All language subtitles for whos_the_boss_s06e23_road_scholar

There's a time for love and a time for
living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. A
brand new life around the bend.

There were times when you're three or
two.

Found prayer.

And at the end was you There's a path
you take and a path not taken The choice

is up to you, my friend It ain't so
long, but you might awaken To a brand

life, brand new life A brand new life
all around the bend

Well,

now, here we are, right?

Okay, so what we'll do is we'll head
straight up this way here to your first

interview at Ryerson College.

Then we'll head over to here to Marston,
then up to Winnetka, then over to

Sinclair College, and then to
Northeastern University. And then we'll

route as we come all the way back home.
Oh, you know something?

If we detour at Woonsocket, we'd have
Bob Hope's nose.

Right, five colleges in three days.

I could get smart and carsick.

I wish I was going to check out
colleges.

I wish I was graduating a year earlier.

I wish my name was Vivian.

Don't worry.

Next year's your year, Viv.

This year's Sam's. You know, I've been
waiting 17 years for this, Sam.

Now, when you were a little baby, I used
to put you on my knee, and you'd look

up at me and give me that old college
cheer.

You'd say, rah -rah.

Maybe it was da -da.

Maybe it was ca -ca. But anyway, all I
know is my Sammy's going to college.

Let's get out there and find you one,
huh? Oh, Dad, you said we could wait

the mail comes.

Oh, Sam, Sam, please. We're not back on
a Tate University thing. I mean, if they

haven't set up an interview for you yet,
I don't know if they're going to. Dad,

there's still time. I mean, maybe the
problem is that I'm an M, and the

admissions office is only up to the L's.

Zoe Zucker got her letter.

Okay, maybe the problem is that they're
working backwards through the alphabet.

Adam Anderson got his.

Okay, so maybe... They're using the
Hebrew alphabet.

Moishe Greenberg got his.

You see, Moishe got his, huh?

Why are you putting all your eggs in one
basket, Samuel? Why are you setting

yourself up for the big disappointment?

And why do you want to call yourself
Vivian?

Isn't it obvious?

Oh, holy massive. What a

beautiful campus, isn't it?

Dad. How could you tell it's buried
under snow?

Well, that's the beauty of it, Sam. You
could ski to class, you know.

I know, Dad, but Tate is so... Oh,
please, Sam, Sam. You promised me you

going to keep an open mind.

Now, look, this college has one of the
best communications departments in the

whole Northeast.

Right, you're right. Good curriculum, a
chance at a scholarship, and once the

snow melts, I'm sure we'll never run out
of drinking water.

I'm Tony Maselli, and this is my
daughter, Samantha, and she has an

with Dean Miyashiro.

He'll be right with you.

Okay, okay, thank you, thank you.

Hey, Sam, get a load of this building,
huh?

Excuse me, what do you call this style
of architecture?

Old.

See, old, Sam.

Old traditions, old values. That's what
you look for in a college, old, Sam.

Actually, this spring, they're tearing
down this building to make room for a

one. Out with the old and in with the
new, Sam.

Progress, Sam. That's what you look for
in a college, progress.

Dad, you don't have to oversell.

You're 100 % right, Sam. I don't have to
oversell. You know why? Because this

place sells itself.

Am I right?

God, I'd give anything to get out of
here.

If only I could find my car.

Well, it's probably white. You know what
I mean?

Ooh, great shoes.

Yeah? Hey, Sam, making friends already,
huh?

We don't see many shoes around here
before Memorial Day.

Oh, yeah? Really? Why not? Well, that's
when the snow ends.

It snows until May. Oh, well, that's
great, Santa. That means the luge will

open all year round.

Not really.

That's when the rains start.

What's after the rain?

Locusts?

Mosquitoes?

Was this the college that was destroyed
in the Bible?

Sam. Sam, you don't judge a college by
its cover. You look at its courses. Its

academic standing.

The teachers, Sam. And Ryerson is a
terrific school.

But we still have four more colleges to
look at.

And this is our student union.

Oh, wow.

Nice. Very nice. Isn't it beautiful,
Sam? It's nice, huh? Lynn, thanks so

for the tours. Great. Thank you. Sam,
look.

Shoes. Open -toed.

Dad, can I borrow some change? I want to
call home and see if I got the letter

from Tate. Oh, Sam, your fixation is
showing, Sam.

Come on, here. Take a look around.

Isn't this nice?

I mean, couldn't you see yourself going
here?

It's possible. It's possible. Yeah, come
on.

One question.

All I've seen here are girls. Where are
all the boys?

He's sick.

He? But the college guide said that the
male -female ratio was three to one.

No, that was misprint.

Well, girls could be fun too, Sam.

All right, all right. Hey, wait a
minute, wait a minute. There's a boy. I

boy. Look, there's a boy.

No, it's my roommate, Annie.

You know, the facial hair threw me, you
know.

She's a big girl, too, you know.

Okay, Ryerson and Marston are out, but
there was nothing wrong with those other

colleges. They just weren't Tate.

What have you never heard from Tate?

I don't know.

Maybe I'll take the year off and bum
across Europe.

Hey, Sam, you're going to college, all
right, but in America.

Oh, beautiful for spacious skies.

Hey,

buddy!

Move it already!

Hey, hey, hey!

There's singing going on here about
America.

The purple mountain majesties above the
fruited plains.

Dad, I'm not being picky. I just want to
go to Tate. Sam, you are being

stubborn. I mean, you know, sometimes in
life you just can't get what you want.

I mean, sometimes you have to live with
snow or a narrow curriculum or Harry

Annie.

Tate's going to come through for me,
Dad. I know it.

If you're somebody college -bound,
you're acting awfully immature.

Now, Tate is gone.

Tate is history.

Tate is ghost.

It ain't gonna happen.

Oh, you are here.

Guess what? You got a letter from Tate.
I wanted to tell her.

Well, you snooze, you lose.

Tate. Wait a second. Okay, okay, okay.

There will be a representative in our
area, and he wants to interview me.

Sweetheart, this illustrates something
that I've tried to instill in you your

whole lifetime.

When you have a dream, hold it close to
your heart and never, ever, ever let it

go.

Bula bula, bula bula, bula bula, bula
bula. Scientific American, foreign

affairs. Yes, yes, that's so. When the
interviewer gets here, he'll see that

comes from a cultured, cerebral
environment.

Mad magazine.

Well, that shows him we're smart, but
farcically inclined.

Sam is going to get in on the strength
of her academic achievement and the

impression she makes. Of course, Angela,
don't you think I know that?

But every little bit helps.

A perfect Rubik's Cube.

Don't touch it.

I bought it that way.

If anybody asks, Sam did that.

Tony, do you think this outright blatant
pandering could turn him off?

Hmm. Well, maybe you're right, Angela.

I'll mess this up a little bit. That's
what I'll do.

But then again, it might not.

Oh, Angela, please. Don't do this to me.

Okay, okay, okay.

Look, how do I look? Is my hair okay?

Do these earrings go with this outfit?
And what about these shoes? You know,

maybe I should have worn the blue dress.
Blue is so much more decisive and

assertive, isn't it?

I'm going to go change. Now, wait, wait,
wait. Sam, Sam, wait a minute.

Look, you're going to get into college
on the strength of your academic

achievements, not on what you wear.

But let me ask you a question. Does this
color wash me out?

What did you say? Blue is more decisive?
Because I could change, too. Let me go

change. Stop, stop.

You both look terrific.

Nothing is going to spoil this
interview.

Hi, hi.

You know, Sam, I've been thinking about
your interview.

And I have two words for you. Body
language.

I got two words for you.

Adios.

I am serious.

You sit up straight. You look him
directly in the eye.

And you nod intelligently.

And if all else fails, use me as a
reference.

Mother, she's not trying to get into the
floozy Institute of Technology.

I am just trying to be helpful here.
After all, I got into every college I

applied to. And a couple I didn't.

Adios.

Okay, here we go.

Good afternoon.

Welcome to the Bauer House.

I'm Everett J. Warner.

From Tate University?

A pleasure.

My transcript.

Keep it on file.

And remember... Hi. I am Samantha
Maselli.

It's nice to meet you, Mr. Warner. It's
nice to meet you.

Won't you come in?

This is Tony Maselli, her father.

How do you do, sir? And Angela Bauer, my
mother. Hello. Who is not above

greasing some palms to ensure her son's
academic future.

I am good.

Why don't we get comfortable? Would you
like to take a seat? A little

refreshment? No, thank you. Oh, okay.

Oops. Oh, Sam, Sam. How many times must
I tell you to not leave your proust

lying about?

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

She's not normally like this.

Don't worry.

When something's this important, it's
natural to be nervous. I can't believe

My daughter.

My little girl being interviewed by one
of the finest colleges in these here

fine United States.

These here fine.

And you go to college?

I was just using hyperbole, Angela, to
express my pride and exhilaration at my

progeny's achievement.

And don't tell me that ain't hyperbole.

Imagine the two of you, both of you,
going to college at the same time next

year. Yes, yes.

Me at Ridgemont, her at Tate. Two Miss
Ellis in the hallowed halls of learning.

I'm telling you, Angela, we got brains
coming out of our ears.

Very good SATs.

Impressive GPA.

Gee, thanks.

I take my schoolwork very seriously.

Well, that's one of the things we look
for in a Tate student. Oh, of course.

But we also look beyond academics.

Oh, of course, of course.

Like what?

Well, we look for well -rounded, self
-motivated individuals.

People with verve and fire.

For example, I just interviewed a
student who spent the summer in

helping design irrigation ditches.

Tell me, Samantha, what's your
irrigation ditch?

Well, I helped pick out the typeface for
the yearbook, Helvetica.

But I bet you're looking for something a
little bit more Peace Corps -ish,

right? Samantha, tell me something
that's not in here. I really want to go

Tate. Something you haven't said four
times already.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just really,
really want to go to Tate.

Oh, sorry.

I want to know what you hope to get from
our school.

A full scholarship. Oh, God, did I just
say that?

No, no. See, what I meant was that I
really feel that I could benefit...

from Tate because it's got an excellent
communications department and the

faculty is first rate and it's got one
of the most beautiful campuses in these

here fine... I mean, in the United
States.

You're right.

And because of that, we have 50
applications for every opening.

50? Well, what do you think my chances
are?

I usually don't discuss that.

I know, but if you could kind of tell me
how you're leaning... And the

admissions committee notifies the
applicants.

Oh, yeah, but your opinion must mean so
much.

Well, if you really want to know, I'm
leaning towards Appalachia.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

But you must have some other options.

Where else have you applied?

Uh, Ryerson, Marston, Northeastern, um,
Winnetka. All good schools.

But there's an excellent school right in
your own neighborhood.

Ridgemont.

Ridgemont? It's got a solid
communications program. And because

you have a great chance of that full
scholarship.

Yeah, but it's Ridgemont.

Well, if you're not sure, why don't you
talk to some of the other students? Do

you know any?

Just one.

A guy named Tony.

Great. You should get together with him.

Well, thanks for the interview, Mr.
Warner.

It's been nice meeting you. You too.

Good luck.

So when does orientation start? Is
someone

in the Tate class of 94?

No one I know.

How you doing, sweetheart?

Never been better.

Sam, I know how you feel.

It's tough not to get into the school
that you want to go to, but, oh, that's

happened to all of us.

Did it happen to you?

Well, no, but, you know, I'm no stranger
to disappointment.

I never went to the prom.

Well, at least not with a boy over 4
'10".

You know, there must be another school
out there that's right for you.

Well, actually, Mr.

Warner did suggest one. Well, that's
wonderful. You see?

Ridgemont.

Tony's Ridgemont?

Yes.

Well, is that a school that you would
consider?

Yeah, if my dad didn't go there.

Angela, this would be such a disaster. I
mean, I'd never have my own space. I'd

never have freedom.

You'd always have a ride to school.

Honey, I can empathize with you.

But maybe you should just step back and
look at it. You don't want to limit your

options for your future because of your
father.

I know, but it's not fair.

Oh, this is tough for you.

It's just not fair.

Oh, Sam.

If I could make things right for you, I
would.

I mean, why me? Why does this have to
happen to me? It's not fair.

Sam, honey. It's just not fair. Enough.

That's right.

Life isn't fair.

And nobody ever said that it was.

Now, you didn't get into Tate, so you've
got some tough choices to make.

You be a big girl and make them.

It's still not fair. Oh, come on.

Go to Ridgemont?

Don't go to Ridgemont. Go to Ridgemont?
Don't go to Ridgemont. Go to Ridgemont.

Go to Ridgemont?

Don't go to Ridgemont.

Albert Schweitzer, Mother Teresa, and
Ernest Hemingway.

What do these people have in common?

I think they all won Nobel Prizes.
Correct.

And not one of them went to Tate.

Hey, listen. No one who has ever walked
on the moon has gone to Tate. No Supreme

Court justice has ever gone to Tate. You
know, the more I find out who didn't go

to Tate, the more I'm starting to
believe it's just an educational black

There you go. There's a little smile
now, Sam. Come on.

We're going to find you the perfect
school. I promise.

Well, actually,

Dad, the Tate recruiter did mention one.

Oh, really? What was it?

Ridgemont.

Ridgemont? Well, academically, it's got
everything I'm looking for,

unfortunately.

Ridgemont? And I'd have a chance at a
full scholarship.

Bummer.

I mean, Sam, you realize that's where I
go to school.

No, so that's what's been bothering me.

Oh, Sam, I mean, I don't know if I like
this, Sam. I mean, really, it must have

some other options, some options far,
far away.

Dad, it's not like I don't want to go
far away. It's just that I've looked at

this from every angle, and it looks like
Ridgemont is the way to go.

Sadly enough.

I don't know, Sam. I think you just got
to look a little harder, that's all.

Dad, I don't get it. I thought you'd be
in daddy heaven. You get to keep your

little girl home.

Hey, Sam, it's taken me a long time to
accept the fact that you're an adult.

And as an adult, you have to make the
decision that's right for you. I don't

want you settling.

Dad, I am not settling. I know it's best
for me, and it's Ridgemont.

Oh, my God, did I just say that?

Sam, are you positive about this?

I'm afraid I am.

I see.

Oh, this is great.

We'll go to school together. We'll come
home. We'll have lunch together. We'll

drive home together. We'll study. That's
if I live at home.

Huh?

Well, I've been thinking, and even
though I'm not going away to college, it

doesn't mean I can't go away to college.

Huh?

I'm thinking about living in a dorm.

Huh?

A dorm?

Oh, wouldn't you be happier if you were
just... Oh,

wouldn't you like it a lot more? No.

Well, it's not fair, Sam.

Dad, sometimes life isn't fair.

I'll see you at registration.

Oh, but Sam, it's not fair, Sam.

It's not fair.

But it beats the hell out of bombing
across Europe.

Tony, when are you going to be through
studying? I want to play.

No, I want to be a concert pianist.

But that ain't gonna happen either.

But I'm bored.

Well, here, here.

Here. This should keep you busy for
about a thousand years.

Rubik's Cube.

Here you go.

How'd you do that?

I used to date Rubik.