Original subtitles

I got this one. Get back. Oh, it's on my side. I'll get it. Oh, please. Let me.

Let me.

Okay.

You get it.

I thought you were going to get it. Well, I was, but I thought you were

shove me out of the way like you did on every other shot. And now you see why.

Great.

Thanks to you. One more point. It's their match.

Oh, Tony, it's only a game.

Only a game, Angel? Only a game? Only losers say it's only a game.

Match point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

New strategy. Come here.

We'll divide up the court. You play the section here.

What section?

The section right around your feet.

I'll take everything else.

Gee, do you think I can handle it? It doesn't matter. I'm going to back you

Get it! Get it!

Why didn't you get it?

It was out of my section.

We're going to have to listen to those animals gloat over kicking our butts.

Nice game.

me more too found a trail and at the end was

you there's a path we take and a path not

taken the choice is up to you my friend it ain't so long but you might awaken to

a brand new

Listen, you see that gentleman over there with his granddaughter?

Would you just send her a hot fudge sundae and tell her that the best team

Very good, sir. Thank you. Oh, that is so sweet of you, Tony.

Oh, gee, Angela, you know, I know I go crazy and I lose my temper, and I hate

when I do that.

It's okay.

It's just you. Thank you. Thank you.

You know, Angela, salud.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Angela.

And this fish is the worst.

And what would you do? Wrestle this away from the cat?

Uh, is there a problem, sir? Yeah, yes, there's a problem. I ordered a salmon.

You bring me a minnow.

There must be a hundred people in this restaurant that I know and they're all

staring. Angela, please, just imagine.

What are you looking at, pal?

Would you like me to take your lunch back? Yes, I'd like you to take my lunch

back and use it as a piece of bait to catch me a real fish.

And by the way, tell the chef to come out here. I'd like to talk to him right

now. Tony, Tony, this is not worth dragging the chef out for. What are you

talking about, Angela? We are having our wedding reception here. I want to make

sure this thing doesn't happen then. Oh, Tony, we've been to a million functions

here and they've always been fine.

They've always been fine? I don't want fine, Angela. I want perfection.

Well, I'm sure it will be. And even if it isn't absolutely perfect, that'll be

okay, too.

What? You see, Angela?

The minute that you're ready to accept failure on a tennis court, it spills

into the rest of your life.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about your lackadaisical attitude.

Lackadaisical? Yes, lackadaisical.

Well, at least I'm not competitive, obsessive, and demanding.

Hey, yo, I called you one name. You called me three. That's not fair.

It's also not lackadaisical.

Okay, fine. Call me names. But at least I'm man enough to stand up for what I

want. And you know what? While I'm up, I'm out of here.

Is this fish big enough for you?

I think I'm gonna need a little more lemon.

I'm trying to study. You walk into a room and I can't think straight.

Oh, I'm sorry. Honey, do you want me to leave?

I didn't say that.

Oh, the newlyweds.

Oh, we were just studying.

If you're lucky, she'll keep you after class.

Sam, I've really got to get to my books. You may be done with your finals, but

I'm not.

Okay, don't worry because I'm not going to distract you again, okay? I promise.

Saluda. Y 'all packed?

Yeah. Look at this brochure. This spa has everything.

Facials, mud baths, massages. Oh, look at that jacuzzi. Oh, I just love to sit

in that hot tub and have a massage and then have someone just pour me into bed

all warm and relaxed.

Stop it!

Do you want me to just go into the other room? How about another state?

Mona, please, take her with you or I'll never get any studying done.

Maybe it would be better if I went with you. You sure?

Well, if I don't leave Hank alone, he'll never accomplish anything.

I understand.

Same was true with me and Dr. Leo Thompson and his cure for the common

There is no cure for the common cold. Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

Hey, guys, how was tennis?

Not good.

Tony and I have agreed never to play tennis together again.

Or eat lunch together.

Or drive in the same car. Hey, the guy cut me off. So you had to cut him off?

Yeah. Hey, is it just me, or are you two having more and more of these petty

fights the closer it gets to the wedding?

You know, I think you're right.

Oh, baloney.

What?

What?

Yeah. It's just me.

See, there is only one thing to do here. The two of you have to go your separate

ways. What are you talking about?

Only for a couple of days. Angela, you come to the spa with Sam and me. Tony,

you stay here.

You two obviously need a breather from each other. You guys have been bickering

a lot lately. We're not that bad. We certainly don't need separate vacations.

That's right.

And if things have been a little strained between us.

It's only because I've been under a lot of pressure at work, and I'm sorry,

Tony. Oh, Angel, it's not you. It's not you. You know, I've been going crazy

with the wedding plans and everything. If there's any fault here, it's mine.

Don't blame yourself. Well, I want to blame myself. Well, you shouldn't.

don't tell me what to do, huh?

I'm not telling you what to do, and don't be so defensive. Defensive? I'm

being defensive. I'm just trying to take responsibility for something I don't

feel responsible for.

Oh, so you think this is all my fault? Yes, and that little fish was little.

I can be packed in 20 minutes. Oh, you know, if I was going with you, I could

ready in 15.

How was your massage?

Mmm.

Who was your masseur?

Carl.

Mmm.

You were right. This is a great idea. It's exactly what I needed.

Oh, well, sure. You just needed to get away from the tension, the pressure. The

Tony.

Oh, I just felt something not up.

Don't get me wrong. I love Tony. I just wish he was a little bit more laid back.

I don't know why he always has to push and drive and nitpick.

Will you stop it? You came down here to get away from Tony. Stop thinking about

him. I'm out of sight, out of mind.

Maybe not so out of sight.

Boy, does that guy look like Dad.

Where?

He is kind of Tony -esque.

Oh, my God. It's Tony's doppelganger.

What? You have seen Tony's doppelganger?

It means his double.

be Tony's twin.

If I didn't know better, I would swear that was Tom.

Well, I think that was out.

No, definitely not, Tony.

Looks like he's coming over here. Uh -oh, be cool. Okay.

Hi,

I couldn't help but notice you kept looking at me there. Do I know you, or

just the way I wear my suit?

No, you just look remarkably like someone I know.

Well, I do get that a lot.

That guy from Taxi, right?

Just a guy she's not supposed to be thinking about right now. Hi, I'm Mona.

hi, Mona. And this is Samantha.

Hi. Pleasure. And this is my daughter, Angela.

Close your mouth, dear.

Tom Serratelli. Nice to meet you, Angela.

May I join you?

Sure. Yeah.

Serratelli. That's an Italian.

Isn't it? You wouldn't happen to have any relatives in Brooklyn, would you?

my family's from San Francisco.

Oh, that's great.

It's nowhere near Brooklyn.

She also knows many state capitals.

You're pretty cool about that tennis ball in the soup thing.

Somebody else probably would have completely flipped out.

Really? Well, my philosophy of life is to just...

You know, take things as they come.

Let life flow over you like a mountain spring, and eventually you'll reach that

placid lake.

Hypothetically speaking, you're driving down the road, and someone cuts you off.

What do you do?

Well, I've never given that much thought, Angela, but I guess I would

and let the lout pass me by.

You know, I never can understand why people get so upset over traffic

You see it all the time. And I think, why absorb all that negative energy?

It's just not a good life choice.

So, you wouldn't slam on your brakes, cut him off, and scream at your poor

fiancé all the way home? Oh, heavens no.

Heavens no. I mean, what kind of man would be that immature, that childish?

The guy cuts me off, right? And I explode.

But the last time, because I get his license plate number, right?

I make a couple of calls. I get his address.

And now I'm mailing him a stink bomb.

You've got a lot of time on your hands, don't you, Tony? Yeah, yeah, I do, I do.

Especially with your mom gone. But you know what? I love it, I love it. You

know, I needed a little break from her. Not to have to think about her, not to

have to worry about her. Just a little free time for me to do my own thing, you

know. Great, so what's first? You going out? Yeah, I'm going to go get Angela's

car washed, and I'm going to take her closer to the laundry.

Boy, you're a real wild guy, Tony.

Let's see, we've got a scarf.

We've got a couple of jackets here.

There are a pair of men's pants.

Wait a minute.

What do a pair of men's pants do in an Angela's closet?

I don't know. Maybe they're mine.

I don't think so.

Well, I'm sure there's some explanation. I wouldn't worry about it. I'm not

worried. I'm not going to be worried about it. I'm not worried. Okay.

All right.

Have a good time, but be careful out there. See you later. Okay.

I'll get to the bottom of these pants.

Ha -ha.

Sugarless gum.

He's tall, he's got good teeth, and he's missing his pants.

Should stick out like a sore thumb.

Hey, what are you doing?

A little detective work.

Oh, just mail the stink bomb and get it over with.

No, no, no, no. I'm on a new case now.

I found this pair of men's pants.

rolled up in Angela's closet, just tossed there like in a moment of

Angela? Yeah, and it had to be within the last three weeks because that's the

last time I cleaned out her closet, which coincides directly with the time

she started getting a little tense and impatient with me.

Coincidence?

Yes. Tony, Tony, don't let your imagination carry you away.

I won't, but look at this.

A monogram.

T .T.

T .T., tall guy, tall guy.

Tommy Toon!

You want this one, Angela?

No, I think it's your turn. Oh, gee, I hate to hog it.

Oops. Oh, well.

You know, no matter how many times that happens, it always makes me laugh.

I told you I wasn't a very good doubles partner.

Well, that's okay.

I don't mind losing.

Nice game.

Sure taught me a thing or two.

Bye -bye.

Maybe you could have won with your regular partner. No, but to tell you the

truth, she takes tennis so seriously. Don't you just hate that? Who needs this

dress?

You know, I never realized that tennis could actually be fun.

Well, then perhaps you've been playing with the wrong guy.

T .T.

Bingo.

Hello,

Ted Thomas.

You don't know me, but how long is your inseam?

You know that this is from your cup to your...

didn't tell him your name, Ted Thomas is my shop teacher.

Is he tall?

Will you forget the pants? I can't. I can't forget the pants. I gotta know

what's going on, Jonathan. I gotta know.

Uh -oh.

This is well done. I ordered it rare.

Well, you can't always get what you want.

You can if you send it back. Waiter!

There's no reason to make a fuss.

I'm not making a fuss. I just want what I ordered.

Why don't you take this as an opportunity to try something new?

I don't want new, Tom.

I want red meat.

Blood red meat.

Waiter!

You're making a scene. No need to be so uptight. I am not! How can you be so

lackadaisical?

A million years from now, no one... will care if your burger was well done or

rare. And a million years from now, nobody will care if I bother the waiter.

Hey, you, get over here.

Angela,

please. People are starting to stare.

Oh, that's just your imagination.

Hey, what are you looking at, pal?

Hey, everybody, we're home.

Oh,

hey, guys. How was the trip? Oh, it was great. Sam?

Damn. Hi, honey. How's studying going?

Great. I'm done. Now it's just you and me?

Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Honey, what's the matter? I spent too much time

exercising. I mean, between tennis, aerobics, the weight room, I've pulled

muscle in my body.

Oh, you poor thing. No, don't touch me, okay? At least not for a week.

Rookies, they gotta learn to play with pain.

Sweetheart, how was your weekend?

Oh, just great.

Oh, well, good.

Where's Tony?

My guest, talking Tommy Toon. What?

He found a pair of men's pants in Mom's closet. He's been going nuts over it the

whole weekend.

You're kidding.

Hello, England.

Hi,

Mona.

How was the trip?

Very nice.

Good. That's good to hear.

Oops.

My shoe's untied.

My goodness,

Tony. Where did you get those very long laces?

You told her everything, didn't you? Not everything. I was trying to protect her

dignity.

Too late.

Wait a minute. Don't pitch. It's not funny.

It's not funny. You have nothing to laugh about. You have some explaining to

Who is T .T.? And why are his pants in your closet?

Well, I guess I better tell you.

Do you remember when I was working on the commercial for that tall man's

Here?

Oh, no.

Not one of them models.

Which one?

The wooden one.

The wooden one? The wooden one? Well, none of them could act worth a damn.

one?

The mannequin.

The mannequin? The tall wooden mannequin from the tall threads shop.

So the T .T. stood for tall threads.

And I was jealous over a mannequin.

Right again.

How fitting. Those pants went from one dummy to another.

God, you amused me.

I don't believe you.

I know. I know. I went crazy.

I flipped out.

Add it to the list of those little traits of mine that drive you crazy.

Go ahead. Let me have it. Give me your best shot. I deserve it.

What was that for?

That's for all your little traits that drive me crazy.

And that's for all your traits that don't.

And that's for the whole package.

So what you're saying is that you love me, once and all.

Even the things that some people might call obnoxious.

I didn't know how much I missed them until they were gone.

Well, that's great, Angela.

Because, you know, I got some other traits that are going to curl your hair.

Come on, I'll fill you in. I'll fill you in. Come on.

Admit it.

Admit it.

Who's this banana?

Just someone I played some tennis with.

No one to be jealous of.

Jealous? What are you kidding me? Over this goofy looking bird?

I want to compliment you.

I missed three shots and you didn't yell at me once.

Well, Angela.

I've grown.

Hey, hey, I know you.

Aren't you that guy from Taxi?

No, no, I'm not. But I do get that a lot.

Come on, come on. You look just like him. You must be him.

Look, pal, I just told you. I'm not him. So take it on the arches, will you?

Some people.

Excuse me. Yeah.

Aren't you that guy from Taxi?

That's me.