Original subtitles

How about that?

Bam!

Bamster! Sam -a -ram -a -lam -a -ding -dong!

I got the pictures back from our family picnic. Great, great, great. Let's see.

Oh, I took some great ones. Oh, look. There's Angela.

Yeah. Oh, and Angela again. Oh, she looks good in this one.

Angela. Angela.

Angela. Dad, didn't you take any of the rest of the family? Of course I did.

Look. Okay. Here's a picture of Jonathan.

He has Angela's head on him.

I know. I used the double exposure button.

Neat, huh?

It looks better.

I think it is so adorable how you and Angela have been acting since you told

each other how you feel. Like lovesick teenagers.

Now, Samantha, please, Sam. We're not that bad.

I'm home.

Thank God.

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost the dream or two.

Found a trail and at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path.

I've taken the choices up to you, my friend.

Nights are long, but you might awaken to a brand new life, a brand new life, a

brand new life around the bend.

Tony. You remembered.

How long have you been standing there?

Oh, not long. 20 minutes.

It's a good thing, too, because now you kicked your blankie off a couple of

times.

Hey, happy anniversary.

Happy anniversary?

Oh, sure. Don't you remember? It was two weeks ago that we declared our love for

each other. Oh, Tony, I'm sorry. I forgot.

That's okay. You still have six shopping days till our next anniversary.

So go ahead, eat your breakfast, bunny lips.

Tony, I don't have time. I'm running late.

No time for love cake?

Oh, Tony, little brown...

I got the idea from an article in Mona's Cosmo.

20 ways to say I love you with batter.

Tony, you know, you really are spoiling me. All the flowers and the gifts and

the little notes and these big fattening meals.

Are you kidding me? I love doing this for you. You know, for seven years, I've

always thought about doing these sweet things for you. You did?

Sure, but I was afraid to because I didn't want to overstep my bounds. Here,

here you go.

Maybe I can show you how much I care, understand?

Yes, I understand, and I care too, but I've really got to go to work. Oh, look,

look.

A broken heart.

But first, I'm going to finish my love cake. Good, good. I'll get some light in

here for you.

All done.

Wow, already?

Gee, my little bunny lips eat like a lumberjack.

Anything else I can do for you today?

Let out my pants.

Come on, people.

Come on.

Swimwear is fun.

It's sexy.

It's Rio in July. Now, come on. Think.

I got it.

Mother?

You have a slogan?

No. I'm trying to pick up a pencil with my toes.

I got it.

I can do more things with my feet than most people can with their hands.

Can we focus here, please?

That'll be Jack. Let's hope he has something. Talk to me, Jack.

And they called it puppy love.

Hi. Hi, Tony.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but, you know, you didn't call me all day, and I sort

missed hearing your voice.

Oh, that's very sweet. Can I call you right back?

Oh, no, no, no. Don't even bother. Don't bother. I'm going to see you tonight.

Okay. All right. I'll see you later. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

See you later what?

Alligator?

No, no, come on. You remember what you called me at that Greek restaurant last

Friday?

Tony, I was just being a little silly, and I don't think that meant... Oh, so

you didn't mean it.

See you later, Zeus.

Oh, Angela, you little flirt, you.

I feel just like Doris Day in Pillow Talk.

Well, toodaloo.

Okay, okay, now, now.

Rape like adults.

Hey, where do you see the expression on your face? It's frightening.

Oh, Tony?

I called from the outer office. Great gig, eh?

Hey,

so I was in the neighborhood. I thought I'd take you to lunch. You guys break in

now? Well, we sang, we laughed. I'd say we put in a full morning. Take an hour

break. Mother, please give Jack a call. Right.

And dial with your finger.

It was good enough to make the coffee this morning.

Tony?

He's not here.

What is with her?

Just... Double -checking on your father, the hit man of love.

Well, I hope he gets home soon. I want to ask him if I should change my major.

Hi, Angela.

It's me, Zeus.

Bad news, bad news. I got a ton of homework, so I'm going to be stuck in

library all night. I'll have to take a rain check on our date.

But here is a pre -recorded kiss.

Hey, what are you looking at, pal? Never seen nobody kiss a payphone before?

Sorry about our date, sweetheart.

Thank God.

I knew it.

I knew Tony was getting on your nerves. No, he's not.

We've just been going out a lot lately, and I thought it would be nice to have

one night at home. That's all.

You're ready to kill him, aren't you?

No, not at all.

Angela, look, I can understand Dad making you a little nuts. I mean, going

overboard is his style.

Invite him into your life, and he'll push, and he'll prod, and he'll

take over.

Wait a minute.

I want to ask him for advice? What am I, nuts?

I was never here, okay?

Never here. Never here. I'm out.

If you want more space, just tell him.

I just don't want him to take it the wrong way.

Besides, maybe the problem's not him.

Maybe it's me.

You?

Tony's a very warm, passionate, demonstrative person, and I'm, well,

A cold fish?

I wouldn't say that. Me neither. I cleaned it up.

I was going to... To stay restrained.

Deep down, I happen to be a very hot -blooded, passionate person.

Of course you are, dear.

You're a volcano, ready to explode.

Exactly. I'll go warn the villagers.

I just have to get comfortable being around someone as expressive as Tony.

But I can do it. He's a great guy, and you can't get too much of a great guy.

Angela, I'm home. I finished early.

Hide me, hide me, hide me.

Oh, oh, Angela.

You didn't have to rush down the stairs to greet me.

She was propelled by love.

Oh, you're not going anywhere on that ankle. Come here.

Oh, my, oh, my, under me.

I don't care how long it takes that ankle to heal. Even if it's weeks, I'm

leaving you for a second.

Hi. You're up.

How's that ankle?

Feels a little better.

Oh, great, great. Can I get you something like some soup or some tea?

No, just my briefcase. I have to get some work done. You happen to have it

here. There you are.

Tony! Oh, this is bothering you. Oh, of course. Of course. I'm sorry. Look, I'll

find something to do. Keep myself busy.

You won't even know I'm here.

I'll just darn away here.

Darn, darn, darn.

God, you're beautiful.

Tony! I'm sorry, Angela. It just slipped out. It slipped out. I'm gone. I'm

going. No more Tony.

I'm out of here. I'll see you. Bye -bye.

Tony! Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm going. I'm gone. I'm gone. Bye -bye.

I... Hi. Just wanted to come by to see how you're doing.

Okay. Your father's keeping an eye on me.

And I want to thank you for that, Angela.

For what?

For taking Dad's attention away from me. He used to obsess over me, and now he

does it to you, and I'm free.

Wait, I just came back from my laundry basket.

Oh, wait a minute. Let me tuck this in for you.

Watch this. Hey, Dad. I just landed a job at the Wild Goose as a stripper.

That's nice, sweetheart.

That's nice.

Angela, do you need another blanket? I'll get it for you.

Free at last.

Free at last. Great God almighty, I'm free at last.

Here you go.

Tony? Here you go. Oh, you know, I appreciate all this pampering.

Don't you have something to do at homework?

I am doing my homework.

Didn't I tell you?

I changed my major to Angela.

You're joking.

And the best part, there's no math requirement.

Oh, Angela, by the way, your office called while you were asleep.

Oh, thank you.

What?

Tony? Yes?

Where's my phone?

Oh, I took it out of here.

You shouldn't be disturbed.

If anybody's going to be disturbed, it'll be me.

Uh -huh.

We just came to say goodbye.

Where are you going?

To the lake. Tony thought we should get out of the house while you're

recovering.

There's just going to be the two of you all alone all weekend.

We'll see ya. No, no, no. Wait a minute.

Don't go breaking too many hearts out there, Mr. Man.

Oh, yeah, a 15 -year -old boy traveling with his grandmother. I should score

big.

Don't go.

Why not?

Because.

I stink at charades.

I get it.

Tony's crazy.

Tony's crazy.

I could have told you that.

Bye.

So I'm crazy, huh?

No!

You heard Mother.

She stinks at charades.

I was doing the king and I.

Is it crazy to love someone?

No.

I'm your number one fan.

I should have said something before, but I

didn't want to hurt your feelings.

You're pushing a little too hard. I need some time alone.

I see.

Tony? Tony!

Tony! Tony!

Tony! Don't worry.

Thank you.

a housekeeper, remember?

What are you doing out of bed? You should be off that ankle now. Get back

bed. I'll bring you dinner in a minute.

Oh, look.

My favorite.

Obsession.

Another herbal tea.

You had four of those already, honey. She wants another.

I mean, it's herbal tea. What's the worst that can happen? She gets mellow,

starts singing Joni Mitchell songs.

Get off my back, fathead, or I'll rip your heart out and wear it like a hat.

Man trouble, honey?

Doesn't come home at night?

Plays the ponies?

Oh, dumped you for a younger woman.

No.

He loves me too much. I had to get away.

One of those fatal attraction things, huh? That could be rough.

Angela, I've been worried sick.

Is that the guy?

Yes. But I was feeling sorry for you.

I've been looking all over for you. Thank God I spotted your car. What are

doing here?

Well, to tell you the truth, I was feeling... Feeling?

Like I had to get some fresh air.

Well, you should be home. Come on, I'll open a window.

Hey, hey, hey, hold it.

If you two are going to make it, you got to be honest and communicate.

That's what's kept me and Hoyt happily married for 22 years.

23. In a pig's eye.

God damn.

Right, we'll communicate.

Let's get out of here before they start exchanging gunfire.

Clayton, listen.

A relationship that can't survive honesty.

There's one that shouldn't be.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.

Well, this has been fun, shall we? Tony, wait.

They're right.

We have to be honest if we want this to work.

Honest about what, Angela?

About everything.

I came here to get away from you.

I hurt my ankle trying to get away from you. I was... I was feeling smothered. I

don't understand.

A woman is like a fire.

Too much love, like too much water.

She'll wither. Oh, he talks big, but his watering can's been dry for years.

Late, my petals ain't drooping.

That's it. You're sleeping with a dog tonight, mister.

It'll be a step up.

You couldn't go to Burger King?

I've been making you feel uncomfortable, Angela?

Well, yeah.

And I didn't want to damage our relationship, and I didn't want to hurt

feelings. It's good that you told me.

Honesty's good.

Honest? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, just because we're in love doesn't

mean things should change. Back when we were just friends, we could say anything

to each other. Exactly.

Which is...

Why, I should tell you that the reason that I've been pushing so hard is

I've been feeling kind of insecure about us.

Why would you be feeling insecure?

Well, it's just that I've been giving and giving, and you haven't been

reciprocating, and so then I try harder and harder. Oh, Tony, you don't have to

try.

You know I love you.

What do you mean I wasn't reciprocating?

You've got to admit.

I'm the one who's been doing all the giving around to you. Oh, I give in my

way. Just not as easy for me to express my emotion as it is for you.

I know, I know, I know.

Cold fish.

What? Did Mother tell you that?

Well, yeah, but you know, I had to clean it up.

Cold fish, huh?

Does this feel like a cold fish?

That's kind of lukewarm.

Lukewarm? I'm not lukewarm, and I'm not a cold fish. In the pig's eye.

Drop dead. Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

I ain't gonna blame you. Yeah.

Angela!

Angela!

Breakfast is ready!

Oh, I made her a feast.

Dad, don't you think you're going a little overboard? All these big meals

Angela? Are you kidding? She can't get enough.

Nothing. Nothing.

Let's jog.