Original subtitles

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

Open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found the trail and at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path not taken.

The choice is up to you, my friend.

Not so long, but you might awaken to a brand new life. A brand new life. A

new life goes round the bend.

Thank you. Hi.

Hi. Welcome to Stromboli.

Oh, thank you. About a half an hour wait. If you want to go sit at the bar,

put you on the list. Oh, okay, sure.

Miss Ellie, M -I -C.

See the pretty hostess?

E -L -L -I.

I see the pretty hostess.

Whoa! It takes a real pro to pick up a hostess. Ah, no, Pee -wee, I wasn't

trying to pick up the hostess. I'm just trying to get us a table in this place.

Great. How about next to those babes? Now, wait a minute, Pee -wee, Pee -wee.

thought you dragged me here to talk to me about Muriel leaving you.

Oh, yeah.

Muriel left me.

Well, let's get some women. A minute. It's too soon anyway. How do you know

Muriel won't come back?

Oh, it's over.

Dead.

Finito.

She wouldn't take me back now if I got on my knees and begged.

No, no. I'm telling you. Yes, she would.

Dear Pee -wee, it's over. Dead. Finito.

I wouldn't take you back now even if you got down on your knees and begged.

You're single.

No, you gotta help me out here, Tony. I need a babe. All right. Take it easy.

You need a babe.

Listen, the problem is that you're never going to find anybody worthwhile in a

place like this.

Hey, I think Angela's pretty worthwhile.

Exactly. And that's why you'd never find Angela in a meat market like this.

Sure you would. She's right over there.

Oh, my God. Come on. Let's go out the back way. No, wait. There's Tony.

Hey, hi, Tony.

Hi, hi.

Hey, well, what are you two doing here? I thought you were going shopping.

Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

We also had dinner. What are you doing here? I thought you were going to turn

early. Well, I'm here cheering up Pee Wee.

His wife left him. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, she got angry.

We had a fight.

She says all I ever do is sit around and watch TV.

When did all this happen?

I'm not sure. I think it was sometime during Jake and the Fat Man.

Take a seat, please.

Tony, do you think this is the best place to console a friend whose wife

left him? Hey, Angela, this is Pee -wee's idea. You know me.

I hate these places.

What are you talking about?

You used to crave in these places. I did not, Pee -wee.

I bet you did.

We used to call him the old angler.

He'd just throw out a line and reel the girls in.

Pee -wee.

Oh, tell me more.

Angelos. When he got married, instead of retiring his number, they took a pair

of his pants and hung it up over the local bar.

Yeah, yeah, well, I'd love to stay and listen to some more stories, but not

you.

I will take bachelor number two.

They don't have takeout here.

We're leaving. Try to keep your pants on. And no fly fishing either.

Night shooting fish in a barrel.

Hi. These two seats taken?

Whoa, they're jumping in the boat.

No, no, please. Have a seat. Have a seat.

I'm Joan. This is Susan. Hi, I'm Tony.

I'm Pee -wee.

You get the irony?

Pee -wee, be cool. There's a thin line between charming and repulsive.

Good tip, Tom. Thanks.

So, uh, you broads come here often?

Actually, we were just going to have a drink and then go see Casablanca at the

Revival Theater.

Oh, Casablanca. That's a classic. I love that movie. And Bogie. Bogart's my

favorite. In fact, I like him so much, I won't do an impression.

Yeah, Bogie. I love Bogie.

You look really rad.

Pretty good, huh?

You know, I don't think they write great romances like Casablanca anymore.

Oh, no, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Have you seen Lady and the Tramp?

Well, you know, they're running a Bogart festival all month.

Starting Friday night, they're showing Treasure of Sierra Madre. Really?

You know, I always wanted to see that movie on a big screen.

Want to make it a date?

A date?

Oh,

I'm sorry. Maybe I'm being too forward. I've never done this before. I'm not

very good at it. Oh, no, no. You're very good at it.

I mean, I like movies.

So we're on?

Okay, we're on.

Terrific, then.

Here is my number.

Give me a call.

You bet. You bet. Great.

You want to make an apportionment? No.

Wait, wait, wait. I can crush a beer can on my head.

Have you tried a bottle?

Whoa. Did we have a wild time last night? What time did we get in? One,

9 .30.

It felt like longer.

Who am I kidding?

I'm not cut out for this single life.

I'm a one -woman guy.

I know what you mean, huh? Hey, Popeye's got olive oil, Donald's got daisy, and

Porky's got petunia. Oh, you didn't hear?

Petunia threw Porky out.

Oh, yeah, it was on Cartoon Cavalcade this morning.

Are you kidding me? You know, I never trusted that petunia, that little pig.

Reminds me.

I really miss Muriel. I'm going to beg her to take me back.

Now you're talking, Pee -wee. Now you're talking. Yeah, I mean, nobody can live

that shallow, empty life as good as you can.

Oh, gee, gee, thanks, Pee -wee, but that's not exactly my lifestyle either.

fact, let me tell you something.

I'm thinking about canceling that date I made with that girl, Joan. Oh, can I

have her?

Pee -wee, I thought you said you were going back to Muriel.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

So, how come you made a date with her if you're just going to call it off?

Hey, hey, I didn't make a date with her. She made it with me. I just said yes.

Oh, you did a little more than say yes.

But, you know, old habits, they die hard. You know what I mean? I mean,

there I was. I could have stopped it friendly, but no.

I had to go all the way to irresistible.

Yeah, well, don't be too hard on yourself. You know, you're a guy.

I mean, flirting's what we do.

It's a raison d 'etre.

Where'd you pick that up? Jake and the fat man go to Paris?

You know what I mean. I mean...

Where do you go to natural dust, guys?

Yeah, I love to flirt. When I'm looking in some girl's eyes and I'm being real

cute. You know, me.

I feel great, like I could live forever.

When did you become Warren Baby?

Hey, I'm not as harmless as I look.

You know, guys, there's nothing like the thrill of the chase.

Oh, yeah? What are we chasing this morning?

Chicks, babes, skirts.

Go to school, John.

Tomatoes, boy toys.

Boy toys?

Tony, why are you teaching him?

Oh, I hate to tell you this, but he's self -educated.

I have a feeling he's getting some good coaching.

You're right.

Tony's the best.

You should have seen him last night. Your seats weren't even cold before we

our table for dinner.

Uh -huh.

Let me guess, some pretty girl came by, couldn't resist your charms? Angela, why

should I flirt with a pretty girl at a restaurant when I can flirt with a

beautiful woman right here at home?

Boy, I should have brought my shovel.

That's it.

That's it. I'm calling off that date. What are you going to tell her? I'm

to tell her the truth. What else?

I just hope I can do it without hurting her feelings.

Hello,

Joan?

This is Tony. You know, you met me the... Right, right.

The guy with the boyish grin.

Well, listen, about Friday night, I'm real sorry, but I'm not going to be able

to make it.

Well, the truth of the matter is that I have to go to Paris.

Well,

business, you know. C 'est la vie.

I'm in the coffee machine business, yes. Maybe you've heard of us?

Mishula Coffee.

Well, anyway,

look, I'm really, really sorry about this, okay?

Okay, bye -bye.

Whoa!

You were going to Paris?

Hi.

Hi.

I hear that Dr.

Powell is tough.

Yeah, that's what I hear, too.

Boy,

I feel naked today.

Excuse me?

Well, I used to have hair down to my waist, but I got it cut yesterday.

I don't know. Do you think it looks weird?

Uh, no. I think you look like a million, uh... I look like a million what?

Um, other women.

You look like a million other women.

You were about to compliment me. Why'd you stop yourself?

Well, I'm, uh, I'm trying to cut down.

Bonjour. You're Dr.

Powell? Oui.

Could I interest you in a cappuccino machine?

Joan,

Joan, please, let me explain, Joan. Oh, I guess I should call you Dr. Powell. I

mean, after all, we are in your classroom, Dr. Powell. I mean, but it's

mean, last night you were Joan in a singles bar, you know what I mean? I

it's not crazy.

You can go to a singles bar. I'm sure a lot of my old teachers go to singles

bars. Well, maybe not the nuns.

Who knows, you know what I mean?

Could you help me here?

Okay. How about you obviously didn't want to go out with me and made up a

excuse to back out?

No, no, no. It was more like... Did you think

if you told me the truth, I couldn't handle it?

Oh, absolutely not. I guess there's no graceful way out of this, huh?

No.

But I will let you off the hook. Let's just forget the whole thing happened.

Now, I have a class to teach, so let's get to work. Okay, yeah, work, work,

that's it. Throw yourself into your work, you know.

No, I didn't mean, I didn't mean that you had to throw yourself into your work

to forget.

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna sit down.

Good morning.

Welcome to Ancient Civilizations 201.

I'm Dr.

Powell.

You may want to start taking notes. There will be a major paper due in two

weeks.

To begin, I would like to discuss a mythological

battle, but one that is based on a real trade conflict.

I'm speaking about the Trojan War, a war won by deception, a rarity in history

because more often than not, deceit has led to disaster. Isn't that right, Tony?

I never want to forget this perfect vision of beauty.

Damien lives.

Oh, look!

A postcard from Pee Wee.

Ah, dear gang.

Muriel and I have been in beautiful Hawaii for two weeks now, and Muriel

insisted on a room without a TV.

I gave her the wildest, most thrilling, most fulfilling night since our

honeymoon.

And the second night, she demanded a TV.

Women, women, women. I've had it with them.

Angela, after only five years, you have turned him against an entire sex.

Tony, I beg you, don't judge us all by our weakest link. Oh, Tony.

I got a C.

This paper got a C, and it deserves an A. And it's all because of that Dr.

Powell. She's got it in for me.

Why does she have it in for you? Oh, I'll tell you why.

I'll tell you the truth. It's really no big thing.

It sure seemed like a big thing when you walked in.

Oh, yeah, but, you know, now that I got it off my chest, oh, I feel so much

better.

What is going on?

Well, uh...

You're going to find this amusing, Angela, you know. But Friday night at

Stromboli's, I made a date with Joan. I mean, Dr. Powell.

My, weren't we the busy little fishermen?

I brought the date the next day. I mean, I didn't want to go out with her in the

first place.

Really? Really? Why is that?

Well, that's not the point, Angela. The point is that she couldn't handle the

rejection. She channeled her disappointment into a vicious act of

My, my.

And, you know, I thought everything was fine until I saw that paper. But then I

realized she still wants me.

Tony, is it at all possible that your male ego has run amok?

Angela, now, I know how this sounds, but believe me, I have no ego.

Oh, you know something else? I was just thinking. I just remembered something.

Last week, I bent down to pick up a book.

And I'll be darned if she didn't sneak a look at my derriere.

How can you be sure? Oh, men know these things, don't you?

Tony, is it possible that your paper just wasn't up to snuff? My paper is

snuff. Are you kidding me? Every fact and every figure is correct.

They come right out of her own lectures. Well, then maybe she made a mistake.

Will you give the woman the benefit of the doubt? Just tell her that you want

talk to her tomorrow.

I am not waiting until tomorrow. Excuse me.

How come you know her phone number?

Photographic memory.

Hello, Dr.

Powell's office, please.

Thank you.

Hello, Dr. Powell.

This is Tony Maselli.

I would really like to discuss my paper with you.

No, if you don't mind, I'd like to do it as soon as possible.

Uh -huh.

Oh, I see.

Okay.

Fine. She said if I want to talk to her, I should meet her at

Stromboli's.

She's a sly one, Angela.

That's weird.

Maybe she does want you.

That's not so weird.

Come on. We got to get down there. We?

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to prove to you that my ego has never run amok.

There she is. There she is. Look, having a great time, man. Probably posting my

scene. Tony, why don't you just go over and talk to her? I'll stay right here

and have a nice tea. No, no way, Angela.

You have to stay within earshot. You're my witness.

At some later date, I may have to prove this to some review committee.

Now, go sit by the bar over there.

Hello,

Dr. Powell.

Tony. Hi.

We're not in school. You may call me Joan.

Joan? Oh, so you want me to call you Joan?

You remember Susan?

Hi. Is Pee -wee here?

No. Have a seat.

Um, can we talk?

Sure. Um, Susan, would you mind leaving us alone?

Alone? Oh, so you want us to be alone?

Tony, are you okay?

Uh -huh.

I'll just let you two talk.

Look, Dr. Powell, Joan, about my paper.

How could you give it a C? That was one good paper.

You're right, it was a good paper. Oh, so you admit it was a good paper.

Capricorn, you?

Yes, in fact, your paper

was one of the very best papers in the class.

Oh, very interesting, very interesting. It was one of the best papers in the

class, and yet I only got a C.

That's right. You got the highest grade in the class. Ha -ha!

So I got the highest grade... I got the highest grade in the class?

Tony, I'm tougher than most teachers.

Sure, you got all the facts straight, but I know that you are capable of more

than just regurgitating what I give you in the lectures.

In the future, I expect more independent thought and conceptualization.

Oh.

Did you think there was something else behind the grave?

Oh, no, no.

Of course not.

What makes you say that?

Well, you seem so agitated.

Me? No, no, not me. Well, I've been having some medical problems.

I'm feeling a lot better now, and I'll see you tomorrow. Wait a minute.

You thought I gave you the C because you stood me up, didn't you?

Oh, no, of course not.

Tony, do you think that because you broke our date, I have a vendetta

you? That you are so irresistible to women you throw us all into a tailspin

we can't have you?

Well, I... You must think that every woman in this bar wants you.

Excuse me, do you want him?

Well, I... Contrary to your paranoia, Tony, I will not hold this against you.

And I will see you in class tomorrow.

Provided you and your male ego can fit through the door.

I think she still wants me.

I'm so embarrassed.

It wasn't that bad. Yes, it was.

I got full of myself.

You must think I'm a class A jerk.

I'll give you a C.

Come on, let's go home. I just want to go home and die. Wait, wait, wait.

I got a better idea.

Why don't we just take in a movie?

With you?

How can I resist?

Oh, I bet you say that to all the girls.

Not anymore.

Come on, let's get out of here.

The treasure of Sierra Madre.

Humphrey Bogart, Walter Houston, John Houston, Tim Holt.

You know, Hollywood couldn't make another film like that again if they

Of course not. All those people are dead.

Hi.

Sweetheart, what are you still doing up?

Practicing. Pee -wee showed me a great way to pick up women.

Oh, no.

Not more lines.

Even cooler. Watch.