Original subtitles

What's up there, Raj?

What's the matter, cat's got your tongue?

If that were the case, it'd be the first time he's ever had a pussy in his

mouth.

He just has a little bit of trouble talking to women.

Unlike me, hot stuff.

Maybe you should let me show you how to put that muffie where my mouth is.

And I suppose you know a lot about eating pussy.

Well, let's just say we don't just be kosher at my house, if you know what I

mean, my little goy toy.

Don't you live with your mother?

Uh, no, I mean, I don't, I don't eat her.

Uh, yeah.

Um, so Penny, I was...

I was wondering, well, I was just thinking if you would like to come to

-Con with us, maybe.

Well, actually, Leonard, I looked it up on the Internet, and no offense, but

hanging out with a bunch of fat grown men in their Superman costumes with skid

marks in their underwear really isn't my idea of a good time. I mean, what kind

of nerds really dress up for this anyways?

Well, you know, it's not just about comic books and guys in

eclectic outfits or anything like that.

As a matter of fact, there's going to be a lot of movie stars there.

That's right. And I even heard that Brad Pitt's going to be there talking about

his new movie, Good Looking Hitman.

Oh, my God. You mean the Brad Pitt?

Well, in that case, show me to my underoos.

But I guess you only have tickets for the guys.

I'm sure I could get another ticket.

And that's when I learned to never take a girl on a date to a Bollywood movie.

Because they keep dancing away before you can receive fellatio?

That is correct.

How am I supposed to concentrate?

I'm getting on that new open grid computer.

It's you spewing off about your inability to ejaculate on the opposite

Good luck getting on that dumb machine.

That bitch Leslie has all of the time booked for herself and her research. I

would hardly call a study of molecular structure of craters as they get closer

to the sun research.

More like star search.

Maybe she'd get Ed McMahon as her lab assistant.

What? Too soon?

What? If you convert our formula for getting set to getting computer time.

Solid idea, Raj.

I can use my words to seduce Leslie to get on the computer.

Well, if it isn't the lonely ranger and his sidekick, Tonto.

I'm a customer service Indian, not a casino Indian.

Are you talking?

Hello, Leslie.

You look... beautiful.

What did you say, Donald?

I said... you look... beautiful today.

What? Oh, come on, don't let me say it again.

Why would you say that to me?

Because I think that's true. And that was not a lie.

I mean, why would I lie about something like that?

Me lying to get something I wanted? That's ridiculous.

Ha!

Well, I didn't know you felt that way about me. I did.

nasty and then we'll share the computer.

Okay.

But after, you have to stop calling me dumbass.

Don't push your dumbass.

Very well.

Carry on.

Hmm.

Yeah.

I love you.

I love you.

Bye.

That's not what I meant.