Original subtitles

So, so what you're saying is, is that Jerome will be able to cater our wedding

on May the 14th. Oh, that's great. That's great.

But wait a minute. I thought he was doing that lady's hundredth birthday

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Oh, yes, please. Make sure you give them my condolences.

I'm sorry.

Everything's falling into place.

All right, now that I have Jerome, we're going to have to dump the other

caterer. And since Jerome only works with the best, I need a new baker, a new

florist, and a new photographer. Yes. So much to do, so little time, Angela.

You know, sometimes I wish we planned a more intimate affair.

Say, in a chapel like this one.

You know, a quiet, cozy little place in the woods, just you and me and a white

-haired minister and his chubby little wife playing the organ.

Oh, Angela, that sounds awful.

Come on, Angela, the invitations are out, and I thought we agreed. Tony, we

but you know, I've been through a wedding before, and a big one, and

it's big!

Angela, I haven't! I eloped!

I missed out on the church and the big ceremony and the family, the friends,

the music. Oh, and by the way, how do you feel about Close to You by the

Carpenters? I hate it.

Oh, me too. I hate it too, see? We're not that far apart on this.

Angel, please, I promise I'll keep it small.

I'm going to keep it small, Angel.

It'll be small.

It'll be small.

Smaller than Operation Desert Storm.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, hiya, Sam.

Hiya. How's it going? Oh, so much to do. So much to do.

Oh, okay. Well, maybe now isn't a good time. No, no, no, no. For what? For

Have a seat. Have a seat. Okay. Well, Hank and I have been seeing each other

every day, and it's kind of getting serious. Oh, that's great. Who's Hank?

You met him, remember, at the dorm?

Oh, yeah. I met him. That's right. Did I like him?

Yes. Well, kind of.

Anyway, you're going to be seeing a lot more of him, which is kind of what I

wanted to talk to you about.

I get it. I get it.

You want me to invite him to the wedding?

Well, actually... Okay, okay. I'll do it. But what's going to happen in three

months' time when the wedding rolls around and old Henko is history?

Believe me, Dad, he won't be.

Okay. Okay, I'm putting him down, but in pencil.

Look, Dad, I just wanted to tell you that... Oh, I'm so glad you're here. You

know why?

I want to show you a picture of the bridesmaid's dresses.

Now, I know you're going to think it's a lot of taffeta, but give it a chance.

Hi,

honey. Hi.

So,

how'd it go with your dad? Did you tell him?

Well, actually, I told him how terrific you were, and he wants you to come to

his wedding.

That's nice.

Did you invite him to ours?

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

Well, we're tired.

I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail.

You didn't tell him we were getting married, did you?

Look, I tried to tell Dad, but it just... Tell me what?

Hank, Dad, Dad, Hank. Oh, hey, Hank. Sure, sure. How you doing, Hank?

Are you ready to go to heaven on a tap of the cloud?

It's lovely, Dad. It's lovely.

Ooh, off the shoulder.

Very sexy.

I'm ordering hers with a hood.

See? Now you understand why it's so hard to tell him about something like

marriage.

Are you sure we're doing the right thing?

Oh, you want to go over this again?

Hold on, let me get comfortable.

Look, we've only been together for a couple of months and we're so young and

haven't finished school yet.

And we have no money.

Exactly. I mean, we don't know what we're going to be doing or where we're

to be living. And are we jumping into something that's supposed to last

You must be crazy. Absolutely.

Totally nuts. Exactly.

So, uh, why are we doing this again?

Because you're crazy and I'm nuts.

Oh, yeah.

Go next.

Stupid TV.

Better. Oh, foul, foul, foul.

Did you see that? He butchered him.

You think this veil is too sheer?

This place gets weirder every day.

Hi, I'm Hank.

I am Mona.

It's really a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't

it on her. She's easy.

And proud of it.

Why don't we join you?

Angela, this is Hank.

Hello, how are you? Are you a Knicks fan?

Well, actually, I'm more of a live and breathe them.

You know, I never used to be interested in sports either until Tony turned me on

to them.

Hey, what do you think of that tiara?

I like the neck, and I like tiaras.

How am I doing?

Vanderway just blew another layup. You know he hasn't done diddly since he had

that knee surgery.

He should be okay.

Arthroscopy is a pretty minor procedure. It's usually done to repair the lateral

or medial meniscus to keep the patella in place.

How'd you know that?

Actually, Dad...

Hank has taken a lot of courses in anatomy and physiology.

Well, you kind of have to when you're pre -med.

Pre -med?

Oh.

Hank, right? Hank. It is Hank, right?

Hank, pre -med. So you're interested in my daughter? Yes, sir. Very interested.

Oh, Mona, get the doctor a drink.

Why don't I just squat down? He could use me as a footstool.

Want to put your feet up there, Hank?

I mean, have you applied to medical schools yet? Yes, I had to in my junior

year. I've been accepted to a couple of places. Oh, wow.

That's great.

Have we decided where we're going? Yes. The University of Connecticut. Wow.

All right. You come.

Do they have a medical school?

I don't know. I'll be taking graduate courses in puppetry.

I mean, first you work on puppets, and then they let you practice on real

people, right?

No, it makes perfect sense, Sam. You see, puppets can't sue you for

right?

They don't bleed, they can't scream, and if you make a mistake at the end of the

day, you just throw them away, you know?

You're not going to be a doctor, are you?

You're going to spend the rest of your life with your hand up a puppet?

It's more than that.

I never really liked medicine.

Puppets were always my first love.

I had a G .I. Joe I was fond of. Can one make a living at

puppeteering?

Sure. Look at Sherry Lewis and Jim Henson, Frank Oz. Nancy Reagan?

Stop that.

Hank was just pre -med to make his parents happy. I mean, aren't you the

that always says you should follow your heart? Yeah, and I did.

This wasn't a decision I made lightly.

Puppeteering is an underrated art form that requires years of study.

Oh, where?

At the Mortimer Snurd Academy?

Tony. How do you do to you?

Tony. Kids would kill for the opportunity you're throwing away.

Tony. What?

The TV reception. Could you do something about it? Angela, it's just that stupid

antenna again.

I know, but could you fix it?

Now? Well, they're just about to go into overtime.

All right, all right.

Hank, go help him. I don't know anything. Hank, I'll help you, Dad.

Okay, come on.

After you, Geppetto.

He wants to be the puppeteer.

Okay, I'm done.

Be sure you tied the rope nice and tight, huh? Oh, yeah, it's secure.

You won't fall. All right.

Now, look, I'm real sorry about coming on so strong back there. Can I ask you

one question?

I mean, why a puppeteer?

Well, because I wasn't into medicine, but entertaining children is something I

love. And I think I can be great at it.

Oh, you really like him? What's not to like? He's cute, he's bright, he's got a

great sense of humor.

Yeah, that part about being a puppeteer was hilarious.

Hey, I like him too.

Yeah, he's terrific, isn't he? I think that we are really good for each other.

Oh, I've got to go pick up Jonathan.

Angela. Yeah?

May I borrow your jag?

Why?

So you can drive by the gym and pretend you're a talent agent again?

Hey, over half those guys ended up on film.

This time, don't forget Jonathan.

Oh, I hope Hank and Dad are getting along okay up there.

Wait a minute.

This one's really serious, isn't it?

Just how serious?

Oh, come on. What are you kidding me? Look.

Kermit and Big Bird are stars legitimately, and they're all right.

I mean, but Bird and Ernie, they're like the luckiest guys in show business.

All right, look.

I think that should just about do it. Here we go.

Oh, no!

What? She's moving the car! So what?

You tied my rope to a car.

Well, what were you thinking?

I wanted to tie it to a tree, but the rope wasn't long enough. The jag was

there. I figured it would be safe for five minutes.

You tie trailers to a car.

You tie tin cans to a car. You do not tie men to a car.

I found a bandage. Here, let me wrap it. What? I know how to wrap an ankle. Oh,

then what are you going to do, tie me to a bullet train? No way.

Get away. for me. Get out of her house and get out of my life.

Tony, that's maybe easier said than done. I was talking to Sam.

It's all right. I'm leaving. No, Hank, don't wait.

Believe this guy. He tied me to a car.

I know. I know. I should know better, Angela.

Sam will date him for three weeks. It'll be love and then it'll be over. Same

old story.

Or they could end up getting married and you could learn to love him.

Please don't do that. It hurts when I laugh.

Okay, well, we're going to get you to bed. Take some aspirin. Let's go. Help

up. Help me up.

The puppeteer tried to kill me. Yes, honey.

Now what?

Hello.

Hi. You must be Angela.

Yes.

Glad to meet you. Glad to meet you.

Thank you.

Who are you? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Joe Thermopolis. This is the wife, Fran.

And you must be Tony.

We have heard so much about you.

What the hell? Come here.

Thank you. Thank you.

Who are you?

I'm Tony Fran.

Hank's parents.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, Hank's parents. Hey, nice kid you got there. Ties a hell of a knot.

Sorry to barge in unannounced, but when we heard Hank's news, we just had to

rush right over.

Hank's news?

Oh, you mean about his plans for the future? It was quite unexpected, but

thrilled with his choice.

Really? Are you kidding me? I mean, you don't think he's throwing his life away?

Tony, that's a very strange thing for you to say.

You are Sam's father.

Oh, you're right, you're right. It's not my place to say anything.

Nonsense. You have a big say -so in this.

All right, now you're going to let me, you know.

I mean, if I were Hank's parents, I'd try to smack some sense into him, you

know.

I mean, talk about trading down sheets.

What have you got against Sam?

What have you got against marriage?

What are you talking about?

Hank's marriage.

Hank's married? He's married and he's dating my daughter? I'll kill him. I'll

kill him.

But there's nothing to think about.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Yes, yes. No.

It's okay. He's just thinking.

Did we get married? Yes.

And you knew about this? She told me when you were on the roof, and I figured

I told you, you'd fall off. I fell off anyway.

And by the way, it was because of your kid.

Look, Hank, it's not you. He just, he gets like that sometimes.

We just have to deal with this in a mature way.

Oh, Sam.

Sam. Oh, my God. He knows what to do. What to do.

How do you know he knows? The eyes. Look at the eyes.

He knows.

Hi, kids.

Want to roll down the window a crack?

Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Sam.

Just heard the funniest thing.

Guess what it was.

Sam, I didn't tell your father anything.

Then who did?

I did.

Oh,

my God.

I'm trying to see you.

Dad, how did you find me here?

Well, we got your message, we went to the dorm, and your roommate said you

here with your fiancé.

Sam?

Fiancé?

Angela, get in the car. I'm going to lay down in front of it.

Tony. Please, let's not be so dramatic. Sam. What are you thinking?

Easy, guy.

I know this comes as a bit of a shock. So why don't we go in the house and talk

about it?

After all, we're going to be family.

It can't be. It can't be happening, Angel. It can't be happening.

It's okay, Tony. They're not married yet. We're going to go in the house and

work it out. Okay, but if it doesn't work out, can I kill him?

No. He tried to kill me, Angel. He tied me to a car and told me to leave.

Sam, don't worry about your father.

We were a little surprised at first, too, but we got over it. And now, we

couldn't be happier.

Just leave it to me.

Your old man and I talk the same language. We're both a couple of real

My little girl.

Tony, Angela, sit down. Let's talk.

Anybody want coffee? Fran, make some coffee.

Dad, he's a real take -charge kind of guy.

Mr. Thermopolis, I... Thermopolis.

Samantha Thermopolis.

My daughter's gonna be a tongue twister.

Look, Dad, this isn't the way I wanted you to find out.

Hank said it from the beginning. We should just be honest and upfront. But

was just, like, never a right time to tell you. The fact is, we love each

very much.

We talked about living together.

That's...

Well, we figured, so getting married seemed to be the right step for us.

so young.

The two of you are so young. Why can't you wait?

Well, they're not that young.

Fran and I were 20 when we got married.

Thank you so much for your help, Fran.

Coffee's brewing.

Have some cookies, and don't forget to take a napkin. Yes, yes, yes.

By the way, by the way, I love your place.

Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony.

I don't want to tell you how to be a parent, but you've got to learn to go

the flow.

Realize the kids are going to do what kids are going to do.

And what are the kids going to do for money? I guarantee you they're not going

to have to worry about it. Business is good. I'll take care of them until Hank

finishes medical school, and then he'll be making plenty of money.

Medical school?

That's right.

Our son's going to be a doctor.

I know something you don't know.

Mom? Dad?

I was going to tell you. Oh, please.

Please let me. Let me.

Please.

Please let me.

Dad. Dad.

Okay, okay. I just didn't even watch. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Please don't be upset, but I'm not going to medical school. What? Oh, no, no,

Joe, Joe, Joe. You haven't heard the best part yet.

Ask him why. Ask him why.

Tommy, you're enjoying this a little too much. That's a pleasure in my life,

too.

Why aren't you going?

The fact is, I'm going to be a puppeteer.

Puppeteer?

You know, Joe.

I mean, I don't want to tell you how to be a parent, but you've got to learn to

go with the flow.

Hank, why would you do such a thing?

Because I wasn't happy in pre -med.

And this is something I love.

And like Sam says, you've got to follow your heart.

Sam told you that?

You talked to my son out of medical school?

Well, no. I just supported his decision.

And I still do. And if you decided to jump off a bridge, would you support

decision, too? No, but I would.

Anybody's life is getting shortchanged here. It's my daughter's because your

son, your son talked to me to get married way too young.

Our son never talked about dropping out of medical school until he met your

daughter. He was a fine young man until that little hussy got her hooks into

him. I am not a hussy.

And it wasn't hooks. It was Velcro.

Motherfucker.

Well, these are Hank's parents, and Hank and Sam want to get married.

Married? Oh, and of course, Tony doesn't want them to.

You betcha.

Of course not.

Why don't they just sack up?

Jonathan.

I taught him well. Yes, mother.

What kind of family is this? The kind of family that will never be related to

yours. You're telling me. Those two will get married over my dead body. Please,

don't try to cheer me up.

Don't talk to my husband like that. And don't talk to my Tony like that. And

take off my apron. Oh, excuse me, Angela, but that happens to be my apron.

why am I not surprised?

I want you and your puppet head son out of my house right now. Fine with me.

Hank, let's go. And Sam, stay. Sam, stay. Hank?

Where'd they go?

They're gone.

We get on the interstate and it's about, uh...

40 miles to the chapel.

Are you sure we're doing the right thing?

If we want to be together, do we have any choice?