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There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the
An open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.
There were times I lost a dream or two.
And found a trail.
And at the end was you.
There's a path you take and a path not taken.
The choice is up to you, my friend.
Not so long, but you might awaken to a brand new life. A brand new life. A
new life.
Hi, Angela. Hey, look who's here. The man who sells us our H2O.
The Willie Loman of water.
Our good friend. What was your name again?
The little guy.
Hi, Ernie.
So, what's the latest gossip?
Who's pregnant? Who's cheating? Who's divorcing?
Okay, Mark Harper is cheating. Pam Harper is divorcing. And Mary Fuller is
pregnant.
Who's Mary Fuller? The reason Mark and Pam are divorcing.
So sad.
Yeah, yeah, it's sad for them, Angela, but it's an opportunity for you. Their
house is for sale. Look, look. Hey, you know how your accountant's been urging
you to invest in real estate?
How did he know that?
Well, you know, Angela, he has a sixth sense about the... I told him.
Looks like a good deal, but you know, rental property can be such a hassle.
an investment of time as well as money. All right, so look. Hey, look, look.
I'll put in the time, you put in the money, eh? I'll be your superintendent.
Imagine me working for you.
It's worked so far.
With all your new responsibilities, I insist on paying you. Well, hey, I
on being paid. Are you kidding me?
You've got the best boss. No, Ernie, Ernie, you don't know the half of it.
a slave driver. She's hot as nails.
That's right, buster.
Oh.
You have any references?
Well, ma 'am, you're just going to have to call my current employer. I think
you've got the number. Oh, she must be a very smart lady to employ somebody like
you. Well, smart and smart -looking.
Oh, well.
That goes for the man she employs as well.
Well, that man... Stop!
You're making me sweaty.
Okay, okay, hold it, hold it. Hold it.
Upon entering what is now officially Angela's new house, it calls for a
momentous ceremony.
Oh, no, you're not going to sing.
No, I'm not going to sing. But there is a work by the poet Keats that I find
appropriate. Oh, get out of here.
Maybe later?
No. Oh, this is perfect.
I love the windows and the light and the flow.
Forget it, Mother. You're not going to live here rent -free.
What a dump.
What do you think, huh?
Well, it looks different.
That's because I repainted in a new and exciting color, Tuscany Taupe.
What's the matter? You don't like Tuscany Taupe?
Well, it just wouldn't have been my first choice. But that's okay. You
wanted to surprise me. That's nice.
What are these lamps doing here?
Oh, I pulled them out of the garage. Are you kidding me? They're a perfect
counterpoint to the room's negative space continuum.
I saw that in Red Book.
Well, you know, Tony, this is a big room, and they're probably going to want
track lighting. Oh, oh, Angela.
Not track lighting, please.
I mean, that is so passé, so neo -contemporary.
Red Book?
Ladies' Home Journal.
Well, you know, I guess I just had one vision for the house, and you evidently
had another.
Okay, hey, I'll lose the lamp. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. You don't have to
lose the lamp. It's just that next time, maybe you could consult me before
making any decision about the house.
Well, gee, boss, is that an order?
No, no, it's a request based on good taste.
Hello. Oh, hi.
Hi, how are you? I'm Russ Johnson. I'm here to see the house. Oh, hi, Russ. How
are you? I'm Tony Micelli. This is Angela Bauer, the owner. Nice to meet
Gee. This is a great place. Thank you. Thank you. Let me ask you. Are there
single women in the neighborhood?
Why do you ask, Russ?
I like to party.
Boy, I hope I can get my speakers through this door.
Bye, Russ.
Thank you very much for coming. Really, folks. Hey, listen.
Check with me again if you ever get out of the witness protection program.
This is so frustrating. We see 12 people, we get 12 losers.
Maybe what we should do is lower the rent to $12 .50. Then we'll get a better
response. No, no, never, Angela, never. Hold your ground. Keep a positive
attitude. We'll have this place rented before you leave on your business trip.
I'll leave in one hour.
Well, see, Angela, just when it appears darkest, that's when Lady Luck comes a
-knocking at your door.
Hello?
Well, her father, old man luck. Come on.
Hi there, Don Lester. Hi, Don.
How are you? I'm Tony Maselli. I do. And this is Angela Bowden. How are you?
Hello. Won't you come in?
Oh, what a wonderful, wonderful room.
Okay. So, Don, why do you want to rent?
Well, now that I'm retired, I travel a lot. So, well, renting is ideal.
Besides, this place is near where my barbershop quartet practice is.
Barbershop quartet? I love barbershop quartets. I was in one myself. There
five of us.
You're very funny, young man.
I like this guy.
So, how much are you asking?
$1 ,500 a month, two months in advance.
Oh, gee, two months, huh?
You know, it would be easier for my bookkeeping if I could pay you six
advance.
Oh, well, sure, well, it's a lot to ask, Don, but maybe we could work something
out, you know. We have a few more people to see, but we'll be deciding soon. I
understand. Oh, gee, I do love this house.
That is a great color. Is that taupe?
It's Tuscany token. Oh, that's a good choice. Oh, there are my references.
Stay by your phone.
Five guys in a quartet.
That is rich.
Let's just adopt him.
Tony, I think we found our man.
Oh, did I tell you, boss? Yes, I'll see you in a couple of days. Okay, okay.
Hey, have a safe and successful trip. We will. Thank you, too. Bye -bye.
Oh, hey, girls, get around for what I'm putting down. Oh, baby, I'm your
handyman.
Oh, shoot, I'm too late, aren't I? Just say I'm too late and I'll turn right
around and I'll leave, okay?
No, no, no, please don't leave.
I'm Tony.
Oh. Oh, you're the guy I spoke to about the ad.
I'm Michelle.
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
Oh, wow.
Look at this place.
You know, I was supposed to be here at three, but my audition ran late.
Audition?
You're an actress, aren't you?
You know, you look so familiar to me. Really? Well, I was in a rock video. I
played a mannequin.
That's where I've seen you.
Oh, you were very good. Very good. The way you just stood there.
Hey, Tony, I heard you're over here. I thought I'd... Hi, I'm Michelle.
You are that and more.
I'm Arnie.
Hi.
Well, I'm just going to look around.
Boy, she's going to make a great tenant.
Yeah, yeah, she will.
Do you think she goes for men in uniform?
Damn, I should have worn those pants that hug my butt tighter.
Arnie, hold it. Wait a minute, wait a minute. I can't keep her to house.
Andrew and I just agreed, sort of, to give this guy that was just here the
house. Dump him!
Dump him, dump him, dump him, dump him! But I can't, I can't.
Um, Michelle, look, about the house, I'm sorry, but somebody just beat you to
it. Oh!
Darn, Will.
It's my fault I was too late.
Need a hug?
I'm out of here.
Michelle, thanks a lot for stopping in, and good luck.
Thanks for being so sweet.
You need a hug?
Mr.
Lester?
Don?
Yoo -hoo!
It's your new landlady!
Mr. Lester?
Hi,
I'm Michelle.
Hi, I'm confused.
The place is rented.
Tell him his boss wants an explanation.
I'm in a lot of trouble.
Have you two met?
I'm Angela.
Boy. From the way Tony described you, I was expecting a much older woman.
And I was expecting a much older man.
Well, I think I'll go finish unpacking.
Well, what happened to Don Lester?
Oh, poor...
Angela, dear, sweet, naive Angela, you didn't go for his song and dance, did
you? What song and dance was that?
Angela, let's analyze what he said. He said he travels, Angela. Who travels,
Angela? Vagrants travel.
Convicted felons travel.
Colombian cartel members, they travel.
The man sings in a barbershop quartet. Yes, but what tune is he singing in?
That's what I want to know. Boy, are you reaching.
Okay, okay, maybe I'm reaching a little. Okay, but, but hey.
I reached out to help somebody.
I mean, look, when Michelle came for the house, I told her no, it was rented.
But then she had to come back because her car broke down, and she didn't
complain not once, not once, not one word, this after a week of losing her
agent, her boyfriend, and a national ravioli commercial.
Okay, she's a trooper.
Yes, she is, she is. Do you know, this girl put herself through school.
Yes, she has no family, few friends, and all she wants out of life is a nice,
clean place to live. Oh, and maybe another shot at selling raviolis.
Hey, maybe you could make a couple of calls.
Tony. All I know is, had you been here, you would have made the same decision as
me, because you care as much about people as I do.
Okay, okay, she can stay and...
I'll see what I can do about the ravioli commercial.
Well, we've got to keep her working. After all, we want to keep getting our
,500 a month.
See, that's another thing. You know, you remember when you said $1 ,500 may
be too high and that $1 ,250 was a nice round number?
You gave it to her for $1 ,250.
Well, she needed the other $2 ,250 for tap lessons.
You know, you've got to have that on your resume, Angela.
All right.
All right, it's done.
Look, I know that I sound like a broken record, but please, please don't make
any decisions concerning the house until you consult with me first.
Okay, okay, boss.
I made a boo -boo.
Hey, it won't happen again. From now on, any decision, we make together.
Thank you. No problem.
Oh, Tony? Yes?
Do you think that maybe you can help me put in the track lights?
Maybe?
Oh?
You're putting in track lighting?
I love track lighting. Tony does, too.
He does!
What was the word you used to describe it?
Theatrical.
Hey, Angela, Angela.
You know how you told me you want me to check with you on anything concerning
Michelle's house? Oh, I like to think of it as my house, so go on.
Well, what would you think about me building some bookshelves for her living
room? I like to think of it as my living room, and I don't think it's necessary.
What would you think if I told you I already bought the lumber, the nails,
the brackets?
I'd say return them.
Oh, what would you think if I told you I already made it?
I'd say move them over to my study.
Well, I'd like to think of Michelle's study as your study.
We have got to talk about Michelle.
Is there a problem?
Tony, look, it's just, it's getting out of hand. I didn't sleep a wink last
night. I heard some guy yelling until one o 'clock in the morning.
Was he screaming, Babette, over and over again?
No. Oh, then it wasn't coming from my place.
Angela, Angela, Michelle was rehearsing a scene with an actor friend. Come on,
let's support the arts here.
Phew, I could use a tall, cold one.
What have you been doing?
Michelle's yard, it needed some mowing, some weeding. I planted some squash.
Don't you see that, Angela? You see, the whole family is pitching in to make
sure that your investment goes great, huh? We're doing this for you.
Hey, speak for yourself.
I do it because Michelle makes me feel real loose like a long -necked goose.
Do you not see that renting to this woman was a mistake? She's always coming
with these little chores for you to do. Well, that's because she doesn't have
any money to hire someone, which is probably why her rent check bounced.
Her rent check bounced?
Oh, yeah, well, I just found out about it myself. Hey, hey, but don't worry
about a thing, huh? As soon as that uh -uh gig comes through, she'll be rolling
in dough. She'll be on Easy Street. Well, it won't be Oak Hill's Drive.
out.
Oh, is that an order, boss?
Yeah, it's an order.
Well, fine, fine, fine. She's out. She's not a good tenant, so she's gone. I'll
go move her right now. But let me say one thing, and here it is, Angela.
something else going on here.
Something not very pretty.
Something downright ugly.
Oh, and what is that?
The J word, Angel.
Jaundice?
Jujubees?
The big J.
Ja -ja.
No, that's with a Z.
Jealousy, Mother. You know, jealousy.
Oh, well, I would never have gotten that.
And I am not jealous. Sure you are.
But there's nothing wrong with that. It's a human emotion.
Did you know seven out of ten domestic murders are caused by jealousy?
Thank you, Mother, for that barely relevant statistic.
Hey, I don't make this stuff up. I just report it.
Mother, look.
Having the big J is not a problem.
Unless it makes you do things you regret, like pulling rank on your best
I was just protecting my investment.
Fine, fine, but keep one thing in mind.
33 % of all women who are jealous of younger women with shiny brown hair are
riding around on bald tires.
I read that on the side of a blimp, so it may not be accurate.
Thy will be done.
I told her to vacate, just like you said. She's moving. Good. Thank you for
efficiency. Oh, hey, hey, just doing my job, you know. Hey, anybody else you
want me to evict? Sam getting on your nerves? She's out, too. Oh, now, that's
it. I am sick of this. Both of you, sit down.
Sit. I don't want to sit. Well, sit anyway.
Now, it's pretty clear what's going on here.
Huh?
Tony is right.
You are not just protecting your interest. You're upset because of all
that he's spending with Dimpleface.
Told you.
And Angela is right. So there.
You are letting Michelle get away with murder.
Simply because she's the best looking 30 year old around since, well, since I
was 30 years old.
This isn't about you. No.
It's about a couple of children.
So I want you to stop bickering.
Swallow your pride. And for Pete's sake, let me see some smiles here.
Now shake hands.
Now kiss each other full on the lips.
I took a shot.
I guess I was taken in a bit by a pretty face.
Yeah, I guess I was a little bit jealous.
Really? I hadn't noticed.
You know what the worst part about this is?
I treated you like an employee.
Tony, I gave you an order. I don't remember the last time I did that.
February 2nd, 1987.
It was pouring, and you ordered me to go out and unclog the rain gutters.
Why did I have to order you?
There's spiders up there, Angela.
Well, I guess we're all through that boss -employee stuff.
Yeah, yeah. Hey, what do you say we do this right, huh? What do you say we find
that perfect tenant? You're on. When do we start? Tomorrow morning. Well, only
if that's convenient for you. Well, no, it's convenient for me if it's
convenient for you. No, I really wanted it to work for you. No, no, no.
Remember, remember, I'm working for you. It's yours. You're the boss. You're the
boss. Hi.
No hard feelings.
I really belong back in New York anyway.
But I just have one little question.
Do you think that maybe I could just stay on until I can find another place?
Well, I think this is a question for the superintendent. What do you say?
Well, of course, I say whatever you say.
Appreciated, but I defer to you.
Partners conference, okay?
Could you excuse us a minute?
Angela. It could take this woman nine weeks, months to find an apartment in
York City. Well, then, Tony, it could take just a couple of days. You're
Okay, Michelle, you can stay.
Oh,
it's good to have you.
Oh, you two are the sweetest things.
I could gobble you up.
Especially this boy.
Aw, shucks, ma 'am.
I think I'll just go and make dinner.
Arrivederci.
Oh, thank you so much, Angela. You are so...
Money?
Why are you giving me money?
Well, if you're going to be looking for an apartment in the city, wouldn't it be
better if you stayed in a hotel there?
Well, yeah, but I can't take your money.
Oh, well, Michelle, just think of it as my contribution to the arts.
Bye. Oh, Angela, every time I step on stage, I will remember this wonderful
of generosity.
Arrivederci.
Okay, Tony, you can move those bookcases.
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