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1
00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:07,780
Cat Lady loves
playing with string.
2
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,380
Meow!
3
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,250
[Shink, scrape]
4
00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:12,650
[Clang]
5
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,330
Yikes! What a mess!
6
00:00:15,460 --> 00:00:18,670
Time to scoop
the station's litter box.
7
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,540
[Purrs]
8
00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:23,810
So many toys to play with.
9
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:25,210
It's like catnip!
10
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:27,080
Gosh. Am I just--IDK--
11
00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:28,620
laying on the cat stuff
too thick?
12
00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:31,590
No, Jenna, no! Stop it.
You're the Cat Lady!
13
00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:33,830
It would be weird
if you didn't act like a cat,
14
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,200
though giving myself
a tongue bath
15
00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:36,900
was maybe a bit much.
16
00:00:36,940 --> 00:00:37,940
Aah!
17
00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:39,940
[Growling]
18
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,550
Gus is a--errrp--dog person.
19
00:00:44,950 --> 00:00:47,420
[Theme song playing]
20
00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:04,120
[Glass breaks]
21
00:01:04,220 --> 00:01:05,860
Martinez: Listen up.
22
00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:07,360
The only thing more embarrassing
23
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,830
than the police station being
a crime scene
24
00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:11,100
is how dirty this
evidence locker is,
25
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,840
so we ain't leaving
until it's clean.
26
00:01:12,970 --> 00:01:14,240
Flute: Well,
let's hurry this up.
27
00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:15,380
It's ladies night at Jinko's,
28
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:16,980
and you know what that means.
29
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,850
Summers, activate free drink
robot boobs.
30
00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:20,260
[Air hisses]
31
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,460
Hey! My eyes are up here
32
00:01:22,590 --> 00:01:23,860
but also down here.
33
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,830
My nipples are bodycams.
34
00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:27,140
Can't make it tonight.
35
00:01:27,270 --> 00:01:28,470
I've got a hot date
with some socks
36
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,880
that need ironing.
37
00:01:30,010 --> 00:01:31,410
Oh, I'd shine them
if that were possible.
38
00:01:31,510 --> 00:01:33,720
Wynona you coming
to ladies night?
39
00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,150
With the things I've done,
40
00:01:35,290 --> 00:01:37,020
I'm not sure
I qualify as a "lady."
41
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,420
[Air escapes]
42
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,160
Robot need love. Come closer.
43
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:42,400
Summers: Aah!
Martinez: We've got to do
44
00:01:42,530 --> 00:01:44,140
something
about the fungus monster.
45
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:45,610
Maybe we should poison it.
46
00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:47,280
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio!
47
00:01:47,410 --> 00:01:48,880
Is that what I think it is?
48
00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:50,820
Indeed. Also, hi!
49
00:01:50,950 --> 00:01:54,020
Gather round, my impeccably
diverse group of friends
50
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,900
as I tell you, a one-act tale
of how I helped
51
00:01:57,030 --> 00:02:00,570
Flute discover his crime mind.
52
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:03,170
Between stints
as a middle school teacher
53
00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:05,580
and criminal mastermind,
I briefly moonlit
54
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,820
as the headmaster
of a training program
55
00:02:07,850 --> 00:02:11,320
for the best of the elite
of the crème de la crmiest
56
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,530
of detectives in training.
57
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:15,400
Welcome to Top Dick!
58
00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:16,540
Which, I cannot stress enough,
59
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,040
is a perfectly acceptable word
60
00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:19,580
for me to use in this context.
61
00:02:19,710 --> 00:02:22,310
The competition is on to see
who amongst you
62
00:02:22,450 --> 00:02:24,280
is the best detective here.
63
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,390
-May the best man...
-Or only woman.
64
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:28,590
Pentos: Win.
65
00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:30,460
Good luck, Ice Queen,
but I'm winning this.
66
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,200
I come from a long line of men
67
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:33,800
who have taken Top Dick.
68
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:35,170
Really, Marverick?
69
00:02:35,210 --> 00:02:36,680
You strike me more as a bottom.
70
00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:38,210
I'd strike your bottom,
71
00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:39,350
but I can't bend down that far.
72
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:40,950
Hey! That's my partner.
73
00:02:41,050 --> 00:02:42,490
You can't talk
to a woman like that.
74
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,490
Actually, I can
because it's 2003,
75
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:46,360
where this kind of sexist banter
was allowed
76
00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:47,800
and often high-fived.
77
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,400
Up top!
78
00:02:58,080 --> 00:02:59,050
Pentos: Hmm.
79
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:00,660
[Gunshots]
80
00:03:05,430 --> 00:03:06,840
Hyah!
81
00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,570
Pentos: Ha ha ha!
82
00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:11,650
By the power vested
in me by the state
83
00:03:11,780 --> 00:03:15,720
of wherever we are,
I will avenge you.
84
00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:18,730
Good night, sweet prince.
85
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:19,530
Ooh!
86
00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:21,000
[Cadet playing "Taps" on bugle]
87
00:03:21,130 --> 00:03:23,240
Why, Duck, why?
I can only assume it was
88
00:03:23,340 --> 00:03:24,640
because you didn't listen to me.
89
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,110
Had you done so, you certainly
wouldn't be dead,
90
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,440
so this is all...
91
00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:30,450
your fault!
92
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:31,850
Mmm.
93
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:39,000
I bet I know the last thing
that this guy...saw.
94
00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:40,970
Singer: ♪ Yeah ♪
95
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,270
Flute: Gah!
96
00:03:42,410 --> 00:03:44,380
This vic is
like Nic Cage's IMDb page.
97
00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:46,280
The further up you look,
98
00:03:46,410 --> 00:03:48,280
the messier things get.
99
00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:50,290
Singer: ♪ Yeah ♪
100
00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:51,830
Pentos: Ha ha ha! Hee!
101
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,700
Pentos, voice-over:
To have any chance of winning,
102
00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:57,400
Flute and his wingman
Goose--I mean, Duck--
103
00:03:57,540 --> 00:03:59,940
needed to ace
the sexy volleyball competition,
104
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,420
but fate, like my fellow
teachers when I'd suggest
105
00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:06,990
we get fondue,
had other plans.
106
00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:13,500
Martinez: Unh!
107
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:14,500
Hyah!
108
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,010
Duck!
109
00:04:18,510 --> 00:04:20,320
[Gasps]
110
00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:22,720
Talk to me, Duck!
111
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:25,190
Why didn't you duck
when I said, "Duck," Duck?
112
00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:26,960
Is it because you thought
I was saying your name
113
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,670
when I was actually using
the verb form of the word duck?
114
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,040
Because that would mean
this is all...
115
00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:35,580
my fault!
116
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:38,920
Can I use this one for
the dead partner competition?
117
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,860
[Squeak]
118
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,730
You're too late.
I quit and turned in my badge.
119
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:46,170
A good detective
never lets his partner die.
120
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,470
Pentos:
Perhaps you didn't let him die.
121
00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:51,340
Perhaps he was murdered.
122
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,220
But there was no evidence
of murder.
123
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,880
You may very well be top dick,
124
00:04:54,980 --> 00:04:57,360
but how will anyone see it
when you hide
125
00:04:57,460 --> 00:05:00,760
behind evidence and rules
and freshly ironed trousers?
126
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:03,900
Allow me inside,
and I can help you grow
127
00:05:03,940 --> 00:05:05,470
beyond your wildest dreams
128
00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:07,880
by embracing the chaos that lies
129
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:11,080
in the deepest, darkest corners
of your mind.
130
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:12,620
You mean the part
of my brain where I keep
131
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:14,620
the memory of my best friend
Eli teaching me
132
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,930
how to masturbate on
the safety patrol trip to D.C.?
133
00:05:19,030 --> 00:05:23,470
Um, I want to hear about that,
I do, I really, really do,
134
00:05:23,510 --> 00:05:24,850
but come with me.
135
00:05:24,980 --> 00:05:26,250
Flute: That's what Eli said.
136
00:05:26,380 --> 00:05:27,650
Pentos: Enough with Eli!
137
00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:29,890
The best detectives are
able to access something
138
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:34,130
I call the subconscious
clue detecting neural framework,
139
00:05:34,260 --> 00:05:35,830
or SCDNF!
140
00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:37,100
Too many words for me.
141
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,510
What about crime mind?
142
00:05:38,610 --> 00:05:41,950
Yeah, whatever.
Drink this to relax.
143
00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:43,480
Pass. I don't drink alcohol.
144
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,520
Then you'll never be
a great detective
145
00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,390
or accepted socially.
146
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,960
I guess one drink can't hurt.
147
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,670
Pentos: You must look
beyond the clues,
148
00:05:55,810 --> 00:05:58,550
preferably
through a pop culture lens.
149
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,180
Volleyball!
Deserted beach!
150
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:04,420
Find the connection,
and you will find Duck's killer!
151
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,160
Wilson: Please.
You have to help me.
152
00:06:06,290 --> 00:06:08,100
But I need to solve
Duck's murder.
153
00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:11,270
Tom Hanks: Ho ho! Wilson!
154
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,540
Wilison: Oh, dear God! It's him.
155
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:13,880
He wants to put a wig on me
156
00:06:14,010 --> 00:06:15,550
and do unspeakable things!
157
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,920
But he's our generation's
finest actor and "SNL" host.
158
00:06:17,950 --> 00:06:20,660
Yes, but when we're
alone out here,
159
00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:24,030
he fills me with his poison.
160
00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:25,300
Eww!
161
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,170
Oh. Poison!
162
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:28,710
Hanks: Wilson!
163
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,410
Wilson: Oh, God. He's coming!
164
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,110
Hanks: Oh! Hey there, friend.
165
00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:35,320
Did you see a little
sex ball rolling around here
166
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:36,960
about ankle-high, straw hair?
167
00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:40,930
Got a butt you could bounce
a coconut off of!
168
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:43,570
National treasure Tom Hanks
may have been intimate
169
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,970
with a sports ball?
170
00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:47,710
Hmm. Still makes more sense
than "Cloud Atlas."
171
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,450
Pentos: Yes! Connect the dots!
172
00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:53,150
Make sense of the senseless!
173
00:06:53,190 --> 00:06:55,160
Poison.
174
00:06:55,190 --> 00:06:56,930
Duck.
175
00:06:57,060 --> 00:06:58,930
Motive.
176
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:02,070
Murder.
177
00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:03,580
Whiskey.
178
00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:06,880
Neat. Make it a double.
179
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:09,490
As the winner,
it's an honor to prove
180
00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:11,760
that chicks can also be dicks.
181
00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:13,360
Flute: Not so fast.
Martinez: Ohh!
182
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,330
Duck wasn't killed
by the impact of the volleyball.
183
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:17,570
It was the poison your partner
put inside it
184
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,610
to prevent me
from taking the prize.
185
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,580
I only did it to
protect our lead,
186
00:07:21,610 --> 00:07:22,880
but how did you know?
187
00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,350
A weird old man
in a far-too-small
188
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:25,750
small, white towel taught me
189
00:07:25,850 --> 00:07:29,090
that things aren't always
as they...scream.
190
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:33,700
Singer: ♪ Yeah ♪
191
00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:36,140
Whoa, oh, oh!
192
00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:37,980
Pentos, voice-over:
Now that I had molded Flute
193
00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:39,780
into my perfect nemesis,
194
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:45,660
our little game of cat and mouse
was about to dot dot dot begin,
195
00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:48,500
and I knew the perfect
way to celebrate.
196
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,840
Hi. I'm looking for Eli.
197
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,650
Perhaps we shouldn't be
using the fungus monster
198
00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:01,020
as a garbage disposal.
199
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:04,400
He's getting positively
Muskian in size.
200
00:08:04,530 --> 00:08:05,670
Elon Musk isn't fat.
201
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,540
He just has a Pixar mom's ass.
202
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,940
Hold on. Now this brings
back memories.
203
00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:12,680
Time to tell the tale
of why I first left Grimsburg.
204
00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:14,550
Martinez:
Another story about you?
205
00:08:14,650 --> 00:08:15,790
Flute: Are there any other kind?
206
00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:17,690
The year was years ago.
207
00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:20,060
I was crushing it as a detective
with my crime mind,
208
00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:21,970
but I was about to
lose my regular mind.
209
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,670
I had hit
the middle-aged trifecta--
210
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,010
got married, got a kid,
got divorced.
211
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,950
[Sobbing]
212
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,050
With Harmony and her kid
out of the way,
213
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,920
I could finally focus
on my one true love,
214
00:08:32,950 --> 00:08:35,760
hiding from my problems in work.
215
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:36,700
Got them!
216
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,700
That's 50 busts this week.
217
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,100
What do you need me
to solve next, Kang?
218
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,970
Well, unless you want to start
murdering people
219
00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:44,180
and lying to yourself about it,
there are no more cases.
220
00:08:44,310 --> 00:08:45,710
-You solved them all.
-What?
221
00:08:45,850 --> 00:08:47,820
There has to be more.
Crime never stops
222
00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:49,860
just like sharks
and e-mails from Costco.
223
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:52,560
Maybe try solving what's going
on with you, Flute.
224
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,060
Spend time with your son
225
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,970
or sunbathing or bathing.
226
00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:59,570
Anything regarding hygiene
really.
227
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,950
Flute, voice-over: I had
no problem taking a break
228
00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:03,580
from crime,
but I wouldn't let one
229
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,320
pass me by if I saw it.
230
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:10,730
Hey. We don't take too kindly
to drifters in this town.
231
00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:14,570
If I were you,
I'd turn around, Tom Petty.
232
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,010
Wait. Tom Petty? I'm a huge fan.
233
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,210
I lost my virginity
to your music
234
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,450
and my car keys.
235
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,890
I think you're confused,
officer.
236
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,890
Then why did you look up
when I said your name?
237
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:26,760
Because I thought you
said Tim Patty,
238
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,830
which is my very real name.
239
00:09:28,870 --> 00:09:31,140
Uh-huh. And what's
in your bag, Tim?
240
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:34,840
This? This is just some
guitar-shaped groceries.
241
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,120
Now if you'll excuse me.
242
00:09:37,150 --> 00:09:38,850
Look. I've had
a real rough go of it lately,
243
00:09:38,890 --> 00:09:40,350
and your music saved me before.
244
00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:42,030
Maybe you've got
a song that could help,
245
00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:43,760
preferably a classic
and not a new one
246
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,630
I can't hum along to.
247
00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:48,370
I'm not who you think I am.
248
00:09:48,510 --> 00:09:49,770
Then let's go down
to the station and let
249
00:09:49,910 --> 00:09:51,280
your fingerprints prove it.
250
00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:53,650
You do that,
and you're drawing first blood.
251
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:55,050
That's a war you don't want.
252
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:57,660
Why's that? Because you...
won't back down.
253
00:09:57,790 --> 00:09:59,790
No, I won't back down.
254
00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:02,100
So you'll stand your ground?
255
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,970
I won't be turned around.
256
00:10:05,070 --> 00:10:07,080
♪ Yeah, baby ♪
257
00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:08,510
-What?
-What?
258
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,380
Unh! Book this man on two counts
of telling me
259
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,520
he's not Tom Petty.
260
00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:14,390
-I'm not.
-Make it 3 counts.
261
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,190
That's not a punishable offense.
262
00:10:16,290 --> 00:10:18,500
Flute, you can't keep hiding
in your work like
263
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,270
a woman in a Hallmark movie.
264
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,410
-It's not him.
-How do you know?
265
00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,540
Because he passed away
two weeks ago.
266
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,880
What?! But that's impossible.
He's right...
267
00:10:28,020 --> 00:10:29,550
there.
268
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,560
Kang: You're making a case
where there's not one.
269
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:34,100
Let it go.
270
00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:35,930
When my wife told me
it was over, I didn't fight it.
271
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,940
When you told me to take some
time off, I did as told,
272
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,940
and when my doctor told
me he was actually
273
00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:42,550
my accountant, I accepted it
and put my clothes back on,
274
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:43,950
but I'm done letting things go.
275
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,690
Tom Petty is alive,
and I won't stop
276
00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:46,990
until I prove it.
277
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:48,890
Cue montage!
278
00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:58,040
[Sirens]
279
00:10:59,710 --> 00:11:01,280
[Tires squeal]
280
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:05,760
[Twang]
281
00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:15,010
Aah! Aah!
282
00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:18,180
[Twang]
283
00:11:23,060 --> 00:11:24,460
Oof!
284
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,070
[Feedback]
285
00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:29,340
Unh!
286
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,050
[Gasps]
287
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,830
[Grunting]
288
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,600
Damn you, Tom Petty!
289
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:47,080
Damn you and your torpedoes!
290
00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:51,890
Petty may have gone
absolutely goblin mode on us,
291
00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:53,490
but he's about to break.
292
00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:54,760
I can feel it.
293
00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:57,160
Pentos: You don't know
how it feels.
294
00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:59,300
If that's who you say he is,
then you're dealing
295
00:11:59,430 --> 00:12:02,310
with a first ballot
Rock and Roll Hall of Famer.
296
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,610
Those words are nothing to
a man who spent
297
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,050
half his life on a tour bus.
298
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:08,050
-You can't save him.
-Oh, oh, oh!
299
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:10,660
I didn't come here
to rescue him from you.
300
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:14,130
I came here to rescue
you from Tom Petty.
301
00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:15,770
He's from Florida.
302
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,640
As much as I'd love to
see you die,
303
00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:18,910
I don't mess with Florida.
304
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,880
He's coming for revenge.
305
00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:24,120
Try not to bleed out
in my office.
306
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,060
[Picking notes]
307
00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:31,800
Before you kill me,
can you tell me one thing?
308
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,070
Am I playing this right?
309
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,070
[Playing "Runnin' Down a Dream"]
310
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:38,210
Ugh! Just give me that.
Yer so bad.
311
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,950
Have you ever changed
these strings?
312
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,690
-Just admit who you are.
-Why do you care?
313
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:44,220
Because I need to know.
314
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,160
Seems like the guy who wrote
the song "I Need to Know"
315
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:47,230
should know that.
316
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,270
And what if I am
who you think I am?
317
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,670
How does that help anything?
318
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,940
Because if you're still alive,
319
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:54,280
that means anything
can come back,
320
00:12:54,410 --> 00:12:55,680
anything.
321
00:12:55,780 --> 00:12:57,080
You're runnin' down a dream,
322
00:12:57,220 --> 00:12:59,090
one that never will come to you.
323
00:12:59,220 --> 00:13:00,920
So you're working on a mystery,
324
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,830
all these mysteries
going wherever they lead,
325
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,700
but at the end of the day...
326
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,100
I'm runnin' down a dream.
327
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,840
You're right. I don't know
what I'm doing lately.
328
00:13:10,980 --> 00:13:12,250
You got any other
songs it might help?
329
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:15,120
"Time To Move On,"
"Into the Great Wide Open."
330
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:17,120
"Learning to Fly"
is always an option.
331
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:19,860
I think I'll just
go with "Breakdown."
332
00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:21,130
What are you gonna do now?
333
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:22,970
While I was blowing
everything up,
334
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:26,070
it seems like this is
a pretty nice town.
335
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:29,850
You should stay here, Tom Pet--
Tim Patty.
336
00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:32,590
You belong among
the fireflowers.
337
00:13:34,260 --> 00:13:36,230
And sorry about those,
by the way.
338
00:13:36,260 --> 00:13:38,900
Bad batch of fertilizer,
I think.
339
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:49,150
♪ Oh, I belong
among the fireflowers ♪
340
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:52,490
♪ Flute moved on to a motel
with no TV ♪
341
00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:55,270
[Man screaming]
342
00:13:55,300 --> 00:14:01,280
Tim: ♪ And I'm sorry about
blowing up those officers ♪
343
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:08,860
♪ But they were trying
to kill me ♪
344
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:12,970
Enjoy your stay...Harmony Flute.
345
00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:20,050
Martinez: I can't believe
someone found a way
346
00:14:20,180 --> 00:14:22,650
to murder somebody
with an Aerobie.
347
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:24,660
That's the eighties for you!
348
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,660
Gus: Mmm! Microplastics.
349
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,730
Wait. I found something
that reminds me
350
00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:29,870
of a story, too.
351
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,040
Is it a story about me?
352
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,740
It's actually about me.
353
00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:34,040
Then let's keep looking.
354
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:36,050
Wynona:
Oh, I love merry-go-rounds.
355
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,920
Me, too,
except for this one time
356
00:14:38,050 --> 00:14:39,790
I basically died on one.
357
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,890
Flashback mode, activate.
358
00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:45,030
It was a beautiful day
at the park.
359
00:14:45,070 --> 00:14:46,800
Definitely not the kind
of day you'd expect
360
00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:48,670
a massive explosion.
361
00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:50,680
[Dramatic music playing]
362
00:14:57,820 --> 00:15:00,430
[Calliope playing]
363
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,530
[Dramatic music playing]
364
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,540
Agh!
365
00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:09,280
[Grunting]
366
00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:13,220
Unh! Oh, oh, oh, oh!
367
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:16,700
That was fun,
but I've got to split...
368
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:19,170
you into a bunch of pieces!
369
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:20,100
Aah!
370
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:22,570
[Beeping, people screaming]
371
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:27,250
-Will he make it?
-Mmm. Doubtful,
372
00:15:27,380 --> 00:15:29,120
but there is
an experimental new procedure
373
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:31,120
that's astronomically expensive
and has almost
374
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:33,600
zero chance of success.
375
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:34,860
Do it.
376
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,940
We could only save
the top half of his head.
377
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:39,510
He'll need a digital mouth.
378
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,110
Um, guys. We forgot to
put back his penis.
379
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,250
[Heart monitor beeping]
380
00:15:44,380 --> 00:15:47,590
We could just stick it
under his armpit.
381
00:15:47,690 --> 00:15:49,130
Do it.
382
00:15:49,260 --> 00:15:50,860
How do you feel, Riddick?
383
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,270
Summers: I feel great!
384
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,740
More roboty than I remember,
that's for sure.
385
00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,140
Oh, and who's Riddick?
386
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,010
Detective Riddick.
That's you,
387
00:15:58,140 --> 00:15:59,550
The most badass man
on the force,
388
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,020
that we've rebuilt to be
a cyborg super cop.
389
00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:05,160
Summers:
Me? But my name's Greg Summers.
390
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:06,760
I work at the merry-go-round.
391
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,260
[Calliope playing]
392
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,270
Wow! I wish my life was
as exciting as his.
393
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,740
Every day, I do the same thing.
394
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,850
It's a little robotic.
395
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,150
Aw, crap.
396
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,020
You saved the wrong
half of a head!
397
00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:20,560
What did you do with Riddick's?
398
00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:24,330
I followed protocol and threw it
in the half-head disposal.
399
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,840
Summers: So now what?
Kang: Ideally, we'd train you
400
00:16:27,940 --> 00:16:30,440
on how to use the hundreds of
technologically advanced weapons
401
00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:32,450
you have installed,
but we got a tip
402
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:35,050
on the location of the man
responsible for blowing you up,
403
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:36,450
so we have to move now.
404
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:38,930
Don't worry.
There's a how-to video.
405
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,660
Hi. I'm Mario Lopez.
406
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,470
I say yes to hosting everything
407
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,640
because I literally
don't know the word no.
408
00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:47,640
Now then, will learning
how to use
409
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:51,150
your new cyborg body be easy?
410
00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:52,590
Let's get started.
411
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,890
Who wants to learn how
to shoot their laser gun?
412
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:57,060
Ooh! I do.
413
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,570
You know who else wanted to?
414
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,200
Ana de Armas as she
prepared for her role
415
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:04,080
in the sci-fi flick
"Laser Academy."
416
00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:07,820
Hot off her rumored on-set
romance with...
417
00:17:10,450 --> 00:17:12,830
Kang: Word is their grand plan
is even more evil
418
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,230
than we thought.
419
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,170
They want to bring back
unassigned seating
420
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,300
in movie theaters,
which is why we need you
421
00:17:18,340 --> 00:17:19,840
to capture them alive.
422
00:17:19,870 --> 00:17:22,210
Did you understand everything
Mario Lopez told you?
423
00:17:22,310 --> 00:17:24,220
I think so,
but he did spend the bulk
424
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,220
of the video dishing
celeb hot goss.
425
00:17:26,350 --> 00:17:28,290
-Good enough.
-Oof!
426
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,930
I don't want to hurt you guys!
427
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,840
Non-lethal flashbangs, activate.
428
00:17:37,810 --> 00:17:38,850
Sorry!
429
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:42,850
Soft net launcher, activate!
430
00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:46,090
Sorry!
431
00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:47,530
Man: Aah!
432
00:17:47,630 --> 00:17:49,200
Summers: I got to try
something more mundane
433
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:50,570
that won't hurt anyone.
434
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,580
Espresso machine, activate!
435
00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:55,140
Phew!
436
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:57,980
Aah!
437
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,990
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
438
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,090
Please surrender peacefully!
439
00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:03,860
I can't see
another person's insides.
440
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,130
Ain't you the guy
from the merry-go-round?
441
00:18:06,270 --> 00:18:07,770
Huh. I thought I blew you up
442
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,970
just like I plan on blowing up
the widespread practice
443
00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:11,880
of picking your own
movie theater seats.
444
00:18:12,010 --> 00:18:13,520
Soon I'll be able to get
there early,
445
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:15,890
spread my crap out across
5 different seats,
446
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:17,690
and say I'm saving them
for friends
447
00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:20,160
when, in fact, I just
like having empty seats
448
00:18:20,290 --> 00:18:21,560
on either side of me!
449
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,400
Summers: You're a disgrace
to moviegoing
450
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:25,140
like those people
who stand up to salute
451
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,280
the Nicole Kidman AMC ad.
452
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:30,620
Flamethrower, activate!
453
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,620
Oh, thank God.
I didn't...
454
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,630
Man: Aah!
455
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,370
Aagh!
456
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,780
Summers: kill you. Aww.
457
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:46,580
I killed every terrorist.
458
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,650
Either Mario Lopez is terrible
at explaining
459
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,320
advanced robotic weaponry,
460
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:52,930
or maybe I'm just not
cut out for this job.
461
00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:54,530
-Ooh!
-Ooh!
462
00:18:56,770 --> 00:18:59,310
Oh, hi. My name's Summers.
463
00:18:59,410 --> 00:19:01,640
I'm Wynona.
I work at the morgue.
464
00:19:01,780 --> 00:19:03,280
Summers: What a coincidence.
465
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,180
I recently put
several people in the morgue.
466
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,590
Vinton: What are you doing?
467
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,290
The half-head disposal
is for half-heads only.
468
00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:10,800
You just put a whole head in!
469
00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:12,930
Everybody down!
It's gonna blow!
470
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:15,070
Force field, activate!
471
00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:16,670
[Wynona gasps]
472
00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:19,310
Summers: Ohh!
473
00:19:19,350 --> 00:19:21,080
You saved my life.
474
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,350
How can I ever repay you?
475
00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:24,690
Oh. Heh heh. You don't have to.
476
00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:25,960
OK. Bye.
477
00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:28,630
Kang: Let's go scrap you
for parts.
478
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,940
No. This made me realize that
I may be built to kill,
479
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,470
but I'm born to protect.
480
00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:35,480
Instead of sitting watching
the world go round,
481
00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:37,350
I just did something that
felt good
482
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,450
in my heart and my armpit.
483
00:19:39,490 --> 00:19:41,090
Then let's find you a partner,
484
00:19:41,190 --> 00:19:43,230
someone dark enough
to keep your brightness
485
00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:44,500
from blinding people.
486
00:19:44,630 --> 00:19:46,630
Kang, you're gonna
wanna see this.
487
00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:49,110
Thanks,
Sergeant Yorgonawanaseedis.
488
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,740
"Dear detective people"...
489
00:19:50,780 --> 00:19:52,380
Flute: It's been a few years,
but I wanted to let you
490
00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:54,050
know I'm doing great.
491
00:19:54,150 --> 00:19:56,390
Please continue not trying to
find me since I'm doing great,
492
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,120
as evidenced by the number
of times I've told you
493
00:19:58,220 --> 00:19:59,490
I'm doing great in this letter.
494
00:19:59,530 --> 00:20:01,530
Yours greatly,
Former Detective Flute.
495
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:03,500
P.S. Please ignore
the tear stains on this letter.
496
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,100
They are tears
of manly confidence.
497
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,110
Again, doing great.
498
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,380
Kang: Well, the stationary's
from the Putitt Inn.
499
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:11,350
Summers,
I think I just found you
500
00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:14,090
your borderline, suicidal,
toxic partner.
501
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,130
You had me at borderline.
502
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:19,400
Pentos: Wait. So your penis
is under your arm?
503
00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:21,540
I think you
misunderstood the story.
504
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,410
No. I believe 'tis you
who has misunderstood
505
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:26,380
your own tragic tale.
506
00:20:26,410 --> 00:20:28,280
Yeah, it was a story
about meeting me.
507
00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:30,020
Martinez: All right.
I'm tired of cleaning.
508
00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:31,520
Let's hit happy hour.
509
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,290
Wynona: But we didn't
really clean much up.
510
00:20:33,430 --> 00:20:35,300
Kang: It's just a construct to
get us to tell stories.
511
00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:36,870
Maybe we'll do it every season.
512
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,840
Of detective work.
Right, Flute?
513
00:20:39,870 --> 00:20:40,840
Flute?
514
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,780
[Flute grunting]
515
00:20:42,810 --> 00:20:46,390
Oh! Ooh! Thanks!
You almost got me, Gus.
516
00:20:46,420 --> 00:20:49,430
Gus: Yeah! Ha ha!
Me almost eat you.
517
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,170
Flute: Now, that would have
been a good story.
518
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:54,770
[Laughter]
519
00:20:56,770 --> 00:20:58,010
Pentos: Shotgun.
520
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,190
Well, we missed happy hour.
521
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,860
Time for regular old sad hour.
522
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,160
But I got to learn more
about you, partner.
523
00:21:07,190 --> 00:21:08,570
Nothing sad about that.
524
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,170
Then you weren't
really listening.
525
00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:12,570
We never really
discussed the giant fungus.
526
00:21:12,710 --> 00:21:15,410
-What was his story?
-Or hers.
527
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,050
[Others groan]
528
00:21:17,180 --> 00:21:18,320
Kang: Not our problem.
529
00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:19,450
I found him a new job,
530
00:21:19,590 --> 00:21:22,060
and I think he's gonna
like it.
531
00:21:29,070 --> 00:21:30,810
The end!
532
00:21:35,050 --> 00:21:35,950
Voice: Bento!
37677
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