to know that...

What happened tonight, the way it happened,

happened so quickly that I hardly had time to marshal my forces.

Did you or did you not give that woman

permission for her temperance rally?

Yes and no.

Uh, that is, I had no idea it would get out of hand, so to speak, sir.

What the hell did you expect?

Give a woman an acorn, next thing you know,

you're up to your rump in oak trees.

That's very true, sir.

And I am sorry.

If only they hadn't started moving, uh...

That is to say, marching.

Led by the fort Russell band.

Oh, I'd say that Mrs. massingale led them and the band came next.

You see, they were playing the, uh...

Battle hymn of the Republic,

and every time they got to...

Hallelujah

boom!

Well, I'm sorry, sir, about the men who fired the cannons.

Spare me the details.

Slater, don't you realize what would happen

if word got out that fort Russell

stood squarely behind a temperance movement?

That I, a line officer, could ever support such a movement?

Well, you've got a point there, sir.

And you let them go right ahead.

Well, I, uh...

Actually, I was trying to keep the colonel's daughter out of it,

for your sake.

My daughter? What's my daughter got to do with this?

Well, your daughter...

Please...

I beg you not to hold Paul responsible, father. Louise.

It was my fault. I was the one who...

She was not... And I refuse to allow her

to accept responsibility for this. I was the one...

- You were not. - Yes, I was.

Paul, I deny it.

In my own quarters.

We are sorry, father, truly we are,

but...

But what? But...

But may I point out, sir, that...

You have the only private quarters at the fort,

and we didn't expect you back so soon...

And whereas it's true that miss gearhart

does have her own quarters, sir,

I thought that my presence there

might put the colonel's daughter in a compromising position, so to speak,

and since my own quarters are shared, sir, but your quarters...

- Slater. - Yes, sir?

- Answer me. - I'm trying to, sir.

He isn't either, not truthfully.

He wasn't keeping me out of the temperance meeting here.

I was keeping him.

I thought he might try to stop the marching,

so this seemed to me a lovely...

I mean, a way...

To divert him.

Louise!

You don't really mind, do you, darling?

I mean...

You certainly couldn't have enjoyed yourself any the less, could you?

Louise!

Uh...

Well, I'd do anything for Cora massingale and her cause,

and if you hurt her, father, I'll never forgive you!

- Slater. - Yes, sir?

The women, the rally, the Cannon...

I'll chalk it all up to your inexperience.

Thank you, sir.

But you cannot...

You simply cannot use my quarters for...

- For this sort of thing. - I'm... I'm sorry, sir.

Why don't you just get on with it? Marry the girl.

Stop all this... This lying around.

Well, the colonel knows my feelings about that, sir.

The west is no life for a woman.

The west is no life for anyone.

Wind, dust, Indians.

I hate the wind, I hate the dust,

and I hate the Indians!

Yes, I know.

And until my transfer comes through to an eastern post, I'll...

I'll drink to that.

To you and Louise and a transfer.

Here you are.

I can't, sir.

Well, why not?

Well, I haven't said good night to Louise as yet.

The, uh, liquor on my breath.

She knows you drink. She knows I drink.

I know that, sir, but...

If you could have seen her at that meeting tonight

as she heard Mrs. massingale,

her eyes all lit up...

Frightened the hell out of me, sir.

All right, all right. Go to her. Do...

- Do whatever it is you do. - Thank you, sir.

But not on my bear rug. Not anymore.

No. No, sir.

Slater.

Here.

Escort for a wagon train.

Fella named wallingham. Taxpayer, good republican.

I want you to figure out how to intercept the train...

And escort them to Denver.

Denver?

But that'll take over a week. I promised Louise...

I know, I know. She'll cry, of course.

Just tell her duty is a cruel master.

Yes, sir.

Duty is a cruel... master.

Yes, sir. Thank you. Good night, sir.

Colonel gearhart?

Colonel?

Colonel?

I, uh...

I don't wish to intrude on your privacy, colonel, but this is vitally important.

I'm taking a bath.

Well, the sight of a gentleman taking his bath

is not foreign to a woman who's been widowed twice.

Well...

Uh, would you care to have a seat?

No, thank you. What I have to say is best said standing.

You'll forgive me if I don't get up.

It's not necessary.

Mrs. massingale,

I've already told captain slater

I won't hold him responsible due to his inexperience.

And in your case, I've written off the entire incident so now...

But that's not why I'm here.

I have just received a telegram from julesburg that distresses me deeply.

It says that a train of 40 wagons

left there yesterday bound for Denver

and that you are going to furnish military escort for that train.

Is that information correct?

I received a request to that effect, yes.

Were you aware, colonel,

that the cargo of those 40 wagons...

Is alcohol?

No, ma'am.

Well, now you know.

Tell me, colonel, are you going to furnish escort?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, I respectfully request that you reconsider, colonel.

L... in the name of suffering humanity,

I implore you to halt that wagon train

and destroy this... this poison that they're carrying.

Whad you asted...

What you ask is impossible.

The cargo is legal,

and I have no grounds nor wish to destroy civilian property.

And now, madam, will you leave me to my bath?

Is it legal to sell whiskey to Indians?

Who said ennydig...

Who said anything about Indians?

The cargo's headed for Denver

and consigned to businessmen there.

How do you know?

I have the owner's word for it.

A Mr. frank wallingham,

who happens to be an acquaintance,

a taxpayer, and a good republican.

Well, in that case...

You force me to take action.

Our movement has many friends in many high places.

Men such as...

Horace greeley.

Is that a threat?

You can consider it such if you like.

My conscience forces me to make it.

And mine demands that I do my duty.

So be it.

May I impose upon your kindness

for directions to the post telegraph office?

Mrs. massingale, I'll do better than that.

I shall be happy to furnish you transportation

to the Cheyenne telegraph office,

where your messages are sure to get out twice as quickly.

Thank you.

And call on me again if there's anything further I can do.

You're a very generous man, colonel.

Right turn...

Ho!

3 telegrams, sir. Just arrived.

Read them.

"The governor of Colorado

"is against liquor and its vicissitudes,

"but his position makes it impossible

"to take a position in the matter of whiskey cargo to Denver."

Ah.

"The adjutant general's office is ever grateful to women's temperance

"for the splendid morale factor they have upon the American soldier.

"However..."

"The disposition of whiskey matters

"must be left to commanders in the field."

"Respectfully..." ah.

"Mr. Horace greeley...

"Has ever championed the noble cause of temperance and suffrage,

"but is unable to interfere with constituted authority of the west."

Ah.

- Buell. - Sir.

Give these to Mrs. massingale with my compliments

and arrange transportation for her.

Her movement...

Is moving.

Yes, sir.

On the morning of November 16,

the wallingham wagon train was moving along

north of the south platte river.

At the head was its owner, frank wallingham,

and its wagon master, rafe pike.

To the rear was a group of Irish teamsters

under the leadership of one...

Kevin o'Flaherty.

The slater patrol was turning south

towards the course of the wallingham train,

and a band of sioux warriors was on the move,

led by the great chief five barrels

and his subchief, walks-stooped-over,

who was also known in certain Indian circles

as sky eyes,

due to the blue color of his eyes,

the heritage, apparently, of some slight, uh...

Um...

Oh, irregularity in his ancestry.

- Please father, be reasonable! - No.

Mrs. massingale wishes to have a farewell meeting,

she's welcome to use the mess hall,

but under no circumstances will I attend.

But we're not asking you to take the pledge, colonel,

although a bit of temperance might make you happier.

No red-blooded drinking man is more temperate than I am.

And I'm happy. I'm damn happy!

If you would only try to understand Mrs. Massingale,

a woman who's lost 2 husbands to alcohol.

They literally drank themselves into an early grave.

I can only wonder why.

Do you absolutely refuse, father, to attend this meeting?

I not only refuse,

but I'm beginning to regret giving you the hall.

Then the very least you can do is release the post band.

No.

But we can't sing any hymns without the band.

Good. - Then there's no point in having the meeting.

- Splendid. - Please, father...

It means so much to us.

And Mrs. massingale is leaving.

We may never see her again.

Can I depend on that?

Oh, I never go back on my word.

I shall say good-bye at the meeting.

Well...

Maybe the trombone.

Oh! Thank you, father, you're a dear!

And the drums?

No. No drums.

Good afternoon.

Stand up, stand up and sing it

raise our banners high

victory is coming

victory is nigh

believers

victory is nigh

stand up, stand up and sing it

what's going on over there?

Singing, sir.

You have guards at every exit?

Those were your orders, sir.

All right, you better double the guards.

Check the exits yourself.

If they ever break out of that hall in marching formation...

That's just what happened to captain slater.

Yes, sir.

Ladies...

Our enemy has 2 heads.

First, the enslavement of women by men.

Yeah! Yes!

And second,

the enslavement of men themselves

by the remorseless tyrant, alcohol.

Are we willing to fight these enemies?

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Then we must reach out for freedom

and tear this tyrant from the lips of man!

And now, ladies...

I have an announcement to make

to each and every one of you who has touched my heart.

The time has come for me to say good-bye

to all you wonderful women.

Thank god.

Something has occurred

which requires my presence elsewhere.

I am going to the city of Denver.

Denver?

I know, I know. You ask me, "why Denver?"

I'll tell you why:

Because 40 wagons of whiskey

are going to Denver right at this moment.

40 wagons of poison...

For those poor, misguided citizens,

and no one in high office seems to care!

Well, I do,

and I shall shout it over and over

until the very mountains of Colorado

come tumbling down to the Denver saloons.

Yeah! Yes! Yeah!

Will your hearts go with me?

Yes! Yes! Yeah!

Is our cause just and righteous?

Yes!

I've doubled the guards at every door, sir.

I want you personally to guard the main entrance.

Wait a minute...

Do I have your blessings?

Yeah!

No!

No, I cannot let you go to that sinful city alone.

If you'll have me, Mrs. Massingavle...

I'll go with you!

Get over there! Drag my daughter off that platform!

Oh, how wonderful, ladies!

Oh, ladies, we'll all go to Denver!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

We'll make it our marching song.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Stand up

we'll march to Denver

no more wine or beer

stand up, we'll march to Denver

we will have no fear

stand up, we'll march to Denver

raise our banners high

Denver, we are coming

Denver will be dry

believers

Denver will be dry

stand up and march to Denver

down with demon rum

stand up, we'll march to Denver

Denver, here we come

stand up, we'll march to Denver

raise our banners high...

Well, buell?

Denver, we are coming...

Just, uh...

Trying to get my wind back, sir.

Believers...

Knocked me flat, sir.

Denver will be dry

did you hear what that woman said, sir?

1 did.

But, sir...

"But, sir" what?

How can we let them go through with it, sir?

March to Denver through country like this,

without escort, without protection?

What if they come upon a bunch of bloodthirsty Indians, sir? I, uh...

I suggest we pray for the Indians.

To Denver...

Uh, can the...

The army refuse escort, sir?

From now on, the army will do what I tell it to do.

Denver will be dry

stand up

we'll march to Denver

down with demon rum

what, uh...

What do you intend to do, sir?

Denver, Denver will be dry

stand up, we'll march to Denver

raise our banners high

Denver, we are coming, Denver...

Believers...

Morning, miss gearhart.

Good morning, sergeant buell.

Go away.

Louise, will you please go away?

This should make you feel better, father.

Nice, hot milk.

Ohh...

What's going on out there?

Will you stop that infernal uproar?

You will not, under any circumstances,

go off with that... that woman.

Yes, father.

To Denver or any place else.

I want that clearly understood, Louise.

Yes, father.

Oh...

Now will you please leave me alone?

Oh...

Is he better?

I'm afraid not.

Louise, I want you to go and get me some more blankets.

Lots of them.

I want him to perspire.

We will sweat the poison out of his system.

Blankets... All right, Mrs. massingale.

- Mrs. massingale! - Lie back.

- Madam, this is... - Uh, back.

Now, just...

Quiet, please. Don't exert yourself.

Madam, we have a surgeon.

Mmm-hmm. Just relax. Let the blood flow.

The pain center lie about here?

Look, Mrs...

Well, it's a little higher.

A little higher? Yes, of course.

About this march, Mrs. massingale...

Just unwind.

This march to Denver...

Impossible.

Right here, at this junction, colonel,

a series of cords, and beneath them,

intertwined nerves like fine silk threads.

Matters of... Of transportation...

Rattlesnakes...

All connected up to here where the pain center lies.

Examine my position.

Consider, if you will...

Oh, that feels good.

That's the key point.

First we rub gently downwards...

And then upwards...

Oh... and then downwards again.

Now you're beginning to relax.

I can feel it in my fingers.

I wish I could help you, but...

Army regulations...

Article 12...

Section 26...

Paragraph...

Oh...

That's right.

Oh...

Relax.

Oh...

Relax...

Company, attention!

Company, ten-hut!

Good morning, colonel gearhart.

Good morning, father.

- Good morning, ladies. - Present arms!

Who are those men at the gate?

Just a few husbands, sir. Not all the ladies are single.

What do they want here?

Well, the ladies are taking their wagons away.

They're kind of worked up about it.

They, uh... want the colonel to do something about it, sir.

Sir. “Well?

Does the colonel intend...

I mean to say, sir, will the escort party...

Sir, do you really intend to go through with this thing?

Buell, you've got a great deal to learn about military science.

Sir?

A simple matter here of objective and stratagem.

Objective: Get rid of these damn women.

Stratagem?

- Take them to Denver, sir? - Mount up, buell. Mount up.

Yes, sir!

- Move them out, Brady. - Yes, sir!

Two's left...

Right turn...

Ho...

Right turn... ho...

Present arms!

Right turn... ho...

Left turn... ho...

To the right... ho...

To the left about...

Left... about... ho!

Detail... ho.

Stand up

we'll march to Denver

no more wine or beer

stand up

we'll march to Denver

no more whiskey here

stand up

we'll march to Denver...

- Buell! - Sir?

If one bugler, just one bugler

joins in with that singing, I'll have him shot.

Yes, sir.

Believers

Denver will be dry

stand up

we'll march to Denver

down with demon rum

stand up, we'll march...

It might be prudent right at this moment

to get our bearings upon this historic arena.

Julesburg is here.

To the southwest, along the south platte river, is the city of Denver.

North of it, we find fort Russell.

The wallingham wagon train had moved to this point on the river.

The first cavalry patrol under captain slater,

here.

The second cavalry patrol under colonel gearhart, here...

With, of course, the temperance marchers.

And the band of sioux Indians,

here.

In the city of Denver, another miners' meeting was being held.

Hold it! Quiet down!

This meeting's called to order.

Now, someone just tell me,

who called this meeting, what for,

and what's all the hollering about?

I did. Clayton,

we got to face the facts.

There's been no word from that wagon train in 2 weeks.

That's right.

There's snow on the ground already at grizzly pass.

Good afternoon, gents.

Oracle, the thing is, we, uh...

We got trouble. You know?

That wagon train may not ever get here.

Well, why not?

Why, thank you.

It was all set on coming to me.

Li, um... l was looking up

and, um... uh...

Thank you.

Hallelujah

there! Now I see it. “What?

Uh... Indians.

I see... hundreds of Indians.

You see anything else, oracle?

I think I...

Hallelujah

I see men!

- I see men on the march. - Cavalry?

Of course not. This ain't no time for children.

I see men, men carrying, uh...

Picks and, uh...

Axes and, uh...

Uh...

Um...

Shovels.

But who are they?

Denver citizens" militia.

Marching out there to intercept that wagon train

and see that whiskey gets home.

Hold on, oracle.

We're working men. We're miners.

We ain't Indian fighters, and I ain't going to go off

marching up any river, sleeping on a rock,

and cooking off campfires.

You going to spend the whole winter

in Denver without no whiskey?

At dawn, the morning of November 17,

the second cavalry patrol was heading due south for Denver...

With, of course, the temperance marchers.

The wallingham wagon train was turning west.

The first cavalry patrol was moving fast to intercept them,

the Denver citizens' militia was making

an easterly crossing of the south platte river,

while the sioux Indians were coming down from the north,

picking up more braves all the time.

Whoa! Whoa!

Beloved love of all the saints,

Saint pat and Mike and brigid

and all the souls in purgatory,

not again!

You call yourself a wagon,

you rotted wheel collection of wood,

you ain't fit for carrying swill to vultures!

Whoa!

All right, o'Flaherty,

what's your excuse this time, you ignorant immigrant lump?

Oh, lump, is it?

Oh, well...

All things being equal,

we'll be having a word with your lordship.

I told you I am not a lordship.

You can't expect an Irish serf to forget the habits of a lifetime, now, can you?

Just get on with it.

Well now, we, the Irish teamsters,

have a petition of grievances.

We state in plain and simple terms

the bad conditions under which we've been forced to labor.

"To wit.

"Travel hours and harnessin'.

"Unharnessin', carin' for horses,

"loadin', unloadin', beddin', guard duty,

"poor drinkin' water,

"order of wagons in march..."

And might I add, in addition to,

no whiskey ration whatsoever...

In awhole cargo of whiskey.

Ah...

Well, now, suppose these grievances of yours aren't answered?

What will you do? Strike?

Oh, that's a very ugly word to a working man, sir,

but it would be considered.

Ah! Well, in that case, o'Flaherty, you strike.

Strike.

And who might I ask, pray tell me,

are you going to get to drive your sweatin', rotten wagons?

There are your grievances.

We've struck off 12 more copies, exploiter! Capitalist!

- Yah! Yah! - Highbinder! Profiteer!

Mr. wallingham, I presume? That's right.

Captain slater at your service.

Colonel gearhart sends his compliments

and asks me to tell you that he's most happy

to comply with your request for escort to Denver.

Ah, good for colonel gearhart.

Now, tell me, have you seen any Indians?

A scout informed me...

Mr. wallingham, there aren't any Indians within 100 miles of here.

Haven't you heard of the peace commission?

With a cargo like this, you've got to be sure.

Damn sure!

Indians, revenue agents, temperance women.

Oh, you know. Know what?

About Cora massingale. “Where? Where?

It's all right. She's not here.

Cora massingale is at fort Russell giving temperance lectures.

Are you positive she's at fort Russell?

I can positively guarantee it.

Why, she isn't any nearer your cargo than...

Than the Indians are.

Hope it's hot.

Wait till we get you in here.

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Sergeant, I, uh...

We've got a morale problem, sir.

Take care of it, buell.

I think the colonel will have to root it out, sir.

Right at the core.

The ladies, sir, are taking baths...

In the nude.

Mrs. massingale, I'd like a word with you.

Would you mind calling some other time, colonel?

I'm taking a bath.

I am well aware that you're taking a bath.

I don't care how dirty you are,

I will not have you ladies bathing in the nude.

There's no other way I know of, colonel.

The opportunity presented itself,

and who knows what tomorrow might bring?

Especially now that we've changed our plans.

Changed your plans?

Yes, colonel.

You mean you... you want to go back to Cheyenne now?

Oh, don't be ridiculous. Of course not.

We want only to meet the wagon train.

But you are meeting the train.

That's why we're going to Denver.

But, we want to meet it long before it reaches Denver.

Well, that's not possible.

On the contrary, we now intend

to intercept the wallingham wagon train

along the river platte.

You what?

In a clash of wills, colonel,

he who shouts loudest is lost.

Madam...

If I understand you correctly,

you are planning to lead your ladies

through unsettled plains country

along the south platte river trail, is that correct?

Exactly.

And upon meeting the wagon train,

I surmise you plan to put on some sort of demonstration,

whose purpose is to turn back the train.

Precisely.

Very well. But if you think the United States army

is going to escort a bunch of harebrained females

across open desert,

bent on throwing themselves under horse teams,

you're gravely mistaken.

Very well.

I thank you for your many courtesies thus far,

but if you force us to go our way unescorted,

and any harm comes to us,

3 million infuriated women

will turn the war department upside down.

Mrs. massingale, if I could force you to do anything,

which obviously I cannot,

it would be to go home and stay home

where all decent women belong.

- Sergeant. - Sir.

- Damn it! - Yes, sir.

Sergeant, I want you to put some scouts

on the trail of those women tomorrow.

Have them keep in constant touch with this command.

We'll move in a somewhat parallel direction.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, sir, uh,

parallel direction?

Is that a new tactic, sir? I'm not acquainted with it.

It was well known throughout the war.

Yes, sir, of course.

What's it called, sir?

Called?

I mean, uh, what command shall I give the men,

uh, move in a somewhat parallel direction?

It's called... detached contact.

Detached contact!

And let it so be recorded

in the daily journal.

Yes, sir.

No documents can establish

just how the sioux formulated their plans,

although it's known that a plan was so formulated.

All we can do is surmise what was said.

White man win war.

Now we use white man's way.

You, chief walks-stooped-over,

with 20 braves, attack front of wagon train and draw off guard.

You, chief elks-runner,

with 20 braves, attack rear of wagon train

and draw off guard.

All other braves attack center of wagon train.

When long knives chase braves,

then, great chief five barrels and two brothers-in-law

circle around whole wagon train,

come in from southeast, grab last 3 wagons,

and go like hell, west.

In the morning, when the sun rises over iron mountain,

two hands high... attack!

If long knives capture braves,

show them paper. We good Indians.

No trouble.

Go back to reservation.

But before you go, don't forget to ask for presents.

In preparation for their attack,

the Indians took up three positions.

Here, here and here.

The wallingham wagon train was moving in this direction,

escorted by the first cavalry patrol.

The temperance marchers, having turned east,

were moving in this direction.

The second cavalry patrol under colonel gearhartit,

was maintaining detached contact.

The citizens' militia were now heading due north, at this position.

Obviously, a collision course for all concerned.

The day began with a sandstorm of disturbing proportions.

Hey, rafe. Rafe!

Rafe! Rafe!

- What? - Get them moved up back there.

Huh?

Let's get them wagons moved up!

- Huh? - Keep your eye on them irishmen.

What?

Watch out for them agitators.

- What? - Oh, shut up!

Arise! Break away now.

I think we're lost in the storm.

They'll have to give in to our demands.

Keep together, everybody, and keep moving.

Don't despair, we'll get through.

- Buell? - Sir.

Take a scout. Make contact with the women.

They may need help.

Sir, yes!

Oracle, can you see anything?

Nothing!

I mean in your mind.

I need whiskey.

Stand up, we'll march to Denver

for our cause is just

stand up, we'll march to Denver

to conquer sin and lust

stand up, we'll march to Denver

raise our banners high

Denver, we are coming

Denver will be dry, believers

Denver will be dry

stand up, we'll march to Denver

for our cause is just

stand up, we'll march to Denver

stand up, we'll march to Denver

raise our banners high

Denver, we are coming

Denver will be dry, believers

Denver will be dry

stand up, we'll march to Denver

raise our banners high

rafe! Rafe! Rafe!

Denver we are coming

Denver will be dry, believers

Denver will be dry

pretend we're lost!

We are lost!

Oracle, you sure you know where you're going?

I mean, you ain't lost?

Of course, I ain't lost.

Now, you just get behind me and keep goin...

Follow me, men!

Now, listen to me, you men.

We're gonna shelter from this dust and...

Oh, go on!

March to Denver

no more whiskey here

Hey.

Hey, hey, wait. Just...

Ladies, form a circle.

Rafe, rafe, rafe. Hey! Oh, rafe!

Rafe!

Is that gunfire? Huh?

I said, did you hear gunfire?

What?

Form a circle, damn it!

- Form a circle! - A circle!

Form a circle!

Form a circle!

Militia, form a circle!

Whoa! Whoa!

Take cover, ladies.

Keep firing!

Henry, take a squad!

Get over that Ridge!

Yes, sir!

Ho!

Protect your rear!

Fire!

Protect your other rear!

Fire!

Protect your rear!

Try this!

- Protect both rears simultaneously. - Ah.

It's Indians, sir! “What?

Indians, sir!

And they've got the women!

Good god!

Charge!

A great effort has been made to adhere

to the chronological events of this action.

But due to the poor visibility,

we are only able to approximate positions.

As the battle neared its climax,

we believe the wagon train was here.

The two elements of the first cavalry detachment

here and here.

The second cavalry detachment, here.

The women's temperance marchers here.

The Denver citizens' militia, uh, approximately here.

The Indians here, here, and...

Ahhh!

Here.

Itis not known what happened to the striking Irish.

To the best of our knowledge then,

these are the final positions in the engagement

that became known to history

as the battle of whiskey hills.

But, which of course, was as nothing

compared to the subsequent disaster at quicksand bottoms.

J hallelujah hallelu hallelujah

j hallelujah hallelujah j

j hallelujah hallelu hallelujah trail j

j hallelujah hallelujah j

j hallelujah hallelu j

j hallelujah trail j

It's a miracle.

1 beg your pardon, sir?

A miracle of the highest order that so many bullets

could have missed so many people in so small an area

in such a short space of time.

No fatalities at all?

None reported, sir.

What does the colonel propose that we do now?

Well, our duty is crystal clear.

The first thing we must do is keep the peace.

You agree, buell?

Absolutely, sir.

Now, there are three important steps

to peace negotiations.

No fraternization and no discharge of firearms.

Yes, sir.

And the third step, sir?

The third step?

It's not important.

What is important is we must have a conference.

You can't have peace without a conference, slater.

Buell.

Sir.

Inform all interested parties a conference

will be held here, in one hour from now,

yes, sir.

Now, beyond that, my contract, I got it here,

my contract says that I am going to deliver,

and by god I am gonna deliver,

come hell or high water.

So, now first thing you gotta do

is get them damn foreigners out of here.

Mr. wallingham...

Now, I am a taxpayer, sir, and a good republican,

which means I am entitled to army escort

and I'm damn well gonna get army escort

or I'm gonna raise all kinds of hell

between here and Washington.

Mr. wallingham.

What?

I will not tolerate profanity in the presence of ladies.

Ladies.

Oh.

I think we understand your position by now.

The next party to be heard from will be, uh, uh...

Who are you?

My name is Clayton howell, sir,

commander of the Denver free militia.

And, what do you want?

Well, I'd like to inform the colonel that a lot of us here

are members of the Denver saloon owners' association,

and we intend to receive that there cargo

and take it home with us.

Now, the winter nights are long and lonely in Denver, sir,

and a man is sorely in need of comfort.

Startin' next month, that there sun is gonna be a-settin'

at 5:33 pm, and she's gonna rise 11 dark hours later.

All right, all right,

il think we can leave the sun out of this.

What are you doing here, oracle?

Sir, colonel.

I'm the guide to the Denver free militia.

It is my duty to see that this precious cargo

and these good people get back with...

Thank you, thank you, oracle.

I'm well aware of the duties of a guide.

You're next.

Kevin o'Flaherty at your service, sir.

President of the Irish teamsters.

With your lordship's permission, I have here a resolution

containing 14 points, which I would like to read

as preliminary to these labor negotiations.

Labor negotiations?

If our demands are not satisfied, your lordship,

we intend to strike, as nasty as that may seem.

By damn, you just try...

Wallingham!

What?

Oh.

I am not gonna abandon 10 of my wagons to them Indians.

Well, who said you had to?

You've got the whole Denver free militia

to drive your wagon.

What?

Oh.

Excuse me, sir.

The militia couldn't drive the wagons, sir,

unless we took a soldier to guard each one of them.

They're the worst bar flies in Denver.

Yeah, for that matter, who's gonna guard the soldiers?

Yes, I see what you mean.

Our supply of temperance men is extremely limited.

Yes, sir, it sure is.

Well then, since you have nothing further to say,

Mr. o'Flaherty...

- Colonel... - Sit down.

Now call on Mrs. massingale.

Thank you very much, colonel.

The temperance movement has now spread

across this length and breadth of this great nation.

Our noble movement, founded in the year...

Mrs. massingale, we are not here for a history

of the movement.

Have you anything further to say?

I have.

Dump it, I say.

Dump this entire vile cargo into the river right now.

By damn, madam,

you touch one of my barrels... Mr. wallingham!

What?

Oh.

Did you get that, captain?

Not a word, but I have an interpreter standing by.

Sims!

Yes, sir.

Sims, find out what they're doing here,

why they left the reservation.

Yes, sir.

Hunt buffalo.

Minding own business.

Then white long knives come along

and attack peaceful Indian.

Paper say peaceful Indian.

We go home, but first you give us presents.

What'd he say?

He said, "hunt buffalo in peace,

"minding their own business

"when white long knives attack."

What?

Yes, sir.

But they're willin' to go home now, sir.

Oh that's fine.

Tell him he's made a wise decision.

Yes, sir.

Where are presents for us?

You give me 20 wagons whiskey

or I don't take my braves home.

Period.

Yes?

What'd he say?

He said he would like to give you a present, sir.

That's fine.

But he hasn't got one, sir.

Oh, I understand.

Thank him, but tell him no present is necessary.

- Yes, sir. - Wait, I'll tell him.

All right, then.

Tomorrow morning, this whole, uh, this, uh...

We're leaving for Denver.

You will take your orders from sergeant major buell

as to starting time, disposition of marching order,

camp sites, et cetera.

Any decisions to be made will be made by me.

Sergeant.

Conference stands adjourned!

Buell.

Sir?

What are those Indians doing here?

1 don't know, sir.

How long have they been following us?

Matter of fact, sir, I was gonna bring that matter up

to the colonel's attention, sir.

They've been trailing us along all day, sir.

Shall I take a squad and run em off, sir?

Buell, don't you know the Indian wars are over?

These sioux are wards of the government

and we represent the government.

How the hell do you think that would look in Washington?

Colonel has a point, sir.

Get the interpreter.

Find out why they're still here.

Yes, sir.

And, buell.

Sir.

We'll camp early tonight.

Field quarters assembly?

Have the sentries out before dark.

Yes, sir.

Carter.

Sir.

Check the rest of the sentries

and find sergeant buell.

Yes, sir.

Phillips.

Sir?

What's going on here?

Compliments of Mrs. massingale, sir.

She has use of another tub, sir,

and she thought the colonel looked dirty, sir.

Kind of scroungy and mucky, sir.

And she thought, she sort of...

Yes, sir.

Colonel gearhart, sir.

Yes?

All sentries on their posts, sir.

The Denver militia has retired for the evening.

Where's sergeant buell?

Well, he's still at the Indian camp, sir,

with the interpreter.

That's all, Carter.

Yes, sir.

Sir?

Come in, buell.

A report from the interpreter, sir.

He, uh...

Well?

There might be just a little confusion, sir.

Confusion?

Confusion, yes, sir.

The interpreter was only sure they said,

"hunt buffalo in peace, minding own business,

"when white long knives attack.

"Willing to go home.

"Would like to give you present."

Sergeant, get me oracle Jones.

Yes, sir.

= friend.

Go ahead, tell them.

And, don't beat around the bush.

Find out just why the hell they're still here.

The chief says he's waitin' for the presents.

Presents?

But, we don't...

Oh, well, tell him we don't want any presents,

and thank him.

Not for you, colonel.

For him.

Now just a minute.

He said "hunt buffalo in peace,

"minding own business.”

Sims!

Yes, sir.

You're under arrest.

Yes, sir.

Suppose I refuse to give them any presents?

They won't go home.

Oh.

Well, find out what they want.

The chief says he wants 20 wagons

of minne wakan, crazy water.

20 wagons of whiskey?

That chief, he's a real boozer, colonel.

Well, you tell him no.

No one's gonna blackmail the United States army!

No sir!

Tell him to pack up his braves and get back

where they come from.

I'll tell him.

White chief, Indian chief, meet, as friends.

Leave as friends.

No crazy water, no whiskey.

Go home in peace, but go home!

Sergeant.

Yes, sir.

Oh, ah.

J hallelujah j

there!

Now I see it!

= frank!

Hey, hold up there, frank!

Up, up.

In towards quicksand bottoms.

What for?

We'll be campin' there tonight.

No, we ain't.

Not this train.

Well, sure, frank.

Well, you just suit yourself.

That's a waste of time and horsepower.

I'll just light out for Denver on my lonesome.

Wait a minute, oracle.

You seen somethin'?

Well now, I don't mind tellin' you

things is just beginnin' to come through.

What, what?

Can't say.

Got somethin' to do with quicksand bottoms, has it?

Yep.

Rafe, rafe!

When we get to quicksand bottom, you head in.

We're gonna camp there tonight.

Huh?

Hah.

I said, when we get to quicksand bottom, head in.

We're gonna camp there tonight.

Okay, frank.

Militia, halt!

Get that circle formed in there and keep it tight.

Stay away from the edge of that swamp.

Look out there!

Come on, move it up there.

Close ituptight!

Stay away from the edge of that swamp.

Look out there!

All right, all right!

Come on, the rest of ya!

Watch out for the...

Frank, frank!

You better come quick!

The Irish is goin' on strike.

They've taken 10 of the wagons.

Ha!

Ya, ya!

Clayton, go and rescue that precious booze.

Form up your men.

Militia!

Form up in a column of fours!

Hup!

Well, sir, it's finally happened.

The teamsters have gone on strike.

They've taken 10 of wallingham's wagons and formed a circle.

Well, where's wallingham?

Well, he's getting the militia together, sir.

He's also threatened to use force

so I've taken a platoon and put them

between the militia and the ladies.

The ladies?

What have they got to do with this?

Well, they're supporting the strike, sir.

What?

It's quite possible that violence is imminent.

Whoa.

Come down from there, you alien radical!

Capitalist!

Anarchist!

Hold your positions, ladies.

Oh, you finally got here, did ya?

All right, I want you to get

this damn mess straightened out.

You!

Just what are you and your ladies up to this time?

Merely exercising our right to peaceful assembly,

as guaranteed by the constitution,

a document, which you, as an army officer,

are sworn to uphold.

O'Flaherty.

We're just good, honest workmen, your lordship,

exercising our god-given right to refuse to work.

Hah!

You're a pack of cowards, that's what you are,

hidin' behind the skirts of these women here.

Besides that, you're a thief.

You're a pack of Irish thieves.

They stole 10 of my wagons.

I demand you do somethin' about it.

Now, calm yourself, Mr. wallingham.

I can see your wagons.

They don't look stolen to me.

Well, they're as good as stolen, by damn!

I must remind you, again, sir, there are ladies present.

They're damn right they're present

and I want 'em removed.

I'm sorry, Mr. wallingham,

but this is obviously a labor dispute.

And, much as I hate to admit it, Mrs. massingale

and Mr. o'Flaherty are within their rights.

Rights?

What about my rights as a taxpayer and a good republican?

I shall protect your wagons and your cargo,

but under army regulations I cannot...

All right, men.

We've had enough of this tin-soldier lawyer talk.

Get in there and club down them irishmen.

Club 'em down and tote them women out.

Slater, take charge.

You'll meet force with force

to whatever extent is necessary.

Companies a and b, move up!

Ho!

Draw carbine!

Ho!

Ah.

Come on, get in there!

What are you waitin' for?

Uh, be reasonable, frank.

We can't fight the United States army.

It wouldn't look good.

All right, gearhart.

I'm holding you personally responsible

for every one of my wagons.

I accept the responsibility.

Buell!

= sir!

We'll camp here tonight.

Pick a site.

Yes, sir.

Field order 148, sir?

Yes, sir.

My congratulations, Mrs. massingale.

A brilliant maneuver, flawlessly executed.

Thank you, colonel.

I'm very flattered.

Maintain order, slater.

Ladies.

Mrs. massingale, ma'am,

would you mind telling me just what you expect

to gain by all this?

Time, for one thing.

Ah, but you can't keep my wagons immobilized forever.

We'll see.

Would you mind telling me

what your next move might be?

Well, apart from our non-violent picket line,

we have no plans.

Except to have our meeting at the Indian camp tonight.

Ah.

A what?

A rally.

A rally, frank.

Hold your positions, ladies.

Come along, Louise.

A rally at the Indian camp.

Oh.

J we will save, we will save;

j we will save another soul, hallelujah

j we will save, we will save;

j we will save another soul j

jand if the road is rocky j

jand a man should start to slip j

j man should start to slip j

jand if the road is rocky j

jand a man should start to slip j

j we will take abetter grip j

jand if a man gets weak j

j and takes a bottle from the shelf »

j bottle from the shelf j

jand if a man gets weak j

j and takes a bottle from the shelf »

j we will save him from himself j

j we will save j

j we will save another soul, hallelujah

j we will save j

j we will save another soul j

jand if the road is rocky j

jand a man should start to slip j

j man should start to slip j

j man should start to slip j what'd he say?

He says, uh, "good to sign white squaw's paper.

"Good for peace."

J we will save another soul, hallelujah

j we will save j

j we will save another soul j

jand if the road is rocky j

jand a man should start to slip j

j man should start to slip j

If it's the last thing I ever do,

I'll have that entire band transferred to Alaska.

What are they doing now?

Singing, sir.

And signing pledges.

I don't believe it.

As far as I can tell, they got

over 50 of them signed already.

Well, yo back there, sergeant.

Get me one of those pledges.

I wanna see it.

J we will save him from himself j

how can I get one, sir?

Yes, sir!

J we will save, we will save;

j we will save another soul j

jand if a man is saved j

j there are others still to come j

j others still to come j can you handle

the rest of this yourself, Louise?

You can count on me, Mrs. massingale.

Well, then I'm gonna hand out equipment to group b.

Good luck, Cora.

J for our work is never done 2

j we shall save j

there you are, sir.

Just a crazy Mark, but each one of 'em's marked different.

That woman!

How many?

81 now, sir.

817?

Get back there, buell.

Yes, sir.

And tell slater to be sure his flanks are covered.

Yes, sir.

Chisel.

Axe.

Hammer.

J for our work is never done 2

where's that massingale woman?

What happened to her?

Oh, she down there somewheres, frank,

takin' advantage ignorant savages.

There oughta be a law agin it.

There oughta be somethin' I don't know what,

but there oughta be somethin...

I don't trust that woman.

Oh, you just keep your pants hitched, frank.

Chief says, "no more peace."

What is it, sergeant?

What happened, sergeant?

The Indians have captured the women.

What?

Well, it was sudden, sir.

One minute they were all signing pledges and then...

How did that idiot slater ever let it happen?

Well, on behalf of captain slater, sir,

I think it's only fair to state

that if the women hadn't started singing hymns

and making all that racket...

Sir, the Indians disarmed my men

and took the ladies captive.

I know what they did, slater.

Yes, sir, and they moved so fast

and we were so outnumbered,

there was nothing I could do.

Sergeant.

Hup!

Alert the bugler.

Rouse the camp.

Mount the troops, prepare for battle.

Yes, sir!

Sir, any rash move on our part may seriously endanger

the lives of the women.

Dammit, man, I can't just stand here

and twiddle my thumbs.

= no, sir!

Sir, the sergeant's right, sir.

An attack right now might be most ill-advised, sir.

What's he doing here?

He's asymbol of their good faith.

Good faith?

They wanna bargain with us.

Bargain?

20 wagons of whiskey in exchange for the women.

20 wagons?

Yes, sir.

You see, the Indians...

Can he understand us?

Not a word, sir.

20 wagons comes out to about

three and 7/8 women per wagon.

At least I think that was their demand.

Now, maybe the interpreter was a little confused.

- Slater. - Yes, sir.

There's only one course of action now.

And, that would be, sir?

I am declaring martial law!

I say you can't do it!

No tinhorn colonel's gonna come out here

out of his own territory and declare martial law.

If you don't shut up, Mr. wallingham,

my first step will be to lock you up.

Gentlemen, this kind of bickering can lead us

to nothing constructive.

Since you cannot or will not take military action

against the Indians, and since you cannot or will not

negotiate with them, there is only one course of action

open to us.

We must accede to their demands and give them

the whiskey without further delay.

Giving whiskey to Indians

is strictly forbidden by the army regulations

so dear to your heart, Mrs. massingale.

Not if the Indians don't drink the whiskey.

What's going to stop Indians from drinking whiskey?

Precisely.

I have their pledges.

100 signed pledges with this one on the top

signed by chief five barrels himself.

That's his Mark.

She's right, that's his Mark.

Well, do they get the whiskey?

That's not his whiskey, it's mine

and you're not gonna touch one drop of it, you hear!

- Frank, listen, frank... - Quiet!

In that case, I have no choice but to destroy

all the whiskey right now.

You're bluffin'.

Oh, ami?

There is a woman hidden in each and every one

of those wagons, awaiting my order

by code to start smashing the barrels of this vile cargo.

Madam, you lie.

Indeed?

Ladies of group b.

- Just you wait a minute. - Frank, will you keep

your pants hitched?

The signal was to be a hymn, when I started singing.

But that's not necessary now.

I'll just tell them to begin.

=-you wouldn't do that.

Ladies of group b, you may begin!

Puncture those barrels!

No, wait!

Just a moment, ladies!

You let her smash a barrel, one barrel,

and I'll have those brass buttons ripped off your chest

in the very halls of congress!

Now, I'm a taxpayer and a good republican...

You say that one more time, Mr. wallingham,

and I'll bust you right in the nose!

You threatened me.

Now sit down!

You hear that? Sit down!

Now, come on, frank, sit down.

And shut up!

Mrs. massingale, sit down.

Sit down!

And stay down.

Ladies of group "b,"

get out of those wagons

right now!

- Sergeant, put this down. - Yes, sir.

The United States army hereby confiscates

twenty wagons of the wallingham train.

Ah, there, you said it. You hear that?

Confiscation of private property

in which case I shall be repaid in full for my loss.

Go ahead, declare martial law.

Said martial law to take effect at daybreak.

You'll declare martial law right now.

Don't you tell me when to declare martial law.

- Slater. - Yes, sir.

Take that symbol of good faith back to chief five barrels.

And slater,

knock down the price.

- Buell? - Sir!

This meeting stands adjourned.

Get out of here.

Go on, get out of here, you bunch of vandals!

Get off of my property!

You! Get off of my bed.

Get... get out of here!

Ahhh!

Get out of that wagon!

Get out of there!

Out!' out!

Ha ha ha.

I thought I heard you, frank.

You got me into this, you soothsaying sot.

And I'll get you out of it, frank.

In fact, it's all set.

Everything's ready except one more chore

I got to do right now.

Believe me, frank,

you just trust old oracle.

Me and my Billy girl is going to fix it all up.

Come on now, Billy girl.

Take me slow and take me true.

Colonel?

Go away.

Madam, I don't know what you're up to,

but whatever it is, il don't want to hear about it.

I've just come to tell you how truly sorry I am for what I've done.

Thank you and good night.

Colonel, do you realize what will happen when word gets out

that you've given twenty wagons of whiskey

to 100 sioux Indians?

I realize.

Twenty wagons confiscated from a man

who's a taxpayer and a good republican.

Don't you tell me what he is or I'll...

I'll bust you in the nose!

Oh, dear, colonel, those cords again.

- Just let me... - Get away from my cords!

If you'd just relax and let the blood flow freely...

My blood can flow on its own.

Now, Mrs. massingale,

I don't know what your plans are for tomorrow,

but judging from experience, you better get some rest.

Oh, how can I rest after what I've done to you?

Try!

Oh.

My selfishness,

my obstinacy,

my stupidity in not listening to your excellent advice.

Well, I must agree with you there.

It's all my fault you're in this terrible position.

Well, crying isn't going to help.

Mrs. massingale...

Mrs. massingale!

You needn't look so shocked.

Plato, Augustus, Alexander...

Even George Washington took occasional spirits

in medicinal amounts.

There's nothing wrong with limited libation under emotional stress.

Your entire career is ruined.

I... suppose there'll be some criticism.

Criticism? You'll be crucified.

The press, the public, the war department...

Horace greeley...

Oh.

Well, if I can save the lives of 27 women, I...

I'd gladly sacrifice my career.

After all, what is it?

Only 19 years of service.

With Grant at vicksburg,

with Thomas at Nashville.

Seventeen Indian campaigns, laramie to fort hall.

One more year.

$281.25 a month.

Pension.

Sergeant buell, $27.50 a month.

Every month.

19 years...

And in all that time,

not once have I ever...

Never have I ever met anyone like...

Like me?

Oh, well, I'll... I'll just resign gracefully.

Anyway, I'll resign.

Well, at least you still have your beloved west.

I hate the west.

Oh, dear.

Dust, wind, Indians.

My... stubbornness,

my obstinacy, my selfishness.

Now, now, Cora... Uh, Mrs. massingale...

If only I'd listened to you. If only.

Easy... easy, Mrs. massingale. Cora.

You think you could ever forgive me, Thaddeus?

Well, I...

I could try.

Cora...

Could we forget all this?

I mean...

I mean...

Just forget the whole thing?

Cora?

Colonel gearhart!

Uh, one moment, slater.

Come in, slater.

Captain slater reporting, sir.

Stand up, we'll march to Denver

no more wine or beer - someone's singing. Go on, slater.

Uh, chief five barrels said he'd take 15 barrels.

I came back with eight, and he said 13.

At least I think that was the number.

The language barrier is very difficult, sir.

Did you reach any agreement?

Yes, sir. Ten wagons of whiskey.

- Ten wagons? - For all the women.

- Oh, good work, slater. - Thank you, sir.

What's he doing here?

Same reason as before, sir. He's a symbol of their good faith.

Are you sure he can't understand us?

- Not a word. - That's all, slater.

Thank you, sir.

Oh. Uh...

The Indians would like to have

uh, Mrs. massingale present for the exchange, sir.

What for?

Our symbol of good faith.

Tell chief five barrels I'd be happy to join my brave ladies.

Yes, ma'am.

I'll make all the arrangements for the exchange, sir.

Good night, slater.

It's scheduled for dawn.

Thaddeus, isn't it wonderful?

Ten wagons!

That's the exact number held by the Irish teamsters.

You're not going to have to confiscate

any of Mr. wallingham's wagons after all.

It's along day tomorrow, Cora,

and you need rest.

I'll take you back to your camp.

Oh.

Oh, I can get back by myself.

You're sure?

Oh, Thaddeus...

You're so kind and generous

and brave.

Good night, Thaddeus.

No more wine or beer

stand up, we'll march to Denver...

We shall save

we shall save another soul

hallelujah

frank? Huh?

She's all fixed up.

What?

Frank, listen carefully now, this is important.

Frank... hey, frank!

You've been drinkin...

Frank, listen carefully.

If you could get your wagon train out of here,

if you could cross the river right here

so's nobody, no injuns, no women or army could follow you,

would you do it?

How?

Now, wait a minute!

You'd have to give up them 10 wagons on the exchange.

- All right. - Now, here's what we do.

We take all the rest of the wagons,

and we go right across quicksand bottoms. Hold it.

None of them people could see us. Hold it.

We get right across the river... Hold on!

Just a damn minute now.

Nobody can cross quicksand bottoms

because they'll... sink. We can. There's a way.

- Aw! - =frank!

I found it five years ago.

Bunch of scalp-hungry injuns chased me right up to the edge.

Well, sir, I knew for sure they'd get me that night if I didn't get across.

I just pointed my Billy girl south and let her go.

She didn't miss a step.

I did the same thing tonight.

She took me right across.

I've staked out a trail right across the bottoms with my red flannel.

We can't miss it.

We'll take all the wagons you got

and go right across quicksand bottoms

a-pullin' up the stakes as we go.

They won't even know what happened to us until it's too late.

Once across the bottoms, it's a straight shoot to Denver

over flat, open country.

We'll be free and clear.

Hallelujah!

- Hallelujah! - Shh!

Hush up!

Yeah, my sentiments exactly.

Hallelujah.

Here's one.

Here's another one.

There... and here's one.

What are they?

I don't know,

but, does it look familiar?

It looks like Mr. Jones' underwear.

It is!

Are you... are you sure?

The ladies have confirmed it.

He's not wearing those under drawers now.

They're torn to shreds and spread out on stakes

all across quicksand bottoms.

Where's group "c"?

Mrs. massingale, have you any idea what these stakes are for?

I'm not sure, but...

I know what we're going to do with them.

What?

Move them.

Now, stay between those red markers.

Don't be lagging behind.

Keep your wagons up close, all of you.

Militia, when we move out, get on the wagons.

That's the signal, sir.

All wagons ready for the exchange.

Platoons "a" and "b" in position.

Get down there, buell. Send Mrs. Massingale over to the exchange point.

Yes, sir.

Mrs. massingale! Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Mrs. massingale, excuse me, ma'am.

I'm very busy right now, Mr. o'Flaherty.

It's about them 10 wagons, ma'am.

Well, what's the matter with them?

Nothing, ma'am, but, well, they ain't whiskey.

Ain't whiskey?

No, ma'am. Those wagons is filled with French champagne.

All of them.

You know anything about French champagne, ma'am?

Well, I sipped some once on my second honeymoon in Paris.

Aye, but it was most likely cold.

These bottles ain't. They're warm.

And if you've ever opened a bottle of warm champagne,

especially one that's been shaken up...

Well, it's... whoosh!

You mean they explode?

Like a regular marsh gun, about a .58 caliber.

Oh, we got to handle those bottles like dynamite, your ladyship.

That's why they hired us Irish teamsters.

It's our business.

But what's going to happen when them savages get ahold of them wagons?

What's going to happen to that champagne?

Explosions?

Right. I just thought someone ought to know.

Have you told colonel gearhart about this, yet?

Oh, no, ma'am. I've been afeared to.

What's holding you up, Mrs. massingale? We're ready for you.

Oh, I, I'm sorry, sergeant buell.

Excuse me, Mr. o'Flaherty.

Mrs. massingale, we have a bit of a problem.

Chief five barrels insists on taking the first wagon,

and his brother-in-law the second wagon,

and his second brother-in-law, the third wagon,

and, elks-runner the fourth wagon.

Now, that doesn't leave anybody in charge on their side.

Me in charge!

You!

You... you speak our tongue?

Hmm. I speak with straight tongue.

Me in charge good. Drink later.

All right, we'll agree to your taking charge on one condition,

that I stay at the exchange point the whole time.

Me there, whole time.

Good.

One moment please, captain.

Oh, Mrs. massingale, I'll never forgive myself for having failed you.

Ten wagonloads of whiskey to the Indians.

I've destroyed the crusade.

Not quite yet.

What?

Give me a hatpin.

Hatpin?

Our goal is still in sight, Louise.

Courage, ladies!

First three ladies, uh, front and center!

There they go, sir.

Three women starting across...

Sir? Sir! What's the matter?

It's that massingale woman again.

She's heading to the exchange point.

What's that damn fool symbol of good faith doing with her?

I can't say, sir.

Roll the first wagon.

First wagon, roll!

What's he trying to do, bolting out of there like that?

Roll wagon two

wagon two, roll!

Ladies, move out!

Wagon two, roll!

Next three ladies, front and center!

Tell them not to bolt out of there like that.

Our teams are getting out of control.

Tell those Indians not to bolt out of there like that!

Roll wagon three.

Wagon three, roll!

Roll!

Next three ladies, front and center!

Move out. Go, go, go.

Don't let those Indians bolt that way!

Roll the wagons slowly!

No, not those wagons! Hold those wagons back!

Hold on to those teams!

There's going to be a runaway up there! Hold them, I say!

Somebody tell them Indians not to go bolting out of there like that!

Wagon four, roll!

Next three ladies, front and center!

Hold your wagons back!

Hold those teams back! Hold them!

Hold those wagons!

Don't bolt!

- Hold them back! - Hold them back!

Colonel! Get out there!

Cut those teams off and bring them back!

Look out! Look out! We got a stampede!

Hold on to them teams!

Don't let them follow them other horses!

No, not that way!

Hold them! Bring them back in!

They're going the wrong way!

They're gonna stampede! We'll never get them back!

Hold them up! Hold them up there!

Hey, you! Hold them up!

They're going the wrong way!

The whole wallingham train!

Whoa! Whoa!

Hold them! You! Turn back!

Hey!

Hey, you!

Turn 'em! Turn "em!

Head them back to the quicksand!

Uh, company, halt.

Whoa! Slow down!

Get 'em on through there!

Follow them red flags!

Yaah! Come on!

All right, just follow them red flags as you go.

Stay right along in line with them.

Follow them little red flags there.

Yaah!

Yaah! Come on!

Whew!

Follow them markers!

Stay right along in line with them.

Follow them little red flags and...

Get out of there!

Hey! No! No, not that way!

Go!

Frank! Look out, frank!

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh.

Rafe! Rafe, come on over here

and give me a hand with this.

I gotta...

Help me up!

God... ah, get "em out of here!

Ah.

Ok, Carl, take them out!

Take them out of here!

Go on! Take them out!

Tell the colonel the Indians are firing at us!

Return fire!

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot!

I beg your pardon!

What do you think you're doing to me?

My god, they've got Mrs. massingale!

Sir!

Sir, they're waving a flag of truce!

It's awoman's petticoat!

Charge!

Thaddeus! You!

We go home now.

You speak my tongue?

I speak with straight tongue.

We go home. Hunt buffalo.

Peaceful Indian. Forget presents.

You hunt buffalo in peace...

You hunt deer of green forest in peace...

You go home in peace, but go home!

Hey!

Hey.

Hey!

Ugh.

Get them out of there.

Rafe. Rafe!

Yeah, get a rope!

Hold what you got, frank! I'm a-comin"!

I'll help you! Hold what you got, frank!

I'll be right there with you...

Make it fast to that tree!

Get that slack out of that line!

Tighten up on it!

Now, hold on that! Hold it. Hold it.

Companies "a" and "b" of the cavalry

escorted the ex-temperance marchers

back to their husbands and hungry children

at fort Russell.

Itis to be assumed some time passed

before the Indians were able

to regain their customary composure.

But, it is known that the exploits of their journey

became tribal legend to be told over and over again

from generation to generation...

With slight revisions.

The Denver free militia dissolved,

never to march again,

and of course, the strike of the Irish teamsters failed,

and the wallingham freighting company went bankrupt

having no visible assets.

You know, frank, uh,

some injuns told me once...

Uh, reliable injuns, frank.

They said a Cheyenne brave and his pony

sunk right here,

and durned if they didn't ooze up again

just as natural-looking and as purty as you please.

Oh, they was dead, of course,

but right near the top where you could grab easy.

Heh heh.

It might be worth waiting for, eh, frank?

Frank?

Well, you see?

So ended the great disaster

at quicksand bottoms.

Oh, yes, Mrs. massingale.

Cora Templeton massingale retired

from all active participation in temperance movements.

A military wedding was held at fort Russell.

As it turned out...

It was a double wedding.

A homestead claim was filed

by Mr. Jones and Mr. Wallingham on a piece of land

encompassing the entire quicksand bottoms area.

Frank? Frank?

Huh? Frank?

- What? - =frank!

Come on! Pull, frank!

Careful! Careful! Careful!

Ah!

Ha!

Oracle.

Oracle. Oracle.

Oracle!

Or... oracle

hallelujah

there! Now I see it!

Yeah!

Glory hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

It's not to be denied

that there were occasional re-emergences of whiskey kegs

which kept Mr. Jones and Mr. wallingham

um... um...

Quite... content for a number of years.

And in spite of all predictions,

shaggy hair and busy beavers to the contrary,

the winter of 1867 turned out to be the driest and warmest on record.

Such was the year, o, pioneer west,

and the days of the hallelujah trail.

Don't know where we're going or where we been

hallelujah trail

it's written in the dust and blown by the wind

hallelujah trail

you can't tell a horse from a stubborn mule

hallelujah trail

you can't tell a hero from a doggone fool

hallelujah trail

hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah trail

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah

early in the morning, almost day

hallelujah trail

rise and shine, we're on our way

hallelujah trail

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah, hallelu, hallelujah trail

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelujah

hallelu, hallelujah trail