Original subtitles

Okay, I'm all ready. Oh, you're coming to the airport to pick up your mother

with us?

Get real.

I'm catching a plane to Bermuda.

Mother, I was hoping this time things would be different between you two.

They will.

She'll be here and I'll be on the beach trolling for cabana boys.

Come on, Marta, what do you mean? How could you not want to see your own

What's the matter? Is she afraid she's going to give you a curfew?

Oh, she makes me nervous and awkward and uptight. I mean, when she's around, I

feel like Angela.

Uh -oh. You think Bermuda's far enough?

Very funny, you two. Mother, you have to stay here.

Angela, she's really here to see you. Believe me, she will not even know that

I'm gone.

Mother! Angela!

You see?

Nana! Oh, Nana! Nana's here!

Nana's here!

This isn't Jonathan, is it? How long has it been?

Oh, eight birthday checks. And thanks for keeping pace with inflation.

What else would I do with my money?

Oh, hello, dear.

Now, what happened to your plan? I thought you weren't due for another two

hours. The last minute I decided to take the Concord at my age, every second

counts.

Now she'll be here an extra two hours.

What did you say?

Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why,

why,

why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why,

why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why,

why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why,

why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why,

why, why, why,

why, why,

And you are... How does it feel, big mouth?

I'm sorry.

Forgive my manners.

Nana, I want you to meet Tony Maselli. Tony, my Nana, Mrs. Reynolds.

Hello, Mrs. Reynolds. So this is the famous housekeeper from Brooklyn you

me about.

He's even more attractive than you described him.

Thank you, thank you. And I'm not just a pretty face.

I can cook, too.

Here, let me get your coat. Oh, thank you, dear.

So, Angela, when am I going to meet your fiancé? You just did.

You're going to marry your housekeeper?

Yes.

Never.

That's the worst case of jet lag I've ever seen.

To a brand new life, brand new life, brand new life around the bend.

Nana?

Nana?

Here, here, here. Try this, try this.

Garlic? Yeah, yeah, trust me. It's like Italian smelling salts.

And after you're finished with it, I'm going to make a great sauce with that.

I hope she's going to be all right. You should have told her about us.

I knew this was going to happen. Mother is a rich, elitist snob. Face it, she's

just a big pain in the... Oh, Mommy, how are you feeling?

Like I died in an Italian restaurant.

It's very common for fainters, you know. Can I get you some tea? Oh, I'll get

it. Can't wait to get away from me, can you, dear?

No, I... And think about what you want to say.

I just want to get you some tea. Tony, where do you keep the water?

The kitchen.

Or boobs, no brains.

Darling, I say that with love.

I just wish that we could be closer.

The way you and I are, dear.

What are you looking for?

Anything that says harmful if swallowed.

I'm just trying to do it both a favor. I'm telling you, when you're on that old

lady's hit list, you're a finish.

Not yet, I'm not.

Well, why bother?

Because that is approval that's very important to Angela and to me. And

where I come from, you get the family's blessing.

Good luck.

All right, let me tell you something.

After I'm finished turning on the old charm, I'll have her eaten out of my

All the way up to the elbow.

Uh,

good morning.

Paper,

mum?

London Times.

Yeah, well, I was going to get you the tattler, but it was this picture of

Fergie in a thong bikini, and I figured since you want to be eating, you know, I

don't... Thank you.

Well,

in honor of your visit, we have English breakfast tea,

and English marmalade, and of course,

English muffins.

What are you doing?

English leather.

Mr. Maselli. Yes, yes. Give it a rest.

Oh,

great, great.

Sam's here. Yeah, you're going to love her. Her?

Oh, yes, my daughter, Samantha. You see, actually, she was the reason that I

originally took this job. You see, our neighborhood was beginning to get a

little rough, and I wanted Sam to have a better life.

Well, that's quite noble of you.

Yes, it is, isn't it?

Anyway, you're going to like her. Yeah, she turned out pretty good. A real lady.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Sam.

Oh, Tom.

Mrs. Reynolds, this is my daughter, Samantha, and her friend, Al. Nice to

you, Mrs. Reynolds.

Hey, Al.

What did I tell you? It's a class act, huh?

Hey, Dad, we're going to go visit Tiny in jail. Want to come?

Well, hey, he will visit you.

In fact, he did.

You were in prison.

Well, it was a poker game about ten years ago. It got a little loud. The

came, but all the charges were dropped.

Yeah, lucky for Tony, they didn't have a search warrant.

Yeah, it was a bad bust.

You guys don't want to miss visiting hours.

But, Dad, Tony's going to be real disappointed.

Hey, what do you say when he gets out, we all go to the track?

Hey, Grandma, you play the pony?

No, I swear I've seen her at the $2 window. Oh, goodbye.

Kids, just say the darndest thing. I mean, you'd at least be at the $10

right?

You've got such a headache.

Yes, of course.

Is she gone?

Yeah, you chicken.

So, have you got her eating out of your hand yet?

No, but... She showed me a lot of teeth.

I don't know what else to do. I made her a great breakfast. I turned on all the

charm. I did everything but tap dance.

Your teeth should be dumped in the harbor.

I'm trying to make an impression here, but nothing seems to work.

Oh, I don't know. I'll always remember your cologne.

Look, I don't care. I don't care. If I can't win your approval, that's okay,

because I can give Angela something better than money and class and a great

life.

We've painted ourselves into a corner, haven't we?

No, no, because I can give her happiness. That's right. And if you

her half as much as you say you do, you wouldn't stand in our way.

Yes.

What's that?

A little gas.

I'm out of here.

Mr. Metelli, last night when I was tucking Angela in, we spoke of you.

time she said your name, her face lit up.

Really? Yes, kind of like that.

Now, who am I to stand in the way of love?

Please forgive an old lady's prejudices ingrained upon her soul for generations.

Done. Thank you.

Hey, you know, I knew inside of that tough exterior was a heart of mush, huh?

And what do you say after my class is we spend the afternoon together?

Nothing could make me happier.

Oh, that's great.

Amazing.

He really got you to like him.

As God is my witness, I will see that that man never marries Angela.

Hi. Hi.

So, you and Nana have fun? Oh.

We had a smashing good time.

We had lunch in Southport, a jaunt through the museum. I even showed her

bowled my .228. You should have seen her face.

Oh, I'm so relieved. I guess we can put Nana at the top of our wedding list. You

are so blind.

She's trying to break you two up.

Oh, come on, Mona.

Let me tell you something. Nana likes me. She thinks I'm a bit of all right.

More than a bit.

Can't you see that she is luring you in?

Here, boy. Here, boy.

Your kibble.

Angela, a gift for the lovebirds.

Ooh, what a fiend.

Oh, oh, my.

Your anti -crystal candlesticks. I've always loved these.

I know that, honey. And now they're yours.

Both of yours.

Oh, Nana.

Oh, Nana.

Don't mumble. Well, I... Phone.

Phone.

She doesn't like me, does she? That's not true. No.

She thinks I'm evil.

Well, that part is true.

She thinks you're trying to break Angela and I up. And I don't know where she

gets these ideas from. Well, I do.

From me.

What?

Yes, when I told her that I was going to give you the candlesticks, I mentioned

that I was concerned that they stay in the family.

Well, why wouldn't they? Yeah, I mean, you know, stuff like this is pretty hard

to pawn, you know.

Kidding. Just kidding.

Why would you even be concerned?

Oh, because of my niece, Claire. Oh, it was just a nightmare when she got

divorced. I mean, her ex -husband got all my mother's china.

My dad rotten rapscallion.

I don't think something we could have done or they could have done to prevent

that.

You mean like a prenuptial agreement?

That's just the phrase Mona used.

Then she made me feel like an awful ogre for even thinking about that. Oh, that

mean old Mona.

Tony and I don't need a prenuptial agreement.

Excuse us a second.

Look, um, listen, I don't mind signing one of those things. I mean, you know,

I'm not after anything.

I know, and that's exactly why I don't want to do it. Hey, look, Nana's an

lady, and if this is bothering her, let's put her mind at ease.

You sure?

I want Nana to be happy.

You are really something.

Bit of all right, eh?

We just talked it over, and we think that a prenuptial agreement wouldn't be

bad idea.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. You mustn't do that for me. No, no, no, please. We

insist. I'll call my lawyer and we'll draw up the papers first thing in the

morning. Oh, honey, I don't know much about this, but don't you think Tony

to have his own lawyer? I mean, his rights have to be protected, too.

Oh, wow.

Well, that's very nice of you, Hannah, but I don't have a lawyer. I do.

Did you see an angel? Oh, wow.

Okay, now you two have agreed that whatever assets each brings to this

that's what you'll walk away with, right?

Not that we'll ever walk away. That's right.

Okay, good.

I'll need to see your files of income, assets, and holdings.

That's, uh...

Everything you own, Tony? Oh, what are you kidding me? Here, look.

Now, when you two get married, are you planning on putting the house in both

your names?

Oh, well, now that you mention it... No, no, no way, no way. Come on.

This house is hers.

So, in the event of divorce or death, you relinquish all claims to the house?

Absolutely. Positively. Excuse me, can I have a word with my client here?

Did I say something wrong?

As your lawyer, it's my duty to inform you that once you're married, you may

have a real interest in this house.

You mean aside from cleaning it?

I'm talking about ownership. You will have contributed to paying off the

maintaining it, and helping its appreciation.

Really? You know, Tony, he has a point. In the future, you really will have a

stake in this house.

So if you and Tony stay married, say, ten years...

You're willing to give him a percentage of the house, right?

Uh,

sure.

That's not necessary.

How much?

75%. Hey, if you don't ask, you don't get.

Very funny. I think 50 % is fine.

I agree.

Hey, hey, I'm half a homeowner.

Me too.

All right, let's move on to Angela's other chief asset, which would be the

agency. Oh, whoa, whoa, hold it, hold it. Now, look, I have nothing to do with

that, you know. I mean, I never even cleaned the offices, right?

That's hers, that's hers.

So in the event of divorce or death, you relinquish all claims to the business?

Absolutely. Excuse me, can I have another one?

You know, I'm starting to feel like Ali North.

By taking care of the home and allowing Angela to do her job.

The law credits you with producing half the assets of her business.

No wonder I'm so tired at the end of the day.

I don't care what the law says.

I mean, come on, it's her business, right? It's yours, right?

Well, I couldn't do what I do without you.

Well, then you agree that for every year you and Tony are married, he will

receive stock in the Bauer agency, right?

Oh, you're good.

Nana really knows her lawyers.

Ben,

why don't you draw up a proposal?

All right. All right, let's move on to personal belongings here.

You know, there seem to be a couple of items that are duplicated on both lists

here. Really?

Yeah, for instance, the cookware.

Oh. I think Tony should have that, even though I bought it.

Thank you.

Good. Then there is the cedar chest.

Oh. Well, I thought you gave that to me. Well, you loved it, so I let you use

it. I mean, even though I did make it for my mother.

But you go ahead. You keep it. It's yours.

It's yours.

Okay, good.

That leaves the mantel clock.

That's mine.

Oh, I guess you did buy that, didn't you? No, well, yeah, but you picked half

it. I thought so.

You found it, so you take it. Okay, thanks.

Boy, you just jumped right on that one, didn't you?

All right, why don't you keep the mantel clock? It'll go great with my mother's

seated chest.

Oh, no, no, no. If that's the way you feel about it, you keep the clock. It'll

help you keep track of time until you own half my house.

You're making it sound like I'm trying to rip you off, Angela. I mean, after

all, I didn't take any alimony. Oh, thank you very much.

Well, if it wasn't for my homemaking services, you might not be where you are

today. Isn't that right, Paul? Right. Thank you.

You may have cooked for my clients, buddy, but I'm the one who got them

Oh, so.

Finally, I find out how you really feel about what I do for you, huh? The truth

is out.

And it's not very pretty.

Oh, yeah?

Ouch.

Tony,

what are you doing?

If Angela thinks that I'm signing a prenuptial agreement, she's got another

thing coming to her.

and then he storms out of there like a child accusing me of not appreciating

him. That's the thanks I get for trying to be fair.

Darling, I'm just as shocked as you are, but better that you should find this

out now.

Oh, excuse me, but here are some personal items I found in my room that I

belong to you, and I wouldn't want to be accused of taking anything that isn't

mine. Oh,

it's my pantyhose. Goodness, I didn't know we were the same size.

We're not.

They're torn.

I was going to use them to strain paint.

Well, maybe you should keep them. You can use them to stick up somebody else.

That's a low blow there, Angela. I wasn't trying to take anything from you.

could have fooled me. I don't believe you. Break it up. Break it up. Now, you

can't let Nana do this to you. What did you say, young lady?

Mind your own business.

This is my business.

Angela is my daughter, and I am not going to let you ruin her life the way

ruined mine. Don't say something you're going to regret.

Daddy faked his death to get away from you. Oh, no.

This is exactly the same thing you did to me. When I was in love with the man

my dreams, you turned us against each other. What are you talking about?

Oh, he was a beautiful young man.

Kind and considerate.

And so talented.

And if it hadn't been for her, today I would be Mrs. James Earl Jones.

The voice of Darth Vader?

Angela,

I am your father.

What do you mean, James Earl Jones?

We met when he came to town doing summer stock.

But Mummy didn't approve of him.

Because he was black?

No, because he was an actor.

I will not allow

this to happen again.

Now, these two belong together, and if you don't like it, then you are just

going to have to answer to me. And me.

Oh, look.

Angela, I'm sorry. I was just trying to do what was best for you. I know what's

best for me. And it's Tony.

I'm sorry I got carried away. I don't want a prenuptial agreement.

Hey, I don't want one either. I just want you.

And I want you to keep my pantyhose.

How can you fight that?

I can't.

Look, kids, I hope you'll be very happy. And I...

I give you my blessing.

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Nana.

Thanks, Nana. You're going to need it.

You're out of the will.

And five million dollars.

Oh, Nana!

Just seen a crowd, didn't you, Washington?

It was nice of Nana to at least let me keep my crystal candlesticks.

Our crystal candlesticks. Oh, sorry. Our crystal candlesticks.

Well.

What do you think?

I think they look okay there, but wouldn't you rather see them up on a

mantelpiece there? No, it's too far away. I don't think so. No, I think

better. Well, at least look.

Oh.

Uh -oh.

Yours broke.