Original subtitles

Billy, Billy, are you asleep?

Billy, Billy, Billy, wake up and go to sleep.

I can't. There's a monster behind the wall. Look, his eye is hanging out.

No, no, that's not a monster. Look, it's just the wires. I didn't finish hanging

your lamp, see?

Look. Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll get you a nightlight. I saw a really great one.

You like Gumby?

Who?

Forget Gumby. I'll get you Star Wars.

What's that?

Boy, I'm old.

Look, forget that. You got to go to bed.

What? What? What are you, Toys R Us?

Come on, get in bed. You got a big date tomorrow.

It's your first day of school, huh?

Okay. I'll tell you what. I'm going to make you a special lunch, and I got you

surprise. An E .T. lunchbox.

You?

Elizabeth Taylor, go to sleep.

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

A brand new life, a brand new life, a brand new life around the

bend.

What do you say, after we see Phantom, we go back to my place and sip a little

champagne in front of the fire?

Okay.

I would love to, but we've got to take Billy to school early tomorrow. Can we

it some other time?

Yeah. How about all next week?

I bought a Duralog.

Burns for eight hours.

Yeah, that's what they all say.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, the master.

The master has not lost his touch.

Billy's asleep?

Hey, when the captain speaks, the crew listens.

Should have tied him to the mast, Skipper.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa. Come back here, please.

Why aren't you asleep?

I wanted to sleep at night, Angela.

Oh.

Oh,

I could just eat him up. That's good, because if you don't go to sleep, I'm

going to deep fry him.

Me? Angela, this kid is tough.

I tried every trick I used to use on Sam. None of them worked. I've got a few

tricks of my own.

Yeah, if anyone could put a man to sleep in bed, it's Angela.

Angela, we've got to go. I'm just going to tuck him in.

Boy, raising somebody else's child is a major responsibility, huh? Oh, you said

a mouthful, man. Let me tell you.

Hey. You know, he just needs a lot of attention. And thankfully, Angela's

as Jonathan and Mona loves Billy.

Is that his name?

No wonder he never answers to Ed.

Well,

that's one five -year -old who's off to dreamland, shall we? The Phantom awaits.

Wow, that's terrific. Hey, good job. Hey, listen, enjoy the show.

Hey, Andy, make sure you sit under the chandelier.

Bye -bye.

Oh, I told you it was wonderful.

I'm Miss Adams.

Oh, Angela, English, very classy.

Well, thank you so much. Oh, you make everything sound so nice. Say, shade you

on.

You're from Brooklyn, aren't you?

You got it.

Say, canish.

I'm Angela Bauer, and this is Tony Maselli. Hello, and this must be Billy.

Billy.

He hasn't had his morning coffee yet.

It's his first day of school. I think he's a little nervous. I know I am. Oh,

yeah. I remember my first day of school.

I cried all morning, then I threw up all over the teacher.

I'm sure Billy will be fine. He will hopefully have better aim.

Excuse me, excuse me. You know, I know you hear this from a lot of the parents,

but... He really is a special kid.

Really? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Hello. Oh, hi.

Is he new? Oh, yes. We just got him. Yes,

he's new to the school. Yes, he is. Oh, well, he's going to love it here. I know

my Joey does.

Joey, this is Billy. Why don't you two go off and play?

Oh, Tony, there he goes. On the road to growing up. Yeah.

Hey, Billy, don't put paste up your nose.

It's the long road.

I know you've probably heard this before, but Billy's... Special?

You see it, too.

Billy, sweetheart, Tony and I have to leave now.

Yeah, yes, but don't worry. After school, Sam will pick you up, take you

tumbling class, and then we can practice t -ball.

So, honey, don't worry, because we're not really saying goodbye. Yeah, it's

like, see you later, buddy.

So, what do you say, Billy?

Bye.

Hi, Dad.

Hey,

Billy, my boy, my baby.

What do you say, pal?

Oh, oh.

So, how was your first day of school, huh?

Did you paint some pictures, play with some toys, hit on the redhead?

Oh, I get it.

Discreet. Very 90s.

Dad, is it okay if I call Matt?

Samantha, have you seen our phone bills lately?

I mean, couldn't you get a boyfriend a little closer to New Mexico?

Oh, sure, Dad. Actually, the guy up the street just asked me out. You know, he's

the biker with the snake tattooed on his face.

Give Matt my love.

Hey, hey, look what I got for you. Come here, come here.

It's a throw -in field.

See this, huh? And it comes with a special glove. Check this out. Whoa!

Look at that. Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Come here. Look what I've got for you.

Oh,

a computer?

Yes. He can pad. He can spell. He can do his taxes.

He's going to have to file an extension because he's got t -ball practice.

All right. Well, tomorrow after school, I get him. I'm not going to school. I

quit.

You quit?

Why? Because.

Because why?

Because. Would you stop saying because?

Stop saying why.

Okay. Okay. Could you please just tell us what happened at school?

They said mean things to me. Who did?

The kids.

But why would the kids... Oh, I get it.

Oh, boy, do I get it.

Get what?

Don't you see, Angela? It's clear as day.

Rich suburban kids. The new kid from Brooklyn.

It's called snobbery, Angela.

That's right.

It's the same thing that happened to Sam when she first came here.

All because she was a little too low rent.

Say, Kanish indeed.

Finish, huh?

Mr. Metelli, how are we today?

We are not good, Ms. Adams. Not good at all.

Oh, dear.

Not another upchuck episode?

No, no. Much worse.

Snobbery.

Snobbery? Don't try to make it sound good.

All I know is Billy says the other kids were mean to him.

Joey, can you tell me who was mean to you?

What? What? Joey?

Of course.

He fits the bully profile to a T.

He's bigger, stronger, and he probably bites the heads off his Flintstones

vitamins.

Billy, is it true you told Billy you don't like him? Yes.

Why did you say that?

He hit me in the head.

What?

With a brick? Well, it's...

It's a toy brick.

We've gone from snobbery to battery.

I'll let you two talk.

Billy. Billy, come over here, Joey. Please come here.

Billy, it's not right to hit people.

Now, look. I want you to shake hands and say you're sorry.

I'm sorry.

Feel better? Uh -huh. Okay, let's go.

Why? Why? You hit him with a brick too?

No. Good.

A truck.

You hit him with a truck? What are you, crazy? You want to get in trouble with

the Teamsters?

You didn't happen to hit the little redhead, did you?

Is there anybody here you didn't hit?

How did you get so lucky?

She wasn't here yesterday.

You better lay low in Jersey till this blows over, pal.

It seems that, uh...

Billy was hitting all the other kids at school.

Oh, not Billy?

Our Billy?

Or as he's known at the school, the Fists of Fury.

Oh, dear.

Oh, my dear. Well, you know, I'm not surprised at all. He's struggling in a

environment. He's probably just acting out, don't you think?

Oh, absolutely.

Then again, he might end up in a tower squinting through crosshairs.

Go to your room. Okay.

I'll practice for the news.

He was a quiet boy. A loner. He always kept to himself. Would you please go?

What are we going to do?

Ms. Adams seems to think that we, we should take a parenting course. You

that?

Oh, no.

Well?

Listen, we've raised two of our own kids, and neither of them has pulled a

on us yet.

Yes, you're right. I mean, maybe he just needs a little extra love and support.

He's very vulnerable right now.

Exactly, Angela. What we have to do is show him that we are behind him no

what. Ow!

Why you... He hit me!

Oh, buddy!

You need to know you're vulnerable right now. Gee, whatever happened to victims,

right? Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Are you okay? Show me where it hurts. Mom,

I'd rather get hit again with the bat.

Now, Billy, I told you that hitting was wrong.

And you're going to have to do some hard time up in your room, young man. Let's

go. Come on. Move along.

Is that okay?

I think so.

The parenting class starts at five.

I'll be ready at four.

Welcome to Positive Parenting.

I'm Herb Matthews.

This is my wife, Willa.

Thank you, Herb.

Now, children fall.

into two categories, boys and girls.

Save the jokes, Doc.

We got a bigger problem here. What about kids who hit other kids and the parents

that raise them? Is that a topic the rest of you would like to explore?

How about bedwetting?

Who cares about your problem?

Boys, please.

Impenetrating. hitting, taking things from others can all be manifestations of

confusion in a child who's unsure of his place within the family unit.

Don, I wanted to write that down.

Okay, I'm keeping every one of these.

The solution to most childhood problems, including aggression,

Positive parenting in the home.

Positive parenting, Angela.

That's it.

That's the answer. Come on, let's go.

Please. I would like to hear a little bit more about this. Like what it is.

In our society, we are constantly being told no, don't, can't.

So we must try to communicate with our children without using negatives.

Willa. For example, how would you express...

No parking positively.

Hey, yo, don't park here.

You said don't. That's negative.

You can't park here. You said can't. That's negative.

Willa. How about park elsewhere?

Park elsewhere.

I like that.

Then write it down.

Yuppie yo -yo.

I'm gonna use your pen.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, remember.

No no's, no don'ts, no can'ts, no negatives.

Right. Okay.

Oh, don't! Okay, don't do that! Don't do that! Don't!

Broom elsewhere!

Don't to him. It encourages aggression.

Oh, that's stupid.

So, Billy, what did you do today?

Did you color? Did you play Legos?

Did you shoot some hoops, play throw and field, learn to weld?

I got Mona's sandwich.

You got Mona's sandwich?

That's it?

And some Gatorade. Then I turned on the TV for her.

You know, with this kid around, you don't need the remote.

I gave you a list of specific things to do with him today. Where is that list?

I don't know. Where do things go when you flush?

All right. Come on. Come on, Billy. Time for you to go to bed. Come on. Get

going.

Hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa.

Where are you going?

To Mom's.

Why, sweetheart?

Because I want to live with her.

Bye.

Tony.

Did he just say that he was leaving us for my mother?

What are we doing wrong?

I have no idea.

You think Herb and Willa have a hotline?

Now what?

Hi, guys.

Hi, Andy. Rush in a frat? No.

Angela and I are going to the Harvard -Yale game.

Oh.

Sorry, I forgot. You see, we have this... Problem with Billy. Yes, you

wants to move in with my mother.

Well, good.

Maybe he'll mess up her dates for a change.

Excuse us. Oh, sure, sure. Hey, don't worry about me.

Go, go.

Go right ahead.

Go yell.

You're angry, aren't you?

Well, yeah.

This is the third time in a week you've canceled on me. After I showed up.

Oh, Billy's going through a very difficult period of adjustment right

know, it's a new family and a new school and a new... You don't care about this,

do you?

Look, no offense, but I thought he was Tony's responsibility. He is. He is. I'm

just trying to help. I'm trying to be supportive. I mean, he...

Our responsibility.

I see.

Well, all that means is that I can't pick up and go to a football game with

right now.

Well, then when?

I don't know.

Right.

Well, when things settle down, why don't you give me a call?

Okay.

I will.

Everything okay?

It's fine.

It's fine.

Yeah.

We're going to get together again when things calm down here a bit.

Oh, well, that's good.

I mean, that's good.

Okay, okay.

We got a problem here.

But I want to live with you. Take a number.

Listen, Ed, this is where you live.

But you're fun!

Well, life is not always fun.

And a good way for you to learn that is by living with Tony and Ed.

Wait a minute. What are you talking about? We're fun.

Really? I mean, who taught you how to use your flashcards and how to play with

your computer?

Yeah, and soccer and t -ball and how to separate fine washables.

Aren't they party animals, huh?

Don't worry.

Soon they will learn they do not have to try so hard and plan every minute of

your life so that it makes you so crazy you always end up wanting to hit

everybody.

Come on.

Give them another chance, Ed.

Okay. Good guy. Now, give me back my lucky pillow.

Not that I need it.

She's right.

I know. I hate that.

What was the middle word on the pillow?

Billy, why don't you go upstairs and put on your pajamas?

Okay.

Moni gives me a dollar.

Go upstairs.

But you know what?

Maybe mother doesn't have all the answers. Yeah, I mean, you know, kids.

Why do kids hit?

Anger, frustration.

Maybe his shorts are riding up. That always puts me in a foul mood.

The thing she's right about is that we're too uptight.

We've got to learn to relax.

Exactly, Angela. I mean, if we just raise him like we did Samantha and

then he'll be fine and he won't be so confused about his place in the family

unit. I think Willa would agree with that.

So, is anyone going to tuck me in?

What would Mona do?

Oh, I think she'd tell him to tuck himself in.

Let's go tuck him in.

Hey, you got change for five?

Oh, yeah.

Hi,

Dad. Oh, hi, sweetheart.

I've got something here that I think will help Billy get to sleep.

Oh, yeah? What are you going to do, get him over the head with it?

No, Dad, I got him an environment tape.

You know, it was really tough for me when I first moved here, so I figured

comforting sounds would really help him.

What do you mean? Like a babbling brook or like a running stream? Those things

never work. Come on.

Just give it a shot, okay?