Original subtitles

He's still on his feet, ladies and gentlemen. He's the wonderkind of

the Stravinsky of strolling, the Gretzky of gait.

I'm not all right.

Yes, yes, you're right, you're right. Anyway, I'm warmed up enough.

Now, Billy, the first thing you learn in sports is to size up the competition,

okay? Excuse me. Is this where you sign up for the sportscaster tryout?

Yeah, yeah, right over there, right over there.

Did the word slam dunk mean anything to you, Billy? No.

Hey, guys.

Hi, Sam.

What are you doing?

Are you going out for this?

Yeah. What are you doing here?

Well, I was... Well, I came by to wish you luck, so good luck. Come on, Billy,

let's get out of here. What's this?

An application and your Tony Maselli baseball card.

Okay, so I was thinking about it. It was just a lock. I don't want to be a

sportscaster.

Then how come you keep saying, he shoots, he scores?

He sits. He's quiet.

All right, so I did want to do it, but now that I know you want to do it, I

don't want to do it. And besides, you don't want to send the communication.

No, Dad, sports is your life. You should do this. And besides, you were here

first, so I'll just leave. No, no, Sam, Sam. If anybody's going to make the

sacrifice and just leave, it's got to be me.

Indeed, this man is most giving, although it would be best, Miss, if you

most rightfully to the cheerleading squadron.

So, uh, Dad, why should you be the one to drop out?

Because I'm the father.

Didn't I ever tell you the story of the mama eagle?

Yeah, she risked her life flying through a storm with her baby on her back. And

then when they were safe, she asked the little eaglet, would you do the same

thing for me? And the eaglet said, no, but I'd do it for my kid. See, it's the

law of nature.

And some animals eat their young.

So much for the law of nature. Yeah, but Sam, I mean, she besmirches your

beautiful parable, and yet she has the face of a faun.

I am not here.

And anyway, Dad, weren't you the one that said that if I went to Ridgemont,

wouldn't be father and daughter? We'd just be two students at the same campus?

Yeah, yeah, but Sam, what... No, no, but we both want this. We should both go

for it.

Unless, of course, you're afraid I might beat you.

Huh? Huh?

Huh?

That's cute, little Samantha.

So you'll do it? Yeah, sure, I'm in. I'm in and may the best Miss Sully win.

I will. Okay, we'll see.

I was here first. Hey, you snooze, you'll lose.

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

Open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail and at the end was you.

There's a fancy taking a bath, not taking. The choice is up to you, my

Nights are long, but you might awaken to a brand new life, a brand new life, a

brand new life around your bed.

Mike, you're killing me here.

How did you see that move?

It was the only one that didn't make you cough.

Hi, guys. Hi, Sam.

Hi, Sam. You want to play checkers? Oh, can't, kiddo. I just played my audition

tape for Mona and I have to go make some revisions. Oh, Sam, Sam.

Want some help? You know, as an ex -pro ball player, I have some experience with

interviewing athletes.

Oh, no thanks, Dad. I think I'm doing just fine.

Sure you are, honey, sure you are. Hey, listen, let me give you a tip anyway. If

you interview any hockey players, don't make them use too many S -words.

No front teeth, fam.

Words to live by, Dad, but I'm almost done.

How's yours going? Oh, great, great. Got it all mapped out right here in the old

noggin. Mapped out? Dad, it's due in two days.

You're throwing this, aren't you?

Are you kidding me? You know how competitive I am. I don't take a dive

one. Don't flake out on me, okay? I expect you to do your best.

Keep him on it, then.

Hey, listen, let me tell you something, Samantha. Your father does not flake.

I'm going to go to work on it right now, Sam, right now. As soon as I win back

my Jeep.

You're flaking, aren't you? No, I'm not flaking. I'm helping.

Listen, with my experience, I have the edge. I don't want to destroy Sam's

confidence. What you're doing is undermining Sam's and Billy's confidence

being... C -O -M -P -E -P -I -T -I -V -E.

Oh, I'm sorry. I missed the first 19 or 20 letters.

Competitive. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Well, listen, I just don't think I have to

these kids' lives any harder than they already are.

I mean, as a parent, you should know that. Well, I do, but I also know how

important it is that you treat Sam like an equal. That's exactly the way my

father treated me.

And if he hadn't, I don't think I ever would have made it in a man's world.

He always said, Angela, be strong.

He never treated me like some emotional, fragile little girl.

Gee, I hate to think I ever did anything to hold Sam back. I mean, I want to at

least be as strong as you.

Here, blow.

And I really do have a killer idea for my interview.

That's great, Tony. You put everything you've got into that tape.

Now, you're right, Angela. You're 100 % right. I'm going to pull out all the

stops. I'm going to kick my daughter's butt.

You're a good father, Tony.

Hey, Miss Kelly.

Steve Barton, Ridgemont Station Manager.

You know what I think what you, an ex -pro ballplayer, can do for our

sportscast? Thank God I'm young and my heart is strong.

That's nice of you to say there. But flattery aside, Steve, I want you to

an open mind. You know, give everybody a fair chance and then pick me.

Funny, funny, funny man.

What is that?

Oh, hey, Sam.

Finished the old videotape.

You'll be sorry.

Uh -huh.

What's the matter, Sam?

Nervous? Todd, I brought the wrong tape, and Mona was supposed to be here five

minutes ago with the right one.

Well, uh, very nice machine. It's a real top drawer.

Hey, Sam.

Here you go.

Thanks, Mona. You're a lightsaber.

Okay, next up, Tony Mazzella. Oh, all right. Hey, Mona, Mona, come here, come

here. Hang out a while. Hang out. You've got to see this.

It's got what I call a field of dreams quality. You know, if you build it, he

will come.

If you bore me, I will go.

Here you go, son.

As you're about to see, folks, baseball isn't all contracts and egos.

There's a personal side.

I know. I was there.

I played the game.

Hit it.

Welcome to Tony's Corner.

I'm Tony, and I'm here with Chappie.

groundskeeper of the Ridgemont Baseball Diamond for the past 35 years. Chappy,

you've been around a long time, so I'm sure you've seen some fine young

ballplayers come and go. Yeah, but don't ask me to name names.

If I gotta remember some damn kid's name, I get an awful pain behind my

Chappie, legend has it that in order to slow down the opponent's base runners,

you would actually muddy up the base path. Is that true?

Yeah.

Ain't I a dirty, no good son of a gun.

Chappie, let's move on here, Chappie. You know, do you have any words of

to any of our young viewers out there who are about to embark on their own

baseball careers?

No.

You didn't tell me this was going to be a think piece.

Chappy, you are a national treasure.

Hey, Chappy, what do you say? How about a cold one on me?

Okay, but I got to empty before I can fill up.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

So, Steve, what'd you think? I've never seen anything like it.

Sam, you ready?

What's that?

Hear that, Sam?

Never seen anything like it.

Me neither, Dad.

Hey, Mona, no matter how Sam does, let's just tell her she did terrific, even if

you don't mean it.

Okay. Hey, by the way, how'd you think I did?

You were terrific.

I'm loving it. It's got punch. It's got edge. It's got pop.

Today, my special guest is Bo Jackson.

Bono Sam?

I don't care. I'm not letting her in until she stops laughing.

Okay, I'll stop.

What is so funny?

Tony's tape. It had him rolling in the aisle.

That is wonderful.

It isn't a comedy, Angela.

Hey, look, a lot of people like my tape. Not everybody hated it. Hey, Jonathan.

You saw my tape. What'd you think?

Cracked me up.

It wasn't a comedy.

Comedy? Tragedy? It's such a fine line. Get out, please.

Tony, the only thing that matters is you did the best you could.

That's the saddest part.

How could you?

How could I what?

Don't play dumb with me.

He's not playing.

I promised you were going to take this competition seriously. What do you do?

You show up with that ridiculous tape of Chappie.

Ridiculous? It was good. I liked it. It was endearing. It was Americana.

And it wasn't a comedy.

Right.

Sam, your father thought he did the best he could.

See, he thought Chappie was his eighth in the whole.

Really?

You know, Dad, it did have some good points.

like an American Gothic, and that rake was a nice touch.

That was Chappie's idea.

Look, Dad, um, I'm sorry. If there's anything I could do to help with maybe

rest of the triad... Oh!

Oh,

if I were you, I wouldn't worry about me. I'd worry about you, because let me

tell you something.

Announcing play -by -play is my strong suit.

Okay, I'm sure you'll do fine.

Yeah, you betcha.

Help me. How do you like them apples?

Well, Tony, I know exactly how you feel. You see, you're going through a rite of

passage. It's the first time the child is surpassing the parent.

Nobody's surpassing nobody around here.

Oh, it starts in little ways like this, and the next thing you know, she's

wheeling you into a home, closing your robe, and wiping oatmeal off your chin.

Well... I gotta get going, Dad. I borrowed your sports helmet.

Good luck.

I don't need luck, Sam.

Dad, you have a crime or something on your... Leave it alone!

I put it there.

All right, listen up, people. Here's how the play -by -play is gonna work. All

right, you'll be watching a Ridgemont Walden tech game from three years ago.

You'll alternate innings, calling the game off the monitor.

Everybody got that? Yeah.

Sony? Okay.

You're on the air.

Hello, sports fans.

Tony M. here from Ridgemont Field. And boy, do I have a game for you today.

Well, at least I better have or I'm in big trouble.

Up first will be Mikey Battaglia. He's a punching Judy type lefty. And he'll be

trying to drive the ball to the opposite field.

Lewis delivers.

Battaglia swings and fouls the ball back into the stands.

Sorry about that, ma 'am.

Funny man.

And he sure knows the game.

There's a hot shot up the middle.

Wide murder snags it. Flips to Middleton.

Over to Jaffe at first. Double play and the side is retired.

And the crowd goes wild.

I still think I need help.

It ain't over till the fat lady sings.

I must say, your zany

shenanigans gave me much pleasure.

Well, then it was all worth it. Oh, thank you.

Hello,

hello.

Testing one, two, three.

Welcome back to the top of the second inning.

Sean Teeber up for Walden.

Harris' first pitch.

Blazing fastball. That boy's throwing BBs.

Teeber swings and hits the rope to deep left field. It's going back, back, back.

It's gone. A four -bagger puts the kettle on the stove top. Mama, this

coming home.

He's channeling Vin Scully.

It is overcast.

As the bright green grass rises to meet the pearl gray sky, sweet notes of the

pipe organ call out a familiar charge.

In the bleachers, a young boy sits, his hopes and dreams riding on every pitch.

Pardon me, but I am in need of a tissue.

Hey, hey, hey, you mind? You're dripping all over my auger horn.

He swings and sends a high drive to deep left. This one's gone. A home run.

Let's just sit back and let the picture tell the story.

Not good. Dead air. Not good at all.

Night's work.

Resisting the temptation to over -announce. Very poetic.

Sounded like dead air to me.

Harris waits for the sign and oh my, the sky... have opened up its story.

Well, I guess it's time we sign off. So, goodbye. No, no, no. It's just a rain

delay. It's part of the test. Fill in the time.

Okay.

Look at what the... Let's check the old mail bag.

Why, looky here.

Nora Harding of Wallaby, Kansas is 100 years young today. No, no, no.

Sam, jump in.

Okay.

the field.

Let's just sit back and let the picture tell the story.

Or not.

Tony, take it. Yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it.

As the ground crew rolls out the top... Wait a minute.

That's no crew.

That's one brave soul. It's Chappy.

The only one -man talk crew in the business.

Bo don't know that.

You know, folks, when I was playing for the St. Louis Cards, there will always

be one rain delay that's sort of special to me.

My wife and I were huddled in the dugout.

She was nine months pregnant.

Of course, she refused to miss a game.

Just then, she started having contractions. And I panicked.

And she said, we'll never make it to the hospital on time.

Thank God, Doc, the team trainer was there.

He had me carry her into the clubhouse, and an hour later, we had the most

beautiful little daughter anyone's ever seen.

Doc wrapped her up and handed her to me, and I stepped out onto that field with

my little girl.

The clouds parted, and I looked up, and I swear, I saw a rainbow.

Oh, my goodness!

I've never seen a whole bunch of tissues!

Me too.

Oh, I feel terrible. I feel awful.

Come on, Dad. It's not the end of the world.

Oh, you didn't get the job. Oh.

No, I'm the one who didn't get the job. Oh.

What kind of father am I?

Stealing my daughter's spotlight.

Wrenching her from her place and her son.

Oh, you'll get used to it. I do it every day.

Dad, you did great. You won fair and square.

Oh, no.

What?

He told the most beautiful story about how I was born during a rain delay.

I don't understand why he didn't tell me that story before.

It was a lie.

Yes, it was. I made the whole thing up. I got so wrapped up in a competition, I

couldn't stop myself.

that just to beat your own daughter yes yes i'm so

ashamed you're the greatest dad in the whole world

don't you get it you didn't hold back you pulled out all the stops

you you finally treated me like an equal so i did good

Losing today felt better than all those times you let me win.

Really?

Yeah.

Tony, you see, you did the right thing.

Just like my father.

Not again.

Foster takes the ball, fakes left, turns right, shoots, and scores.

About time he scored a basket.

Tony's doing a great job.

He better be good. He beat the best.

Moriarty takes the ball, dribbles down the lane, and slam dunk.

Oh, gosh.

He's broken the backboard.

Uh -oh. Now you'll have to fill some time.

He'll probably make up some story about me being born on the basketball court.

Five, six, seven, eight.