All language subtitles for whos_the_boss_s07e13_broadcast_blues

He's still on his feet, ladies and
gentlemen. He's the wonderkind of

the Stravinsky of strolling, the Gretzky
of gait.

I'm not all right.

Yes, yes, you're right, you're right.
Anyway, I'm warmed up enough.

Now, Billy, the first thing you learn in
sports is to size up the competition,

okay? Excuse me. Is this where you sign
up for the sportscaster tryout?

Yeah, yeah, right over there, right over
there.

Did the word slam dunk mean anything to
you, Billy? No.

Hey, guys.

Hi, Sam.

What are you doing?

Are you going out for this?

Yeah. What are you doing here?

Well, I was... Well, I came by to wish
you luck, so good luck. Come on, Billy,

let's get out of here. What's this?

An application and your Tony Maselli
baseball card.

Okay, so I was thinking about it. It was
just a lock. I don't want to be a

sportscaster.

Then how come you keep saying, he
shoots, he scores?

He sits. He's quiet.

All right, so I did want to do it, but
now that I know you want to do it, I

don't want to do it. And besides, you
don't want to send the communication.

No, Dad, sports is your life. You should
do this. And besides, you were here

first, so I'll just leave. No, no, Sam,
Sam. If anybody's going to make the

sacrifice and just leave, it's got to be
me.

Indeed, this man is most giving,
although it would be best, Miss, if you

most rightfully to the cheerleading
squadron.

So, uh, Dad, why should you be the one
to drop out?

Because I'm the father.

Didn't I ever tell you the story of the
mama eagle?

Yeah, she risked her life flying through
a storm with her baby on her back. And

then when they were safe, she asked the
little eaglet, would you do the same

thing for me? And the eaglet said, no,
but I'd do it for my kid. See, it's the

law of nature.

And some animals eat their young.

So much for the law of nature. Yeah, but
Sam, I mean, she besmirches your

beautiful parable, and yet she has the
face of a faun.

I am not here.

And anyway, Dad, weren't you the one
that said that if I went to Ridgemont,

wouldn't be father and daughter? We'd
just be two students at the same campus?

Yeah, yeah, but Sam, what... No, no, but
we both want this. We should both go

for it.

Unless, of course, you're afraid I might
beat you.

Huh? Huh?

Huh?

That's cute, little Samantha.

So you'll do it? Yeah, sure, I'm in. I'm
in and may the best Miss Sully win.

I will. Okay, we'll see.

I was here first. Hey, you snooze,
you'll lose.

There's a time for love and a time for
living. Take a chance and face the wind.

Open road and a road that's hidden. A
brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail and at the end was you.

There's a fancy taking a bath, not
taking. The choice is up to you, my

Nights are long, but you might awaken to
a brand new life, a brand new life, a

brand new life around your bed.

Mike, you're killing me here.

How did you see that move?

It was the only one that didn't make you
cough.

Hi, guys. Hi, Sam.

Hi, Sam. You want to play checkers? Oh,
can't, kiddo. I just played my audition

tape for Mona and I have to go make some
revisions. Oh, Sam, Sam.

Want some help? You know, as an ex -pro
ball player, I have some experience with

interviewing athletes.

Oh, no thanks, Dad. I think I'm doing
just fine.

Sure you are, honey, sure you are. Hey,
listen, let me give you a tip anyway. If

you interview any hockey players, don't
make them use too many S -words.

No front teeth, fam.

Words to live by, Dad, but I'm almost
done.

How's yours going? Oh, great, great. Got
it all mapped out right here in the old

noggin. Mapped out? Dad, it's due in two
days.

You're throwing this, aren't you?

Are you kidding me? You know how
competitive I am. I don't take a dive

one. Don't flake out on me, okay? I
expect you to do your best.

Keep him on it, then.

Hey, listen, let me tell you something,
Samantha. Your father does not flake.

I'm going to go to work on it right now,
Sam, right now. As soon as I win back

my Jeep.

You're flaking, aren't you? No, I'm not
flaking. I'm helping.

Listen, with my experience, I have the
edge. I don't want to destroy Sam's

confidence. What you're doing is
undermining Sam's and Billy's confidence

being... C -O -M -P -E -P -I -T -I -V
-E.

Oh, I'm sorry. I missed the first 19 or
20 letters.

Competitive. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Well,
listen, I just don't think I have to

these kids' lives any harder than they
already are.

I mean, as a parent, you should know
that. Well, I do, but I also know how

important it is that you treat Sam like
an equal. That's exactly the way my

father treated me.

And if he hadn't, I don't think I ever
would have made it in a man's world.

He always said, Angela, be strong.

He never treated me like some emotional,
fragile little girl.

Gee, I hate to think I ever did anything
to hold Sam back. I mean, I want to at

least be as strong as you.

Here, blow.

And I really do have a killer idea for
my interview.

That's great, Tony. You put everything
you've got into that tape.

Now, you're right, Angela. You're 100 %
right. I'm going to pull out all the

stops. I'm going to kick my daughter's
butt.

You're a good father, Tony.

Hey, Miss Kelly.

Steve Barton, Ridgemont Station Manager.

You know what I think what you, an ex
-pro ballplayer, can do for our

sportscast? Thank God I'm young and my
heart is strong.

That's nice of you to say there. But
flattery aside, Steve, I want you to

an open mind. You know, give everybody a
fair chance and then pick me.

Funny, funny, funny man.

What is that?

Oh, hey, Sam.

Finished the old videotape.

You'll be sorry.

Uh -huh.

What's the matter, Sam?

Nervous? Todd, I brought the wrong tape,
and Mona was supposed to be here five

minutes ago with the right one.

Well, uh, very nice machine. It's a real
top drawer.

Hey, Sam.

Here you go.

Thanks, Mona. You're a lightsaber.

Okay, next up, Tony Mazzella. Oh, all
right. Hey, Mona, Mona, come here, come

here. Hang out a while. Hang out. You've
got to see this.

It's got what I call a field of dreams
quality. You know, if you build it, he

will come.

If you bore me, I will go.

Here you go, son.

As you're about to see, folks, baseball
isn't all contracts and egos.

There's a personal side.

I know. I was there.

I played the game.

Hit it.

Welcome to Tony's Corner.

I'm Tony, and I'm here with Chappie.

groundskeeper of the Ridgemont Baseball
Diamond for the past 35 years. Chappy,

you've been around a long time, so I'm
sure you've seen some fine young

ballplayers come and go. Yeah, but don't
ask me to name names.

If I gotta remember some damn kid's
name, I get an awful pain behind my

Chappie, legend has it that in order to
slow down the opponent's base runners,

you would actually muddy up the base
path. Is that true?

Yeah.

Ain't I a dirty, no good son of a gun.

Chappie, let's move on here, Chappie.
You know, do you have any words of

to any of our young viewers out there
who are about to embark on their own

baseball careers?

No.

You didn't tell me this was going to be
a think piece.

Chappy, you are a national treasure.

Hey, Chappy, what do you say? How about
a cold one on me?

Okay, but I got to empty before I can
fill up.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

So, Steve, what'd you think? I've never
seen anything like it.

Sam, you ready?

What's that?

Hear that, Sam?

Never seen anything like it.

Me neither, Dad.

Hey, Mona, no matter how Sam does, let's
just tell her she did terrific, even if

you don't mean it.

Okay. Hey, by the way, how'd you think I
did?

You were terrific.

I'm loving it. It's got punch. It's got
edge. It's got pop.

Today, my special guest is Bo Jackson.

Bono Sam?

I don't care. I'm not letting her in
until she stops laughing.

Okay, I'll stop.

What is so funny?

Tony's tape. It had him rolling in the
aisle.

That is wonderful.

It isn't a comedy, Angela.

Hey, look, a lot of people like my tape.
Not everybody hated it. Hey, Jonathan.

You saw my tape. What'd you think?

Cracked me up.

It wasn't a comedy.

Comedy? Tragedy? It's such a fine line.
Get out, please.

Tony, the only thing that matters is you
did the best you could.

That's the saddest part.

How could you?

How could I what?

Don't play dumb with me.

He's not playing.

I promised you were going to take this
competition seriously. What do you do?

You show up with that ridiculous tape of
Chappie.

Ridiculous? It was good. I liked it. It
was endearing. It was Americana.

And it wasn't a comedy.

Right.

Sam, your father thought he did the best
he could.

See, he thought Chappie was his eighth
in the whole.

Really?

You know, Dad, it did have some good
points.

like an American Gothic, and that rake
was a nice touch.

That was Chappie's idea.

Look, Dad, um, I'm sorry. If there's
anything I could do to help with maybe

rest of the triad... Oh!

Oh,

if I were you, I wouldn't worry about
me. I'd worry about you, because let me

tell you something.

Announcing play -by -play is my strong
suit.

Okay, I'm sure you'll do fine.

Yeah, you betcha.

Help me. How do you like them apples?

Well, Tony, I know exactly how you feel.
You see, you're going through a rite of

passage. It's the first time the child
is surpassing the parent.

Nobody's surpassing nobody around here.

Oh, it starts in little ways like this,
and the next thing you know, she's

wheeling you into a home, closing your
robe, and wiping oatmeal off your chin.

Well... I gotta get going, Dad. I
borrowed your sports helmet.

Good luck.

I don't need luck, Sam.

Dad, you have a crime or something on
your... Leave it alone!

I put it there.

All right, listen up, people. Here's how
the play -by -play is gonna work. All

right, you'll be watching a Ridgemont
Walden tech game from three years ago.

You'll alternate innings, calling the
game off the monitor.

Everybody got that? Yeah.

Sony? Okay.

You're on the air.

Hello, sports fans.

Tony M. here from Ridgemont Field. And
boy, do I have a game for you today.

Well, at least I better have or I'm in
big trouble.

Up first will be Mikey Battaglia. He's a
punching Judy type lefty. And he'll be

trying to drive the ball to the opposite
field.

Lewis delivers.

Battaglia swings and fouls the ball back
into the stands.

Sorry about that, ma 'am.

Funny man.

And he sure knows the game.

There's a hot shot up the middle.

Wide murder snags it. Flips to
Middleton.

Over to Jaffe at first. Double play and
the side is retired.

And the crowd goes wild.

I still think I need help.

It ain't over till the fat lady sings.

I must say, your zany

shenanigans gave me much pleasure.

Well, then it was all worth it. Oh,
thank you.

Hello,

hello.

Testing one, two, three.

Welcome back to the top of the second
inning.

Sean Teeber up for Walden.

Harris' first pitch.

Blazing fastball. That boy's throwing
BBs.

Teeber swings and hits the rope to deep
left field. It's going back, back, back.

It's gone. A four -bagger puts the
kettle on the stove top. Mama, this

coming home.

He's channeling Vin Scully.

It is overcast.

As the bright green grass rises to meet
the pearl gray sky, sweet notes of the

pipe organ call out a familiar charge.

In the bleachers, a young boy sits, his
hopes and dreams riding on every pitch.

Pardon me, but I am in need of a tissue.

Hey, hey, hey, you mind? You're dripping
all over my auger horn.

He swings and sends a high drive to deep
left. This one's gone. A home run.

Let's just sit back and let the picture
tell the story.

Not good. Dead air. Not good at all.

Night's work.

Resisting the temptation to over
-announce. Very poetic.

Sounded like dead air to me.

Harris waits for the sign and oh my, the
sky... have opened up its story.

Well, I guess it's time we sign off. So,
goodbye. No, no, no. It's just a rain

delay. It's part of the test. Fill in
the time.

Okay.

Look at what the... Let's check the old
mail bag.

Why, looky here.

Nora Harding of Wallaby, Kansas is 100
years young today. No, no, no.

Sam, jump in.

Okay.

the field.

Let's just sit back and let the picture
tell the story.

Or not.

Tony, take it. Yeah, I got it, I got it,
I got it.

As the ground crew rolls out the top...
Wait a minute.

That's no crew.

That's one brave soul. It's Chappy.

The only one -man talk crew in the
business.

Bo don't know that.

You know, folks, when I was playing for
the St. Louis Cards, there will always

be one rain delay that's sort of special
to me.

My wife and I were huddled in the
dugout.

She was nine months pregnant.

Of course, she refused to miss a game.

Just then, she started having
contractions. And I panicked.

And she said, we'll never make it to the
hospital on time.

Thank God, Doc, the team trainer was
there.

He had me carry her into the clubhouse,
and an hour later, we had the most

beautiful little daughter anyone's ever
seen.

Doc wrapped her up and handed her to me,
and I stepped out onto that field with

my little girl.

The clouds parted, and I looked up, and
I swear, I saw a rainbow.

Oh, my goodness!

I've never seen a whole bunch of
tissues!

Me too.

Oh, I feel terrible. I feel awful.

Come on, Dad. It's not the end of the
world.

Oh, you didn't get the job. Oh.

No, I'm the one who didn't get the job.
Oh.

What kind of father am I?

Stealing my daughter's spotlight.

Wrenching her from her place and her
son.

Oh, you'll get used to it. I do it every
day.

Dad, you did great. You won fair and
square.

Oh, no.

What?

He told the most beautiful story about
how I was born during a rain delay.

I don't understand why he didn't tell me
that story before.

It was a lie.

Yes, it was. I made the whole thing up.
I got so wrapped up in a competition, I

couldn't stop myself.

that just to beat your own daughter yes
yes i'm so

ashamed you're the greatest dad in the
whole world

don't you get it you didn't hold back
you pulled out all the stops

you you finally treated me like an equal
so i did good

Losing today felt better than all those
times you let me win.

Really?

Yeah.

Tony, you see, you did the right thing.

Just like my father.

Not again.

Foster takes the ball, fakes left, turns
right, shoots, and scores.

About time he scored a basket.

Tony's doing a great job.

He better be good. He beat the best.

Moriarty takes the ball, dribbles down
the lane, and slam dunk.

Oh, gosh.

He's broken the backboard.

Uh -oh. Now you'll have to fill some
time.

He'll probably make up some story about
me being born on the basketball court.

Five, six, seven, eight.